Original subtitles

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mr. Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mr. Ed ♪

[Mr. Ed humming]

What is this?

Happy Thanksgiving,Wilbur.

The same to you, Ed,

but have you been in the Addisons' garden again?

Not all of me, just my head.

The spirit of Thanksgiving is giving, not taking.

So Addison gave, and we took.

I appreciate the thought, Ed,

but you've got to learn to understand

the purpose of a fence.

It's to divide one man's property from another.

You shouldn't steal the Addisons' gardenias.

I'm sorry, Wilbur.

You are?

I'm sorry my neck isn't longer,

or you'd have had roses.

Get back into your stall. Go on!

Ohhh!

Lucky you weren't caught,

or the Addisons would be stuffing a horse now

instead of a turkey.

Wilbur!

Yes, dear?

Ahhh.

Good morning, Mr. Ed.

Honey, do you think a 15-pound turkey will be enough?

Well, that's enough for me, but what are you going to eat?

Oh, stop joking. I have to know.

Kay and Roger are coming for Thanksgiving dinner.

Now, what kind of dressing would you like?

I've got an idea.

You've always gone to a lot of trouble

cooking that dinner.

This year, it's going to be different.

Ooh, you're going to cook.

Nah, let's live this Thanksgiving.

Roger and I will take you and Kay out for dinner.

Oh, thank you, darling! That's wonderful!

You know, I've got the most thoughtful husband in the world.

Yep, you picked the orchid in the garden of love.

Well, I'd better go tell Kay our plans.

Hey, orchid boy!

What's this jazz about eating out?

Well, you know how it is, Ed.

A man's gotta think of the little woman.

- How about the little horse? - Forget it, Ed.

Thanksgiving is for people, not for horses.

- See you later. - Oh!

Well, thanks, Ed.

You're, uh, you're being very considerate today, fella.

Please, Wilbur, please,

I don't want to eat alone on Thanksgiving.

I'll be crying in my hay.

Please be reasonable.

Oh, don't you love your horsey?

Yeah, and I love my wifey too.

Choose between us.

Okay, I choose Carol.

I'll put it another way.

Please don't put me on the spot.

[Ed crying]

Look, Ed, when you cry,

you make me feel like crying, too.

I have no daddy.

I want to eat with you, Wilbur.

[laugher]

Oh, you win, as usual.

Oh, bless you, bless you!

Yeah, now I've gotta see

if I can talk Carol out of eating out

or into eating in.

Uh, Wilbur, be crafty. Women are very foxy.

Just leave it to me, Ed.

When I get finished with Carol,

she'll be glad to eat at home.

You go back in your stall, huh?

- You find a restaurant, dear? - Not yet.

All the restaurants are advertising Thanksgiving dinners.

Honey, where would you like to eat?

Oh, no, dear. This is your day!

Any place you pick, fine with me.

- Any place? - Any place.

How about the Gondolier Room?

That greasy spoon?

What's wrong with it?

That chef is so bad,

his kitchen should be declared a disaster area.

But if you want to eat there, dear, why--

Oh, no, no, Wilbur.

Maybe you ought to pick the place.

Me? Oh, no, no, dear, no.

Your taste is good enough for me.

You pick out some spot, that's where we'll go.

Okay.

How about Peralto's?

If you want to go to Peralto's,

Peralto's it is,

but we'd better have a little snack before we leave.

Why?

They serve very generous portions.

Yeah, but that service, it's slow.

Between the soup and the salad, your credit card expires.

But if you want to go there, dear, it's fine with me.

No, no, Wilbur. I want you to be happy, too.

Valencia's on Sunset Boulevard!

Now, there-- there is a great restaurant.

And the service is excellent!

Four waiters to every table.

And they need them.

It takes four men to carry in that check.

Wilbur, do me a favor. You pick out the place.

Me? Oh, what do I know about restaurants?

That talk about taking me out to dinner was fun.

Let's play it again next year.

Honey, the best is none too good for my little wife.

Valencia's it is!

Wonderful.

Who cares what it costs?

I care how much it costs.

But, doll, I've already told Carol

we're going to Valencia's with them.

What possible excuse could I give for backing out?

I just don't like to be gouged.

I go to one of those fancy restaurants,

I have to tip the parking lot attendant.

I have to tip the hat check girl.

I have to tip the maitre d'.

And before you know it,

there goes 50 cents down the drain.

I tip generously-- not frequently, but generously.

Sweetheart, we have just got to go out this year.

Every Thanksgiving, we have dinner at the Posts'.

And I've never complained once.

Thanksgiving is a time for family togetherness,

and it should be spent at home

in the tradition of the holiday.

Kay, my mind is made up.

Now, if the Posts want to go, let them.

[doorbell]

I'll get it, Sugar Daddy.

Hi, Kay.

Wilbur made a reservation for 7:00 at Valencia's.

Is that okay with you two?

Well, I, I'm afraid you'll have to forget about us, Carol.

My lumbago is acting up again.

Oh, I'm sorry. We were looking forward

to taking you and Kay out to dinner.

Oh?

Roger, it's only a short drive.

Are you sure you couldn't make it?

Well, we, we, we would like to be with you kids.

Well, all right.

And if the pain gets too bad, I can always grit my teeth.

Around a turkey leg.

Congratulations, sweetheart.

What for?

You've just discovered a miracle cure for lumbago.

Hey, what are you doing?

Going home to Mother.

What for?

I want to be with my family on Thanksgiving.

Ed, we're your family.

Then how come you're eating out

and I'm eating in?

Ed, your mother is 100 miles away on a farm.

How are you going to get to her?

These are four legs, you know, not piano stools.

Ed, you're talking like a child.

[Ed crying]

I want my mama.

Please, Ed, I've made my plans.

Mommy! Mommy!

All right, Ed.

[Ed crying]

I'm going to have to talk to Carol first

and see if I can get her to cook at home.

[Ed crying]

Oh, oh, thank you, Wilbur.

Would you like me to call and order the turkey, hm?

You stay out of it. Carol hasn't agreed yet.

I'm going to have to work on her first.

Okay! Bless you, Wilbur.

- Yeah, yeah. - [Ed chuckles]

Carol!

Be right down, darling.

[dialing phone]

Hello, operator?

Would you please test this line?

Yeah, the number is Poplar 9-1769.

Thank you very much.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Harry.

Hi. What?

No, no, Harry, kid. I'm, uh, I'm afraid we can't.

That's very kind of you to invite us,

but we're, uh, we're having dinner out

with the Addisons this year.

Yes, well, you enjoy your home-cooked dinner, Harry, boy.

Yeah, love to Helen.

No, I'm afraid that's definite, kid.

Carol and I, we're eating out.

Good-bye, Harry.

Oh, why, when did you come down?

Honey, why didn't you tell me

you wanted to have dinner at home?

Oh, no, you forget about that call.

No, we are eating at Valencia's.

I love their K-rations-- uh, turkey.

I'm calling the butcher right now

and order a turkey,

and I don't want to hear another word.

[doorbell]

I'll get it. You go ahead.

Here's your turkey, Mr. Post.

Turkey? What turkey?

Oh, you phoned and ordered a turkey an hour ago.

[Wilbur stuttering]

Turkey? What turkey?

And two quarts of cranberry sauce

and five bunches of carrots.

Cranberries and five bunches of, of carrots?

Mr. Post, don't you want this turkey?

Well, as long as you're here.

Never mind.

This is one turkey that will not be left at the post.

Take it back, Henry.

[door closing]

Heh-heh, that's very good, left at the post.

Quick as a flash, too. I tell you.

You really had me fooled with that phone call.

Now, look, Carol, I don't want any arguments.

We are dining out, and that is an order.

[Ed barking like a dog]

Now cut that out.

If there's anything I can't stand,

it's a wise guy horse.

Me, too.

I'm glad I'm a cocker spaniel.

[barking]

Why did you order that turkey without my permission?

I would have had it all set with Carol,

if you hadn't phoned the butcher.

Ah, me and my big mouth.

I'm afraid your big mouth will be eating by itself.

But, Wilbur, you're my family,

and we ought to be together on my holiday.

Your holiday?

Sure!

If it wasn't for a horse,

there wouldn't be any Thanksgiving.

What are you talking about?

What did a horse have to do with Thanksgiving?

Would you like to hear the real story of Thanksgiving,

the one they're afraid to tell?

No, I'll wait until the movie comes out.

Well, it all started in 1620.

That was a bad year, Wilbur,

a terrible year for the Pilgrims.

The crops were poor.

The winter was cold.

The Indians were hostile.

The only friend the Pilgrims had

was one brave early American horse.

Things finally got so bad,

the governor called an emergency town council.

[murmuring]

I'm starving! Where's our food?

- You promised us-- - [murmuring]

Silence. Silence, my friends.

Silence.

We're starving. Where is our food?

Silence, my brethren. Shut thy big yaps.

I'm only your governor, not a magician.

I can't make corn grow where it refuses to grow.

No one can make corn grow on this barren land.

Husband, the Indians are making the corn grow.

Yeah.

Of course, of course.

Hold thy tongue, wife.

And if thou canst not hold it, step on it.

Watch, Your Excellency. Your wife speaks the truth!

The Indians do grow corn on this very same land.

We elected you, because you promised us

bigger harvests than the other candidate.

Well, naturally.

I had to win the election somehow.

But I shall keep my promise, keep them all,

all in due time.

The time is due. Putteth up or shuteth up.

Who, who saith that?

Who dareth to speaketh like thateth?

Calm down, dolleth.

Someone should go to the Indians

and bring back their kind of seed,

- and then we shall have corn. - Of course.

An excellent idea, an excellent idea, Citizen Smythe.

Someone must brave the Indian's arrow

and save our little colony.

Uh, husband, why dost thou not volunteer?

Thou art the governor.

[shouting]

Woman, it is times like this

when I regret buying two tickets on the Mayflower.

I'll get the seeds from the Indians.

They'd never hurt a horse.

[whip cracking]

Uh-oh!

Me thinketh I'll take a back road.

Oh!

And so the gallant, handsome horse went off

to save the Pilgrims.

Ed, do you really expect me to believe

it was a horse who went to the Indians

and got them to help the Pilgrims?

Were you there, Wilbur?

No.

So, like I say, it was a horse.

Okay, Ed. And what happened next?

After three rest stops,

the gallant horse came to an Indian village,

where lived many brave warriors

and one chickenhearted Indian.

The horse found the Chief in war council.

Must do something about hostile Pilgrim.

Very quiet in settlement.

They're hungry.

Maybe plan attack on us for food.

Maybe bring war.

- Mm-hm. - Yeah.

No need for war.

Hear voice, but see no man.

Must be spirit.

Evil spirit?

Bingo!

Spirit Bingo?

Never hear of this spirit.

Speak to us, o great Spirit Bingo!

Now hear-um this.

There can be peace with the Pilgrims.

How? Tell us how, Great Spirit.

Send a brave with seeds.

Teach them how to plant corn.

Spirit Bingo now signing off.

Good idea, but dangerous mission.

What, what brave can we spare?

Chicken Heart!

Chicken Heart?

Yes, Princess?

My father, the Chief, wishes to speak with you.

Why me, Chief Thundercloud?

Because you are brave.

Oh, no, me not brave. Me Chicken Heart.

My father Yellow Tail, my grandfather White Feather,

my great grandfather Jelly Spine.

Me come from long line of cowards.

Thundercloud has spoken. You have been chosen!

Well, let's not be hasty, Chief.

Why not get all braves here and then choose, huh?

Uh, short straw go? Flip-um card?

Low card?

Too much gab. Get-um show on road!

Who speaks?

Great spirit Bingo.

Me never hear of him. Must be out of town spirit.

Pick some other brave.

Uh, that did it. Me volunteer.

[Ed, narrating] And so the chicken Indian,

whbBo by now I know you recognize,

went nervously on his mission.

[turkeys gobbling]

Oh. Bears!

Must get back to village.

Don't be chicken, Chicken Heart.

Who speak?

Me, Chicken.

Who you?

Where you?

Here, chick, chick, chick.

Here, chick!

You talk, horse.

Go to head of teepee.

How can horse talk?

Night school.

Night school?

Ask foolish question, get foolish answer.

Horse talk to all men?

No, only to you.

I, I like you, Chicken Heart.

I like you, too, horse that talk like man.

Dear boy.

Why? Why they choose me for this dangerous mission?

Because by helping the Pilgrims,

you will go down in history,

and I'll get a little footnote myself.

You come on mission with me?

Flap your wings, Chicken, and hop on my back.

From now on, we're a team.

Oh, thank you, horse. Thank you.

Hold still, horse.

[Wilbur and Ed grunting]

All right, horse.

You got your laugh, Chickie.

Now, turn around and let's get going.

All right, horse.

Meanwhile, back at the Pilgrims' settlement.

[murmuring]

We should have done this long ago!

[murmuring]

How dare you putteth your governor in this position.

Methinks this is an excellent position.

Huh?

What dost thou, woman?

I have need for a few shillings.

There's a sale on spinning wheels in town.

[coins clinking]

I'm Indian!

Our scouts have captured an Indian!

Please, you're cracking my beads.

He was attacking our village on horseback.

Oh, paleface speak with twisted tongue.

I bring a gift of friendship from my people,

a bag of corn seed.

Beware the Indian! He lies.

Release me, so I can deal with this heathen.

Release our governor.

[murmuring]

We must force this Indian

to reveal their secret for planting corn.

That's why I've come here.

There's only one way with Indians-- torture!

[shouting]

Otherwise, they do not talk.

See, you just take a handful of seed.

We'll put him in the stocks.

[shouting]

And you sprinkle them 6 inches apart.

I say put him in the thumb screws.

Aye, that will loosen his tongue.

[shouting]

Then you mulch carefully. Just add a little water.

Not too much now.

Let us put him to the stretching rack.

Aye, that will break his defiant silence.

[shouting]

See, too much water, you'll drown the seeds.

Silence! Let that chicken Indian talk.

Well said, Smythe.

This is your last chance. Do you understand?

Tell 'em how Indian plant-um corn,

or we plant-um Indian.

Okay, you drive hard bargain.

I knew I'd drag it out of him.

[laughter]

And so the team of brave horse and chicken Indian

made the harvest possible.

[murmuring]

Please, silence.

To peace and goodwill between our people.

[shouting]

Peace and goodwill.

[glass breaking]

Ah, just my luck.

I picked the original Indian nut.

Thanks to our Indian friend, Chicken Liver,

who has provided the answer to our problem,

we are blessed with the bounties of nature.

[cheering]

And as your governor,

I hereby proclaim this a national holiday.

- Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.

What shall we call this holiday, husband?

Well, wife, today is a day for giving thanks.

[murmuring]

How about "You'hFre Welcome" day.

[murmuring, laughter]

No.

How about "Thanks Day"?

How about "Giving Day"?

- [crowd shouting] - Ehh.

I have answer!

"Thanks Day" very good. "Giving Day" very good.

Put them both together

and call holiday Appreciation Day.

[laughter]

Groundhog Day?

Navy Day?

We just had Halloween.

How about Thanksgiving Day?

[cheering]

Thanksgiving Day, a wonderful suggestion!

Whose idea was that?

My horse.

Uh-oh.

Your horse?

Horse talk.

He's a witch!

A witch!

[murmuring]

Happy Thanksgiving, Chicken Heart.

What to be happy about?

Well, at least we're spending the holiday together.

[laughter]

And so that's how a horse made Thanksgiving possible.

Ed, you have told some tall tales,

but this one beats them all.

You don't believe it?

Not a word.

[chuckling]

But, Ed, if it means so much to you,

I promise you we'll spend Thanksgiving together.

Thanks, Wilbur!

Oh, just call me Chicken.

[Ed laughs]

- [Kay] Wonderful. - [Roger] Wonderful turkey.

[Kay] I wish I could learn. Oh, I'm just terrible.

- Perfect. - Like a turkey murder.

Excuse me. Oh, thank you, Eve.

Wilbur, I think catering the dinner

was a wonderful compromise.

Well, the important thing is

we're having a home-cooked dinner.

What difference does it make whose home it was cooked in?

- Right. - Right.

The last home-cooked dinner I had

was at my mother's the day before I got married.

You married me for my beauty, doll,

not my pot roast.

Well, let's not have any bickering, shall we?

This is Thanksgiving.

I think we should be grateful for everything we have

and the fact that we're together with our loved ones.

Ah, hear, hear. That's nice.

- Oh! - Can I have some more peas?

- I want everything. - Seconds, Kay?

Fill them up to there. Later, please.

Seconds, Carol?

Not right now, honey.

Fifths, Rog?

[laughter]

You help yourself.

Oh, thanks, thanks.

Oh, boy.

Uh, anybody-- would you like something?

Be sure and save us some, that's all, Rog.

Just save us a drumstick, dear.

- Excuse me. - Don't worry, I will.

Oh, they're delicious.

This is a wonderful turkey, Carol.

Just wonderful.

Happy Thanksgiving, family.

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪

♪ And waste your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man] This has been a Filmways presentation.