Original subtitles

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Ahem.

My birthday. I hope Wilbur remembers.

Yeah, 9 years old, and not a wrinkle.

Heh heh heh. You handsome devil.

- [laughing] - [door closes]

Good morning, Ed.

Good morning, buddy-boy, buddy-buddy, buddy.

What are you feeling so chipper about today?

I always feel chipper this day of the year.

Well, what's special about today?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

It's the 28th.

The 28th.

Mm-hmm.

Of course, that's an anniversary.

Atta boy.

Sadie Hawkins Day.

No, Wilbur, it's got to do with a certain animal.

A certain animal, huh?

Yeah.

How could I forget? It's Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Day, gee.

- Groundhog Day! - [knock on door]

Mister Ed?

Uh, no. Come in.

He's in there.

In there?

Yeah, go ahead and sing.

Ahem!

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jo-- ♪

Well, where's Mister Ed?

That's him.

A horse? I've been singing to a horse?

- It's his birthday. - Birthday?

Would you mind finishing the song, please?

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

[humming]

Here's a couple of bucks for you.

Well, ah, thanks, mister.

Yes, you're-- you're quite welcome.

Thank you very much.

And let me know when your dog has a birthday.

And Happy Birthday, horsey.

Well, Ed, did I remember your birthday?

Yeah, but you forgot my gift.

Oh, you're a tough customer.

What do you buy for a horse who has everything?

Well, I just happened to have a catalogue.

Start looking.

[Carol] Wilbur!

Oh, honey, will you help me pick out an outfit

for my club's garden luncheon today?

Uh-huh.

How do you like it?

Mm, it's gorgeous.

Oh no, the girls have seen me in this.

Oh, I think this will do more for me.

Don't you think?

Fabulous.

Do you think this cape is becoming on me?

It's sensational.

How about this hat?

Hmm, that's cunning.

Wilbur!

Oh, I don't know, Carol.

Aren't those French designers getting a little bit radical?

Oh, you're a big help.

I'm sorry, dear. I'm working on a problem here.

Oh, well, maybe I can help you.

Well, I don't want to bother you.

Oh, it's no bother.

After all, what are wives for?

Now come on, tell me what's on your mind.

Well, I'm getting a little gift for Ed.

Ed?

Yeah, well, I mean, after all, it's his birthday,

and he's like a member of the family

and I thought the least we can do

is get him some little gift.

Fine. Let's get him a little sailor suit and a whistle.

A sailor suit.

You got a great sense of hu--

Sailor suit?

Nah, that's ridiculous.

[Kay] Carol, anybody home?

Yes.

I am, but I don't know about Wilbur.

Sweetie, Mildred Webster just called.

We can't have the club luncheon in her garden.

Her child came down with chicken pox.

Oh, that's too bad. I hope he's all right.

Mm-hmm. Mildred hinted for me

to have the club luncheon in my backyard,

but you know how Addison worries

about his precious dichondra.

I know.

You know, most husbands

carry a picture of their wife in their wallet.

He's got a picture of his lawn.

You know, Kay, you're always teasing Roger

about his gardening.

Maybe if you showed a little interest in his hobby,

he'd be more cooperative.

You could be right. Who knows?

Maybe the way to my husband's heart

is through his rake hand.

There'll be no free lunches around here.

Doll, it looks simply--

Kay! You're bruising my dichondra.

I'm sorry, angel.

I just wanted to tell you how lovely the yard looks.

My dear, you astonish me.

I had no idea you were interested

in anything green but money.

I never dreamed that our backyard would look so beautiful.

I'm really proud of you, doll.

Well, it's gratifying to know that my long,

weary months of mulching have finally paid off.

I've told all my friends about the miracles

that you've accomplished in our backyard.

Thank you, my dear.

And they're all dying to see it.

How nice.

Say, I have an idea.

Why don't I invite my club over today?

I have a better idea.

Why not invite a herd of elephants over?

By the time they get through, my lawn will look like

Fort Apache after the Indian raid.

Addison, be reasonable.

We were supposed to have the luncheon

in Mildred Webster's garden,

but her child came down with chicken pox.

Chicken pox?

Well, that shouldn't bother 30 old hens.

I'm the only girl in the club

who hasn't had a meeting in her backyard.

Some of them don't even believe I'm married.

Why not let that be our little secret?

Please, Addison,

I'll bet Wilbur wouldn't turn Carol down

if she wanted to use their yard.

No?

I'll bet not even Wilbur Post is that foolish.

Well, of course I'd let her if she asked me, Rog.

He is that foolish.

Then it's settled. We can use our yard?

No, but since Wilbur made the grand gesture,

why, we'll accommodate him and use his place.

I have no objection, Carol.

Oh, thanks, honey. Come on, Kay.

We'd better call Mildred and the girls.

Thanks, Wilbur, you're a doll.

And you're you.

She didn't mean to call you that, Rog.

You know what's the matter with you?

You're afraid to say no to Carol.

Your wife leads you around

as if you were wearing blinkers.

Blinkers! That's it, I'll buy him blinkers!

Strange man.

That oughta do it.

Ed?

Yeah?

Ed, I've decided what to get you for your birthday,

a set of blinkers.

What?

You want to hide my beautiful brown eyes?

I don't know what to get you.

Don't worry, Wilbur boy, I figured out what I want.

You have? What?

A birthday party.

A birthday party?

Mm-hmm.

You know, that's a pretty good idea.

A birthday--we could have a lot of fun together,

just you and I.

Make it seven, Wilbur. I've drawn up a guest list.

Come and see.

Princess, Domino, Flossie--

these are all the horses from the Tally Ho Stable, huh?

Yeah, they're real swingers.

Well, okay, Ed, it's your party.

I'll take you over to the Tally Ho Stables,

and you'll really enjoy yourself.

Whoa, easy there, boy.

What's the matter?

Well, I want my party here.

Oh, come on, Ed. Be sensible.

I can't throw a party for a whole bunch of horses

where people might see me.

Why not?

They'd look at me like I was some kind of kook.

Well, look back like you're not.

Ed, be fair.

Oh, wait a minute, we can't have the party here anyway.

Carol's club women are coming over.

Well, send them to the Tally Ho Stables.

Now, Ed, stop that.

If there's anything I can't stand,

it's a whining horse.

Now you can't have the party here,

and that's final, do you understand?

Holler, but don't hit.

[Carol] Wilbur?

Coming, honey!

Yells at me like I'm his wife.

Honey, do me a favor

and pick up these things for my club luncheon.

All right.

"Fairchild Party Rental-- 20 chairs and five tables.

"Chilser's Market, 3 pounds of ham,

2 pounds roast beef, assorted cheeses," is that?

That's right.

"Four large cartons of potato salad, coleslaw."

With all this stuff, the girls won't need trays,

they'll need caddies.

I'll get it.

Yes, Mr. Post, we'll have the equipment delivered by 12:30.

Thank you, Mr. Fairchild, we'd certainly appreciate it.

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Certainly.

Hello?

Hello?

Mr. Post? Yes, he's here. Just a moment.

It's for you, Mr. Post.

Oh, thank you.

I don't know who could be calling.

I wasn't expecting-- thank you.

Hello.

Why can't I have my birthday party in our yard?

Ed, I'm in a hurry.

I've got to get over to the market.

Now, will you please get off my back?

If we don't have that party, you'll never get on mine.

Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?

If the horseshoe fits, wear it.

Look, Ed, why don't you settle

for that nice pair of blinkers for your birthday?

I'll talk to you about it when I get back.

I may not be here. I may run away from home.

Look, you try that, and I'll tie your tail to a tree.

He's very--

I told you why--

because there'd be too many people around to see us.

A friend of mine.

I gotta get rid of those people.

Hey, why not?

Heh heh heh, if this works, I'll have my party.

Oh, ho ho ho, how can anybody be only 9 years old

and that smart?

Why, yes, Mr. Yamaguchi.

I'd be delighted to address your horticultural society.

Well, if I left here now,

I could be in Riverside in an hour.

Oh, yes, yes, I have the street number.

And Mr. Yamaguchi, I'm rather curious,

how did you hear about my work in dichondra?

Well, that was very nice of Mr. Yoshida.

Yes, I've done business with his nursery for years.

Yes.

Well, I'm looking forward to meeting you, Mr. Yamaguchi.

[fake Japanese accent] Ah so, ah so.

Rikewise, Mr. Addison.

Heh heh heh heh heh heh. One more phone call,

and the coast'll be clear for my party.

[phone ringing]

Hello. Oh, hello, Mr. Webster.

Well, thank you.

My husband and I are looking forward to meeting you, too.

How is your little boy?

Oh, it was not chicken pox?

No, just a rash.

The little tyke ate six boxes of strawberries.

Oh, I'm so relieved to hear that.

May I speak with Mildred?

Well, she's in the tub. It's Saturday, you know?

Oh, but it's silly of Mildred to bother with the luncheon.

I've already told the girls to come here.

Well, all right, if she insists.

I'll phone the girls

and tell them that the meeting is back at your home.

Bye.

Oh, Wilbur, I'm sorry. I'm in a rush.

Kay's line is busy,

and I have to tell her about our change in plans.

We're meeting at Mildred Webster's after all.

And, oh, honey, would you please call Fairchild Rentals

and cancel the tables and chairs?

She has enough.

Hello, honey.

Call Fairchild.

[Ed] Yeah, Mr. Post will call for the horses

in about 20 minutes.

Now, are you sure you have the list right?

Princess, Domino, Flossie, Joy Boy and--

Well--

Hey, what is this about picking up horses?

Great news, Wilbur, my birthday party's on.

Since when?

Well, Addison is on his way to Riverside,

and the girls are meeting at Mildred Webster's.

Hee hee hee hee.

I don't know, Ed, it's kind of risky.

I mean, somebody may pop in.

I mean, I'd feel so foolish, a party for a bunch of horses?

You promised.

I know, but couldn't we have the party at the stable?

You shouldn't break a promise to a poor, dumb animal.

Ed, oh, come on, don't cry, Ed.

[wailing]

Oh, Ed, all right. You can have the party here.

Oh, thank you, Wilbur.

Let's see, I'll have to call Fairchild's Rental

and cancel the chairs.

No, Wilbur, I'll call them.

You go get my guests, hmm?

Okay.

You're not sore at me?

No, Ed. Gosh, if I had a son,

I'd want him to be just like you.

Ho ho ho ho ho.

[sigh] What a horse has to go through

to get a birthday party.

[Carol] Oh, Wilbur!

Oh, are you all right?

Oh...oh...

Oh, boy.

You know, in your hands, a door is a dangerous weapon.

- Oh, darling, did I hurt you? - Oh, no, I'm okay.

But from now on, I'm going in and out through the window.

I'm so sorry.

I was in such a rush because of the luncheon.

Yeah, well, I'll see you later, honey.

I've gotta go.

Look, you-- you stay as long as you want, even longer.

Where are you going, Wilbur?

Well, I've got to pick up a few things for Ed.

Well, let's get started.

It's a good 45-miçnute drive to Mildred Webster's.

Did you call all the girls?

I've dialed so much today, I've got a cauliflower finger.

Come on. Let's take my car.

No, let's use mine. I can't stand a woman driver.

What took you so long, Wilbur?

Come on, Ed, your guests are waiting.

Gee, Wilbur, just think, my first party.

Come on, birthday boy.

Ha ha ha!

Wait. Could you blindfold me?

Blindfold you?

I'd like it to be a surprise party.

Come on, Ed, before somebody walks in on us.

If they do, they'd better bring gifts.

Oh.

Here we are.

Gee, oh, ho ho ho.

Yeah.

Oh, Wilbur.

[horses whinnying and neighing]

There's Domino.

He's getting so heavy his tail is drooping.

Joy Boy, it figured he'd show up.

He's a real freeloader.

Uh, Flossie, there's a real swinger.

Ed, how do you like it?

Get your handkerchief, Wilbur.

I may start bawling.

Look here, the party hats are my idea, Ed.

Here.

Oh, it's beautiful, Wilbur, just beautiful.

Oh, come on. Here, slip this on, Ed.

There we go. Oh, lovely.

How about yours, Wilbur?

Oh, okay, this is for me.

How do I look?

Just great.

We may make you an honorary horse.

Well, fella, why don't we mingle with your guests.

[horses whinny and neigh]

What did he say?

He said we've got a nice place here.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me. We have to mingle.

Wilbur, this is Princess.

Gorgeous chick, huh?

If she can cook, Ed, don't let her go.

Yeah. [laughing]

Ed, what did you say to her?

I told her to stick around after the party, hee hee hee.

I haven't met these two friends here, Ed.

Hey, by the way, how do you like the buffet I set up?

Hay, oats, barley, carrots.

Swell, Wilbur,

and thanks for remembering the place cards.

Oh, it's all right.

Look, Ed, be a good host.

Ask Frenchie if he's having a good time.

All right.

[horse neighing]

Frenchie wants to know

when we're gonna start to play post office.

He's a character.

You know, this whole thing is silly,

but I'm enjoying it.

I'm glad Carol isn't here to see this.

What are you girls doing here?

We're here for the luncheon.

My boy has chicken pox.

He has? But your husband called

and said it was just a rash.

My husband? Well, Ralph's in New York.

Why would he call you when he hasn't even called me?

Then who was on the phone and said he was your husband?

I'll bet it was Hazel Selkirk,

who wasn't invited to the luncheon.

She has a low voice, and even lower sense of humor.

Ladies, ladies, where do you want me

to put these tables and chairs?

There must be a mistake.

Oh, dear.

Would you please take them to my house?

I'm Mrs. Post. You know our address.

Oh, yes, of course, Mrs. Post, certainly.

Flossie's the closest so far.

Your turn, Ed.

Yeah.

Whoop, I dropped my tail.

[Wilbur] Now, we'll bob for apples.

Hey, Ed, you're supposed to bob for the apples,

not eat them.

Let the kids enjoy themselves.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ for he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ which nobody can deny ♪

There you are, Ed.

Okay, now, make a wish.

Blow out the candle.

[loud snort]

What are you doing here?

Oh, this is ridiculous!

[women chattering]

[Carol] Wilbur!

Wilbur, what's going on here?

Uh, I-- I can explain.

You see, what happened, you know it's Ed's birthday

and, well, I wasn't going to throw

a birthday party for him, believe me.

You see, horses have feelings just like people.

You ladies understand?

Kay, you understand, Kay,

because you know how I feel about Ed,

and you see, horses can sense what you're doing,

you know what I mean?

Carol, honey, I know how ridiculous this seems.

But you gotta see my side of it.

I mean, if I can't discuss it with my wife,

who can I discuss it with?

Just--

Well, I thought they'd never leave.

Let's get back to my birthday cake, huh,

and the party?

Hi, Wilbur.

Uh, uh, is Carol talking to you yet?

Well, she just smiled at me, so there's hope.

But that was a terrible trick you played,

switching that luncheon to Mildred's house.

Don't be sore at me, Wilbur.

I'm only a 9-year-old kid.

Well, 9 years old in a horse

is equal to 60 in a human being!

Then stop yelling at an old man!

Oh, you.

♪ A horse is a horse, p? of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪

♪ And waste your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man] This has been a Filmways presentation.