All language subtitles for Im.All.Right.Jack.1959.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

(Snores)

(ThundercIap)

(Whispers) Sir John!

- Sir John!
- What is it?

The war, Sir John. It's over.

Over! Oh, yes!

At Iast.
Just Iisten to them out there.

Yes. That's another one
we've come through, Owens.

That's right, Sir John.
They can't finish us off, can they?

- Owens!
- Yes, sir?

CIose that window, wiII you?
It's become damn chiIIy in here.

Yes, Sir John.

(Narrator) 'Look hard...

'For this is the Iast
we shaII see of Sir John,

'a Justice of the Peace,

'Chairman of the
Wroughton Unionist Association,

'Vice President
of his IocaI British Legion,

'Honorary Chairman
of the RegionaI Board

'for the Adjustment
of Distressed GentIewomen

'and sIeeping partner
in that vast financiaI compIex,

'the City and ThreadneedIe Trust.

'Yes, there goes Sir John,

'a soIid bIock in the edifice
of what seemed

'to be an ordered and stabIe society.

'There he goes,

'on his way out.

(Cheering)

'For with victory

'came a new age.

'And with that new age a new spirit.'

(Laughs)

♪ I'm aII right, Jack, I'm OK

♪ That is the message for today

♪ So count up your IoIIy,
feather your nest

♪ Let someone eIse worry, boy,
I couIdn't care Iess

♪ If you scratch my back,
I'II do the same for you, Jack

♪ That's the message for today

♪ Yeah, the workers and the bosses,
a sweet duet

♪ Share the gains or the Iosses,
you bet

♪ WeII, everybody's comrades now

♪ Like Cain and AbeI,
we're aII brothers, and how!

♪ If there's any fiddIe,
get in, in the middIe

♪ Snatch your whack, Jack,
whiIe you may

♪ WeII, we aII puII together,
but not too fast

♪ Got to heIp the other feIIer
make the job Iast

♪ We trust one another,
just Iike Big Brother

♪ BIow you, Jack, I'm aII right

♪ Hey! We're going to make it in history

♪ It's the bravest new worId
that you ever did see

♪ Knock the time-and-a-haIf off,
watch out for the buII

♪ Be first for the carve-up,
be nobody's fooI

♪ They taIk about Utopia,
don't Iet 'em soft-soap yer!

♪ Just grab your whack, brother,
hoId on tight

♪ Oh, bIow you, Jack!

♪ I'm aII right ♪

(Cock crowing, birdsong)

(Narrator) 'Britain in the earIy fifties.

'A nation facing
the chaIIenge of survivaI.

'In a competitive worId,

'after a war in which her weaIth
and manpower had been stripped

'to the very bone.

'The story of one man's response
to this chaIIenge

'is aIso the story of a nation.

'This is the story of one man.

(Young man)
Times have changed, Father.

In industry nowadays
they're crying out for peopIe Iike me.

In my days, the university man
went into one of the Iearned professions,

if he had any brains. If he hadn't,
it was either the Church or the army.

I tried the army, Father.

- Did you?
- Oh, yes, of course you did.

(Woman) I say. Mr Windrush.

I'm terribIy sorry, Mr Windrush,

but one of our baIIs
is just near the tabIe.

CouId we have it, pIease?

Oh, yes. That's aII right, yes.

StanIey, get it for her, wiII you?

(Woman) Oh, pIease, don't throw it.

I'm a frightfuIIy bad catch.

It's the major's fauIt.

- He's got such a terribIy strong service.
- Oh!

- Thanks most awfuIIy.
- AII right.

(Women titter)

Heavens, Father... is that
a sampIe of the IocaI taIent?

TaIent?
Oh, that's our Miss Forsdyke.

Not a naturaI bIonde, of course.

- Thirty-Iove.
- (Son) No...

WeII, I suppose you're used to Iiving here,
but I know I shouId find it most unnerving.

Nonsense, StanIey!
It's simpIy a question of attitude.

Here we're down to fundamentaIs.

I wouIdn't disagree with that, Father.

Dignity and privacy, StanIey,
onIy exist nowadays in a pIace Iike this.

Not on the tennis courts, Father.

- You staying to Iunch?
- Erm... no, I don't think I wiII.

I've got to be at the University
Appointments Board this afternoon.

I stiII don't understand
why anybody brought up as a gentIeman

shouId choose to go into industry.

WeII, of course,
I shaII be an executive.

- Decided where you're going to Iive?
- That rather depends.

I'm staying with Aunt DoIIy
at the moment.

Aunt DoIIy?
Why, your UncIe Bertie's mother.

Is she stiII aIive?

- WeII, she was this morning.
- ReaIIy?

- (Miss Forsdyke) Yoo-hoo, Mr Windrush.
- (Titters)

We've quite worn the major out,
Mr Windrush.

Do you think we couId tempt
your son to join us for a game?

Oh... no, I'm afraid not.
TerribIy sorry!

Father, I reaIIy must be going. I'II, erm...

I'II Iet you know how I get on
at the interview.

- (BeII toIIs)
- (Man) There's no doubt about it.

Industry today offers a young man
tremendous opportunities,

provided he has three things:

confidence,
inteIIigence, and enthusiasm.

Now, what particuIar industry
had you in mind?

WeII, I was thinking of
something not too heavy, sir.

Not too heavy?

WeII, not, for exampIe a thumping
great business Iike iron and steeI.

I see. Light industry, eh?

And preferabIy near London

with earIy cIosing.

With what?

WeII, I thought perhaps
one afternoon a week.

You do expect to work, I suppose?

Oh, good Lord, yes, sir.
I'm not afraid of hard work.

Given the opportunity,
I'm confident I shaII get to the top.

Oh...

WeII, I hope you're right.

WeII, I'II arrange
some appointments for you

and send you a Iist of peopIe
you can go and see.

- I hope you have some Iuck.
- Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, Windrush! Don't forget...

InteIIigence, enthusiasm,
and an air of confidence.

Above aII, an air of confidence.

I won't, sir.

(Man) 'Industry! With tremendous
opportunities for the young man.

'Industry, spurred
by the march of science

'in aII directions,

'was working at high pressure

'to suppIy those vitaI needs

'for which the peopIe
had hungered for so Iong.'

♪ Detto doubIes the bubbIes

♪ Detto haIves aII your troubIes

♪ D-E-T-T-O

♪That's Detto, better for you

♪ Detto! ♪

And we need chaps Iike you
with a higher education

to enabIe us, once we've trained you,

to hoId our pIace as one of the great
detergent-producing nations of the worId.

Now, before I take you
and show you around the factory,

are there any questions
you'd Iike to ask me?

You aIso make Frisko, which costs Iess.

What's the difference
between that and Detto, sir?

BasicaIIy none.
It's a question of packaging.

Detto, as you see,
has the Iarger carton,

but they contain identicaI quantities.

Detto is aimed at the young housewife.

It might interest you to know, sir,

that I have a great aunt
who tried Frisko once,

and she came out
in an appaIIing rash.

Is that so?

It may interest you to know
that my babies' napkins

have aIways been washed in Frisko

and that no chiId has shown
a sign of a spot since birth.

Oh!

Of course,
my aunt's rash was on her arm.

(Coughing)

Next question?

What is the manufacturing cost, sir?

Now, that's a very good question.
I'm gIad you asked that.

The actuaI cost of the contents
of these two packets

does not exceed
three tenths of a penny.

The retaiI price...

eIeven pence...
ten pence ha'penny!

Now, what does that indicate?

A whacking great profit.

To market a commodity
it is necessary to expIoit.

And that costs money.

CurrentIy we are giving away
a set of eIectropIated teaspoons

with every four packets
of Detto purchased.

Excuse me, sir...

but has the firm considered
the aIternative?

What aIternative?

It just occurred to me, sir.

SeII the teaspoons
and give away the Detto.

TeII me,
what is your name?

Windrush, sir.

Windrush!

WeII, Mr Windrush,

with your approach
I see not onIy no future for you,

but no future for us.

You'd better go, Mr Windrush.

You are not the detergent type.

♪ Num-Yum's the best, bar none

♪ So of course we say "Num-Yum"

♪ Num-Yum is scrumptious
and it's so nutritious

♪ Num-Yum

♪ Num-Yum is fruit and fun

♪ Num-Yum's the best, bar none

♪ Because it's soft and miIky
and deIicious! Num-Yum! ♪

This is Mr Windrush, Hooper.

He's come to see us about
an executive trainee appointment.

Now, take him round.
Show him the whoIe process.

I'II come back Iater.

Thank you very much, sir.

- Morning.
- Morning.

Here, try one.

- Oh, that's very kind of you, sir.
- Not at aII.

Thank you very much.

- Do you Iike it?
- Mm...?

It's our new summer formuIa.

- Fascinating. What's in it?
- (KIaxon)

- Eh?
- What's in it?

Ah, come on, I'II show you.

And now, then, this is the first stage
of the mixing process.

You see, each pipe up there

gives the intermittent one-minute
discharge of the basic ingredients

into a rotating barreI inside here.
Go on, eat it up.

That's right. You see,
the timing of the flow

determines the quantities,
as per formuIa.

Now then, every four minutes,

a pressure-operated reIief vaIve

discharges the mixture out of here
into this duct

- on its way to the next stage.
- (Machine triIIs)

Ah, there she goes.

Come on, taste it.

Go on, it's quite cooI.

- Good?
- Mm...

OK, aII right, foIIow me.

Now, here we have
the cooIing and bIowing tunneI.

You see, airjets cooI the mixture
to the required consistency,

- simuItaneousIy bIowing it up...
- (Whirring drowns out speech)

(Whirring intensifies)

Now, then, you taste this.

Haven't you finished it yet?
You are a sIowcoach. Come on!

That's aII right, have the Iot.
Go on, swiII it down.

(Machine groans)

You see, it's aII meIIow, isn't it?

Yes, aII right, come on, over here.

(Woman sneezes)

Here the mixture has soIidified...

Not here, Miss Hackney!
PIease, dear!

Here, try a bit.

Now...

Now, this machine,
as you see, stamps out

a two-and-a-haIf-ounce uncoated bIock.
Here, tuck in.

Each machine
cuts 48,000 bIocks a day...

You're not eating.
Go on, enjoy yourseIf.

...at the rate of
approximateIy 2,000 an hour.

Now, from here, we go down here.

And, this is the enrobing chamber,

where the bIocks are coated with icing,
of course, and decorated.

(Machinery cIanks and whirrs)

This is my favourite machine.

I say...
Is there anything wrong, oId man?

(StanIey) Oh. My hat!

Pretty overwheIming, isn't it?

Come on, round the other side.

And here we have the coated bIocks -
soft, miIky, deIicious.

AII ready for stamping
with a waInut and a cherry.

Now aII that remains is to wrap 'em,
pack 'em, despatch 'em.

There we are.

Seen everything, my boy?

Course, it isn't easy to digest,
aII in one go, you know.

(BeII rings)

- (Man on phone) 'He's turned out to be...'
- Look I...

'...some adoIescent, stupid moron...

'Are you sure he was at Oxford?'

I can onIy say I'm sorry.

'I ought to teII you that he created
a damned bad impression upon my staff...'

(Buzzing)

Look, I can't do more
than apoIogise now, can I?

- '...aII I know...
- (BeII toIIs)

'...Iike that. WeII, for God's sake,
don't get me a maniac...'

WeII, I'm sorry. I'm extremeIy sorry,
but goodbye!

It's that feIIow Windrush again.

Take this Ietter,
Miss Harvey, wouId you?

Dear Windrush,

your appointment
yesterday with Mr BartIett,

Managing Director
of the British Corset Company,

brackets,

Foundation of the Nation,

cIose brackets, Limited,

was the eIeventh granted you
in the past ten days.

'In view of the singuIar Iack of
appreciation you have encountered,

'I am Ied seriousIy to doubt
whether you and industry are compatibIe.

'Yours faithfuIIy...'

Your UncIe Bertram and a gentIeman
have caIIed to see you, Master StanIey.

They're having tea with your Aunt DoIIy
in the drawing room.

Thank you, Spencer.

Here's your tea, my pretties.

Ah, here is StanIey.

- HeIIo, Aunt DoIIy.
- HeIIo, darIing.

- HeIIo, young feIIow.
- HeIIo, UncIe.

I don't think
you know Mr De Vere Cox.

Oh yes, he does, Lady Dorothy.

We was comrades-in-arms together
during the Iast war.

Coxie! Good graciousness me!
What on earth are you doing here?

He's a business friend of your uncIe's.

Matter of fact, we've come
to do you a bit of good, Stan.

Oh, reaIIy?

May I give you
another cup of tea, Mr Cox?

Oh, thank you, miIady.

Mother teIIs me
you want to go into industry.

That's right, UncIe.
They're crying out for peopIe,

but... oh, weII,
it doesn't seem very easy to get in.

Hmm...

WeII, StanIey, I happen to be a director
of quite an important engineering firm.

MissiIes.

How wouId you Iike to join us?

Oh, that'd be wonderfuI, UncIe.

WeII, of course it wouId, StanIey.
And this is the right time, too.

Your uncIe's firm is just about
to Iand a big arms contract.

ActuaIIy, it was Coxie's idea
that I shouId take you on.

Oh, thank you very much, Coxie.

WeII... what wouId I have to do?

WeII, I expect you'II just supervise, dear.

After aII, you were at Oxford.

The first thing to do is to appIy
to the IocaI Iabour exchange.

- Labour exchange?
- (Cox) That's right!

I... I did suggest
to your UncIe Bertie, StanIey,

that you might, perhaps
go in on the other side.

What other side?

B-become a worker.

- A worker.
- UnskiIIed, of course.

Does Mr Cox seriousIy suggest, Bertie,

that StanIey shouId throw in his Iot
with the working cIasses?

I'm perfectIy serious.

TeII me, StanIey,
on the management side,

what sort of money
wouId you hope to start with?

Oh, about...

eight pounds a week.

WeII, there you are, Lady Dorothy.

I mean, if you were an unskiIIed worker,

you union wouId see
you never got as IittIe as that.

What's more, as a proper worker,
StanIey, you're important.

PoIiticians need your vote,

so they faII over themseIves
trying to make you happy.

Can you imagine our StanIey here,
aII muscIes and sweat?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, dear Iady!

You've got hoId of
the wrong end of the conception.

These days, it's the management
who does aII the, er...

perspiring. (ChuckIes)

I mean, you take
an up-to-date firm Iike MissiIes.

Your UncIe Bertie's given himseIf uIcers
trying to make them more efficient

and teII the men
it means a bigger wage packet.

And you'II be the one
who gets it, StanIey.

I must say, it does sound attractive,
Aunt DoIIy.

I couIdn't bear the thought of you
having to join one of those horrid unions.

WeII, I don't suppose one has to.

- I so hate vioIence.
- Nonsense, Mother!

That sort of thing
doesn't happen nowadays.

WeII, StanIey, what about it, eh?

WeII, UncIe...

wouId I be abIe to work my way up?

Of course. In time.

AII right.

I'II have a go.

Very sensibIe.

Mind you,
don't mention to anyone at the works

that your uncIe's
on the board of directors.

It, er... couId disturb the industriaI peace.

(Narrator) 'The gates had opened
on a brand new age,

'and through them marched the peopIe.

'The bIues of bygone days had faded
into a prospect pink and bright

'as they marched happiIy to their work.

'Beckoned by opportunity,

'the British worker responded with
a new sense of the dignity of Iabour.

'To match his age-oId traditions

'of brotherhood and comradeship.'

(WhistIes)

(Coughing)

- Here you are, KnowIesey.
- Ay.

Here you are, KnowIesey.
A nice IittIe two-shiIIing doubIe for today.

- From Bertie in the machine shop.
- Ta, mate.

Did you do the one
I give you Friday, CharIie?

Get out. I did the horse you give me on
Thursday and it's stiII running.

KnowIes! KnowIes!

Watch it, here comes CrawIey!

KnowIes, come here.

This new man here, KnowIes.
I'm putting him on the trucks with you.

- Give him the Iow-down, wiII you?
- Right, Mr CrawIey.

Come on, you men. Start work!

Come on!

Come on, get cracking. Come on.

That's a nice, er... smooth bit of stuff,
ain't it, squire?

- Got your overaIIs?
- I'm afraid I haven't.

Ooh, you'd better buy some quick,
otherwise you'II have the major after you.

- Major?
- Yeah, OId Itchy, the personneI manager.

What you might caII everybody's auntie.

That's aII right
for the brass at Head Office.

They don't actuaIIy have to deaI
with the workers.

As personneI officer, that's myjob.

God heIp me!

And I can teII you,
they're an absoIute shower.

A positive shower!

But my instructions, Major Hitchcock,
are to carry out a time and motion study

- in every department.
- Whose bright idea was that?

Mr TracepurceI, I suppose.
He engaged me.

- Thank you.
- But sureIy the men must know that I...

Know!

Get this into your head.

They know nothing other than what's
in their pay packet at the end of the week.

We've got chaps here who can break out
into a muck sweat mereIy by standing stiII.

One thing they can't stand
is being stopwatched.

But the soIe purpose
of a time and motion study

is to enabIe the men to work efficientIy,
weII within their naturaI capacity.

Capacity!

My dear feIIow, the onIy capacity
naturaI to these stinkers

is the capacity to dodge the coIumn.

Sorry, oId chap!

Letting off steam Iike that.
Had rather a punishing night, Iast night.

Did a spot of time and motion study
of my own.

Redhead. Rather athIetic.
(ChuckIes)

- Quite!
- WeII, not to worry, oId boy!

I shaII just have to think of a way
for you do your stuff

without these rotters cottoning on.

It won't be easy, though.

The Iast time and motion feIIow we had

tried to pass himseIf off
as one of the workers.

They rumbIed him right away.

Poor chap's stiII in hospitaI.

(ChuckIes)

Up...

down.

- Dead simpIe.
- I must say.

It Iooks a joIIy efficient IittIe job.

It must be great fun driving it.

Yes, weII, aII you've got to worry
about is to remember

to pIug in here at nights,
when you knock off work,

so the batteries are fuIIy charged
when you come in in the morning.

Terrific. It's so simpIe.

The man hours saved
must be coIossaI.

Yes. WeII, we're on
a fixed-bonus system,

so there's no need
to go flogging your guts out.

I dare say, but after aII,

one of these trucks must be abIe
to do the work of a dozen men.

Oh, not haIf, reaIIy, don't you know?

You're, er... dead keen,
ain't you, squire?

CouId you just
run over the thing once again? I...

Dai, we've got another one.
Go on, go and teII 'em.

Good idea, CharIie.

...so when he started shooting off
about efficiency

and doing the work of ten men,
Brother Carter suggested

that I shouId report the matter formaIIy
to the shop steward.

Very commendabIe, Iad.

On a point of order, Brother Chair,

if he is one of them
time and motion bIokes,

we'II have to move quick otherwise he'II
stopwatch the men on the job

and we'II find ourseIves with tighter
scheduIes for the same rate of pay.

ExactIy, brother. ExactIy. But we have to
pIay this thing rather carefuI.

On the one hand, we must be fair
to the man concerned,

yet on the other hand, we don't wish to
raise issues with the management

which wiII reverberate back
to our detriment.

(In unison) Hear, hear!

This Iot's got to be shifted to despatch.
We'II start this end.

Oh. If you don't mind,
I'II start on my own, down here.

- Watch it!
- 'Ere, what's your game?

FrightfuIIy sorry!

- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry...
- 'Ere, who's gonna sort this Iot out?

- You berk!
- Are you potty or something?

- Right, pIay 21 .
- Same here.

Good Iord, man,
what the heII do you think you're doing?

- Shut that bIeeding door!
- Go on! Get off out of it, wiII you?

I do beg your pardon.
I'm new here.

- I shouId bIoody weII think you are.
- Now, you bring those things back here,

and you get back up the other end.
That's where you ought to be.

You berk!

I don't know, they're taking on some
proper charIies nowadays, aren't they?

Eh?

Right, here we go again.

- What are you doing?
- Three!

I say...

The most extraordinary thing.

I moved some crates down there,

and there were some chaps
pIaying cards.

- They were absoIuteIy furious.
- No, weII, I toId you to start this end.

But who are they?

They are what is caIIed redundant.

The management
wanted to sack 'em,

but the works committee said
if they did,

we'd aII come out on strike.

So, they're kept on as checkers.

Ha! But don't expect them
to check anything.

Now, come on, get weaving
and onIy one at a time, mind you.

(♪ Marching music)

- That's him, Mr Kite.
- Eh! You!

You!

What do you think you're doing?

FrightfuIIy sorry.

Afraid I haven't quite got this thing
buttoned up yet.

What's your name?

Windrush!

Oh! Me and my coIIeagues
are the works committee.

How do you do?

WouId you mind
producing your union card?

- I'm afraid I can't.
- Oh!

WeII, you see,
I happen to be staying with an aunt

who has rather strong feeIings
about unions.

She's not the onIy one
with strong feeIings, mate.

- It's not compuIsory, is it?
- No, it's not compuIsory,

OnIy you've got to join, see?

Oh weII, if it's not compuIsory
that's aII right, I'II join.

Have you ever done
this sort ofjob before?

I'm afraid I haven't.

What brought you here, then?

WeII, it aII started
when I was recommended

to take up industriaI management.

IndustriaI management!

AII right, mate, off you get.

- AIf, caII a stoppage of the truck drivers.
- Right.

Brother Carter,
take charge of his truck.

Don't you do nothing
tiII your case has been gone into.

Come on, get off it!

Creep!

My dear feIIow,
we're Iiving in the weIfare state.

I caII it the fareweII state.
The soIdier's fareweII.

Sorry, Major. Just heard there's troubIe
on the way. The shop stewards.

Damn it! There you are, Waters,
what did I teII you?

They're on to you aIready.

These feIIows couId smeII out a time
and motion man in a Iitter of poIecats.

Henry, take Waters outside
and camouflage him. Come on.

(♪ Marching music)

- Is he in?
- Ah, good morning, Mr Kite.

WeII, he's very busy, but I know
he's aIways pIeased to see you.

WiII you come this way?

(CIears throat) The works committee
to see you, Major.

(Major) Oh, come in, take a pew.

Cigarette?

After due deIiberation,
Major Hitchcock,

the works committee
has had to caII a stoppage

in response to our members' wishes.

WeII, what preciseIy is the troubIe?

The members feeI that the agreement

negotiated with respect to
time and motion study

- is being contravened.
- (Major) Oh, that's impossibIe!

You know me. I wouIdn't do anything
behind the backs of the unions.

Then, perhaps, Major Hitchcock,
you can expIain

the presence of this new man.

New man?
But he hasn't started yet.

Hasn't started yet?

Then what's he doing
on a f-f-f-forkIift truck?

- Who?
- (Kite) Windrush.

Wind... That name rings a beII.
Get his particuIars.

Let's be perfectIy frank
with each other, Major.

This man is not a genuine worker.

He's admitted as much.

And in permitting him to drive
one of them trucks,

I wouId say the management
is wiIfuIIy chiropodising

the safety of its empIoyees.

What is more, Major,
he does not hoId a union card.

- Here you are, Major.
- Oh, thank you.

But you're absoIuteIy right.

It's that damned Iabour exchange again.

Henry, this man
must be sacked immediateIy.

WeII now, do you see
what we're up against?

Nowadays they send us anybody.
Just anybody.

I must say, I'm reaIIy gratefuI to you chaps
for drawing this matter to my attention.

I mean, after aII, it is up to the unions
to heIp us keep out the incompetents.

Er... If you do not mind, Major,
we wouId aII Iike to withdraw and consuIt.

- Oh, by aII means, go ahead.
- Thank you.

That was a near one.

I thought they were onto Waters.

What a shower.

I'd better get on to CrawIey
and teII him to pay this man off.

Yes, and at the same time,
give him a rocket

for empIoying the twerp
in the first pIace.

- (Knocking)
- Come in!

(Major) Ah...

My coIIeagues here have instructed me
to put to you one question, Major.

CertainIy, go ahead, my dear feIIow.

Is it, or is it not your intention
to sack this man?

Sack him, of course.

(Murmuring)

I am obIiged to point out, Major,
that if you sack this man,

the company is in breach
of its agreement with the union.

But sureIy,
he's not a union member.

Correct, but, that is mereIy technicaI.

But didn't you say
that he was incompetent

and couIdn't do his job properIy?

We do not and cannot accept the principIe
that incompetence justifies dismissaI.

That is victimisation.

- That's right.
- Hear, hear!

Oh, weII, we... we seem to have been
at cross purposes.

I was under the impression that it was
you chaps who objected to this feIIow.

That was before we was
in fuII possession of the facts.

WeII, in that case
everything's absoIuteIy spIendid,

and the feIIow can stay on.

WeII, I think we can
aII congratuIate ourseIves

on a most productive morning's work.

We haven't had
a stoppage Iike this for ages.

Not since the week before Iast.

I'm terribIy sorry about it.

Ooh, you don't want to be sorry, squire.

It makes a nice IittIe break, don't it?

- What's up now?
- Dinner time. Come on, cock.

BIimey. AII go today, innit?

(TracepurceI) Our chairman,
as you know, is indisposed,

but he has asked me to say
how much MissiIes vaIue

the pIacing with us
of this important arms contract.

Satisfaction that is strengthened
by the knowIedge

that in suppIying your country
with arms,

MissiIes are making their own speciaI
contribution to the peace of the worId.

(In unison) Hear, hear!

On a personaI note,

I wouId Iike to pay tribute
to his ExceIIency, Mr Mohammed here,

whose charm as a dipIomat is
weII matched by his personaI integrity.

Hear! Hear!

The success of these negotiations
is entireIy due to him.

- Thank you, Mr Mohammed.
- Thank you.

- (AppIause)
- You flatter me, Mr TracepurceI.

I am no dipIomat,
I'm a simpIe businessman.

Oh, my dear sir, no.
We're both simpIe businessmen.

Excuse me, sir.
There's a rather urgent caII.

Oh! WiII you excuse me.
A rather urgent caII.

- Of course.
- Thank you.

- Did you enjoy your Iunch?
- Very much, thank you!

Good!

- Yes, the deaI's just been signed.
- (Muffled Iaughter)

Now, Iisten very carefuIIy, Cox.

Leak the story to the papers
right away.

By tomorrow, our shares
wiII have trebIed in vaIue

and we'II start seIIing them off.

By the end of the week, we shouId
have made a very nice tax-free kiIIing.

And then we can go ahead
with the rest of the pIan.

Huh?

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

StanIey's niceIy Iined up.
He started work this morning.

In... IncidentaIIy...

I've been studying His ExceIIency
Mr Mohammed rather cIoseIy.

I think he shouId prove cooperative.

Yes, of course,
the troubIe in the worId today is

that everybody
is out grabbing for himseIf.

But in Britain it's so different.

You pIay the game.

Nice to hear you say that,
Mr Mohammed.

It's a matter
of mutuaI confidence, reaIIy.

And after aII, every man
working for MissiIes knows

that we're aII in the same game together.

That essentiaIIy
we're aII out for the same thing.

Of course, you see, it's entireIy different
in the Soviet Union.

There they are aII working
for the same thing.

It is...
It is a cIassIess society.

Here, you've got to watch 'em.

That is why the workers
have to stand soIid.

Yes, yes, they struck me
as being pretty soIid.

I must say it's very heartening
having you inteIIectuaIs

coming into the working-cIass
movement Iike this.

One has to do something.

True, brother, true.

I see from your particuIars
you was at coIIege in Oxford.

Yes, I was.

- Yes, I was up there meseIf.
- Oh, reaIIy?

Yes, I was
at the BaIIioI Summer SchooI, 1946.

Very good toast and preserves
they give you at teatime,

- as you probabIy know.
- No, I didn't know, actuaIIy.

- WeII, there's your form, brother.
- Why, thank you.

Pop in on your way home
and pay your dues at the branch.

Got far to go, have you?

Erm... Ooh, no,
it takes me about fifty minutes.

I was wondering whether I ought to
try and find rooms nearer the works.

WeII, I might be abIe to heIp you there.

- Oh?
- Mrs Kite takes in occasionaIIy.

Oh... oh, weII,
that's very kind of you, but...

No, no, no.
As a matter of fact, I'd weIcome it.

I enjoy a bit of serious company
and good conversation.

- Pop round and have a Iook at the rooms.
- WeII, erm...

Thank you very much, Mr Kite, but, um...
WeII, perhaps I couId Iet you know.

Ooh...

Er, Dad, teII Mum I'II be in Iate tonight,
wiII you?

Very weII, Cynthia.

You on overtime, are you?

Don't be daft.

Going up West... dancing.

My daughter Cynthia.
Works here, spindIe poIishing.

ReaIIy?

(Titters)

Quite a job.

Erm... that room
you were taIking about just now...

You sure it wouIdn't be any troubIe?

Oh, no, no, StanIey, not a bit of it.

Oh weII, erm... perhaps I couId pop round
and have a Iook at it.

Erm... say tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night.
Yes, capitaI, capitaI.

- Tomorrow night, then.
- Good!

(Kite) Of course,
that's imperiaIism for you.

I mean, you caII the coIoured chap inferior
and what have you got?

- Cheap Iabour.
- (♪ "I'm AII Right, Jack" on gramophone)

That's how the bosses make their profits
whiIe haIf the worId's starving.

Oh, for goodness' sake!
Stop being such a' oId misery!

Here! Eat this!

It's just that I don't Iike to see our cIass
behaving Iike the Gadarene swine.

Here, you watch your Ianguage, Fred Kite,
if you don't mind...

In front of Mr Windrush.
(Laughs nervousIy)

Oh, that girI with that gramophone again.
She'II never stop it.

♪ ...she's my chick, boy
Stand right back, I'm doing fine

♪ I'm aII right, Jack, she's aII mine ♪

(♪ Upbeat jazz intro)

♪ I'm aII right, Jack, I'm doing fine

♪ I've got a sweet doII
and she's mine, aII mine

♪ AII you feIIows keep out,
you'd better stay away

♪ She's my baby now
and that's the way she'II stay... ♪

Yes, here's another good one
to start off.

"CoIIective ChiIdhood
and Factory Manhood".

Oh... sounds fun.

Yes. Very descriptive.

It's aII about how they run factories
in a workers' state.

However, I won't spoiI it for you.

Have you ever been to Russia, Mr Kite?

No, not yet. The one pIace
I'd Iike to go to, though.

AII them cornfieIds
and baIIet in the evening.

I wish I knew as much about it
as you do.

Er... you haven't read
any of Lenin's work, have you?

Erm... no, I'm afraid I haven't.

That wiII open your eyes for you.

Is he stiII on about Russia?

I'II teII you straight: that's aII
we ever get to hear in this house.

- Have another cup of tea, Mr Windrush.
- Er... no, I won't, thank you very much.

- No!
- Perhaps you'd care to imbibe.

Mother. Where's that
AustraIian burgundy we had?

- Where is it? It's in the...
- No, reaIIy.

- Are you sure?
- AbsoIuteIy certain.

Oh, Cynthia, this is Mr Windrush.

You know, the gentIeman
that's going to take the room.

- Yes, we have met aIready.
- Oh!

- Good evening.
- There's some tea for you.

No, I can't stop.
I'm off now.

WeII, where are you going this evening,
for goodness' sake, then?

- Movies.
- Oh, weII, I've got my car outside.

- Perhaps I couId give you a Iift.
- (Mrs Kite) Oh, weII...

That wouId be kind,
wouIdn't it, Cynthia?

Yes. Ta.

Here, you don't want to go yet,
StanIey, do you?

Erm, weII, I don't, but I reaIIy
ought to be getting aIong now, Mr Kite.

Oh!

- Bye, Mum!
- Bye-bye, dear. Don't be Iate.

- Dad...
- WeII, goodbye. Thank you very much.

No, don't worry, Mrs Kite.
We'II see ourseIves out.

What a IoveIy young feIIow, eh?
Ain't he weII mannered.

And potentiaIIy very inteIIigent.

Oh, yes.
I don't know anything about that.

You know, Mother,
it's a pity Cynthia don't read a bit.

That girI's not properIy deveIoped.

Not properIy deveIoped?
Whatever on earth are you taIking about?

InteIIectuaIIy, I mean.

Oh... Oh, weII, she's young.
She wants a bit of fun.

Yes, and she makes sure she gets it.

You know, I was thinking,
him Iiving here

might make
a very good friend for Cynthia.

After aII, he is a gentIeman.
You can trust his sort.

(Mohammed) PIease expIain.

WeII, Mr Mohammed,
I'm afraid there's a distinct possibiIity

that MissiIes wiII be unabIe
to fuIfiI your contract.

But you're joking. The peace
of the MiddIe East depends on it.

Oh, no, I'm not joking.

Cox, perhaps
you wouId expIain to Mr Mohammed.

WeII, there's an engineering concern
that I happen to own.

I own the shares
and Bertie owns the tax Iosses...

onIy they're not in his name, of course.

WeII, erm...

we don't happen to be very busy
just at the moment.

That is unfortunate, but the contract
is aIready with MissiIes.

Yes, but, then, supposing Bertie's right
and they can't deIiver?

You want a rush job.

WeII, that's where
my IittIe company comes in.

OnIy, of course, it's going to cost
your government a bit more.

(Cox) About 100,000 pounds more.

WeII, that's a nice IittIe sum
to divide between three.

Eeny,

meeny,

- (Horn honks)
- Ah!

I see!

Between simpIe businessmen,
Mr Mohammed, even peace is divisibIe.

But why shouId you have troubIe
at MissiIes?

Oh, a new worker
we've just taken on...

Shocking troubIemaker,
Mr Mohammed.

Never knows when to stop.

(Tweeting)

Stan...

Mm-hm...

Do you mind me asking you something?

Of course not.

Cross your heart?

Cross my heart.

Are them your own teeth?

Are they what?

Are them your own teeth?

WeII, of course they are.

I thought they were somehow.

OnIy you keep them so nice and white,

it just crossed my mind
they might be dentures.

Stan!

Mm-hm...

I'm so gIad you're coming to Iive with us.

(Tweeting intensifies)

(CIanking)

(CaterwauIing)

♪ Num-Yum is fruit and fun

♪ Num-Yum's the best bar none

♪ Because it's soft
and miIky and deIicious

♪ Num-Yum! ♪

(Car horn)

(CIanking)

Come on, squire.
What's the troubIe?

The damned thing won't go.

Oh, you've done it now.

You forgot to pIug in, didn't you?

I saw that Iast night.
And when CharIie saw it, he said...

he said, "There's a bIoke who'II have
a flat battery in the morning," he said.

WeII, if he saw the pIug was out,
why the deviI didn't he put it in?

Demarcation, Stan.

Demarcation?
What the bIazes is demarcation?

Not his job. He mustn't go doing work
that beIongs to other peopIe, must he?

I thought we workers
were aII soIid together.

Squire, you need educating.
He's in a different union.

He's in the AmaIgamated.
We're in the GeneraI.

WeII, what's the point
in having two unions?

BIimey, when was you born?

How wouId we go on for wage cIaims?

The AmaIgamated gets a rise,
so the GeneraI puts in for one.

If the GeneraI gets it, then
the AmaIgamated starts aII over again.

So it goes on, you see, Iike Ieapfrog.

Otherwise we wouIdn't none of us
get a rise, wouId we?

I see...

I hate to mention
a horribIe thing Iike work.

WouId you two mind
getting your trucks out on the job?

Put it back and pIug it in.

Get a spare.

(Typing)

Here's the box you had
put in the recreation room, sir.

AII right, Henry. Leave it there.

Ooh... Very good.

The dirty beast!

Major! I'm sorry,
but I reaIIy cannot go on Iike this.

- Oh, yes?
- Your idea that I shouId keep out of sight

and time these men through binocuIars
is quite impossibIe.

(CackIes)

Waters, Iisten to this.
This is very good.

"Re that prize bIoodhound
with binocuIars which watches us,

"we suggest you don't Iet him
come sniffing round the workshops

"or he might Iose his testimoniaIs.

"Signed, Four Dog Lovers."
(CackIes)

I don't find that particuIarIy amusing.

I say, you ought to see
some of the others. Sheer porno.

StiII, I suppose if it weren't for this box
they'd be writing aII over the waIIs.

(Ringing)

HeIIo. Hitchcock, PersonneI.

Oh, heIIo, sir.

Oh, weII, of course.
Yes, yes. Good show.

Henry, come in here!

What...?

Oh, Ieave that to me, sir.
I'II Iay that on.

Goodbye, sir.

BIast!

Henry. Bit of a flap on.

The deputy chairman's bringing down
that bunch of darkies

we're doing this contract for.

Got to Iay on the usuaI things.

You know, speeches in the canteen
after Iunch,

cIean toweIs,
IittIe bit of soap in the toiIet.

WeII, go on, mush!

- By the way, he wants to see you.
- Who? Me?

Yes, you must report to him
directIy he arrives.

Oh... Right...

I had you sent down here
to do a job, Waters,

and you're simpIy not doing it.

But nobody wiII cooperate, sir,
Ieast of aII Major Hitchcock.

Now Iisten to me, Waters.

If you want cooperation,
get hoId of that new man, Windrush.

He's on the trucks.
He's young, keen, inteIIigent...

and he hasn't been corrupted. Yet.

WeII, sir, I couId start timing
the mechanicaI handIing if you'd Iike that.

Good. WeII, after Iunch,
get down to Despatch.

I've toId CrawIey
to have him working there.

But what about
the works committee?

WeII, as you know, Waters,
I'm addressing the workmen at Iunchtime

and what I have to say is bound
to provoke a works committee meeting.

My guess is they'II be out of the way.

- Very weII, sir. Thank you very much, sir.
- Get on with it.

Very nice, Bertram. Very nice indeed.

Young, keen, and inteIIigent. BIimey!

You'd better hop it now. I don't want
the other directors to see you here.

Right. Look, in that speech of yours,

give 'em pIenty of the oId
"working your fingers to the bone" stuff.

Oh, and don't forget aII that bunk
about export or die.

(TracepurceI) Export or die
is no empty phrase.

If we cannot seII the things we produce,
we cannot buy the things we need.

The resuIt wiII be starvation.

I wonder if there's anyone here
who can put his hand on his heart

and truIy say,

"I am doing my best."

- (Burps)
- (TracepurceI) The greatness of this...

Turn it down, CharIie boy.
There's enough wind inside.

(TracepurceI) ...honesty. Hard work
and a sense of duty.

An ideaI which many, I'm afraid,
have rather Iost sight of.

To ensure this country's heaIthy
trading intercourse with foreign markets,

we must seII at the right price.

What's he on about, Stan?

CommerciaI intercourse
with foreigners.

(TracepurceI) ...any notion of sIackness,

demands greater efficiency
and everyone doing an honest day's work

for a fair day's pay, for a change.

It means that we must be ready
to work with our neighbours,

irrespective of whether
they share our beIiefs

or whether they beIong to another union,
or to another race.

For the success of the firm
is the success of us aII.

(BIows raspberry)

Thank you, Iadies and gentIemen.

And now get back
and buckIe down to yourjobs.

A very exceIIent speech, Mr TracepurceI.

It's so nice for me to see
British democracy in action.

WeII, thank you, my dear feIIow.

JoIIy good speech, I must say.

Creep!

WeII, Hitchcock, I think my speech
shouId have quite an effect, eh?

I shouId be most surprised
if it didn't, sir.

(WhistIing)

- Afternoon!
- Afternoon!

- Are you in charge here?
- No, you want the despatch chargehand.

He shouId be back soon.

He's a shop steward and they've got
a works committee meeting on.

Ah! Ah... Handy IittIe machine
you've got here.

Yes, they're joIIy good, aren't they?

I know you'II think me an awfuI fooI,
but I'm a new boy around here.

Oh, reaIIy?
I haven't been here Iong myseIf.

Oh, yes?
What are you doing exactIy?

WeII, I'm shifting these generators
from the stores to here for Ioading up.

You must find this machine
saves you a Iot of sweat.

Oh, it certainIy does.

Pity it can't take more than one crate
at a time.

- Oh, but it can.
- Oh! ReaIIy?

Oh, yes.

- WouId you Iike me to show you?
- I wouId indeed.

Righty-oh.
Now you stay here.

Mind your Iegs,
the back swings round a bit.

That's the idea.

- There we are!
- My goodness, that was quick.

Oh, not reaIIy. I couId go
much faster than that if I wanted to.

- But not with two, sureIy?
- More than two. Three. Four, if you Iike.

- That's impossibIe.
- AII right, I'II show you.

(WhistIes)

I say... Are you sure I'm not keeping you
from your work?

Oh, no, no, no!

WouIdn't Iike to get you
into troubIe, or anything.

- EspeciaIIy as you're new here.
- Not at aII. I'm Iearning a Iot.

Oh, good!
Right! Watch this!

(WhistIes)

Don't want to get you into troubIe.

Brothers, it means troubIe. You aII
heard what was said in his speech.

- We did, Brother Chair.
- We, did Fred.

I have no hesitation
in categoricaIIy deIineating it

as being barefaced provocative
of the workers.

(In unison) Hear, hear!

On a point of order, Brother Chair,
I wouId say we was Ieft with no option.

ExactIy, brother.

Up to now we've been
bending over backwards

trying to be heIpfuI to the management,
but the cooperation's been aII one-sided.

You're right.
They f-f-f-f-fight us on every issue.

Correct. Now, if I am to ascertain
the sense of this meeting,

from now on no concessions.

Every man in this factory's got
quite enough on his pIate as it is

without having any more piIed on.

There we are. Dead easy.

SpIendid! AbsoIuteIy first rate.

I shaII want them put into effect
immediateIy.

CertainIy, sir.

ActuaIIy, nobody toId me
the shop stewards

- had agreed to the re-timings of the job.
- They haven't.

Oh, weII, sir, with aII due respect,
these figures are absoIuteIy worthIess.

- Why?
- Why? Waters knows as weII as I do

that you must actuaIIy time a man
on the job.

A man was timed.

A man was? How? Who?

Quite an inexperienced operator.

- I'm surprised to hear that.
- New man, sir. Name's Windrush.

Windrush? Oh, Windrush.

Look, sir, I...
I don't want to be a Jeremiah,

but most of these figures
are absoIute science fiction, sir.

There's no fiction
about those figures, Major.

In point of fact, Windrush's rate of work
is much higher.

Yes, but he's a new man.

He hasn't got used to the naturaI rhythm
of the other workers.

What you caII their naturaI rhythm of work
is neither naturaI, rhythmic

or anything very much to do with work.

I agree.

Oh, absoIuteIy, sir.

Right, take 'em away
and get on with it.

This is just the sort of thing I had in mind
when I decided to have you down here.

- Keep it up!
- Thank you, sir. I'II do my best.

Before Iong we'II reaIIy have things
moving in this pIace.

Er...

- SIice of cake?
- What? Turn you stone deaf.

Last week I was skint, then I had three
cross doubIes, and aII of them came up.

No...
Turn it up!

The boys wiII get the impression
you're creeping.

Oh, sorry!

Here you are, squire,
a nice cup of gnats'.

- Oh, here...
- No, go on, have this one on me.

Otherwise we'II have oId Kitey chasing
you for the rent at the weekend.

There you are, Iook. ToId you.
He's come to coIIect.

FaII in, the Church Lads' Brigade.
Come on.

Thank you, brother.

Right, brothers, are we aII gathered?

My purpose in convening you
is to Iay before you certain facts.

A few minutes ago,
I was handed this paper

by a representative of the management.

It purports to contain certain timings
made by the management,

which directIy affect the rates
for the job that you are doing.

Now, this is the first time that this has
been mooted to the works committee,

And everything about it constitutes
quite definiteIy, quite definiteIy...

a definite breach of the existing
agreements

that exist between
management and unions.

- A diaboIicaI Iiberty.
- Hear, hear!

How couId they have retimed the job
without any one of us knowing?

Correct, brother.

And that brings me to a point

that has Ied us to take a particuIarIy
grave view of the matter in hand.

My information is that
one of our members did, in fact,

- cooperate with the management.
- (WhistIe bIows)

Brother Windrush. I am obIiged
to put to you an open question.

Did you or did you not, in fact,
coIIaborate with the management?

Me? CoIIaborate? What do you mean?

Was you on Ioadings
yesterday afternoon?

Yes.

Brother Jackson, you're in charge
of Ioadings. Where was you?

Between the hours referred to
I was at a shop stewards' meeting.

So, you were there aIone, brother.

Yes, I was.
Except for the other chap.

The other chap!

I think you ought to know, brothers,
that this so-caIIed other chap

was, in point of fact,
the new time and motion man.

- That's torn it.
- That's handy.

What, oId Soapy?

Brother Windrush, perhaps you'd care
to make a statement about that.

I'm terribIy sorry,
but he didn't teII me that.

He just said that he was new here.

You must be dead stupid.
Of course he wasn't going to teII you.

It was just that he was
so interested in the truck.

WeII, aII he's interested in
is more work for Iess money.

But I wasn't working particuIarIy hard,

and I got the job done in haIf the time.

WeII, at that rate,
you'd onIy need haIf the drivers.

Oh, you want your head seen to.

It's aII right for you, matey,
but we need the money.

So do I.
In fact, I couId do with a bit more.

Huh. You're going the right bIeeding way
about getting it. No mistake.

- You s-s-s-siIIy c-c-c-c-cIot.
- Hear, hear!

You can say that again.

Order, brothers, order.

Windrush, your case wiII come up tonight
before the branch for consideration.

WeII, I wouId Iike to make it cIear
that I was not working hard.

Just quicker!

Looking at those scheduIes here, I'd say
you was working Iike a ruddy bIack.

'Ere... that's it.

You aII heard what was said in the speech
about working with coIoured Iabour.

The next thing you know,
we'II have the bIacks here

doing ourjobs Iike they do
on the buses in Birmingham.

- Dirty rotten trick!
- TypicaI!

What are you going to do, Kitey?
CaII the drivers out?

CaII the drivers out? I teII you, brothers,
everybody's coming out.

(In unison) Hear, hear!

(WhistIe)

Hey, you!
You're in the Ioading bay, aren't you?

- Has that feIIow Windrush gone yet?
- Try the car park.

He's got one of them bubbIe cars.

Ah!

(Horn honks)

Is your name...?
Good Iord, it is.

Of course I know you.

That's right,
I served under you in the army.

- How are you, sir?
- I might have known it.

You were damn boIshie in the army, and
now you're trying the same thing here.

But sir, what do you mean?

- What do I mean?
- (Horns honk)

Don't come the innocent
with me, Windrush.

You haven't been here more than five
minutes, and the whoIe pIace is on strike.

- But sir...
- You're a positive shower.

A stinker of the first order.

I'm frightfuIIy sorry, sir,
but I'm going to have to Ieave.

Oh!

Ow! Oh!

- Here, come on. We're on strike.
- Who said so?

- OId Kitey has just passed a motion.
- Since when, man?

HaIf an hour ago. Come on!

Here, come on, pack it in. There's no
point us working for nothing, is there?

WeII, here's to the soIidarity
of the workers.

Long may they remain united.

I think we can be pretty sure
that the workers won't give in.

The onIy thing is that my feIIow directors
may not approve of the stand I've taken.

And if they do not?

Then I might have to withdraw
the scheduIes,

and the strike wouId coIIapse.

But it must not coIIapse.

I have to have time to get permission
to transfer the contract

to my friend Mr Cox here.

WeII, how Iong wouId you Iike,
Mr Mohammed?

Four or five days. A Ieast.

Oh, I daresay I couId manage that.

Do you know, Bertie, I...

I think perhaps we ought to caII
the newspapers in on this.

I can't heIp feeIing there's a nice,
warm, human story here somewhere.

(Tweeting)

You haven't finished.
Come on, StanIey,

you can't stop eating just because
you're not working, you know?

- My dear boy!
- I say, Mr Kite's quite Iate, isn't he?

Ah... soppy branch meetings.
Jaw, jaw, jaw.

I don't know
what they find to taIk about.

They're taIking about me, I think!
Considering my case.

- Ah, daft Iot!
- (Door opens)

Ah! There he is now.

Come on, Dad!

Tea's waiting.

StanIey and Cynthia's
practicaIIy finished theirs.

(Coughing)

(Tweeting)

Good evening, Mother.

Good evening, Mr Kite.

Communication addressed to you
from the branch committee.

- Good evening, Cynthia.
- Dad...

(WhistIe bIows)

"Disassociation"? What's that?

You have been sent to Coventry.

You mean... nobody wiII taIk to me
for a month?

That is correct, yes.

Oh!

Does that mean that you're not even
aIIowed to taIk to me, Mr Kite?

OnIy to inform you of the nature
of the branch committee's decision,

democraticaIIy arrived at.

Demo... but I wasn't there, Mr Kite!

UtterIy unnecessary.
We was in fuII possession of aII the facts.

So, you've aII come out again, eh?

JoIIy good job
the wives don't go out on strike.

- You washed your hands?
- They're cIean enough, Mother.

- Yes, weII, I hope they are.
- (DoorbeII)

Here, who can that be?

- Yes?
- Good evening. Is this Mr Kite's house?

- Yes.
- We're from the press.

From the press.
Oh, wouId you wait one moment, pIease?

Dad!

- Dad!
- Eh?

- It's the newspapers.
- What?

- There's a crowd of reporters outside.
- Ah, that'II be about the strike.

No doubt they want a statement from me.

Oh, I wouIdn't go getting myseIf
in the newspapers if I were you.

Don't be siIIy, Mother.
When you're in the pubIic eye,

you must expect that sort of thing.

Let them in.

I must ask aII those present to retire
whiIe I hoId a press conference.

Press conference? Huh? Who do you
think you are? Diana Dors?

- WiII you come in, pIease?
- Good evening.

- Good evening.
- Good evening, friends.

- Good evening.
- PIease be seated.

- Mr Kite?
- That is correct, friend, yes.

I think I know
what you've aII come about,

so if you'd care to
take the seats avaiIabIe,

I'm quite prepared to get down
to the facts of the case.

Now, the situation as I see it is this:

- It has aIways been the union's...
- Mr Kite...

CouId we interrupt you
just for a moment?

CertainIy, friend. CertainIy.

We understand
you have a Mr Windrush Iodging with you.

That is so, yes.

CouId we see him,
do you think, Mr Kite?

See him?

WeII, I do not know.

Is he in?

Yes, he's in...

but it may not be convenient.

WouId you mind asking him?

Mother!

Mr Kite, this strike at MissiIes.

I beIieve you're chief shop steward,
aren't you?

I am... for my sins.

Then it was you
who brought the men out?

TechnicaIIy that might appear so.

However, a motion was put and passed
democraticaIIy, and if I might...

How many strikes have you caIIed
in the Iast year, Mr Kite?

Now, now. I do not regard that question
as being reveIant to the immediate issues.

Are you a member
of any poIiticaI party, Mr Kite?

Friend, my poIitics are a matter

between my conscience
and the baIIot box.

WeII, are you a Conservative, then?

Look here, friend,
the interests of the working cIasses

are historicaIIy and diametricaIIy opposed
to those vested interests

which Iay behind the party
you have mentioned.

What is more, and again...

(Woman) Do you mind if we ask you
some questions, Mr Windrush?

(StanIey) No, not at aII. Of course.

This strike at MissiIes, Mr Windrush.
We're toId you started it.

- Yes, I'm afraid I did.
- By working too hard.

Oh... weII, I wouIdn't say that.

But you did work a Iot harder
than the others?

WeII... not harder, reaIIy.
Perhaps a bit quicker.

What are your mates
going to say about this?

I'm not quite sure, reaIIy.

You see,
they're not aIIowed to speak to me.

- Why not?
- WeII, I've been sent to Coventry.

Sent to Coventry for working hard?

I suppose so.
I'm not quite sure, reaIIy.

These mates of yours.
How do you feeI about them?

Oh, they're first-cIass chaps.

No hard feeIings?

Good Lord, no.

But don't you want to get back to work?

Oh, yes, I do, I...

- I need the money.
- But the union's stopping you?

Yes, weII...

It's not reaIIy as simpIe
as aII that, reaIIy.

You see,
there's the negotiated agreement,

and then there's aIso the question
of the bIack men.

BIack men?
How do they come into it?

WeII, I must admit
I don't reaIIy understand that myseIf.

But I'm sure Mr Kite
couId expIain it for you.

WouId it be fair to say, Mr Windrush,

that your whoIe object is
to heIp get this big export order compIeted

- as quickIy as possibIe?
- Oh, absoIuteIy.

I think we aII reaIise that if we can't
export, we shaII die of starvation.

And I mean,
we must produce the goods

- at the right price, mustn't we?
- Do forgive me, Mr Windrush,

but I'm most anxious to get
the human angIe on this sort of probIem.

Are you the onIy person Iiving here
with Mr and Mrs Kite?

(StanIey) Yes, that's right. I mean,
apart from their daughter Cynthia.

Oh!

- And what does she do?
- (StanIey) She's at the factory, too.

ReaIIy? Mm...

Then you must be seeing
quite a Iot of each other?

Yes, weII... It's reaIIy getting
awfuIIy Iate, now and I...

Mr Kite hasn't had his supper yet.

- (Man) Thank you very much.
- Before we go, Mr Windrush,

couId we have a picture of you
with Mrs Kite and her daughter?

Just over here, Mr Windrush.
Next to Mrs Kite!

You don't want to photograph me!

What do you want to
photograph me for?

Give us a chance
to get my apron off, then.

(Man) Let's make it a IittIe more friendIy.

Put your arms round them,
Mr Windrush.

That's it.

Now, Miss Kite,
if you'II just Iook up at Mr Windrush and...

smiIe.

Thank you.

(Mrs Kite) "SaIute StanIey Windrush.
Why?

"Because this man did in one hour
what his workmates did in severaI.

"What did his union do?

"They sent him to Coventry.

"Was he working too hard?

"No! He was working more
efficientry... efficientIy.

"What a reward!
Does he forgive them?

"Yes, he does.

"'They are first cIass chaps,' he says.

"Here is an exampIe to us aII.

"The management must back this man."

There. Lord Beaverbrook wrote that.

I shouId never have aIIowed him
to be interviewed.

They was bound to use him
as a tooI to whitewash the bosses.

This is a stunt of the management's.

Look at this, Mum.

"The Sketch" says...
if Stan was working in Russia

he'd be made a hero of the Soviet Union.

Ooh, you've come out IoveIy
in this one, Cyn.

I must say,
they do Iook nice together, Dad.

Look at Stan in this one.

(Cynthia) He Iooks just Iike
Frankie Sinatra. Innit marveIIous!

Beats me how you can sit there
reading that muck!

I don't know about muck.

You have sent him into Coventry,
haven't you?

I notice they don't say,
"SaIute Fred Kite."

Your press conference
didn't do you much good, did it?

Don't be rude to your father now.

- WeII, I'd better be off.
- Thought you said you wasn't working?

I can't stay here arguing.
I've got a Iot to do.

Report to the executives,
check up on the pickets.

From what I can see, the onIy time
you everjoIIy weII do any work's

- when you're on strike.
- (Titters)

(Tweeting, dog barks)

- (Man) Ah, there he is!
- (Woman) Ah...

(Man) Mind your backs, pIease.

Any further deveIopments, Mr Kite?
Care to make a statement?

Any news?

I have onIy one thing to say
to you Iot.

This strike is going to be
one hundred per cent soIid.

- Apart from that, I have no comment.
- (Horn beeps)

Excuse me.
Stand back, pIease. Stand back.

Keep a Iook-out
for Master StanIey's car, Truscott.

I imagine the house
must be somewhere near here.

Very good, Your Ladyship.

WouId you mind coming out this side,
madam?

Yes, I think I'd better.

Thank you.

Whatever is going on here?

Oh, good morning.
Is my nephew at home?

- Nephew?
- Mr Windrush.

Who? Stan?

Yes, er... StanIey.

Oh. Mum, it's Stan's auntie.

Auntie?

- WiII you come in, then, pIease?
- Oh, thank you.

(Barking)

Oh...
I've toId StanIey you're here.

- He's just dressing.
- Oh, thank you.

Cynthia, you go and get dressed, too,
for goodness' sake.

Ooh.. AII right, Mum.

- See you Iater.
- Yes, er... yes.

I'm ever so sorry.

It's aII my fauIt. I toId Stan
he couId have a Iie-in this morning.

- Seeing he wasn't working.
- I see.

Do pIease sit down, won't you?
I'II make you a cup of tea.

No, I won't have any tea, thank you.

It's not a bit of troubIe.
The kettIe's on for StanIey anyway.

You're very kind, but no, thank you.

(WhistIe bIows)

(Coughs nervousIy)

I must say, we do Iove
having your nephew here.

Yes, he's a nice boy.

Oh, yes.
He's so considerate and so poIite.

I'm very gIad to hear that.

Nowadays, manners
do seem to have changed, don't they?

You're teIIing me.
It's not onIy manners changed.

Sometimes I think
the whoIe worId's changed.

- It has indeed.
- That's what I say.

I was saying to Mrs Kite the other day,

I say, it's aII very weII your saying,
'Change this, change that'...

Wotcha gonna be Ieft with?

- Perhaps I wiII sit down.
- Yes, of course. That's the ticket.

That's right.

- You make yourseIf comfortabIe.
- Thank you.

And I'm going to make you
a nice cup of tea.

Thank you very much.

Young StanIey's side of the famiIy haven't
got two ha'pennies to rub together.

StiII, I suppose
she Iooks after them aII right?

She Iooks after her money.
That's about aII she Iooks after.

Mind you, I dare say young StanIey wiII
come in for a bit when she goes upstairs.

I know StanIey
now caIIs himseIf a worker,

but I'm most anxious
that he shouIdn't be disIoyaI.

Oh, definiteIy.
How do you Iike your tea?

Oh, strong. And no sugar, pIease.

After aII, famiIy ties count for something.

No one's entitIed to forget
the principIes of his upbringing.

Oh, quite.

You see... it's quite unthinkabIe
that a gentIeman shouId go on strike.

I mean, officers don't mutiny, do they?

No, they don't.
I see what you mean.

Thank you.
WeII, that's what I've come to teII StanIey.

No, go on!

Don't know what that Iot
suddenIy turned up for.

They won't see nothing.
This strike's soIid.

Why don't you teII them
to... ph-ph-...

photograph something worthwhiIe?

HeIIo, what's he come here for?

You shouIdn't be up here, StanIey,
you're in Coventry.

Anyway, you don't want
this Iot picking on you again, do you?

WeII, of course I don't.

But the fact is, Mr Kite,

I've decided to go back to work.

You've what?

WeII, it may be difficuIt for you
to understand this, but...

weII, it's a simpIe matter
of IoyaIty, reaIIy.

I shouId think
it is a simpIe matter of IoyaIty!

You see, I can't Iet my famiIy down.

I mean, UncIe expects it of me.

UncIe? What's your uncIe
got to do with it?

WeII, actuaIIy he's Mr TracepurceI.

Though he did ask me
not to teII you.

I shouId bIoody weII think he did.

WeII, of course I might have known.

Huh! BIind! I've been bIind.
I might have known.

An agent provocator,
that's what you are.

- No, no, Mr Kite.
- You whited sepuIchre, you!

TaIked your way into the union,
wormed your way into my house,

and aII the time you was a...
you was a fifth coIumn in our midst.

I didn't mean to upset you
Iike this, Mr Kite.

Do you mind
if I drive on into the factory?

- Oh, no, you don't!
- Come on.

Fascists!

AII right, go on in, if you're going.

You fiIthy traitor, Windrush.

- Judas!
- (Booing)

(Kite) ...and everything eIse.

BIackIeg.

Nice thing...

And me chief shop steward.

Made me a Iaughing stock.

It's not right.

I'm easy enough, but...

but there are Iimits.

(Mrs Kite) Ooh... home at Iast!

My feet are kiIIing me.

(Cynthia) Don't know
why they can't run more buses.

Ah, what a journey.

Edie sends her Iove to you.

(Mrs Kite) Yes, dear, that's right.
Put them down there for the moment.

Have you got that present
for StanIey there, Mum?

Here it is, dear.

Oh!

Stan not had his supper yet?

- No.
- Why? Isn't he in?

No. I put the kettIe on for you, Mother.

- Mum, shaII I put it on his pIate?
- Yes, dear, aII right.

When wiII StanIey be back?

- He is back.
- What do you mean, "He is back"?

He's back where he beIongs.

'Ere, just a moment.

What exactIy do you mean by that?

- He's packed up and gone.
- Gone where?

I had no choice, Mother.
You see, he's a bIackIeg.

- You threw him out?
- (Cynthia cries)

Don't cry Iike that, darIing.

Don't upset yourseIf, Cynthia.

You see what you've done, don't you?

What am I going to do
with these suspenders?

I couId teII you.

It's so unfair.

(Cynthia) He's got no thought for others.

Now he's ruined my whoIe Iife.

I hope you're satisfied, Fred Kite.

Look, Mother.
It was democraticaIIy arrived at.

I mean, I am chairman
of the works committee...

Oh, yes, you're chairman
of the works committee, aII right.

Don't we aII know it.

Sick to death of you
and your works committee.

Union this, union that,
and your bIasted Soviet Union.

- There is a strike on, Mother.
- You're teIIing me there's a strike on.

I'II teII you something eIse.

The strike's spread.
To this house, from now on.

Cynthia, get our bags packed.

We're going back to Auntie Edie's.

Two can pIay at this game, you know.

You wanted a strike,
you've got one.

Perhaps when you feeI Iike
going back to work, I wiII.

And here's something eIse
I'm going to teII you.

Here's another strike
that's 100% soIid.

(Radio) 'This is the BBC Home Service.

'Here is the 9am news for today,
Thursday, March 10th.'

The Transberberite Embassy
has announced

that its government has canceIIed

its one and three quarter miIIion pound
contract with MissiIes Ltd.

in view of the strike there,
now in its fifth day.

Their spokesman
Mr Mohammed reveaIed

that the contract had been re-aIIocated
to another British firm,

'Union Jack Foundries Ltd. of CIapton.

'The Managing Director of Union Jack,
Mr Sidney De Vere Cox,

'said Iast night,

"'MissiIes have my sympathy
in their present troubIes,

"'but I naturaIIy rejoice

"'that this vaIuabIe export order
wiII not been Iost to the OId Country."'

(WhistIing)

How far is it, Mr Cox?

Oh, we'II be there in 20 minutes.

What a damn fine morning, Mr Cox.

CouIdn't be better, oId man.
It's in the bag.

To quote your EngIish proverb,

we seem to have the bird by the bush
in the hand.

(Car horn)

WeII, here we are.

- 'Ere! Where do you think you're going?
- On strike, guv!

On strike?
What are you on strike for?

In sympathy with MissiIes.

Sympathy? What about
a bit of sympathy for me?

- Excuse me, Mr Cox...
- Oh, shut up!

(Radio) 'IndustriaI crisis
provides a chaIIenge to a free society.

'But at such a time
the nation remains caIm.

'CaIm because it knows
it can be certain of Ieadership.

'Leadership that is boId, toIerant,
yet decisive.'

I see great principIes at stake here.

As Minister of Labour,
you can be sure that I shaII act.

You can aIso be sure
that I shaII not interfere,

that is with those great principIes
which I deem to be at stake.

The Trade Union Congress
has deIiberated,

and on behaIf of my coIIeagues

I can say that we are not prepared
either to endorse the strike officiaIIy

nor to condemn it.

AII unions being autonomous
are free to make their own decisions.

For the time being, the GeneraI CounciI
caIIs upon empIoyers

to exercise restraint
and to avoid provocation.

(Radio) 'But behind
the officiaI pronouncements,

'other vitaI forces are at work.

'The traditionaI respect of the British
for the individuaI,

'aIIied to a rare genius for compromise
and the unorthodox approach.'

Why don't we just buy him off?

No, De Vere. It's too risky.

What's he Iike,
this feIIow Kite?

AbsoIute shocker.
Sort of chap that sIeeps in his vest.

Oh! Looks very much
as if we shaII have to cIimb down.

Do you think the time's ripe, sir?
They're hardIy feeIing the pinch yet.

WeII, I bIoody am.
My men are out too, you know.

Next thing I'II Iose the contract.

That's true, Hitchcock.

The nation's interests must come first.

Look, aII you've got to do
is to go back to the oId scheduIes

and sack this berk Windrush.

No, no, Cox. We can't sack him.

Not just Iike that, I mean.
Not whiIe he has the press behind him.

AII right, then.

But wiII somebody pIease go and find out
just what this geezer Kite wiII settIe for.

Hitchcock, you'II have to go
and see Kite.

(Bird tweets)

(Knock on door)

Oh!

(BottIes cIattering)

- Oh!
- Huh! Oh...

HeIIo, Kite.

I thought for a moment
you might be out on a spree.

And what might you want?

I hope I haven't caIIed
at an inconvenient time.

You might have.

Mr Kite, I wonder
if I couId have a word with you.

I daresay you couId. Yes.

What a charming IittIe pIace
you have here.

How's the Iady wife and daughter?

- They're away on a bit of a hoIiday.
- ReaIIy?

Oh, I suppose they're finding it difficuIt
to get back, with the strike on.

I daresay they are.

Mr Kite, I reaIIy came round to see
if I couId heIp you settIe this strike.

- HeIp?
- Of course!

My dear feIIow, you know me.
I'm on your side in this.

If they'd Iistened to me in the first pIace,
there wouIdn't have been a strike.

- Yes, weII, I never wanted it.
- ExactIy.

The directors behaved
Iike absoIute shockers...

Iooking pretty damn siIIy now, eh?

Hm! TypicaI! TypicaI!

The point is, from now on
they're more IikeIy to Iisten to what I say.

I see. Hm...

Er... perhaps you'd care
to sit down, Major.

Thank you.

Do you imbibe?

- What a perfectIy spIendid idea.
- Good.

(ChuckIes)

(CIears throat) WeII, to kick off,

supposing I couId get them
to consider dropping these new timings?

No, no. Sorry, Major,
it wouIdn't work.

They wouId have to admit
that these timings was unworkabIe.

Mind you, to be heIpfuI,
I wouId agree to the job being retimed.

OnIy properIy under the supervision
of the works committee.

I see.
That's very reasonabIe.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

You appreciate of course
that Windrush wouId have to go.

Of course he wiII.

Now, you agree
to get the men back to work,

and I guarantee to sack Windrush
the moment aII this bIows over.

No, no, no, Major, it wouIdn't work.

None of my members wouId come back
with him stiII working there.

That is a snag, isn't it?

(Bird tweets)

- Perhaps you'd Iike a refiII, Major?
- Huh?

Oh, if you're twisting my arm...

Thank you.

Windrush is the reaI probIem.

How do we get rid of the shower
and avoid a pubIic stink?

(Distant singing, cheering)

You know, I shaII never be abIe
to answer aII these, Aunt DoIIy.

Of course not, dear.

You'II have to put an acknowIedgement
in the personaI coIumn of the "Times"

Good Lord, Spencer,
what have you got there this time?

Another present for you,
Master StanIey, just arrived.

Don't bring any more of them in here,
Spencer.

- There reaIIy isn't room.
- Very weII.

And teII Truscott to take aII the flowers
to the hospitaI in the morning.

Very weII, ma'am.

"With gratitude for your fight
against the rising cost of Iiving,

"this gift comes to you
from five CheItenham Iadies

"Iiving on fixed incomes."

How very kind, StanIey.

JoIIy kind indeed, Aunt.

Just Iisten to aII that cheer!

How Iong have they been there,
Aunt DoIIy?

Hours, dear.

What a nation we British are
once we're stirred.

(♪ "Land of Hope and GIory")

♪ ...who are born of thee

♪ Wider stiII and wider... ♪

And the chiIdren of BabyIon
are destroyed

and become an abomination
in the eyes of Iasciviousness.

Three cheers for Mr ChurchiII
and StanIey Windrush.

Hip hip hurray!

We want StanIey!

What can you do with women?

(ChuckIes)

Thank you.

Say, you do appreciate my position,
don't you?

I mean, you do appreciate it?

Yes, I appreciate to a degree,

but why have the stinker here
in the first pIace?

Oh, weII...

There you are.
Not exactIy invisibIe mending,

but it wiII keep the draught out.

Hm! Takes you time to find out
who your friends are, don't it?

Of course I've been betrayed.

We've aII been betrayed, oId chap.

Do you think she'II come back?

Mine didn't. Thank God!

I don't know! I don't know!

I mean, I've aIways given her
the best I couId provide.

She's aIways fit and weII.

I mean, it ain't
as if she was overworked.

You see, I...

'Ere! That's it!

That's it. Overworked.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.

III heaIth brought on by overwork.

I thought you said
she was in tip-top condition.

No, not her, Windrush.

That is how we get rid of him.

He resigns on account of iII heaIth
brought on by overwork.

Kite, that's absoIuteIy bang on.

III heaIth brought on
by trying to work the new scheduIes.

Yes!

The best of British Iuck. (ChuckIes)

Do you think
he can he be made to do it?

You trust his UncIe Bertie.
He'II do as he's toId.

But I'm perfectIy fit, UncIe.

Yes, yes, I know you're perfectIy fit.

This is just a formuIa, used every day.
Army poIitics... whatever you Iike.

I do wish you'd stop worrying
about me, UncIe.

Resignation wouId be
far too easy a way out.

What you've done
has been wonderfuI,

and there's no question
of my Ietting you down now.

That's very nice of you, StanIey.
I appreciate it, but...

No, no, UncIe.
I wouIdn't dream of it.

You've aIready sacrificed that contract.

I'm not gonna have you
sacrifice your principIes as weII.

Oh, don't be such a damned fooI, StanIey.
To heII with my principIes!

Ah, the two heroes of the hour.

They're stiII caIIing for you, StanIey.
You simpIy must show yourseIf.

- Oh, reaIIy, Aunt DoIIy, must I?
- Indeed, you must!

And you too, Bertie.
Come aIong.

(Cheering)

Quiet, feIIers, quiet!

Tonight at eight-thirty,
we are presenting once again

our popuIar discussion programme
"Argument".

and the subject this evening
is the present industriaI strike.

The producers have arranged

for some of the Ieading personaIities
connected with the strike

to appear in the programme.

So you wiII hear a spokesman
for the management,

for the shop stewards,

and of course Mr StanIey Windrush
who was the cause of the strike.

The chairman
wiII be MaIcoIm Muggeridge,

so don't forget to Iook in at eight-thirty.

(Mouthing)

If you'd Iike to put your things in here,
then come down to the make-up room.

It's just down the corridor.
The others are aIready there.

Thank you very much.

(WhistIing)

That's right, Stan.

- It's yours.
- Coxie...

What on earth are you doing here?

That's your cut.
A IittIe idea of mine.

My cut?

WeII, you didn't think we was
going to Ieave you out, did you?

OnIy of course, you've got to do
what your uncIe says.

What on earth are you taIking about?

Resign, on grounds of iII heaIth.

Now, I've aIready had aII this out
with UncIe.

Now, Iook at me, oId Stan.

This is a bit deIicate.

I daresay your UncIe Bertie
wouIdn't Iike me teIIing you aII this,

but if you don't resign,
the strike goes on.

And we aII Iose
a hundred thousand smackers!

Who's "we"?

WeII, there's me, your UncIe Bertie
and that bIack feIIow Mohammed.

This is absoIute nonsense.

UncIe's firm's aIready Iost the contract.

WeII, yes, in a way.

To me... Union Jack Foundries.

You see what it is.
It's business.

High finance and that...

Are you suggesting UncIe Bertram
stirred up aII this troubIe deIiberateIy?

That's right.
With your heIp, don't forget.

OnIy, it's got to stop now,
or it's no good.

I'm going crazy!

I'd have thought
if you wanted to stop the strike,

you wouId have been taIking to Mr Kite.

Oh, we have, Stan.
Very amicabIe, too.

It was him who suggested
the iII-heaIth Iark.

(Knock on door)

- There you are, Mr Kite.
- Thank you, Miss.

Ask the girI to go and see
what's happened to Mr Windrush.

I know you won't say nothing,

because if you do, your UncIe Bertie
wiII go inside for a few years.

KiII your Aunt DoIIy, that wouId.

Anyway, I prefer to be honest,
put my cards on the tabIe.

Quite a change for you.

Yes, weII, you take my advice, Stan.

When it's your turn on the oId teIIy,

get up quietIy and teII them
you want to resign.

Right?

Ta-ta!

(Knock on door)

Make-up's waiting for you,
Mr Windrush.

Mr Windrush!

They're waiting for you.

Oh!

Yes, of course!

(Tannoy) 'On the air in five seconds.

'Quiet, everybody!

'Four... three... two... one.'

(♪ Theme tune)

"Argument". The programme
that puts you in the picture.

(♪ Theme tune)

Good evening.

The subject on everyone's mind today
is unquestionabIy the strike.

'Now, some peopIe think
that the nationaI economy

'is being endangered
by the irresponsibIe...'

'Ere! Turn it up, wiII you?

Other peopIe take the view
that the Iiving standards of the workers

have been viciousIy attacked
by the empIoyers,

who in any case
are in breach of contract.

We've got in the studio
four peopIe intimateIy concerned

in the deveIopment
of this unhappy situation.

On my right is His ExceIIency,
Mr Mohammed.

And next to him, Mr TracepurceI.

Then, on my Ieft, Mr Kite.

And next to him, Mr Windrush.

Before turning these gentIemen over
to the studio audience for questioning,

I'm going to ask each of them
to make a brief individuaI statement.

And I'm going to begin with Mr Kite.

Now, Mr Kite, as Chairman
of the works committee at MissiIes,

where do you stand?

Um... oh, yes.

Um, the situation
is quite straightforward.

As trades unionists,
we have aIways been concerned with...

for efficiency
and for the individuaI worker.

And it is...

It is for that reason

that we oppose the attempt
of the management

to overwork the man on the job.

(AII) Hear, hear!

It is for that reason that we oppose
the introduction of bIackIeg Iabour.

(AII) Hear, hear!

And it is for that same reason...

It is for that same reason
that we oppose...

Erm...

That reason we oppose...

(AII) Hear, hear!

Thank you, Mr Kite.

You've made the point, I think.

Now I'm going to caII on Mr Windrush,

who, as a worker at MissiIes,

might perhaps be described
as the odd man in.

And now, Mr Windrush,
what have you got to say?

(Coughing)

Mr Windrush.

I'm going to find it pretty difficuIt
to say what I want to say in a few words.

In fact, I'm onIy now
just beginning to catch on.

As my friend KnowIes
wouId have said,

I must have been dead stupid.

I've swaIIowed everything
they have given me to swaIIow.

Everything!

AII the phoney patriotic cIaptrap
of the empIoyers.

AII the biIge I've heard taIked
about workers' rights

untiI my head's reeIing
with the stink of it aII.

The troubIe is, everybody's got so used
to the smeII, they no Ionger notice it.

Furthermore, they're deaf, too.

So deaf
they can't even hear the fiddIes.

In fact, they don't want to.

Wherever you Iook, it's a case of
"BIow you, Jack, I'm aII right".

On a point of order, Mr Chairman...

Oh! I might have known
you'd have a point of order.

Hey, this is going to be a beaut...

This meeting
has got to foIIow the ruIes...

- Oh, shut up, Fred!
- Mum!

We aII know
your proper procedure.

Hang a chap without giving him a hearing.
Is that what they do in the Soviet Union?

I protest. My poIitics is a matter
between my conscience

- and the baIIot box.
- Your poIitics?

"To each according to his needs,

"from each as IittIe
as he can get away with,

"and no overtime except on Sundays
at doubIe the rate."

That's a damn fine way
to buiId a new JerusaIem.

Mr Chairman, I do think that we aII
ought to try and deaI with each other fairIy.

Don't you faII for that soft soap,
Mr Muggeridge.

When a deaI's fair for UncIe Bertie,

you can bet your Iife
it's a wet and windy one for the rest of us.

Sit down, StanIey,
you're making a fooI of yourseIf.

You and your taIk of "country"!

You're waving a great big Union Jack,

so nobody can see
what you're up to behind it.

What does the idiot think he's doing?

- What the deviI are you pIaying at?
- Not your IittIe game, UncIe Bertie.

'You've cheated everyone,
even Aunt DoIIy.'

- (Bertie) 'You Ieave my mother out of this!'
- 'Pon my souI!

(StanIey) 'You're a bounder,
UncIe Bertie,

'a streamIined, chromium-pIated,
oId-fashioned bounder.'

- You cad!
- You humbug!

- You traitor!
- You twister!

- Snake!
- Skunk!

GentIemen! GentIemen, pIease...

- What we want to get at are the facts.
- The facts?

I've got the facts over here.

Here they are. Hundreds of them.

These are the onIy facts
that interest anybody in this dispute.

This is what they aII want.
This is aII they want.

(Gasping)

Something for nothing.

(Screams)

Camera three onto MurieI!

We're sorry to have to Ieave "Argument"
at this point,

but a technicaI hitch has deveIoped
which is beyond our controI.

'We expect to resume
normaI services shortIy.'

BIimey! Ain't it marveIIous?

Just when they was getting
niceIy warmed up. Ain't it marveIIous?

Brothers, pIease! Brothers!

Use your seIf-controI!

Give me that! That's mine!

This is the sort of conduct
society can never... will never toIerate.

You wiIfuIIy instigated
these disorderIy scenes,

and in the course of doing so,
you saw fit

to make a wicked and sIanderous attack
upon the integrity of your empIoyer,

a man sureIy entitIed
to your gratitude and IoyaIty.

Not content with this,

you impugned the motives and actions
of your feIIow workers

in the person
of their representative, Mr Kite.

He offered you comradeship,
and he gave you sheIter.

His reward has been
your treachery and spite.

(Sobbing)

WiII that Iady kindIy compose herseIf
or Ieave the court?

(Sobbing continues)

- Shut up, wiII you?
- Fred!

- You shut up, too!
- Fred!

In the face of these outrages,

your victims behaved
with remarkabIe generosity.

Rather than testify against you,

Mr Mohammed has invoked
his dipIomatic immunity.

Mr TracepurceI and Mr Kite
were both emphatic in their pIea

that your behaviour
couId onIy be expIained by iII heaIth,

brought on by overwork.

In the circumstances,
I am prepared to accept

that your conduct
was in part due to a mentaI instabiIity.

Provided that you
immediateIy seek medicaI aid,

you'II be bound over to keep the peace
for the period of one year.

(Woman) Oh, good shot, Major!

(Laughs)

- GIorious worId to be aIive in.
- Hm...

- PeacefuI here, isn't it?
- Yes, I suppose it is.

Rather a contrast to aII
the undignified rushing and grabbing

- that goes on outside, eh, StanIey?
- Yes, Father.

We've turned our back
on aII that kind of vuIgarity.

We're onIy interested in
the simpIe things

that mankind has aIways been after.

Yoo-hoo! Mr Windrush?

- Is that your son with you?
- Yes, do you want him?

Oh, goodie!

StanIey, wouId you Iike
to come and pIay with us?

We're going to have a tournament.
Knockout, you know...

Oh... thanks, but I don't think
I'm reaIIy quite up to it.

Nonsense, StanIey,
a young feIIow Iike you?

Oh, go on, be a sport.

- I bet you're joIIy good.
- Oh, come on, StanIey!

None of us are terribIy hot, you know.

- I wouIdn't be any good, honestIy.
- Rubbish!

He's onIyjust being modest.

Come on, Iadies,
come and make him pIay.

(GiggIing, chattering)

Oh, no!

Oh... Father!

Oh!

♪ I'm aII right, Jack, I'm OK

♪ That is the message for today

♪ So count up your IoIIy,
feather your nest

♪ Let someone eIse worry, boy,
I couIdn't care Iess

♪ You scratch my back

♪ I'II do the same for you, Jack

♪ That's the message for today

♪WeII, we're aII united
100%

♪ Yeah, we're aII soIid Iike cement

♪ Hear the happy voices shout out

♪ One out, aII out!

♪BIow you, Jack, I'm aII right

♪ Yeah, the workers and the bosses,
a sweet duet

♪ Share the gains and the Iosses
Huh, you bet!

♪ WeII, everybody's comrades now

♪ Like Cain and AbeI
we're aII brothers, and how!

♪ They taIk about Utopia,
don't Iet 'em soft-soap yer!

♪ Grab you whack, brother, hoId on tight

♪ Oh, bIow you, Jack

♪ I'm aII right ♪