Original subtitles

♪ 'Cause I've got a plan ♪

♪ You're beautiful You're beautiful ♪

♪ You're beautiful It's true ♪

♪ I saw your face ♪

So sweet.

♪ In a crowded place ♪

♪ And I don't know what to do ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll never be With you ♪

Cheers, James.

Thank you. No, you're beautiful.

♪ Yeah, she caught my eye ♪

♪ As we walked on by ♪

♪ She could see From my face... ♪

How much was he?

- Seventy-five thousand. - That's not bad.

It was only one song.

Oh. He's only done one song.

♪ See her again But we shared a moment ♪

Let's, uh, take a look in a little more detail

at your takeover of M&J.

Can you stop staring at me, please? It's very off-putting.

During your ownership of M&J,

your family took more than 400 million pounds

out of the company.

- Is that right? - We were the owners.

- Wow! - You got a conference room there.

You've got a screening room,

- a library for meetings. - This is the gravy.

Whilst M&J went from having assets

of almost 300 million pounds

to debts of more than 250 million pounds.

In other words, the company lost 550 million pounds

whilst your family gained 400 million pounds.

And I got this for you.

It's an ancient Egyptian lion.

- How old is it? - Well, it's new.

It's an exact copy of the original.

Right, but it's a fake.

- But this is real. - Wha...?

- A giant prehistoric bird bone. - Wow!

Do you know what? I don't normally go

for large prehistoric birds, but, uh, that is just genius.

Sally.

This is Sally, our fashion editor.

You probably want to talk to her.

This is Nick. He's writing a book

- about Greedy McCreadie. - Oh, hi.

- Hi. You're the fashion editor? - Yes.

Why? Did you expect me to look a bit more like a model?

No, no. Of course not.

Uh, not that you don't.

You look gr... Very... You look great.

Uh, this is our city desk over here

- if you want to follow me. - Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, and you. Yeah. - Okay?

It's just round here, Jim is, okay?

Um, so I was hoping you could try and help me understand

the mechanics of the deals. I...

I know nothing about business. I mean, I'm not an idiot,

but, uh, it might be easiest if you imagine I am one,

and then I can tell you if I find that patronizing.

I mean, I know what a savings account is.

Well, that's not relevant to this.

No, I know. I'm... I'm...

I'm just saying, feel free to talk down to me.

Most people don't have a problem with that.

That won't be necessary. It's all pretty simple.

McCreadie has a whole bunch of interconnected companies,

but let's take the example of the biggest, Monda.

The jewel in his crown. Monda made him a household name.

When McCreadie bought Monda, it was a public company

listed on the stock exchange. Anyone can buy shares in it.

People are buying and selling all the time.

Add up the shares, you get the value of the company.

In the case of Monda, that was about 900 million pounds.

McCreadie was one of the pioneers

of taking public companies private.

To do that, you have to buy all the shares,

900 million pounds worth,

but he didn't have that much money.

Even if he did, he didn't like to use his own money.

What do you do when you don't have enough money?

I usually call my parents, and they tell me to piss off.

But I imagine he didn't call my parents.

Uh, I think he probably borrowed it. Did he borrow it?

So Greed invites a few friends down to his yacht in Monaco,

including Bob, his banker from HBOS.

McCreadie persuades Bob to lend him 95 percent of the money.

Then he calls the CEO of Monda and makes an offer.

What the fuck? It's the middle of the night.

There's 25 million in it for you if I buy Monda.

♪ Money, money, money Must be funny ♪

♪ In a rich man's world ♪

Now, 75 million shiny English pounds

go straight into the pockets

of the managers on the board of Monda.

So surprise, surprise, they recommend

that people sell to McCreadie.

All those in favor, aye.

Aye.

That's outrageous. That's bribery.

Well, no, no, it's not bribery because bribery is illegal.

It's certainly an incentive, but it's totally legal.

Christ. How much of his own money

- did Rich put in? - Ten million.

So, what, then he owes 890 million?

No, McCreadie doesn't owe anything.

Monda owes HBOS the money used to buy Monda.

So he used Monda's money to buy Monda? Is that legal?

It's totally legal.

McCreadie was one of the pioneers of this,

but it happens all the time.

So now Monda has a big old chunky debt,

890 million pounds.

But Monda owns a lot of shops on a lot of high streets.

Owns them. Property is valuable.

The last 20 years, it's trebled in value.

So McCreadie gets Monda to sell the properties

and then rent them instead.

There's no short-term gains,

but one shop alone on Oxford Street

netted 200 million pounds.

So the sale of property pays off the debt

and increases the profits, so he looks like a genius.

When really Monda has just sold off all its assets.

And that's how he paid himself, or his wife, 1.2 billion pounds

as a dividend two years after buying Monda.

So it was only really 800 million pounds,

but we rolled over 400 from the year before

so that Rich could make it the biggest dividend ever

because he loves a headline like that.

That's Rich. It's all about image.

He used to do magic tricks as a child.

So the first principle of magic is to distract your audience.

Make them look at your left hand

while your right hand takes the watch.

That's how McCreadie works with his dividend.

So he paid the 1.2 billion

from the money he made selling the shops?

No. Monda borrowed the 1.2 billion

from Bob the Banker to pay his family.

That's outrageous. So Monda then owes all that to the bank.

It's the same with M&J, with all Greed's business deals.

Because the dividends are paid to Samantha,

and she is resident in Monaco which has no income tax,

McCreadie saves 300 million pounds in tax,

100 million of which she uses

to buy a nice little runaround.

It is classic asset stripping

and classic tax avoidance.

It's all just one gigantic dodge, isn't it?

Is this an investigation into my tax affairs?

I pay what I have to and no more because I'm not stupid.

If you wanna chase people avoiding tax,

why don't you go after the big boys?

I mean, look at Apple, look at Amazon, Starbucks.

- Why are you chasing me? - Right, it's not them we're...

I suggest you Google it, Mr. Chairman.

That's another company. How much tax do you think Google pay?

Not very much. If you don't believe me, talk to Bono.

He's avoided hundreds of millions in tax

by claiming that U2 are based in Holland.

Doesn't stop him going around the world

in your nan's sunglasses proclaiming, uh,

about ending poverty or whatever.

This is him in the Daily Mail.

"'You'd be stupid not to try and cut your tax bill, ' says Bono."

Nobody that lives here pays tax.

Nobody on any of these boats is paying tax.

That's just the rules. I'm following the rules.

There's nothing wrong with that.

The super yacht, the models,

the glamorous parties.

Rich being photographed

alongside Naomi or Kate or Sienna, whomever.

It's all part of a brand.

It adds a little sparkle to a $10 party dress.

Wow, that was amazing.

- So why did you divorce? - Rich likes to win.

And what do you get when you win? You get a...

- A medal? - A trophy.

Naomi's that trophy for him.

I mean, I'm not a gynecologist,

but I know a cunt when I see one.

- Do you miss Monaco? - I miss the boat.

I still think that is the best thing we ever made,

excluding Adrian and Lily, but including Finn.

Is there anything else you miss?

Just getting a water for Naomi.

She can see you guys, by the way.

Thank you, Finn.

These lions guarded Apollo's temple.

Really?

I don't know

what's going on with us, Faby.

I'm sorry.

I'm a fucking damn fool.

But I still love your soul.

I swore that I'd never cry for another man.

Baby, baby, don't cry.

- Uh, yeah. Uh, Lily? - Yeah?

Yeah, um, so it says in the script

- that you're crying. - Tears?

Yeah, if we could have some tears.

- Okay. Give me a minute. - Yeah. Sure. No, okay.

Just take a minute. Give us a shout when you're ready.

- Want me to poke you in the eye? - Fuck off.

All right, all right. It's just an idea.

See, I always think of Diana when I need to cry.

I reckon she would have loved it here.

This is the place where Apollo and Artemis were born.

No, that's all a myth.

This place was built on trade.

Built by men like me.

This was once the biggest trading post

in the whole of the Mediterranean.

Commercial center of the world.

And look at it now, ruins.

"A coward dies many times before his death...

but the valiant never taste of death but once."

Just reading off your bloody phone, Rich.

Yeah. BrainyQuote. I love BrainyQuote.

Don't worry, Dad. You're gonna die soon enough.

- Finn. - Oh, come on. It's just banter.

Don't say "banter" like some Hooray Henry horse fondler.

I'm only 60.

Rupert's still running News Corp in his 80s.

Maybe I'll skip a generation,

leave everything to your children.

If you find anyone to have children with.

- Oh, Ricky. - "I knew a man who once said,

'Death smiles at us all,

"and all a man can do is smile back.'"

That's... That's a bit weird.

He's quoting Gladiator.

- You all right? - Yeah.

I swore that I would never cry

- for another man. - Hey.

- Cut! - Then don't cry.

- Fuck's sake. - Are you kidding?

- Get out of my shot, Finn! - Were you guys acting?

- Sorry. - Move out of the fucking way!

- I think she's actually crying. - Yeah, she is.

You want it? Okay, Lily, just go for it. Just use that.

- Yeah? Okay. Going. - Yeah, fantastic. Go for it.

Open the gate.

Clarence. Good boy. Look at that.

Come on. Look, look, look.

Good, Clarence. Good, good.

Go, go, go, go.

Ha! Ha!

Clarence, go.

- Ha-da! Clarence! - Ah! Ah!

Is he always like this?

Give him a minute. He needs to warm up.

He needs to find his motivation. Come on. Ha-da!

We were just hoping he'd have a bit more energy.

He will. He just...

He's got a bit of stage fright. A bit frozen.

Rich is expecting him to be the star of the show.

Yeah.

He will be. He just, you know...

He's not very good.

Oi. Look, slower, slower.

- But not so close to him, okay? - Okay.

Show him the meat. You're not trying to kill him. Come on.

- Good boy. Come on! - It's gonna be a disaster.

Do you know any tricks to make him a bit more scary?

- Well, these are the tricks. - I'm not frightened at all.

I thought he'd be frightening.

He will be. He will be.

Oh, fuck. They're back.

Hello!

That's all we need.

Hello!

- Hi. - Hello!

The nomads are back on the beach.

We can't do anything about it. It's a public beach.

I don't care. I don't want them at my party.

We've got a bigger problem. The Daily Mail got hold of this.

This is terrible for our reputation.

What do you mean, your reputation?

No one knows who you are. How bad is it?

I've had the agents on the phone nonstop.

Angelina's definitely not coming. Rihanna's now a maybe.

- They're in breach of contract. - Don't worry. I'll put a call in.

No one reads The Mail online. It's cleavage clickbait.

Yeah, except I'm the tit this time.

- That's nice. - Thank you.

How long did it take?

A day and a half.

- Just for this one arch? - Yes.

J. Io's still good.

Ed Sheeran, probably a no.

- And Harry's a no. - Harry Styles?

Mm-mm. Prince Harry.

- You could get doubles. - That's not a bad idea.

Like kings on the battlefield using decoys.

- Did they? - They did in Shakespeare.

We could put them in the dark. No one would see them. It's...

- Yeah. - In the shadows.

Long lens, backlit, in and out of shot.

That's great. Melanie?

It can work. It can work.

- Thanks, Nick. - Sorry.

It was intended as a joke.

Can't help it if my jokes are so shit,

they get mistaken for serious suggestions.

I do like a, um, tightly stuffed vine leaf.

Hey. Took him a while,

but he's settling down now.

- Beautiful creatures. - Yeah.

- I love their hair. - Yeah.

The mane is actually connected to sexual selection.

- There it is, mate, right there. - Heh-heh-heh.

All right, mate, in a bit.

You wanna fight? Or are you like the Cowardly Lion

from The Wizard of Oz?

Put them up. Put them up.

I was reading about Oedipus on Wikipedia.

The way Sophocles intended.

- Joke. - It said he had to kill his dad

because as a young man, he had been the guest of another king

and had violated the laws of hospitality

by abducting and raping a boy.

And people say EastEnders is dark.

Amanda!

- Here, you look exhausted. - Oh, thanks.

I'm knackered.

We were, um, just talking about Greek tragedy and... And stuff.

How Oedipus killed his father

as punishment for all the terrible things he'd done.

It's more about fate.

Fate because he needs to be killed.

Oh, that was my skin. You just poked my skin.

I look ridiculous.

- You don't. - You look lovely.

Yeah, you look like, uh, Aphrodite's, uh, Irish granny.

You always were a show-off, Ricky.

I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for everyone else.

It's about showing me and us respect.

What is all this about? Gladiators and lions and...

What do you mean? Bread and circuses.

- What people want. They love it. - It must be costing a fortune.

It is. That's the whole point.

To show those bastards.

Now, in 2012, you bought a yacht

costing 100 million pounds. Correct?

Uh, bit more after it was kitted out.

And your clothing lines are endorsed by many celebrities.

Uh, wealthy, beautiful people.

And yet the workers in your factories, 80 percent women,

are paid $5 for a 12-hour day.

I don't own any factories.

I make a deal with the supplier.

It's up to them how they, uh, operate their factory.

Right, but you're very happy to use their factories.

It's the market, with respect.

It's, uh... You know, the same factories

are supplying Zara, H&M, Marks and Spencers.

- "Happy birthday, Sir Richard." - Everyone smile. Yeah?

Okay. Ready?

And one, two, three.

Happy birthday, Sir Richard!

Yeah, great. I bought that.

Hello? Are you filming?

- Well, I'm writing a book. - You're filming. Good story.

- I don't have time. I'm sorry. - Come and see.

Come and see where we live. Come and see.

Well, someone's picking me up in a minute, but...

- I live here. - You live here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

More than hundred people live.

More than a hundred people live here? Right. Yeah.

No running water.

You use the well instead of plumbing, right.

How long have you lived here?

- Fifteen years. - Fifteen years.

And how many hours a day do you work?

Twelve hours.

How much do you get paid for a 12-hour day?

Eight hundred rupees.

- Eight hundred? - Yeah.

That's less than 4 pounds a day, I think.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Bellissimo.

Ah...

Look at that. You can't buy a view like that.

Oh, wait, no, I have.

What have they got to sing about?

Right. The look-alikes.

I can't... I can't... I can't see this.

- It's too sunny. - Oh, hang on.

I've got some printouts. Here.

George Clooney.

He's having a laugh.

It's just a bloke with gray hair.

Samuel I. Jackson. That's just a black man in a curly wig.

That's borderline racist.

Adele. Yeah, she looks like Adele. Johnny Depp.

It's just a bloke in a fucking pirate costume.

We'll bring special makeup artists in.

You'll need a fucking plastic surgeon.

Heh, maybe it should be a masked ball.

Yeah? Who the fuck asked you?

No. Sorry. You're absolutely right.

We need to go to the kitchen. Chef's ready for that tasting.

Oh, God. What are you doing down here?

The workers have stopped. They've done seven days running.

That's the maximum permitted.

Fucking EU fucking health and safety.

They should be grateful they're working,

the state this country's in. Pbbt!

Right. Give me some Roman costumes and a pack of cards.

Do I have to do everything myself?

You want a cup of tea?

- Oh, yeah. I'd love a cup of tea. - Have a seat.

- What do you got? Fruit? - Yeah.

Trying to keep regular.

Counteract the fucking feta.

- Hello. - Hello. Who's in charge?

- It's this guy. This one. - Who?

- You in charge? - You can talk to me.

Okay, right, I want to ask you a question. Uh...

Are you a...?

Are you a gambling man? You like a wager?

We came in so small boat. That's big risk.

Yes. Well, that's a good point. Uh, I've got a proposal for you.

All you have to do is play my game.

And if you win, I'll give...

You can stay here, do what the fuck you like.

I'll give you $100,000 in cash.

Spend it on yourself or your people. Whatever you want.

- And if I lose? - Right.

If you lose, you have to clear off the beach,

and then you have to come work for me, painting.

And, uh, everyone here has to dress up

in these clothes at my party.

- What's your game? - It's called Find the Lady.

- Right? Come. Come here. - Find the Lady.

Come here. Let's play Find the Lady.

Right. All you gotta do is keep your eye on the queen.

Okay, do you want to do a trial run, uh, with Melanie?

- A trial run... - No, thank you.

- We can do it with Sherine. - All right, sweetheart.

Uh, all you gotta do is keep your eye on the queen. Right?

All right, she's moving, she's grooving,

she's moving, she's grooving, she's moving.

Can you find the lady?

Ah, she did it! All right.

- Well done. - Maybe we are more clever.

Yeah, maybe. Okay, your turn. There's a queen.

She's moving, she's grooving, she's moving, she's grooving,

she's moving, she's grooving.

Okay. Find the lady.

- The one in the right. - Sure you don't mean the middle?

No, I told you, the one on the right.

All right. All right.

Oh, and it was the middle one too. Tried to help you.

Never mind. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

All right, go do painting. You go with Melanie.

Clean all this crap off the beach.

- Whoa, you tricked us, man. - No, no, no, mate.

It's a wager. Some you win, some you lose.

Then how much you pay for us?

I didn't mention anything about money.

It's work, man.

What's the minimum wage in Greece?

- Five euros. - Five euros an hour. Not bad.

- And we wear this costume? - Yeah, our guests are arriving.

- You need to look like them. - Why do we need to wear it?

We all have to wear them. All the workers.

- Hey, Amanda. How's it going? - I'm a slave. What do you think?

Right. Well, slaves can always revolt.

If we've learned nothing else from Brexit,

and I'd argue that we haven't,

it's that the voice of the dissatisfied underclass

can still make itself heard.

Shut up, Nick.

No, yeah, f-f-fair comment.

- Are you okay? - No.

Right, look. Look. Do you wanna come in here a minute? Just...

- Thanks. - H-h-have a seat. Um...

And, look, do... Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?

Or it's fine if you don't want to.

You know I told you about my aunt working

- in that factory in Colombo? - Yeah.

Well, my mum worked with her too.

They made clothes for lots of different brands,

including McCreadie.

You know what he's like. He drives a hard bargain.

Everyone does.

- How much for this? - It's $10.

Fuck off.

- Have I got a handle on my head? - What?

Have I got a handle on the side of my head?

What?

I'm asking you in a very clever way

if I look like a fucking mug.

Every year, there would be pressure to reduce prices.

If the price goes down,

the factory still has to make money.

- Everything okay, sir? - Excellent, thank you.

I might even give you a tip.

So, what happens?

The workers have to work faster.

My mum wasn't fast enough for the new targets.

So when she got ill, they took their chance and sacked her.

Well, she got a job in another place,

but it was a right dump.

It was overcrowded and noisy.

Fire!

Fire!

My mum suffocated.

Oh, God.

That's why I came to England.

And now look at me.

I'm Greedy McCreadie's slave,

working at this ridiculous party.

You're only dressed as his slave. You...

You're not actually a slave.

When you bought Monda,

it was part of the Ethical Trading Initiative.

- You pulled it out. - Waste of time.

Would you care to expand on that?

It's a colossal waste of time.

Excuse me.

Is this part of forensic evidence?

- No, sir. - Then why the stinking fuck

is it covered in fingerprints?

Fucking clean this, or it'll become forensic evidence

in your murder investigation.

No more marks on glasses,

or I'll shove them up your asses.

Keith Richards is late.

You'd better mean late as in "dead."

He's on his way. He's just delayed in Athens.

I'm not paying that fossilized shit goblin

$800,000 to be fashionably late.

I'm paying him a dollar a wrinkle

to show that elephant scrotum he calls a face at my party.

- I've broken this. Look at that. - Oh, what?

Stems are made of shit.

Can we get that sorted, please? Take that off. Thanks.

- What's his excuse? - I don't know.

It's your job to know.

It's a know job. Don't say that's sexual harassment

because it rhymes with "blow job."

Call Keith Richards' handlers and tell them

I want him here in one hour

grinning like a tramp who's won the lottery,

which is basically what he is.

Guys, you go now. You need to go. Out of here.

What's going on? Oi, what's going on?

It's the refugees. They're slowing everything down.

Tell them to get out. It's not their party.

Soup kitchen's over! Back to work!

Hey, look. Just calm down.

Just calm down. I'll deal with it.

- Demetrious, stop shouting. - Tell them to go!

Tell them to leave the food and go, please!

- Amanda. Amanda. - Come on. Come on, you.

- You ready to go out and work? - Amanda.

- Was that tasty? - Get them out of here!

There's about five or six of them. I'll introduce you now.

Make sure they don't talk to anyone.

I once had a Gary Glitter look-alike

who just kept bothering people.

Can't get arrested now.

Not something that was a problem for Gary.

Hey, everyone. Sir Richard.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Hello. - Hi, Sir Richard.

Yep, Simon Cowell. He's good.

- Yeah, Simon Cowell there. - Who are you?

- Adele. - Course you are. Yeah.

- Who's the guy with the bandana? - It's Rod Stewart.

Looks like Rod Stewart's bitter older brother.

And who's she?

- Kylie. - Kylie Minogue.

At a push. She'll have to wear a name badge.

- Is that George Michael? - He's amazing.

Apparently, he can sing as well.

George Michael's fucking dead.

I think the agency sent anyone they had on their books.

Well, put the ghost of George Michael

back on a plane to Club Tropicana.

Drinks are not free for him.

I'm tired of these cheeky Greek chancers.

Great.

Oh, and I want the AC set at 68 degrees in every room.

I was at Gareth's party. It failed

and the pillow chocolates melted.

Looked like the tooth fairy was having a dirty protest.

- Babe, how do I look? - You look gorgeous.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius,

commander of the Armies of the North."

Yeah? Keep going.

"General of the Felix Legions,

loyal servant to the true emperor,".

Richus Greedus.

"Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife."

Go south to my troops.

What?!

It's Finn. I...

- I've got you a present. - Go away!

- Go on. Keep going. - Okay. Um...

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius,

- "commander of the Armies..." - Wait. Sorry. I've gone soft.

I've gone soft.

- Oh, Finn. - He's ruined it.

- Sorry. - Oh, fine.

You look like the goddess Aphrodite

rising up from the spume,

only much, much lovelier.

Did Roman women wear stilettos?

So you're excited about the party, yeah?

- I'm excited about Daddy's party. - Great. Great.

Cheers.

Hey. There you go. Oh, you're here, finally.

Adrian. Fucking hell, mate.

- You look great. - You look fantastic.

You look like a gladiator already.

You look like a smashing slave boy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we all know why we are here.

We are here to celebrate the birthday

of a self-made man who worships his creator.

In fact, once the youngest self-made billionaire

in British history, he is now

virtually Britain's oldest man.

Despite the fact that we're here

to celebrate his 60th birthday,

Sir Richard still has his own hips,

his own teeth. At least I think they're teeth.

They're something vaguely resembling teeth, at any rate.

And thank goodness, of course, he has his own marbles.

Uh, which, in true British fashion,

he stole from the Parthenon.

Cue the VT.

Cue the VT.

Press the video. Press the... Play the video.

♪ Look at the stars Look how they shine for you ♪

♪ And all the things You may or may not have done ♪

Rich, it's Chris. Happy birthday.

Hey, Rich. How's it going, man?

I'm sorry I can't make your birthday.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Rich ♪

Hello, Rich. Heartbroken not to be able to make it. Happy 60th.

Hi, Sir Richard. Happy birthday. You're only 60?

Happy birthday, Rich. So sorry I can't make your party,

but I'm sending so much love.

To us.

♪ If they were me If they were me ♪

♪ And I was you And I was you ♪

♪ If they were me If they were me ♪

♪ And I was you And I was you ♪

♪ If they were me And I was you... ♪

Fucking hell.

Clarence?

It's all right. Calm down. Calm down, mate.

That's it. Easy, easy.

- Kiss me. - No, no.

Cathy wants us to kiss.

No, Cathy wants me to tell you I'm gay.

I'm gay. I like men.

♪ Seeing them In my dark cupboard... ♪

A kiss, a kiss! Kiss her!

Kiss! Fuck!

Fucking fuck's sake!

You just ran through the shot, darling.

We're trying to film a romantic scene.

I feel like I'm in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Yeah, and we're the mechanicals.

- It's set in Greece. - Is it?

Right now. Right now.

Kiss! Kiss!

Hey!

♪ Ooh la la ♪

♪ Don't leave me With a heart-shaped scar ♪

♪ When all I need's Your ooh la la ♪

♪ I'm crying, ooh la la ♪

♪ I'm dying, ooh la la... ♪

♪ I'm crying, ooh la la ♪

♪ I'm dying, ooh la la... ♪

Hi.

- Hi, Finn. - Fancy bumping into you here.

Good night, Sir Stephen.

It's just Stephen. I'm not a knight.

Aren't you? My son is.

Yes. Yes, he is.

I need to see what's in the bag.

These are our things. Give me the bag.

- Hey! - Come on, give me!

- What's going on? - Call the police.

These bastards have been stealing!

- They're just children. - Go!

Stop! Call the police.

- I'm not calling the police. - Stop! Stop it! Come back!

- Stop! - Shit. Hey!

Come back!

- Run! - Stop! Stop! Stop it!

Hey, hey. Oi. Put the camera down.

Put the camera down, you sneaky little wanker.

- Stop! - Hey!

Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop, stop!

They stole our cutlery.

- Hey, stop it! - Calm down, stop.

- They need to bring it back. - No worry, no worry.

They need to give... It's our...

I told you stop! Stop!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop it!

- Did you call the police? - No, I didn't. They're just kids.

We are fucking human. We don't need that again.

No, I know. I know.

Kareem. Kareem, listen, please.

We don't need to listen. We don't need to listen.

It's the last. We don't need to talk anymore.

That's finished. We are going to go home now.

It's nice they can be friends.

I mean, they're the same age, after all.

Yeah, all right.

All right. Time-out.

All right, sunshine, time for you to go to bed.

Fuck off, Dad.

Go to bed.

Get!

Finn.

Hi!

Kareem, I just... I wanna help. I'm on your side.

What help you talking about all the time?

Fighting isn't gonna solve anything.

Look, Kareem.

- The police will come, for sure. - Really? We are not thieves.

I know, but the children, they've got the cutlery.

Haven't you?

Do you wanna arrest them?

Do you wanna put them in prison?

Even they lost their father and their mother?

You know, Sherine's mum is my sister in Syria.

I promised her that I would look after her.

- Look at us now, we are slaves. - I know. I know, Kareem.

If they keep the silver, they're gonna get into trouble

and that isn't gonna help them.

I'm going to ask you a question. Answer honestly.

Do you have the cutlery?

Be honest, do you have it?

Give it to me.

I can forgive you.

- Here's your silver. - Thanks, Kareem.

Clarence.

Clarence! Come here.

Shh! Wanna try some of this?

Oi! What are you doing?

Fucking Arab!

Fuck off!

You all right, boy?

Oh, now you wanna eat. Typical.

Bloody Arabs.

Hey.

- You guys want some champagne? - Hey.

- No, thank you. - Yeah, why not?

- Come on. - See you in our suite.

I want to shower and freshen up.

- Don't be too long. - Right.

- Good night, Naomi. - Good night, Samantha.

So, what's a pretty little thing like you

doing all alone on a night like this?

- Francois went to bed. - Did he?

Was thinking of going for a walk.

Why don't you tag along?

I'm so tired, I'm gonna sleep

- until my 60th. - Come on.

Which, as you know, is 40 years away.

- Okay. Good night. - Good night.

Good night.

Grow up.

- I'll be along in a minute. - No, you won't.

Yeah.

Hey. It's all right.

Shh, shh, shh.

You all right, mate?

"I knew a man who once said, 'Death smiles at us all.

All a man can do is smile back.'"

You seen Gladiator?

"When a man sees his end..."

he knows there must be some reason to his life.

How will the world speak my name in the years to come?

Will I be known as a philosopher,

a warrior,

"or a tyrant?"

What's the matter, Clarence?

Fucking hell. All right, mate, I'm on your side.

I'm not afraid. I've never been afraid.

You can smell that, can't you?

You can smell that I'm brave.

I'm like you.

I'm a lion. A lion king.

Lionheart.

Richard the fucking Lionheart.

All right. Just a trip.

Look at me. I'm here.

I'm not trying to escape.

I love you.

I respect you.

But I don't fear you.

I... fear nothing.

Clarence!

Bloody hell. Bloody hell.

Literally bloody hell!

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I... I've never witnessed

big-cat manslaughter before, have I?

I've gotta go.

Clarence!

Oh, shit.

Ambulance. We need... We need an ambulance.

To the amphitheater. Ambulance now!

- Sorry. I must have overslept. - Fuck off, Keith!

Did I miss something?

Police in Mykonos investigating the death

of fashion tycoon Sir Richard McCreadie

believe the death was accidental.

Sir Richard died from injuries sustained

when a lion escaped from its enclosure and mauled him.

In a statement, the McCreadie family said

the incident occurred as celebrations

for Sir Richard's 60th birthday began.

The lion, reportedly called Clarence, has been put down.

Sir Richard had recently faced criticism

following the collapse of M&J...

- Nick, it's Charles here. - Hi, Charles.

Congratu-fucking-lations. We've hit the jackpot.

- Have we? - We have a bidding war

for the serialization rights.

Sunday Times and the Mail.

Mm, I'm not a big fan of the Mail.

- Well, are you a big fan of 100K? - Yes.

Don't worry. Sunday Times has offered 200.

That's enough to keep you in Sugar Puffs

for another six months.

They're Rice Krispies, actually.

Yeah, well, this is manna from heaven.

- What about the family? - I've spoken to the family.

They want you to write it

before anyone else can do a hatchet job on it.

Three, two, one. Cue.

Well, to discuss this, we're joined by Nick Morris,

Sir Richard's official biographer.

Nick, welcome. Thank you for joining us.

You must have known him pretty well.

I suppose I did get to know him well by the end.

- Bring up one next. - What will his legacy be?

Well, he was famous, of course, as the king of the high street,

but he was so many other things.

What was he like as a man?

He was very proud of his immigrant roots.

He was incredibly hard-working. Very direct.

Didn't suffer fools gladly.

What do you think made him so successful?

He wanted to win.

He believed that winning was everything.

- Three next. - And he was willing

to do anything in order to win.

- And three. - Did he go too far, though,

- in his desire to win? - I suppose he felt

that if you want to win, you have to be ruthless.

We're in close-up. What's that looking like?

Darling, keep it together.

Lily. You okay?

- Fuck off! - Really, fuck off.

♪ You're dirty, sweet And you're my girl ♪

♪ Get it on, bang a gong Get it on ♪

♪ Get it on, bang a gong Get it on ♪

Morning.

- Um, I'm here to see Amanda. - I know.

I know why you're here.

She's a good girl. I want you to know that.

I know. That's why I've come.

She's lived with me since she was 7.

Thanks.

- Hello. - Hello.

I, uh, have to, uh, go upstairs, do something.

- Nice to meet you. - And you. Yeah.

Look, I'm sorry I'm late. Uh, my train was delayed.

- I saw you on telly. - Right.

My eulogy.

You were good. Very convincing.

- Sorry. - Why sorry?

I'm writing a book about him, making money out of it.

Well, it's not gonna be the unvarnished truth, is it?

Look, I've gotta go. I've gotta work. Gotta pay the bills.

- Is it okay if I walk with you? - Sure.

It's just around the corner.

I used to work there in the holidays.

- To Rich. - To Rich.

I'm just gonna say a few words.

This is me. This is where I'm working.

Well, bye, then.

You know, the funny thing is, when I pushed that button,

I didn't feel it was me.

I wasn't responsible.

It was fate operating through you.

Maybe.

My hand moved. Then the gate moved.

Then the lion moved. Then McCreadie moved.

They were separate events.

Rich knew that, uh... That legacy was important.

That it was important to leave your business in good hands.

In the hands of the next generation.

Now, Rich and I were the trailblazers,

but you, Lily, Adrian, Finn,

you will guide Monda into a new golden age.

Just gonna say a few words. Just a few words.

Ahem. Hello.

It was a bit like McCreadie paying less

for an item of clothing so people have to work faster.

So some of them lose their jobs.

So they can't feed their children.

He didn't feel it was his fault. He just offered them a price.

Yeah.

I better go.

Bye, then.

Bye.

My dad had big shoes to fill.

I mean, literally. Heh.

As he would often point out,

his feet were two sizes bigger than mine.

He had big feet. Even the lion

couldn't finish them off.

I believe that we're going to build an empire

two sizes bigger

than any the world of retail fashion has seen before.

Move over, H&M.

Watch out, Zara.

We are gonna be hotter,

cooler, faster and cheaper.

We're gonna slaughter them out there.

♪ I work all night I work all day ♪

♪ To pay the bills I have to pay ♪

♪ Ain't it sad? ♪

♪ And still there never Seems to be ♪

♪ A single penny left for me ♪

♪ That's too bad ♪

♪ In my dreams, I have a plan ♪

♪ If I got me a wealthy man ♪

♪ I wouldn't have To work at all ♪

♪ I'd fool around And have a ball ♪

♪ Money, money, money ♪

♪ Must be funny ♪

♪ In the rich man's world ♪

♪ Money, money, money ♪

♪ Always sunny ♪

♪ In the rich man's world ♪

♪ Aha... ♪

♪ All the things I could do ♪

♪ If I had a little money ♪

♪ It's a rich man's world ♪

♪ It's a rich man's world ♪

♪ A man like that Is hard to find ♪

♪ But I can't get him Off my mind ♪

♪ Ain't it sad? ♪

♪ And if he happens To be free ♪

♪ I bet he wouldn't fancy me ♪

♪ That's too bad ♪

♪ So I must leave ♪

♪ I'll have to go ♪

♪ To Las Vegas or Monaco ♪

♪ And win a fortune in a game ♪

♪ My life will never Be the same ♪

♪ Money, money, money ♪

♪ Must be funny ♪

♪ In the rich man's world ♪

♪ Money, money, money ♪

♪ Always sunny ♪

♪ In the rich man's world ♪

♪ Aha... ♪

♪ All the things I could do ♪

♪ If I had a little money ♪

♪ It's a rich man's world ♪

♪ It's a rich man's world ♪