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? ?
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00:00:06,217 --> 00:00:10,131
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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00:00:19,527 --> 00:00:21,893
Okay. Thanks, Mr. Frond.
4
00:00:21,942 --> 00:00:24,443
I'm gonna be the most fun
chaperone you ever worked with.
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00:00:24,522 --> 00:00:26,355
I'll be your one and chaperone-Ly.
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00:00:26,448 --> 00:00:29,099
- (laughs) Oh, he hung up.
- So you're in, Mom?
7
00:00:29,134 --> 00:00:32,523
Yeah. Me and my teeny Tina are
off to the Heroine Conference.
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Heroin Conference?
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00:00:33,673 --> 00:00:35,228
What do you mean, like a jazz concert?
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That really isn't the best name.
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00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:38,196
What would you call
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00:00:38,287 --> 00:00:40,014
a weekend-long empowerment
gathering for girls
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00:00:40,044 --> 00:00:41,961
with speeches from
important female leaders?
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00:00:42,054 --> 00:00:43,059
Sex and the City 3.
15
00:00:43,087 --> 00:00:44,253
Oh, I can't wait.
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00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:45,916
We haven't had special Mama-Tina time
17
00:00:45,957 --> 00:00:47,457
since we got stuck in the elevator
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00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:48,764
at your orthodontist's.
19
00:00:48,804 --> 00:00:51,582
Aw, we thought we were
gonna die, remember?
20
00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:52,566
Yeah.
21
00:00:52,656 --> 00:00:54,467
And, uh, what are we gonna
do while they're gone?
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00:00:54,498 --> 00:00:57,165
Enjoy all that extra room
without their boobs in the way?
23
00:00:57,261 --> 00:00:59,594
Mm... Maybe something
easy that costs nothing?
24
00:00:59,689 --> 00:01:01,605
- Tickle party?
- Eh.
25
00:01:01,698 --> 00:01:04,031
- Armpit farts?
- Hmm, I'd... Yeah, I'd do that.
26
00:01:04,126 --> 00:01:06,209
- (children chattering)
- FROND: Okay, listen up.
27
00:01:06,269 --> 00:01:08,469
- Listen up.
- This is an overnight field trip.
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00:01:08,564 --> 00:01:10,230
And you are teenagers.
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00:01:10,288 --> 00:01:12,572
- So we are not fooling around here.
- Nope.
30
00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:15,875
If you break the rules,
you will be sent home.
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00:01:15,912 --> 00:01:18,265
- That's right.
- Notice this firm, commanding voice?
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00:01:18,326 --> 00:01:19,692
It's my tough voice.
33
00:01:19,783 --> 00:01:21,783
And when ya hear it, ya better fear it.
34
00:01:21,843 --> 00:01:23,604
So let's hear it. Let's
hear that tough voice.
35
00:01:23,635 --> 00:01:25,685
- Come on.
- What? I just did it. That-that was it.
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00:01:25,778 --> 00:01:27,623
- That was... That was the tough...
- Oh. That was it.
37
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,153
- That was it right there.
- That was it.
38
00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:30,327
Oh, my God, Tammy,
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I'm so glad we're rooming together.
40
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,008
Me, too. We're gonna stay up late
41
00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:35,483
and pretend it's our apartment
42
00:01:35,524 --> 00:01:37,357
and we're so tired of the dating scene.
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00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,283
Who are you rooming with, Tina?
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00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:40,925
I'm rooming with a cool, older girl
45
00:01:41,016 --> 00:01:42,549
who happens to be married to my dad.
46
00:01:42,607 --> 00:01:44,807
- The bus driver?
- No, my mom.
47
00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:46,318
- Me! Up top.
- Here you go.
48
00:01:46,408 --> 00:01:47,574
(sarcastically): Cool.
49
00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:49,247
- Yeah.
- Very cool.
50
00:01:49,339 --> 00:01:51,138
All right, people, as many of you know,
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00:01:51,231 --> 00:01:52,575
this year's Heroine Conference keynote
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00:01:52,604 --> 00:01:55,939
is being delivered by none
other than Bernadette Baker.
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00:01:56,004 --> 00:01:57,703
- Who's she?
- She's an astronaut
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00:01:57,795 --> 00:01:59,990
who flew two missions to the
International Space Station
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00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:01,772
and is also a black belt in karate.
56
00:02:01,814 --> 00:02:04,314
- We're reading her book in class.
- Ooh.
57
00:02:04,376 --> 00:02:06,243
She's so mad at the Moon. I love it.
58
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,135
Linda, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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00:02:08,177 --> 00:02:09,760
Here's something fun and mandatory...
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00:02:09,852 --> 00:02:12,019
Write down one question for Ms. Baker.
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00:02:12,112 --> 00:02:13,862
If the conference people
pick your question,
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00:02:13,954 --> 00:02:16,254
you'll get to ask it
yourself during the Q&A.
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00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:17,965
Whoa. Did you hear that, Mom?
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00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:19,541
Huh? What? No.
65
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,492
I-I'm a chaperone, I don't
have to listen to him.
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00:02:22,713 --> 00:02:24,295
There's our guy.
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00:02:24,387 --> 00:02:26,470
So... (sighs) no dames tonight.
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00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,263
Just us boys. So what are we doing?
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00:02:28,321 --> 00:02:29,821
Yeah, wow us, Pops.
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00:02:29,912 --> 00:02:31,278
Uh, we could watch a movie.
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00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:32,703
Maybe, like, a guy movie?
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00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:34,292
Hmm. Like what?
73
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:35,767
Magic Mike? Finally?
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00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,023
Maybe. Maybe not.
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00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:38,446
Maybe something else.
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00:02:38,486 --> 00:02:40,069
Great. Let's close up this slop shop
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00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,243
and get to it.
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00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,966
We're not closing early, Louise.
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00:02:43,008 --> 00:02:45,175
Why not? The only person
who comes in here is Teddy,
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00:02:45,235 --> 00:02:47,318
and you can just leave
his burger on the sidewalk.
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00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:49,411
- Yeah, like Mom does.
- Wait, what?
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00:02:49,505 --> 00:02:50,587
She puts 'em on a plate.
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00:02:50,677 --> 00:02:51,843
It's called class.
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00:02:54,897 --> 00:02:56,897
Wow. I've never seen
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00:02:56,957 --> 00:02:58,874
so many girls my age
in one place before.
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00:02:58,916 --> 00:03:00,966
That's because we don't
tell you where we hang out.
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00:03:01,059 --> 00:03:03,426
(both laughing)
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00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,404
It's not the mall.
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00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:06,757
Okay, do I have everyone's questions
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00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,169
for the astronaut?
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00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,510
Let's see. Tammy Larson asks,
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00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:12,437
"How do you poop in space?"
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00:03:12,479 --> 00:03:13,812
It's a serious question.
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00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,652
How does anyone poop anywhere?
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00:03:15,745 --> 00:03:17,661
Okay. "How do you pee in space?"
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00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:19,554
"How do you poop in space?" Another pee.
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00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:22,014
"How do aliens poop?" Okay, here we go.
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00:03:22,075 --> 00:03:24,025
"Who inspired you to go to space?"
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00:03:24,117 --> 00:03:26,034
A thoughtful question from Tina.
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00:03:26,127 --> 00:03:27,627
- Thanks, Mr. Frond.
- (exhales)
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00:03:27,718 --> 00:03:29,233
Glad we didn't go with
the poop question, huh?
102
00:03:29,263 --> 00:03:30,167
I know.
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00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:32,230
Mrs. Belcher, would you
mind getting us checked in?
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00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:34,540
Sure. Check me out, getting checked in.
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Nice, Mom.
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What chapter are you on?
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00:03:39,607 --> 00:03:41,240
Uh, the one before she goes to space
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00:03:41,282 --> 00:03:42,698
but after she started karate.
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00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:44,088
That's a good one.
110
00:03:44,128 --> 00:03:46,462
I'm Tina. But my friends call me Blaze.
111
00:03:47,274 --> 00:03:48,809
They don't. I don't
know why I said that.
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(chuckles) I'm Dillon.
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I hear that.
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00:03:52,159 --> 00:03:54,466
Sorry. I don't know
why I said that, either.
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It's okay.
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00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,934
(sighs): I get this way on field trips.
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00:03:58,027 --> 00:03:59,660
I get it. When I went to camp,
118
00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:02,252
I said my name was Dallas,
and I was from Houston.
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00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:03,680
I hear that.
120
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,240
- Hey, it kind of worked that time.
- Yeah.
121
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,228
Okay, it looks like your block of rooms
122
00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:08,953
is good to go.
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00:04:08,985 --> 00:04:10,806
Make sure to join us
for the buffet breakfast
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00:04:10,837 --> 00:04:12,753
by our beautiful water feature.
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00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:15,097
LINDA: Ooh, water feature.
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00:04:15,192 --> 00:04:16,858
Smells like chlorine. Nice!
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00:04:16,949 --> 00:04:19,962
Now, for your room, would
you like one key or two?
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00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,297
Two. For me and my daughter slash BFF.
129
00:04:22,391 --> 00:04:24,608
- We're roomies.
- That's so sweet.
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00:04:24,653 --> 00:04:26,486
Enjoy it while it lasts.
131
00:04:26,578 --> 00:04:28,161
Right? Wait, what?
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00:04:28,253 --> 00:04:29,585
Hi, I'm Amy.
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00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:31,008
I'm a chaperone this weekend.
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00:04:31,065 --> 00:04:32,515
Hi. Me, too. Linda.
135
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,740
What do you mean, "Enjoy
it while it lasts"?
136
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,366
Well, how old's your daughter?
137
00:04:36,457 --> 00:04:37,590
Thirteen.
138
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,096
Oh. Yeah.
139
00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:40,971
My daughter's 13, too.
140
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,229
When we started the year,
she let me talk to her.
141
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,539
And be seen with her.
142
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:45,796
And chew food around her.
143
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,501
You can't chew food around her?
144
00:04:47,594 --> 00:04:49,344
To be fair, I chew weird.
145
00:04:49,436 --> 00:04:50,485
I chew weird.
146
00:04:50,574 --> 00:04:51,774
Really weird.
147
00:04:51,864 --> 00:04:53,280
Aw, but Tina's Tina.
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00:04:53,371 --> 00:04:55,170
She's Mama's little girl.
149
00:04:55,263 --> 00:04:57,513
That's your daughter? She's
talking to my daughter.
150
00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:59,487
(gasps) They're coming
over here. How do I look?
151
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,116
- Mom, can I...
- Mom, I want to...
152
00:05:01,157 --> 00:05:02,540
- Wait, is that... ?
- Oh, are you... ?
153
00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:04,797
This is your mom, too? Are we sisters?
154
00:05:04,842 --> 00:05:06,174
This is fun.
155
00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:08,515
The chaperone-ettes find
each other in a crowd.
156
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,609
- Hi, Dillon!
- No, thanks.
157
00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:11,079
Okay! (laughs nervously)
158
00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:13,588
Mom, Dillon and I were wondering
if we could room together?
159
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:16,350
What? Room together? What?
160
00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:17,861
I was gonna have a room to myself,
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00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,402
but this'll be more fun.
162
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,076
Oh, then I could room with you, Linda.
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00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:22,384
I was gonna drive home tonight
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00:05:22,424 --> 00:05:23,784
and then drive back in the morning.
165
00:05:23,847 --> 00:05:25,230
It's just four hours away.
166
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:27,938
Tina, what about our
mommy-daughter weekend?
167
00:05:28,034 --> 00:05:29,250
Mom, please?
168
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:32,123
Uh, okay. Sure. But if
you change your mind,
169
00:05:32,220 --> 00:05:33,914
- I'll be right here in the...
- Yay! Thanks, Mom.
170
00:05:33,944 --> 00:05:36,311
Welcome to the Rejected Moms Club.
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00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:37,953
It's probably a joke. Yeah, and...
172
00:05:37,984 --> 00:05:38,443
(elevator bell dings)
173
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:39,942
Tina's gonna come back
any second and say,
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00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,590
"Not!" Or "Psyche!"
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00:05:41,681 --> 00:05:42,980
- (elevator bell dings)
- See?
176
00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:44,904
? There's my little girl. ?
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00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,500
I accidentally pushed the "door
open" button. Bye, Mom.
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00:05:47,535 --> 00:05:49,104
- (bell dings)
- Oh.
179
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,953
So, two chaperones sharing a room.
180
00:05:53,988 --> 00:05:55,388
Do you snore? 'Cause I snore.
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00:05:55,461 --> 00:05:56,961
It would be fun if we both snored.
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00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,302
I can't believe Tina ditched me
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00:05:58,376 --> 00:05:59,958
for some girl she just met.
184
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,801
Eh, they'll like us again
by the time they're 30.
185
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:04,745
Get a hobby. I scrapbook.
186
00:06:04,777 --> 00:06:06,729
That's Dillon's report card.
187
00:06:06,761 --> 00:06:08,998
That's a thing she dropped in the car.
188
00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:10,959
Huh. Lot of pictures of her sleeping.
189
00:06:11,052 --> 00:06:13,135
Mm-hmm. It's almost as good
190
00:06:13,229 --> 00:06:15,863
as actually hanging out with
Dillon and talking to her.
191
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:19,910
- Right. That's not completely sad.
- No, it is.
192
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,311
Okay. Uh, I'm gonna go check on Tina.
193
00:06:22,405 --> 00:06:24,772
You sure you don't want
to scrap it out with me?
194
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,449
- Aah...
- Little scrap sesh?
195
00:06:26,541 --> 00:06:28,925
- No...
- I have scalloping shears.
196
00:06:28,969 --> 00:06:30,302
- Snip, snip.
- Uh...
197
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,311
No. No, thanks. No snip, snip.
198
00:06:33,407 --> 00:06:34,555
BOB: Okay.
199
00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:36,647
Guy movies. Uh, I've got
a young Clint Eastwood.
200
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,341
Nice.
201
00:06:37,369 --> 00:06:39,154
- I've got middle-aged Charles Bronson.
- Yes.
202
00:06:39,184 --> 00:06:41,100
- And I've got old Michael Caine.
- Mm.
203
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,526
And I've got Bachelor Party,
204
00:06:42,617 --> 00:06:44,116
which is probably not appropriate.
205
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:46,492
Tom Hanks in the '80s?
Please and Hank you.
206
00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:48,768
Well, at least that's
got "party" in the title.
207
00:06:48,863 --> 00:06:51,230
What even happens at a
bachelor party, anyway?
208
00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:52,644
Like, what happened at yours, Dad?
209
00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:54,163
Uh, I'm not sure I had one.
210
00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:55,504
That good, huh?
211
00:06:55,594 --> 00:06:57,144
Oh, my God. This is perfect.
212
00:06:57,235 --> 00:06:59,152
- Wait. What's perfect?
- Don't you see?
213
00:06:59,245 --> 00:07:00,411
This is the Mom-less,
214
00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:02,584
Tina-free fun we've been looking for.
215
00:07:02,627 --> 00:07:04,210
Dad, we're gonna give you
216
00:07:04,302 --> 00:07:06,469
the bachelor party you never had.
217
00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:08,279
A dad-chelor party.
218
00:07:08,321 --> 00:07:10,454
Guys, no. I don't want a bachelor party.
219
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,309
- I don't need one at all.
- BOTH: Dad-chelor party!
220
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:13,589
One last night of fun
221
00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:16,147
before you marry that old bag Linda.
222
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,563
Hi, Mom.
223
00:07:18,592 --> 00:07:19,674
Uh, what's up?
224
00:07:19,703 --> 00:07:21,340
Just checking in.
225
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:22,722
- Oh, wh...
- Yeah, whatcha doing?
226
00:07:22,806 --> 00:07:23,721
What's this?
227
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:24,893
Reading tarot cards.
228
00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:26,149
Which I have done before.
229
00:07:26,239 --> 00:07:27,321
As you well know.
230
00:07:27,411 --> 00:07:29,411
Ooh, tarot cards, freaky.
231
00:07:29,471 --> 00:07:30,970
Come on, deal me in. What's wild?
232
00:07:31,062 --> 00:07:33,010
Uh, Mom, it doesn't work that way.
233
00:07:33,042 --> 00:07:34,153
Good chaperoning, though.
234
00:07:34,243 --> 00:07:35,587
I think we're all set here. Good night.
235
00:07:35,616 --> 00:07:37,616
Oh, I get what's going on.
236
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,342
You think the mean, pretty chaperone
237
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:41,468
came to crack down on your fun.
238
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,944
Well, I left my
chaperone hat in my room.
239
00:07:43,988 --> 00:07:45,905
My room key, too. I forgot my room key.
240
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,359
- Ha. Good one, Linda. Ha.
- Well, sounds like
241
00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:48,548
you got a lot going on, so...
242
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,348
Hey, I got an idea.
243
00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:52,175
How about we get out
of this stuffy old room
244
00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:53,944
and do something really fun?
245
00:07:54,036 --> 00:07:56,620
But Mr. Frond said if we leave
the room we'll get sent home.
246
00:07:56,716 --> 00:07:59,324
Aw, don't worry about Mr. No-Fun Frond.
247
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:00,584
You're with me.
248
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,818
Wow, Tina. Your mom's... a lot.
249
00:08:03,915 --> 00:08:06,666
That's right, random new friend.
250
00:08:06,763 --> 00:08:08,095
Come on, let's do it!
251
00:08:08,152 --> 00:08:10,102
Fun, right?
252
00:08:10,196 --> 00:08:11,945
We're walking around.
253
00:08:12,037 --> 00:08:14,254
Ooh, look, someone got room service.
254
00:08:14,298 --> 00:08:16,932
Mom, this was nice but I think
Dillon and I should go back now.
255
00:08:16,977 --> 00:08:19,561
Why? We haven't even
gotten to the fun part yet.
256
00:08:19,657 --> 00:08:21,540
What is the fun part?
257
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:24,333
The fun part, Dillon, is we're gonna...
258
00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:26,846
take the fries and spell out "hello."
259
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,858
In fries! Ha! Great prank.
260
00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:31,334
And that's a prank because... ?
261
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,098
Well, if you don't get
it, you don't get it.
262
00:08:33,571 --> 00:08:35,188
LOUISE: Another round
of shots, gentlemen?
263
00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:36,790
Ugh. I think I've had
all the apple juice
264
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:37,903
I can stomach, Louise.
265
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,242
That's a yes. Gene?
266
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,666
Yeah! Speeches! Speeches!
267
00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:44,094
Let me tell you something
about this son of a bitch.
268
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:45,438
Gene's cut off. No speech.
269
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:46,577
Oh, boo.
270
00:08:46,617 --> 00:08:47,533
Having a good time, Dad?
271
00:08:47,621 --> 00:08:48,870
Oh, yeah.
272
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:50,488
- Should we call it a night?
- (doorbell rings)
273
00:08:50,518 --> 00:08:52,468
- I'll get it!
- Oh, no. Who's at the door?
274
00:08:52,562 --> 00:08:56,063
Maybe somebody ordered a sexy surprise?
275
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,711
- (door opens)
- TEDDY: Bachelor party!
276
00:08:57,802 --> 00:08:59,612
- You invited Teddy?
- We kept it small.
277
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,072
What, do you want to
go wide with this list?
278
00:09:01,101 --> 00:09:03,818
Make room on the couch, Bob. Make room.
279
00:09:03,865 --> 00:09:05,781
Uh... Louise, pour me one.
280
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,228
- Hit me.
- Bam. Here's one.
281
00:09:07,258 --> 00:09:08,356
Give me another one.
282
00:09:08,385 --> 00:09:09,718
I got to catch up. (gulps)
283
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:12,930
There it goes.
284
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,545
Soda in the elevator.
285
00:09:14,576 --> 00:09:16,087
Yup. There it goes.
286
00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:17,284
Perfect prank.
287
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:19,425
(yawning): Oh, yawn.
288
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:20,717
Dillon, are you yawning?
289
00:09:20,807 --> 00:09:22,106
I think we're both yawning.
290
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:23,396
(yawning): Oh, yeah.
291
00:09:23,453 --> 00:09:24,986
Maybe we should both go to bed.
292
00:09:25,077 --> 00:09:26,710
Bed? What?
293
00:09:26,751 --> 00:09:28,783
But the most fun part
hasn't happened yet.
294
00:09:28,816 --> 00:09:30,655
We're gonna, uh... Huh.
295
00:09:30,687 --> 00:09:31,936
Mom? What are you doing?
296
00:09:31,993 --> 00:09:34,277
I don't know, what am I doing?
297
00:09:34,337 --> 00:09:36,231
Just popping the top off
this little bottle of shampoo,
298
00:09:36,263 --> 00:09:38,297
and, uh... (grunts)
299
00:09:38,356 --> 00:09:39,305
- TINA: Mom, no!
- Whoa.
300
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,915
It's fun! You do it.
301
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:42,818
I don't... really want to.
302
00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:44,293
What about you, Dillon? Huh?
303
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:46,135
Better than tarot cards, right?
304
00:09:46,176 --> 00:09:49,010
Uh, I don't know if you
can really compare the two?
305
00:09:49,107 --> 00:09:51,240
Aw, party sham-poopers.
306
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,783
It's starting to foam.
307
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:54,207
Come on, get in on this.
308
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:55,597
HOTEL MANAGER: Our water feature!
309
00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:58,889
Is someone throwing shampoo
into our water feature? No!
310
00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:00,131
Okay. Uh, uh, okay. All right.
311
00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:01,074
Let's go. Let's go. Just go.
312
00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:02,567
Oh, Mr. Frond!
313
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,086
- Linda.
- Oh, no.
314
00:10:04,144 --> 00:10:06,895
Yeah. As in, "Oh, no, you didn't."
315
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,990
Eh, at least he didn't
do his tough voice.
316
00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,200
That was my tough voice.
317
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:11,339
Yeah, no, yeah.
318
00:10:11,428 --> 00:10:12,794
(dance music playing)
319
00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:14,101
? Eh, ah, ooh, ah. ?
320
00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:16,642
Gene, seriously, no
more apple juice for you.
321
00:10:16,704 --> 00:10:18,298
I can't believe you're
getting married, Bobby!
322
00:10:18,328 --> 00:10:19,627
- (crying)
- (phone ringing)
323
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:21,383
Teddy, maybe take it down a notch.
324
00:10:21,475 --> 00:10:23,676
Hello? Sorry, I, uh, I can't hear you.
325
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,153
Guys, turn the music down!
326
00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:26,664
- I heard, "Turn it up"?
- (volume increases)
327
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:29,118
- Bob?
- Linda? Is everything okay?
328
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,712
I need you to come here.
329
00:10:30,803 --> 00:10:32,102
What? You're two hours away.
330
00:10:32,193 --> 00:10:33,225
What's going on?
331
00:10:33,281 --> 00:10:34,458
Uh, there's been some trouble,
332
00:10:34,486 --> 00:10:36,486
and someone's getting sent home.
333
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:37,996
(sighs) Sorry, I can't hear you.
334
00:10:38,087 --> 00:10:39,503
Guys, volume.
335
00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:40,977
Pressing bass boost.
336
00:10:41,068 --> 00:10:42,484
Tina's being sent home?
337
00:10:42,574 --> 00:10:43,940
Uh, someone else.
338
00:10:44,032 --> 00:10:45,665
Guys, please! Sorry, Lin,
339
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:47,539
we're having a bachelor party.
340
00:10:47,632 --> 00:10:48,931
He's getting cold feet, Mom.
341
00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:50,888
This phone call's not helping.
342
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,531
- I said...
- Aah! (music stops)
343
00:10:52,622 --> 00:10:54,712
I got in trouble and
I'm getting sent home!
344
00:10:54,745 --> 00:10:56,666
- Oh, my God.
- I dance-kicked the stereo.
345
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,672
Oh you're on the phone. Sorry, Bob.
346
00:11:00,475 --> 00:11:03,600
(sighs) Thanks for waiting
for your dad with me, Tina.
347
00:11:03,942 --> 00:11:06,109
Ha. It's not the silent treatment,
348
00:11:06,203 --> 00:11:07,619
if that's what you're thinking.
349
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,543
She's probably just trying to come up
350
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,752
with the perfect little
joke to lighten up the mood.
351
00:11:11,846 --> 00:11:13,298
Sometimes it takes her hours.
352
00:11:13,328 --> 00:11:16,654
- Hi, everyone. This is... awkward.
- LOUISE: You think?
353
00:11:16,752 --> 00:11:18,502
GENE: I don't know, I'm liking the vibe.
354
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,606
Now that your ride is here,
I'm going to get some rest.
355
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:22,166
I suggest you do the same, Tina.
356
00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:24,258
You're gonna be talking to
Bernadette Baker tomorrow.
357
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:26,571
What? Tina, they picked your question?
358
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:27,998
Why didn't you tell me?
359
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,533
I wanted to, Mom, but you were too busy
360
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,979
embarrassing me and being crazy!
361
00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:32,299
(laughs nervously)
362
00:11:32,329 --> 00:11:34,659
I'm not sure that lightened the mood.
363
00:11:34,704 --> 00:11:36,370
Linda, what did you do, exactly?
364
00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:39,350
- Nothing. It was nothing.
- It wasn't nothing.
365
00:11:39,386 --> 00:11:41,537
We have a beautiful water
feature in our courtyard
366
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:44,354
and your wife threw
shampoo bottles into it.
367
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:46,249
The courtyard is covered in lather.
368
00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:49,059
I guess we're calling anything
a courtyard these days, huh?
369
00:11:49,104 --> 00:11:51,605
Please remove your wife.
She is no longer welcome here
370
00:11:51,639 --> 00:11:53,312
at the Brewster Courtyard Gardens Hotel.
371
00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:55,102
But your motto is "You're always welcome
372
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,310
at the Brewster
Courtyard Gardens Hotel."
373
00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,538
- Not you! Not anymore.
- Mom?
374
00:11:59,571 --> 00:12:01,710
- Yes, sweetie?
- You should just go.
375
00:12:01,743 --> 00:12:04,944
- You really embarrassed me tonight.
- Tina, no. I'm going to bed.
376
00:12:04,981 --> 00:12:08,597
I can't remember which room I'm in,
but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.
377
00:12:08,923 --> 00:12:11,424
She's gonna be wandering
around up there all night.
378
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:13,840
LOUISE: Yep. She
belongs to the hotel now.
379
00:12:14,357 --> 00:12:17,141
Embarrassed her? I embarrassed her?
380
00:12:17,176 --> 00:12:19,371
Dad, we're not driving all
the way back tonight, are we?
381
00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:20,997
I mean, (scoffs) it's after midnight.
382
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,555
Well, it's not like we can stay here.
383
00:12:22,595 --> 00:12:24,318
Your mom is banned. A lot.
384
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:27,268
Hello? There's a motel
right across the street.
385
00:12:27,304 --> 00:12:28,253
- Ugh.
- Yes!
386
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,038
Every good dad-chelor party
387
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,737
ends at a motel just like that.
388
00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:34,135
Well, I am really tired.
389
00:12:34,169 --> 00:12:36,169
There's the party animal.
390
00:12:36,436 --> 00:12:37,886
(light crackling)
391
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:40,167
(sighs)
392
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,761
It's not like Tina to
blow me off like that.
393
00:12:42,857 --> 00:12:44,189
She didn't mean anything by it.
394
00:12:44,219 --> 00:12:45,502
I mean, she definitely meant it.
395
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,480
But she won't tomorrow. As much.
396
00:12:47,512 --> 00:12:48,594
I mean, let's sleep.
397
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,717
We should just sleep.
398
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,773
No way! Bachelor party rules:
399
00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:53,733
you can pass out but you can't sleep.
400
00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:55,161
Fine, I'm passing out.
401
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,749
Then I guess you're cool
with your face being drawn on.
402
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,310
Mm... if it's tasteful.
403
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,206
- Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
- Oh, yeah.
404
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,404
(snoring)
405
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,473
(muttering fitfully)
406
00:13:06,277 --> 00:13:07,910
_
407
00:13:07,941 --> 00:13:09,057
LINDA: There she is.
408
00:13:09,086 --> 00:13:10,802
My teeny Tina.
409
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,417
(baby noises)
410
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,524
Aw.
411
00:13:14,556 --> 00:13:16,973
Tina, Wha... what's going on?
412
00:13:17,018 --> 00:13:18,379
You're embarrassing me, Mom!
413
00:13:18,409 --> 00:13:19,525
What the... ?
414
00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:21,170
(panting)
415
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,652
Tina. Don't run away from Mommy.
416
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:25,016
(grunting)
417
00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:26,272
(yells)
418
00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:27,999
Hi, Linda!
419
00:13:28,031 --> 00:13:30,481
Want to borrow my scalloping shears?
420
00:13:30,515 --> 00:13:31,798
(echoing): Shears, shears...
421
00:13:31,828 --> 00:13:34,495
No... !
422
00:13:34,902 --> 00:13:36,484
(gasps) Scalloping shears!
423
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:38,609
(exhales) I'm losing Tina.
424
00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:41,120
Mm... I want scallops.
425
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:45,184
BOB: I got most of the pen off my face.
426
00:13:45,219 --> 00:13:46,635
Thanks, guys, for that.
427
00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,468
Wait'll you see what
we wrote on your back.
428
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:49,999
Lin, you coming?
429
00:13:50,056 --> 00:13:52,323
What if... Hear me out for a second...
430
00:13:52,401 --> 00:13:54,634
- This is gonna be good.
- Mm-hmm.
431
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,700
What if, instead of going home,
432
00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:59,400
we sneak into the hotel to
see Tina ask her question
433
00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:00,700
to the lady astronaut?
434
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:02,916
Oh. Not as good as I
thought it was gonna be.
435
00:14:02,949 --> 00:14:05,192
Linda, that's a really bad idea.
436
00:14:05,226 --> 00:14:07,660
We should probably give Tina
some breathing room right now.
437
00:14:07,694 --> 00:14:08,942
I'm losing her, Bob.
438
00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,502
I need to get into that conference.
439
00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:12,592
But you're not allowed
back in the hotel.
440
00:14:12,773 --> 00:14:15,070
Well... I could wear a disguise.
441
00:14:15,164 --> 00:14:17,031
- A disguise?
- I'm back on board.
442
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,124
See? That's why you're
gonna marry this gal.
443
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:20,716
You really want to do this?
444
00:14:20,774 --> 00:14:22,140
I need to do this.
445
00:14:22,231 --> 00:14:25,566
Okay, red flags all over the place,
446
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:28,391
but let's go get you a disguise.
447
00:14:28,427 --> 00:14:30,094
Let's see, we've got sunglasses,
448
00:14:30,185 --> 00:14:32,652
but that's a little boring.
How about a bandanna?
449
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,748
They come in camouflage
or pink camouflage.
450
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,207
- Pink camouflage.
- Mother, good choice.
451
00:14:37,301 --> 00:14:39,385
Great choice. May I make a suggestion?
452
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,230
This T-shirt makes it look
like you're wearing a bikini.
453
00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:43,408
That's pretty good.
454
00:14:43,437 --> 00:14:45,332
- It's perfect.
- We'll take two.
455
00:14:47,601 --> 00:14:48,933
How do I look?
456
00:14:49,024 --> 00:14:50,740
Like someone who swallows cigarettes
457
00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,282
for free drinks at bars.
458
00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:56,341
BOB: All right. It says Bernadette
Baker goes on in 15 minutes.
459
00:14:56,391 --> 00:14:58,692
An astronaut and a karate expert?
460
00:14:58,736 --> 00:14:59,702
Pick a lane.
461
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:01,074
(gasps)
462
00:15:01,131 --> 00:15:02,247
LINDA: That's her.
463
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:03,218
What?
464
00:15:03,258 --> 00:15:05,202
Uh, I got to... pee.
465
00:15:05,234 --> 00:15:08,268
Uh, you guys find seats,
and I'll be right back.
466
00:15:08,803 --> 00:15:09,935
Huh.
467
00:15:11,781 --> 00:15:12,963
- (clears throat)
- Oh, Louise.
468
00:15:13,053 --> 00:15:14,436
What are you up to, Mom?
469
00:15:14,476 --> 00:15:16,643
(laughs nervously): What? Nothing.
470
00:15:16,703 --> 00:15:18,798
Okay, fine, I'll tell you,
but don't tell your father.
471
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,464
I can't get through to
Tina, but you know what can?
472
00:15:21,509 --> 00:15:23,059
Some strong heroine.
473
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:24,745
Now you go to the
seats and cover for me.
474
00:15:24,775 --> 00:15:26,107
Mama's going backstage.
475
00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:27,698
- Wait, wait, Mom.
- What?
476
00:15:27,755 --> 00:15:30,559
Price tag. You would
have looked ridiculous.
477
00:15:32,978 --> 00:15:33,844
Uh-oh.
478
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:36,121
Bernadette Baker's
keynote is in ten minutes.
479
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:38,106
Tina, since you're asking a question
480
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,470
you should sit by the aisle.
481
00:15:39,494 --> 00:15:41,527
Okay. Uh, can I sit
with my friend Dillon?
482
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:42,753
She's from another school.
483
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,041
She's from another school.
484
00:15:44,099 --> 00:15:46,599
Yeah, we get it. You made a friend.
485
00:15:46,694 --> 00:15:48,478
FROND: Yeah, Tina, we get it.
486
00:15:48,785 --> 00:15:50,069
(gasps) Good morning.
487
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,242
(in deep voice): Hey.
488
00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:52,749
How are you enjoying your stay?
489
00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:55,089
Oh, fine, fine. Great fountain.
490
00:15:55,151 --> 00:15:56,433
Thank you.
491
00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:59,108
Zero gravity. Zero fear.
492
00:15:59,203 --> 00:16:00,203
Bernadette,
493
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:01,791
you are cleared for takeoff.
494
00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:02,798
- Excuse me.
- (shouts)
495
00:16:02,854 --> 00:16:04,220
(grunting)
496
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,810
(muffled): Are you Bernadette Baker?
497
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,818
Ooh, sorry, you're just a lady.
498
00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:09,827
I thought you were my sensei testing me.
499
00:16:09,859 --> 00:16:11,488
He wears that bandanna as well.
500
00:16:13,269 --> 00:16:14,852
- Where's your mom?
- You know Mom.
501
00:16:14,901 --> 00:16:16,317
She loves her hotel bathrooms.
502
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:18,334
And they fear her.
503
00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:19,959
I still can't believe your mom.
504
00:16:20,051 --> 00:16:23,052
Those were some crazy,
smother-mother moves last night.
505
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,983
Yeah. As Bernadette would
say, "Give me some space."
506
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,547
Ugh, my mom's trying
to invade my eye space.
507
00:16:28,591 --> 00:16:30,341
- Uh?
- Uh-uh.
508
00:16:30,433 --> 00:16:32,350
- Uh? Uh?
- No, not happening.
509
00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:34,492
So, that's not a bikini?
510
00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:35,918
No. I'm in a disguise.
511
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,792
- Okay.
- My real identity?
512
00:16:37,851 --> 00:16:40,352
Well, let's just say I'm
a mother with a daughter.
513
00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:42,280
- You're a mother, right?
- I am not a mother.
514
00:16:42,322 --> 00:16:43,967
I thought it said you
were a mother in your book.
515
00:16:43,997 --> 00:16:44,997
It did not say that.
516
00:16:45,052 --> 00:16:46,334
I did not read it.
517
00:16:46,425 --> 00:16:49,226
I think I-I have to go on now.
518
00:16:49,322 --> 00:16:51,155
- Wait, wait. Listen, Bernadette.
- Mm?
519
00:16:51,198 --> 00:16:53,698
At the end of your speech,
my daughter is gonna ask
520
00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:55,509
who inspired you to go to space,
521
00:16:55,551 --> 00:16:57,968
and I need you to say, "My mother."
522
00:16:58,002 --> 00:17:00,052
I'm sorry, you want me to do what?
523
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,217
My daughter doesn't
understand the importance
524
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,966
of a mommy-daughter relationship.
525
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,807
She thinks I'm embarrassing.
526
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:06,960
(sarcastically): That's crazy.
527
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:08,354
Why would she think that?
528
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,280
I know. Listen, you
can set her straight.
529
00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:13,125
Ms. Baker? They're ready for you.
530
00:17:13,217 --> 00:17:14,466
I have to go now,
531
00:17:14,557 --> 00:17:15,856
and I want to go.
532
00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:17,552
- Hey, look at me.
- Hmm?
533
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:19,550
- I like you, too.
- Sure.
534
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,798
It's my pleasure to introduce
535
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,342
this year's Heroine
Conference keynote speaker,
536
00:17:24,404 --> 00:17:26,571
a woman who is truly out of this world,
537
00:17:26,725 --> 00:17:28,174
Bernadette Baker.
538
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:29,565
- (scattered applause)
- Uh, thank you.
539
00:17:29,595 --> 00:17:32,178
Thank you so much for being here today.
540
00:17:32,224 --> 00:17:34,724
And thank you to myself,
which is also important.
541
00:17:35,101 --> 00:17:36,953
So, in conclusion,
542
00:17:37,047 --> 00:17:41,215
outer space, determination and karate.
543
00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:43,016
Thank you. Thank you.
544
00:17:43,108 --> 00:17:44,074
(shouts)
545
00:17:44,113 --> 00:17:46,113
Wow, I am inspired.
546
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:48,173
- Are you inspired?
- Are you crying?
547
00:17:48,265 --> 00:17:50,632
- Absolutely, yeah.
- Time for the Q&A.
548
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,026
If your question was picked,
549
00:17:52,117 --> 00:17:54,067
please line up behind
one of the microphones.
550
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,376
Okay. Here it comes.
551
00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:56,683
- What?
- Nothing, nothing.
552
00:17:56,713 --> 00:17:57,755
Okay.
553
00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,489
If you were going to space again
554
00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:03,575
and you could only bring
one CD, what would it be?
555
00:18:03,611 --> 00:18:06,172
Dave Matthews Band, Live At
Red Rocks. Great question.
556
00:18:06,217 --> 00:18:10,186
No one's from Mars, no one's
from Venus, end of discussion.
557
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:14,071
The crotch, the throat and
the eyes, in that order.
558
00:18:14,137 --> 00:18:15,253
Practice at home.
559
00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:16,559
Next question. Go ahead.
560
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,966
Hi. I'm Tina. I'm 13 years old.
561
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,341
And I'd like to know, who
inspired you to go to space?
562
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:25,129
- Oh. Hmm.
- Come on, astronaut lady.
563
00:18:25,164 --> 00:18:26,389
Lin, shh.
564
00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:27,572
- You shush.
- Sorry.
565
00:18:27,601 --> 00:18:29,904
The person who inspired me
566
00:18:29,938 --> 00:18:32,129
to go to space was...
567
00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:33,968
Say it. Say it.
568
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,873
... my seventh-grade chemistry teacher.
569
00:18:35,905 --> 00:18:38,190
What?! No, no.
570
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,366
Linda, what are you doing?
571
00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:40,756
Uh, yes, go ahead?
572
00:18:40,846 --> 00:18:42,879
(grunting) Why do you go to space?
573
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:44,439
Everything's here.
574
00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:45,396
This question again.
575
00:18:45,484 --> 00:18:46,545
Okay, well, let me first say...
576
00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:47,573
(microphone feedback)
577
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,558
Uh, excuse me, Bernadette.
578
00:18:49,591 --> 00:18:52,305
Um, back to that last girl's question:
579
00:18:52,401 --> 00:18:54,644
are you sure you answered
that one correctly?
580
00:18:54,677 --> 00:18:55,576
Mom?!
581
00:18:55,616 --> 00:18:58,116
Is there someone else who inspired you?
582
00:18:58,177 --> 00:19:00,044
Someone in your family, maybe?
583
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:03,639
Um, I don't think that
this is, uh, the time...
584
00:19:03,704 --> 00:19:05,620
Uh-huh, uh-huh, like, um, um,
585
00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:08,497
what's it called when you're
not the daddy but you're the... ?
586
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,260
TINA: I have a follow-up
to the follow-up.
587
00:19:10,351 --> 00:19:12,601
What happens if your mom acts
crazy and wears a disguise
588
00:19:12,696 --> 00:19:14,173
to sneak into a thing,
even though you told her
589
00:19:14,203 --> 00:19:16,087
- she couldn't come?
- Oh, God.
590
00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:18,546
Um, um, what if the mom
only did that because
591
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:21,391
her daughter has been
blowing her off all weekend?
592
00:19:21,454 --> 00:19:23,121
What if she wasn't blowing anyone off,
593
00:19:23,152 --> 00:19:25,047
she just wanted to hang out
with her new friend her own age?!
594
00:19:25,138 --> 00:19:26,420
Huh, Bernadette?!
595
00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:28,227
- Uh...
- LINDA: A mom can be a friend,
596
00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,435
right, Bernadette?
597
00:19:29,526 --> 00:19:30,836
TINA: Would a friend embarrass you,
598
00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,544
and pour shampoo in a
fountain, Bernadette?
599
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,173
Pouring shampoo in a fountain
600
00:19:34,264 --> 00:19:36,431
is not embarrassing, it's really cool.
601
00:19:36,474 --> 00:19:38,524
All right, I'm beginning to suspect that
602
00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:39,984
that is Linda Belcher.
603
00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:41,992
And you, Linda, are not welcome here.
604
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:44,751
Shush, Frond. I got one more question.
605
00:19:44,786 --> 00:19:47,715
What if the mom only did that
stuff 'cause she was afraid?
606
00:19:47,773 --> 00:19:49,255
'Cause she thought her daughter was
607
00:19:49,285 --> 00:19:50,834
turning into a different person,
608
00:19:50,876 --> 00:19:53,510
someone who thinks it's
weird to be close to her mom.
609
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:56,773
Okay, that's a damn good
disguise, but the jig is up.
610
00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:58,343
- Come with me.
- TINA: Mom...
611
00:19:58,373 --> 00:20:00,130
I don't think it's
weird to be close to you.
612
00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:02,216
You did embarrass me last night,
613
00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:05,981
and a lot right now, and I'm
sure a lot more in the future,
614
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:09,116
but I'm lucky I have a mom I'm close to,
615
00:20:09,212 --> 00:20:10,652
and I don't ever want that to change.
616
00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:13,102
Aw. My teeny Tina.
617
00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:14,147
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
618
00:20:14,202 --> 00:20:15,855
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
619
00:20:15,886 --> 00:20:18,150
- Sorry. Let me get through.
- Pardon me. Sorry.
620
00:20:21,194 --> 00:20:23,735
Was that meant for me?
That was meant for me.
621
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,363
Too much, Mom. Too much.
622
00:20:25,422 --> 00:20:27,588
(grunts) Can't stop now.
623
00:20:27,682 --> 00:20:29,965
This was a horrible idea.
624
00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:31,726
Excuse me. Come on. Time to go.
625
00:20:31,784 --> 00:20:33,567
Okay, okay. I'm hugging my daughter.
626
00:20:33,626 --> 00:20:34,709
Should I go with you, Mom?
627
00:20:34,748 --> 00:20:37,833
No. Stay. Stay. Have fun with Dillon.
628
00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:40,514
Okay. Thanks. But could you,
629
00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:42,242
um, let go of my wrist.
630
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,427
Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. Yeah.
631
00:20:43,456 --> 00:20:44,456
Sorry, Bernadette.
632
00:20:44,545 --> 00:20:46,044
I-I guess I got to leave,
633
00:20:46,135 --> 00:20:47,718
but I just wanted to say thank you.
634
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:50,778
It was a great story, and
you're a real inspiration.
635
00:20:50,824 --> 00:20:52,324
Best bachelor party ever!
636
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:53,497
I-I-It's my bachelor party.
637
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,003
Bob, we got to go!
638
00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:57,261
Uh, that-that's my
wi... I, uh... fianc�e.
639
00:20:57,355 --> 00:20:59,905
GENE: Let's get these two
crazy kids to the altar!
640
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,784
? Dad-chelor party ?
641
00:21:01,876 --> 00:21:03,542
? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ?
642
00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:07,269
? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?
643
00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:09,118
? Dad-chelor party ?
644
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,910
? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ?
645
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,087
? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?
646
00:21:18,454 --> 00:21:20,003
? He's a dad ?
647
00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:21,878
? Dad-chelor ?
648
00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:23,887
? It's a dad-chelor party ?
649
00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:25,813
? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ?
? Dad-chelor ?
650
00:21:25,872 --> 00:21:29,074
? He's a dad ?
651
00:21:29,171 --> 00:21:31,300
? Dad-chelor party ?
652
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,033
? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. ?
653
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,633
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