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ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Wagstaff's own
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00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:29,802
puberty positive players,
The Hormone-iums,
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00:00:29,856 --> 00:00:31,223
featuring Tina Belcher.
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00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:32,364
(crowd whooping and applauding)
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00:00:32,370 --> 00:00:33,737
? New friends on your face ?
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00:00:33,744 --> 00:00:35,411
? It isn't yucky ?
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00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:37,586
? You're breaking out
and you're lucky ?
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00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:38,798
? Breaking out ?
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00:00:38,804 --> 00:00:40,305
? Can't keep it in any more ?
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00:00:40,313 --> 00:00:41,780
? Breaking out ?
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? You're bursting
out of your pores ?
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00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:44,897
? Breaking out ?
? It's simple ?
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00:00:44,937 --> 00:00:46,004
? It's pimples ?
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00:00:46,010 --> 00:00:48,278
? You've got inside-out
dimples ?
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00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,289
? You're... ?
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? Breaking...?
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? Out... ?
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(crowd cheering)
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00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,422
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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00:00:58,042 --> 00:00:59,042
Oh.
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00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:01,248
Ooh, my little star
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00:01:01,259 --> 00:01:02,992
has a Hormonee-os show today.
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Hormone-iums.
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00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,407
Ugh, we have the Internet now,
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00:01:05,414 --> 00:01:06,581
do we still have
to listen to songs
26
00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:08,053
about puberty during lunch?
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00:01:08,096 --> 00:01:09,630
What's the show about this time?
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00:01:09,638 --> 00:01:10,804
Changing bodies?
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00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:11,911
Aunt Flo?
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00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:13,017
We have an Aunt Flo?
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She's missed all my birthdays.
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(sighs)
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We're performing
"Body Hair! Where? There!"
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00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:19,916
Tina, you seem upset.
Do you not like that one?
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No, I love it.
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It's just... I've been
in that group for two years,
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00:01:23,511 --> 00:01:25,512
and even though I'm totally
over my stage fright now,
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00:01:25,522 --> 00:01:27,456
Mr. Frond has never
given me a solo.
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Chorus is just as big a deal
as the solos, sweetie.
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Just because people
don't care about something
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00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,405
doesn't mean it's not important.
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00:01:33,432 --> 00:01:34,431
Thanks, Mom.
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Lost and Found auction time.
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All right!
I'm ready, Linda.
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We got a pager,
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a thermos with something
rattling around inside it.
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Oh, my God, maybe
it's an emerald!
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Could be.
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You got to buy it to find out.
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We also got a "I Voted" sticker;
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could save you a trip
to the polls next year.
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I want that!
All right,
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Teddy, get down!
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One really large
high-heeled pump,
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and a half bottle of Chardonnay.
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Hey, I left that here.
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00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:02,781
Guys, this stuff
isn't that good.
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00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,024
I mean, you know
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00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,329
you don't have to
buy anything, right?
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00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:07,104
Uh-uh, yes we do, Bobby.
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00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:08,814
Linda's such a good saleswoman.
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00:02:08,822 --> 00:02:10,623
She sold me a nickel
for a dime once.
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Great nickel, too, super shiny.
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00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:14,943
All right, just... Come on,
come on, come on, I'm so excited!
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00:02:14,989 --> 00:02:16,489
Yup.
Okay, here we go.
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You know the rules.
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Your hand goes up,
you got to pay,
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00:02:19,346 --> 00:02:21,313
so don't stretch or wave
unless you got the dough.
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00:02:21,356 --> 00:02:23,323
FROND:
Three minutes, performers.
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Angela, you look a little pale.
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Do you have blush
or would you like
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00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:26,881
one of the other students
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00:02:26,887 --> 00:02:28,187
to slap you?
Your choice.
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00:02:28,193 --> 00:02:29,192
I have blush.
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00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,766
Hi Tina.
Wassup, girl?
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00:02:30,774 --> 00:02:32,541
Hi Jimmy Jr., Zeke.
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00:02:32,584 --> 00:02:33,784
Hey, did you hear
about Jocelyn's party
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00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:35,758
this Friday night...
You mean about
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00:02:35,768 --> 00:02:36,935
the 45 minute window
when her mom is going
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00:02:36,941 --> 00:02:38,006
to pick up her brother
from soccer practice
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00:02:38,047 --> 00:02:39,446
and her dad is
on a business trip
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00:02:39,488 --> 00:02:41,222
so there will be
(whispering): spin the bottle.
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00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:42,230
Um, yes, I heard.
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00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:44,136
Yeah, that one.
Pretty crazy, huh?
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It's not that crazy
once you realize
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that the bottle's rotation
is pretty predictable
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if you can figure out
the drag so you just...
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Tina, line up.
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00:02:50,816 --> 00:02:51,981
(upbeat music playing)
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? There's something new
on me and you ?
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00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:58,208
? Brand-new fur on him and her ?
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00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:59,722
? Hair! ?
? Where? ?
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00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:00,730
? There! ?
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(gasps)
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00:03:01,942 --> 00:03:04,643
Ow, Mr. Frond, she fell on me.
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00:03:04,690 --> 00:03:06,691
(whispering):
Is this part of the show?
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00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:07,901
I have no idea
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00:03:07,908 --> 00:03:09,874
but this is the best
they've ever been.
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Angela, come with me.
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00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,257
Everyone else, keep going.
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00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:14,731
And people say
that theater is dead.
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LINDA: 15 now, who'll say 15?
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For this very nice
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book of matches, 15 cents.
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15!
15 cents from the sexy
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stylist on the stool.
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Do I hear 20 cents?
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00:03:22,218 --> 00:03:23,417
Oh, oh, me!
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00:03:23,458 --> 00:03:25,025
Oh, I got 20 cents
from the tomb raider,
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Mort the mortician.
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00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:27,205
Twenty-five!
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00:03:27,212 --> 00:03:28,511
Whoa, too rich for my blood.
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Going once...
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00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:30,724
going twice...
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sold to Teddy for 25 cents.
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Yeah! Yes!
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In your face, Mort.
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In your face.
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Easy.
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00:03:37,131 --> 00:03:38,432
Sorry, sorry, you know I get
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carried away at the auction.
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Okay, next item is
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an extra large, extra in-charge
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women's high-heel shoe,
left behind by Marshmallow.
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00:03:46,113 --> 00:03:47,346
I asked her if
she wanted it back,
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00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,653
she said it was out of season.
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00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,094
Let's start the bidding
at one dollar.
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00:03:50,101 --> 00:03:51,668
One dollar, come on, people.
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00:03:51,676 --> 00:03:53,277
Teddy?
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00:03:53,285 --> 00:03:55,453
I don't know any extra
large one-legged ladies,
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00:03:55,464 --> 00:03:56,731
but if I did, man,
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00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:57,804
I would be getting that shoe.
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00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,043
50 cents?
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00:03:59,049 --> 00:04:00,306
Forty-five?
135
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,656
Thirty?
136
00:04:01,697 --> 00:04:04,265
You're missing the possibilities,
here, people.
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00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,611
It's not just a giant shoe,
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00:04:05,618 --> 00:04:06,718
it's a, it's a...
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00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:08,391
it's a... uh,
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00:04:08,399 --> 00:04:09,800
it's a Wine Shoe.
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00:04:09,807 --> 00:04:13,242
Yeah, it's an elegant way
to display your wine.
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00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:14,627
Oh, my God, I love it.
143
00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:16,001
It's like a foot
that gets you drunk.
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00:04:16,008 --> 00:04:17,408
Five dollars.
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00:04:17,415 --> 00:04:18,948
No, no, no, no, no, six!
Uh, seven!
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Really?
Okay, seven dollars going once.
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00:04:21,369 --> 00:04:22,536
Eight!
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00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,109
Eight dollars, do I hear nine...
Nine!
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00:04:24,117 --> 00:04:25,183
Mike, you want that thing?
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00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,589
You don't?
No.
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00:04:26,631 --> 00:04:28,297
Good.
$15!
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00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:29,773
Do I hear $15.50?
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00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:30,880
Uh...
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00:04:30,921 --> 00:04:33,356
$15 going once.
(Teddy groaning)
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00:04:33,368 --> 00:04:35,035
Twice!
(groaning)
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00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:36,042
And three times a lady,
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00:04:36,049 --> 00:04:37,549
sold to Gretchen for $15.
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00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:38,857
Thank you very much.
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00:04:38,864 --> 00:04:40,697
Oh, that is gonna haunt me.
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00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,540
FROND:
Thank you all for coming in.
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00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,618
I have terrible
slash wonderful news,
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00:04:44,628 --> 00:04:45,895
Hormone-iums.
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00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:48,269
Angela has come down
with mononucleosis!
164
00:04:48,315 --> 00:04:50,048
Oh, no, will she be okay?
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00:04:50,091 --> 00:04:51,091
Who knows?
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00:04:51,097 --> 00:04:52,363
But the real news is
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00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:53,803
that to confront
this urgent crisis,
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00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,679
there will be a special
assembly this Friday
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about the dangers of mono,
and I have asked the principal
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to ask us to perform at it...
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00:05:00,346 --> 00:05:03,514
and he said,
wait for it, "Fine."
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00:05:03,563 --> 00:05:06,165
So, this Friday,
The Hormone-iums will present
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00:05:06,178 --> 00:05:11,014
our new review, Mona Nucleosis,
on the auditorium stage!
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00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:11,903
(all gasp)
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00:05:11,908 --> 00:05:13,309
Exactly!
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00:05:13,316 --> 00:05:14,449
I'll be holding auditions
between Tina and Candy
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00:05:14,455 --> 00:05:15,454
to determine who will
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00:05:15,461 --> 00:05:17,395
temporarily replace Angela
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00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,605
as our female soloist.
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00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:20,246
Tina can have it.
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00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,288
I'm just in this group
as a punishment. Wait, what?
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00:05:22,298 --> 00:05:24,265
What?
Nothing, congrats, Tina.
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00:05:24,309 --> 00:05:27,176
Okay... congratulations
to our new soloist,
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00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,224
Tina Belcher.
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00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:30,030
? Oh, my God. ?
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00:05:30,073 --> 00:05:32,340
I mean, I guess that'd be okay.
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00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,571
(excited chattering)
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00:05:41,594 --> 00:05:43,929
ZEKE: Tina, look over here!
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00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:45,807
PETER: Tina, we love you!
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00:05:45,851 --> 00:05:47,717
She's great.
She's so great.
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00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:48,760
Tina, is it true
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00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,501
that you'll be starring
as Mona Nucleosis
193
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,344
at the all-school
assembly this Friday?
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00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,621
Well, I don't want
to brag, but it's true.
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00:05:54,632 --> 00:05:55,865
(crowd cheering)
196
00:05:55,871 --> 00:05:58,239
Tina, I know this
is weird timing,
197
00:05:58,251 --> 00:06:00,319
but will you marry me?
198
00:06:00,329 --> 00:06:01,429
No, no, no, marry me!
199
00:06:01,435 --> 00:06:02,602
No, marry me!
200
00:06:02,608 --> 00:06:03,908
You get over here.
Ow, Zeke, ow!
201
00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:04,914
Ow, Zeke!
(grunting)
202
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,053
Zeke, ow! Zeke!
203
00:06:06,093 --> 00:06:08,294
I could get used to this.
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00:06:08,305 --> 00:06:09,539
Tina-bean-a,
205
00:06:09,545 --> 00:06:10,912
time to get ready for school.
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00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:12,820
More like school needs
to get ready for me.
207
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,830
Love it!
208
00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:15,268
Love the confidence.
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00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,142
Linda!
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00:06:17,186 --> 00:06:18,954
Have I got a bone
to pick with you.
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00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,195
Me?
Yes, you.
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00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:21,202
What?
213
00:06:21,207 --> 00:06:22,441
My girlfriends at the salon
214
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,316
love the Wine Shoe so much,
215
00:06:24,325 --> 00:06:25,992
they will not stop bugging me
216
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,166
to order one for them.
(gasps)
217
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:28,507
It's like the Patrick Dempsey
218
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,681
calendar situation
all over again.
219
00:06:30,692 --> 00:06:32,693
Oh, my God, really?
220
00:06:32,703 --> 00:06:34,738
Yeah, I've got four hairdressers
221
00:06:34,748 --> 00:06:37,482
who are willing to pay upwards
of, like, $20 for one.
222
00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:39,096
Stop it.
Yeah.
223
00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:40,204
You hear that, Bob?
224
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,477
I heard.
225
00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:42,917
You don't have any
more Wine Shoes, though.
226
00:06:42,925 --> 00:06:44,826
Right, well, uh, let's see.
227
00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:46,135
I can call Marshmallow
228
00:06:46,142 --> 00:06:47,309
and see where
she gets her shoes.
229
00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:48,415
Bob, give me her number.
230
00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:49,922
I-I don't have her number, Lin.
231
00:06:49,929 --> 00:06:51,196
Oh, I thought you had it.
232
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,137
Okay, uh, do you know
where she lives?
233
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,882
All I know about Marshmallow
is that she comes and goes
234
00:06:55,895 --> 00:06:57,996
as she pleases,
she answers to no one,
235
00:06:58,006 --> 00:06:59,540
and she is truly free.
236
00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:01,849
Okay, calm down.
She's a free spirit, we get it.
237
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:03,094
TINA: ? There's nothing ?
238
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,233
? You're missing ?
239
00:07:04,239 --> 00:07:05,839
? If you're not kissing ?
240
00:07:05,881 --> 00:07:07,715
? Kissing is so scary ?
241
00:07:07,725 --> 00:07:10,194
? It will make you ill, oh! ?
242
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:12,406
? So if you wanna kiss someone ?
243
00:07:12,417 --> 00:07:14,918
? Go on and kiss your pill-ow ?
244
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,564
? I never want to kiss ?
245
00:07:16,572 --> 00:07:18,506
? Even if I have great breath ?
246
00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:20,284
? Kissing causes mono ?
247
00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:22,494
? And mono can cause... ?
248
00:07:22,504 --> 00:07:23,903
death.
249
00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:26,180
Say, Mona, I'd like
to kiss someone.
250
00:07:26,191 --> 00:07:27,691
But kissing is dangerous.
251
00:07:27,732 --> 00:07:29,699
(mouthing) PETER:
nlt won't hurt to do one kiss.
252
00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:31,377
Okay, when you put it that way.
253
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,086
(smooching)
254
00:07:33,095 --> 00:07:34,829
(coughs)
255
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:36,172
Oh, no.
256
00:07:36,178 --> 00:07:37,178
I'm dying...
257
00:07:37,184 --> 00:07:38,684
of mono.
258
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,392
? She's dying, she's dying ?
259
00:07:40,401 --> 00:07:42,369
? She's dying ? I... I...
260
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,246
Mr. Frond, my character
really dies?
261
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,055
That seems kind of extreme.
262
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,900
Oh, okay, Tina, perhaps
we should do a non-extreme show.
263
00:07:48,913 --> 00:07:50,013
That'll get our point across,
right?
264
00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:51,385
Something subtle?
265
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,127
I'm just not sure
this is the best way
266
00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:54,537
to teach kids about mono.
267
00:07:54,544 --> 00:07:56,478
I mean, most of the time,
kissing is fine.
268
00:07:56,488 --> 00:07:57,721
Maybe that could be the song.
269
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,829
? Most of the time ? Oh, Tina,
270
00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:01,172
? Kissing is fine... ?
Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina,
271
00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:02,712
Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina.
272
00:08:02,754 --> 00:08:04,755
Yes?
The theater is about drama.
273
00:08:04,765 --> 00:08:05,764
Happiness...
274
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,171
sadness, fear, death!
275
00:08:07,179 --> 00:08:08,412
Now, let's take it
from the top...
276
00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:09,952
and, Candy, let's make sure
277
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,694
those jazz hands look
a little jazzier, okay?
278
00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:13,469
It's not called
wet napkin hands.
279
00:08:14,819 --> 00:08:15,819
(sighs)
280
00:08:15,824 --> 00:08:16,891
Maybe no one will come
281
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,164
to the mandatory assembly.
282
00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:20,673
Kids, your dad
and I are going to Toe-Tanic
283
00:08:20,685 --> 00:08:22,252
so we can make more Wine Shoes.
284
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,928
Oh, my gosh, we're almost
out of Wine Shoes?!
285
00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:26,708
What the heck are you
guys talking about?
286
00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:29,018
Toe-Tanic is an over-sized
women's shoe store.
287
00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:31,030
Wine Shoe is a thing
your mom invented,
288
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,841
and now Gretchen's
friends want to buy
289
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,217
them for some reason.
290
00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:36,058
Of course, of course,
makes perfect sense.
291
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:39,168
W-w-w-wait, you are not going
to Toe-Tanic without me.
292
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:40,618
I guess you can come.
293
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,792
Like you could stop me!
294
00:08:41,798 --> 00:08:43,098
All right, fine, I'll go,
295
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,105
and I'm in charge of everything.
296
00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:45,110
I called it.
297
00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:46,348
Tina, you want to go?
298
00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:47,889
No, I'm good.
299
00:08:47,931 --> 00:08:48,931
Tina, you okay?
300
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,604
Yeah, fine, fine, fine.
301
00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:52,580
Just going over
my script for the big show.
302
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,357
Well, we're all
really proud of you
303
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,134
and your...
and your puberty stuff.
304
00:08:56,142 --> 00:08:57,275
I know it's a big deal to you.
305
00:08:57,281 --> 00:08:58,515
Yeah, I'll just stay here
306
00:08:58,522 --> 00:08:59,522
and memorize my lies.
307
00:08:59,527 --> 00:09:00,926
I mean lines!
Bye!
308
00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:02,836
O-okay, see you in a bit.
Great!
309
00:09:02,845 --> 00:09:04,646
Let's go to the land
where the women are big
310
00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,254
and the dreams are bigger.
311
00:09:07,336 --> 00:09:09,636
MAN: Hello, welcome.
312
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,282
I'm Adrian.
How can I help you?
313
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:13,458
Hi, we're in
the market for high heels.
314
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,501
Sir, my mom's
315
00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:16,141
got a business idea.
316
00:09:16,149 --> 00:09:18,683
It's called Wine Shoe,
and we want to buy in bulk.
317
00:09:18,731 --> 00:09:20,098
Well that sound...
I'm sorry, wait,
318
00:09:20,105 --> 00:09:22,306
did you just say "Wine Shoe"?
319
00:09:22,316 --> 00:09:24,183
Yeah! You take a bottle of wine,
320
00:09:24,193 --> 00:09:25,393
and you put it in a shoe.
321
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,333
Uh-huh...
322
00:09:26,338 --> 00:09:27,505
Right?
323
00:09:27,511 --> 00:09:29,144
Oh... that's it?
324
00:09:29,187 --> 00:09:30,554
Yeah!
Pretty good, right?
325
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:32,062
Yeah.
Now, what will a pair
326
00:09:32,069 --> 00:09:33,903
of these honeys
set my client back?
327
00:09:33,912 --> 00:09:34,912
Oh, those?
328
00:09:34,918 --> 00:09:36,518
Uh, they're $155.
329
00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:38,494
(coughs) Wow! Okay.
330
00:09:38,503 --> 00:09:42,039
Can you show us something
in the, uh... ten dollar range?
331
00:09:42,056 --> 00:09:43,123
Ten dollars?
332
00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:44,195
Uh, okay.
333
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,801
Do you know how much material
334
00:09:45,809 --> 00:09:47,609
goes into a size 14
woman's shoe?
335
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,220
How much engineering?
336
00:09:49,227 --> 00:09:52,695
This heel will hold up
to 350 pounds of woman.
337
00:09:52,747 --> 00:09:54,281
Walking... working...
338
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,856
dancing... living.
339
00:09:55,864 --> 00:09:57,531
In fact, my good friend,
340
00:09:57,539 --> 00:09:59,173
the incredible
Miss Taint Behavin'
341
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:02,450
does five shows a weekend
in these exact shoes.
342
00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,968
So even if there was a ten
dollar size 14 woman's shoe,
343
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,814
I wouldn't sell it.
344
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,257
Lives are at stake!
345
00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:09,831
How old do you have
to be to work here?
346
00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:10,872
Twenty-seven.
347
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,545
LINDA: Oh, well,
348
00:10:12,587 --> 00:10:14,621
what's the use of having dreams
349
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:15,731
if they can't be crushed?
350
00:10:15,737 --> 00:10:17,371
Hold on, Mom.
351
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,714
Maybe we don't need
to buy those shoes right now.
352
00:10:19,725 --> 00:10:21,593
What? Then all we'd have is wine
353
00:10:21,603 --> 00:10:22,903
and what good is that?
354
00:10:22,909 --> 00:10:24,142
I can't believe
I just said that.
355
00:10:24,149 --> 00:10:26,317
We pitch our idea to investors.
356
00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,328
What investors?
Where do we find investors?
357
00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:29,938
Right... there.
358
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,447
(laughing)
359
00:10:31,455 --> 00:10:33,023
Oh, hello, Belchers!
360
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,665
Just having one
of our money fights.
361
00:10:34,673 --> 00:10:36,339
(laughing): Get away!
362
00:10:36,381 --> 00:10:37,748
(Fischoeder and Felix laughing)
See what I mean, Mom?
363
00:10:37,756 --> 00:10:39,257
(gasps) FELIX: I got you!
364
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,864
No, no, what're you
talking about?
365
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:42,072
BOB AND LOUISE: Oh, my God.
366
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:45,655
This just in.
Someone got mono so
367
00:10:45,698 --> 00:10:47,366
now we all have to watch a play.
368
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:48,608
Here's more from Jocelyn.
369
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,148
Thanks, Tammy.
370
00:10:50,156 --> 00:10:52,791
The play is this Friday,
which is also my birthday.
371
00:10:52,804 --> 00:10:54,571
There will be
an all school assembly,
372
00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:57,248
where the Hormone-iums
will perform, Mona Nucleosis,
373
00:10:57,261 --> 00:10:58,961
a show about
the dangers of mono,
374
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:00,604
but it's not about my birthday,
I don't think.
375
00:11:00,612 --> 00:11:01,611
Let's see the clip.
376
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,385
? No, no, kissing ?
377
00:11:03,394 --> 00:11:05,028
? Kissing is the worst ?
378
00:11:05,036 --> 00:11:06,703
? If you kiss me ?
379
00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:09,380
? You'll end up in a hearse. ?
380
00:11:09,392 --> 00:11:11,160
Wow, downer.
381
00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:12,502
Don't kiss Tina, I guess.
382
00:11:12,543 --> 00:11:13,877
And now weather.
383
00:11:13,884 --> 00:11:15,584
Jocelyn?
384
00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:17,027
Whoa, Tina!
385
00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:18,568
You're like the cover girl
of No Kissing magazine.
386
00:11:18,576 --> 00:11:19,809
No, no, no!
387
00:11:19,815 --> 00:11:20,982
I do like kissing!
388
00:11:20,988 --> 00:11:22,755
Didn't seem like it.
No, I, I...
389
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:24,299
(gasping)
390
00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:25,706
(nervous grunting)
391
00:11:25,747 --> 00:11:27,047
(Tina nervous grunting)
392
00:11:27,088 --> 00:11:29,297
Oh, no!
393
00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:33,849
(nervous grunts)
Tina, what are you doing?
394
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:34,994
You can't put these up!
395
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,966
No one will ever want
to kiss me again!
396
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,005
(Tina nervous grunting)
397
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:38,212
Stop it, Tina, stop it.
398
00:11:38,218 --> 00:11:40,419
I quit, I quit,
I'm quitting the show.
399
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:42,096
I quit!
You can't quit.
400
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,572
You're Mona Nucleosis!
401
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,413
And we're gonna be
on the main stage!
402
00:11:45,423 --> 00:11:46,824
Do you know how long
403
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,465
I've been trying to get
the principal to let
404
00:11:48,473 --> 00:11:50,473
the Hormone-iums perform
on that stage?!
405
00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:53,152
And no one is going to think
you really hate kissing.
406
00:11:53,165 --> 00:11:55,533
Do people think Tony Danza
is really The Boss?
407
00:11:55,544 --> 00:11:57,879
I do, I mean,
he's at least a boss.
408
00:11:57,890 --> 00:11:59,557
(groaning)
409
00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:02,335
Oh, Tina, you always
wanted to be a soloist,
410
00:12:02,348 --> 00:12:05,316
and now you will be and it
doesn't have to stop there.
411
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:06,664
I mean, this could be
412
00:12:06,671 --> 00:12:08,705
just the beginning
of solos for you.
413
00:12:08,715 --> 00:12:10,249
Really?
Yes.
414
00:12:10,257 --> 00:12:11,758
Hey, what if I made you
415
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,933
the female Hormone-iums
soloist permanently?
416
00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:17,349
Whoa, that's been
my dream for two years.
417
00:12:17,395 --> 00:12:18,962
And now it's all coming true.
418
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:20,504
So, do we have a deal?
419
00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:22,013
(nervous groaning)
420
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:23,520
Okay.
Great.
421
00:12:23,528 --> 00:12:25,129
Now, Tina, no more freaking out.
422
00:12:25,137 --> 00:12:26,537
Just press your feelings
423
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:29,499
into a tight little
diamond and sparkle.
424
00:12:29,527 --> 00:12:31,728
(groans)
425
00:12:31,739 --> 00:12:34,040
Oh... hey, Tina.
426
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:35,986
Quick thing about
my birthday party.
427
00:12:35,996 --> 00:12:38,163
Sorry, but I have
to uninvite you.
428
00:12:38,207 --> 00:12:39,707
What?!
Yeah.
429
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:40,916
It's a reverse-vitation.
430
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,282
You have a minus
one to this party.
431
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,428
Wait, why?
432
00:12:43,468 --> 00:12:44,869
Because Tammy said.
433
00:12:44,877 --> 00:12:47,111
You're like a kiss narc now.
Hello!
434
00:12:47,121 --> 00:12:48,889
How can we trust
Miss No Kissing not to
435
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:49,998
(whispering):
rat out a kissing party?
436
00:12:50,004 --> 00:12:51,171
I don't really hate kissing.
437
00:12:51,177 --> 00:12:52,310
I'm just playing a part.
438
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:54,017
Okay, but I'm playing
a part where
439
00:12:54,026 --> 00:12:55,693
I uninvite you to my party,
440
00:12:55,701 --> 00:12:56,935
and I'm really good at it.
441
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,442
You are.
You're really believable.
442
00:12:58,449 --> 00:12:59,549
I know.
443
00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:01,456
I'm like so good at this role.
444
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:03,667
(nervous groaning)
445
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:05,344
Permanent soloist.
446
00:13:05,387 --> 00:13:06,921
Permanent soloist.
447
00:13:06,928 --> 00:13:08,328
Permanent soloist.
448
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,770
Permanent soloist.
449
00:13:09,777 --> 00:13:11,077
Permanent soloist!
450
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,885
Oh, good, you're here.
451
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:14,028
I got Gretchen to loan me
452
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:15,868
the Wine Shoe back for 24 hours.
453
00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:17,644
We got to work on
our pitch for the Fischoeders.
454
00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:19,153
They're coming
tomorrow afternoon.
455
00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:20,394
Okay, Gene, write these down.
456
00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:21,435
All right.
457
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,441
Um, Mer-loafers.
Mm-hmm.
458
00:13:23,451 --> 00:13:24,851
Sauvingnon Blahniks.
459
00:13:24,858 --> 00:13:26,057
Mom, listen to me.
460
00:13:26,099 --> 00:13:27,766
We need to sell Wine Shoe
461
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,542
as a journey, not a product.
462
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:32,052
We got to tell them a story
and if that fails,
463
00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:33,164
you have to cry.
464
00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:34,871
Huh, all right, okay.
465
00:13:34,879 --> 00:13:36,580
Uh, the story is...
466
00:13:36,589 --> 00:13:37,922
Wine Shoes...
467
00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:39,562
go together...
468
00:13:39,571 --> 00:13:40,872
like wine...
469
00:13:40,878 --> 00:13:42,111
Good so far.
470
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:43,551
Y... sometimes, you just need
471
00:13:43,592 --> 00:13:45,192
a little wine in your shoe...
472
00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:46,903
to get through...
Wait, you could do, uh,
473
00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:48,411
Cinderella.
Yes!
474
00:13:48,418 --> 00:13:50,618
Like, oh, where
does this shoe fit?
475
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,331
On a bottle of wine.
476
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:54,308
The one you've been waiting
for your whole life.
477
00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,251
Finally, you found
your Prince Charming,
478
00:13:56,261 --> 00:13:58,161
and it's a bottle of wine.
479
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,305
Oh, my God, Bobby,
I'm transported.
480
00:14:00,316 --> 00:14:01,650
Dad, you son of a bitch.
481
00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:03,457
Let's do this.
(whoops)
482
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:08,776
? I thought kissing
would be heaven ?
483
00:14:08,828 --> 00:14:11,697
? So I kissed a boy ?
484
00:14:11,711 --> 00:14:13,844
? Or seven ?
485
00:14:15,464 --> 00:14:18,498
? Mononucleosis has got you ?
486
00:14:18,548 --> 00:14:19,947
? On your knees ?
487
00:14:19,988 --> 00:14:22,022
? Worse than halitosis ?
488
00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:25,034
? It's a kissing disease ?
489
00:14:25,082 --> 00:14:26,750
? All your bad decisions ?
490
00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:28,592
? Have kicked you in your butt ?
491
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,469
? If only I'd kept my ?
492
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,944
? Lips ?
493
00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:35,355
? Shut... ?
494
00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:37,138
We're ready.
495
00:14:37,182 --> 00:14:39,550
(upbeat music
from Gene's keyboard)
496
00:14:39,561 --> 00:14:41,662
Oh, I have the most
beautiful bottle of wine
497
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,874
in all the land...
but alas, I have no place
498
00:14:44,889 --> 00:14:46,355
to display it.
499
00:14:46,397 --> 00:14:47,396
Hark.
500
00:14:47,402 --> 00:14:48,936
Ooh, I wasn't expecting that.
501
00:14:48,944 --> 00:14:50,211
Excuse me, fair maiden,
502
00:14:50,218 --> 00:14:51,886
but I couldn't help but notice
503
00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:54,095
that you may have dropped
this shoe at my castle.
504
00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:55,273
I did?
505
00:14:55,279 --> 00:14:56,946
I am going from home to home
506
00:14:56,954 --> 00:14:58,655
seeing what this
shoe could fit on.
507
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,132
Oh, it looks too
big for me, alas.
508
00:15:01,144 --> 00:15:02,344
But wait!
509
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:05,118
What if the shoe fits
on the wine?
510
00:15:05,131 --> 00:15:06,798
(all gasp)
511
00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:07,975
We'll fund your play.
512
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:09,247
I have a few notes,
513
00:15:09,253 --> 00:15:10,853
but I think it would
be great if you...
514
00:15:10,896 --> 00:15:12,063
Oh, no, no, no.
515
00:15:12,069 --> 00:15:13,336
Uh, we're not selling the play,
516
00:15:13,342 --> 00:15:14,342
we're selling this.
517
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,749
(keyboard plays fanfare)
518
00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:18,924
Gentleman, today we are
offering you a 50% stake
519
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:20,506
in our company, Wine Shoe,
520
00:15:20,548 --> 00:15:23,116
for the low price of $1,000.
521
00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:24,729
Never more will
your wine look lame,
522
00:15:24,737 --> 00:15:26,671
sitting there on
the counter like an idiot.
523
00:15:26,681 --> 00:15:28,449
Pinot gross-i-o!
524
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,126
Give your wine that wow
factor with Wine Shoe.
525
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:32,137
Ah!
526
00:15:32,144 --> 00:15:34,545
So... you did not call me
527
00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:37,190
over here to give me rent money?
528
00:15:37,238 --> 00:15:38,238
Okay, so you're out.
529
00:15:38,244 --> 00:15:39,443
Felix, what do you say?
530
00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:40,984
Well, I have had some businesses
531
00:15:40,992 --> 00:15:41,992
like this in the past.
532
00:15:41,997 --> 00:15:43,731
I founded Light-Tights,
533
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,440
the tights with the light-up
fannies. I have those.
534
00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:47,348
I'm afraid, however,
that Wine Shoe...
535
00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:48,226
Wha-wha-what?
536
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,597
...just doesn't speak to me.
537
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,405
What?!
Yeah, sorry, Linda,
538
00:15:51,414 --> 00:15:52,546
but it's a no.
539
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:54,454
Oh, come on...
Mom!
540
00:15:54,497 --> 00:15:56,165
(whining)
541
00:15:56,173 --> 00:15:57,306
What?
(whispering): Cry.
542
00:15:57,312 --> 00:15:58,813
Oh, oh, right, right, right.
543
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:01,054
(crying)
Look what you did to my mom.
544
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,667
(Linda wailing)
Should we sneak out?
545
00:16:02,675 --> 00:16:03,808
Yes.
546
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:04,814
Here we go, sneaking out.
547
00:16:04,819 --> 00:16:05,818
BOTH: Sneak...
548
00:16:05,825 --> 00:16:07,226
sneak, sneak, sneak.
549
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,632
Ugh.
Aw, nuts!
550
00:16:08,674 --> 00:16:11,142
LINDA:
I don't know what went wrong.
551
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,754
I thought I could sell anything.
552
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:14,329
I really thought
I'd get my dream.
553
00:16:14,371 --> 00:16:16,072
Dreams are dumb!
They ruin your life!
554
00:16:16,081 --> 00:16:17,681
What?
Tell me about it!
555
00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:19,556
I'll never be the Royal Baby.
556
00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:21,332
Can I finish my dinner
in my room?
557
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:22,375
Uh, sure.
558
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,446
(groaning)
559
00:16:23,487 --> 00:16:25,054
(Linda sighs)
560
00:16:25,062 --> 00:16:26,562
I guess I'll go talk to her.
561
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,438
No, Lin, you're still
sad about your shoes.
562
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:29,447
I'll-I'll go.
563
00:16:29,452 --> 00:16:30,451
All right.
564
00:16:30,458 --> 00:16:32,592
(crying)
565
00:16:32,602 --> 00:16:34,636
Uh, Tina, can, uh, can we talk?
566
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,015
Still got that spaghetti, huh?
567
00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,127
Yeah.
568
00:16:38,132 --> 00:16:39,132
That's good.
569
00:16:39,138 --> 00:16:40,572
We'll wash the sheets later.
570
00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:42,045
Okay.
Look...
571
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:43,888
you are obviously upset.
572
00:16:43,897 --> 00:16:46,064
I-is... is it about
your puberty show?
573
00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:47,042
Kinda.
574
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,248
You want to tell me about it?
575
00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:50,355
Okay, but if I tell you
576
00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,199
then I'm telling you
another kid's secret.
577
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,475
Do you swear not to tell?
578
00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:55,283
I think so...
as long as it's not...
579
00:16:55,292 --> 00:16:56,592
murder.
580
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,999
It's not.
Good.
581
00:16:58,006 --> 00:16:59,574
Well, there was gonna be
582
00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:00,982
45 minutes of spin the bottle
583
00:17:00,989 --> 00:17:01,989
at Jocelyn's party...
584
00:17:01,994 --> 00:17:02,994
Okay...
585
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,267
...but I got uninvited
586
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,440
because now I'm Mona Nucleosis,
587
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:06,945
the face of anti-kissing!
588
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:09,288
Oh, uh, that sounds bad, yeah.
589
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,635
And Mr. Frond told me I could
be the new permanent soloist,
590
00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:13,147
but if I do the show tomorrow
591
00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:15,055
no one will ever want
to kiss me ever again.
592
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:16,932
Okay, first of all,
people will want
593
00:17:16,941 --> 00:17:18,208
to kiss you again, Tina.
594
00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:19,915
Really?
Yup. Boys?
595
00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:20,624
Yup.
596
00:17:20,628 --> 00:17:21,728
Huh. What do they look like?
597
00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:23,333
I-it's a hypothetical, it's...
598
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,142
Tan?
599
00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:26,013
Yes, they're tan boys.
600
00:17:26,057 --> 00:17:27,558
But not like
that orange-y self-tan.
601
00:17:27,565 --> 00:17:30,333
Nope. Anyway,
I know puberty positivity
602
00:17:30,347 --> 00:17:32,749
is important to you
and that's good but
603
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,527
if doing this play
is making you say
604
00:17:34,536 --> 00:17:36,137
something you don't
believe in, then maybe,
605
00:17:36,145 --> 00:17:37,445
you shouldn't do it.
606
00:17:37,452 --> 00:17:38,851
Even if I said I would?
607
00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:40,894
Yeah, because whether
you kiss anyone or not,
608
00:17:40,904 --> 00:17:43,505
you're in charge
of your own... mouth.
609
00:17:43,518 --> 00:17:45,686
Who you kiss with it
and what you say with it.
610
00:17:45,696 --> 00:17:46,695
And, Tina?
611
00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:47,935
Are you gonna say you
612
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,175
have to tell on Jocelyn's party?
613
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,082
No, I was going to ask you if
614
00:17:51,092 --> 00:17:53,526
you wanted me to get
you a handful of ice cream.
615
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,938
(students chattering quietly)
616
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:56,546
FROND: All right,
617
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:57,622
places, everyone.
618
00:17:57,627 --> 00:17:59,260
I'll see you on the other side.
619
00:17:59,303 --> 00:18:02,071
(to self):
It's my mouth. It's my mouth.
620
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:03,318
It's my mouth.
621
00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:05,025
Okay, everybody,
let's do this thing.
622
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:06,566
Just be advised I've made some
changes to the end of the show,
623
00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:09,497
try to keep up.
There's our cue, let's go.
624
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:14,560
Oh, no! I am afraid this
student, Mona, is dying.
625
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,079
Dying from mononucleosis.
626
00:18:16,122 --> 00:18:17,956
Nurse, I need you
to write something down.
627
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:19,498
Yes, Doctor?
628
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:21,775
(mouthing)
DARRYL: Kissing is really dangerous.
629
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:23,386
? Well... ?
630
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:24,394
Wait, Doctor!
631
00:18:24,399 --> 00:18:26,133
Um, uh, yes, Mona?
632
00:18:26,142 --> 00:18:28,110
I feel better.
Oh. Hey!
633
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,087
Because mono would
really only cause death
634
00:18:30,097 --> 00:18:31,497
in someone very old, very young,
635
00:18:31,504 --> 00:18:32,670
or someone who had a compromised
636
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,645
immune system.
I looked it up.
637
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,855
Okay...
638
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,502
(whispering): Tina, if you don't
stick to the script, the only thing
639
00:18:39,514 --> 00:18:42,148
you'll be kissing is
permanent soloist good-bye.
640
00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:43,862
I've made up my mind, Mr. Frond.
641
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,572
Kissing isn't dangerous,
but misinformation is.
642
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:47,785
? Well... ?
643
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:48,926
Wait!
644
00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:49,965
Darryl, do you have mono?
645
00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:51,070
Uh, no.
646
00:18:51,076 --> 00:18:52,342
(smooches) Whoa!
(audience gasping)
647
00:18:52,384 --> 00:18:53,784
There, see?
648
00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:55,291
Nobody died...
and nobody's going to die.
649
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:56,967
I mean, we all will, eventually,
650
00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:59,275
but probably not today
and probably not from mono.
651
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,156
Kissing is one of the great
parts of life, like dancing.
652
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:03,170
Yeah!
653
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:04,175
Or rainy days.
654
00:19:04,181 --> 00:19:05,448
Or those croissants
655
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:06,654
Meryl Streep made in that movie.
656
00:19:06,661 --> 00:19:07,961
We don't have to not kiss.
657
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,834
We just have to smart kiss...
658
00:19:09,878 --> 00:19:12,445
and now, I am going to kiss
everyone in this row...
659
00:19:12,492 --> 00:19:13,325
Do what?!
660
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:15,097
Tina, no! No, no, Tina!
? Well ?
661
00:19:15,106 --> 00:19:17,366
? I don't know much about
huggin' and a-kissin'... ?
662
00:19:18,304 --> 00:19:19,757
You were good
in that play, Tina.
663
00:19:19,764 --> 00:19:21,131
Thanks.
664
00:19:21,138 --> 00:19:22,939
And if you want, you
can come to my party.
665
00:19:22,948 --> 00:19:24,315
You know, I'll probably
have to weigh my options.
666
00:19:24,322 --> 00:19:25,422
Okay, I'm in.
667
00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:27,262
LINDA: Unbelievable!
668
00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:28,972
Bob, look at this.
669
00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,546
That's your...
Wine Shoe.
670
00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,457
Some company stole my idea!
671
00:19:32,466 --> 00:19:33,633
Booze Shoes.
672
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,473
Our best selling
novelty wine holder
673
00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:37,049
for five years running.
674
00:19:37,057 --> 00:19:38,391
Oh.
675
00:19:38,398 --> 00:19:39,999
Huh, they stole your idea
before you had it.
676
00:19:40,007 --> 00:19:41,407
Or another way of saying that
677
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,015
is you stole it from them.
678
00:19:43,023 --> 00:19:44,023
I didn't.
679
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:45,262
I thought of it.
680
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,336
Well, then look on
the bright side, Lin,
681
00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:48,546
you came up with an idea
682
00:19:48,552 --> 00:19:50,086
that people clearly want to buy.
683
00:19:50,094 --> 00:19:51,561
Yeah, you're right.
684
00:19:51,569 --> 00:19:53,103
(gasps) I just got another idea.
685
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:54,243
Talk to me.
686
00:19:54,249 --> 00:19:56,217
Candle Sandals.
You take a sandal.
687
00:19:56,227 --> 00:19:58,227
You cut a hole in it,
you put a candle in it.
688
00:19:58,271 --> 00:19:59,472
That... rhymes.
689
00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:00,745
Done, million dollars, done.
690
00:20:00,752 --> 00:20:02,085
It's genius.
691
00:20:02,092 --> 00:20:03,158
Et voila.
692
00:20:03,198 --> 00:20:05,333
Gene, go online and order
a thousand sandals
693
00:20:05,343 --> 00:20:06,443
and a thousand candles.
694
00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:08,049
On it.
No.
695
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:09,992
Oh, excuse me,
696
00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,702
Jennifer Love Gorgeous.
697
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,709
Are you lost?
698
00:20:12,715 --> 00:20:14,082
The set of whatever movie
699
00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:15,290
you're working on
is down the street.
700
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:16,663
Mom, it's me, Tina.
701
00:20:16,704 --> 00:20:18,572
(gasps) Wha-what?
702
00:20:18,581 --> 00:20:19,714
I'm just dressed up
because I'm going
703
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,354
to Jocelyn's birthday party.
704
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:22,696
Just a regular old birthday
party, nothing special.
705
00:20:22,703 --> 00:20:23,702
Right, Dad?
706
00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:24,942
Right, Tina.
707
00:20:24,948 --> 00:20:26,949
Have fun at
your regular birthday party.
708
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,526
Okay, bye.
709
00:20:28,568 --> 00:20:30,636
What was that about?
710
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,846
They're gonna play
spin the bottle.
711
00:20:31,852 --> 00:20:33,319
Oh. Oh!
712
00:20:33,327 --> 00:20:35,161
Aww.
What's spin the bottle?
713
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:36,804
Can we play?
Yeah.
714
00:20:36,812 --> 00:20:37,845
That would be weird.
715
00:20:37,851 --> 00:20:39,051
? ?
716
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:43,836
Mm-hmm... checking the wind.
717
00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:46,151
Floor is tilted one degree...
718
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,063
Oh, my God, Tina, go!
719
00:20:48,073 --> 00:20:50,575
My mom's gonna be
back in 37 minutes.
720
00:20:50,587 --> 00:20:51,587
Okay.
721
00:20:51,592 --> 00:20:53,126
Here we go.
722
00:20:53,134 --> 00:20:54,900
("Just What I Needed"
by The Cars plays)
723
00:21:01,612 --> 00:21:03,413
? I guess you're
just what I needed ?
724
00:21:03,422 --> 00:21:05,356
? Just what I needed ?
725
00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:09,002
? I needed someone to feed ?
726
00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:10,987
? I guess you're
just what I needed ?
727
00:21:10,996 --> 00:21:12,296
? Just what I needed ?
728
00:21:12,303 --> 00:21:15,304
? I needed someone to bleed... ?
729
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,749
? I don't mind... ?
730
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:39,349
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