All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s05e06 Father of the Bob.eng

YOUNG BOB (falsetto): Hey, Bob.
Thanks for cooking me.

You're pretty good with
that spatula; How old are you?

(normal voice):
14.

(falsetto): Oh, wow,
you're like a prodigy.

(normal voice): Yeah,
I'm pretty good, I guess.

(falsetto, laughing):
That tickles, I like it.

Here you go, Henry.
What's this?

I ordered the usual.

Well, well, since Pop's
getting his prostate checked,

and I'm manning the grill,

I thought, why not try
the unusual?

Ooh.
Henry, I present to you

"Baby You Can Chive
My Car Burger."

Sour cream, chives, and little
fried pickle wheels on the sides

that make it look like a car.

Vroom, vroom!

You know he's a
grown man, right?

Someone's having fun
at work today.

Yep, a lot. I came up with
a bunch of ideas for specials.

The Crispy Brinkley Burger,
the Richard Per-Simmons Burger,

the Greed is Gouda Burger...

Easy, easy, whew. Okay, okay.
PETE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sorry, I got excited.

I-I'm just passionate.
(door opens)

So that's what
a prostate exam is.

(shudders)

Did you guys
know what it was?

I think it's more fun
if it's a surprise.

Hey, Big Bob,
look what Little Bob made.

Junior, what is this?

It's a "Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger."

A what you can
what my what burger?

Henry, did you order this?
What'd you order?

The usual, but this looks okay.

I-I like cars.

Try it, Henry,
y-you might like it.

Don't tell him
what to eat, Junior.

He didn't order that, he's
a tuna melt man... look at him.

I-I'll take a bite.
I'll eat the wheel.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
it's my burger-car. Get off.

It's nobody's burger-car.

We'll make you a tuna melt.

Just everybody shush!

That's the last time I
get my prostate checked.

LINDA:
Wrap it up, Teddy.

We got to close up.

We're going to Big Bob's
Christmas Eve party.

Ugh, Teddy, eat slower.

Actually,
that's too slow.

Dear Lord Santa,
this year,

please bless me
with a calendar of

Australian firefighters holding
puppies in casual settings.

And bless me
with a perm.

You only live once; Why not
have a little fun up top?

And, Santa, bless me with
an internship at your company.

Preferably something
in the flying animal

or breaking and entering
department, thank you.

Kids, I know it's
Christmas Eve

but I don't think
you pray to Santa.

Lord Santa, strike him down!

Ooh, that reminds me.

I'm supposed to go
to midnight mass tonight.

Either that
or midnight basketball.

I've got my shorts in the truck.

What do you think I should do?

Combine them... mass-ketball!

All right, let's go.

Big Bob's Christmas party,
here we come.

I don't want to go.

Plus, is it a party if my dad
just works the whole time

and charges people?

Isn't that just
being a restaurant?

It's Christmas, he invites us
every year, we're going.

But we just went
two years ago.

That was seven years ago.
You sure?

I remember. I was
still breast-feeding.

No, you weren't.
Not with you.

Fine, we'll go, but we're
sticking to the 15-minute rule.

What?
What are you talking about?

It-It's that
I can only be

around my dad
for 15 minutes.

Then I have to leave before
I completely lose it.

Well, good luck.
(timer dings)

I give it three months.

I'm gonna go inside.

(timer dings)

You're a lot fatter
than I was at your age.

Gotta go.

Aw, cute kid.

(kissing)

(timer dings) So you
named him Gene, huh?

Is it too late
to change that?

I'm gonna leave now.

But this is your house.
That's okay.

Yep, so now Dad only sees
Grandpa in 15-minute intervals.

It's like speed dating
but with your dad.

Hey, father issues...
we all got 'em.

I've got
mother issues, too.

I've even got cousin issues.

Beautiful blonde cousin issues.

Aw... Ew. What?

Oh, forget
your 15-minute rule.

Tonight's the night you and your
dad finally patch everything up.

Because of
? Christmas magic ?

? Christmas magic ?

? This time of year ?
Okay, stop, stop.

TEDDY: ? This time of year ?
Stop, stop, Teddy.

? And all the cold
hungry people ?

? All those cold
hungry people ?

? They're dying
in the streets ?

? They're dying
in the streets ?

? Me and my family
will be warm tonight. ?

Okay, Lin.

Anyway, the rest of us
get along great with Pop Pop.

I enjoy his opinions on
what's ruining America.

You know what
you should do?

You should
ask him for $5.

He'll give it
to you... in cash.

Okay, fine, fine.

We're... w-we'll
go to Grandpa's.

But we're only going
for 15 minutes.

Teddy, have fun at church.
Or basketball.

Either way, I'm wearing shorts.

? Fa-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ?

? Oh, it's Christmastime
again... ?

(quietly): Guys, guys, did you
get presents for Mom and Dad?

I got Mom that hip-hop
yoga video she wanted.

I went in on it.

Tina, how much
do I owe you?

Just kidding,
it's on you.

Great, that'll be
from all of us.

So what did we get Dad, Tina?

(gasps)
I didn't get him anything.

Oh, way to go, T.

Gene and I are
pulling our weight.

Yeah, Tina.

Sorry, it's just been
a crazy season.

Well, we can't put "sorry"
under the tree, can we?

We'll just give him
whatever's in my pocket.

A chocolate-covered raisin.

Scratch that. A raisin.

Crap, this happens
every year.

Well, we're gonna have to
make him a gift at Grandpa's.

Mm.

There it is.

Our restaurant's dad.

Hey, look who's here.

Hey, Pete.

Merry Christmas,
Bob and family.

Merry Christmas, Pete!

You haven't been here in so
long, I grew a big white beard.

Just kidding, it's
a Santa beard.

This is my real beard.

Keep going!

Russian nesting beards!

How's your bar?

Pete owns the bar
next door, remember?

Is it still gay,
still going strong?

Stronger and gayer than ever.
That's our motto.

? Stronger and gayer
than ever! ?

I just wrote
a jingle for you.

Hmm.
Ha!

She's pretty
"singy" tonight.

? Yeah. ?

Hey, Big Bob's
in the back,

and I think it's
hug o'clock.

Huh, kids?
I get it.

We're coming for
you, Pop Pop.

Here you go.

Merry Christmas, Big Bob.

Linda, kids.

Boy, you get smaller
every year.

When do I stop
calling you Big Bob

and start calling you
Old Wrinkly Shriveled-Up Bob?

Ha! All right, all right.

Sorry.

And how are my
grandkids doing?

I got problems,

but nothing
five dollars wouldn't fix.

(clears throat)

Grandpa, you don't look
a day over grandpa age.

You're a doll, Tina.
Thank you.

Hey, look what
I got here.

Who's your
favorite president?

Bill Pullman!

"Today we fight
for our independence!"

Here you go.
Oh.

Merry Christmas.

Thanks, Gramps.
Hey, listen.

We have an arts
and crafts emergency.

We need glue, we need paper,
we need pasta.

We need it,
like, yesterday.

How many sizes
of googly-eyes do you have?

I don't really
have any of that.

But I've got a bunch of
crap down in the basement

if you kids want
to take a look.

One man's trash is another man's
present for their father.

Hey, Junior.
How are things?

Eh, my prep guy's
gone tonight.

Went to the hospital 'cause
his daughter's having a baby.

People can be pretty
selfish, I guess.

(scoffs)
Jerk baby.

Linda.

Uh, h-hold on here.

Bobby, this is
going well.

Yeah, check back with me
in 14-and-a-half minutes.

(whispering):
Christmas magic.

Stop saying that.
No, I don't want to.

You sure look slammed
tonight, Big Bob.

Seems like you
could use a hand.

If only there was someone here...
Lin, no.

- Who knew their way around the kitchen...
- Stop.

They knew the menu...

Lin, no.
Where to get the cheese...

No.
Knew where that goes.

Stop.
They knew their way around.

Stop it.
Like the back of their hand.

Like they were raised here.
No, no. I-I don't.

Yeah, I doubt he'd...
Bob could help cook.

No, I-I don't...
Ah?

I'll get trapped in there...
15-minute rule.

It's you father...
Stop it.

It's your father.
Shut up.

All right!

You two bond, have fun!

BIG BOB:
Okay, this is it.

I'm gonna give Little Bob
his Christmas gift.

Everybody ready?

Bob Junior!
Wh-What's going on?

Bobby, you've been working here
your whole life.

And I'm sure you've been
waiting for this day.

W-What are you doing?

From this point forward,

Big Bob's Diner will
officially be called...

Oh, Dad, don't.

...Bob and Son's.

All right!

Yeah!
(cheering)

The new menus.

And... Okay, that's gonna
say "Son's."

It's not done yet,
but it's great, huh?

My cousin's painting
it. He's slow,

he can only do about
a letter a day,

but he can spell like
a son of a bitch.

Like a son of a bitch.

Come here, partner.

Uh...

(mocking):
Uh, uh...

Come on, want to be
partners, or what?

No?

(gasping)
You're welcome.

I think...
Wait, what'd you just say?

I said no.

I could never be
partners with you.

You're impossible to work with.

What? Oh, boy.
Easy, Little Bob.

I want to
change the menu,

a-and you never want
to change the menu.

And you're so critical.

I can't even lift a
spatula without you saying

I'm doing it wrong.

'Cause you're
doing it wrong!

L-Let's let the spatula decide.

You both call it,
a-and we'll see who it goes to.

I want to express myself
in the kitchen!

And when I say that,
he makes this weird sound!

(sighing scoff)
That sound!

What is that?!

You're gonna do this?

Right now?
In front of everybody?

You know what? Get out!

Take your jokey
burger specials and go!

Fine! You just gave me

a new burger idea.

The I'm Sproutta Here Burger.

Comes with sprouts.

Ah, not that but
something else.

(sighing scoff)
I thought of a better one!

The "I'd Be Cheddar Off

Literally Anywhere
But Here Burger!"

Comes with aged cheddar...
forget it!

Forget it!
Merry freaking Christmas!

Merry Christmas,
Little Bob!

Lin, this was
not the plan.

Me cooking with my father at
the party was not the plan.

We are radically
off plan.

Bob, calm down.
Listen to me.

This is a great opportunity
for you two

to turn your bad blood
to glad blood.

Here, Bob, have some
Christmas magic, eh?

Wait, Christmas
magic is wine?

It's whatever you want it to be.

It can be snow or Santa or beer
or gin or rum or schnapps.

I-I get it. Listen, I've been
with him for five minutes,

so I'm setting this timer
for ten minutes,

and then I'm leaving.

Well, I'm setting
this timer to forever.

'Cause that's how long

you and your father are
gonna love each other.

Talking about your heart,
Bob, not your nipple.

All right, pastrami
with mustard, table three.

Uh, w-where's the club sandwich
for table two?

Right here, Dad.

I got a great idea, Big Bob.

How about I run the food,
that way

you can stay in the kitchen
and cook with Little Bob.

No, no, I-I think Big Bob is
fine running the food. That's...

Look out, table two, here
comes Linda with your club!

(Bob sighs)

Wait, where's table two?

You order a club?

Club? Club?

Present for Dad,

present for Dad,
present for Dad.

Ooh, cans of beans!

(imitating drums)

Dad loves to drum
on beans, right?

What about this chair?
Dad sits sometimes.

Ugh, boring.
He'll sit when he's dead, Tina.

What if we glue all these
mousetraps together,

and call it a super trap?

(gasps) What if I make
my chair a super chair? Like,

if I tape this pad of paper
to it, then he could journal.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Is this a little friendly
competition we have here?

A little Christmas competition?

Whoever gives Dad
the best present, wins a...

A Mistle-Tony!

Yes! The most coveted
award in gift-giving!

Dibs on bringing Mom
to the ceremony!

Dibs on bringing Dad.
Dibs on bringing Dad.

Nope, too late.

So, who you bringing, Tina?

I don't know now.

Yeah.

So, uh, th-the grill
seems good.

It's getting
to be an antique.

Yeah, we all are, you know?
(chuckles)

Yeah.

It-It's a new hood?

Five years ago.
Good hood?

Yeah, pretty good.
Pretty good hood.

Yeah, I-I got a good hood, too.
Ah, that's good.

You always said you need a good hood.
I never said that.

I thought you said
that; I... that's...

No one in the history of
time has ever said that.

"All you need is a good hood."
I swear I remember

you saying that all
you need is a good...

That wasn't me.
It was someone else.

I don't know why anyone
else would say that.

(ticking)

Dad's chair is almost done.

He'll never have
to stand up again.

Dad's thirsty;
He's got a water bottle.

He's cold; Box of matches.

Now he's bored. Not anymore.

Here's a basketball.

And then I can
use this dish towel

to wipe the floor with you.

Because I just won
the Mistle-Tony.

Um, when you see this trap,
you're gonna want to shut yours.

Period. End of burn.

How's your present going,
Little Drummer Gene?

Beans, beans,
the tragical fruit?

The more you drum it,
the more you lose?

The contest?
That we're in right now?

Mm-hmm.
Like the saying, about the beans,

but with, uh,
different words.

Well, I was gonna
empty out these cans

to make a better
drum sound,

but now I think I might
soak these old bones

in a little bean bath!

Gene, you're pulling
out of the competition?

No.

I'm just taking a little
siesta to clear my mind.

Tina, be a dear
and get me

two slices of ham
to put over my eyes?

Hey, Dad, we're probably
gonna head out in about, um,

30 seconds. So, just
have to finish up

this last order.
What do you think this says?

"Grilled cheese."

Grilled cheese. Huh.
That's weird. Wh... what?

Nah. Nothing. Never mind.
(timer dings)

It just... it says "grilled
cheese" on the ticket,

but maybe you thought it said
"burnt toast," I don't know.

(high-pitched):
Oh, my God.

Okay, Dad. We're gonna hit the road.
How we doing?

Good. We're just learning
how to make grilled cheese

for the first time,
for some reason.

(high-pitched chuckle)

(laughs) Oh, hey, look at me!

I got a new order over here!

Uh, Henry here at the counter
says he wants "the usual."

? ?

(growls):
"The usual."

Uh... yeah?

I'll take care of
Henry's usual, Bob.

You keep burning
the grilled cheese.

Oh, no, Dad, I'm gonna
take care of this.

I'm gonna take
care of Henry.

What are you talking about?
I'm talking

about the burger I tried
to make him when I was 14

and you put me
in charge of the restaurant.

That's what I'm talking about!
Wait, what burger?

The Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger, Pop!

(nervous laugh)
Okay.

Everyone's fine.
Talking it out.

Here we go! Let's see
if he's got any chives.

Probably not!

Why would he have
chives in a restaurant?

That would be
too much flavor!

Oh, I've got chives, buddy.

Good. You ready, Henry?
What?

Stay out of this, Henry!
Sorry.

You are not making
one of your

gimmick burgers
in my kitchen!

Vroom. Vroom.

What is that?

It's a car sound!

That's not a car sound.

This is a car sound.

(imitates engine revving)

(imitates brakes screeching)

That's how you do it.

Oh, my God!

Al right, stop making that burguer
right now!

Henry wants the tuna melt!

Isn't that right, Henry?
No, Pop.

Henry wants the Baby You
Can Chive My Car Burger

he never had a chance to
taste because of you!

Look, uh, I don't want
to cause any trouble here.

I'll just eat whatever
you put in front of me.

No problem, easy breezy.

You're getting
the tuna melt!

You're getting
the burger, Henry!

Not if I make
the tuna melt first!

Good luck!
(grunts)

Hey, don't
box me out.

Hey, if you're
having a hard time

getting to the grill,
it's not my problem.

And... hug.

No? Okay.

Dad will never walk again.
By choice.

Nor will he love
either of you again.

By choice.

Guys?
Did you hear my trash talking?

You can't
hurt me, Tina.

At this point,
I'm more bean than Gene.

LOUISE:
Nobody talk!

Nobody talk.

I just need to get
one more on here and...

I win. I win. I win!

Oh, you might have won
if I was done, but I'm not.

What could be better-y
than a battery

taped to the back of the chair?

Game. Set. Match.

(traps snapping,
girls screaming)

No! No! No!

Uh-oh.
Hope you're happy, Tina.

Now Dad doesn't get
a Christmas present.

Looks like Dad just won a bean
bath with a little pee in it!

Oh, that's something.

This'll make Dad's skin

look 40 again... (screams)

No! I spilled my beans!

I guess the Mistle-Tonys
were a bust.

Tina, new game.

You have ten seconds
to find a gift for Dad. Go!

Um... we could give him
this snow globe?

It says,
"Oh, snow, you didn't."

Attagirl. Wrap it up,
make it look pretty.

I'd give you this big,
beautiful bow,

but then what would I wear?

(grunts) I threw
away your garnish!

Damn it!

Order up!
Order up!

Lin, take this
to Henry!

No, Linda.
Take this to Henry!

I'm not taking anything anywhere

until you two make peace!

You know what you need?

Come on, people! Sing!

We can bring
these guys back together!

? Peace, peace, peace ?

? Peace, peace... ?
Everybody!

? Peace, peace... ? Come on.
? Peace, peace, pea... ?

Yeah! ? Peace ? Yeah, yeah...

(Linda continues singing) Fine,
I'll take it to Henry myself!

Then I will, too!

Get your foot out of my...
(screams) Ow!

Come on, it's Christmas!
Here you go, Henry. The usual.

Here you go, Henry. The "Baby
You Can Chive My Car Burger."

? Peace, peace... ?
All right, it's not working.

Uh, they both look... good?

You son of a bitch.
Take a bite.

Eat the tuna melt,
Henry.

Could I just give the burger,
um, a sniff?

Henry...
It's okay to smell.

(sniffing)
Oy gevalt.

Henry...
Smells good, right?

Uh, maybe-maybe just
a... a quick lick?

No, not a lick.
Don't do it.

Don't lick.

Come on.
Get it all

up in there, Henry.
Don't do it, Henry.

You know what? Maybe I won't.

(sighs) I knew you
wouldn't do it, Henry.

Oh, my God, I have to!

Henry!
Oh...

What? I'm not chewing.

I'm just holding it
in my mouth for a second.

Ha! You see
that, Pop?

I'm sorry. Oh... Oh, no.

I'm swallowing.

Oh, it's so good.

I'm having another bite.

No!
(laughs)

I win!

I win! Ha!

How do you like my
joke burgers now, Pop?

Okay, Junior.

You win.

Thanks for coming
to my party.

Hey, everybody!
I'm covered in bean juice!

How about I run around
and you all try to catch me

like a pig at the state fair?

Here I go.
(panting)

Try to catch me.

No one's trying very hard!

Good night, everyone.

Merry Christmas.

Well, he's out.

More bean boy
for the rest of you.

(panting)

BOB:
What?!

Why is everybody
looking at me?!

Bobby, easy, easy.

Dad. Dad.
Yes, Louise?

Everyone looks like
they're mad at you.

Thank you.

Maybe this will
cheer you up, Dad.

(sighs)
Thanks, Tina.

Open it. There's
something inside.

A snow globe.

Yes.
Great. Th...

Wait, where'd you get this?
Europe.

No, the newspaper.
Where-where did you find this?

From Pop Pop's basement.

It was in his desk.
Look at him.

He's like a baby,

playing with the
wrapping paper. Aw.

Bobby, what is it?

It's the first review
of Bob's Burgers.

My dad saved it.

Oh, my God.
That's beautiful.

Read it.
I don't think so.

Read it.

I don't want to read it.
Read it!

"Unique burgers.
Good prices.

"Service leaves something
to be desired.

But worth the trip."

Hmm. Not great.

I mean, it's okay.

Oh, Bobby.

He does love you,

and you drove him out
of his own restaurant.

On Christmas.

(sighs)
Oh, my God.

What did I do?
I just told you.

Oh. Right.
Drive your father out on Christmas...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I heard.

Oh, my God,
that's so sad.

So much for
Christmas magic.

(door opens)
PETE: Put this on

and come with me.

(gasps)
Wait, what?

Your dad's in my bar.

We're gonna go see him.

Go, Bobby. Go.
I-I...

The kids and I will take
care of the diner. Go.

Yeah, Dad.
When a mysterious

cowboy/Santa says,
"Come with me,"

you climb on that horse
and ride.

Also, free hat!

(country music playing)

BOB:
I thought this was a disco.

PETE:
That's Wednesdays.

Thursdays, we
watch Scandal.

Tonight's Country Western
line dancing.

And tomorrow's Christmas...
or did you forget?

I know. I know.

Things got
a little heated.

There he is.
Go talk to him.

With the hat.

Okay.

Just leave me alone.

Pop, come back to the diner.
I'm busy.

You're just
sitting here.

No, I'm not.
I'm... I'm dancing.

Da... dancing?

You don't dance!

(grunting)

Whoa.

Get out there,
Bob Junior.

Pop, will you please
just come and talk to me?

If you want to
talk to your dad,

you're gonna have
to boot scoot to him.

What does that mean?
What's "boot scoot"?

It looks like
this. Hey-a!

Bend... bend
your knees.

I'm-I'm... ow, okay.

Now shake
that pudding.

What do you want?

I just want to
talk to you.

You're doing it wrong.
Those aren't the steps.

Oh, my God. Really?

This is why I didn't
want to work with you.

You have to control
everything I do.

My cooking,
my dancing...

Not everyone wants to dance
exactly the same way.

Okay, bad example.

You guys are
really good at this.

I'm here every
Friday night.

And Thursdays.

I love Scandal.

Pop, are you...?
I'm not gay, Bob.

These guys are
my friends.

They eat at my diner;
I come here and dance.

Oh!

Ah, damn,
missed it again.

Why'd you come
over here, Bob?

To miss steps?

Look, Pops,
you are who you are,

and I realize now
that I should just accept that.

That's right.
Be yourself, sister.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Not for leaving.

And not for starting
my own restaurant.

But just for how
I handled things on

the day we broke up.
(dancers whoop)

I know it was your way
of showing love, it's just...

I never felt like
you were supportive of me.

At least, that's what I thought

until I found
the review you saved.

You found that, huh?
The kids did.

Not a good idea to let my kids
into your basement, by the way.

Gene took a bean bath.

Well, at least somebody's
having a good time tonight.

Dad, I'm sorry.
You didn't deserve

to be embarrassed
in front of your customers.

I did it back then
and I did it again tonight.

Nope. Wrong time.

Listen, I know
why you had to go.

I can be...
not great to work with.

It was tough without
your mom around.

You did great
on your own.

She'd be very proud.
You really think...

Okay, I'm the only guy
facing this way now.

So I'll turn around.

Here we go.

Gene, take this chicken
noodle soup to table five.

On it!

Tina, clean up the spill
by the bathroom.

Bathroom spill
is my middle name.

Attagirl.
Louise, grab some napkins

for the kid at the counter.

That kid's a mess!
I know.

BIG BOB:
Look at your family in there.

They really can sling hash
when they want to.

They don't usually
work this hard.

You got happy kids.

Weird, happy kids.
That's nice.

You're a good dad, Junior.
Thanks, Pops.

Let's go back
inside, huh?

Yeah, let's...
(lock clicks)

(laughing)
Hey! Hey!

Kids, let us in.

Ha ha, no!
Open it!

This is our
restaurant now!

It's called
Chez Restauranto,

and we're
Brazilian barbecue!

TINA:
Here.

Aw, come on, Tina!
Sorry.

LINDA:
All right! Christmas magic!

My Bobbies are back!

HENRY: Yay!
(applause)

BIG BOB:
Merry Christmas, everyone.

LOUISE:
Merry Christmas, Pop Pop!

? Christmas magic ?

? Christmas magic ?

? Comes every time
each year, whoo! ?

? Christmas magic ?

? And all the cold
hungry people ?

? Christmas magic ?
? Fa-la-la-la-la ?

? They're dying in the streets ?

That can't be good.

? Christmas magic ?

? Me and my family
will be warm tonight ?

? Aw, yeah,
fa-la-la-la-la-la-la. ?

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0