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1
00:00:18,246 --> 00:00:20,214
(indistinct arguing)
2
00:00:20,215 --> 00:00:22,516
- DOUG: Your son ruined everything!
- LINDA: My son is a star!
3
00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:25,386
(talking over each other)
Calm down, Linda, calm down.
4
00:00:25,387 --> 00:00:26,854
He's the future
Neil Patrick Harris!
5
00:00:26,855 --> 00:00:28,489
What? Neil Patrick Harris is
way more talented than Gene.
6
00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:30,023
FROND: Quiet down, everyone!
7
00:00:30,024 --> 00:00:30,825
Thank you.
8
00:00:30,859 --> 00:00:32,292
Now, there's
a lot of parents
9
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,494
and children
waiting out there
10
00:00:33,495 --> 00:00:34,862
that came to see
the fall musical,
11
00:00:34,863 --> 00:00:36,330
but it seems that we have
12
00:00:36,331 --> 00:00:37,598
some conflict going on here.
13
00:00:37,599 --> 00:00:40,433
Luckily, conflict
has one enemy: Me.
14
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:42,435
So I'm going to get out
my peace pad
15
00:00:42,436 --> 00:00:44,738
and we are going
to process this mess
16
00:00:44,739 --> 00:00:46,606
and put it to rest.
17
00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:48,541
Now, who wants
to tell me what happened?
18
00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:49,776
I'll tell it!
19
00:00:49,777 --> 00:00:51,611
Well, hey, why does
he get to tell it?
20
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:53,580
Because he's my
beautiful boy, that's why.
21
00:00:53,581 --> 00:00:55,082
Yeah, and you're
just someone's dad.
22
00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:56,316
Yeah, my dad.
23
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,784
People, please! Gene...
24
00:00:57,818 --> 00:01:00,954
It started with
the school announcements...
25
00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:03,390
MS. LABONZ (over P.A.):
Attention Wagstaff student body.
26
00:01:03,391 --> 00:01:05,192
The fall musical is coming up,
27
00:01:05,193 --> 00:01:07,026
and we're not
doing Grease again.
28
00:01:07,027 --> 00:01:09,053
I can't!
I'm not doing it!
29
00:01:09,062 --> 00:01:11,097
For this year,
we will be accepting
30
00:01:11,098 --> 00:01:13,432
student submissions for
an original production.
31
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:14,566
(gasps)
32
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:15,667
So, if there's anyone out there
33
00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:17,603
- who's creative...
- Me.
34
00:01:17,604 --> 00:01:19,338
- Talented...
- Me!
35
00:01:19,339 --> 00:01:20,506
And musically brilliant...
36
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:21,673
Me!
37
00:01:21,674 --> 00:01:23,009
...this is your big chance.
38
00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,344
Also, today's lunch is tacos.
39
00:01:25,345 --> 00:01:26,645
Tacos?!
40
00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:28,480
This is the best
day of my life!
41
00:01:28,481 --> 00:01:30,016
Shirt rip!
42
00:01:30,017 --> 00:01:31,350
(grunting)
43
00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:34,320
- You guys!
- This is it!
44
00:01:34,321 --> 00:01:35,454
I can finally unleash
45
00:01:35,455 --> 00:01:36,988
my passion project
on the world!
46
00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:38,123
Are you talking
about...
47
00:01:38,124 --> 00:01:39,917
Die Hard,
the Musical!
48
00:01:39,926 --> 00:01:42,003
You've been working on
that one for a while.
49
00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:45,363
Yeah, ever since I saw Die Hard
and said, why is no one singing?
50
00:01:45,364 --> 00:01:46,597
Why is no one dancing?
51
00:01:46,598 --> 00:01:47,883
What's wrong with Hollywood?
52
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,901
Uh-oh. Who's got
a necklace in her mouth,
53
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,429
is smothering, and
like-likes you?
54
00:01:51,437 --> 00:01:52,971
- Mom?
- LOUISE: No, Courtney.
55
00:01:52,972 --> 00:01:53,738
Oh, no.
56
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:54,806
Hey, Gene.
Ooh...
57
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,308
Okay, she wants
you back.
58
00:01:56,309 --> 00:01:57,375
I'll handle this.
59
00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,510
Look, Courtney, I know
you want to get with this.
60
00:01:59,511 --> 00:02:01,346
Okay? But honey...
61
00:02:01,347 --> 00:02:02,680
It's a mess.
62
00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:04,900
I mean, what are we
even looking at here?
63
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,351
Uh, no, I don't want
to get back together.
64
00:02:07,352 --> 00:02:08,920
This is about the musical.
65
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,721
I bet you're doing
the Die Hard One, right?
66
00:02:10,722 --> 00:02:12,356
He let me read it
when we were dating.
67
00:02:12,357 --> 00:02:14,792
That's it, Courtney.
Just remember the good times.
68
00:02:14,793 --> 00:02:17,127
Anyway, I'd love to be in it.
69
00:02:17,128 --> 00:02:19,597
And I've been taking
a hip-hop dance class...
70
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,066
(muttering):
I my am Courtney I am...
71
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:24,602
I like to give...
and I go to the...
72
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,937
I... ho ho, and this...
73
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,738
the ho ho, and now I'm done.
74
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:30,874
(breathing hard):
So, yeah.
75
00:02:30,908 --> 00:02:32,275
First of all, I love it.
76
00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:33,309
Second of all, no.
77
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:35,479
Only because I want
my play to be good.
78
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,680
I totally get it.
79
00:02:36,681 --> 00:02:39,349
That dance was horrible,
and I'm really annoying.
80
00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:40,478
Anyway, bye!
81
00:02:40,485 --> 00:02:42,418
- What?
- I didn't say that.
82
00:02:42,419 --> 00:02:44,454
But I think I captured
the spirit of your words.
83
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,856
I am not annoying.
84
00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,423
Well...
Yeah, you are.
85
00:02:47,424 --> 00:02:48,558
Yeah, it's bad.
86
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,059
Well, I remember
it this way.
87
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,261
May I be in your
Die Hard musical, please?
88
00:02:52,262 --> 00:02:53,429
No! I like tacos!
89
00:02:53,430 --> 00:02:54,397
(farts)
90
00:02:54,398 --> 00:02:55,365
Yeah, that
sounds like Gene.
91
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:56,366
Yep.
92
00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:58,201
Anyway, along came the day
93
00:02:58,202 --> 00:03:00,203
we were all supposed
to submit our plays...
94
00:03:00,204 --> 00:03:02,038
So what's your
fall musical about?
95
00:03:02,039 --> 00:03:03,339
Leaves.
(blows note)
96
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,774
? Red, yellow,
orange and brown ?
97
00:03:05,775 --> 00:03:08,411
? They're on the tree
then they fall down. ?
98
00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:10,546
Good...
(piano playing)
99
00:03:10,547 --> 00:03:12,181
Wait, who's in there now?
100
00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:14,450
? I've got the passion
of a woman ?
101
00:03:14,451 --> 00:03:16,019
? Looking for her start
102
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:19,822
? And the only thing
bigger than my hair ?
103
00:03:19,823 --> 00:03:22,324
(off-key):
? Is my heart!
104
00:03:22,325 --> 00:03:24,493
And that's just one
of the amazing songs
105
00:03:24,494 --> 00:03:26,929
from Working Girl,
the Musical!
106
00:03:26,963 --> 00:03:29,565
Courtney!
You stole my thunder!
107
00:03:29,566 --> 00:03:30,900
No, I didn't.
108
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:32,801
So it's just a coincidence
109
00:03:32,802 --> 00:03:34,603
you took a beloved movie
from the 1980s...
110
00:03:34,604 --> 00:03:37,439
some say the sassy
sister film to Die Hard...
111
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,875
and set it to music and lyrics?
Thunder thief!
112
00:03:39,876 --> 00:03:42,277
I'm sorry, but that
keyboard is adorable.
113
00:03:42,278 --> 00:03:43,746
Did you rescue it
from a shelter?
114
00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:45,080
Nice one, Daddy.
115
00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:47,416
Well, where'd you get
your keyboard, Doug,
116
00:03:47,417 --> 00:03:49,051
the Too-Big Keyboard Store?
117
00:03:49,052 --> 00:03:50,685
Enough keyboard insults.
118
00:03:50,686 --> 00:03:52,187
Gene, it'll be your turn
in a minute
119
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,655
and we can hear what you've got.
120
00:03:53,689 --> 00:03:55,457
You'll hear what
I've got, all right.
121
00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:57,392
Because it is very audible!
122
00:03:57,393 --> 00:04:01,096
(chanting): Nakatomi, Nakatomi,
Nakatomi, Nakatomi,
123
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,031
Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi...
124
00:04:03,032 --> 00:04:04,899
Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.
125
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:06,801
But I haven't even...
It's fine, don't worry.
126
00:04:06,835 --> 00:04:07,802
Thank you.
127
00:04:07,803 --> 00:04:09,504
Peter, you can
come in now.
128
00:04:09,505 --> 00:04:11,806
Ready to catch my fall musical?
129
00:04:11,807 --> 00:04:13,508
It's fall, y'all!
130
00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:15,343
Ms. LaBonz, did I mention
that I know Carly Simon,
131
00:04:15,344 --> 00:04:16,778
the artist behind
the Working Girl
132
00:04:16,779 --> 00:04:18,113
and "Let the River Run,"
133
00:04:18,114 --> 00:04:19,847
and if we do our play,
she'll come to the show?
134
00:04:19,882 --> 00:04:21,415
We're doing Working Girl!
135
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,584
- Yeah!
- All right!
136
00:04:22,618 --> 00:04:24,819
- Aah!
- Oh.
137
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,187
Oh, my poor baby!
138
00:04:26,188 --> 00:04:28,723
- My baby.
- Lin, not so hard.
139
00:04:28,724 --> 00:04:29,857
Can we please
stay focused here?
140
00:04:29,858 --> 00:04:31,358
We absolutely can,
Mr. Frond.
141
00:04:31,359 --> 00:04:32,326
Let me take over.
142
00:04:32,327 --> 00:04:35,229
You see, being
the generous soul that I am,
143
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:37,331
I had to step in
and help a brother out.
144
00:04:37,332 --> 00:04:39,767
Louise, why are we
in the boiler room?
145
00:04:39,768 --> 00:04:42,236
I want to just go home
and crawl into bed
146
00:04:42,237 --> 00:04:44,305
and have a good, long
dutch oven cry.
147
00:04:44,306 --> 00:04:45,272
Buck up, Gene.
148
00:04:45,273 --> 00:04:46,908
It's like I scream
into my pillow
149
00:04:46,909 --> 00:04:48,709
every time I don't get
a horse on my birthday:
150
00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,010
There's always
next year!
151
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,312
Guys! There's a
secret boiler room
152
00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:54,214
in the back of the boiler room
that no one knows about.
153
00:04:54,215 --> 00:04:55,381
I think, in the olden days,
154
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,417
they used it as
the faculty opium den.
155
00:04:58,252 --> 00:04:59,552
Great.
So why are we here?
156
00:04:59,587 --> 00:05:01,254
We're here because this room
157
00:05:01,255 --> 00:05:03,323
happens to be under
the very auditorium
158
00:05:03,324 --> 00:05:06,026
where Working Girl, the Musical
is gonna be performed.
159
00:05:06,027 --> 00:05:08,194
Then this is where
I want to die!
160
00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:10,097
No, listen!
You're gonna put on
161
00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:11,832
the guerilla-slash-protest
production
162
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:15,501
of Die Hard, the Musical
on the same night, in here!
163
00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:17,737
It's the perfect way
to stick it to Courtney,
164
00:05:17,738 --> 00:05:19,538
right in her
thunder-stealing face!
165
00:05:19,539 --> 00:05:21,340
(gasps)
It's brilliant!
166
00:05:21,341 --> 00:05:22,541
The symbolism!
167
00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:25,778
We'll be up-staging her
from down-stairs-stage!
168
00:05:25,812 --> 00:05:27,246
No, what's
brilliant is
169
00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:29,715
we're going to charge
five bucks a head.
170
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,450
Wow!
What a considerate
171
00:05:31,451 --> 00:05:34,286
- and lucrative solution to Gene's problem.
- I know!
172
00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:35,955
You're the smartest person
in the whole world!
173
00:05:35,956 --> 00:05:37,189
I know!
174
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:38,524
(chanting):
Louise is the best!
175
00:05:38,525 --> 00:05:41,493
Louise is the best!
Louise is the best!
176
00:05:41,494 --> 00:05:43,395
Louise is the best!
177
00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:45,621
What?
178
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,322
What's taking so long?
Waiting is gross.
179
00:05:51,323 --> 00:05:52,923
Yeah, the show must go on!
180
00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:54,124
That's a thing, right?
181
00:05:54,158 --> 00:05:56,292
Well, Gene, you
violated school rules
182
00:05:56,293 --> 00:05:58,461
by entering the prohibited
secret boiler room...
183
00:05:58,462 --> 00:05:59,596
Yup.
184
00:05:59,597 --> 00:06:01,765
You decided to put on
a guerilla-slash-protest play
185
00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:04,388
- the same night as the fall musical...
- Amazing.
186
00:06:04,402 --> 00:06:07,103
Things are not stacking up
in your favor here.
187
00:06:07,104 --> 00:06:09,305
Do you want the whole story
or not, Mr. Frond?
188
00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:11,141
Oh, my God, every word.
I could do this all night.
189
00:06:11,175 --> 00:06:13,376
So things were really
coming together...
190
00:06:13,377 --> 00:06:15,611
Okay, we got the musical,
we got the venue.
191
00:06:15,612 --> 00:06:17,513
Now all we need
is the actors.
192
00:06:17,514 --> 00:06:19,248
Right. Do you know
Sir Ian McKellen?
193
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:20,683
No.
- Crap.
194
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:23,318
Hello, Courtney.
Cool piece of paper.
195
00:06:23,319 --> 00:06:24,787
Gene, if you're here to try out
196
00:06:24,788 --> 00:06:26,321
for Working Girl, the Musical,
you're too late.
197
00:06:26,322 --> 00:06:27,757
I'm posting
the cast list right now.
198
00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:29,291
But I suppose I
could work you in,
199
00:06:29,292 --> 00:06:30,492
as like a really
stupid stapler
200
00:06:30,493 --> 00:06:31,961
or a desk
or something.
201
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,262
I'd be an
incredible stapler!
202
00:06:33,296 --> 00:06:34,697
But don't even worry about it,
203
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,131
- 'cause I'm putting on a pl...
- Weight!
204
00:06:36,132 --> 00:06:37,567
He's putting on
a lot of weight,
205
00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:39,535
not being in any plays or
talking about other plays
206
00:06:39,536 --> 00:06:41,803
that could get
him in trouble.
207
00:06:41,804 --> 00:06:43,505
Oh, right...
208
00:06:43,506 --> 00:06:45,074
Oh, well, good luck
with your weight gain.
209
00:06:45,075 --> 00:06:46,841
Looks like you're
almost there, bye!
210
00:06:46,842 --> 00:06:48,310
Thank you.
211
00:06:48,344 --> 00:06:50,045
You guys,
I'm secretary number one!
212
00:06:50,046 --> 00:06:51,780
Eat it, two and three!
213
00:06:51,781 --> 00:06:52,948
Yay!
214
00:06:52,949 --> 00:06:54,249
- Aw, man.
- Come on!
215
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,286
Well, Mom, I guess I don't have
the dashing good looks and charm
216
00:06:57,287 --> 00:06:59,221
of a medium-young Harrison Ford.
217
00:06:59,255 --> 00:07:01,557
I think I've
found our cast.
218
00:07:01,558 --> 00:07:04,656
LOUISE: May I present the People
that Didn't Get Cast
219
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:07,295
in Courtney's Play But Still
Want to Be in a Play Players.
220
00:07:07,329 --> 00:07:09,230
Yep, did not make the cut.
221
00:07:09,231 --> 00:07:11,031
I guess I'll have to win
an Oscar for wrestling.
222
00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:13,501
Is it because I can't not sing
like Mariah Carey?
223
00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:15,936
? I can't help it.
224
00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:17,771
- We stepped on each other's lines.
- We stepped on each other's lines.
225
00:07:17,806 --> 00:07:19,773
Miss Merkin, what
are you doing here?
226
00:07:19,774 --> 00:07:23,711
I've played piano for the
Wagstaff Musical for 24 years.
227
00:07:23,712 --> 00:07:26,247
Then Doug comes in
and pushes me out!
228
00:07:26,281 --> 00:07:28,116
Well, how are you
with a Casio?
229
00:07:28,117 --> 00:07:30,485
(plays beautiful riff,
adds dog bark)
230
00:07:30,486 --> 00:07:32,220
I think I can manage.
231
00:07:32,221 --> 00:07:33,554
Oh, wait.
We still need a girl
232
00:07:33,555 --> 00:07:34,855
to play Holly
Gennaro McClane.
233
00:07:34,856 --> 00:07:37,225
- So I guess that's you?
- Oh, no way.
234
00:07:37,226 --> 00:07:39,059
I'm that blond bad-ass
guy or nothing.
235
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,728
Fine, then it's Tina.
Where is Tina?
236
00:07:40,729 --> 00:07:42,529
TINA:
? I'm Katherine Parker
237
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,498
? And I'm super rich
238
00:07:44,499 --> 00:07:47,901
? And soon you will find
that I'm quite a... bleep. ?
239
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,336
Okay, so
I betrayed Gene
240
00:07:49,337 --> 00:07:50,570
by being in
Courtney's play,
241
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,454
but I have a perfectly
good explanation.
242
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,709
? I'm a business man
with a business plan ?
243
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:59,747
? I need a business woman
with some business hands... ?
244
00:07:59,748 --> 00:08:00,914
So, yeah.
245
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,215
Oh, God.
246
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:04,518
But your characters don't even
end up together!
247
00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:05,619
We're all allowed to interpret
the movie differently.
248
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,621
No, they definitely
don't end up together.
249
00:08:07,622 --> 00:08:08,622
Eh, to each his own.
250
00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:09,789
No, they
really don't.
251
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,190
Well, comme ci comme ça.
252
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,591
All right, well, now
you're just saying words.
253
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,808
C'est la vie.
254
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,828
Anyway, it was the day
before the big show.
255
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,897
Some of you might
call it yesterday...
256
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,466
See you at my play
tomorrow night.
257
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,834
I wrote a play, we're doing it
tomorrow, see you there.
258
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,870
Where? Wait...
You hear that?
259
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,272
It's the sound of
me having a play
260
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,073
and you not having one!
It sounds like,
261
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,509
? Yeah, I have a play
and you don't have a play ?
262
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,344
? I have a play,
you don't have a play... ?
263
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,013
Aah! I'll show you,
Courtney Wheeler!
264
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,615
In a way that I can't
tell you about right now!
265
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:39,417
So never mind! Bye!
266
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:42,003
? Why did you throw
that corpse on my car? ?
267
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:45,131
? 'Cause I'm inviting you
to the party, pal ?
268
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,925
? Think we're gonna
be great pals ?
269
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:50,895
? Al and John,
John and Al... ?
270
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:52,564
Now come here.
I'm gonna wrestle ya.
271
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,698
Get over here!
Ow! Okay...
272
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,166
- Come on!
- GENE: No, no, no, no!
273
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,801
John McClane
is in a tower.
274
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,903
Sergeant Al Powell
is on the ground!
275
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,171
You can't wrestle!
276
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,207
- I made a creative choice.
- Very bold.
277
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,874
And Rudy, you're moving
your hands too much.
278
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,193
And quit wheezing!
279
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,178
(wheezing):
I'm sorry, the asbestos might be
280
00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,714
affecting my lungs a little,
but I'll work on it.
281
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,381
Um, can we turn down the heat?
282
00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:12,950
Yeah, it's boiling
up in here!
283
00:09:12,951 --> 00:09:14,351
It's the boiler
room, Zeke!
284
00:09:14,352 --> 00:09:15,619
It's what it does!
285
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:17,755
It's like you guys
don't even care about this
286
00:09:17,756 --> 00:09:19,423
guerilla-slash-protest musical
287
00:09:19,424 --> 00:09:21,491
designed to take down Courtney
and send us to Broadway!
288
00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:22,426
Uh, Gene.
289
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:23,794
- (clears throat) A... a word?
- Mm-hmm.
290
00:09:23,795 --> 00:09:25,696
The play is
tomorrow night.
291
00:09:25,697 --> 00:09:27,098
We gotta get
it together.
292
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,733
Give 'em a pep
talk, you know?
293
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,201
Put some fire
in their butts!
294
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,069
Is the putting
a fire in the butt
295
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,104
part of the inspiration,
296
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,271
or is that
a separate suggestion?
297
00:09:34,272 --> 00:09:36,140
- Ugh, damn it.
- Fine.
298
00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:38,341
Listen up: I wrote an
incredible musical.
299
00:09:38,342 --> 00:09:41,044
And I thought together we'd
create the kind of theater
300
00:09:41,045 --> 00:09:42,812
that would make the gods cry.
301
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:44,647
But now I'm like,
"What am I, nuts?"
302
00:09:44,648 --> 00:09:45,949
You're all blowing it!
303
00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:47,450
Zeke with your wrestling,
304
00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,052
Darryl and your
extra-note singing,
305
00:09:49,053 --> 00:09:50,686
Crazy Arm Rudy over here!
306
00:09:50,687 --> 00:09:51,821
Andy and Ollie,
307
00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:53,890
FBI agents don't hold hands!
308
00:09:53,891 --> 00:09:55,324
These ones do.
309
00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:57,493
Yeah, and they sleep
in the same bed.
310
00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:59,896
And now I'm realizing
that the only way
311
00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:01,330
to make this production shine
312
00:10:01,331 --> 00:10:04,100
is if I fire all of you
and play all the roles myself!
313
00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:05,368
Uh... (chuckling)
314
00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:07,403
Say what?
Except for Miss Merkin.
315
00:10:07,404 --> 00:10:09,239
You're my rock, girl.
Thank you.
316
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,640
And I've been thinking
about getting you
317
00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:11,907
drums and maybe
a cute top.
318
00:10:11,908 --> 00:10:13,142
You cool with that?
You know it.
319
00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:14,643
So congratulations,
320
00:10:14,644 --> 00:10:16,745
the rest of you
have been demoted to stagehands
321
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,815
on Die Hard, the Musical,
a one-Gene show!
322
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:21,116
Hurray.
323
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,617
It's gonna kick ass.
324
00:10:24,797 --> 00:10:26,266
MR. FROND:
So you fired the casting,
325
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:28,629
and made Die Hard, the Musical
a one-man show?
326
00:10:28,663 --> 00:10:30,497
Yes, starring me. Gene. Yeah.
327
00:10:30,532 --> 00:10:31,932
Okay, well,
I've come to the part
328
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:34,026
where I blame the parents.
Bob, Linda...
329
00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:35,068
- Hi.
- Uh-huh?
330
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,269
- I'm blaming you.
- Yeah. Oh.
331
00:10:36,304 --> 00:10:38,338
Why didn't you step in
and do something here?
332
00:10:38,339 --> 00:10:39,640
Hey, we don't know
all the crazy crap
333
00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:41,664
our kids are doing.
We don't want to know.
334
00:10:41,676 --> 00:10:43,610
But I did start
to get suspicious
335
00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:45,579
when we were walking
into the fall musical
336
00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:47,881
and I found this weird
thing in my pocket.
337
00:10:47,882 --> 00:10:49,582
? Musical! Musical!
338
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:52,985
? Time to watch your sister
in a musical! ?
339
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,687
Wait, what's this weird
thing in my pocket?
340
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,221
LOUISE:
See you in there!
341
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,190
"You are invited
to attend the performance
342
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,759
"of Die Hard, the Musical,
343
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,960
"a one-Gene show,
344
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,762
in the secret boiler room
at school tonight."
345
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,364
Gene's in a musical
at school, too? Tonight?
346
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,366
Oh, my God, our kids are
in competing musicals!
347
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,101
I always dreamed this
night would happen.
348
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,470
- Aw...
- That's your dream?
349
00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:12,404
Yeah, Tina's the
president and this.
350
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,074
Well, I guess one of us
should go to Gene's play.
351
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,175
I call Working Girl!
352
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,576
Ugh, fine, I'll
go backstage
353
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:18,710
to wish Tina good luck.
354
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:21,613
Hey, my little
Sigourney Weaver-achiever.
355
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:22,848
How's your
stage fright, honey?
356
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,184
It just so happens I
found the only cure.
357
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,452
(whispering):
It's his butt.
358
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,988
Dad, Jocelyn's shoulder
pads are too big!
359
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,255
She's stuck in the doorway!
360
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,523
(grunts)
361
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,092
Just kick her
from behind!
362
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,360
Sheesh! Theater people!
363
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,361
So dramatic.
364
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,595
God, I love it.
(laughs)
365
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,297
? I want to sing,
I want to dance ?
366
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,999
? I want to act,
I want to play! ?
367
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,699
Um, Mom?
368
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,434
? Yeah...
Oh, sorry.
369
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,036
No! This is
Carly Simon's seat.
370
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,704
Are you Carly Simon?
371
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:47,538
Uh, no.
372
00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:48,672
I know you're not!
373
00:11:48,673 --> 00:11:51,109
Wow. Carly Simon's
gonna be here?!
374
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,076
Psst, Dad!
375
00:11:52,077 --> 00:11:53,611
What?
Come with me.
376
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,779
Oh, um, I think your mom was
gonna go to Gene's weird play,
377
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,915
and I was gonna stay
here and watch Tina.
378
00:11:57,916 --> 00:11:59,158
Uh, I don't think so.
379
00:11:59,184 --> 00:12:01,685
We need your giant body to make
the audience look fuller!
380
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:03,687
But Working Girl's the
film that inspired me
381
00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:05,423
to be anything
I wanted to be!
382
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,858
And so you're this?
Come on, Dad!
383
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:09,092
(sighs)
Fine.
384
00:12:09,093 --> 00:12:11,795
Hey, if you want to see some
real, gritty theater,
385
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:14,064
we got Die Hard, the Musical
down in the basement.
386
00:12:14,065 --> 00:12:15,198
Only five bucks!
387
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:16,700
Louise, don't bother
these people.
388
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,536
Plus, that's not gonna work.
Oh.
389
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,437
I'm a Die Hard freak.
Check it out.
390
00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:21,347
Bonnie Bedelia.
391
00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:22,606
Also, I'm
just an uncle,
392
00:12:22,607 --> 00:12:24,266
so no biggie.
(chuckles)
393
00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:26,343
LOUISE:
Here ya go, champ.
394
00:12:26,344 --> 00:12:27,411
Geez, it's hot in here.
395
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,979
- Whoa, is that a rat?
- Yes, it is.
396
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:30,147
Huh.
397
00:12:30,148 --> 00:12:31,388
I guess Bob went
to Gene's play.
398
00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:34,150
My son's doing
Die Hard, the Musical,
399
00:12:34,151 --> 00:12:35,251
in the basement.
400
00:12:35,252 --> 00:12:36,553
It's a competing musical.
401
00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:38,220
It's competing with this one
right now.
402
00:12:38,221 --> 00:12:39,188
Shh!
403
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:40,222
- Aah, you're jealous.
- Shh.
404
00:12:40,223 --> 00:12:42,091
? This is a boat
405
00:12:42,092 --> 00:12:44,460
? A boat that is a ferry
406
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:46,629
? Ferry on the water
407
00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:49,632
? Staten Island Ferry
408
00:12:49,633 --> 00:12:53,202
? I'm a working girl
409
00:12:53,203 --> 00:12:56,272
? A workin' working girl
410
00:12:56,273 --> 00:12:59,341
? I'm a girl
who's working ?
411
00:12:59,342 --> 00:13:01,477
? I work...
412
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:06,748
? In New York Ci... ty
413
00:13:07,892 --> 00:13:12,087
GENE: All aboard the plane
from New York to Los Angeles!
414
00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:14,022
(imitating airplane engines)
415
00:13:15,257 --> 00:13:16,424
Thanks, Argyle.
416
00:13:16,425 --> 00:13:18,093
Boy, that guy
on the airplane was right
417
00:13:18,094 --> 00:13:20,062
about taking my shoes off.
418
00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:24,633
? I'm a barefoot cop... oh!
419
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,702
? Coffee, coffee
? Coffee, coffee ?
420
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:28,336
? Coffee's all I get
? Coffee, coffee ?
421
00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:31,139
? How'm I gonna get ahead...
? Coffee, coffee... ?
422
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,808
GENE:
? I'm Grubin'
423
00:13:32,809 --> 00:13:34,977
? I'm Hans Gruber
and I'm Grubin' ?
424
00:13:34,978 --> 00:13:38,580
? And sometimes that
can mean shootin' ?
425
00:13:38,581 --> 00:13:40,982
? Mr. Takagi in the head...
426
00:13:40,983 --> 00:13:42,883
? Hey, this is Katherine,
you work for me ?
427
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:45,453
? I've broken my leg
while trying to ski ?
428
00:13:45,454 --> 00:13:47,522
? Do me a favor
and fill in for me ?
429
00:13:47,523 --> 00:13:49,324
? Even though I stole
your radio deal idea ?
430
00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:50,391
? For Trask
Industries... ?
431
00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:51,659
You did what?!
432
00:13:51,693 --> 00:13:52,594
That's my daughter!
433
00:13:52,595 --> 00:13:53,628
- Shh!
- Jealous.
434
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:54,929
This is everything
435
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:56,964
that's wrong
with Broadway today.
436
00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,967
Die Hard, one-man-show,
in the basement.
437
00:13:59,968 --> 00:14:00,935
Blow your mind!
438
00:14:00,936 --> 00:14:02,003
Okay.
439
00:14:02,004 --> 00:14:02,837
Aw, I'm missing it!
440
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,539
Maybe I can pop down for a bit.
441
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:05,873
There I go.
442
00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:08,876
? Fight scene, fight scene
443
00:14:08,877 --> 00:14:10,911
? We're gonna have
a fight scene ?
444
00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:14,214
(grunting)
445
00:14:14,215 --> 00:14:15,382
Oh, my God.
446
00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:16,784
Eh, 'scuse me,
eh, 'scuse me.
447
00:14:16,785 --> 00:14:18,686
I know, right?
He's magnificent!
448
00:14:18,687 --> 00:14:19,954
Ooh, it's warm in here.
449
00:14:19,955 --> 00:14:21,588
Hey, did Louise
charge you five bucks?
450
00:14:21,589 --> 00:14:22,790
- Yes.
- Ooh, rat!
451
00:14:22,824 --> 00:14:24,759
? I have a head for business
452
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,360
? And a bod for sin
453
00:14:26,394 --> 00:14:29,997
? Well I want both,
so count me in! ?
454
00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:31,766
Smile. Smile!
455
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,735
What the hell?
456
00:14:34,736 --> 00:14:36,336
Where is everybody?!
Hey, hey, hey!
457
00:14:36,371 --> 00:14:38,072
Where are you going?
Uh... nowhere.
458
00:14:38,073 --> 00:14:40,374
And, uh, not to the Die Hard
musical in the basement.
459
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:41,909
Great job, Jimmy Jr.!
(whoops)
460
00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:42,843
Thanks, Dad.
461
00:14:42,844 --> 00:14:44,444
Where the hell
is Carly Simon?!
462
00:14:44,445 --> 00:14:45,880
She, uh, left a message!
463
00:14:45,881 --> 00:14:47,914
She's getting drive through...
for everyone.
464
00:14:47,915 --> 00:14:50,917
? Oh, the life
of the wife of a cop ?
465
00:14:50,918 --> 00:14:54,421
? Makes my head spin
around like a top... ?
466
00:14:54,422 --> 00:14:56,089
Hey, hey! Five bucks!
467
00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:57,191
What's going on?!
468
00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:58,792
You're doing your
Die Hard musical?!
469
00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:00,594
Oh, I love the
Holly Gennaro McClane number.
470
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,595
Oh, my God!
471
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:02,529
He's musical battling us.
472
00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:03,930
I've seen it
a million times!
473
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:04,798
Stop it!
474
00:15:04,799 --> 00:15:06,866
Stop that singing
right now!
475
00:15:06,867 --> 00:15:08,902
Nobody tells my son
to stop singing!
476
00:15:08,903 --> 00:15:10,571
Well, actually, I've
probably seen enough.
477
00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:12,172
Keep going, baby!
478
00:15:12,173 --> 00:15:13,674
? That Johnny McClane's
479
00:15:13,675 --> 00:15:15,509
? Driving this gal insane...
480
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,777
I'll make him stop.
481
00:15:17,778 --> 00:15:20,214
(slow-motion):
Daddy, no!
482
00:15:20,215 --> 00:15:21,615
(grunting in slow motion)
483
00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:23,445
(audience gasping)
484
00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:25,150
(slow-motion):
Huh?
485
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,220
- (gasping) Ugh!
- Wow.
486
00:15:27,221 --> 00:15:31,056
Yes! That man hit my son
with a shoulder pad.
487
00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:32,225
Hold on!
488
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:34,493
I accidentally grabbed
a shoulder pad,
489
00:15:34,494 --> 00:15:36,629
maybe it went flying,
maybe not.
490
00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:38,231
And then she
came after me!
491
00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:39,465
And Bob pushed me!
492
00:15:39,466 --> 00:15:41,400
Hey, I was just pushing you
away from Linda.
493
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:42,468
She's crazy.
494
00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:43,469
That's right, honey!
495
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:45,104
Oh, my God. I'm rich.
496
00:15:45,105 --> 00:15:46,339
- What?
- Nothing.
497
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,806
Well, I think
I've heard everything.
498
00:15:47,807 --> 00:15:49,842
Great, let's all go watch
the end of my play.
499
00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:52,211
I hear the finale
is amazing.
500
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,746
No, no, my play!
501
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:55,680
Nobody wants to watch you
running around changing wigs!
502
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,182
Tell that
to British Parliament!
503
00:15:57,183 --> 00:15:58,717
I-I have to admit,
watching one person
504
00:15:58,718 --> 00:16:00,352
do Die Hard is
a little... bad.
505
00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:01,954
(gasps)
Father!
506
00:16:01,955 --> 00:16:04,389
Hey, at least Gene's was raw!
From the gut.
507
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,925
Courtney's was all slick
like a kid didn't even do it.
508
00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:09,427
That's because a kid
could never do it. Never!
509
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:10,796
Oh, yeah?
510
00:16:10,797 --> 00:16:12,697
My son's not the one
who promised Carly Simon,
511
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:13,999
and then left
everyone hanging!
512
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,201
She just texted me
that she was car-jacked,
513
00:16:16,202 --> 00:16:18,070
but she's still going
to try to make it!
514
00:16:18,071 --> 00:16:20,305
So we should finish
our play, Mr. Frond.
515
00:16:20,306 --> 00:16:21,406
Yeah!
516
00:16:21,407 --> 00:16:22,807
(stammers)
No, no, no, no, no.
517
00:16:22,808 --> 00:16:24,276
My mother was right.
518
00:16:24,277 --> 00:16:26,611
This musical theater stuff is
just too dangerous.
519
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,112
So for the safety of everyone,
520
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,282
there will be no more
musicals tonight.
521
00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:31,115
And maybe ever!
522
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,417
LOUISE: What?
LINDA and TINA: No!
523
00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:33,682
I don't know if I have
that authority,
524
00:16:33,686 --> 00:16:35,754
but at least for tonight,
it's finished.
525
00:16:35,755 --> 00:16:37,121
- Oh, come on!
- No!
526
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,862
Tina, what happened?
527
00:16:41,863 --> 00:16:43,030
Are we gonna finish
the play?
528
00:16:43,031 --> 00:16:44,132
No, come here.
529
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,266
Shh-shh-shh.
Come here, come here.
530
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:46,434
We'll get through this.
531
00:16:46,435 --> 00:16:47,668
I-I-I don't want...
No. No, thanks.
532
00:16:47,669 --> 00:16:49,570
Okay, time to go home,
everyone.
533
00:16:49,571 --> 00:16:50,571
Show's over.
534
00:16:50,572 --> 00:16:51,606
(all groaning)
535
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:53,807
Yeah, the whole night
was a bust.
536
00:16:53,808 --> 00:16:55,443
Come on, Gene.
Let's go home.
537
00:17:00,593 --> 00:17:01,659
Wait! Mr. Frond!
538
00:17:01,694 --> 00:17:02,693
What?
539
00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:03,928
I guess one boy,
540
00:17:03,929 --> 00:17:05,362
no matter how talented...
541
00:17:05,363 --> 00:17:07,298
and charismatic...
and likable...
542
00:17:07,299 --> 00:17:10,434
doesn't have the right to ruin
musicals for everyone.
543
00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:12,869
So, Courtney,
you finish your play.
544
00:17:12,904 --> 00:17:13,937
Aw, Gene.
545
00:17:13,938 --> 00:17:14,972
So noble!
546
00:17:14,973 --> 00:17:16,807
No, Gene.
You were right.
547
00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:18,175
I did steal your thunder.
548
00:17:18,176 --> 00:17:20,478
Working Girl is the sassy
sister film to Die Hard.
549
00:17:20,479 --> 00:17:22,045
Everybody knows that.
550
00:17:22,046 --> 00:17:24,615
I was just so mad you wouldn't
let me be in your play.
551
00:17:24,616 --> 00:17:28,586
Well, maybe we can be
in each other's plays.
552
00:17:28,587 --> 00:17:29,686
I... What?!
553
00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:31,422
We just need three and a half
hours to prepare.
554
00:17:31,423 --> 00:17:33,556
Gene, it's 9:30, and I have
a lot of sweat in my underwear.
555
00:17:33,557 --> 00:17:34,625
Fine, fine.
556
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:35,659
25 minutes.
557
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,828
(stammers)
No way, Gene. This is done.
558
00:17:37,862 --> 00:17:39,229
Aw, too bad.
559
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,197
Seems like that conflict
resolution could've been epic.
560
00:17:41,198 --> 00:17:42,633
Maybe award winning.
561
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:43,734
Oh, my God.
562
00:17:43,735 --> 00:17:45,435
You think I could win
a Conflicty for this?!
563
00:17:45,436 --> 00:17:47,638
Yeah, you could win a Conflicty!
564
00:17:47,672 --> 00:17:49,239
Let's do it!
565
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,907
(all cheering)
566
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:53,076
All right,
come on, everybody!
567
00:17:53,077 --> 00:17:54,144
Take my hands.
568
00:17:54,145 --> 00:17:55,278
No, wait, wait.
Whoa.
569
00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:56,612
We got to do this ourselves.
570
00:17:56,613 --> 00:17:59,115
It's what Tess McGill
would've wanted.
571
00:17:59,116 --> 00:18:00,382
But Courtney,
honey...
572
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,118
(muffled mumbling)
Sometimes... Shh!
573
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,819
Sometimes to break
through the glass ceiling,
574
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,487
you got to break
some hearts.
575
00:18:05,488 --> 00:18:07,289
And glass.
576
00:18:08,759 --> 00:18:11,160
You probably think
this slap is about you.
577
00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:12,461
Ow!
578
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:14,964
So I don't know
if we can pull this off,
579
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:17,366
I mean, we wrote and rehearsed
it in under 20 minutes,
580
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:18,500
but if we do,
581
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:19,934
it's because we did it together.
582
00:18:19,935 --> 00:18:20,955
All of us.
583
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,370
That's exactly what people say
584
00:18:22,371 --> 00:18:23,805
before they make a baby,
I think.
585
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:26,474
Okay, well,
without any further ado,
586
00:18:26,475 --> 00:18:30,211
we present to you the musical
rom-com-slash-action-thriller,
587
00:18:30,212 --> 00:18:33,447
Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl.
588
00:18:36,052 --> 00:18:37,285
Oh, no!
589
00:18:37,286 --> 00:18:38,953
We're a bunch of secretaries
from New York
590
00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:41,089
held hostage in
Nakatomi Towers!
591
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:42,290
Shush!
592
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,325
I'm Karl, the one
with beautiful hair!
593
00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:46,494
I'm Hans Gruber.
Consider yourself Grubed!
594
00:18:46,495 --> 00:18:47,729
Tess McGill can't let
595
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,998
a bunch of terrorists
ruin her dream.
596
00:18:49,999 --> 00:18:51,866
I hope the police
come soon.
597
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,502
Ow! Glass!
Hurtin' John McClane's feet!
598
00:18:54,503 --> 00:18:56,003
? I'm Agent Johnson
599
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,271
? And I'm Agent Johnson
600
00:18:57,272 --> 00:18:59,440
? And we're from the FBI
601
00:18:59,441 --> 00:19:01,242
? I'm Johnson
He's Johnson!
602
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:02,743
- ? He's Johnson
- I'm Johnson!
603
00:19:02,744 --> 00:19:04,712
BOTH: ? Two fancy-footed
federal guys ?
604
00:19:04,713 --> 00:19:07,181
? I might just be
a local cop ?
605
00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:10,384
? But will you guys
back off me? ?
606
00:19:10,385 --> 00:19:12,853
? Things are getting
pretty tense ?
607
00:19:12,854 --> 00:19:15,690
? Does anybody
want coffee? ?
608
00:19:15,691 --> 00:19:19,327
You know we're not so
different, you and I.
609
00:19:19,328 --> 00:19:21,662
? We're both
ambitious, Hans ?
610
00:19:21,663 --> 00:19:24,699
Tess McGill, you've stolen
this Gruber's heart.
611
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,601
? Like I'm stealing
? Like you're stealing
612
00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:29,402
? These bearer bonds
613
00:19:29,437 --> 00:19:33,005
? I cracked the co... de
614
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,407
So here's
the bearer bonds.
615
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:35,875
Which is the same
as money, I guess.
616
00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:37,744
Hey, let's make
that radio deal.
617
00:19:37,745 --> 00:19:38,678
Hip hop?
618
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:39,646
Hip hop.
619
00:19:39,647 --> 00:19:42,215
?
620
00:19:42,216 --> 00:19:43,215
Mwah!
621
00:19:43,217 --> 00:19:45,051
That's not in the script.
622
00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:47,120
Just go with it...
they love it!
623
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,456
Is that two rows
of teeth I'm feeling?
624
00:19:49,457 --> 00:19:51,023
My baby teeth
never fell out.
625
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,292
And Jack Trainer and I
are a couple now as well,
626
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,327
so that's good.
Hip hop. Hip hop.
627
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,296
? Hans, you're feeling
love's great power ?
628
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,565
? But now I got to push you
off the tower! ?
629
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,099
Now come here.
I'm gonna get ya.
630
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,868
Come on.
631
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,003
(screams)
632
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,942
I'm so mad
about my brother
633
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,177
so I kill you
about it!
634
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,746
No...!
635
00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,947
(screams)
636
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:16,749
Thanks, Al!
637
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,417
If only there
was a place
638
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,185
where we could all be
happy and not get killed!
639
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,621
ALL:
? Maybe there's a tower
640
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:26,024
? Somewhere up above
641
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,194
? Filled with bearer bonds
and love ?
642
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:33,420
? Where dreams don't die hard
643
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:36,234
? Maybe there's a tower
644
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:39,004
? Somewhere up above
645
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,573
? Filled with shoulder pads
and love ?
646
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:47,111
? Where dreams can fly hard
647
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:52,784
? But until we can live
in that imaginary world ?
648
00:20:52,785 --> 00:21:00,057
? We'll work hard
or die trying, girl. ?
649
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,193
Yes! Yes!
(whoops)
650
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,128
Oh, my God!
651
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:05,162
Carly Simon?
652
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,263
Who?
653
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:07,231
Oh, sorry. Y-You...
654
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,332
you look
like Carly Simon.
655
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:09,999
You look like
Carly Simon.
656
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,034
It's a compliment.
657
00:21:11,035 --> 00:21:12,035
Back off.
658
00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:13,043
Sorry. Geez.
659
00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:14,637
I smell a Tony!
660
00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:17,140
Which is also what happens to be
what I call my farts.
661
00:21:17,141 --> 00:21:18,341
? Work hard... ?
662
00:21:19,609 --> 00:21:20,910
? Or die trying, ?
663
00:21:20,911 --> 00:21:24,247
WOMAN: ? Ooh, you work hard,
you die hard ?
664
00:21:24,248 --> 00:21:25,548
? Work hard ?
GENE: You work hard!
665
00:21:25,582 --> 00:21:27,217
ZEKE:
Come on, come on!
666
00:21:27,218 --> 00:21:29,652
WOMAN: ? Oh!
? Or die trying, girl ?
667
00:21:29,653 --> 00:21:31,921
? You work hard, you try hard
668
00:21:31,922 --> 00:21:33,689
? Ooh...
? Work hard ?
669
00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:35,791
? Ooh-ooh-ooh...
? Or die trying, girl ?
670
00:21:35,792 --> 00:21:36,959
GENE:
Yeah!
671
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,661
? You work hard, you die hard
672
00:21:38,662 --> 00:21:39,628
? Work hard ?
673
00:21:39,629 --> 00:21:42,064
? No, no, no, no, no
674
00:21:42,065 --> 00:21:45,191
? Work hard...
? Or die trying, girl ?
675
00:21:47,271 --> 00:21:50,272
GENE:
? Ooh, yeah! ?
676
00:21:50,322 --> 00:21:54,872
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