Original subtitles

You didn't think that

shirt was clean, did you?

Yeah, I got it

out of the closet. What...?

Well.

Well, I didn't put it there.

Murphy called

and canceled his policies.

All his policies.

Oh, no, honey, why?

I don't know. Something

about grease on my shirt.

All right, no staring.

Open the door, retrieve the

desired item, close the door.

There you go.

You want to come with US?

Are you serious? Yeah.

What if someone

saw me with that?

Hey, how 'bout you? You want

to go crash an airplane?

Did you see this?

I missed it.

Yeah, I glanced at it.

"Local boy makes good." Why?

I know him.

Knew him.

Russell gates?

Cates. I told you about

him once. He was an old

high school friend.

"Sentenced to death row

for the murder of an aiken,

south Carolina, policeman.

At the time of the murder,

he was on escape from the

glastonbury correctional

facility here in Connecticut,

where he was serving 28 years

for manslaughter." Wow.

Did you know all that about him?

No.

Hadn't seen him since...

High school.

Was there a "boy"

in front of that "friend"?

Yeah.

Come on, dad.

He was a year ahead of me.

And? So?

I... read a newspaper

article about him.

He's in prison.

Ouch! And you dated him?

First love.

You know, first...

No, no, puppy love, but...

Real prison.

Death row.

Whoa.

Yeah.

You know, I-I-I just

can't figure it.

I mean, he was

quiet and sweet and funny and...

He wanted to be a veterinarian.

What'd he do?

I think I'm gonna write him.

Yeah, cool. Tell him

he should have stuck with you.

Who dumped who?

Nobody, really.

He just... went away.

Yeah, do it.

What have you got to lose?

"Dear Russell,

I don't know if you'll

remember me.

Well, I suppose

you'll remember me, but...

I don't know if you'll

remember me the way

I remember you."

"You were there for me

when all that stuff at home

was such a mess,

when my parents were

separating, and...

I've just always wondered

how I would have gotten

through it if it hadn't

been for you.

You made me see that

it wasn't my fault.

You were my first boyfriend,

and I remember all sorts of

things about you.

I remember where you lived,

I remember your locker number.

I don't remember my own

locker number, but I

remember yours... j102.

I never thought anybody

would listen to me,

except you.

And you never made fun of me.

Well... maybe a little bit.

But I loved it when you did."

Okay, if it's not

a number on the multiplication

table, you know you're

gonna have a remainder,

so look for the next

lowest number.

Okay?

I-I think that's it, Mark.

Hello?

Is this Pam Stewart?

Used to be Pam Stewart?

Yes, it is.

May I ask who's calling?

Pam, you probably don't

remember me none too good.

This is, uh, Fran mcdougal.

I'm Russell's sister.

Oh, yeah.

I remember you.

You're the younger one.

Younger than my sister

Angela, but...

I'm glad I got your

number right.

Russell said you

sent him a letter.

Yeah, I read about it...

in the goddamn

kingsbury news. I might sue 'em

for printing that when

this is all over.

Oh, but what the hell.

I-I think Russell would have

written you back

if there'd been a return.

He tears up all his mail

so the pigs in there

won't read it, but

he remembered your new

name and all.

You been married long?

Uh, yeah.

Sixteen years.

You got kids?

Yeah, I've got...

A job?

Well, here's why I'm askin'.

I can't be beatin'

around the bush. No time.

I think Russell was glad

to get your letter.

Honey, just drink milk...

You know he's got

a date set and all.

A date?

That's what they call it

when they sign

the death warrant.

Lawyers say we ain't got

no more issues.

There's a clemency hearing

he could have to see if

the governor would pardon him,

but he don't even want that.

Can you come down here

and talk to him?

To south Carolina?

He won't listen to me

no more.

Angela don't want

no more arguments with him,

and his lawyers can't do

nothing if he don't want

a clemency hearing,

and I thought maybe

you could talk to him.

Oh, no, I...

You know, I've got...

I've got two kids,

I-I work three days a week

at the school.

Yeah, but he can get visits

on the weekend!

There's nobody who can

talk to him.

And he don't get

many visits.

There's family, and one

friend of his from New York.

But he's given up.

He's gonna let them kill him!

Fran, I don't know

what I could do.

Frankly...

I don't know either.

When he told me

about you writin',

I seen somethin',

a little twinkle...

Like I haven't seen in years.

I wrote him.

I didn't put a return address

on, but his sister called.

She wants me to go visit.

Visit who? Where?

Visit Russell,

in south Carolina.

Why?

Oh, for him.

Help, maybe.

Say goodbye.

Couldn't you just phone him?

You can't just dial up

death row, Keith.

I thought they...

Had those little red phones

that they...

Yeah.

When?

Go?

Next weekend.

Oh. You'd have to go

without me.

I... told Andy

I'd help him coach.

I promised him.

So you think it's okay?

Yeah...

If you think it's right.

Thank you.

Mark Wilson. Thanks.

Russell cates.

All right. Over there.

Stand over here, ma'am.

Right.

Abrams.

Abrams.

Harrington.

Name?

Pamela o'brien.

Oh, yeah, here.

Just put you on last night.

Your purse.

Oh.

Just fall through over there.

Okay, thank you.

Number four.

Stewball.

Hi, Russ.

Well, stand up

so I can see all of you.

Okay. Let me look at you.

Sit down, sit down.

Have a seat.

I thought I saw you

at the beach last summer.

Yeah, I was there.

No, seriously,

I-I travel all over.

Fuckin' one-man

national geographic.

You know, if the dope's

really good, I can get

all the way up to Alaska.

Climb McKinley,

talk to caribou on the...

On the tundra, you know.

Probably was me

you saw on the beach.

I didn't forget to put

my return address

on my letter, Russell.

I...

Did it on purpose.

You're teasing the shit

out of me, right?

No.

I just didn't know...

Hey, forget about it.

Don't worry about it.

I loved it.

It meant you didn't want

nothing from me.

I mean...

I'm giving my life

for my country, and...

That's my quota. You know.

So, I take it

you've come down here

'cause Fran did some

sob-sister number

on you, right?

I don't know why

I came down here.

Who the fuck would, you know?

I mean, these cocksuckers

here are about to kill me.

They don't know what the fuck

they're doing, so how the fuck

is someone in Connecticut

gonna know what the fuck

is going on, you know

what I mean?

What?

Doesn't sound like you.

Hey, this is me.

You know, it's too late

for that shit, 'cause, you know,

they're gonna wash my mouth

out real good

in a couple of weeks,

so, what the fuck difference

does it make what I say?

You want to be a teacher,

there's plenty inmates in here

that...

You remembered my nickname.

Stewball is a racehorse.

♪ And I wish she were mine

oh, god, you used to

drive me crazy

singing that song!

Yeah, well, let's just

don't go there, okay?

'Cause I don't remember nothing

'bout everything that's just

dead and buried.

Just buried.

It's never been

buried for me.

Yeah, well,

it should have been.

Yeah, I'm a wreck

on the highway.

You want to talk about the old

days, you go talk to Fran

'cause she loves that shit,

and that's what she wants.

I mean, she and my lawyer

want me to get down

on my bended knees

to the goddamn governor

and tell him all about

my past, you know,

and beg for his fuckin' mercy.

The clemency hearing?

Yeah, "hearing" my ass.

You know, all they're gonna hear

is their gums bumping, again.

Russell, it's...

It's worth a try.

What's your husband like?

He sells insurance.

He's good with the kids.

He likes, um, hockey

and model airplanes and...

He vote for Reagan?

Yeah.

Fuck!

Hey, don't get me started,

you know?

Where'd you meet him?

College, or...?

He was the...

First person I dated after you.

I was a sophomore,

he was a senior,

just out of the army,

and, um, we got married

when he... graduated.

Hm.

'Nam?

What?

Vietnam?

Oh, yeah.

Did he do any combat, or...?

I think.

I mean, he was there. I...

He doesn't really...

Talk about it. Right.

Right.

Right.

You okay?

Hey, fuck, I haven't

been all right in 20 years.

Shouldn't the governor

know that?

You just stop

the fucking crusade, okay?

You know, I could smell it

the minute I heard

you were coming down here.

What is it?

You know, the governor doesn't

want to hear all these sordid

details. You want to hear

all the sordid details,

is that what it is?

'Cause, you know, if you do,

you should just go home

and grab Mr. Insurance

by the collar and have...

Have him tell you

what went on over there.

Have him about the worms

he's had in his head

ever since.

Listen, they're gonna kill me,

and there's nothing you can

do about it.

Now, I don't know about

Mr. Insurance,

but maybe you can help him.

Hey.

We having fun yet?

Hello? Hey.

Hi.

Get 'em to bed yet?

Yeah, just now.

I just wanted to...

Be able to talk to you.

Everything all right?

Yeah, I'm exhausted, but...

You in a swamp or something?

What's it like down there?

I don't know, Keith.

I just went straight from

the airport to the prison,

then I came here.

What's he like?

Well...

We didn't get much time.

They just cut you off.

There...

There are visiting hours

tomorrow. I could...

I could see him for an hour

in the morning if I can

get a later flight.

Well, it's your call.

Well, it's...

You know, it's just

a couple of hours later.

Yeah, I know, I know.

What's the matter, then?

Nothing.

I just...

I didn't think you'd have that

much to talk about, I guess.

Listen, I've got to go, okay?

I'll... I'll talk to you

tomorrow, all right?

Good night.

'Bye.

Hurry up. Movie starts

in five minutes.

Mnh-mnh.

Not unless you sing to me.

Come on.

I want to see the previews.

Sing.

I'm not singing.

Come on.

All right.

♪ Oh, stewball was a racehorse

♪ and I wish she were mine

♪ she never drank water

♪ she always drank wine

come on, let's run.

Move it

into the yard!

Your lawyer died?

Yeah.

He was zapped by fuckin'

lightnin' out on the lake,

on the fourth.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Makin' all the babes

in the bikinis laugh,

and then... pow, he's gone.

You know, what bothered me

the most is it happened

on the fourth of July.

I lose my goddamn lawyer

on patriots' day.

Everybody's wagging the flag,

and my life's

going down the tubes.

You got another

lawyer, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

State jumped on it real quick,

you know? See, 'cause Thomas,

he was... he was a great lawyer.

He was... god, he made the state

just sweat everything out.

You know, he was like

fuckin' bubblegum

in their hair, you know?

You know, he even got

veterans' groups behind me,

all that shi...

But, soon as he died,

state went right to work

on that, you know?

By the time I got other lawyers,

it was too late.

Russell, it's never too late.

Don't be so fucking naive,

please.

All right, I won't be,

if you won't be stupid.

Mm... what do you mean?

I mean not trying

for clemency.

Russell,

that doesn't make sense.

Sense?

Damn, I stopped looking

for things to make sense

a long time ago.

Hey, it's 1989, you know,

and they're taking people,

still, into the back room

and they're frying them

till their eyeballs pop out.

That make any sense to you?

I mean, we got half a million

vets coming home from war,

and if they don't come...

They don't come home in a box,

you know, they get their

asses spit on.

We get 20 fucking hostages

come home from Iran, and they

get a tickertape parade.

Now, you want to talk

about sense?

Russell, listen to yourself.

You don't want to beg for mercy,

but you've got stuff to say.

Have your lawyers go

to that clemency hearing.

Give the governor an earful.

That's not begging.

The governor is

not even there.

You know, it's just...

It's just his stoolies.

Well, then,

give the stoolies an earful.

Uh, tell you what.

You come back down here,

and, you know,

see what a bunch of nonsense

this hearing is, and...

I'll tell the lawyers

to go through with it, okay?

Yeah? How 'bout that?

I can't come back here,

Russell.

No, of course not.

You know?

So, fuck it.

I'll write 'em a letter.

I think you said

something like that...

When we were together last.

When, yesterday?

No, 20 years ago.

We had ice cream,

and you told me

you were going away.

It was summer.

You had a new haircut.

You didn't want anybody

to think you were a hippy.

You told me you would

write and tell me what

it was like over there.

No, uh,

you know, that wasn't

the last time we saw each other.

Well, you wrote once,

but you didn't say very much.

No. No, I... I...

Came to your house, remember?

I'd been back about a month.

Remember my new red 'vette?

I had a new 'vette,

and I took you for a ride.

Yeah, see, after that,

I, uh...

I didn't write or nothin'.

You know, the next night,

I wrapped that 'vette

around some goddamn

useless tree.

Drunk as shit, you know?

Walked away without a scratch.

You remember that ride, right?

Yeah.

I remember.

♪♪

♪ I feel so lonely now

Russell!

♪♪

Russell!

♪♪

Thanks, Pam.

♪♪

You saved my life.

Hey.

You made it.

Yeah.

Worry a little bit.

We got... delayed.

Sat on the runway for an hour.

Couldn't call.

That's all right.

Sorry. I guess

I missed the kids.

Yeah, well,

Mark wouldn't go to sleep,

so I had to asphyxiate him.

I'm sorry, I...

You all right?

Yeah.

Tired.

I guess it didn't work out

the way you wanted, huh?

No.

But, well, yeah,

I did get him to

change his mind.

What, no pie

with his last meal?

No, got him to let

his lawyers plead for clemency.

Oh, I bet you really

had to push for that one, huh?

I did, Keith.

He's sick and all screwed up.

He... wouldn't listen

to anybody.

How come he listens to you?

Because I promised to go

back down there for the hearing.

He said he'd do it

if I was there.

W-What,

are you gonna hold his hand?

No. Keith, he can't

even be there... just his...

Friends, his lawyers,

and his family...

And his high school

sweetheart.

It's the only shot

he's got, Keith.

It's the only way

he'd do it.

Welcome home.

You know someone in prison?

Yes. I've known him since

I was just a little bit

older than you.

What'd he do?

Oh, I don't know, Mark.

I don't think it really...

He killed a policeman,

and they're gonna execute him.

What's that?

Well, they're gonna kill him.

Are you gonna go see him?

Yes, I'm gonna go see him.

He's a bad dude, right?

Yep.

Come on, Keith.

This is not just black or white.

Well, it was written

in black and white.

He killed the policeman.

He killed the other guy.

It was manslaughter.

Two killings, Pam.

We're talking about

a person, Keith, not an animal.

Are you gonna tell anyone?

There's nothing to be

ashamed of, Becca.

You guys get your dishes

and put 'em in the sink

and get your stuff.

We've got to get out of here.

Keith, I didn't want them

to think that...

Hey.

We said we were gonna

give 'em the facts.

That's what we did.

This is not

a simple issue.

Yeah, it is.

You're going back down there.

It's pure and simple.

Were you in combat...

In Vietnam?

Does he want to know?

He asked.

I was embarrassed

that I didn't know.

Well...

Just keep me out of

your conversations

with him, okay?

Why don't you ever

talk about it?

Come on, let's go.

Train's pulling out

in one minute.

One minute!

I don't understand, Russell.

How do you expect the lawyers

to get you a clemency hearing

if you want let 'em say

nothing about you?

Well, I don't expect

to get clemency.

You don't expect nothing,

you ain't never gonna get it.

When are you guys gonna stop

shaking up the shit kettle, huh?

You know, you're lucky I'm going

through this dog-and-pony show

in the first place.

You make it sound like

this is for US or something.

Well.

You're the one's lucky...

Lucky Pam made the trip

and got through that

thick skull of yours.

Come on, let's go.

Did you hear from... her?

Only the phone call

I told you about last week.

She's coming. Don't worry.

I got a letter yesterday,

but...

Time's up.

She didn't say when

she was coming.

Could you call her

and tell her to...

Well, ask her to come

visit after the hearing?

Yeah, I will.

See you in a couple of days.

You have to do that?

Yes, he has to do that.

What do you think, dad?

I think she's a winner.

Watch how she holds a bank.

Watch this.

Bring her in, dad.

Dad!

Jeez, dad, it almost hit US.

Dad?

What's happening?

How you doing, Pete?

Nothin' much, man.

Just goin' on my daily stroll.

Everything's cool?

Yeah.

Just wanted to say

good luck to you, man.

Thanks.

You know, I got you

seven-to-one with Hamilton.

He say you dead meat;

I say they gonna see the light

and they gonna spring yo' ass.

Well, I'm with Hamilton,

you know? I mean, if they

haven't seen the light

in 10 years, sure as hell

ain't gonna see it now.

Hey, but you never know.

'Least you got something

solid to tell 'em.

When my time come up to go

to the board, all I can tell

I was

a stoned junkie, I killed

two people, and I don't remember

a fucking thing about it.

You try that on for size.

I hear you.

Just gotta hang in there,

buddy. Can I get a cig, man?

Yeah, sure.

Peace, man.

Russell's out of

his head. He come up with

this idea, but he don't know!

Russell knows a helluva lot

more than you think.

I'll see you inside.

Russell doesn't

have a chance!

Fran.

Oh.

You're Pam, aren't you?

This here's the family.

N-No time for proper

introductions.

Th-this is my sister, Angela.

Hi. I remember you.

This here's Dan lebow,

Russell's friend from New York.

Hi.

This is Pam Stewart.

She's the one got Russell

to go through this hearing.

We'd better go in.

Stop your crying, Fran.

I'm the one who told him

to do this.

Do what?

Have his lawyer talk

about this stuff.

Good for you.

Maybe it'll work.

What Fran wants to do

sure won't.

Why? What did Fran

want to do?

Say what a good person

he is underneath. They've heard

that about a thousand times.

Well, it's the truth.

Where's the fucking support?

Eight years ago,

when we were just learning

about post-traumatic stress,

they all came out to help...

Every major vets' group,

even the vfw.

Now they're all middle-aged

cops and...

Russell's just a cop-killer,

and we cannot get

one letter of support!

Shit!

You pack that hearing room

with vets,

it'd be another story.

I got a...

Very low boiling point,

just like Russell.

I think maybe I'd better

wait outside.

Okay.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

these are the exact words

of Russell cates.

"Millions of these soldiers

came home damaged, like me.

They couldn't talk

about the war because nobody

wanted to listen.

But the vets

who fought for the country

couldn't just put the war

behind them.

They came back

reliving that war every day..."

When he came home,

nobody knew about

post-traumatic stress.

I'm a nurse,

and my mother was a nurse,

and... we didn't know anything.

But we knew something was wrong.

I don't know if...

I can keep going,

but you just gotta know this:

The Russell who come home

from the war

was not the same Russell

who went away.

My baby, Anthony, Jr.,

was just 2 at the time.

He doesn't remember when

his daddy would come

home from work,

so proud of his new job,

so happy to see his family.

But I do.

Anthony, Jr., is 12 now,

old enough to know

what's happened to his father,

and for years now,

he's been asking me

why they don't carry out

the sentence on the man

who killed his daddy.

I didn't want to come here

today, but I realized

that I had to

for Anthony, Jr.,

and his father.

I don't want to have to say

to Anthony, Jr., again,

Russell cates got another stay.

I want to be able

to say to him,

"Russell cates

paid for his sins."

Hey, d-did they say

what the vote was? Huh?

No.

Huh?

No.

Hey, Pam.

Yeah, come on in and sit down.

You know the drill.

Dan tell you the good news?

He told me the board

turned you down.

What's good about that?

Well, I'm the only

one's gonna die.

Can't tell you what

a relief that is.

I'm sorry, Russell.

I shouldn't have told you

to make a statement like that.

I'm really sorry.

Hey, now, you cheer up.

I got to spill my guts,

okay?

Well, at least

my lawyers did.

I've been waiting for that one

for a decade and a half.

That ride in your car...

Why didn't you just

say something?

That? What could I say?

I mean, I...

What could I have told

anybody back then?

Didn't anybody want

to hear that shit!

I wasn't just anybody.

You... you were a little girl.

You were really far away

from where I'd been.

You went to that

Bible-thumper school,

and, you know,

thinking Jesus could wash

all your sins away.

Fuck.

Well, I'm not

a little girl now.

Really? Well, yeah,

you're all grown up, huh?

Well, I'm older.

Well, age don't mean shit,

'cause, hell, I was

fuckin' 19, exactly,

when I landed in country.

It was on my birthday.

April 12th.

Yeah.

Yeah. Ahem.

You know what I did

on my birthday?

First thing I did on my birthday

was I hauled body parts

out of a huey...

A chopper, you know?

It was just back from

a hot motherfucking firefight.

Happy birthday to me.

And then I puked my guts

all over the, you know...

Well, I-I did get a present.

Somebody gave me

my very first joint.

Said it would help.

Oh, fuckin' "a."

I stayed stoned

my whole tour over there.

You could have

told me, Russell.

Well... mmm...

Sound like sort of

a hippy party, right?

Stoned for a whole year.

Well, it was one huge

fuckin' party, all right.

It was like a surprise party

every day.

You're walking along

and you hear some incoming,

and before you can

even think fuckin'

tricky dick Nixon,

guy behind you,

guy in front of you,

they're crawling around

on the ground looking for

the other half of their body.

And you're holding

their guts in your hand,

wondering how in the world

you're still alive, you know?

Ohh, Russell.

No, you're all grown up,

right?

You know what I'm talking about?

Now, you... you got two kids,

right?

You been pregnant.

Well, we come across

a pregnant woman once,

up in the highlands,

and the sergeant was sure

she was v.C.,

so he performed

a gook abortion

with his machete,

while she was alive.

Now, do you think I should have

told you about that while we

were tooling around in

my little red corvette? Huh?

I would've...

What?

I might've...

Might've what?

You might've turned me in,

right? That's what you might

have done. Well, that's what

I thought. Or you would have

spit on me, like some guy did

my first night back in

the states in Seattle,

or at least turned me

in to a nuthouse, if you knew

what was going on in my head!

You needed somebody

to help you, Russell.

Oh, shit, yeah.

We all needed help.

I needed help.

I needed somebody

to take these faces

of all these little kids

in... in this hut

and erase them forever.

I used to be able to do that.

Uh-huh.

Or I could change them.

I'd change them into grownups,

because that's what

they were supposed to be.

Grown-ups.

Okay? Charlie.

See, Charlie's in there,

and you just spray

the motherfuckin' place.

You killed... children?

You coming back

before you leave?

Um... yeah.

Uh...

We... we still have an hour.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

Here, Russell, I can...

I can take it, Russell.

He didn't have to go

in the first place.

He was the sole surviving son.

His father was in world war ii.

Russell went down

to the Pentagon

and begged to be sent.

He was gung ho squared.

He hated peaceniks.

He would have hated me.

They were all in the dark.

By the time those kids

got their eyes opened,

they were either dead

or they'd seen too much.

He scared me today.

I can imagine.

I've learned one thing

in my years with Russell:

He usually does that

when he's scared himself first.

Excuse me.

I've been waiting 20 minutes.

I have an 11:30 plane to catch.

He's ready. We just don't

have any rooms.

Well, what about that one

over there?

That's for lawyers.

Well, could we use it?

We're runnin' out of time.

He agrees to be secured,

you can use that room.

It's a pretty nice rig,

huh, don't you think?

Used to have a big ball with it,

but, you know,

it kind of slowed me down.

Well, anyway,

you get your nickel's worth.

Get to see a death row inmate

in full parade dress.

I came to see you, Russell.

I opened the paper one day,

I saw you were here,

and I haven't been

the same since.

I...

I feel like I'm walking

through fog. I see your face,

I... try to follow you,

ask you questions,

and know... why you're here.

I-I didn't come

to see a prisoner.

I knew you before all this.

I loved you before all this.

Let's just not start

that again, okay?

Okay.

We've got 30 minutes.

W-Where do you want to start?

I want to start with

the old Russell.

Well, which old Russell

is that, hm?

You know which one.

'Cause... if you mean

the cute little soldier boy

that you'd whistle up

for some hand-holding, I mean,

hey, don't these chains

kind of kill that fantasy?

You're not a fantasy,

and you didn't die in Vietnam.

I saw you in that car, Russell.

There was somebody there.

Oh... oh, okay, that one.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

That goddamn guaranteed time

bomb that nearly killed you.

Well, they booted that Russell.

The army gave him

a fuckin' honorable discharge,

and you ought to do the same.

Let's just talk to each

other, Russell.

You and me.

We don't have to talk

about the past. We can just

be ourselves, just for

a little while.

This other stuff's

not important.

Okay, you tell that

to the guy I killed

up in Connecticut.

I mean, we were buddies,

him and me.

You know, we were just

ourselves, and one night

we come home to my place

drunk as shit,

and my wife Cheryl was there,

and I blew him away.

I know.

Okay, good that you

know that.

But I don't, you see?

I don't remember.

I mean, that's the thing that...

All right, I remember that

we got into an argument,

but the next thing I remember

is that he's lying on the floor

with a bullet to his brain.

Cheryl is running around

screaming, and I'm looking

for v.C., shooting at the cops,

hollering for my ma.

She's the only one who could...

Okay. You want to have

a little tête-à-tête

with that guy? Fine.

No! I want to see

the Russell I knew.

He wasn't a killer.

He wouldn't hurt a flea.

He wanted to be a vet, remember?

Well, hey!

Hey, I am one!

I meant with animals.

Hey, I am a vet,

and I am an animal!

How 'bout that?

No, you're not.

Well, I might as well be.

Oh, come on.

What do you think this place is?

It's just a dog pound.

I walked away from

the first one of these

motherfucking places,

glastonbury correctional,

two months before

I got to parole.

That was real smart,

wasn't it?

But I just couldn't stand it.

Did you go to kingsbury?

Thought I saw you there

one day, across the street.

That wasn't me.

I was gone. Colorado.

Had it made out

all right there.

Got a lot of good jobs.

You ever been there?

God, it's so fucking beautiful.

Mountains...

Yeah, I'd blow off my jobs

so I could go on up

to the mountains.

As long as it wasn't raining.

I hated the rain.

Rain scared the shit out of me.

It'd remind me, you know?

Long as it wasn't raining...

Rain would remind you?

Yeah.

Yeah, rain or, you know,

rice and the smell of diesel,

a bowl of spaghetti,

or anything, you know,

or nothing at all.

You'd just be walking

along the street, and all

of a sudden, bam!

You'd just flash back.

I mean, you might be able

to shake it off, or somebody

might be able to bring you back,

but, you know...

After the first one of those,

you're always looking over

your shoulder, wondering when

the next fucker's gonna strike!

A'ight... every day,

I wake up, and I don't know

who I'm gonna be:

Normal, or whacko, or...

Yeah, Colorado. Um...

I, uh, I kept my head

above water out there.

You know, I made some friends.

Went out with this couple

that had some kids.

Well, you got kids.

You know they're...

They're terrific.

Why'd you leave there?

Why'd you come back here?

Well, mom was dying.

I liked your mother.

Yeah, so did I.

But she was gone.

Then I just, oh,

I really started

to fishtail then.

It was like fuckin'

flashback city.

I mean, you couldn't have

picked me out of a crowd

of two back then,

I was so fucked up, you know?

Motherfuckin' cousin

picked me out, though.

He's family, right? He's family.

He sees me at the funeral,

and he turns me in to the cops.

Yeah.

And that's how this whole thing

got jumpstarted

in the first place.

I'm at this little

construction site, and franny

comes down there and tells me

the cops are coming after me.

She gives me some money

to take off, but I go

straight to a gun shop.

Why?

Yeah.

But I couldn't do it sober.

I had to go get

good and fucked up.

Hey.

See something wrong

with this picture, man?

Hmm?

Yeah. You're drunk.

Just give me another beer,

please.

You've had enough,

my friend.

Just give me 15 more

of these, and I'll...

I'll show you what enough is.

Maybe we'll do that

another day, pal.

What, you...

You don't...

You don't serve people

who served their country?

Is that what I'm hearing here?

Huh?!

I'll tell you

what you're hearing,

soldier boy.

We don't serve drunks.

Now, you're cut off.

Why don't you get

the fuck out of here?

Fuck you!

Yeah, and fuck you too, pal!

The door is that way!

That's him.

That's him right there.

Hey. Hey, you.

Can I have a word with you?

Did you do the damage in there?

Hey, come on, now, hey!

Hey, don't put your fucking

hands on me, man!

Leave me the fuck alone, okay?

No need to get rough.

Hey, I used to wear

a uniform, and I didn't go

around grabbing everybody.

Give me your hand.

Yeah, I know

the routine, man.

Seems like you do.

Great.

He's clean.

He's clean.

Come on in.

Watch your head.

Seemed to settle down a bit.

Yeah, I think he's all right.

He's gonna be okay.

Listen, you want to go in

and get with Mike

and get a statement

as to what happened?

See what kind of damage

he's done in there?

Yeah. Thanks.

Vietnam-era radio chatter:

We need backup!

We need backup immediately!

call your watch commander.

Hey, hey! Hey!

No, man, don't!

Don't, man, don't!

Aaahhh!

Where's that fuckin' cover?!

Officer down!

We're in foot pursuit!

That's when I knew

the end had finally come.

They shot up every inch of me,

but I survived.

They kicked the shit

out of me in the ambulance.

The guard in the hospital

pushed me around,

rolled me out of bed.

I lost a kidney,

half my liver,

and my left foot almost.

Oh, god.

I don't know why

I didn't die.

God!

Just hadn't gotten

in the way, you know...?

Who hadn't gotten

in the way?

Cop.

The one you shot?

I didn't shoot him.

No, you can look this up.

The bullet that killed

that son of a bitch,

it went straight out.

It split on a spring

in the front seat.

Half went into his hip

and opened up an artery.

He died from loss of blood.

They may even have fucked up

in the ambulance,

for all we know.

That can't be

first-degree murder, can it?

South Carolina,

it sure as shit was.

Russell!

This is what you got

the death penalty for?

Yep.

That, and me tellin' 'em

to do it.

Oh, god.

Yeah.

I got the conviction,

and I stood up

in the sentencing,

and I told 'em

to fuckin' kill me.

But you were trying

to kill yourself, Russell.

You weren't trying to kill

anybody else.

I gave up a long time ago

trying to get anybody

to listen about that.

Now, this is the truth.

It's the whole truth,

and nothing but.

You want to check it out?

Franny's got

all the court records.

You want to treat me

like a rabid dog and shoot me,

then so be it.

You've got to go.

I don't want to leave you

like this.

I am a wreck

out on the highway,

and they are gonna burn me.

You... live with it, Pam.

How can I live with that?

Well...

You lived with a fantasy

for 20 years, you can

live with this.

No.

You've been more real to me than

anything in my life, Russell.

Oh, come on.

More real than your kids?

Hm? You go home and look

at those kids and tell me that.

You don't know what

you mean to me.

Yes, I do.

I do.

You see, I want that

to be over. It...

You know, I didn't realize it

then, but I left you,

I went away, I didn't write,

I didn't call or nothing

because I didn't want to take

you down with me, and I do not

want to take you down now.

You know, they're gonna do

US both a favor

when they fry me.

Pam, I am gonna die.

I'm sorry you had

to see me like this,

but you're just gonna have

to do what you gotta do

to forget it.

No.

You can't do that.

I'll remember

what I want to remember.

Russell.

You all right?

No.

And I'm not gonna

pretend to be.

Can we talk about it now?

Yeah, go ahead.

He didn't do

what they say he did, Keith.

It was an accident.

They're gonna kill him

for something he didn't do.

Nobody can do

anything about it.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

It didn't happen

the way they said, Keith.

I can show you court records.

I don't want to see

any court records.

Why wouldn't you want

to help a fellow vet?

He's not a fellow vet.

He is a fellow vet.

He's not a fellow vet, okay?

He's not a fellow anything.

He's a goddamn murderer!

I'm your husband.

Why can't you see things

the way I see them?

I see.

I see.

I see a guy who kills a cop,

wants to blame the war,

and you're looking at

some hot-rodder

you been carrying a torch for

for 20 years.

I'm not carrying a torch

for him, Keith!

He didn't do

what they said he did.

And all I want to do is...

Shout it from every rooftop.

Shhh.

Even if I did,

it wouldn't make a damn

bit of difference.

Does that sound like love

to you?

Head over heels.

Open 18!

"Dear Pam,

I don't know if this will be

the last letter or not.

I'm too pissed off to sit

down and write much.

Two nights ago,

I tried to check out by myself.

I had a piece of glass

I'd been saving

for the special occasion.

Got both my wrists slit

and was out when I guess some

fucking asshole boy scout guard

decided to make an unusual

bed check and...

I woke up

in the prison hospital.

Now I'm back here

with a fucking 24-hour

suicide watch

'cause they want to make sure

I don't kill myself

before they get

their whacks in.

Bloodthirsty motherfuckers."

Hello, this is Dan lebow.

Is Pam there?

No, who's...

Who is this?

Dan lebow.

I'm a friend of Russell cates.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Well, I'm returning

her call.

Tell her Russell's sister

said she can get Pam

in to see Russell.

All she has to do

is pretend to be a relative.

Okay?

I-I'll tell her.

Are you going

back down there?

If I can get in.

I'm not just gonna

wait around outside.

Were you just gonna leave

and not tell me?

No.

I just didn't want to mention it

until I was sure it would work.

Oh, it's gonna work out.

You just got a call

from that Dan guy.

He says they can get you in.

He tried to kill himself,

Keith.

What, he tried

to beat 'em to it, did he?

I don't care.

I don't care.

What do you think

he means to me?

He's a dying man, Keith.

He's a dead man.

In one week, he'll be dead.

Then go. Go down there.

Be with him for a week.

Hold his hand. Go.

I'm not leaving you, Keith.

I'm just going to help somebody

who really needs me.

Go.

Come with me.

I need you to come with me.

I can't talk to you

with your face in the pillow.

I don't want to talk to you.

Oh, Becca.

Honey, we're only

gonna be there

for a couple of days.

Yeah? You'll be divorced.

That's what Miranda's parents

did. They went away.

When they came back,

they were divorced.

Becca, honey,

that's not the same.

I hate that guy.

Becca.

Honey, please don't hate him.

Some day, some...

Boy will come along, and...

He won't pull your hair,

and he won't chase you.

He'll just be nice to you.

And if that comes at a time...

In your life when you need

somebody to be nice to you...

Well, you'll never forget it.

Be back in a while.

This is a contact visit.

You can hold hands.

No kissing, no fawning,

none of that.

I'm his... cousin!

Yeah, well, just in case

you were a kissin' cousin.

Curtis.

Hey, stewball.

I don't like it back here.

Yeah, well, neither do I,

but, you know, I'm not going

to be staying here too long.

Oh, uh...

Just so you know,

the, uh...

Federal district court

turned me down this morning.

That was my last, best hope,

just so you know.

Fran says there's

still the supreme court.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Forgot about those guys. Damn.

All those wonderful little

judicial minds that Nixon

and Reagan appointed.

Yeah. Hm.

You know, Pam,

it's not about the law anymore.

It's just about the country

getting its rocks off

on a couple of inmates a month.

I don't want to talk about

the death penalty now.

Well, it's kind of

hard to ignore, isn't it?

Hmm?

Keith came down here with me.

Your husband?

Hm. What for?

Coming down here's...

Caused some problems.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Where is he?

With Fran.

Uh-oh.

Now what's he want to do?

Come in here and Duke it out

with me or something?

Ha ha ha!

Hey, why don't you

shut the fuck up, Daniels?

It's enough we've got to put up

with your silly ass

sitting there. Would you

just please hold the comments?

He doesn't want to see you.

Well, he came down here

to help you, right?

Come closer.

Don't worry about him.

This bother you?

But I understand.

Come here.

Stick your face in here.

Hey, Daniels, don't worry.

Nothing's gonna happen.

You know, what I'm gonna hate

most about dying in here

is this is the last thing

I'm ever gonna see.

I can sort of remember

what Colorado looked like.

I'd give anything to die there.

You're gonna have to be

my Colorado.

What's the matter with Fran?

She can't stop crying.

He wants to see you.

No.

No. I don't want to see him.

Well, it's cleared.

You've got half an hour.

If you want to know what's

going on with me, go see him.

Keith.

Russell.

Thanks for coming, man.

Pam says you want to talk.

Yeah.

I understand this has been...

Real difficult for you.

What do you mean?

Pam coming down here

and seeing me and all.

Well, I...

I gotta think it's harder

for you than it is for me.

Think so?

Yeah, i'd...

I'd say for sure.

What, 'cause they're gonna

kill me, or 'cause I'll

never see Pam again?

What's that mean?

Nothing much.

Just trying to figure out

where you're coming from.

'Cause if you think

Pam and me got something

going on down here that,

you know, you should be

jealous of, I guess not

seeing her would be the worst.

I'm not jealous.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Look, I...

I'm not rooting for you

to get killed.

Well, maybe, maybe not.

My guess is, you'd kind of

like to be in my shoes, right?

What'd you see,

in country?

Little bit.

You get outside of da nang?

Yeah.

We ran supplies

in the... in the delta.

We got around.

Is that it? Hm?

Is that all?

I kept it together.

Yeah. Yeah, it looks like it.

I came back.

I came back.

I... went to school.

I went to work.

I got married.

I'm trying to raise a family.

Yeah, and, uh...

I'm getting in the way, right?

Well, you want to know

the truth? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, how am I

getting in the way?

You said you're not jealous.

It's...

It's Pam.

No, it isn't.

It's you... isn't it?

What'd you see, man?

You might as well tell me,

'cause, you know,

i-i-it's just gonna go

to the grave with me, man.

Come on.

What is it?

Don't keep it in.

You gotta let it go, man.

You keep... it'll kill you

if you keep it inside.

I know.

Let it go, man.

Come on.

Come on, man, let it go.

Come on.

I... I don't know!

What don't you know?

I don't know his name.

I don't know who killed him.

Who? Who killed who?

I don't know his name.

He was from north dako...

North Dakota.

Hold on, man.

It was friendly fire, right?

I don't know!

Right? And you thought

it was Charlie?

I don't know.

That's it, right?

I think it is.

You don't know...

You don't know if you

greased your buddy,

is that it, man?

Jesus! Jesus!

What were they doing there?

What were they doing there, man?

What were they doing there?

What were they doing there?

The first one came in.

I-I couldn't hear.

It just blew my ears right up,

and I thought I saw...

On the perimeter...!

Yeah, and you

sprayed the bush, right?

Aah! I don't know!

I don't know.

You know what?

If I were you,

I'd go tell Pam

the whole story.

You're not... you're not me.

No, I know I'm not.

I'm a dead man.

You're alive.

Go ahead, spill your guts

to Pam. It's the only way.

Jesus. Jesus.

Hey.

Hold those kids real tight.

Keith?

What happened?

Just a couple of vets

sitting around talking.

Something happened.

Let's go.

Okay.

You gonna

get in trouble for this,

stewball?

W-what time is it?

I don't know.

Way past midnight.

Are you gonna be in trouble?

I don't know. I've...

Never done anything like this.

Me, either.

Might as well stay

the rest of the night.

If we get caught, this could be

the last time we see each other

for a while.

I'd hate that.

Me too.

You make me feel like a king.

I do?

"I do"!

Hey, we're not getting married!

Well, i'd...

Better not tell you that...

I love you, right?

Right.

Here you are, ma'am.

Thank you.

Now, how 'bout that?

Hey, thanks, man.

Guess some of these guys

actually do have

some humanity in 'em.

I've been trying to get

some privacy in here

for about ten years.

Wow.

How are you?

Oh, I'm all right.

I had kind of a rough night.

The... guys were whispering,

"three days to go,

three days to go."

Yeah, but I'm okay now.

Seeing you helps.

Uh, how is Keith?

I don't know. He's...

Angry, I guess.

He won't talk.

He will.

He just probably thinks

there's, you know,

something going on between US,

you know?

Probably.

I did love you.

Well, that wasn't love.

You know, it...

Have you known

anything better?

Why are you doing this?

Why...

I can't go there, Pam.

I'm sorry. I...

I don't want to!

God!

You loved me, Russell.

I know you did.

Well...

Maybe I did, and maybe...

Maybe I didn't.

Pam...

I don't remember.

I do.

I do, I do. Well, listen,

we're not getting married

here, okay?

Oh, god.

Russell, you're in there!

No, just don't.

Please, don't.

I can't do it.

Yes!

It's not right.

It's just not right.

Yes, it is. It's good.

It's good. You're good.

You're good, Russell.

You're good.

But I...

I wasn't always like this,

right? Is that what you're...

Saying?

I wasn't bad.

Yeah, that's why

you're here, right?

That's why you came down here.

♪ Stewball

♪ was a racehorse

♪ and I wish

♪ she were mine

♪ she never drank water

♪ she always drank...

♪ ...Wine

♪ ...Soda pop

what's the next line?

Um... oh.

♪ I bid on the gray mare

♪ I bid on the bay

♪ if I'd bid on...

♪ Stewball

♪ I'd be a free man...

♪ Today

well... this is

too much of a good thing.

Pam, you go. I...

I gotta catch my breath.

Please say it, Russell.

Nnn...

No, I...

Listen, thank you...

Say it.

Thank you for everything,

okay?

No.

Say it.

You don't... need that, Pam.

You don't need me to say

that I love you.

You're beyond that.

You're on the other side, now,

you know?

You're didn't have to

come down here.

You...

You're gonna be fine.

Okay? You really are.

Now, just give me a kiss

and push off, will you?

Daniels!

Hey, you know

wingate, the guard out front,

the one that's got a shine

for Angie here,

he was asking me

who I wanted him to call,

you know, and writing down

numbers, so I says, "Nixon."

And he says, "Nixon who?"

So I says, "milhous."

He said, "okay, Nixon milhous.

What's his number?"

Five minutes.

Well, here's some pie

going up for grabs.

Russell, I'm going

to leave you with the family.

Dan...

You are family, man.

You know that.

Why, you were there for me

when this country turned

its back on me, and I want

to thank you for that.

I love you, man.

I want you to do

one more thing for me,

if you would.

Uh...

I want to make a statement,

and I'm not going to be able

to say anything in there.

I want to say that...

You can kill a messenger,

but... you can't kill

the message of what that war

did to me and thousands

like me, okay?

You want me to write it down?

No, Russell,

I'll get it, I promise.

Hey, keep the faith, man.

Hello?

Pam.

Hi, Russell.

Hey.

Told you I'd call.

Didn't let you down

this time, right?

Right.

Is the family still there?

No. Uh...

Just you and me.

Uh...

Hey, I got something

I gotta tell Keith first.

You want me to get him?

No, I...

You can tell him for me.

Uh...

Just tell him to be strong,

but not too strong.

'Kay?

'Kay.

Are you...?

Oh, I'm all right,

considering.

Uh, you know,

I'm not calling

to say goodbye

'cause, uh,

I'm not leaving.

They're gonna kill the guy

that they got locked up here,

but...

They're not gonna kill the guy

that you got locked up

in your heart.

I'll take care of the one

locked up in my heart.

And, you know,

there's nothing "locked up"

about it 'cause,

when I'm with you,

I'm as free as a...

I'm sorry. Can't help myself.

Um...

Just give me the last

word here, will you?

I love you, stewball.

Keith?

What's the matter, honey?

It's okay. It's okay.

Shh.

Hey, you can't...

You can't kill the message.

You can't kill the message.

Thanks, Pam.

You saved my life.