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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,103
- I did some math.
It's gonna cost about 40,000
2
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,347
to get this place fixed up.
- Dollars?
3
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:05,339
- Leah known somebody
at the church.
4
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:06,707
- Oh hell no.
- Hello!
5
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,585
- You the one that was
messing around with my wife.
6
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,444
- That was over 50 years ago.
7
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,355
- 'Cause that's the night
I got even with you anyway.
8
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,381
- What?
- You kissed my girl,
9
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,683
and I slept with yours! - Ee.
10
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,495
- Remember that hippo you was
messing 'round with?
11
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,420
Six-foot six all the way around.
12
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,122
- Ain't nobody
like that but Mabel.
13
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,624
- That's her name.
14
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,668
- A few months later, Madea came
and told me she was pregnant.
15
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,628
- Oh hell, no.
- And you look just like
16
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,941
my daughter Cora. - No, I don't!
17
00:00:30,839 --> 00:00:32,408
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
18
00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:35,578
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. What?
19
00:00:37,513 --> 00:00:39,515
- You look just like her.
- Ooh!
20
00:00:39,548 --> 00:00:41,383
What are you saying?
21
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:45,354
- I'm saying you might
be the baby daddy.
22
00:00:45,387 --> 00:00:46,855
- What are you
talking about, man?
23
00:00:46,889 --> 00:00:48,490
- That's what I'm
trying to figure out.
24
00:00:48,524 --> 00:00:50,526
- Okay, let me explain to you.
25
00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:52,828
- Mabel told me that I was
Cora daddy,
26
00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:55,297
so I took care of Cora
like I was Cora daddy.
27
00:00:55,331 --> 00:00:58,334
So then, I had... started
giving her $14
28
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,370
of my Social Security
for child support.
29
00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,373
Then, Mabel say, "We gonna go
on 'The Maury Povich Show.'"
30
00:01:04,406 --> 00:01:07,576
So she came out on there,
"Uuuh, uuuh," like that.
31
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,612
And Maury, he came with
the envelope,
32
00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:12,348
he say,
"You are not the father."
33
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,186
Okay, tell me what
you and Mabel did.
34
00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:18,554
- Now you don't
know what sex is?
35
00:01:18,587 --> 00:01:20,389
I tapped that bitch fat ass.
36
00:01:22,925 --> 00:01:25,427
- I don't be doing no tapping.
37
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:28,464
- Hold on a minute, hold
on a minute, hold on.
38
00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:30,199
Sh... let me see
your tapping again.
39
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,411
- Why you keep doing
it with your finger?
40
00:01:33,435 --> 00:01:34,436
Trying to make fun of me?
41
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:38,674
- No, I... I just seen
your tap, so I did my tap.
42
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,609
- You gonna try to make fun
of a man with a hook
43
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:41,443
and just do... do like that?
44
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,312
That what the hell
you trying to do?
45
00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:45,948
- I... I didn't do
it with your girl.
46
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,284
- You're lying.
You slept with her.
47
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,218
- I ain't do no love.
48
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,320
I ain't sleep with nobody,
I'm a Christian.
49
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:56,558
- Christian hell, you
tapped that Christian ass.
50
00:01:58,761 --> 00:02:02,298
- First of all, Mabel
ain't no Christian.
51
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,566
- Right about that.
52
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,269
- And second of all,
it was one time.
53
00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:10,272
And I was drunk,
and she took advantage of me.
54
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:14,376
- And third of
all... one, two, three...
55
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,845
you tapped that ass.
56
00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:19,315
- Did you just count
the hook as three?
57
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,816
- One, two, three.
58
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,485
- Anyway, none of that matters.
59
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:28,290
I've been having nightmares ever
since Mabel did love to me.
60
00:02:28,324 --> 00:02:29,725
- Who is Mabel?
61
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,594
- Oh, Mabel is
a great, big old woman.
62
00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:34,263
They call her Madea.
63
00:02:34,296 --> 00:02:35,731
- Mr. Brown, that's not nice.
64
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,266
- Oh, don't be offensed.
65
00:02:37,299 --> 00:02:40,669
If you'd seen her,
you'd be like, "Golly!"
66
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:41,880
- Yeah, he ain't
lying about that.
67
00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:46,342
She about 634... 634.
68
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,876
- And her waist is about...
69
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,745
Probably 'bout
the size of this room.
70
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:50,779
- Huge woman.
71
00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:52,915
And thought she was sexy.
72
00:02:52,948 --> 00:02:54,583
Just all in your face with it.
73
00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:55,818
- You should see her thighs.
74
00:02:55,851 --> 00:02:58,287
They big like somebody done
attacked her with golf balls,
75
00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,622
hail damage everywhere.
76
00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:02,024
- Oh my God, they
just big and huge.
77
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,360
And they're hard as hell to keep
up in the air.
78
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,705
I mean, I had 'em on my back,
and I was trying to lift 'em up,
79
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,006
and they was bringing me down.
And...
80
00:03:08,030 --> 00:03:09,474
- Okay, alright!
Okay, that's... that's enough.
81
00:03:09,498 --> 00:03:11,367
That's enough!
82
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,735
- You get the picture.
Don't you?
83
00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:14,036
- Mm.
84
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,413
- I don't think
she get the picture.
85
00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:17,673
- Oh, yes... yes, I do.
86
00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:18,874
I don't wanna get it no more.
87
00:03:19,975 --> 00:03:21,019
- Well, I'm just trying to help,
88
00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:22,153
that's all. -
89
00:03:22,177 --> 00:03:23,989
- Well, I don't need no
picture, 'cause here she is.
90
00:03:24,013 --> 00:03:25,814
This all the proof
I need right here.
91
00:03:25,848 --> 00:03:28,284
Cora? - What?
92
00:03:28,317 --> 00:03:29,785
- This is your daddy.
- What?
93
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:30,953
- Say hi.
94
00:03:30,986 --> 00:03:31,986
- I'm not her daddy!
95
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,797
- What is going on?
- Hi. I'm... I'm Leah.
96
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,666
- Oh, oh, oh, yes.
- We spoke on the phone.
97
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,334
- Yes, I'm Cora.
Nice to meet you.
98
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,712
- This is my husband.
- Oh, hello, nice...
99
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,346
- Jeremy, yeah.
- Nice to meet ya, Jeremy.
100
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,872
- And this is my
grandfather, Vinny.
101
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,676
- Uh, no can speak
English at all. No can.
102
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,744
- He lying.
103
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,646
Cora, I need to talk to you.
104
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,348
- Mr. Brown, okay...
- Now!
105
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,483
- Okay, don't be so rude.
106
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,917
- Ain't nobody being rude.
107
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,486
- Why are you in
such a bad mood?
108
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,488
- I'm not in a bad mood.
I was in a good mood
109
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,290
until I came over here, and I
seen this... thing!
110
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,593
- Who are you calling
a thing, thing?
111
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,928
- You, thing.
112
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,697
- You the one that thing.
113
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,066
- Wait a minute now, will
somebody tell me something?
114
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,901
- Okay, he said...
- Okay, we was...
115
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,376
- Hey, hey, okay, okay!
116
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,944
One at a time.
117
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,913
Are there any adults
in the room?
118
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,415
- Yes!
- Yes!
119
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,716
- I'm a full-grown man.
120
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,819
- I'm a fuller
growner man than you.
121
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,454
- What really... what's
going on here?
122
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,623
- We don't... we don't know.
123
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,892
- Look, all we know
is my grandfather said
124
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,827
your daddy kissed
my grandmother,
125
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,862
then he slept
with some big, tall woman...
126
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,565
- Said she had like golf
balls just in her legs.
127
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,367
A hippo or something.
128
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,903
- ...big ol' thighs, and
he couldn't get her hooks up.
129
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,872
- Wait, okay, hold on, wait,
wait, excuse me, I'm sorry.
130
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,442
Are you... I know y'all not
talking about my mama.
131
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,810
- Oh, we're sorry.
132
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,545
We just repeating
what they said.
133
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,722
- Mr. Brown, what's going on?
134
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,047
- Cora, I hate to tell you this.
135
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,416
- What?
- But your mama is a charlatan.
136
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,953
- Do you even know
what that mean?
137
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,656
- Of course. If I say stuff
I know what stuff mean.
138
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:23,590
- Well, what is it?
139
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,460
- She a thot.
- What?
140
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,729
- A thing humans
ought not touch.
141
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,031
Cora, look it up.
142
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,999
That's the Bible.
143
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,568
- That is not what that mean.
144
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:35,869
- What does thot mean then?
145
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,647
- They gonna tell you.
Tell 'em what that mean.
146
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,740
- Um...
147
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,883
- That's because you don't know.
148
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,743
- I...
149
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,877
I do know what it mean.
150
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,011
Tell him what it mean.
151
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,914
- It mean that ho over there.
152
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,125
Don't look around.
Ain't nobody coming.
153
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,418
Ho right there.
154
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,820
You ain't gonna find
him. They right there.
155
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,921
- Now wait a minute now.
156
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,733
Hold on, y'all not gonna be
talking about my mama
157
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,634
like that, and she's not here
to defend herself.
158
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,594
- Cora, your mama could probably
defend herself
159
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,663
right where she's sitting
in her living room.
160
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,500
She could defend herself
from North Korea.
161
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,667
- What do you mean?
162
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,803
- Blou.
163
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,905
She can fart and
blow up there, Cora.
164
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:15,642
Her fart like nuclear missiles.
165
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,478
She let out some of them nuclear
gas farts and kill us all.
166
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,180
- Okay, that's enough now.
167
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,991
- Your mama used to go
in the bathroom in my house
168
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,517
and my house was next door.
169
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,886
I could smell her from
her bathroom into my house.
170
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,421
I was wondering why all these
birds
171
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:28,731
kept flying out the window.
- Now...
172
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,959
- One time we had a whole bunch
of dead locusts on our grass.
173
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,528
She had done killed
everything in...
174
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,029
- Would you stop that, please?
175
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,033
- Cora, say hi to your daddy.
176
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068
- I'm not her daddy.
177
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,636
- That man is not my daddy.
178
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,738
- Nah, nah, he said he
wanted to get revenge,
179
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,873
so he kissed your mama.
180
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,974
- He... he kissed my mama?
181
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,543
- I know, Cora.
182
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:53,680
It make me... it make me wanna
throw up every time I...
183
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,016
think... did I
have corn or something?
184
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,784
- Oh my.
185
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,821
- Mr. Brown. You kissed
her too, didn't you?
186
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,889
- Cora, you know
the story about that.
187
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,959
She hit me in the head, drug
me in the car by one leg
188
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,795
and just... she did love to me.
189
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,898
She say, "Say my
name, say my name."
190
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,767
"Mabel!"
191
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:21,108
All I seen was these two giant
things coming down on my face.
192
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,477
And all of the sudden
I said, "Got milk?"
193
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,724
- You're not gonna be talking
about my mama
194
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,516
like that, Mr. Brown.
That's enough.
195
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,317
- Now tell her.
196
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,785
- No, I ain't got
nothing to say.
197
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,053
- Oh...
198
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,788
You will when Dana get here.
199
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,300
- Who in the hell is Dana?
200
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,760
- D-N-A, and you taking
a pregnancy test.
201
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,865
- You cannot be that stupid.
202
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,633
- Are you gonna take a test?
203
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:50,804
- And you gonna take this foot
all up in you're a...
204
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,005
Behind.
205
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,510
I'm not taking no test.
206
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,078
- You... yes, you
taking one today.
207
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,646
- No, I'm not taking no test.
208
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,014
- He is not my daddy.
209
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,258
- But, Cora, I'm
trying to tell you...
210
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,717
- Why are you doing this?
211
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,261
- 'Cause if this
man could be your daddy,
212
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,620
wouldn't you wanna know?
213
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,089
- Mr. Brown, you have
been a father to me.
214
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,957
And that's all I need.
215
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,996
Mm, Cora...
216
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,864
that's so sweet, but...
217
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,900
- Well, thank you, Mr. Brown.
218
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,935
Now can we talk about
why we're really here?
219
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,603
- No, I'm gonna
go call your mama.
220
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,638
- Why?
221
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,748
- 'Cause I wanna know the truth.
222
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,575
- There's no way that random
man could be my daddy.
223
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:29,910
- Cora, look at him.
224
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,579
- Well, wait... you
'bout to pop my neck.
225
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,014
What you... - Look, Cora!
226
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,686
- I don't look like him.
- Okay. Squint your eyes.
227
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,054
Squint your eyes.
228
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:48,695
If you was this color,
Cora, y'all'd be twins.
229
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,297
- Would... would you stop it?
230
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,733
You 'bout to smother-cate me.
I can't breathe like that.
231
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,534
- It's smother-rate.
232
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,771
You know I'm telling the truth.
233
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:58,881
- You are not telling the truth.
234
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,607
I do not look like that man.
235
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,708
Now, calm down.
236
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,079
- I'm sorry, Leah.
237
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,048
So, you guys want us to
invest in this place?
238
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,258
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, we do.
239
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:12,261
- Okay. So, do y'all mind if we
just take a look around?
240
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,263
- Nah, nah, go ahead, take it.
- Okay.
241
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,531
- Would you like us to show you?
242
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,159
- No, just let us go alone, and
then I can get him to calm down.
243
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,628
- Calm down? You ain't gotta
instruct me to do nothing.
244
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,066
I ain't got to do nothing
but stay black and die.
245
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,070
- Well, you already black.
When your ass gonna die?
246
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,772
- Would you stop
all this cussing?
247
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,674
- And that... that's
your real daddy.
248
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,043
- That is not my damn daughter!
249
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,946
- I'm not gonna tell you
to stop cussing again, man.
250
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,649
- What you gonna do?
251
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,719
You gonna pray for me?
252
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,621
- Yes, I have been
known to do that.
253
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,855
Lay hands.
254
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,625
- That's cold. That is cold.
255
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,026
That is really cold.
256
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,063
- Cora, he talking about... you
have to lay hand on him.
257
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,244
- Just come on. Let's just go.
- Where we going?
258
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,903
- Okay, the kitchen is that way.
- Okay.
259
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,647
- We have some rooms on
this side of the house.
260
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:05,848
- Alright, alright. Come
on, come on, let's go.
261
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,107
- You go!
262
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,818
You look like him from
the back, too, Cora.
263
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,178
You all walking like him.
264
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,913
- I hope he didn't
ruin it for us.
265
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,282
- The hell you
blame that on me for?
266
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,983
- You don't see
what you just did?
267
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,719
- He came here messing with me.
268
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,155
- What?
269
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,958
- I mean, I don't
want no more children.
270
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,194
- Pop, that woman
ain't no child.
271
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,130
- I'm just saying, son,
if she is my child,
272
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:34,935
she lay claim to all of this.
273
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,837
All this could be hers.
274
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,405
She'd take it from me.
275
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,973
We won't have it.
276
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,284
- Alright, calm down.
277
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,344
- Boy, how in the hell am
I supposed to calm down?
278
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,079
I had one child.
279
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,714
And that was
your ugly-ass daddy.
280
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,225
- Grandpa!
281
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,885
- You know, and I swore for
God I'd never have another one.
282
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,255
I did. Man, I had it wrapped up
so many times...
283
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:59,025
I couldn't even feel nothing.
284
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,328
I put duct tape around it.
285
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,463
- Uh.
- Super glue,
286
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,899
and I'd go in.
287
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,744
- That doesn't sound like
that feel good at all.
288
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,078
- At all.
- It didn't feel good at all.
289
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,470
But I was safe.
290
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,074
- Never had a disease...
291
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,910
or a baby either.
292
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,845
- Okay, alright, we get it.
293
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:24,718
- I was so relieved when your
daddy got struck by lightning.
294
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:25,986
Ooh, I was so relieved.
295
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,354
He was fishing.
296
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,790
He caught a big-ass fish, right?
297
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,859
And when he died, we
went in and got that fish.
298
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,796
The lightning cooked it right
there,
299
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,365
and we put hot sauce on the fish
and ate it.
300
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,768
Left your damn daddy sitting
there.
301
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,379
- You told me my daddy
died in the line of duty.
302
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,505
Stop. - No, no, no, son.
303
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:51,111
Your daddy
died getting some booty.
304
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,222
- I... I can't believe you
saying this to me right now.
305
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,848
I'm... I'm not going for that.
306
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,349
- You need to believe it.
307
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,486
- Alright, well, listen, this
what you need to believe.
308
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,122
There's no way in the world that
woman in there is your daughter.
309
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,991
- Well, I had to confess,
310
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,261
I... I did sleep with the tree.
311
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,363
- Ooh.
312
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,865
- What tree?
313
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,900
- The weeping willow.
314
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,036
Big, more like a big oak.
315
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,006
I had to get a ladder
to get on top.
316
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,443
But it was pretty good, though.
317
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:24,778
- Okay.
318
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,380
- It was also very confusing.
319
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,258
- How so, Grandpa, tell me?
320
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:33,420
- There, it all started
with her braids.
321
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,322
They wasn't on her head.
322
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,357
- Euuh!
- Oh my, uh...
323
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,269
- And she had beads on 'em, too.
324
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,362
- Oh, alright,
okay. That's enough.
325
00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,366
- Grandpa Vinny, how
'bout we run a timeline?
326
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,368
We can dispel all of this.
327
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:52,215
- Well, you know what? I
think my memory's fading.
328
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,475
- I need you to remember just
what you need to, okay?
329
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:58,812
- I... sometimes, I can remember
things, and then sometimes
330
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:02,082
I forget things I don't wanna
remember in the first place.
331
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,529
- Nah, nah, you know what, baby?
That's a good idea.
332
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,455
- Okay.
333
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,925
What was the date?
334
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,894
- Well, let's see, uh...
335
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,564
I don't remember.
336
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,300
- Um...
337
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,268
you remember.
338
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,838
You said it was, uh, uh, 1966.
339
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,006
- That's what he said.
340
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:30,253
1966, that's right. I mean, she
looks to be about that age.
341
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,045
- Yep. And you know what else?
342
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,914
- Hm?
- She look like my aunt Hazel.
343
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,115
- Does she?
344
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,050
- Yep, let me find a
picture. Let me see.
345
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,462
- Boy, don't you do that, don't
you show her that damn picture.
346
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,121
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
347
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,856
- Look.
348
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:47,094
- She does.
349
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,463
- I know. I really miss
my aunt Hazel, man.
350
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,497
She was so cool.
351
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,265
Real sweet. Real sweet.
352
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,167
And she was the
peacemaker in the family.
353
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,445
And you know we
needed it with this...
354
00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:57,637
- Whatever.
355
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,315
- But you know what I
miss the most about her?
356
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,540
She could blow.
357
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,642
She had a beautiful,
beautiful voice.
358
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,177
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
359
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,156
- Wow.
360
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024
- Ah, she sound just
like my aunt Hazel.
361
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,526
No, hell no.
362
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,496
She sound flat to me.
363
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,965
She could never sing
with Kirk Franklin.
364
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,600
God littlest's Christian.
365
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,934
- Ooh. Mm.
366
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,170
- You can wear him
around your neck.
367
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,338
"Glory, glory."
368
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,373
- For real?
- Ignore him.
369
00:14:41,063 --> 00:14:42,431
- Cora, oven don't work.
370
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,902
'Frigerator nasty, got stuff
growing in it.
371
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,679
- Oh, we could just clean that
up, ain't nothing wrong it.
372
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:48,743
We just clean this all up.
373
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:50,773
I got a good... I could see
it, I could see it now.
374
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,074
- You clean it up.
375
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,509
- This place is nice.
376
00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:55,511
You got to just look
beyond what you see...
377
00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,980
- Cora, I don't like it.
378
00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,515
- Why not?
379
00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:02,919
- 'Cause your... your daddy.
380
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:05,354
- That man is not my daddy.
381
00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:07,065
- Children don't really
know who they daddy is.
382
00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:09,034
- Yes, I do know who my...
- The only way they know
383
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,860
if they mama tell
'em who the daddy is.
384
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,795
But they don't know for sure.
385
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,506
Especially if they mama
was like your mama.
386
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,499
- Would you stop
talking about my mama?
387
00:15:16,532 --> 00:15:18,468
- You know how many men
she had at her house?
388
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,502
- Look, now!
389
00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:20,670
- She was like a doorbell.
390
00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:21,971
- Would you stop that?
391
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,673
- You press it, something open.
392
00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:25,708
Wooh.
393
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:28,778
Cora, your mama was
like a doorknob.
394
00:15:28,811 --> 00:15:29,579
- Enough is enough.
395
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:32,482
- Everybody got a turn.
- You...
396
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,084
- Cora, your mama was
like peanut butter.
397
00:15:35,117 --> 00:15:36,052
- Would you stop?
398
00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:38,087
- An easy spread.
399
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,457
Cora, your mama was like Hawaii.
400
00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,535
- I'm gonna spray you in
your mouth if you don't stop.
401
00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:44,961
- Everybody got a lei.
402
00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,006
- It wouldn't even work.
Stop talking about mama.
403
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,565
She's not here to defend
herself.
404
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:51,067
- Just it, Cora.
405
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,836
- And Madea would have told me
if that was my daddy or not.
406
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,905
- No, she wouldn't have ya.
- Yes, she would have.
407
00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:57,640
- You know I'm
telling the truth.
408
00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:59,113
- Listen, listen,
stop it, Mr. Brown.
409
00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,576
- Okay.
410
00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,111
- This place could be amazing.
411
00:16:02,145 --> 00:16:03,579
- Cora, no. No, it couldn't.
412
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:04,647
- Yes, it could.
413
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,549
This could be a
great investment.
414
00:16:06,582 --> 00:16:08,851
- And that's the same thing
your mama used to tell men.
415
00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:11,754
"This could be a
great investment."
416
00:16:11,787 --> 00:16:14,790
- I want you...
417
00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:15,858
You know what?
418
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,593
I'm laughing, but
that's not funny.
419
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,495
- You laughing
'cause it is funny.
420
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,074
- Okay, you gonna just
keep this up, Mr. Brown?
421
00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:23,909
- Okay, I'm sorry, Cora.
- Well, this place... look,
422
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,635
it could be a great investment
for you.
423
00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:27,069
- Cora, I don't
need no investment.
424
00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:28,747
- Yes, you do need an
investment, Mr. Brown.
425
00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:30,773
You getting old, your
income is not enough.
426
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:32,484
- Cora, you know this place
could probably be
427
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,743
a big ol' headache.
428
00:16:33,776 --> 00:16:35,554
- No, it would not be a
headache, Mr. Brown. I...
429
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,780
- And what was all that
I saw in the backyard?
430
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,758
- I don't know, just look like
a bunch of plants or something
431
00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:41,450
that just need to be cut down,
that's all.
432
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:43,562
- Well, I'm gonna have to
bring my lawnmower if we do it.
433
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,488
- Well, I think that's
a good idea, Mr. Brown.
434
00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,723
But I think you should
get in on this deal.
435
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,893
- That's the same
thing your mama said.
436
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,763
"Get in on this deal."
437
00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:55,965
- Mr. Brown, no,
seriously. Now stop playing.
438
00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:57,233
Concentrate.
439
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,801
- How much money
they talking, Cora?
440
00:16:58,835 --> 00:17:00,078
- I don't know. They didn't
tell... we didn't
441
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,547
talk about the money yet,
but how 'bout...
442
00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:05,007
- That's the same
thing your mama said.
443
00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:06,676
Cora, I don't know
if I can do it.
444
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:09,745
- I think you could...
Should consider it.
445
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,048
- You think she's
thinking about it?
446
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:13,683
- She look kinda happy.
447
00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:16,052
- Yeah, kinda like
your aunt, uh, uh...
448
00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:17,053
- Hazel.
- Yeah.
449
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,654
- I don't wanna hear that.
450
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,723
I don't wanna hear that at all.
451
00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,592
- This is a good business idea.
452
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,660
And I think you could make
some good money by it.
453
00:17:24,694 --> 00:17:27,096
- Well, fine. I just wanna see
if he your daddy.
454
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,932
- That would be
crazy, Mr. Brown.
455
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,234
- Well, I'm calling your mama.
456
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:34,003
- For what? For
her to cuss you out?
457
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:36,072
- You got a point.
458
00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:39,318
- But she might tell
me... in between her cussing.
459
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:41,053
- Mr. Brown, she's not
gonna tell you anything,
460
00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:42,678
so don't... don't call her.
461
00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:43,813
- Cora?
- Hmm?
462
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,481
- You look like Bill Clinton.
463
00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:49,194
- Come on, let's just
go talk about the money.
464
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,953
- Now we gotta get the
ex-president tested.
465
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,227
- Would you just come on, we
not worrying about all that.
466
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,794
- Alright, well,
we looked around.
467
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,595
- Okay. What you think?
468
00:17:59,629 --> 00:18:00,997
- Well, it needs a lot of work.
469
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:04,267
- You... you have to
see the beauty of it.
470
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,235
- Well, we do, and we like it.
471
00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:07,770
- We?
472
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,707
You speak for yourself.
Ain't nobody French in here.
473
00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:12,942
- Mister...
- Oui-oui.
474
00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:14,010
- Mr. Brown.
475
00:18:14,043 --> 00:18:15,711
- No, it's you-you.
476
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,215
- So, what is the offer?
477
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:22,652
- I mean, we thinking it's
gonna cost probably like $40,000
478
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,086
to get this place fixed up.
479
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,556
- Okay, okay.
480
00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:28,658
- And that's what we'll
need for 40% of the company.
481
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,159
- Okay.
- So it's a good investment.
482
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,294
- What?
483
00:18:31,394 --> 00:18:33,029
Cora, let's go. - Mr. Brown...
484
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:34,239
- But I did... did I
say something wrong?
485
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:38,310
- Yes, $40,000!
486
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,311
- Look, I'm sorry.
487
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,571
- Cora, he said, $40,000.
488
00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:42,805
- Yes, I heard him.
489
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:45,007
- This place ain't
worth $40,000.
490
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,645
This place ain't worth $4.
491
00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:50,646
- Mr. Brown, stop it.
492
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,784
- Well, Cora, where
am I gonna get $40,000?
493
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:57,253
- You gonna get it from in
your sock under your mattress.
494
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,891
- Cora, what you telling
these people my business for?
495
00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:04,627
- Well, I...
- They could be robbers.
496
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,995
Look at him right there.
497
00:19:06,028 --> 00:19:08,798
He look like he could steal.
498
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:10,075
I bet you he could
pick a lock, Cora.
499
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:13,102
He just put that thing... and he
hook around... come around and...
500
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,704
- Would you stop it?
Don't do that.
501
00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:24,104
- Well, listen, I think
it's a great idea.
502
00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:26,673
I just need some time to talk
to him about it, okay?
503
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,984
- Ain't nothing to
talk about, Cora.
504
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:29,643
- It is something to talk about.
505
00:19:29,676 --> 00:19:31,211
- You... yes, you can do that.
506
00:19:31,245 --> 00:19:33,247
- I just need a few... just
a few days, alright?
507
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,682
- Take all the time you need.
- Absolutely. There is no rush.
508
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,060
- Alright, okay.
- Thank you.
509
00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:38,719
- But can you let
us know by Friday?
510
00:19:40,621 --> 00:19:43,824
- Okay, I... I'll
get him to do it.
511
00:19:43,857 --> 00:19:45,168
- Oh, Cora, you ain't got
the... you don't think
512
00:19:45,192 --> 00:19:46,360
I could hear you? - Huh?
513
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,095
- You know I got
x-ray vision hearing?
514
00:19:48,128 --> 00:19:50,064
- What?
- I can hear everything.
515
00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:51,999
My hearing is 20/20.
516
00:19:52,032 --> 00:19:54,968
- Your eyes are 20/20,
Mr. Brown, not your ears.
517
00:19:55,002 --> 00:19:56,336
- Whatever.
- Mister...
518
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:57,337
- Don't nobody tell me.
519
00:19:57,371 --> 00:20:00,607
I ain't been told what
to do since I was two.
520
00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,218
Only person tell me what
to do is the Lord,
521
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,362
and He ain't saying nothing.
522
00:20:05,379 --> 00:20:07,281
Exactly. - Mr. Brown.
523
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:10,017
How 'bout I fix you my famous
cinnamon chocolate cake
524
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:12,953
with the nuts on it,
with the glaze?
525
00:20:12,986 --> 00:20:14,297
- With the little
cherry on the top?
526
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,923
- With a cherry on the top.
527
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:19,727
- I heard the Lord,
and the Lord said...
528
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,961
- What you hear Him say?
529
00:20:20,994 --> 00:20:22,262
- We'll do it.
530
00:20:24,398 --> 00:20:26,233
Under one condition.
531
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,267
- What's that?
532
00:20:27,301 --> 00:20:29,837
- You get a Dana test.
533
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:31,171
- I'm not taking no Dana test.
534
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,775
- And another thing.
535
00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:36,110
You stop all that cussing.
536
00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,981
- Ain't no damn way.
537
00:20:44,184 --> 00:20:46,153
- Don't worry about it, he'll
stop.
538
00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:47,187
- Okay.
539
00:20:48,322 --> 00:20:50,858
- We got a deal then.
540
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,354
541
00:20:56,404 --> 00:21:00,954
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