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00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,761
[ Ulysses Voiceover ]
I've always had a simultaneous
fear of,
2
00:00:10,892 --> 00:00:13,068
and attraction toward,
the unknown.
3
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:17,377
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:17,507 --> 00:00:21,598
it's easy to adopt
a "What difference does
it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:24,688
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:24,819 --> 00:00:29,693
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:29,824 --> 00:00:31,652
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,654
[ man groans ]
9
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,612
-No!
-It's not like I'm brave
10
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:40,443
or anything, it's more
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:41,966 --> 00:00:44,404
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:44,534 --> 00:00:47,885
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:54,327 --> 00:00:56,764
No!
14
00:00:56,894 --> 00:00:57,939
Help me!
15
00:00:59,114 --> 00:01:01,203
[ man groans ]
16
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,207
[ screams ]
17
00:01:05,338 --> 00:01:06,382
[ Ulysses grunting ]
18
00:01:06,513 --> 00:01:09,429
Harder!
Harder!
19
00:01:09,559 --> 00:01:10,386
-[ door thuds ]
-Dave?
20
00:01:10,517 --> 00:01:11,518
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:11,648 --> 00:01:12,475
My husband's home!
22
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,695
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,218
[ stammers ]
What should I do?
24
00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:20,222
DAVE'S HUSBAND:
Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:20,353 --> 00:01:23,225
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:24,748
-[ Ulysses yelps ]
-[ loud thud ]
27
00:01:36,804 --> 00:01:38,458
[ Ulysses Voiceover ] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:38,588 --> 00:01:40,460
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,940
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:45,726 --> 00:01:47,815
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
31
00:01:47,945 --> 00:01:49,991
[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]
32
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:55,214
I do shit sometimes and
I really don't know why.
33
00:01:58,173 --> 00:01:59,653
To avoid boredom, I guess.
34
00:02:01,524 --> 00:02:02,482
To feel alive.
35
00:02:04,571 --> 00:02:06,790
Just for the fucking
fuck of it.
36
00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:25,679
♪ Give it away now, girl
37
00:02:25,809 --> 00:02:30,466
♪ Can't hold down tonight
38
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,312
[ panting ]
39
00:02:50,443 --> 00:02:51,400
Ah.
40
00:02:54,403 --> 00:02:55,361
Sorry, dude.
41
00:02:56,492 --> 00:02:57,624
Whatever.
42
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,323
Hey, Severine.
43
00:03:01,454 --> 00:03:03,586
I thought you were
sleeping out tonight.
44
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,284
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
45
00:03:08,374 --> 00:03:11,028
Anyhoo, please, continue.
46
00:03:12,378 --> 00:03:13,509
Goodnight, Ulysses.
47
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,294
Goodnight.
48
00:03:15,424 --> 00:03:18,427
Night, dude.
49
00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:22,214
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have
a sort of strange relationship.
50
00:03:22,562 --> 00:03:26,218
We've been roommates
since college
51
00:03:26,348 --> 00:03:29,351
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
52
00:03:29,482 --> 00:03:32,093
I love him unconditionally
53
00:03:32,224 --> 00:03:35,792
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
54
00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,533
in his body, we'd
probably be married,
55
00:03:37,664 --> 00:03:41,581
but Ford's that truly
rare Kinsey zero
56
00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:44,453
in contrast to my
ever oscillating four,
57
00:03:44,584 --> 00:03:46,673
which means I'm not
so totally queer
58
00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:50,372
that I haven't rubbed out a
few fantasizing about Severine.
59
00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:53,636
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
60
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,987
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
61
00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,033
It's definitely not a vlog.
62
00:03:59,163 --> 00:04:02,471
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
63
00:04:02,602 --> 00:04:05,866
that's in my head to keep it
from like [ lips pop ]
exploding.
64
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:10,131
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
65
00:04:10,262 --> 00:04:12,873
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
66
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,223
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
67
00:04:15,354 --> 00:04:17,007
I could do with my life.
68
00:04:17,138 --> 00:04:19,227
And Ford is that
sad LA cliché,
69
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,534
an aspiring screenwriter.
70
00:04:21,664 --> 00:04:24,537
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
71
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:28,497
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
72
00:04:28,628 --> 00:04:30,847
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
73
00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:32,936
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
74
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:34,764
so lacking a better outlet,
75
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:39,508
here I am talking to
myself in the dark.
76
00:04:47,647 --> 00:04:52,129
But also, there's
something weird going on
77
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:56,308
that I feel I need to document.
78
00:05:00,224 --> 00:05:01,835
I've been having this nightmare,
79
00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:04,098
the same one over and over,
80
00:05:04,228 --> 00:05:06,056
two or three times a
week for the past month.
81
00:05:06,187 --> 00:05:07,841
MAN: No!
82
00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:09,321
[ Ulysses Voiceover ] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
83
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:13,194
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
84
00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:15,152
it's not just a dream,
85
00:05:15,283 --> 00:05:18,373
like it's trying to
tell me something.
86
00:05:18,504 --> 00:05:21,376
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
87
00:05:21,507 --> 00:05:23,335
Carly, I'm being serious.
88
00:05:23,465 --> 00:05:25,554
Don't you ever get
bizarre premonitions?
89
00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:29,384
-No.
-Well, I do and I'm
a double Scorpio.
90
00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:31,473
It's the most psychic
of all the signs.
91
00:05:31,604 --> 00:05:34,520
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
92
00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:37,697
It's like we're teetering on
the brink of total annihilation.
93
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:40,961
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
94
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,659
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
95
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:46,575
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
96
00:05:46,706 --> 00:05:49,361
-Gabriel.
-Mm.
97
00:05:49,491 --> 00:05:51,667
Yeah. We were supposed to hang
out last night, but--
98
00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:56,150
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
99
00:05:56,280 --> 00:06:00,502
Hey, look, this guy's
a gnarly 300-pound catfish.
100
00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:02,939
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
101
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,550
Look, check it out.
102
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,422
-Oh. He is pretty.
-Right?
103
00:06:07,553 --> 00:06:10,164
I know it sounds hokey, but I
just get this vibe that we're
destined to be.
104
00:06:10,294 --> 00:06:12,340
Okay, double Scorpio.
105
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:15,604
Honestly, just looking at
him makes me dizzy and hard.
106
00:06:15,735 --> 00:06:17,301
You know, when I
first met Jethro,
107
00:06:17,432 --> 00:06:19,869
seeing him sneeze
would make me cum,
108
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,742
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
109
00:06:22,872 --> 00:06:27,442
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers--
110
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:30,750
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
111
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:31,707
-What?
-[ Jethro moans ]
112
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:32,969
Teach me!
113
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,102
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
114
00:06:35,232 --> 00:06:36,451
Oh, come on, baby!
115
00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:38,235
Yeah, teach me how
to drive you wild!
116
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:39,846
Yes, baby!
117
00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:41,195
Make me a student!
118
00:06:41,325 --> 00:06:43,197
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
119
00:06:43,327 --> 00:06:44,285
-[ groans ]
-Yeah!
120
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:46,156
Ah, teach me, baby!
121
00:06:46,287 --> 00:06:47,114
-Come on, yeah!
-Can you just slow down
122
00:06:47,244 --> 00:06:48,594
a little bit, please?!
123
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:50,117
Teach me, baby!
Teach me!
124
00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:52,249
-Oh, shit.
-And it gets worse.
125
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,470
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
126
00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:57,167
But meditating
gives you anxiety.
127
00:06:57,298 --> 00:06:59,343
Yeah, I know.
128
00:06:59,474 --> 00:07:01,433
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
129
00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:04,827
is just a blank
void of nothingness.
130
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,177
-[ phone buzzes ]
-[ Carly sighs ]
131
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:08,962
Is it the catfish?
132
00:07:09,092 --> 00:07:10,790
Oh, shit, really?
What'd he say?
133
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,661
That he wants to meet tonight.
134
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:16,273
Okay, well, my advice,
set the bar low.
135
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:18,754
Very low.
136
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:25,282
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
137
00:07:25,413 --> 00:07:30,200
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I
won't, and I won't be ashamed ♪
138
00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:32,899
♪ Sanctify my sins
when I pray ♪
139
00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:36,555
♪ Oh, oh, oh
140
00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:41,211
-♪ When I pray
-♪ Oh, oh, oh
141
00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:44,563
♪ You'll find redemption
142
00:07:44,693 --> 00:07:45,694
Hey.
143
00:07:47,174 --> 00:07:49,263
How's the script coming?
144
00:07:49,393 --> 00:07:51,091
I've seen you here before.
145
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,135
Oh.
146
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:54,877
It's going great.
147
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,009
You a writer too?
148
00:07:56,139 --> 00:07:57,227
No.
149
00:07:57,532 --> 00:07:58,968
Actually, I'm a producer.
150
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:02,494
Oh, no shit.
Cool.
151
00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:04,670
You should send me
one of your scripts.
152
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,196
-For real?
-Yes.
153
00:08:09,326 --> 00:08:12,242
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
154
00:08:13,983 --> 00:08:15,811
Email me.
155
00:08:15,942 --> 00:08:17,596
Oh, wow.
156
00:08:17,726 --> 00:08:20,120
Okay, Mr. Powers.
157
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,123
Please. Barnabas.
158
00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,737
Ford.
Ford Halstead.
159
00:08:28,868 --> 00:08:31,697
Great to meet you, Ford.
160
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,177
Well, I'll let you
get back to work.
161
00:08:34,308 --> 00:08:36,136
Cool!
I'll email you.
162
00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:38,617
Looking forward to it.
163
00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:49,366
[ phone chiming ]
164
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:58,288
MAN: They keep fucking me.
165
00:08:59,899 --> 00:09:01,030
I tell them no,
166
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,120
but they keep fucking me.
167
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:05,644
They keep fucking me!
168
00:09:05,774 --> 00:09:07,341
Fucking me!
169
00:09:07,471 --> 00:09:09,038
And they won't stop.
170
00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:16,959
Please, make them stop.
171
00:09:18,439 --> 00:09:19,571
Make them stop.
172
00:09:41,288 --> 00:09:43,159
Severine Bordeaux.
173
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:44,639
[ scanner beeps ]
174
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,356
Hello, Severine.
175
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:09,621
Lars.
Klaus.
176
00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:13,320
Looks like I didn't
miss anything.
177
00:10:13,450 --> 00:10:15,801
Yes, the man is
running late as usual.
178
00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:19,021
I think they keep us
waiting on purpose,
to build anticipation.
179
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:22,111
And to make our work seem
even more highly
classified than it is.
180
00:10:22,242 --> 00:10:24,331
Actually, I heard
this new assignment
181
00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:26,463
is a genuine
priority level one.
182
00:10:27,508 --> 00:10:28,857
Really?
183
00:10:28,988 --> 00:10:30,032
Who told you this?
184
00:10:31,033 --> 00:10:32,078
[ Severine sighs ]
185
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:34,820
If I revealed my sources,
I'd have to kill you.
186
00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:38,998
[ groans ]
187
00:10:42,697 --> 00:10:43,611
I don't know, Uly.
188
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:46,788
Sometimes a dream
is just a dream.
189
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:51,575
Yeah, but then, but then
sometimes, sometimes it's more.
190
00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:56,145
Dude, do you remember that time
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
191
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,669
You went out, you
bought a bunch of soup
192
00:10:57,799 --> 00:10:59,758
and water and batteries?
193
00:10:59,888 --> 00:11:01,107
[ laughs ]
194
00:11:01,237 --> 00:11:02,282
This is different than that.
195
00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:05,198
Is it?
196
00:11:05,328 --> 00:11:08,027
Anyway, huh, isn't it
awesome what happened today?
197
00:11:08,157 --> 00:11:09,332
What?
198
00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:11,204
That producer gave
me his business card.
199
00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:13,336
Oh, right.
200
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:14,903
So is he-
is he for real?
201
00:11:15,034 --> 00:11:16,557
What do you mean?
202
00:11:16,688 --> 00:11:18,472
As in does he have credits?
203
00:11:18,602 --> 00:11:19,691
That, that aren't porn.
204
00:11:19,821 --> 00:11:22,345
Yeah. I already checked.
205
00:11:22,476 --> 00:11:24,957
Just be careful, okay?
'Cause he could be
a serial killer or--
206
00:11:25,087 --> 00:11:26,480
Okay, paranoid.
207
00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:30,614
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do
208
00:11:30,745 --> 00:11:34,053
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
209
00:11:34,183 --> 00:11:35,489
on, on the rent again,
this month.
210
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:38,448
Ah, no big.
I got it.
211
00:11:38,579 --> 00:11:40,712
I know, I just,
I don't wanna be a scab.
212
00:11:40,842 --> 00:11:42,757
Hey, I said don't
worry about it.
213
00:11:42,888 --> 00:11:45,020
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
214
00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:47,283
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
215
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:49,111
[ Ford chuckles ]
216
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,723
Seriously, bro, man,
I'm just so glad
217
00:11:51,853 --> 00:11:53,420
we're out here together.
218
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:56,292
You and me, man,
living the dream!
219
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,818
[ laughs ]
220
00:11:59,948 --> 00:12:00,862
[ sighs ]
221
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:04,170
You know what I mean?
222
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,912
[ ethereal music ]
223
00:12:16,182 --> 00:12:17,444
Know what?
224
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:20,055
Why don't we cut the bullshit
225
00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:22,231
and go over into those bushes
over there and fuck?
226
00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:26,148
[ snapping ]
227
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,193
You all right?
Yeah.
228
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,456
Yup.
229
00:12:29,586 --> 00:12:30,936
You stoned or something?
230
00:12:31,066 --> 00:12:33,547
[ chuckles ]
231
00:12:33,677 --> 00:12:35,331
-You ready to head back down?
-Yeah, yeah.
232
00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:36,680
-All right.
-Mm-hm.
233
00:12:36,811 --> 00:12:37,856
I'll race you to the bottom.
234
00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:40,902
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
235
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,992
[ "Gosh" by Jamie xx ]
236
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,607
You home already?
I thought you had a coffee date.
237
00:12:52,392 --> 00:12:53,785
[ Amber sighs ]
238
00:12:53,915 --> 00:12:58,137
I did. I barely sat down and the
guy asked me if I would rim him.
239
00:13:00,226 --> 00:13:03,098
-Oh.
-Hmm.
240
00:13:03,229 --> 00:13:05,231
What are you doing?
241
00:13:05,361 --> 00:13:09,583
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
242
00:13:09,713 --> 00:13:12,716
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
243
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:14,675
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
244
00:13:14,806 --> 00:13:17,199
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
245
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:20,507
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
246
00:13:20,637 --> 00:13:22,639
Maybe he was foreign?
247
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:25,904
I've just encountered
a lot of assholes on there.
248
00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,688
It's a numbers game.
249
00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,516
I mean, you have a
lot of asshole dick,
250
00:13:29,646 --> 00:13:32,432
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
251
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:36,653
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
252
00:13:36,784 --> 00:13:38,830
Exactly.
253
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,919
I don't know,
I might delete it.
254
00:13:41,049 --> 00:13:44,661
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
255
00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:46,707
That is something
that old people say
256
00:13:46,838 --> 00:13:49,231
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
257
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,017
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
258
00:13:52,147 --> 00:13:53,714
Let me see your profile.
259
00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:55,411
Come here.
260
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,204
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
261
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:08,903
called Extreme Brunch,
or something.
262
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,388
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
263
00:14:15,518 --> 00:14:18,870
Like, like showing
less personality?
264
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:25,354
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
265
00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:27,574
Yeah, incredible.
266
00:14:27,704 --> 00:14:29,358
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
267
00:14:29,489 --> 00:14:32,361
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
268
00:14:32,492 --> 00:14:34,146
[ sighs ]
So, Sev.
269
00:14:34,276 --> 00:14:36,191
Mm-hmm?
270
00:14:36,322 --> 00:14:38,019
We've been seeing each
other a while now
271
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:42,241
and I was wondering if...
272
00:14:44,112 --> 00:14:46,245
it was cool that
I called you my girlfriend.
273
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,116
You can call me
whatever you want.
274
00:14:48,247 --> 00:14:50,205
I'm not precious
about the terminology.
275
00:14:50,336 --> 00:14:54,514
Okay, so uh, we're like,
exclusive, then?
276
00:14:55,558 --> 00:14:57,256
Ford, we've discussed this.
277
00:14:57,386 --> 00:14:59,214
You know I believe that monogamy
278
00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:00,912
is a form of social control,
279
00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:03,436
which is contrary to our nature.
280
00:15:03,566 --> 00:15:05,481
What?
281
00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:07,396
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
282
00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:10,138
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
283
00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:13,620
food, childcare,
sexual partners.
284
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:15,404
They were very promiscuous
285
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:17,624
and it strengthened
their relationships,
286
00:15:17,754 --> 00:15:19,365
but then agriculture came along
287
00:15:19,495 --> 00:15:21,149
and people became obsessed
288
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,195
with ownership and
private property.
289
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,588
Oh, when was that?
290
00:15:26,938 --> 00:15:29,331
About 10,000 years ago.
291
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,767
Oh.
292
00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:33,031
Is this uh...
293
00:15:34,075 --> 00:15:36,991
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
294
00:15:37,122 --> 00:15:39,733
I know you're a
rocket scientist and--
295
00:15:39,863 --> 00:15:41,604
Astrobiological theorist.
296
00:15:41,735 --> 00:15:43,345
And no, Ford,
297
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,000
I actually think
you're extraordinary.
298
00:15:46,131 --> 00:15:50,091
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
299
00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:53,660
Thanks.
300
00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,618
It's so magnificent,
in fact,
301
00:15:55,749 --> 00:15:57,969
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
302
00:15:58,099 --> 00:16:00,362
Modern relationships
don't last
303
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,322
because we expect too
much of our partners.
304
00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:05,454
They need to fulfill
us emotionally,
305
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,848
satisfy us sexually.
306
00:16:07,979 --> 00:16:11,156
That's a lot to
ask of one person.
307
00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:15,638
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
308
00:16:16,857 --> 00:16:18,424
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
309
00:16:19,991 --> 00:16:22,994
-Uh, what?
-Nothing.
310
00:16:26,258 --> 00:16:30,566
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
311
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:34,092
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
312
00:16:34,222 --> 00:16:38,052
the open relationship
thing a try,
313
00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:39,314
I'm down.
314
00:16:43,318 --> 00:16:44,493
Really?
315
00:16:45,842 --> 00:16:47,235
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
316
00:16:47,366 --> 00:16:50,151
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
317
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:53,676
I mean it.
318
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,509
Okay, now pretend
like you're laughing
319
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,208
at a cute guy over
there being funny.
320
00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:05,601
But why am I wearing a bikini
in the living room?
321
00:17:05,732 --> 00:17:07,647
No one is thinking
about that, Amber.
322
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,650
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
323
00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:14,262
-[ laughs ]
-Oh, my God, okay,
324
00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:15,568
he's not, he's not like,
that funny.
325
00:17:15,698 --> 00:17:18,745
-He's amusing.
-Okay.
326
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,573
[ chuckles ]
327
00:17:20,703 --> 00:17:22,966
He's mildly amusing.
328
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:26,187
-[ camera snaps ]
-Perfect.
329
00:17:30,452 --> 00:17:32,019
I look mean.
330
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,847
No, you look confused.
331
00:17:33,977 --> 00:17:35,196
You look hot and confused.
332
00:17:35,327 --> 00:17:37,068
That's the ideal combination.
333
00:17:37,198 --> 00:17:38,199
-What?
-[ phone rings ]
334
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:41,942
Oh, sorry.
Hey.
335
00:17:42,073 --> 00:17:43,596
Oh, my God,
are you watching it?
336
00:17:43,726 --> 00:17:45,554
-Watching what?
-Murderous Minds.
337
00:17:45,685 --> 00:17:47,513
I told you, my
episode's on tonight.
338
00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:48,905
Oh, uh, shit!
339
00:17:49,036 --> 00:17:50,211
Oh, my God,
that's right, babe!
340
00:17:50,342 --> 00:17:51,952
I totally forgot!
341
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,475
That's so exciting!
342
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,564
Fuck, Carly!
343
00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:57,000
Hope you didn't miss me.
344
00:17:57,131 --> 00:17:58,219
I've gotta set the DVR.
345
00:18:00,439 --> 00:18:02,267
-What's happening now?
-What do you mean?
346
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:05,008
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
347
00:18:05,139 --> 00:18:07,924
Um, it, it looks like two cops
348
00:18:08,055 --> 00:18:10,492
are investigating
like, a crime scene.
349
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,799
Okay, shit, you're just in time.
It's my scene.
350
00:18:16,237 --> 00:18:17,891
What's happening now?
351
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:19,545
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
352
00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:20,589
Yes!
353
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,025
[ grunts ]
354
00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:26,117
Was that you?
355
00:18:26,247 --> 00:18:27,509
Uh yeah,
what, couldn't you tell?
356
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,860
No, you were amazing.
357
00:18:30,991 --> 00:18:32,166
Ah, I'm sure.
358
00:18:33,776 --> 00:18:34,734
Was I?
359
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,257
Mm-hm.
360
00:18:36,388 --> 00:18:38,303
Yeah, you, you were great,
Jethro.
361
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:40,783
Oh, hey, Amber's there!
Amber!
362
00:18:40,914 --> 00:18:44,091
-She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
363
00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:48,922
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
364
00:18:49,618 --> 00:18:52,926
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
365
00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:55,189
It's like I'm always
telling you, Carly,
366
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,625
it's about connecting the dots
367
00:18:56,756 --> 00:19:00,325
and maintaining
a positive attitude.
368
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:01,456
Which is why I really wish
you'd come with me
369
00:19:01,587 --> 00:19:03,154
to meditation class tonight.
370
00:19:03,284 --> 00:19:05,068
Yeah, I know, babe,
but I told you,
371
00:19:05,199 --> 00:19:07,332
I need to work on my
scene for class tomorrow.
372
00:19:07,462 --> 00:19:11,205
Yeah, well, Car,
the road to failure
is paved with excuses.
373
00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:12,989
[ phone beeping ]
374
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,948
Hey, babe, can we
continue this later?
375
00:19:15,078 --> 00:19:17,690
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
376
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:20,954
I'm almost to work anyway.
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
377
00:19:21,084 --> 00:19:23,130
You were awesome, babe.
378
00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:25,480
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
379
00:19:25,611 --> 00:19:28,527
Great.
Okay, see ya.
380
00:19:28,657 --> 00:19:31,791
-Hey.
-Gabriel is 43
fucking minutes late.
381
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,402
Like I said, low bar.
382
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:37,100
What should I do now?
Should I leave?
383
00:19:37,231 --> 00:19:40,234
[ chuckles ] Are you kidding?
You lost all your dignity
like, 28 minutes ago.
384
00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,671
I know.
Am I tragic?
385
00:19:42,802 --> 00:19:44,195
Don't, don't answer that.
386
00:19:44,325 --> 00:19:45,935
I was really hoping
to, you know,
387
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:47,459
finally solve the
mystery of, oh, shit.
388
00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:49,243
-CARLY: What? Is he there?
-Yeah.
389
00:19:49,374 --> 00:19:51,202
-I'll call you back.
-Okay, bye!
390
00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:57,033
Ulysses.
Oh, man, I am so sorry.
391
00:19:57,164 --> 00:19:59,122
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
392
00:19:59,253 --> 00:20:01,647
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
393
00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:04,084
-and, and my phone died--
-It's, it's okay, it's okay--
394
00:20:04,215 --> 00:20:05,955
Don't worry about it.
395
00:20:06,086 --> 00:20:07,870
Seriously though, I'm
big on first impressions
396
00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:11,134
and I feel so fucking bad.
397
00:20:11,265 --> 00:20:13,746
Well, you're here now, right?
398
00:20:13,876 --> 00:20:15,269
That's, that's all that matters.
399
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,314
Yeah.
400
00:20:16,444 --> 00:20:18,881
[ upbeat music ]
401
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:26,062
[ "Diamond Veins" by French 79 ]
402
00:20:44,603 --> 00:20:49,303
♪ Blood felt, joy of life
403
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:52,828
Whoa.
404
00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:54,352
Holy crap, baby.
405
00:20:54,482 --> 00:20:55,744
[ Carly chuckles ]
406
00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:58,138
Hey, Smokey.
You miss me?
407
00:20:58,269 --> 00:21:00,009
Sure did.
408
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,837
I want to drink you
up like a piña colada.
409
00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:06,712
Good, because I've
been a really bad girl.
410
00:21:06,842 --> 00:21:08,931
-[ loud slap ]
-[ gasps ] Ooh!
411
00:21:09,062 --> 00:21:11,020
-[ loud slap ]
-Ah!
412
00:21:11,151 --> 00:21:12,457
-[ loud slap ]
-[ moans ]
413
00:21:12,587 --> 00:21:15,024
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
414
00:21:15,155 --> 00:21:17,070
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
415
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,941
finger myself or something?
416
00:21:19,072 --> 00:21:21,292
Could we just talk first?
417
00:21:21,422 --> 00:21:24,599
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
418
00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:29,256
Well, I uh, I have always
wanted a job I could do lying
down.
419
00:21:30,126 --> 00:21:31,171
Hm.
420
00:21:32,303 --> 00:21:33,826
Show me!
421
00:21:33,956 --> 00:21:35,828
Show me, you deviant
little whore.
422
00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:38,265
You're so pitiful and weak!
423
00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:40,223
Just looking at
you makes me sick.
424
00:21:40,354 --> 00:21:42,313
Get on your knees!
425
00:21:42,443 --> 00:21:46,534
Damn. I so wish I hadn't
scheduled band practice for
tonight.
426
00:21:46,665 --> 00:21:49,015
Ah, it, it's cool.
427
00:21:49,145 --> 00:21:50,669
It's just that a
couple of weeks ago,
428
00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:53,236
I, I declared this
embargo on hookups.
429
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:55,195
I mean, you know
they're fun, obviously,
430
00:21:55,326 --> 00:22:00,069
but I always just feel,
well, gross and pagan after.
431
00:22:00,679 --> 00:22:02,724
Yeah, no, uh,
I know what you mean.
432
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:05,988
So I, I made sure
to make plans
433
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,078
so that no matter
how hot you were,
434
00:22:09,209 --> 00:22:12,691
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
435
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,695
No, it's, it's okay,
I totally get it.
436
00:22:19,698 --> 00:22:22,004
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
437
00:22:22,135 --> 00:22:23,832
Definitely.
438
00:22:23,963 --> 00:22:26,095
-Oh, shit!
-What? What?
439
00:22:26,226 --> 00:22:29,142
I fucking forgot
to charge my phone!
440
00:22:29,272 --> 00:22:32,754
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
441
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,017
That sucks.
442
00:22:36,454 --> 00:22:39,413
I guess we'll jus-
we'll just have to hang out
443
00:22:42,416 --> 00:22:45,114
again soon--
444
00:22:45,245 --> 00:22:49,858
-[ car horn honking ]
-[ men shouting ]
445
00:22:52,687 --> 00:22:53,862
Come on.
446
00:22:53,993 --> 00:22:56,691
[ gentle music ]
447
00:23:02,218 --> 00:23:03,698
No, wait.
448
00:23:03,829 --> 00:23:06,222
-What?
-[ sighs ]
449
00:23:06,353 --> 00:23:07,920
I'm not blowing this, am I?
450
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,923
What do you,
What do you mean?
451
00:23:11,053 --> 00:23:13,012
Well, I'm gonna see
you again, right?
452
00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:14,622
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
453
00:23:14,753 --> 00:23:17,669
No, no, no, you're
not fucking this up.
454
00:23:17,799 --> 00:23:20,280
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
455
00:23:24,110 --> 00:23:25,894
Handjobs only, though?
456
00:23:26,025 --> 00:23:26,982
What?
457
00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:29,202
For tonight, just handjobs?
458
00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:31,639
And save the rest for later?
459
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,294
Yeah. Yeah.
460
00:23:34,425 --> 00:23:35,948
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
461
00:23:36,078 --> 00:23:37,471
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
462
00:23:41,736 --> 00:23:43,259
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
463
00:23:43,390 --> 00:23:46,393
WORM: Mm-hm.
Can you wiggle them?
464
00:23:46,524 --> 00:23:48,003
Like this, you mean?
465
00:23:48,134 --> 00:23:51,093
Yeah, keep wiggling.
Keep wiggling.
466
00:23:51,224 --> 00:23:52,355
Worm, you know
you need to ask me
467
00:23:52,486 --> 00:23:54,662
more respectfully than that.
468
00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:57,056
Please.
Please wiggle your toes for me.
469
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:58,884
CARLY: Much better.
470
00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:00,581
Hell yeah.
471
00:24:01,843 --> 00:24:02,757
Keep wiggling.
472
00:24:02,888 --> 00:24:04,759
More, more wiggle.
473
00:24:05,673 --> 00:24:07,196
Oh, God.
[ moans ]
474
00:24:07,327 --> 00:24:10,330
[ both moaning ]
475
00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:12,767
-Oh!
-God!
476
00:24:12,898 --> 00:24:15,553
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
477
00:24:15,683 --> 00:24:17,642
[ groaning ]
478
00:24:17,772 --> 00:24:19,905
-Oh!
-Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
479
00:24:20,035 --> 00:24:22,473
[ both groan ]
480
00:24:22,603 --> 00:24:25,301
[ all groaning ]
481
00:24:34,746 --> 00:24:37,183
[ both panting ]
482
00:24:37,662 --> 00:24:38,576
Fuck.
483
00:24:43,189 --> 00:24:44,973
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
484
00:24:45,104 --> 00:24:46,235
I'm here to please you.
485
00:24:46,366 --> 00:24:47,759
I'll do anything you want.
486
00:24:49,848 --> 00:24:53,329
How about you do
30 naked pushups?
487
00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,244
Would that make Mistress happy?
488
00:24:55,375 --> 00:24:56,811
To be honest, no.
489
00:24:56,942 --> 00:24:58,900
I just-
I don't really care.
490
00:24:59,031 --> 00:25:00,685
Well, what would
make you truly happy?
491
00:25:00,815 --> 00:25:02,251
I'm here to serve you.
492
00:25:04,340 --> 00:25:05,298
Really?
493
00:25:07,648 --> 00:25:11,086
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
494
00:25:11,217 --> 00:25:13,219
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
495
00:25:13,349 --> 00:25:15,526
Yeah, I'm gonna
pass on that one.
496
00:25:15,656 --> 00:25:17,310
But you said you
would do anything.
497
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,964
Well, I know, but--
498
00:25:19,094 --> 00:25:20,443
Well, okay, well,
what if I like,
499
00:25:20,574 --> 00:25:21,662
take my top off while I do it?
500
00:25:21,793 --> 00:25:22,707
Okay, sure.
501
00:25:22,837 --> 00:25:24,578
Cool. Great.
502
00:25:24,709 --> 00:25:25,710
Okay.
503
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,149
So, you're Anne,
504
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,020
and I'm Mary, okay?
505
00:25:33,544 --> 00:25:34,719
Okay.
506
00:25:36,677 --> 00:25:40,725
Do you feel as
awful as you look?
507
00:25:40,855 --> 00:25:43,945
Why would you come here
if all you wanted to
do was torment me?
508
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:45,425
Hey, you're good.
509
00:25:45,556 --> 00:25:46,992
Hey!
510
00:25:47,122 --> 00:25:48,254
-[ snaps ]
-Stay in character!
511
00:25:48,384 --> 00:25:49,298
Next line.
512
00:25:49,429 --> 00:25:50,299
ULYSSES: Wow.
513
00:25:54,390 --> 00:25:56,262
That was kind of intense.
514
00:25:56,392 --> 00:25:57,306
Yeah.
515
00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,266
[ panting ]
516
00:26:05,358 --> 00:26:07,360
Seriously, I mean
what was that?
517
00:26:07,490 --> 00:26:09,362
Was it, was it just me or
did, did it feel like
518
00:26:09,492 --> 00:26:12,017
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
519
00:26:12,147 --> 00:26:13,061
No, I felt it too.
520
00:26:15,716 --> 00:26:16,978
I'm almost afraid
to see what happens
521
00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:18,110
when we actually have sex.
522
00:26:20,242 --> 00:26:23,768
Look, I, I realize
that we just met
523
00:26:23,898 --> 00:26:27,859
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
524
00:26:27,989 --> 00:26:32,646
but something strange
seems to be going on here.
525
00:26:35,083 --> 00:26:36,824
Yeah.
526
00:26:36,955 --> 00:26:39,044
Yeah, I mean, it sort of-
it sort of feels like
527
00:26:40,872 --> 00:26:41,960
-fate.
-Fate.
528
00:26:47,705 --> 00:26:49,489
But I- got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
529
00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:51,360
Right, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
530
00:26:51,491 --> 00:26:54,929
So uh, so when do I get
to see you next?
531
00:26:55,060 --> 00:26:56,627
Well, whenever.
I mean, whenever you--
532
00:26:56,757 --> 00:26:59,542
-How about tomorrow?
-Tomorrow's great.
533
00:27:00,543 --> 00:27:01,457
Cool.
534
00:27:02,676 --> 00:27:03,677
Oh, fuck.
535
00:27:08,421 --> 00:27:10,597
Okay, shit.
536
00:27:10,728 --> 00:27:11,903
Now I really got to go.
537
00:27:12,033 --> 00:27:13,992
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
all right.
538
00:27:15,210 --> 00:27:17,822
[ gentle music ]
539
00:27:34,229 --> 00:27:35,753
Holy fucking shit!
540
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,234
-[ loud crash ]
-[ yelps ]
541
00:27:39,365 --> 00:27:40,496
[ loud thud ]
542
00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:45,676
Ow!
543
00:28:15,140 --> 00:28:18,056
[ ethereal music ]
544
00:28:18,186 --> 00:28:19,666
Help me!
545
00:28:21,407 --> 00:28:22,974
Please!
546
00:28:30,111 --> 00:28:31,156
Please, help me!
547
00:28:33,245 --> 00:28:34,202
No!
548
00:28:36,161 --> 00:28:37,728
Oh, God!
549
00:28:37,858 --> 00:28:40,165
No! No!
550
00:28:46,954 --> 00:28:48,913
[ groaning ]
551
00:28:51,959 --> 00:28:53,352
Oh, God, no!
552
00:28:55,049 --> 00:28:56,050
No!
553
00:29:03,057 --> 00:29:04,189
No!
554
00:29:05,233 --> 00:29:06,365
Help me!
555
00:29:07,801 --> 00:29:09,020
Please!
556
00:29:09,150 --> 00:29:10,064
Help me!
557
00:29:10,195 --> 00:29:11,065
[ hisses loudly ]
558
00:29:11,196 --> 00:29:13,111
[ screams ]
559
00:29:14,895 --> 00:29:18,333
[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]
560
00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:32,913
♪ Give it away now, girl
561
00:29:33,044 --> 00:29:36,090
♪ Can't hold
39223
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