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1
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In old country of Schlupsk, I am ditch digger.
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It is not always great.
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Life is difficult.
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But then one day,
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Hashem gives me a miracle.
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Her name is Sarah.
7
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She is strong
8
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and she has all her teeth, top and bottom.
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I decide at once to woo her.
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Wooing fails,
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but I am determined to win her.
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Every day, I dig twice the ditch.
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It is greatest summer of my life.
14
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We have so much in common.
15
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Her favorite color black. My favorite color black.
16
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Her parents murdered by Cossacks.
17
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My parents murdered by Cossacks.
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I notice nice little thing about her.
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She always sneeze same way.
20
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Four time.
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Is adorable.
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Sometimes, when we want to be alone,
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we go to very special bog.
24
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We tell each other all our hopes and dreams.
25
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Oh.
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We have wedding in front of whole town.
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Hashem blesses us.
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For a bit.
29
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We are attacked by Cossacks.
30
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Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry,
31
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Russian maniacs drunk from vodka.
32
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Jew!
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The Cossacks destroy our whole world.
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But...
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we are the Greenbaums.
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We are strong.
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And together there is no stopping us.
38
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We keep fighting till we have American dream.
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All right, let's get these
40
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dumb Polacks outta here.
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Compared to Cossacks,
42
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Americans very kind.
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All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go.
44
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I find good job in pickle factory.
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A good Jewish business.
46
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The foreman will not let me mix salt.
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Or sort cucumber.
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But he says I can chase rats with club
49
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and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash.
50
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It is not dream job.
51
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But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth.
52
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Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel.
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Some things still out of reach.
54
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Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water!
55
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Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today?
56
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It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men.
57
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It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies.
58
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But over time we work and save.
59
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I grant Sarah's wish.
60
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A beautiful Greenbaum family plot
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for us to share.
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Forever.
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Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all.
64
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So one night to Sarah
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I make this vow.
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Our child will be strong.
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And our child's child will be strong.
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Our family will prosper.
69
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And in 100 years,
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the Greenbaums will be powerful.
71
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Successful.
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The strongest in the land.
73
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And then one day,
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everything changed.
75
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Attention!
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This factory has been condemned.
77
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-Damn it. -Shit.
78
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Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro.
79
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No, it's definitely this way.
80
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Whoa.
81
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Let's go!
82
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Please! Please! Settle down.
83
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Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly.
84
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It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day.
85
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-That's impossible. -You don't honestly expect us
86
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to buy that, do you?
87
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000
What's the science behind it?
88
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000
Please, let me explain.
89
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000
The scientist explains.
90
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His logic is good.
91
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It satisfies everyone.
92
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-Oh, yes. -It makes sense.
93
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-Absolutely. -Very clear.
94
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But...
95
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I'm very sad.
96
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The world has changed.
97
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Everything I know is gone. And...
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...everyone.
99
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I'm so sorry, Herschel.
100
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You will check again.
101
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We already checked the city records twice.
102
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She wasn't brined.
103
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She's been dead for 80 years.
104
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You will check again.
105
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000
We already checked.
106
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My Sarah is gone.
107
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Our child is gone.
108
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I have nothing.
109
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Then I get some great news.
110
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Great news, Herschel.
111
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It took a little bit of doing,
112
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but we were able to track down a living relative.
113
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I have family?
114
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Yes.
115
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A great-grandson.
116
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And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn
117
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and he's exactly the same age as you.
118
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And we're contacting him right now.
119
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Thank you.
120
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,000
I am so excited I forget all my misery.
121
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Even though I have not met this Ben,
122
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I can see him in my mind.
123
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He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah,
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powerful.
125
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Successful.
126
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The strongest in the land.
127
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Oh, I'm sorry.
128
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Excuse me.
129
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Greenbaum.
130
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Yeah.
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Greenbaum.
132
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Greenbaum.
133
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Greenbaum.
134
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Greenbaum!
135
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Greenbaum!
136
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Greenbaum!
137
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All right!
138
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It must be so crazy for you.
139
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Very crazy.
140
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Crazy for me, too, man.
141
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Are you allowed to leave?
142
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Do you wanna come back to my apartment?
143
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-Very much. -All right. Let's go.
144
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Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson.
145
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So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you.
146
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Take it in.
147
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Cool, huh?
148
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Make way.
149
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It's a scooter.
150
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They're actually pretty fun.
151
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Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future.
152
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There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it.
153
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It's cool, man. It's a cab.
154
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It's gonna take us back to my apartment. Hop in.
155
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It's all right.
156
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Oh, yeah, crawl in.
157
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There you go. You got it.
158
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We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you.
159
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Here we are, man.
160
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Home, sweet home.
161
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Hey, check this out.
162
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Alexa, lights.
163
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Pretty cool, huh?
164
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All this yours?
165
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that.
166
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I do live here by myself. I work from home,
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though, a lot.
168
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It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around.
169
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So you can stay here as long as you want.
170
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I do not want to be burden to you.
171
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It's not a burden, Herschel. At all. I mean...
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I really never thought I would get a chance
173
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to meet another Greenbaum. So...
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Neither did I.
175
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You must be thirsty.
176
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I mean, you were brined for, like, a century.
177
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And there's salt in brine, right?
178
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So you must be pretty parched, to say the least.
179
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Can I get you something to drink?
180
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Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk.
181
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I got pea milk. They're milking peas now.
182
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They're milking everything these days, dude.
183
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You name it, they're milking it.
184
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I got mint tea. I have kombucha.
185
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-"Kombucha"? -Yeah.
186
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It's fermented... stuff. Honestly, I don't even know.
187
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Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy.
188
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-Would you like some? -Is fine.
189
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They inject drink into my arm in hospital.
190
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-I am fine. -Fair enough.
191
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There must be something I can get you.
192
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Would you like some seltzer?
193
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You have seltzer.
194
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Oh, I got seltzer for days, son.
195
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I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually.
196
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Ya just fill this up there.
197
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That's it. You put in the cartridge.
198
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"Cartridge."
199
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And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer.
200
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Press button.
201
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Exactly. You wanna press it?
202
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You'll let me press seltzer button?
203
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Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family.
204
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So you can press the seltzer button.
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Knock yourself out.
206
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Yeah!
207
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There you go. You're seltzering.
208
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Pretty cool, huh?
209
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-The bubble. -So many bubbles.
210
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Well...
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One for you. And one for me.
212
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Cheers.
213
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L'chaim.
214
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Ooh!
215
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Yeah.
216
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Crazy.
217
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This must be very overwhelming for you.
218
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It's a lot. It's a little much.
219
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But I think you'll find there's actually, like,
220
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some pretty cool stuff about the future.
221
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Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that.
222
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,000
Uh, I know what else you might like.
223
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
You like music, right?
224
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Yes.
225
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Watch this.
226
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Alexa, play...
227
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oldies.
228
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Here's a station for you. Oldies.
229
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Pretty cool, huh?
230
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000
It's a stereo,
231
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and it plays music from the Internet.
232
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It comes through these speakers.
233
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Pretty good, huh?
234
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
It's a good song.
235
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Here, check it, check it, check it.
236
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It's you. It's you singing.
237
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000
No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there.
238
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000
-Get in there, man. -It's okay.
239
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000
-It's okay. -Get in there.
240
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
I watch you dance.
241
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
I'm a very good dancer for my time.
242
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Come on. Get in there.
243
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Come on. Get in there. I know you want to.
244
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Yeah.
245
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, there you go.
246
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it,
247
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
I would imagine.
248
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Good pizza, huh?
249
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Hey.
250
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000
They are couple?
251
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
Yeah, yeah. Interracial couples
252
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totally cool now
253
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in parts of the country.
254
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Yeah, check it out.
255
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Twinsies.
256
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage?
257
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
-Good, huh? -Hmm?
258
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Kosher, too.
259
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This is a scooter.
260
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000
You have legs. You do not need this thing.
261
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000
That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say.
262
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000
How many pairs of shoes you own?
263
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Um, like seven, maybe?
264
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Seven. How many sock?
265
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks.
266
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five.
267
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
It's a lot of socks.
268
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000
Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock.
269
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000
It's pretty normal for today.
270
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Tell me, what is it you do for job?
271
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor.
272
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000
No. You're a lawyer.
273
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
No.
274
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Close. Freelance mobile app developer.
275
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
What?
276
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
It's easier if I show you.
277
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Here, come on.
278
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,000
You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good."
279
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Check it out, man.
280
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Go.
281
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,000
A magic rectangle. You make this?
282
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000
No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though.
283
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
But let me ask you this,
284
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
before people buy something
285
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
what's something they wish they knew?
286
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
How long has meat been dead for?
287
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Yeah, that.
288
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Also, they want to know
289
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000
whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical.
290
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000
-They do? -Yes.
291
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
They do. It's called "conscientious shopping."
292
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
It's very popular.
293
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
My app makes it very easy.
294
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
All you do is, you scan a product.
295
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000
And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical
296
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
by analyzing its carbon footprint,
297
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
its labor policies,
298
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000
and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score.
299
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Check it out.
300
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000
91.
301
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000
These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious
302
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
because I know how ethical they are.
303
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Thanks to Boop Bop.
304
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
-"Boop Bop"? -Boop Bop, yeah.
305
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
-It's called "Boop Bop." -Why Boop Bop?
306
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Um...
307
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000
You know, it's kinda just like the trend,
308
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000
I guess, these days
309
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000
to give apps, like, silly names.
310
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000
You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and...
311
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
You know, you might think it's kinda silly.
312
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
But I've been working on it pretty hard
313
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000
for five years now, basically.
314
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know,
315
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000
start the next chapter, which is exciting.
316
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000
You work for five years. How come you no sell?
317
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
It's just...
318
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
not ready yet.
319
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
I'm still finalizing some things.
320
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Just really focused on getting it right, you know?
321
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Making it perfect.
322
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000
I think once it's ready, though, I'll have
323
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000
a pretty easy time selling it.
324
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000
I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital.
325
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000
And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it.
326
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000
He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done.
327
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000
But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo.
328
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me.
329
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
I kinda wish it was mustardier, though.
330
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Is this your father?
331
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
No, that's David Bowie.
332
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Is this your mother?
333
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
No, that's also David Bowie.
334
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
That whole poster's David Bowie.
335
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
How come in this whole place you have so many things,
336
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
but no pictures of family?
337
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
I have pictures of my family.
338
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
I just haven't really,
339
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000
you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my...
340
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
design.
341
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
But I got that stuff right here.
342
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
You kept.
343
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Yeah. I kept.
344
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000
Who is this?
345
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000
That's...
346
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,000
your son.
347
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000
It's Mort Greenbaum.
348
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000
"Mort"?
349
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Sarah had son.
350
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
How was his life?
351
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Was he success?
352
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory.
353
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000
A foreman?
354
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Yeah.
355
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Who is this?
356
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Uh...
357
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
That's Mort's son.
358
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000
David Greenbaum. Your grandson.
359
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
He was also foreman?
360
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
He was an accountant.
361
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
-Accountant. -Yeah.
362
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
This his wife?
363
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000
Mm-hmm.
364
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Who is this very shapely young woman here?
365
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000
That's me.
366
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000
These are your parents.
367
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Where are they?
368
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
They passed away.
369
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
I'm very sorry.
370
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Murdered or regular?
371
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000
It was a car crash.
372
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
So, regular.
373
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
You will tell me everything of their death
374
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
so I may bear witness to your grief.
375
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:53,000
How their bodies died, their faces as the life left.
376
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Be very specific.
377
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Spare no detail.
378
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
We will bond over our pain.
379
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
No detail too small.
380
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
We don't have to get into that right now.
381
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000
You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg.
382
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000
They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good.
383
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000
We will go to cemetery now.
384
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead.
385
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Actually, I'm not sure...
386
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
I don't think the cemetery's open right now.
387
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
So we go to cemetery tomorrow.
388
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
I think it was maybe supposed to rain.
389
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
So I guess weather permitting.
390
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
All right. But now we go to shul,
391
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
we say Mourner's Kaddish, prayer for dead.
392
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents.
393
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Yeah, I'm not...
394
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000
I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now.
395
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,000
But I would be happy to walk you over there.
396
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000
What is problem?
397
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000
It's not a problem.
398
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,000
I guess I understand why you're a religious person.
399
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
That makes sense for someone from your era.
400
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000
But I am not...
401
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
I'm not very religious.
402
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
You do not know Mourner's Kaddish?
403
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Not anymore, no.
404
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
How do you grieve for dead parents
405
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
if you do not say prayer for dead?
406
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
I'm doing okay.
407
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I do not understand.
408
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000
You were raised Jew.
409
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Yeah.
410
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Are you not still Jew?
411
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Technically.
412
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah.
413
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
It's not like I was that religious
414
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
in the first place.
415
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Also, like, organized religion is very regressive.
416
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot.
417
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Very special place. Very special.
418
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Tell me, how high is elm tree now?
419
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000
100 feet?
420
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
200 feet?
421
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Yeah. Something like that. Probably. I'm not 100% sure.
422
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
When last time you come?
423
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000
I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'.
424
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
So been a little while.
425
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Wait.
426
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000
It's this way.
427
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000
This way!
428
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Sweet Hashem.
429
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000
You let them put garbage.
430
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000
And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree!
431
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Yeah, it's not on our property.
432
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
There's nothing we can do about it.
433
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Sarah.
434
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
You okay?
435
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000
We will pray.
436
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Hey, guys!
437
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Sorry, you can't be there.
438
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
What?
439
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
We're putting up a billboard!
440
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
What it say?
441
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000
It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka.
442
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Vanilla-flavored...
443
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
...vodka?
444
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Cossacks.
445
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Cossack!
446
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Hershel, what are you doin', man?
447
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000
You will take down vanilla vodka...
448
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
or I will do violence.
449
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000
What?
450
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,000
You will take down vanilla vodka...
451
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
or I will do violence.
452
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Look, buddy, I don't have time for--
453
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Oh, shit. No!
454
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
-Stop! -Yes!
455
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Stop!
456
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Come on! Come on!
457
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Ben! Ben!
458
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Come on!
459
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000
You can never stop the Greenbaums!
460
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
You will never stop the Greenbaums!
461
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Your payment's been processed. You're free to go.
462
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Fantastic.
463
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
We must go back to grave.
464
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
We will cut down Cossack billboard.
465
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000
Dude, if we do that,
466
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
we're gonna go back to jail. So, no.
467
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000
Okay. We must purchase billboard from Cossack,
468
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000
which I do not like,
469
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
and then we cut down billboard.
470
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
First off, the Cossacks don't own it.
471
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company.
472
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000
It costs $200,000.
473
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard.
474
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Why are you being so difficult about this?
475
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000
I can't afford it!
476
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys?
477
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
I don't have $200,000.
478
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000
You have all this, so you have moneys.
479
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000
How much moneys you have?
480
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left.
481
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us
482
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
out of jail, Herschel.
483
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000
It's not my fault!
484
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
What is your fault is that you started a fight with
485
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
some construction workers!
486
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you.
487
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000
And I'd be defending the honor of our family more
488
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
if I wasn't busy trying to create a company
489
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
and a product, man!
490
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000
You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops.
491
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
You don't understand how much pressure there is
492
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
on this stuff. Okay?
493
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
I'm trying to make it perfect.
494
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
Blue. Green. Red. Who cares?
495
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Pick a color!
496
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo!
497
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Let me tell you something.
498
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
In Schlupsk, we have saying.
499
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well.
500
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000
If man says he is going to throw punch,
501
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
but he does not throw punch,
502
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
it is because this man secretly has polio arm.
503
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000
This is you.
504
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000
You have polio arm.
505
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
This your polio arm.
506
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
Throw your punch!
507
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Do something, Ben!
508
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000
Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops.
509
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Blue, yellow, green! Who cares?
510
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Throw your punch!
511
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Okay. Fine! You know what? Fine! Fine!
512
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000
-Good. Good. Do it. -I'll email the guy.
513
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000
No choice anyway. I have no money.
514
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000
It's not ready. Logo's not right.
515
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Who cares about the stupid logo?
516
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
You know they cured polio, right?
517
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000
-They did? -Yes, they did.
518
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,000
A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk.
519
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
Was he Jew?
520
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000
He was. Yes.
521
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000
-He was Jewish? -Yes.
522
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
Yes! Knew it.
523
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Oh, yeah, big win.
524
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,000
I would look at polio people and think,
525
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
"They could fix this."
526
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
You thought that?
527
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,000
This problem not unfixable problem.
528
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
You put a Jew on this, he will fix this.
529
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Very prophetic of you, Herschel.
530
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
I was right. Very good.
531
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000
He's texting back.
532
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000
He says my idea's "straight fire."
533
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
That's a good thing.
534
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,000
He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person.
535
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000
He wants your Boop Bops.
536
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000
-This is a big deal, Herschel. -Yes.
537
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000
He wants my Boop Bops.
538
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000
Ben, what's up?
539
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Hey! How's it going, man?
540
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000
We're not gonna invest.
541
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000
-What? -Yeah. Sorry, man.
542
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000
What's the problem?
543
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Before you came in, we googled your name
544
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000
and the first thing that comes up is your arrest.
545
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Look, it's just bad optics.
546
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000
I mean, the whole app is about ethics,
547
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
and the founder is a violent criminal.
548
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop,
549
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000
you'd get a really low Boop Bop score.
550
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Is there anything we can do?
551
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Can we spin this or something like that?
552
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Oh, no. Definitely not.
553
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000
No one's gonna touch this, man. This is...
554
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
This idea is dead.
555
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
Look, consider this an opportunity.
556
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000
I mean, there's tons of other ideas.
557
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000
-How long did it take to come up with this?
558
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000
-Five years.
559
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Five years. That's--
560
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
Long time.
561
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
Yeah, that's a while.
562
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Sorry to disappoint you, I guess.
563
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter
564
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000
if the founder's a bad person.
565
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Like a social media thing.
566
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man,
567
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
but it's never too late to do things completely differently.
568
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
You know?
569
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
-Yeah. -Yeah.
570
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Take care, man.
571
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Call me if you got anything new.
572
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000
Did you get moneys?
573
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000
No. I didn't get moneys.
574
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000
And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys
575
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,000
for my business that is based on ethics
576
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
now that I have a criminal record for assault
577
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
because of you!
578
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops
579
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000
because is terrible idea. So...
580
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000
I have other idea.
581
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000
We start pickle business.
582
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Is good business. Jewish business.
583
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
I have knowledge of pickling.
584
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000
I was myself a pickle.
585
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
That's a very stupid idea, Herschel.
586
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,000
It will work.
587
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000
We will start pickle business.
588
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000
We will become success.
589
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000
You will finally make dead parents proud.
590
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Don't you talk about my parents.
591
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000
You never talk about my parents!
592
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You don't know anything about them!
593
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You never met them!
594
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined
595
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
for 100 years!
596
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000
It's your fault, Herschel.
597
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
You got us arrested.
598
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000
You ruined my business that I spent years on!
599
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000
It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore.
600
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000
'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you.
601
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000
You hear this vow.
602
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000
I will create pickle empire.
603
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I will make $200,000.
604
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000
I will buy back Cossack land.
605
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000
And I will cut down billboard.
606
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,000
I will prove you stupid.
607
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Because you are my enemy.
608
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,000
You dishonor Greenbaum name.
609
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000
We are no longer family.
610
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000
Good luck with that.
611
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
You don't know jack shit about shit, man.
612
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
You can't even read from what I can tell.
613
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000
You're gonna start a pickle empire?
614
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000
You can't even survive out there without my help!
615
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Do not need help from anybody.
616
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:55,000
I will prove you stupid with no help from anybody ever!
617
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
I would like to purchase. How much?
618
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
Looks like these are 90 cents apiece.
619
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me
620
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000
like you are saying these cucumbers
621
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000
are 90 cents apiece.
622
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
I am.
623
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Cucumber.
624
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
And salt.
625
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Yes!
626
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Yes!
627
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000
Oh, my God. Kevin, look.
628
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Artisanal pickles.
629
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000
Well, he's not on Yelp.
630
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Sir. How local is your produce?
631
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000
I make pickle here in Brooklyn.
632
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
And are they all-natural?
633
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Is pickle.
634
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
But do you add any chemicals like,
635
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000
you know, benzoates or preservatives?
636
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000
I do not even know these words.
637
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Oh, I like your style.
638
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Ooh, let's see.
639
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Wow! Ooh.
640
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000
Just hits me in my throat.
641
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Very pungent.
642
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Let me smell it.
643
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Oh! Yeah, that burns.
644
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
You can feel the burn.
645
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000
I can, like, smell it in my eye.
646
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Feel the sting.
647
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
Give it to me again. Let me smell it.
648
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil.
649
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Satanic. Oh, it stinks.
650
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
You know what, it would go so good
651
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
with the kelp ceviche.
652
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Oh, my God, that's right. How much do we owe you?
653
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
You want to buy?
654
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Of course.
655
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,000
Is four dollar for pickle.
656
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000
Three dollar less than big store
657
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000
and I include the scum.
658
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000
-Okay. Sure. -Okay! Yeah, scum.
659
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
-Here you go. -That's great.
660
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Scum it is.
661
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000
You no haggle.
662
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000
Haggle? No, I mean, it seems like four dollars
663
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000
is appropriate for one pickle.
664
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
Yeah, unless you got a coupon.
665
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Ew!
666
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Also, you bring back jar when you finish.
667
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
-He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars.
668
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
-Wow.
669
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
There is nothing wrong with used jar.
670
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
They same after many, many use.
671
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Amen to that!
672
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000
-Amen. -Amen.
673
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
You are religious.
674
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,000
Amen! Well, thank you so much. Have a good day.
675
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Don't forget bring back jar.
676
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Or I will find you, and I will do
677
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000
terrible violence.
678
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
You know what? You should do a post on him.
679
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Oh. Yeah. How could I not?
680
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000
Hey, man, how's it going?
681
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000
Yeah, not fantastic.
682
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000
I found out I gotta basically throw away
683
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000
the app I was working on,
684
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000
and start again from scratch.
685
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000
-Bummer. -Yeah. Big bummer.
686
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000
But I'll think of something.
687
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
It's about the smell.
688
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
You know is good.
689
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,000
Pickles should smell like vomit.
690
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Excuse me, what is that?
691
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy
692
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
over on Bedford.
693
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy.
694
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out.
695
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Herschel's jars have no label,
696
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
and his product doesn't even have a name.
697
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000
But he just might be the most authentic
698
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,000
artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg.
699
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
And his accent is cute AF.
700
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,000
Hello.
701
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000
Aww! Oh, my God!
702
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars,
703
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000
cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it.
704
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000
Time to invest right now, right?
705
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Is this a popular blog?
706
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000
This video's got like a million views,
707
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
so people are loving this pickle guy.
708
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000
Maybe we should sell those here.
709
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Picklebacks, pickle shots. That's cool, right?
710
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Looks cool.
711
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,000
I know.
712
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn.
713
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,000
How does it feel to be such a runaway success?
714
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000
Ben Greenbaum, you see me now on your television box.
715
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Well, I become huge success.
716
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000
Soon I buy back Cossack billboard
717
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000
and I prove you are stupid.
718
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000
You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life.
719
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid.
720
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
...genius compared to you.
721
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000
Okay. Not sure who Ben is.
722
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Herschel, I understand your pickles are made
723
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000
with rainwater.
724
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
-Rainwater, yes. -Yes.
725
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Rainwater from gutters.
726
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Nutrients from roof come off into jar.
727
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000
There's bird droppings in there?
728
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000
All sorts of animal parts in here.
729
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Little essence of animal feet.
730
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000
Could you pull over, please?
731
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
Hello. Health Department?
732
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000
I'd like to file a complaint.
733
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
-There you go. You take pickle.
734
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
-Gratitude.
735
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Are you Herschel Greenbaum?
736
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Yes, 14 dollar for pickle.
737
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Ten dollar extra if you want telephone photograph
738
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
with the Herschel.
739
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Get in line.
740
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately.
741
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Why shut down?
742
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000
Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations.
743
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000
You can't just take food out of a garbage can
744
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000
and sell it to people.
745
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,000
-That's insane. -But is all-natural. Is vegan.
746
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000
No benzoate. No preservative.
747
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
You're lucky no one has died.
748
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,000
You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines.
749
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000
Till then, you are shut down.
750
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,000
Ew. Guys.
751
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage.
752
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Nope.
753
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000
Oh, my God.
754
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000
-CHRISTIAN: Herschel, we heard the terrible news.
755
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000
-KEVIN: Yeah, what happened?
756
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
I was shut down by evil woman.
757
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000
They tell me I have to "bring things up to code."
758
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000
I do not know how to do this all by myself.
759
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
-You could scale up the business, right?
760
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
-True.
761
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
-Maybe hire some workers. -That's good.
762
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000
Cannot afford workers.
763
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
You could get interns!
764
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000
Yes.
765
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
"Interns"?
766
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Yeah, they're unpaid workers.
767
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Unpaid workers.
768
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000
Right. You compensate them in education and experience.
769
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Like slave?
770
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000
No, no, no. That's not what I mean.
771
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000
That's a little bit of an oversimplification.
772
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small,
773
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000
ethically conscious...
774
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000
Next.
775
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance
776
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000
for considering me for this internship.
777
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000
My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU.
778
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000
I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president
779
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000
of the Asian Cinema Club--
780
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000
Show me your teeth.
781
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Yes.
782
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Herschel is back!
783
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves.
784
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
That's the regulation.
785
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Like the beard tucked in. That's important!
786
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000
All right. Let's get this up to code, people.
787
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Just pickling. No talking.
788
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,000
No!
789
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000
No, no, no!
790
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000
CLARA: Almost there. Keep it up!
791
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,000
All right!
792
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
This is what we're reaching for, everybody.
793
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000
This is the dream.
794
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000
This is the goal.
795
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Perfect jar of pickle.
796
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Go.
797
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000
Hey there!
798
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000
Yes!
799
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Yes, yes, yeah!
800
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Thank you.
801
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,000
Yeah!
802
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Move it, move it!
803
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000
Hurry! Hurry up!
804
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
It says your deed on the lot is paid in full.
805
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Cut it down.
806
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Herschel win! Yeah!
807
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000
This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks.
808
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000
Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world.
809
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000
That's what you're gonna do.
810
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.
811
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,000
We know it. We know it.
812
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000
Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over.
813
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
-Move over, Bill Gates. -Watch out, Bill.
814
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Ben Greenbaum's got your number.
815
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000
I appreciate it. Thank you, guys.
816
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000
And we know you're gonna do such great things.
817
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000
Great things. -And speaking of...
818
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,000
Guys.
819
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,000
-It's just a little... -A little something.
820
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,000
Oh, my God.
821
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000
It's an investment. An investment
822
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000
in your new company.
823
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
-We wanted to get in on the ground floor.
824
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
-Yes, absolutely. Bottom.
825
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000
My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think
826
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000
it's a little premature.
827
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,000
Come on! You'll think of something.
828
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,000
You could just call it "Mom and Dad."
829
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000
You're so creative, inventive.
830
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000
"Mom and Dad." I like that--
831
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,000
I have done it.
832
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,000
I have restored honor to family and conquered the Cossacks.
833
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000
Congrats.
834
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Now I have some free time on my hands,
835
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000
so I have good news.
836
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,000
Herschel is back.
837
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000
I have decided I would come back
838
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000
to be with you.
839
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Not for me. I am fine. Very stable.
840
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy
841
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
all the time.
842
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Oh, yeah?
843
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000
But for Ben, I figure maybe I come back and I help you.
844
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000
You have no wife, no children, no friends, and now no job.
845
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000
You need help!
846
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Herschel will help. Do not worry.
847
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here.
848
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000
Okay?
849
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Just please leave my apartment.
850
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
But I am only family you have left.
851
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000
You need Herschel.
852
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000
Without Herschel, you'll be all alone.
853
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000
No one to fix broken life.
854
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000
My life isn't broken, Herschel.
855
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000
I'm fine. I'm completely happy.
856
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:42,000
The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you.
857
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,000
Just please go!
858
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000
If you do not realize you need Herschel,
859
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
you are stupider than Polish person.
860
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
And they are the stupidest.
861
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000
How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel?
862
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,000
What is Twitter?
863
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000
"What is Twitter?" You don't know what Twitter is?
864
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000
Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know
865
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000
what Twitter is?
866
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000
I might know what it is by other word.
867
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,000
Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify.
868
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas
869
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000
where the world's best and brightest come
870
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000
to share their opinions
871
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000
in a very measured and reasonable manner. Twitter.
872
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
I will do Twitter.
873
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
You probably think you can but it's very complicated.
874
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
I don't think you'll get it.
875
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000
-I can do anything. -I don't think you can.
876
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000
-Can you do Twitter? -Oh, I can do Twitter.
877
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000
If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter.
878
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,000
In order to do Twitter really well,
879
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,000
you gotta be raw and uncensored
880
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
and share your completely unfettered opinions.
881
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,000
I don't think you'll be good at that.
882
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000
-I will do Twitter! -Really? I don't know.
883
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,000
You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter.
884
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever
885
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
done Twitter.
886
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel.
887
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000
You will see it. And you will believe it.
888
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Well, have at it, my friend!
889
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000
Watch.
890
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000
Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help.
891
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000
No help.
892
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000
I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me now.
893
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Now read me back my dictation.
894
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000
Okay.
895
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,000
"Wheelchair people,
896
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000
-my pickles are so good... -Yes.
897
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000
...it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you."
898
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000
Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths.
899
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000
They can eat pickle.
900
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000
-Is good. -Okay.
901
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
-Send to Twitter. -Sending.
902
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000
"We sell to all peoples
903
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:36,000
even woman, unless they are menses,
904
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000
in which case, stay in tent."
905
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000
Stay in tent.
906
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,000
Next Twitter.
907
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000
-"Attention, sodomites." -Yes.
908
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000
"Hashem will smite you for your sin!
909
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,000
You will burn in flames for your crimes against God.
910
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Buy my pickles."
911
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000
Perfect to send.
912
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,000
Very good.
913
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Yep.
914
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,000
Oh, lots of customers today.
915
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Those are not customers. Those are protesters.
916
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000
You're disgusting, man!
917
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000
How dare you?
918
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,000
"Protesters"?
919
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000
Down with Herschel!
920
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Down with Herschel!
921
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Down with Herschel!
922
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Down with Herschel!
923
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Sir, as grateful as I am to you
924
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000
for this educational opportunity,
925
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000
I am afraid that I can no longer
926
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,000
continue this endeavor in good conscience.
927
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Thank you for the college credit.
928
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Clara!
929
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Down with Herschel! Down with Herschel!
930
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,000
You traitor!
931
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000
After everything I do for you!
932
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,000
I'm sorry.
933
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000
Down with Herschel!
934
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Go away! Go away!
935
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Who is Herschel Greenbaum?
936
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,000
And what is he selling?
937
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Is it pickles?
938
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,000
Or is it hate?
939
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous,
940
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
they seem almost designed to cause offense.
941
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,000
You're insane!
942
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000
He's drawing protests and boycotts.
943
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,000
But maybe that's the point.
944
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
Some view him as a hateful bigot
945
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
with rage in his heart.
946
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Others see him as a defender of free speech,
947
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000
a clever provocateur testing the limits
948
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000
of the First Amendment.
949
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000
Look, I get it. He's saying
950
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000
some controversial things
951
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000
but he's religious, so I believe him.
952
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000
He's what we need right now.
953
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Everybody in the mainstream media's like,
954
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000
"Herschel's this terrible person."
955
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
I think they got it all wrong.
956
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
He's playing chess. Everybody else
957
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
is playing checkers.
958
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000
Tonight, we'll find out who
959
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000
Herschel Greenbaum really is
960
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000
from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum.
961
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond
962
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
to those who have called your belief system abhorrent?
963
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000
I would tell these people
964
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,000
I do not understand what this word means.
965
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:12,000
So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech
966
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000
you don't understand restrictions.
967
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000
I am saying I do not understand
968
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000
what is happening.
969
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000
I do not understand...
970
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000
what is happening...
971
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
with this whole thing.
972
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
What is happening
973
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000
with this whole thing?
974
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:35,000
With our culture, our country, our way of life?
975
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000
This is a question Herschel Greenbaum
976
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,000
for better or worse, is determined to ask.
977
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
What is happening?
978
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
What is happening right now?
979
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000
I really wish somebody would tell me
980
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000
what is happening.
981
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Indeed.
982
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Herschel, you have captivated the imagination,
983
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,000
the hearts and minds of the entire world
984
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,000
with your passion and your truth.
985
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle.
986
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
We will.
987
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000
Okay, be that as it may
988
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,000
your stance on gender roles is so regressive
989
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,000
that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude.
990
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve.
991
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000
She has little hands for serving things to people
992
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000
in very nice, graceful way.
993
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Women have nipples to serve milk to people.
994
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,000
Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies.
995
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,000
In other words, serve babies out of hole in body.
996
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Yeah. Yeah!
997
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,000
Woman like serve! Yes!
998
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,000
Incredibly offensive.
999
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,000
-Someone is menses. -No.
1000
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000
That debate is certainly settled.
1001
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000
Let's throw it to the audience for questions.
1002
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000
You, sir.
1003
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you.
1004
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
What an honor.
1005
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Honor to be here.
1006
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000
I was wondering how you felt about the taxes
1007
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,000
that are crushing small businesses.
1008
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000
I'm glad you ask.
1009
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000
You tax Herschel, Herschel will do
1010
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000
violence to you.
1011
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Yes, terrible violence!
1012
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000
Miss.
1013
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,000
Herschel, have you considered running for office?
1014
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000
I would like office.
1015
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,000
I would like big office.
1016
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,000
I would like biggest office in America!
1017
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000
Huge office!
1018
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,000
Oh, how about you? In the back.
1019
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see.
1020
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000
Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you.
1021
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,000
I was wondering what your thoughts are
1022
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,000
on Christian prayer in public schools.
1023
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Yes, thank you.
1024
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,000
Oh, simple question. Easy to answer.
1025
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000
I don't think I'm saying anything controversial
1026
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:29,000
when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother
1027
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,000
was prostitute.
1028
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000
-And she invent story
1029
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000
of Christianity
1030
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000
to cover up fact that she prostitute.
1031
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000
So if you believe in Jesus,
1032
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,000
you are stupid idiot.
1033
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,000
You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you!
1034
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
We interrupt your
1035
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
regularly scheduled program
1036
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,000
to bring you this special report.
1037
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000
Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant
1038
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000
who captured America's hearts and minds
1039
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000
has fallen hard from grace.
1040
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000
The public outcry against his bigotry
1041
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,000
is spreading throughout the country.
1042
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000
He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right.
1043
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000
And that's not all.
1044
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000
Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation.
1045
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000
Due to an outdated filing system
1046
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000
at the Ellis Island storage facility,
1047
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000
his paperwork cannot be located.
1048
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,000
Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked.
1049
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:34,000
If you have information about the whereabouts
1050
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,000
of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum,
1051
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000
please call the tip hotline below.
1052
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,000
I just feel bad for this guy at this point.
1053
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000
Look, I don't see how Herschel
1054
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000
can come back from this one, folks.
1055
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world.
1056
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
His life is in ruins.
1057
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
And the only person he has to blame for all of it,
1058
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
I'm sorry,
1059
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,000
is Herschel Greenbaum.
1060
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000
The hell?
1061
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,000
Dude.
1062
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000
Dude!
1063
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Stop!
1064
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing?
1065
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000
These Christians, they try to kill me.
1066
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,000
They're not trying to kill you, Herschel.
1067
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk.
1068
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,000
Is worse! I never go back to Schlupsk.
1069
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000
Everything me and Sarah sacrificed
1070
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,000
to come here is for nothing.
1071
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000
Well, I don't know what to tell you, man.
1072
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000
I can't do anything for you.
1073
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000
There is something.
1074
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000
You must smuggle Herschel away from American authorities.
1075
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000
What?
1076
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,000
I have accepted I have new fate.
1077
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000
I will move to Canada,
1078
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,000
become icicle man.
1079
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,000
I will trade beaver for fire.
1080
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
It's not ideal. But this is what must happen.
1081
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000
I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you
1082
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,000
and that everyone's turned on you
1083
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000
because you've said truly despicable things.
1084
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000
But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again
1085
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000
to help you.
1086
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Is not help.
1087
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,000
Is trade.
1088
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000
"Trade"?
1089
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,000
I know you do not like Herschel.
1090
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000
I know you think your life better
1091
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000
before Herschel.
1092
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,000
You take me to Canada,
1093
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000
you never have to see me again.
1094
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,000
All right.
1095
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints.
1096
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,000
Just walk from here.
1097
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000
This will work.
1098
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,000
Very good.
1099
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,000
We stay warm together.
1100
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000
Thank you.
1101
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000
There's the border.
1102
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000
We made it.
1103
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000
Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here.
1104
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Come on. Here, come on, come on.
1105
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
This way, this way.
1106
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000
Stop. Stop!
1107
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,000
Looks like they're just taking a break or something.
1108
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,000
So we'll just chill here till they're gone.
1109
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000
You do not mind?
1110
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000
No, I don't mind.
1111
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000
-Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk?
1112
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000
-Forest.
1113
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,000
-What's the difference? -Wolves.
1114
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,000
Oh, wow.
1115
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:10,000
Sarah loved to chase wolf.
1116
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,000
She would club them with stick,
1117
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000
hit them with rock, kill them.
1118
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,000
Very good time.
1119
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,000
She sounds pretty amazing.
1120
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,000
I wish I could have met her.
1121
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,000
Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't.
1122
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000
Why you say this?
1123
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000
I'm probably not, like,
1124
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000
the best-case scenario for what the family's become.
1125
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:33,000
She probably wouldn't be too psyched to,
1126
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,000
you know, to see who I am.
1127
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,000
Not so sure.
1128
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,000
Perhaps once I live in Canada,
1129
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000
you come to visit Herschel.
1130
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,000
You know, maybe--
1131
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
-Maybe you don't have to go to Canada.
1132
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
-What do you mean?
1133
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000
I mean, now that I think about it,
1134
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:05,000
you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options.
1135
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000
You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest
1136
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000
of your life.
1137
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000
We'll fix this, and in the meantime,
1138
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000
you can stay with me. We'll figure it out.
1139
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,000
You do not want this.
1140
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,000
What do you mean?
1141
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000
You try to get rid of Herschel.
1142
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,000
Take Herschel to middle of wilderness
1143
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,000
to take Herschel to Canada.
1144
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000
You hate Herschel.
1145
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,000
I'm just gonna tell you this, man.
1146
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000
I'm the one who called the Health Department on you.
1147
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,000
I got you shut down. That was me.
1148
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,000
And that's not all I did.
1149
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,000
I told you to go on Twitter,
1150
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000
knowing you would say despicable things.
1151
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000
You always do.
1152
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
And I did that to sabotage your business.
1153
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000
Is this it?
1154
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,000
No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you,
1155
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000
I attended the debate you were having.
1156
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,000
I went to the back row and I disguised my voice
1157
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,000
and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school.
1158
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,000
I knew exactly what you were gonna say.
1159
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,000
I'm so sorry, Herschel.
1160
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.
1161
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,000
I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me?
1162
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000
-Wait. -You are traitor
1163
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000
to your family!
1164
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,000
You are not Jew!
1165
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,000
Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there!
1166
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,000
232, requesting backup.
1167
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,000
Where'd he go?
1168
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000
I think it's that pickle guy from the news.
1169
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000
Come on.
1170
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000
Herschel Greenbaum!
1171
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000
We know you're out there.
1172
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000
Where is this guy?
1173
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Hello there, dudes.
1174
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,000
Who are you?
1175
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000
I am Ben Greenbaum.
1176
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Where's Herschel Greenbaum?
1177
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Herschel is back there.
1178
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000
You better get him before he escapes.
1179
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000
I'm on it.
1180
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,000
-All right. You're free to go. -Found him!
1181
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Thanks.
1182
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,000
All right, get up.
1183
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,000
All right, we got him.
1184
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000
We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum.
1185
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000
-You have the right to remain silent.
1186
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000
What?
1187
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000
Anything you say can and will be used against you
1188
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000
in a court of law.
1189
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,000
And now, breaking news.
1190
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000
This is Susan O'Malley standing inside the Manhattan Federal
1191
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000
Courthouse
1192
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000
for what has been labeled one of the most bizarre trials
1193
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000
of the century.
1194
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed
1195
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,000
a persona non grata on American soil.
1196
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000
His deportation trial got off to a strange start
1197
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:01,000
as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense,
1198
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000
that Herschel Greenbaum was not,
1199
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,000
in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum.
1200
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:09,000
This is Ben Greenbaum.
1201
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000
This is Herschel
1202
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,000
who switched places with him because as you can see
1203
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:18,000
Herschel Greenbaum has a beard
1204
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,000
whereas my client, Ben, has no beard.
1205
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,000
I object, Your Honor.
1206
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000
What precedent are we setting here?
1207
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:28,000
That the defendant isn't actually the defendant?
1208
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:32,000
Well, then, maybe Charles Manson
1209
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:36,000
wasn't actually Charles Manson.
1210
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000
Let me try something really fast.
1211
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,000
So I'm me, I'm me, the guy you know.
1212
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000
Is this a new guy?
1213
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:48,000
With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case.
1214
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Granted.
1215
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000
Court adjourned.
1216
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000
Herschel was quickly put on a ship
1217
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000
back to Eastern Europe
1218
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000
returning to his home country of Schlupsk.
1219
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,000
And with that, America can finally rest easy.
1220
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,000
The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum
1221
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:07,000
will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again.
1222
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,000
Back to you, Jim.
1223
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000
Oh, Sarah.
1224
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,000
"Boop. Bop."
1225
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,000
Excuse me, do you speak English?
1226
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000
No?
1227
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,000
Excuse me. Hi.
1228
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:35,000
Do you guys speak English? No? No?
1229
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,000
Thank you. Thank you.
1230
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,000
Hello.
1231
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000
Excuse me?
1232
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,000
Excuse me, hi.
1233
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000
I need help. I'm very cold.
1234
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Do you know where maybe they'll help me?
1235
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000
Do you know where I could go for some help?
1236
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000
Thank you.
1237
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000
I only speak English. I'm sorry.
1238
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,000
You are Jew?
1239
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,000
Yeah.
1240
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,000
We are need ten Jew men for make minyan
1241
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,000
for Kaddish.
1242
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,000
Prayer for dead.
1243
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,000
I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry--
1244
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,000
Is fine!
1245
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,000
Amen.
1246
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,000
Amen.
1247
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Are you okay?
1248
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,000
Yeah, I've...
1249
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000
I've lost some people.
1250
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,000
Who?
1251
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,000
My parents.
1252
01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:58,000
Hello.
1253
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,000
Is Herschel.
1254
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,000
Yeah, I figured that out.
1255
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:13,000
Alexa tell me how to fly here.
1256
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:19,000
I am truly sorry for doing violence to you.
1257
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,000
And getting you deported to Schlupsk.
1258
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,000
I was wrong.
1259
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,000
It's okay.
1260
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,000
Is not okay.
1261
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,000
I was wrong about you.
1262
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:54,000
I thought you did not care about family.
1263
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,000
But now I see with your Boop Bops,
1264
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:59,000
you were just trying to honor family.
1265
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,000
This is why you do not sell Boop Bops
1266
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,000
and you sit alone all day.
1267
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,000
Not because you are coward.
1268
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,000
You not sell Boop Bops
1269
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:12,000
because you are afraid to let down family.
1270
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:14,000
But you do not.
1271
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,000
I never met mother or father,
1272
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,000
but they would be proud.
1273
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:23,000
Sarah would be proud.
1274
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,000
I am very proud.
1275
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,000
You make my vow come true.
1276
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,000
You are everything I hoped family would become.
1277
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,000
Thank you.
1278
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,000
Thank you.
1279
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,000
All right. Come.
1280
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,000
I would like to show you some place.
1281
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000
This place is really nice.
1282
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000
I really get it.
1283
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,000
It's very special place.
1284
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,000
This was Sarah's favorite place.
1285
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000
She had good taste.
1286
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,000
She would be very happy to know you see this place.
1287
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:09,000
I'm glad I got to see it.
1288
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,000
You know, I had an idea the other day.
1289
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,000
What? What is idea?
1290
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,000
Promise not to laugh?
1291
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,000
I promise.
1292
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:22,000
Okay, so people love your pickles.
1293
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000
-They do. It's true. -Can't get enough of 'em.
1294
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:27,000
It's the brine. It make people go crazy.
1295
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,000
And, you know, I'm good with the internet,
1296
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,000
good at building websites, things like that.
1297
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000
So I thought maybe I can build a website,
1298
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,000
we sell your pickles to people all around the world.
1299
01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,000
Family business.
1300
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,000
Yeah. Family business.
1301
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,000
You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days.
1302
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000
You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries.
1303
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:47,000
They pickle fruit these days?
1304
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,000
Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot?
1305
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,000
Wait till you hear what they're pickling.
1306
01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,000
Just when I think I figure it out,
1307
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,000
you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, "Oof!"
1308
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,000
It's a crazy world out there, man.
1309
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000
Many people still hate Herschel very much.
1310
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,000
That is true.
1311
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000
I say many terrible things. And if one thing true
1312
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000
in America,
1313
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,000
once you say terrible things, you will never be success.
1314
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,000
That is not true. At all.
1315
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,000
Oh, that's great news.
1316
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,000
Still, we should make some apologies.
1317
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:17,000
All I know is that whatever we do next,
1318
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000
we should do it together.
1319
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,000
Together?
1320
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,000
Yeah.
1321
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,000
Together.
1322
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,000
Do you wanna pray?
1323
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,000
You do not mind?
1324
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000
I don't mind.
1325
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,000
Amen.
1326
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,000
Amen.
1327
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,000
I like her very much.
1328
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,000
-Barbra Streisand? -Yes.
1329
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:26,000
This her name? Barbra Streisand.
1330
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,000
-Babs. -Babs.
1331
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,000
-She very pretty. -Oh, yeah.
1332
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,000
She is Jew.
1333
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:32,000
Oh, yes.
1334
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,000
She is a Jew.
1335
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,000
Very much Jew.
1336
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,000
Very attractive trait,
1337
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,000
dress like boy to go to yeshiva.
1338
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,000
I've always said that.
1339
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,000
She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy.
1340
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,000
But little Jew woman underneath there.
1341
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,000
I like this film very much.
1342
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,000
You're really coloring it in a new way.
1343
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,000
It's very naughty.
1344
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,000
It is super naughty the way you describe it. Yeah.
1345
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:58,000
She is married. -She is.
1346
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One day.
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