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1
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Feel the sun on our face;
2
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:15,452
smell the air.
3
00:00:16,837 --> 00:00:17,657
You know--
4
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,562
if Salmoneus had to
send for us,
5
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:21,836
he could have picked a worse
place than this to meet.
6
00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:23,520
Yeah, it's nice.
7
00:00:23,653 --> 00:00:25,076
It wasn't always like this.
8
00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:27,767
See that wreck up
on the rocks?
9
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:30,632
It looks like the remains
of a warship.
10
00:00:30,924 --> 00:00:32,754
One of dozens that
attacked this beach in
11
00:00:32,779 --> 00:00:35,317
a battle so bloody,
the sand was soaked red.
12
00:00:36,392 --> 00:00:37,394
Thanks for sharing.
13
00:00:38,266 --> 00:00:39,247
When was it?
14
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:42,984
Uh-- it's been almost a year,
now, since the peace was signed.
15
00:00:43,263 --> 00:00:45,724
Ah-- that's plenty of
time for things
16
00:00:45,749 --> 00:00:47,528
to return to being
safe and normal.
17
00:00:52,423 --> 00:00:53,718
Are you all right?
18
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:55,156
Uh, yeah, I think so.
19
00:00:56,102 --> 00:00:57,481
Where did this come from?
20
00:00:57,506 --> 00:00:58,923
The same place as that one.
21
00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:01,354
They're so deep.
22
00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:06,155
Hey, look! Hah!
Clams! Oh, yes.
23
00:01:06,429 --> 00:01:07,577
There's lots of 'em, too.
24
00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:09,085
I know what I'm
having for dinner.
25
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,241
What do you think
made these ruts?
26
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,969
Only one thing I know
makes tracks that deep
27
00:01:16,939 --> 00:01:18,997
a fully-armed war wagon.
28
00:01:18,997 --> 00:01:20,263
A war wagon?
29
00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:21,747
What would it be doing here?
30
00:01:21,772 --> 00:01:23,100
I thought you said
it was peaceful.
31
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,229
Come back, girls!
32
00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:33,789
How 'bout a little kiss?
33
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,700
What's your hurry?
34
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:45,718
Grab her!
35
00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:05,452
Hey, get away
from those girls!
36
00:02:05,717 --> 00:02:07,475
And stay away!
37
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,189
It's ruined!
38
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,725
Is everybody OK?
39
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,560
- Yes.
- 'Cause frankly I was worried.
40
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,914
These costumes were not designed
to take this kind of abuse.
41
00:02:17,079 --> 00:02:18,139
Costumes?
42
00:02:18,258 --> 00:02:19,890
Just wait till I tell my sponsor.
43
00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:22,508
Don't forget to tell him who saved
you a man of surprising courage;
44
00:02:22,681 --> 00:02:25,039
deceptive strength;
and ingenious skill;
45
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:27,678
and is not above accepting
financial remuneration!
46
00:02:27,703 --> 00:02:28,906
Thanks for nothing!
47
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:33,884
Xena!
48
00:02:33,909 --> 00:02:35,390
I was just talking about you
49
00:02:35,643 --> 00:02:36,444
sort of.
50
00:02:36,469 --> 00:02:37,682
Beauty contest?
51
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,206
You sent urgent
word for us to come
52
00:02:40,206 --> 00:02:41,413
and see some underdressed,
53
00:02:41,413 --> 00:02:43,998
over-developed bimbos
in a beauty contest?
54
00:02:44,117 --> 00:02:45,386
Pageant--
it's called a pageant.
55
00:02:45,386 --> 00:02:46,618
Contest, pageant.
56
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:49,690
It's a feeble excuse for men
to exploit and degrade women.
57
00:02:51,365 --> 00:02:52,825
Wrong as usual,
Miss Sunshine.
58
00:02:52,850 --> 00:02:54,783
Since when do we
ever need an excuse?
59
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,043
Besides, it's more like
combat than contest.
60
00:02:57,324 --> 00:02:58,559
And it had such potential--
61
00:02:58,591 --> 00:02:59,929
when Lord Claron proposed
it as a way to
62
00:02:59,954 --> 00:03:01,824
celebrate a year of peace!
63
00:03:02,337 --> 00:03:03,762
Merchandizing,
local franchises,
64
00:03:03,787 --> 00:03:04,709
off-runway betting--
65
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:06,866
Wake me when you get
to the urgent part.
66
00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:11,943
Remember the leaders who,
67
00:03:11,943 --> 00:03:13,662
wrote that treaty
here about a year ago?
68
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,872
The Doge of Messini,
the Regent of Skyros,
69
00:03:16,872 --> 00:03:18,043
and the Palatine of Parnassus?
70
00:03:18,043 --> 00:03:19,035
Well spoken.
71
00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:21,258
See, they each entered their
girlfriends in the pageant,
72
00:03:21,258 --> 00:03:22,970
and since then, we've
had nothing but trouble--
73
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:24,174
Wrecked costumes,
ripped props,
74
00:03:24,199 --> 00:03:25,884
and now this business
on the beach!
75
00:03:25,909 --> 00:03:28,432
Sounds like someone's trying
to wage a war by proxy.
76
00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:30,496
That would explain all
the war wagon tracks.
77
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,217
And that's why I
sent urgent word.
78
00:03:33,734 --> 00:03:34,925
If you don't help to keep
things on the level,
79
00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:37,060
each leader is going blame
the other, and soon,
80
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,423
we're all buying headstones.
81
00:03:38,423 --> 00:03:39,806
Yeah, probably from you.
82
00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:41,903
Now, why don't you just
cancel the pageant?
83
00:03:42,785 --> 00:03:44,699
Lord Claron's tried that!
84
00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,231
Each of these guys is
so invested in winning,
85
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:47,692
nobody wants to quit first!
86
00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:49,406
The way I see it--
What we need, see--
87
00:03:49,431 --> 00:03:53,293
is a contestant to keep an eye
on things-- from the inside.
88
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:54,699
Oh, no, no, no.
89
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:55,746
Don't even look at me.
90
00:03:56,088 --> 00:03:57,494
Now you know how
I feel about these
91
00:03:57,519 --> 00:03:59,530
women being victimized
by meat markets.
92
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,623
She's right.
93
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,622
But war makes everyone a victim
94
00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:10,686
so-- meet Miss Amphipolis.
95
00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:23,672
In a time of ancient gods...
96
00:04:26,019 --> 00:04:27,532
... warlords...
97
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,064
... and kings...
98
00:04:29,132 --> 00:04:32,633
A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...
99
00:04:41,838 --> 00:04:43,671
She was Xena...
100
00:04:44,344 --> 00:04:48,140
a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...
101
00:04:52,512 --> 00:04:53,694
... The power...
102
00:04:55,536 --> 00:04:56,700
... The passion...
103
00:05:00,109 --> 00:05:01,287
... The danger...
104
00:05:06,812 --> 00:05:09,381
Her courage will
change the world...
105
00:05:10,405 --> 00:05:13,905
Here She Comes...
Miss Amphipolis
106
00:05:32,488 --> 00:05:33,314
Now, remember--
107
00:05:33,339 --> 00:05:35,275
if anybody asks,
you're Miss Amphipolis,
108
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,894
and you're her sponsor,
the Marquesa--
109
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,815
- What?
- What about the contest itself?
110
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:39,681
Here's the deal.
111
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,418
Each girl competes in
three events to win.
112
00:05:41,443 --> 00:05:42,610
Miss one event,
whatever the reason,
113
00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:44,127
you're out of the pageant.
You can't get back in.
114
00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:45,628
One miss, you're gone--
Understand?
115
00:05:57,342 --> 00:05:58,138
Excuse me.
116
00:05:58,163 --> 00:06:01,635
Watch it, clod-- or,
can't you see from up there?
117
00:06:09,671 --> 00:06:11,499
Excuse, me.
Miss Messini?
118
00:06:11,499 --> 00:06:12,678
Sorry to interrupt.
119
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,738
I want to introduce you
to our newest contestant,
120
00:06:14,763 --> 00:06:16,371
Miss Amphipolis,
121
00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:18,881
and her sponsor,
the Marquesa.
122
00:06:20,787 --> 00:06:22,551
Ladies, this is Miss Messini,
123
00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:25,037
sponsored by the Doge of Messini.
124
00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:26,110
Hello.
125
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,864
It's good to meet you.
126
00:06:28,602 --> 00:06:31,321
Oh, don't let us keep
you from your--
127
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,736
You saved my life.
128
00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:51,017
Did you see that?
129
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:52,527
He saved my life.
130
00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:55,386
Yes, yes, I did, yes.
131
00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:56,542
It was nothing.
132
00:06:56,628 --> 00:06:57,453
Nothing?
133
00:06:57,453 --> 00:06:59,620
I wouldn't call that
arrow nothing.
134
00:07:00,342 --> 00:07:01,576
And I don't think my
sponsor will either,
135
00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:02,939
once he finds out about it.
136
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:13,942
Talk about a close call.
137
00:07:15,231 --> 00:07:16,149
If Miss Messini
had been skewered,
138
00:07:16,149 --> 00:07:17,718
the Doge would've blamed
the other two.
139
00:07:17,743 --> 00:07:18,570
I would've lost both the peace
140
00:07:18,595 --> 00:07:19,982
and my shirt in
one fell swoop.
141
00:07:20,264 --> 00:07:21,889
Your concern is so touching.
142
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:24,600
Look-- as long as we can keep
the contest fair,
143
00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:26,791
while we find out who's
doing this, we'll be fine.
144
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,946
OK-- Salmoneus,
you find me a disguise,
145
00:07:28,971 --> 00:07:30,683
while you get to know
the other sponsors.
146
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:31,594
Got it.
147
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,330
We'll meet back here
after the first event.
148
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:44,386
Matron of the
pageant, coming in.
149
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:47,127
Oh, there's no
time for modesty.
150
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:49,605
I've got ten more of you
wannabes to see before--
151
00:07:50,824 --> 00:07:52,347
Here, what's this?
152
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,339
What?
153
00:07:53,784 --> 00:07:54,848
Aren't you?
154
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:56,645
Yes, I'm sure you are.
155
00:07:58,140 --> 00:07:59,070
What?
156
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,722
You're wearing
the robe inside-out.
157
00:08:04,331 --> 00:08:07,104
Oh, why the gods waste
beauty on girls like you,
158
00:08:07,129 --> 00:08:08,525
I'll never know.
159
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,782
If I had half your looks,
I'd rule the world.
160
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:13,496
Look, I'm sorry about the robe--
161
00:08:13,496 --> 00:08:15,235
I was just so totally
thrilled to be here, that--
162
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,614
Oh, save it for the judges--
163
00:08:16,639 --> 00:08:17,965
I'm on a schedule.
164
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:23,866
That arrow nearly killed her!
165
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,421
And why?
166
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:28,517
'Cause one of you wants to stop
me from winning, that's why.
167
00:08:29,031 --> 00:08:30,234
It's an insult!
168
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,857
Please-- We don't know for
a fact that anything--
169
00:08:31,882 --> 00:08:32,927
What about me?!
170
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,598
My girl was assaulted on the beach
171
00:08:34,623 --> 00:08:37,155
by thugs one of you hired to
try and stop me from winning!
172
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:38,682
It's a slur on my honor.
173
00:08:38,707 --> 00:08:41,058
As I said, nothing's been
proven about anyone. So I--
174
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:42,504
Will you listen to yourselves?
175
00:08:43,488 --> 00:08:44,911
Hissing and moaning,
176
00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:45,983
when it's clear--
177
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,766
my girl is gonna win this one.
178
00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,399
Is this a private bash,
179
00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:56,868
or can-- any sponsor join?
180
00:08:57,383 --> 00:08:59,344
- You're a sponsor?
- That's right.
181
00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:01,424
I am called-- the Marquesa.
182
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:03,336
And from what I just hear,
183
00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:06,734
I am a lot better sponsor
than any of you.
184
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:09,834
Your contestant
is nearly killed,
185
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,856
and it's you who's insulted.
186
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,559
Get a life!
187
00:09:13,742 --> 00:09:16,512
And yours is attacked,
but it's your disgrace?
188
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:18,611
Give me a break.
189
00:09:19,281 --> 00:09:21,165
And I suppose
if yours gets hurt,
190
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:22,971
it'd be about you, too.
191
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:26,355
Well, all I can say to
you three is--
192
00:09:29,053 --> 00:09:30,443
Clear the runway,
193
00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:32,504
'cause my contestant is going to
194
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:35,294
wipe the floor with all of you.
195
00:09:35,863 --> 00:09:37,711
And just who is your contestant?
196
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,880
Her name's Miss Amphipolis.
197
00:09:40,183 --> 00:09:42,285
Oh, her being sponsored
by a woman.
198
00:09:42,951 --> 00:09:45,719
I'll say. You wouldn't think a woman
would put you through all this,
199
00:09:45,744 --> 00:09:47,293
just to win some silly contest.
200
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,361
I just keep focused
on the extra food
201
00:09:49,386 --> 00:09:50,901
my village will get if I win.
202
00:09:51,406 --> 00:09:52,783
The Palatine promised.
203
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:55,902
Well-- nobody twisted
my arm to be here.
204
00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:59,713
I'm gonna use this thing to get
as far away from here as possible.
205
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,201
And all I can say is,
206
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,668
Miss Amphipolis better
not get in my way.
207
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,209
Thanks for the warning.
208
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,667
I'll have to keep that in mind.
209
00:10:09,232 --> 00:10:10,201
Do that.
210
00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:12,548
I gotta go.
211
00:10:12,573 --> 00:10:14,253
Too much steam might
turn all pruney.
212
00:10:14,278 --> 00:10:15,559
Yeah, me too.
213
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,685
Besides, it's nearly time
for the first event.
214
00:10:23,644 --> 00:10:25,897
Sounds like this pageant
means a lot to you, huh?
215
00:10:25,897 --> 00:10:26,861
No--
216
00:10:27,405 --> 00:10:28,855
but winning it does.
217
00:10:29,025 --> 00:10:32,127
And you can bet--
I'll do whatever it takes.
218
00:10:40,955 --> 00:10:42,798
Was it something I said? Hmm.
219
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:17,713
Xena. It's about time,
keeping us all waiting!
220
00:11:19,354 --> 00:11:20,768
- Where is she?
- She's not back?
221
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:22,439
- No!
- Ha-ha. You know--
222
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,965
if she misses this,
she's out of the pageant--
223
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,478
No ifs, ands, or buts.
224
00:11:25,495 --> 00:11:28,359
Gone, finito, out!
225
00:11:28,359 --> 00:11:29,671
I know that.
226
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,633
So do those warlords.
227
00:11:32,243 --> 00:11:33,955
You should've seen the
way they acted-- like,
228
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:35,619
this-- this contest was
all about them and
229
00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:36,816
how great they are.
230
00:11:37,251 --> 00:11:39,649
And I'm telling you,
they'll do anything to win.
231
00:11:39,674 --> 00:11:40,848
That's unusually
perceptive of you.
232
00:11:40,873 --> 00:11:42,572
The question is,
which one is it?
233
00:11:42,597 --> 00:11:44,753
- I wish I knew.
- I wish I could stay.
234
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:45,987
But I've got a show to emcee.
235
00:11:46,012 --> 00:11:47,356
If Xena gets back,
get her dressed
236
00:11:47,381 --> 00:11:48,963
and down to the stage fast.
237
00:11:48,988 --> 00:11:50,840
If she doesn't stay in to
keep this thing on the level,
238
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,978
we're all goners--
bye-bye!
239
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:07,527
Come on everybody!
240
00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:09,670
Give it up for
Miss Artifice, huh?
241
00:12:12,969 --> 00:12:14,726
Come on, a big hand
for Miss Artifice--
242
00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:15,784
come on!
243
00:12:22,018 --> 00:12:24,065
Let's hear it for all
our contestants!
244
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:32,950
And now, it gives me great
245
00:12:32,975 --> 00:12:36,544
pleasure to present to
you our last contestant,
246
00:12:36,765 --> 00:12:38,936
Miss Amphipolis!
247
00:13:44,182 --> 00:13:49,932
Xena? Is that really you?
Brilliant disguise.
248
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:51,744
Sorry--
249
00:13:52,174 --> 00:13:54,165
What happened?
You were almost disqualified.
250
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,897
Which is exactly what
somebody wanted.
251
00:13:56,949 --> 00:13:59,163
Did she tell you that she was
locked in the steam room?
252
00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:00,757
Someone tried to sauté you?
253
00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:02,279
Yes--
254
00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:04,700
and I think I know who.
255
00:14:11,753 --> 00:14:13,151
Looking for this?
256
00:14:18,284 --> 00:14:20,026
Now, I want some
straight answers.
257
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:21,528
Have you got
the wrong girl!
258
00:14:22,379 --> 00:14:24,005
OK, OK, I was just kidding.
259
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,280
Where's your
sense of humor?
260
00:14:25,305 --> 00:14:27,174
Gee, I guess I must
have sweated it out.
261
00:14:27,353 --> 00:14:28,797
Is that your
idea of funny, too?
262
00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:30,598
I was just trying
to scare you.
263
00:14:30,847 --> 00:14:32,089
Why'd you want to scare me?
264
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:33,733
Because I knew you knew.
265
00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:35,096
You know, about me.
266
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:36,856
And I didn't want
you to tell anyone.
267
00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:37,908
But when I came
back to unlock
268
00:14:37,933 --> 00:14:39,300
the door, you had
already gone.
269
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,490
What made you
think I'd tell?
270
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,628
You really don't get it, do you?
271
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,540
I guess being born
a woman, you wouldn't.
272
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,395
This is a chance to use
a part of me most
273
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,850
people usually laugh at--
274
00:14:51,452 --> 00:14:52,451
or worse.
275
00:14:53,189 --> 00:14:54,643
The part I usually
have to hide--
276
00:14:55,226 --> 00:14:58,143
only here that part
works for me-- you see?
277
00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:00,672
I think so.
278
00:15:01,054 --> 00:15:02,796
Look-- I don't expect
you to understand.
279
00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:04,461
And I'm sorry
I got you steamed.
280
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,610
I just hope you let me
quit the pageant in
281
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:08,274
private instead of
going public with it.
282
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:09,741
No way.
283
00:15:12,131 --> 00:15:13,795
May the best person win.
284
00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:17,859
What else can I do?
285
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:20,029
We've always been neutral,
even during the war.
286
00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:21,976
That's why there's
no army to call out--
287
00:15:22,174 --> 00:15:24,049
Just some reserves,
and I'm using all I've got.
288
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:26,077
Then you'd better draft more,
289
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:28,189
or I'll be forced to
bring in my own men.
290
00:15:28,214 --> 00:15:30,139
If he brings in
his men, so do I.
291
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,193
And I.
292
00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,942
Will you listen to yourselves.
293
00:15:34,314 --> 00:15:36,540
Now, how do you think
the contestants
294
00:15:36,565 --> 00:15:38,865
feel under all
this pressure?
295
00:15:39,408 --> 00:15:40,331
Who cares?
296
00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:41,751
As long as mine wins.
297
00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:43,948
I told mine, I don't
care if she wins--
298
00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:46,613
I just don't want her to lose.
299
00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,122
Very understanding.
300
00:15:48,461 --> 00:15:49,813
Why, what'd you tell yours?
301
00:15:51,103 --> 00:15:53,537
I do not tell her anything.
302
00:15:53,761 --> 00:15:57,620
We are a team.
I ask.
303
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:00,326
Yeah, right!
304
00:16:01,471 --> 00:16:02,958
One more incident--
305
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,710
I'm bringing in my troops.
306
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:06,898
That makes two of us.
307
00:16:08,296 --> 00:16:10,517
I'll send out a call for
more volunteers--
308
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:14,530
Marquesa.
309
00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:15,874
Yes?
310
00:16:15,899 --> 00:16:17,194
That asking stuff--
311
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:19,031
that works for you?
312
00:16:19,251 --> 00:16:20,462
Every time.
313
00:16:27,775 --> 00:16:31,096
Remember--
a beauty pageant is like a war.
314
00:16:31,812 --> 00:16:34,656
To win, you've gotta be fired
with the heat of competition!
315
00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:38,207
The power!
The passion!
316
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,422
The desire to win.
317
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,949
Gabrielle, we're
not here to win.
318
00:16:44,017 --> 00:16:45,392
We're here to stop a war.
319
00:16:45,983 --> 00:16:46,968
Yeah sure--
320
00:16:46,993 --> 00:16:48,364
but there's no
harm in winning--
321
00:16:48,371 --> 00:16:49,347
right?
322
00:16:49,347 --> 00:16:50,527
Follow your moves,
323
00:16:50,949 --> 00:16:52,105
keep it warm,
324
00:16:52,389 --> 00:16:55,389
and whatever happens,
try to stay upright.
325
00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:59,790
OK, let's hit it!
A-one, two, three.
326
00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:09,966
♪ Like soft gentle winds that
will blow through your hair; ♪
327
00:17:10,211 --> 00:17:14,649
♪ Like fire that warms you
when no one else cares; ♪
328
00:17:14,736 --> 00:17:18,992
♪ Like flowers that bloom from
the Earth in the spring; ♪
329
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:23,802
♪ A woman's a natural thing. ♪
330
00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:26,647
Ow! Watch it!
331
00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:30,891
♪ Like flora and fauna
that brighten your day; ♪
332
00:17:31,495 --> 00:17:36,143
♪ Like water we drink, and
the sea where we play; ♪
333
00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:41,401
♪ Like dragonflies riding
the air on their wings; ♪
334
00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:44,337
♪ A woman's a natural thing. ♪
335
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,132
♪ 'So give thanks
and give praise ♪
336
00:17:46,157 --> 00:17:47,432
♪ to the gods for their bounty. ♪
337
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:49,025
♪ And thanks to Athena ♪
338
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,441
♪ from city and county. ♪
339
00:17:50,472 --> 00:17:53,610
♪ But most of all honor
the goddess, Demeter, ♪
340
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:57,430
♪ With flowers and songs and
with crops that will feed her. ♪
341
00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:04,055
♪ To her we will lift up our
cups as we say-ay-- ♪
342
00:18:04,378 --> 00:18:15,199
♪ A woman's a natural thing--
Yeah! ♪
343
00:18:17,278 --> 00:18:21,161
OK, take five. I'll work with
you slowly in small groups.
344
00:18:26,678 --> 00:18:28,211
You move very well.
345
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:29,642
Thanks.
346
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,911
You look familiar.
Have we met before?
347
00:18:31,959 --> 00:18:33,701
I'm sure I would've remembered.
348
00:18:33,962 --> 00:18:35,960
Well, then, allow me
to introduce myself.
349
00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:37,798
I'm the Palatine of Parnassus.
350
00:18:38,528 --> 00:18:40,114
Miss Amphipolis.
351
00:18:47,238 --> 00:18:49,299
You keep your greasy
lips off my arm--
352
00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:51,730
and apologize.
353
00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:53,613
I'm sorry.
354
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:55,952
Not to me--
355
00:18:56,608 --> 00:18:57,671
to her.
356
00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:07,463
We're not done,
you and me--
357
00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:09,349
not by a long shot.
358
00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:19,773
Next, we have Miss Skyros.
359
00:19:20,384 --> 00:19:22,918
As cool as the marble her
country is known for,
360
00:19:22,918 --> 00:19:24,994
Miss Skyros' hobbies
include music,
361
00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:28,730
exotic dancing,
and sacrificing to the gods.
362
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,090
Her favorite deity--
363
00:19:30,115 --> 00:19:31,506
Aphrodite!
364
00:19:31,531 --> 00:19:33,870
Let's hear it for
Miss Skyros, everybody.
365
00:19:40,688 --> 00:19:41,557
Next up,
366
00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,990
we have Miss Amphipolis.
367
00:19:44,491 --> 00:19:46,129
A country girl at heart,
368
00:19:46,391 --> 00:19:48,407
she enjoys the
simple things in life--
369
00:19:48,794 --> 00:19:51,398
weaving tapestries,
making candles,
370
00:19:51,614 --> 00:19:55,098
and doing volunteer work
with her local Hestian virgins.
371
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,197
Put 'em together for the
phenomenal Miss Amphipolis.
372
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,351
Wait! That woman!
373
00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:08,708
She's not a contestant!
374
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,389
That's Xena, Warrior Princess!
375
00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:19,717
She's a hired mercenary!
376
00:20:20,062 --> 00:20:21,312
It's a breech of the peace!
377
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,719
This means war! Arrest her!
378
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:24,858
Arrest the Warrior Princess!
379
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,969
Right. Take her away.
380
00:20:26,515 --> 00:20:28,282
Honey, I'm no princess--
381
00:20:31,875 --> 00:20:33,516
I'm a Queen.
382
00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:43,414
Actually, folks, this lanky
beauty is our last contestant,
383
00:20:43,439 --> 00:20:44,625
Miss Artifice,
384
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:48,067
whose hobbies include
archery, horse-breeding,
385
00:20:48,092 --> 00:20:49,423
and knowing the complete score
386
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,143
to every musical ever written.
387
00:20:51,435 --> 00:20:53,998
Put 'em together for
Miss Artifice, everybody.
388
00:21:06,745 --> 00:21:07,848
Thank you.
389
00:21:08,882 --> 00:21:10,971
People, people--
Please, please.
390
00:21:11,455 --> 00:21:13,955
I have the preliminary
decision right here.
391
00:21:16,178 --> 00:21:17,300
Ladies,
392
00:21:17,772 --> 00:21:19,005
when I read out your names,
393
00:21:19,006 --> 00:21:21,264
will you please step forward.
394
00:21:21,527 --> 00:21:22,543
Here they are.
395
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,159
The five semi-finalists
for the crown
396
00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:27,198
of Miss Known World:
397
00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:30,120
Miss Messini.
398
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,664
Miss Skyros.
399
00:21:58,430 --> 00:22:00,800
Miss Parnassus.
400
00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:13,839
Miss Artifice.
401
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:25,025
And last, but not least--
402
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,050
Miss Amphipolis.
403
00:22:35,079 --> 00:22:38,564
Yes! Brilliant!
You go girl!
404
00:22:39,213 --> 00:22:40,991
Miss A all the way!
405
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:43,573
There they are--
406
00:22:43,888 --> 00:22:46,930
the five semifinalists
for the title of
407
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,177
Miss Known World!
408
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:53,918
Yes! Yes, come on, yes!
409
00:22:59,597 --> 00:23:01,094
I'm happy for you.
410
00:23:07,402 --> 00:23:08,480
How did you--
411
00:23:10,206 --> 00:23:11,425
Why?
412
00:23:11,450 --> 00:23:13,213
I guess we both
got our secrets.
413
00:23:13,869 --> 00:23:15,302
Thanks for keeping mine.
414
00:23:18,682 --> 00:23:20,814
Now, don't forget to come
back for our final round--
415
00:23:20,839 --> 00:23:22,823
the talent competition.
416
00:23:26,786 --> 00:23:28,747
I don't understand
why you won't sing.
417
00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:31,349
You would be a
shoe-in if you did.
418
00:23:31,374 --> 00:23:33,135
Gabrielle, I've told you before--
419
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,219
I sing when I'm moved--
420
00:23:34,244 --> 00:23:35,652
when there's something behind it.
421
00:23:35,677 --> 00:23:37,237
It's not about performance.
422
00:23:37,262 --> 00:23:40,237
As a bard and a fellow creative
artist, I can understand that.
423
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,706
Which, just leaves
us one question--
424
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:44,793
What can you do?
425
00:23:45,779 --> 00:23:46,915
I don't know.
426
00:23:47,299 --> 00:23:50,464
Finding out who's sabotaging
things would be a great start.
427
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,810
Next time they strike,
someone could get killed.
428
00:23:52,941 --> 00:23:53,996
Yeah-- you.
429
00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:57,298
Whoever is doing this wants to
get to those warlord beauties.
430
00:23:57,298 --> 00:23:59,967
And how better to do it,
than to just, you know, you!
431
00:24:01,612 --> 00:24:03,283
You just gave me a great idea.
432
00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:04,894
About how to catch
whoever's doing this?
433
00:24:05,118 --> 00:24:07,627
No-- about what
to do for my talent.
434
00:24:13,081 --> 00:24:14,326
What are you doing here?
435
00:24:15,477 --> 00:24:18,640
That is, I thought you'd be
rehearsing for the talent event.
436
00:24:19,729 --> 00:24:21,868
And aren't you supposed
to be at the meeting?
437
00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:25,489
What meeting?
438
00:24:25,869 --> 00:24:28,027
I was made to look like a fool!
439
00:24:28,956 --> 00:24:30,636
A fairly simple task.
440
00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:31,970
You should talk.
441
00:24:34,303 --> 00:24:35,845
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
442
00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:38,643
please-- This is not
solving the problem.
443
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:39,736
He is right--
444
00:24:40,470 --> 00:24:43,090
this stunt Miss Artifice
pulled only show
445
00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:45,248
how on edge things are.
446
00:24:45,273 --> 00:24:47,099
It was a joke, for Zeus' sake.
447
00:24:47,455 --> 00:24:50,236
It is nothing to call
the troops in for.
448
00:24:50,236 --> 00:24:51,334
Maybe not--
449
00:24:51,692 --> 00:24:53,965
but what about everything else
our girls have been through?
450
00:24:54,940 --> 00:24:57,432
At least, most of our girls.
451
00:24:58,161 --> 00:24:59,750
Can I help it if mine's lucky.
452
00:25:00,246 --> 00:25:02,180
I'm beginning to think
maybe you can.
453
00:25:02,808 --> 00:25:03,871
Yeah--
454
00:25:04,816 --> 00:25:07,261
funny how nothing's happened
to your contestant--
455
00:25:08,223 --> 00:25:09,141
yet.
456
00:25:10,939 --> 00:25:12,602
She gets so much
as a hang-nail--
457
00:25:13,264 --> 00:25:14,891
I won't wait for the judges.
458
00:25:15,092 --> 00:25:16,550
I'll make my own declaration--
459
00:25:17,076 --> 00:25:18,183
and it'll be war.
460
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:20,870
Well, that goes double for me.
461
00:25:23,786 --> 00:25:25,669
I'm gonna go and
beef up stage security.
462
00:25:27,302 --> 00:25:28,654
Look what you do!
463
00:25:28,915 --> 00:25:29,707
Me?
464
00:25:29,732 --> 00:25:32,165
Yes-- frightening
Miss Skyros like this.
465
00:25:32,382 --> 00:25:33,582
What is it with you three?
466
00:25:33,607 --> 00:25:35,374
Always threats, ultimatums.
467
00:25:35,872 --> 00:25:39,475
You are here to celebrate
the peace and work together.
468
00:25:39,775 --> 00:25:41,661
Now, just shut up and do it!
469
00:25:44,572 --> 00:25:45,960
This is sabotage!
470
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,322
Gabrielle, it's just a bad dress.
471
00:25:48,347 --> 00:25:50,594
Bad dress-- Xena,
chiffon is bad,
472
00:25:50,594 --> 00:25:53,060
chartreuse is bad,
but this is a disaster.
473
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:55,204
You will be eliminated
halfway down the catwalk.
474
00:25:55,229 --> 00:25:56,135
Calm down!
475
00:25:56,884 --> 00:26:00,665
Look-- if it really
bothers you, I'll fix it.
476
00:26:08,949 --> 00:26:10,485
It's-- getting better.
477
00:26:13,958 --> 00:26:15,597
You're pretty good
with a knife--
478
00:26:19,699 --> 00:26:21,208
for a contestant, that is.
479
00:26:22,575 --> 00:26:24,919
Well-- I have many skills.
480
00:26:44,941 --> 00:26:48,942
Well-- it's not Sophocles,
but it'll have to do.
481
00:26:54,039 --> 00:26:55,289
Miss Messini?
482
00:26:57,843 --> 00:26:58,919
What happened?
483
00:26:59,830 --> 00:27:01,110
Nothing, I'm fine.
484
00:27:01,693 --> 00:27:03,018
Really, just a little
something in my eye.
485
00:27:03,043 --> 00:27:04,097
That's all.
486
00:27:05,607 --> 00:27:07,389
I guess we're all kind
of keyed up, you know?
487
00:27:07,389 --> 00:27:09,616
Wondering about who's gonna
win the pageant and all, huh?
488
00:27:10,098 --> 00:27:11,067
No--
489
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:15,115
I think it's a crock.
490
00:27:15,413 --> 00:27:16,468
You do?
491
00:27:18,147 --> 00:27:20,890
We all do-- except for you.
492
00:27:21,679 --> 00:27:23,117
But then, you're not
from around here.
493
00:27:24,461 --> 00:27:26,813
You can't know how stupid
something like this seems,
494
00:27:26,838 --> 00:27:28,216
when you've been
through a war where
495
00:27:28,241 --> 00:27:29,810
it was a fight
just to survive.
496
00:27:30,271 --> 00:27:32,928
Well, if that's how you all feel,
then why are you here?
497
00:27:34,605 --> 00:27:35,818
Different reasons--
498
00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:40,340
Miss Parnassus made a deal.
499
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,924
If she wins, the Palatine will give
500
00:27:43,924 --> 00:27:46,229
her village extra food
for this coming winter.
501
00:27:46,961 --> 00:27:48,227
Or Miss Skyros--
502
00:27:48,748 --> 00:27:50,286
the war was so terrible--
503
00:27:52,126 --> 00:27:53,235
and the memories.
504
00:27:56,534 --> 00:27:58,986
She wants to get away, so
she's using this pageant to do it.
505
00:27:59,861 --> 00:28:01,986
And you?
Why'd you enter?
506
00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:03,833
I didn't.
507
00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:06,200
My boyf--
508
00:28:07,036 --> 00:28:08,487
my sponsor entered me.
509
00:28:10,075 --> 00:28:11,511
I guess I could've said no--
510
00:28:14,082 --> 00:28:15,891
but it just seemed to
mean so much to him that
511
00:28:15,891 --> 00:28:17,502
I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
512
00:28:17,716 --> 00:28:19,274
What about your feelings--
513
00:28:20,001 --> 00:28:21,206
Don't they count?
514
00:28:22,510 --> 00:28:23,885
They never have before.
515
00:28:28,191 --> 00:28:29,425
I mean, he loves me--
516
00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:33,317
but he's so hung up on
the way I look, you know?
517
00:28:34,486 --> 00:28:37,713
That it's hard for him to see
past that to the person underneath.
518
00:28:41,332 --> 00:28:43,609
But, then I guess a lot of
people make that mistake--
519
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,192
don't you?
520
00:28:48,542 --> 00:28:49,832
I know they do--
521
00:28:51,218 --> 00:28:52,960
but you can change that.
522
00:28:53,411 --> 00:28:55,312
Tell him how you feel.
You're entitled.
523
00:28:59,275 --> 00:29:00,330
You think so?
524
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:02,417
I know so--
525
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:05,587
So should you.
526
00:29:51,034 --> 00:29:52,640
What am I doing in there?
527
00:29:52,665 --> 00:29:54,798
Don't know. I can't see any--
528
00:30:01,169 --> 00:30:03,106
Well-- good luck.
529
00:30:04,203 --> 00:30:05,577
I make my own luck.
530
00:30:06,401 --> 00:30:08,807
Then you don't need a pageant
to change it, do you?
531
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:14,121
There you are.
532
00:30:14,485 --> 00:30:15,845
They've pushed up
the talent event.
533
00:30:15,870 --> 00:30:16,822
It's already started.
534
00:30:16,847 --> 00:30:17,675
Come on.
535
00:30:26,045 --> 00:30:26,881
Yes!
536
00:30:33,062 --> 00:30:34,542
Thank you, Miss Messini,
537
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:36,354
for that lovely rendition of--
538
00:30:37,764 --> 00:30:40,182
whatever that song
you just played was.
539
00:30:40,207 --> 00:30:42,378
Miss Messini, everybody!
540
00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:49,889
And now, Miss Artifice!
541
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:04,235
Any trouble so far?
542
00:31:04,235 --> 00:31:05,488
Nothing a hook wouldn't solve.
543
00:31:05,488 --> 00:31:06,847
If you mean danger, not yet.
544
00:31:07,317 --> 00:31:08,299
Maybe we scared
off the people
545
00:31:08,324 --> 00:31:09,723
who were trying
to get the girls.
546
00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:10,919
Maybe
547
00:31:10,919 --> 00:31:13,368
but my fear is, they'll switch
to targeting warlords.
548
00:31:13,393 --> 00:31:14,213
Wait!
549
00:31:25,035 --> 00:31:28,896
Now! We have an act that's
sure to be a real charmer
550
00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:30,726
Miss Skyros!
551
00:31:52,628 --> 00:31:54,074
Why the rush on this event?
552
00:31:54,074 --> 00:31:55,507
Don't ask me-- Ask him.
553
00:31:55,507 --> 00:31:56,968
He's the one who ordered it.
554
00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:42,705
Thank you.
555
00:32:46,461 --> 00:32:49,329
Ta-da! Ta-da!
556
00:33:03,792 --> 00:33:05,609
What does she think
she's doing, huh?
557
00:33:06,352 --> 00:33:07,585
She certainly picked a fine time
558
00:33:07,610 --> 00:33:08,750
to go touring
around the castle.
559
00:33:08,775 --> 00:33:10,243
Doesn't she know it's
dangerous out there?
560
00:33:10,268 --> 00:33:11,205
She'll be fine.
561
00:33:22,372 --> 00:33:25,048
Now, the good news is that
she's a cinch to win, and then
562
00:33:25,073 --> 00:33:26,596
this is over, and
we're home free.
563
00:33:26,621 --> 00:33:28,285
Yeah-- unless something
happens to her.
564
00:33:28,310 --> 00:33:29,735
Then we're not so home free.
565
00:33:32,550 --> 00:33:33,853
No one else knows
she's at the castle
566
00:33:33,853 --> 00:33:35,104
it's perfectly safe.
567
00:33:35,129 --> 00:33:36,526
Now, just don't worry.
568
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:52,023
Miss Amphipolis.
569
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:53,887
I'm Lord Claron.
570
00:33:55,279 --> 00:33:56,420
Congratulations.
571
00:33:56,782 --> 00:33:58,268
I'd stake my life that
the judges will
572
00:33:58,293 --> 00:33:59,639
choose you as the winner.
573
00:34:00,579 --> 00:34:02,077
Well, that's very
kind of you to say.
574
00:34:02,077 --> 00:34:03,045
Not at all.
575
00:34:03,231 --> 00:34:05,618
In fact-- kindness has
nothing to do with it.
576
00:34:06,750 --> 00:34:08,764
I said that I'd stake
my life, where in fact
577
00:34:09,252 --> 00:34:10,329
I'm staking yours.
578
00:34:10,512 --> 00:34:11,540
What are you doing?
579
00:34:12,245 --> 00:34:13,327
You wouldn't understand.
580
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:14,651
You weren't here for the war,
581
00:34:14,651 --> 00:34:16,940
when our neutrality
made this country rich.
582
00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:19,371
You made a profit out of
death and suffering?
583
00:34:19,396 --> 00:34:21,192
Let's just say we
filled a need.
584
00:34:21,337 --> 00:34:22,401
And then the peace came
585
00:34:22,426 --> 00:34:23,629
and the good times were gone.
586
00:34:23,654 --> 00:34:25,506
That's why we need another war
587
00:34:25,838 --> 00:34:27,709
to bring back the prosperity.
588
00:34:28,688 --> 00:34:30,688
And that's why you have to die.
589
00:34:32,052 --> 00:34:34,302
So you're the one who's
sabotaging this pageant?
590
00:34:35,424 --> 00:34:37,206
Can you think of a better
way to get these fools to
591
00:34:37,231 --> 00:34:39,722
fight again without
arousing suspicion?
592
00:34:40,594 --> 00:34:42,293
As a matter of fact, I can't.
593
00:34:43,431 --> 00:34:45,564
But, why don't we ask
the fools themselves?
594
00:34:50,804 --> 00:34:52,553
But, how did you--?
595
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:54,055
-- know it was you?
596
00:34:54,673 --> 00:34:57,305
Only the guy who rigged it could
have looked up at that beam.
597
00:34:57,330 --> 00:34:59,207
And as for the security
you were adding
598
00:34:59,401 --> 00:35:01,600
well, there wasn't
a guard in sight.
599
00:35:03,411 --> 00:35:04,778
You surprise me--
600
00:35:05,911 --> 00:35:07,192
I had no idea that a
601
00:35:07,535 --> 00:35:09,035
beauty contestant could be
602
00:35:09,466 --> 00:35:13,131
more than the sum of her
well-assembled parts.
603
00:35:14,177 --> 00:35:15,435
Neither did I.
604
00:35:16,816 --> 00:35:19,443
Now, be smart and
maybe I won't have to--
605
00:35:20,192 --> 00:35:21,863
disassemble you, hmm?
606
00:35:23,083 --> 00:35:24,102
Trust me
607
00:35:24,942 --> 00:35:26,333
you don't wanna make me angry.
608
00:35:27,575 --> 00:35:28,864
On the contrary
609
00:35:29,963 --> 00:35:31,530
I'm looking forward to it.
610
00:35:32,456 --> 00:35:33,352
OK.
611
00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:38,556
Are we having fun yet?
612
00:35:54,346 --> 00:35:56,045
Don't hate me 'cause
I'm beautiful.
613
00:36:02,525 --> 00:36:03,366
Xena!
614
00:36:04,370 --> 00:36:06,050
Xena! Xena! Xena!
615
00:36:07,908 --> 00:36:09,550
I mean Miss Amphipolis.
616
00:36:10,338 --> 00:36:11,566
It's all right, Gabrielle
617
00:36:12,443 --> 00:36:14,296
I think we all know
who's who now.
618
00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:15,429
Not quite
619
00:36:15,531 --> 00:36:16,887
the judges have voted
620
00:36:17,299 --> 00:36:19,153
and they're ready to
crown a winner.
621
00:36:28,460 --> 00:36:30,846
I have here the final results of
622
00:36:30,846 --> 00:36:33,823
the first Miss Known World Pageant.
623
00:36:34,026 --> 00:36:34,958
Now, if for any reason,
624
00:36:34,983 --> 00:36:37,116
the winner is unable
to perform her duties
625
00:36:37,437 --> 00:36:39,140
like, she isn't here!
626
00:36:39,577 --> 00:36:41,823
Then the crown will
go to the first runner-up,
627
00:36:41,964 --> 00:36:43,541
and so on down the line.
628
00:36:44,263 --> 00:36:45,572
Is that understood?
629
00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:46,842
Perfectly.
630
00:36:47,795 --> 00:36:48,694
Xena!
631
00:36:49,281 --> 00:36:50,823
What have you done
with Miss Amphipolis?!
632
00:36:51,568 --> 00:36:53,244
She's withdrawn
from the pageant.
633
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:54,253
What? Why?
634
00:36:54,604 --> 00:36:57,174
She told me to say that she's
learned a lot from all of you
635
00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,749
but it's time that she moved on.
636
00:37:00,143 --> 00:37:01,545
B-b-b-but-- she can't!
637
00:37:01,570 --> 00:37:02,944
I have the ballot right here!
638
00:37:03,219 --> 00:37:04,515
And, uh-- uh-oh!
639
00:37:04,540 --> 00:37:05,805
She won! See?!
640
00:37:05,830 --> 00:37:06,897
She can't quit now.
641
00:37:06,922 --> 00:37:08,107
She just did.
642
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,502
Right.
643
00:37:10,677 --> 00:37:13,569
That means the winner
will be our first runner-up,
644
00:37:13,594 --> 00:37:14,766
and that is--
645
00:37:14,791 --> 00:37:15,648
Wait!
646
00:37:17,566 --> 00:37:18,933
I quit, too.
647
00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:19,872
What?!
648
00:37:20,705 --> 00:37:21,606
That's right.
649
00:37:22,125 --> 00:37:23,562
I thought I needed
this crown to get away
650
00:37:23,562 --> 00:37:25,345
from a lot of bad luck.
651
00:37:27,235 --> 00:37:28,480
It turns out all I need
652
00:37:28,831 --> 00:37:29,845
is myself
653
00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:33,909
and, maybe someone
to remind me of that
654
00:37:34,227 --> 00:37:35,362
once in a while.
655
00:37:40,854 --> 00:37:43,446
OK, moving on down the line.
656
00:37:44,146 --> 00:37:46,243
I see that our winner is--
657
00:37:46,268 --> 00:37:47,181
Wait!
658
00:37:48,478 --> 00:37:49,705
Me too--
659
00:37:50,915 --> 00:37:52,147
I quit, too.
660
00:37:52,172 --> 00:37:53,463
What is this, catching?
661
00:37:53,945 --> 00:37:55,642
You heard her
she wants to quit.
662
00:37:55,667 --> 00:37:56,868
You got a problem with that?
663
00:37:57,137 --> 00:37:58,887
No, sir-- uh-uh!
664
00:37:59,186 --> 00:38:00,561
Especially because,
665
00:38:00,592 --> 00:38:03,771
I think we have
a winner right here.
666
00:38:03,796 --> 00:38:05,062
Then think again.
667
00:38:06,645 --> 00:38:07,817
We had a deal!
668
00:38:08,463 --> 00:38:10,410
You put yourself before
your family, your village?
669
00:38:10,435 --> 00:38:11,496
You'll let them starve?
670
00:38:11,521 --> 00:38:13,287
No, I won't let them starve.
671
00:38:13,758 --> 00:38:16,209
I'll help them plant, and--
and plow, and harvest,
672
00:38:16,209 --> 00:38:17,912
with all my strength,
year after year,
673
00:38:17,912 --> 00:38:19,081
until we get through this.
674
00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:21,177
But to give away my pride
675
00:38:21,202 --> 00:38:24,231
and my dignity,
for one winter's food?
676
00:38:25,071 --> 00:38:26,181
Where's the good in that?
677
00:38:27,790 --> 00:38:28,782
She has a point
678
00:38:28,807 --> 00:38:29,779
which means
679
00:38:29,804 --> 00:38:31,468
that our winner is
680
00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:35,365
Miss Artifice!
681
00:38:39,209 --> 00:38:40,146
Thank you.
682
00:38:40,541 --> 00:38:41,939
You really saved my assets.
683
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,194
You are something else.
684
00:38:45,530 --> 00:38:46,904
You have no idea.
685
00:38:49,196 --> 00:38:50,313
Ladies and gentlemen,
686
00:38:50,743 --> 00:38:51,656
may I present to you,
687
00:38:51,656 --> 00:38:53,827
on her inaugural
walk down our runway,
688
00:38:53,860 --> 00:38:56,271
your Miss Known World
689
00:38:58,883 --> 00:39:02,024
♪ Stand back,
and let her through. ♪
690
00:39:02,817 --> 00:39:05,840
♪ She's the one
girl who'll do. ♪
691
00:39:06,591 --> 00:39:08,179
♪ A beauty so mythic, ♪
692
00:39:08,648 --> 00:39:10,810
♪ Her figure's terrific. ♪
693
00:39:11,039 --> 00:39:15,290
♪ She's Miss Known World. ♪
694
00:39:15,290 --> 00:39:19,533
♪ With a face and
a form so sublime, ♪
695
00:39:19,914 --> 00:39:23,461
♪ She's a legend within
her own time. ♪
696
00:39:24,111 --> 00:39:26,321
♪ So stand back, make way, ♪
697
00:39:26,870 --> 00:39:30,056
♪ Let her smile make your day. ♪
698
00:39:30,507 --> 00:39:37,252
♪ She's Miss Known World. ♪
699
00:40:13,265 --> 00:40:15,209
So, Miss Known World is a man?
700
00:40:15,234 --> 00:40:16,167
Yep.
701
00:40:16,367 --> 00:40:17,603
It's kind of funny, huh?
702
00:40:17,643 --> 00:40:19,510
Why? Beauty is beauty.
703
00:40:19,535 --> 00:40:20,893
And peace is peace.
704
00:40:21,259 --> 00:40:22,659
Are you going to
write about this?
705
00:40:22,659 --> 00:40:23,659
Oh, yes.
706
00:40:24,253 --> 00:40:25,824
I was thinking
about calling it,
707
00:40:25,849 --> 00:40:27,387
- 'Queen for a--'
- Gabrielle!
708
00:40:27,412 --> 00:40:29,123
- What a drag!
- Gabrielle!
709
00:40:29,148 --> 00:40:31,425
OK, OK. OK, OK.
49115
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