Original subtitles

(OMI READING)

Water!

Fire!

Wind!

Earth!

Wood!

(YELLING)

Chase should be deep in the zone

of his 49-day lunar lock-down meditation.

He cannot stop me now.

(WOLF HOWLING)

(SNIFFING)

At last, the elixir of power!

Ah, I can smell the power!

Now,

make me mighty!

(GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

This is not meant for the likes of you.

You have taken my past and my powers

and I want them back!

(LAUGHING)

Yes, in due course, my child.

An inter-dimensional rift is about to occur,

where great forces of light and darkness will face off.

I will need all my power to control it.

My revenge on Xiaolin is finally here!

(IN MOCKING TONE) "My revenge on Xiaolin."

Who cares?

What about my evil needs?

Big girls do big things!

(SHADOW SCREAMING)

No doubt.

(HISSING)

Go do them now.

(YELLING)

WUYA: La, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la

La, la

You're acting weird.

Fess up!

Are you cooking up an evil stew?

Oh, you wouldn't be interested.

It's a girl thing.

I can do girl thing. Try me!

Well...

There is a role for you to play, dear Jack.

(WHISPERING)

(GIGGLING)

OMI: Today is my day!

The annual temple talent show! Goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie!

-Yoo-hoo. -Great.

Can't wait for the usual Xiaolin hootenanny.

Maybe I'll have beginners' luck.

Your beginners' luck will begin with me!

I will be the record-breaking 5-time winner Xiaolin talent victor!

You know, Omi, you take this talent show thing way too seriously.

(SCREAMING)

Talent show thing?

It is a competition!

A battle for supremacy!

The victor is crowned. The loser is a loser!

KIMIKO: I rest my case.

(CHEWING)

You really don't think it's too pushy to invite myself to enter, do you?

I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise.

Why, you're frenemies!

It's perfect for you to compete!

Besides, your greatest talent is messing up!

You're poised to win!

Thanks?

Hey, do you have a talent you're gonna show?

Oh, yes.

My talent is finding some very special Shen Gong Wus.

(CACKLING)

(BLEATING)

Hey!

Give me that!

(GRUNTING)

Whoa, quite moving.

It was like I was a child again!

Needs more goats. Next!

(CLEARING THROAT) This is my monologue from A Streetcar Named Desire,

with Chase Young as Stella.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Stella...

(GRUNTING)

Oh, what a kick you got, girl!

It was like I was a child again!

Oh, it knocked me out!

Next!

Nothing up my sleeve.

I reach into the hat...

And pull out...

A...

Oh, I don't know what to say.

It was like I was a child again!

I'd say it was magical.

Not! Next.

Whoa, I am so going to win again!

(TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Prepare to witness real magic!

It is my flaming hoopy-loopy dance!

Yippee!

Whoopee!

Yeah!

Amazing!

Oh, I was a child again!

And it' not just because he paid me.

Not.

JACK: Wow, fantastic.

But you haven't seen my act yet.

Jack Spicer.

I will show you an act!

You came to the wrong place to rumble, Spicer.

But I'm not here to fight!

I'm here to showcase my talent.

Your talent is being evil.

We know. You lose. You may go now.

But I have a hidden talent.

You gotta let me show you.

-No, no! Don't... -My eyes, my eyes!

ALL: Huh?

Please let me try!

We are frenemies, remember?

Whoa! (GRUNTING)

And I brought a gift for you, Omi, my greatest frenemy warrior.

A bowtie for me?

Sure, you may compete!

He will not win anyway.

(ALL SNICKERING)

Thank you. Thank you! (GIGGLING)

(SINGING BADLY) Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb, little lamb

Mary had a little lamb

Whose fleece was white as snow

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

I win, I win!

Ahem! Brother Omi, I am up next.

You? It is to laugh! Why even try?

I have three tens, my teeny-weeny brother.

(GRUNTING)

This is my rendition of

In the Good Old Summertime.

(IN LOW VOICE) In the good old summertime

In the good old summertime

Strolling through the shady lanes with your baby mine

You hold her hand and she holds yours

And that's a very good sign

That she's your tootsie-wootsie

In the good old summertime

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

-That was awesome, Ping Pong! -All right, little dude!

OMI: But... But... But...

I cannot lose!

(GRUNTING)

I am Omi. No last name. Omi!

-I do not lose! -(ALL GASPING)

Well, you lost that one, buckaroo. Fair and square.

No!

I want a rematch!

I have always looked up to you, Brother Omi,

the very best of Xiaolin warriors.

Why can you not be happy for me to win a silly talent contest?

(SNARLING) It is not silly!

I am the four-time reigning champion! I cannot lose!

Look, Omi, just congratulate Ping Pong and try harder next year.

Congratulate?

Never!

(GROWLING)

Omi's acting like a possum with a severe sinus condition.

And that ain't good.

(PING PONG CRYING)

Huh?

Hello, Wuya?

You did well, Jack.

Really? You liked my performance?

I can't believe I'm saying it, but bravo!

Oh, yeah. He totally fell for it.

(WHISTLING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

Ugh. Cannot lose. It is unthinkable!

-(WHISTLING) -Gah! Doesn't he wash his hands?

Oh, oh! He's heading for the Shen Gong Wu vault!

WUYA: Good! Get that combo, Jack-o!

JACK: One right, two left,

3.14159265 right. Got it!

While the monks sleep, you must go get my very special Wu.

Yah! I have been vibrated!

I think you mean "violated," dude.

I am shaking with anger,

so I think "vibrated" is a better word.

Seems that the Bracelet of Purple Heart is the only Wu missing.

I wonder what's going on with that.

And how could a thief know the combination?

Are you jealous, Ping Pong?

Looking at my highly-coveted winner bowtie?

Huh? (GASPS)

Wireless camera?

Well, that low-down varmint Jack Spicer.

I shoulda known.

No. I should have known.

Not only did I lose the talent contest,

but I allowed Jack Spicer to trick me into stealing the Bracelet of Purple Heart.

Maybe I am not the winner I think I am anymore.

Just one thing, guys.

Why didn't Jack take all the Wus?

JACK: So, what do you want with this particular Wu?

I mean, there were lots more there for the taking.

Sorry. A girl's gotta have her little secrets.

(GASPS)

The Backscratcher of Solidification Shen Gong Wu!

That is the other Wu I need.

Finally!

Tell me now, or I quit.

Well, you see,

The mystical combination of the Bracelet of Purple Heart

and the Backscratcher of Solidification

will give me my svelte physique back.

(CACKLING)

(HUMMING)

Oo-wee!

Mmm!

(BURPING)

Mmm-mmm!

We did it! We ate 100 wontons in 10 minutes! A new record!

(BELCHING)

Oh, my burned esophagus! Those things are hot.

(CLEARING THROAT)

RAIMUNDO: Hey, dude. Grab a seat.

You've got some wonton catching up to do.

Eat, eat, Brother Omi.

I am not here to catch up on wontons,

but to let you know I have resigned from being the greatest dragon warrior

in the world as we know it.

I shall spend time contemplating my navel,

and master a very different task,

underwater basket weaving using my toes only,

while blindfolded and blowing bubbles through my nose.

CLAY: Man, whatever floats your cow, buddy.

If you need to.

Yeah. Do what you think is right.

But I will no longer lead you.

-Got it. -Heard you the first time, dude.

-(GROANING) -(BONES CREAKING)

(SHRIEKING)

It feels like the Backscratcher of Solidification

Shen Gong Wu!

Omi! Wu-call! Get your butt in gear.

My butt is gearless. You may go without me.

Um, perhaps, maybe since I won the talent contest, maybe I should lead?

Suit your fancy, little buckaroo.

JACK: Physique? Are you talking about a body?

Back in the flesh, Jack!

No way!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

If you get a body, then what will I do for an incorporeal sidekick?

Sidekick? Sidekick?

(SHUDDERING)

Stop that! I have a very ticklish spleen.

Once I get my body back, I won't be able to do that.

Though I will be able to slap you silly.

But what's in it for me?

I'll make it worth your while.

Ooh! Promise?

I bet if you sang harmony, we'd win the talent contest next year for sure!

JACK: Mary had a little lamb little lamb, little lamb...

DOJO: Whoa! Check that out!

Wu coming up on the right!

Since I'm leading, does that mean I reorganize everything?

I have some fantastic ideas about changing our fighting styles,

not to mention our brand of bathroom tissue.

And so it begins.

CLAY: Whew. Looks like the Wu Coast is clear.

(WHIRRING)

Rob me of my talent show win, will ya?

Jack-Bots! Talentate them!

(WHIRRING)

Huh?

Bring it on! I'm itching for some butt-kicking.

(GRUNTING)

Sword of Lucida! Shoku Astro, wind!

(AIR WHOOSHING)

Oh, no, no, no! I didn't tell you to do that! I am the leader!

(GRUNTING)

Kanabi Star! Shoku Mars, fire!

Wait! I haven't told anyone what to do!

And there's no time. I'm landing this puppy.

(ALL GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

Okay, I've decided. Everyone battle. I'll get the Wu.

Gee, thanks. Like we weren't doing that already.

(GRUNTING)

Shoku Mars, fire!

(YELLING)

Fist of the Iron Bear! Shoku Jupiter, earth!

(RUMBLING)

(ZAPPING)

(RUMBLING)

(AIR WHOOSHING)

In the good, old summertime In the good, old summertime

No way you're gettin' that Wu! Or out-singing me!

JACK: Mary had a little lamb

-(GRUNTING) - Little lamb...

-(GRUNTING) - Little lamb...

(GROANING)

PING PONG: In the good, old summertime In the good, old summertime

(PANTING)

(STRAINING)

(SHRIEKING)

I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!

I wager my Orb of Torpedo.

Omi? What are you doing here?

I thought about it, and maybe I've been too selfish,

depriving the other monks of my amazing leadership abilities.

No worries. I am leading just fine.

Who cares? You're both losers.

I wager Jack's Wu, and plan to help Jack win this one.

(GIGGLING) Me? You like me, don't you?

So, is this, like, our first date?

(KIMIKO SCOFFING)

Well, this is gonna be more interesting than a pocketful of rabid weasels.

Fine! We play double. Our Orb against your...

Monkey Spear!

PING PONG: The game is Hop the Hoops!

Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Gong Yi Tan Pai!

(RUMBLING)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

I am the leader. I go first.

Let me show you how it is... (GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

PING PONG: It is not so easy being in charge.

Monkey Spear!

(MONKEYS SCREECHING)

(CHITTERING)

(GRUNTING)

M'lady, allow me. (GRUNTING)

Some people just don't know how to work together. Evil lady first.

OMI: Let us both lead each other out of trouble!

It will be like the blond leading the blond.

PING PONG: Ah, you mean the blind leading the blind. But, understood.

(GRUNTING)

PING PONG: Owies!

Orb of Torpedo!

Shoku Neptune, water!

(SCREAMING)

OMI: Ping Pong!

(SHRIEKING)

Um, ah, I am needing a little help, s'il vous plait.

Yeah! Help is on the way!

(GRUNTING)

Shoku Neptune, water!

Thank you, brother Omi!

Sometimes even a leader needs a little leading.

(JACK LAUGHING)

(CHITTERING) I can't believe how easy that was!

Can we go get ice cream afterwards?

Loser!

(GROANING) I thought we had a deal!

(SHRIEKING)

Evil girl's prerogative to change her mind.

(GRUNTING)

(SPIRITS CHITTERING)

Eat my dust, boys!

(SNORTING) Wow... Evil chicks, right?

Can't live with'em, can't stop'em from stealing your Wu.

I can take a hint.

I am sorry to have lost the Wu, brother Omi.

Um...

(CLEARING THROAT)

I have been acting unleaderlike to you.

So, congratulations on winning the talent contest, Ping Pong!

I vow to get you next year!

But at least we have our team back.

Come everyone. Follow me back to the temple!

Um, please?

-(PING PONG TITTERING) -Egg on your face, buckaroo!

DOJO: Is anyone hungry? I sure am! -Just yankin' your chain.

(SNORING)

Good night, Mommy.

You have the Wu Jack stole?

The Bracelet of Purple Heart and the Backscratcher of Solidification.

All's ready as I planned.

(LAUGHING) Hit me!

Rise, Wuya, in the flesh!

Backscratcher of Solidification, Bracelet of Purple Heart,

rise!

Yes! I can feel it! I can feel it!

Oh. At long last. I am whole again.

We have been underappreciated and overlooked.

It ends now.

From now on, there will be no Chase Young, Jack Spicer, Xiaolin or Heylin.

-Now it's all about... -BOTH: Girl Power!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0