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1
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:49,104
I don't know who you are,
but thanks. I'm goin' this way.
2
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,422
You're comin' with us.
3
00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:58,614
Calamity Jane.
4
00:02:58,638 --> 00:03:01,766
All right, boys, wait outside.
5
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,536
Jane, I'm Governor Johnson.
6
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,997
This is commissioner of Indian Affairs,
Mr. Emerson,
7
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,774
and his secretary,
Mr. Martin.
8
00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:13,671
I'll come right to the point.
9
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:14,755
We staged that jailbreak.
10
00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:17,156
We wanted it to look as if
your friends broke you out.
11
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:21,303
We have a job for you, Jane. A
job which requires absolute secrecy.
12
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,847
How about that point
you were comin' to?
13
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,601
A group of white renegades is
smuggling guns to the Indians.
14
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,269
We've got to find out
who they are
15
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,313
before we have
an Indian war on our hands.
16
00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:33,941
Six months ago we sent out
two of our best agents.
17
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,175
Their bodies were found
horribly mutilated.
18
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,945
We thought we'd send a woman...
19
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:41,305
A woman who can
take care of herself.
20
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,119
Like me, for instance?
21
00:03:44,143 --> 00:03:48,813
Yes, Jane. Like you. We
need your help desperately.
22
00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,512
What's the price tag on this?
23
00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:07,141
Jane,
you're facing a jail sentence of ten years.
24
00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:08,392
You get those men for us,
25
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,103
and we'll give you a
pardon... a full pardon.
26
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:16,275
Gentlemen, I'd like to go on record
as saying we can't trust this... this...
27
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,844
Criminal?
I think we can.
28
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,767
Here's proof of my confidence.
29
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,838
Well, that's mighty nice of you.
30
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,572
Reach.
31
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,013
Thanks for the drink, Governor.
32
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:47,139
Jane, outside that window,
there's no pardon.
33
00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:51,477
Unless you help us, the West will be
drenched with the blood of white settlers.
34
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:54,504
Thousands of lives.
Women and children.
35
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,717
You could stand
a little practice, son.
36
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:04,639
I'll take a look at that pardon.
37
00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:12,831
Keep talkin'.
38
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,041
You'll take the stage tonight.
39
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:17,211
At Fort Deerfield,
contact a lawyer named Jim Hunter.
40
00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:20,214
There's a wagon train
going west. You'll both join it.
41
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:21,132
Hunter will pose
as your husband.
42
00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:24,551
As man and wife, you'll be lost
in the crowd on that wagon train.
43
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,386
You'll get further
instructions from Hunter.
44
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,996
We're depending on you, Jane.
45
00:05:29,622 --> 00:05:31,350
I'm depending on you.
46
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:35,670
And I wouldn't advise you
to cross me up, gents.
47
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:42,903
So she finally agreed to go.
48
00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:47,533
She'll be traveling as a lady,
but she's a killer.
49
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:48,992
A dead shot.
50
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,119
I found that out.
We'll get her.
51
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:55,773
But get her when you're sure
she can't beat you to the draw.
52
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,825
Whoa.
53
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:32,018
Hey!
54
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,501
Mr. Hunter.
55
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,506
Mr. Hunter.
56
00:08:58,164 --> 00:08:59,683
Take a seat over there, deary.
57
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,418
There'll be one ready
in a minute.
58
00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:15,615
Now we'll take... If you
don't mind my telling you,
59
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,201
it's the one right
over... Please. No clues.
60
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,979
You'll spoil all the fun.
Pardon me.
61
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:27,502
"One can detect an ailing tooth by the dull
sound when it is struck lightly by a hammer."
62
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,004
Hmm. That seems logical.
63
00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:32,448
Well, here we go, please.
64
00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,054
Ah!
65
00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:40,599
Ah, that's it. There's
the little doll right there.
66
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,934
Now we'll take... Uh...
67
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,668
Stand by.
68
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,147
"After discovering
the ailing tooth,
69
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:49,232
drill away the decay."
70
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,109
Hmm.
71
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,319
Doesn't seem logical,
but I'm game.
72
00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:57,473
Well, now open. Open wide.
73
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,352
This won't hurt us a bit.
74
00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:04,915
Where'd you go?
75
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,501
Ah, steady now. Wide.
76
00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:10,879
Where's the guy who calls
himself a painless dentist?
77
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,298
Hey, I've got a tooth
that's killin' me.
78
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,467
Sit down. You're next.
79
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,535
I'll sit down.
80
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,373
That's what I say.
You're next.
81
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,393
That'll be $2.00, please.
Never mind the $2.00.
82
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,312
Thanks.
You're welcome.
83
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,648
Hey.
Hurry up!
84
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,424
Okay.
85
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,946
Open wide.
Ah!
86
00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:39,491
Yeah, that's
a happy little dungeon.
87
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:41,743
Mmm.
Mmm.
88
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,161
There's an echo in here.
89
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:46,039
Well,
now... Never mind about that.
90
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,541
When a tooth's no good, pull it.
91
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:51,235
Please, I'm the dentist.
I know what I'm doing.
92
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,241
You know, he's right.
93
00:10:57,575 --> 00:11:01,662
All right.
All right. Open wide. We...
94
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,349
Hey.
Oh. That's all right.
95
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:08,085
We'll get right
into the important stuff here.
96
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,231
Real wide now.
Get something...
97
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,399
I thought you
were gonna pull it.
98
00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:15,402
Well, I have to dig a
little toehold for the pliers.
99
00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,237
This won't hurt us at all.
Just...
100
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,905
Nnnnnnnn.
101
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,491
Please, no singing.
102
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,411
Oh. Got a tonsil.
I'm sorry.
103
00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:27,956
Ah!
104
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,332
Got hair on the inside too.
105
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,252
- There you are.
Nothing to it at all.
106
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:35,172
Now we're starting
to burn a little wood here.
107
00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:36,906
Steady now.
108
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,095
We're getting warm.
109
00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:45,891
There you are. There you are.
110
00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:48,667
Now, if you'll just...
111
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,769
Wha...
112
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,272
Would you mind moving
your tongue over a little?
113
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:56,300
I didn't think you were
that tough. Let's see here.
114
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,406
Don't swallow it. Don't swallow
it. Don't swallow it, please.
115
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:05,577
That's funny.
I have one just like it. I...
116
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:09,188
You hungry little thing, you.
117
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,959
Well, so that's what
Horace Greeley meant.
118
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:18,381
I'll be with you in a minute. You got
just the kind of mouth I'd like to work on.
119
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,883
Listen, weasel.
120
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,761
I came here to get a
tooth pulled. This one.
121
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,305
Oh! The one next to
the gold one. Savvy?
122
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,308
I know. We'll find it.
Don't worry about a thing.
123
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:29,851
We'll get to it sooner or later.
124
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,687
I'm a very sensitive man.
Don't hurt me.
125
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:33,813
All right, just relax.
126
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,273
What's that?
Oh, it's laughing gas.
127
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,400
That's why they
call me Painless Potter.
128
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,153
Is it safe?
Safest thing in the world.
129
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,529
Would you mind paying me now?
130
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,616
Come on! The one next
to the gold one. Okay.
131
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,952
Ah. That's good.
132
00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:49,019
There you are.
133
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,630
Is it coming through?
Yes.
134
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,365
Feel anything?
135
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:05,119
Must be a leak around here.
136
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:10,124
There you are.
137
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,485
Is it doing it to you?
138
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,695
Huh?
139
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,345
Bye-bye.
140
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,866
Come on, deary.
You're next.
141
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:04,345
What do you know.
I pulled the wrong tooth.
142
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:09,767
Got the one
with the nugget in it.
143
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,980
So you pulled the wrong tooth.
144
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:17,649
How about that?
145
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:23,113
I'm gonna give you just 15
minutes to get out of town.
146
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,451
Last town they
gave me 20 minutes.
147
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:44,968
That scooped-nose quack
pulled the wrong tooth.
148
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:56,146
She can't take a bath
with her guns on. Come on.
149
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:02,319
Will somebody
come in here and scrub my back!
150
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,863
Put it in number four, Bessie.
151
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:05,633
Oh!
152
00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:09,010
This is the ladies' side.
Come on. Get out of here.
153
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,077
Ooh!
154
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:32,683
You lookin' for someone?
155
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,746
Who did the shootin'?
156
00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:57,267
Who are they?
Never saw them before.
157
00:15:57,291 --> 00:16:00,186
They must be strangers.
Look out. Look out.
158
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,647
I wonder who did the shooting.
159
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,691
It's Lance.
He's still alive.
160
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:07,235
- Anybody got any whiskey?
- Dad's got some.
161
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:09,761
Yeah, here.
Lance.
162
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:15,743
Doc, get up. Get up! I must
be running out of customers.
163
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,538
I'm pulling my own teeth.
Oh, get up, Doc. Hurry.
164
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,166
There's shootin' upstairs. Huh?
165
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,209
Come on and do
something. Shootin'?
166
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,545
I'll do something, all right.
I'm clearing outta here.
167
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:30,758
I'm going back East where men may
not be men, but they're not corpses either.
168
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,826
I've had enough.
169
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,998
Don't give your right names.
170
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,309
Warm up, kids.
We're movin' again.
171
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,711
Federal agent...
172
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,880
joinin'...
173
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,965
wagon train.
174
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,492
Buffalo Flats.
175
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,253
Giddyap.
Get me out of this.
176
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,848
Yah!
177
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,837
Wait. I've been chased by women before,
but not while I was awake.
178
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:53,800
I'll take over now. Yeah, you drive a
while. Who wants to watch the road?
179
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:55,552
I'm gonna join that
wagon train. Come on!
180
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:59,847
Head 'em any way you like. What am I
sayin'? That's Indian country out there.
181
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,307
You're not afraid
of a few Indians, are you?
182
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:05,228
It's not the Indians I'm afraid of. It's
their attitude. They're hatchet happy.
183
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,689
I'm headin' back home.
Washington, D.C.
184
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,607
I'm gonna join that wagon train.
185
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,402
Yeah? You can't join 'em
without a wagon.
186
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:16,388
Make up your mind.
Are you going with me?
187
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:27,065
You got yourself
a travelin' companion.
188
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,777
Keep traveling.
189
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:40,370
Boy, can you kiss.
Ooh-ooh.
190
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:48,253
Sorry I had to do that, son,
but this is a big job.
191
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,440
There's a wagon train going west.
192
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:53,234
You'll both join it. Hunter
will pose as your husband.
193
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:56,094
It's not speed that
we're interested in. It's secrecy.
194
00:18:56,136 --> 00:19:01,058
As man and wife, you'll be lost
in the crowd on that wagon train.
195
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:23,848
You wouldn't let a girl go on a
wagon train alone, would you?
196
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:28,186
Painless, you're just the man
I've been hoping to meet.
197
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:32,899
Painless, there's something
about you that appeals to me.
198
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:37,094
Wake up, stupid.
I'm proposing to you.
199
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,931
I'm in love with you.
200
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:43,868
I said I'm in love with you.
201
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,520
And I wanna marry you.
202
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,249
What's going on?
203
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,586
Well, sure I'll marry you, dear.
204
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,088
Huh?
205
00:19:54,112 --> 00:19:56,923
I knew the moment
your lips touched mine
206
00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:59,384
that we were meant
for each other.
207
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,260
Oh, you did?
Uh-huh.
208
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:06,081
Let me hear you say it again.
Tell me you'll marry me.
209
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,017
Me?
210
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,894
Tell me you'll marry me.
211
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,548
Oh. The way you kiss,
how can I refuse?
212
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:20,846
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
213
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,890
The ring, please.
214
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:34,460
The wedding ring is a token of the
solemn vows you have just taken.
215
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:41,032
This ring is a symbol of your affection,
sincerity and fidelity.
216
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,368
Ah. At last.
217
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,353
And now the kiss.
218
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:14,900
Not me, you fool! Her!
219
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:45,114
Well, howdy, folks. Welcome. Uh,
what's your handle?
220
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,617
Potter Mr and Mrs painless
peter potter I'm Mister ..
221
00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:51,996
Glad to have you with us. Yeah,
just make yourselves to home, folks.
222
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,897
Oh, thank you.
223
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:59,736
I'll unhitch the horses
and then we can, uh, talk.
224
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:02,906
Well, I'll unhitch the horses.
225
00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:14,251
Come on.
Let's play hide-and-seek.
226
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,361
Hey, Jimmy, where are you?
227
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,220
Here I am!
228
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,931
Look.
229
00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:32,620
What are you tryin' to do,
blow yourself up?
230
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:33,871
You little...
Shut up!
231
00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:36,439
Go on, you kids.
Get out of here.
232
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,779
I told you to keep
that canvas lashed down tight.
233
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:48,034
It's a good thing
he didn't see it.
234
00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:49,679
Aha. Just as I thought.
235
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:52,330
That wisdom tooth
has got to come out.
236
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,433
He don't look like
no federal agent to me.
237
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:58,271
But that's the wagon that
left town right after the killin'.
238
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:01,131
I can see you 10:30, Tuesday.
239
00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:12,601
Painless.
240
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,830
That's my wife.
Filly to you.
241
00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:19,292
From now on I probably won't
have a minute to myself.
242
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:21,043
Painless!
Yes?
243
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:26,197
Oh, what are you doing to that
poor girl? You glorious beast.
244
00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:29,802
Yes, darling? Would you
loosen my stays a little, honey?
245
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:33,097
Well, it's not
my regular work, but I...
246
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:35,474
Maybe I can
work it out better this way.
247
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:37,685
Now, you can't do it like that.
248
00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,604
Well, it was an idea.
249
00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:41,522
Say, they're rugged,
aren't they?
250
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:46,176
Made of whalebone.
Just call me Moby-Dick.
251
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,821
It's a funny thing.
We've been married two hours
252
00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:50,823
and this is the closest
I've gotten to you.
253
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:54,744
Well, you're so strong,
silent and unapproachable.
254
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:56,853
You wanna bet?
255
00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,040
Tell me something
about yourself.
256
00:23:59,064 --> 00:24:00,666
You seem so mysterious.
257
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,920
All I know is that you came
from Washington, D.C.
258
00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:07,340
I'm sure there are a lot of
things you haven't told me.
259
00:24:07,364 --> 00:24:09,508
I'll unload
a little information at a time.
260
00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,719
That's the way to keep
a girl interested.
261
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:14,347
Who tied these for you,
a sailor?
262
00:24:14,371 --> 00:24:14,973
And another thing.
263
00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:18,351
You never told me why you
left Fort Deerfield in such a hurry.
264
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:21,187
Well, I had a little trouble,
but it's all cleared up now.
265
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:26,341
There. Hey, why worry about
my past? Let's work out our future.
266
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:28,861
That's our man, all right.
267
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:31,989
Going west in a covered
wagon. That's my kind of life.
268
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:37,244
Blazing new frontiers. Facing danger,
privation and death.
269
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:38,537
Is that my kind of life?
270
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:42,959
Now, remember, Painless,
you promised to love, honor and protect me.
271
00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,335
Let's do it in the order named.
272
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,545
Get movin', folks.
We'll get a good early start.
273
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:49,882
The sooner we get past
that Indian country, the better.
274
00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:54,428
Indian country.
Do we have to go that way?
275
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:58,081
Now, Painless, I'll be with you.
276
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:01,227
You're not afraid, are you?
277
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:05,130
No. I can always get
another scalp.
278
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,924
Let's go.
279
00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:17,076
All right, folks.
Let's get goin'.
280
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:20,079
Yahoo! Yahoo!
281
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,980
Yahoo!
282
00:25:22,772 --> 00:25:25,108
Yahoo!
283
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,450
My husband.
284
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:45,813
We'll take this trail
to the right.
285
00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:48,983
Yeah, we better. That one
leads deep into Indian country.
286
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:52,945
Well, let's get goin'. We got a
long haul before night. Right.
287
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,804
All right, boys.
288
00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:17,386
♪ A western ranch
is just a branch ♪
289
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,639
♪ Of nowhere junction to me ♪
290
00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:23,809
♪ Give me the city
where living's pretty ♪
291
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:27,837
♪ And the gals wear finery ♪
292
00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:31,692
♪ East is east
and west is west ♪
293
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:35,404
♪ And the wrong one
I have chose ♪
294
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:38,074
♪ Let's go where you'll keep on wearin' ♪
295
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,702
♪ Those frills and flowers
and buttons and bows ♪
296
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:46,689
♪ Rings and things and buttons and bows ♪
297
00:26:47,941 --> 00:26:51,128
♪ Don't bury me in this prairie ♪
298
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:54,340
♪ Take me where the cement grows ♪
299
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:57,176
♪ Let's move down
to some big town ♪
300
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,578
♪ Where they love a gal
by the cut o' her clothes ♪
301
00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:07,394
♪ And you'll stand out
in buttons and bows ♪
302
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:10,588
♪ I love you in buckskin ♪
303
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:13,526
♪ Or skirts
that you've homespun ♪
304
00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:16,070
♪ But I love you
longer, stronger ♪
305
00:27:16,094 --> 00:27:19,782
♪ Where your friends
don't tote a gun ♪
306
00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:23,119
♪ My bones denounce
the buckboard bounce ♪
307
00:27:23,143 --> 00:27:26,330
♪ And the cactus
hurts my toes ♪
308
00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,291
♪ Let's vamoose where gals keep usin' ♪
309
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,878
♪ Those silks and satins
and linen that shows ♪
310
00:27:32,902 --> 00:27:37,991
♪ And you're all mine
in buttons and bows ♪
311
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:42,096
♪ Give me eastern trimmin'
where women are women ♪
312
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,266
♪ In high silk hose
and peekaboo clothes ♪
313
00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:48,853
♪ And French perfume
that rocks the room ♪
314
00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:51,754
♪ And you're all mine ♪
315
00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:55,300
♪ Bows ♪
316
00:27:57,427 --> 00:28:00,430
♪ Buttons and bows ♪
317
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:03,975
♪ Buttons and bows ♪
318
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:09,606
♪ Buttons and bows ♪
319
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,982
Shh! Can't you see
she's sleeping?
320
00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:05,304
Come on. Come on.
You're laggin' way behind.
321
00:29:05,328 --> 00:29:06,805
Come on.
322
00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:10,559
First chance I get I'm tradin'
you in for a pair of turtles.
323
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,420
Giddyap, Stanislaus.
Come on, Clifton.
324
00:29:19,342 --> 00:29:23,721
All you had to do was follow
the wagon in front of you.
325
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:25,824
I think we're going
in the wrong direction.
326
00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:31,997
Well, maybe this is a shortcut. Maybe
we're way ahead of them. Oh, shut up.
327
00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:34,399
Yes, ma'am.
328
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:39,171
Well, we can stay in this
blockhouse for the night.
329
00:29:39,195 --> 00:29:41,507
We'll get our bearings
in the morning.
330
00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:43,926
Night? Morning?
331
00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:45,660
Yes, ma'am.
332
00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:55,044
We're beddin' down here for the night.
Take 'em back to the corral.
333
00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:02,111
Hurry. Quickly. Bring your
own blankets. Come on.
334
00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:04,887
Come on, Gramps.
We'll help you.
335
00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:06,848
Look what I found, Ma.
336
00:30:07,557 --> 00:30:10,035
Oh, Jimmy!
Keep your hands off of things!
337
00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:11,245
Hurry up. Get in.
338
00:30:11,269 --> 00:30:13,539
Is it all right in
there? It's pretty good.
339
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:16,375
You kids make up
your own beds now.
340
00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:17,710
Come on.
341
00:30:17,734 --> 00:30:21,696
All right, it's the best
we can do now.
342
00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:26,075
Gee, it's dark in here.
I'm scared.
343
00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:29,179
Put that down, Johnny.
344
00:30:29,203 --> 00:30:32,373
Must be the maid's day off. Hmm.
345
00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,476
Looks like a likely spot, Joe.
346
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,921
Hey, kraut face.
Ladies first. Then me.
347
00:30:40,631 --> 00:30:43,468
Well, this looks like it.
348
00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:45,404
Alley-oop.
349
00:30:45,428 --> 00:30:48,115
Just think. Someday
there'll be a sign on that door:
350
00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:50,075
"Painless Potter
slept here."
351
00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:51,702
Well, don't put it up yet.
352
00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:54,937
No, I've got my hands full now.
353
00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:59,192
Tomorrow night you carry me.
354
00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,131
Isn't the moonlight romantic?
355
00:31:04,155 --> 00:31:07,658
Yeah. Light the candle. Yeah.
356
00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:11,496
Candlelight's romantic too.
357
00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:18,086
We don't want any dust
to blow in.
358
00:31:47,198 --> 00:31:48,574
Painless.
359
00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:50,261
Yes?
360
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:54,223
Would you get me a drink
of cold water, please?
361
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:57,166
Water? Cold?
362
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,562
Cold water.
Well, that adds up.
363
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:06,467
All right. If I'm not back in three
minutes, you'll know I fell in the well.
364
00:32:07,844 --> 00:32:09,846
Excuse me.
365
00:33:45,775 --> 00:33:47,610
Thank you.
366
00:33:48,486 --> 00:33:51,572
It's your husband, darling.
367
00:33:54,992 --> 00:33:57,912
Yoo-hoo!
368
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,123
I'm back, honey.
369
00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:04,961
Got your cold water.
370
00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:10,341
My, you're blushing right down
to your little tootsies, aren't you?
371
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,969
Here you are, cuddles.
372
00:34:15,596 --> 00:34:18,099
There you are.
I'm sorry.
373
00:34:19,392 --> 00:34:21,561
My, but you're an odd girl.
374
00:34:25,982 --> 00:34:30,379
Gee, I'm glad I picked a wife
with a sense of humor.
375
00:34:30,403 --> 00:34:32,989
Uh, is everything all right?
376
00:34:33,823 --> 00:34:36,718
My, but you're a muscular
little thing, aren't you?
377
00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:39,888
Those dresses
are awfully deceiving.
378
00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:43,040
Smooth. Smooth.
379
00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:47,962
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to tickle you.
380
00:34:48,045 --> 00:34:51,400
Isn't that sweet?
You put your hair up in braids.
381
00:34:51,424 --> 00:34:53,318
Oh, that's nice.
Come on out, Mrs. Potter.
382
00:34:53,342 --> 00:34:56,446
I know. You're modest.
But it's all right.
383
00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:58,824
I'll keep my eyes closed.
384
00:34:58,848 --> 00:35:01,410
Come on, doll.
385
00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:03,060
Oh!
386
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:06,582
Oh! Now come close
to me, wifey.
387
00:35:06,606 --> 00:35:08,858
Come close to me.
388
00:35:09,275 --> 00:35:11,902
Boy, can you kiss.
389
00:35:39,555 --> 00:35:41,349
Wake up.
390
00:35:43,392 --> 00:35:46,622
Oh, good morning, honey.
You got up early.
391
00:35:46,646 --> 00:35:50,733
Start movin'. We gotta
get out of here. Yeah?
392
00:35:51,734 --> 00:35:55,631
Say, I don't know what happened last night,
darling,
393
00:35:55,655 --> 00:35:58,675
but thanks for a lovely evening.
394
00:35:58,699 --> 00:36:01,911
Well, you're sure easy
to please.
395
00:36:02,578 --> 00:36:06,350
Boy, I can't get
over your kisses.
396
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:08,959
Whoo-woo.
397
00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:14,965
I think I married a mental case.
398
00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,039
Huh.
399
00:36:57,758 --> 00:36:58,968
Huh.
400
00:37:04,390 --> 00:37:08,144
Huh. Must be a Virginia creeper.
401
00:37:08,686 --> 00:37:09,687
Hmm.
402
00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:21,323
Gotta make myself pretty.
I owe it to the little woman.
403
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,021
Huh. I'm shaving too close.
404
00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,340
Boy, I'm certainly
a nervous wreck.
405
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,011
It's an arrow.
406
00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:46,366
Someone had to shoot it.
Who shoots arrows?
407
00:37:46,390 --> 00:37:49,453
Cupid? No, it couldn't be Cupid.
408
00:37:49,477 --> 00:37:50,079
William Tell?
409
00:37:50,103 --> 00:37:53,790
No, that's silly. It couldn't
be William Tell. No apple.
410
00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:55,500
Huh. Indians.
411
00:37:55,524 --> 00:37:59,528
Yeah. Ind... Could be.
412
00:38:00,029 --> 00:38:02,632
Indians! Indians!
413
00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,634
Oh! Wait.
414
00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:07,495
Indians!
Wait! Wait!
415
00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:10,849
Fellas, let me in!
Open up! Open up!
416
00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:11,392
Look! It's me!
417
00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:14,686
Oh! They wanna make a
pincushion out of me! Open up!
418
00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:17,689
Pick up those guns and take
care of yourself. Let me in!
419
00:38:17,713 --> 00:38:20,692
You're too young to be a
widow! Take care of myself?
420
00:38:20,716 --> 00:38:25,888
Look! There's a million Indians
out here against one coward!
421
00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:32,561
I hope they're loaded.
I wish I was too.
422
00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:44,907
I got him! I think.
423
00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:57,062
It's a cinch.
424
00:38:57,086 --> 00:39:00,297
There's a pile for you. Oh!
425
00:39:00,339 --> 00:39:02,400
We was wrong about that dentist.
426
00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:05,094
He's doin'
some mighty fancy shootin'.
427
00:39:23,362 --> 00:39:24,572
Bad bullet.
428
00:39:31,161 --> 00:39:35,374
Let's keep it neat.
Not...
429
00:39:41,005 --> 00:39:42,732
They started it.
430
00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:44,276
How come you got lost?
What happened?
431
00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:47,737
I'll tell you what happened!
He saved the whole wagon train!
432
00:39:47,761 --> 00:39:50,866
Yeah, he done it by himself.
I never saw such shootin'.
433
00:39:50,890 --> 00:39:52,117
Best shot in the West.
434
00:39:52,141 --> 00:39:54,035
He knowed the Injuns
was on your trail,
435
00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:56,705
and he decoyed 'em away
from the rest of the wagons.
436
00:39:56,729 --> 00:40:00,458
I did? Oh,
he's right. That's what I did. I did that.
437
00:40:00,482 --> 00:40:02,043
You're a hero, son.
Yeah?
438
00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:04,462
You can have my rifle. Oh,
thanks, Dad.
439
00:40:04,486 --> 00:40:07,799
I'll knock off a couple
of Indians for you.
440
00:40:07,823 --> 00:40:11,052
Land sakes!
441
00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,972
He's got eyes
in the back of his head.
442
00:40:13,996 --> 00:40:15,223
Why, darling,
443
00:40:15,247 --> 00:40:17,642
you never said anything
about being a dead shot.
444
00:40:17,666 --> 00:40:21,670
I told you I'd give you
a little information at a time.
445
00:40:21,837 --> 00:40:24,149
Hey, son, on behalf
of the wagon train,
446
00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:25,692
thank you for what you've done.
447
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:27,801
You saved an awful lot of lives.
448
00:40:33,891 --> 00:40:35,619
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
449
00:40:35,643 --> 00:40:38,204
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to say a few words.
450
00:40:38,228 --> 00:40:41,166
Let's get out of here
before them Redskins come back.
451
00:40:41,190 --> 00:40:43,192
Those are the words. Well...
452
00:40:47,029 --> 00:40:48,798
You lead the way, Doctor.
Okay.
453
00:40:48,822 --> 00:40:50,300
Nothin' to be scared of now.
454
00:40:50,324 --> 00:40:52,344
You've got the courage
of a lion, Doctor.
455
00:40:52,368 --> 00:40:53,595
Brave men run in my family.
456
00:40:53,619 --> 00:40:56,973
Bye! Hurry up,
folks. We're off to Buffalo Flats!
457
00:40:56,997 --> 00:41:01,895
Off to Buffalo Flats!
Yahoo!
458
00:41:01,919 --> 00:41:03,921
Off to Buffalo...
459
00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,388
Our hero.
460
00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:37,121
? Get a man, get a man, get a man
461
00:41:39,415 --> 00:41:43,836
♪ Get a man,
get a man, get a man ♪
462
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:50,426
♪ Get a man,
get a man, get a man ♪
463
00:41:50,509 --> 00:41:54,471
- Oh, Mr. Preston.
- Come in, come in.
464
00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:58,576
You come at a most
inopportune time.
465
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,997
Boss, we've got some pretty
important news. Oh, I'm sure you have.
466
00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:07,210
Somehow I can always sense when
one of my associates bungles a job.
467
00:42:07,234 --> 00:42:08,586
What have you
messed up this time?
468
00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:12,448
There's a new federal agent
coming in on the wagon train.
469
00:42:14,450 --> 00:42:17,494
Why did you let him through?
470
00:42:20,664 --> 00:42:22,559
Stranger, I like you.
471
00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,060
And I like you, Red.
472
00:42:24,084 --> 00:42:26,837
Pepper!
There's Joe!
473
00:42:41,018 --> 00:42:46,023
The next guy that messes
around my gal gets the same thing.
474
00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:56,450
Wagon train's here!
475
00:42:59,495 --> 00:43:00,930
Eddie.
476
00:43:00,954 --> 00:43:03,332
Drag the gentleman out.
477
00:43:06,168 --> 00:43:07,645
What's all the
excitement out in front?
478
00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:11,215
They're giving a welcome
to that guy we told you about.
479
00:43:16,178 --> 00:43:20,408
All right, folks, the biggest
hero that this west has ever seen!
480
00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:21,743
- Yes, sir!
- Hooray!
481
00:43:21,767 --> 00:43:23,936
Hooray!
482
00:43:24,853 --> 00:43:27,624
Please, please. It was nothing.
Anyone could have done it.
483
00:43:27,648 --> 00:43:31,026
Anyone who was strong,
courageous and a dead shot.
484
00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:34,422
Is that our fearless
federal agent?
485
00:43:34,446 --> 00:43:37,133
Don't let his looks fool you.
He's a cold-blooded murderer.
486
00:43:37,157 --> 00:43:40,136
Calls himself a dentist. Painless
Potter. But that's just a front.
487
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:41,554
It ain't gonna be easy
to put him away.
488
00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:45,975
He's got eyes in the back of his
head. But we can put him away.
489
00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:49,354
Pepper, do you think you
could learn to love a dentist?
490
00:43:49,378 --> 00:43:53,191
A short romance? I don't
think it'd be too difficult.
491
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:55,693
Hey, I'd like
to be in his shoes.
492
00:43:55,717 --> 00:43:59,054
I wonder
what the cowards are doin'.
493
00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:10,250
You and your high heels.
May I please shake your hand?
494
00:44:10,274 --> 00:44:13,044
My little boy wants to touch you! Oh,
no, no.
495
00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:14,921
Now, easy, girls.
Easy. I'm tired.
496
00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:17,132
I've been fighting
Indians all day. Oh!
497
00:44:17,156 --> 00:44:19,801
But I may give you a
moment later. Don't give up.
498
00:44:19,825 --> 00:44:22,095
You're so wonderful.
Oh, he's so handsome.
499
00:44:22,119 --> 00:44:24,222
And keep cheering.
500
00:44:24,246 --> 00:44:26,456
What happened to the band?
501
00:44:26,582 --> 00:44:30,061
We're proud to have you as our guest,
sir. Very happy to be here.
502
00:44:30,085 --> 00:44:33,106
Mr. and Mrs. Painless
Potter, with baggage.
503
00:44:33,130 --> 00:44:34,274
Mr. and Mrs...
504
00:44:34,298 --> 00:44:36,550
Would you like a boy?
505
00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:42,949
Ooh.
506
00:44:42,973 --> 00:44:46,143
Oh, yes, yes.
507
00:44:56,445 --> 00:44:58,798
Boy.
Yes, sir.
508
00:44:58,822 --> 00:45:00,758
Boy? Will you
unhitch my horses,
509
00:45:00,782 --> 00:45:03,303
feed 'em some hay and have
some for yourself, huh?
510
00:45:03,327 --> 00:45:05,555
Thanks. I never
touch the stuff. All right.
511
00:45:05,579 --> 00:45:07,599
Here you are, sir.
We're all set, honey.
512
00:45:07,623 --> 00:45:10,435
Room with running water.
They got a guy who'll run for it.
513
00:45:10,459 --> 00:45:12,812
Painless, wait.
You don't wanna leave all this.
514
00:45:12,836 --> 00:45:16,274
Well, that's all right. I can wave
to 'em from the window upstairs.
515
00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:19,027
You're just too modest
to understand.
516
00:45:19,051 --> 00:45:22,363
You're a legend now,
a hero, a man apart.
517
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,658
Yeah, and we've been apart
too long. Come on, honey.
518
00:45:25,682 --> 00:45:27,601
Look outside.
519
00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:30,038
Once that was a forest.
520
00:45:30,062 --> 00:45:33,625
Then it became a trail,
then a town.
521
00:45:33,649 --> 00:45:35,001
And some day it'll be a city.
522
00:45:35,025 --> 00:45:38,695
Yeah, that's what I like...
progress. And I'm not makin' any.
523
00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,506
Some day it'll be a city
524
00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:43,635
with a statue of a great man.
525
00:45:43,659 --> 00:45:44,928
And do you know
whose statue it'll be?
526
00:45:44,952 --> 00:45:48,806
Yeah, the guy who invented
keys. Let's use it. Come on. No, no.
527
00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:52,769
It'll be a statue
of Painless Potter.
528
00:45:52,793 --> 00:45:53,770
Huh?
529
00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:55,813
And under that statue
it'll read,
530
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:57,023
"Painless Potter,
531
00:45:57,047 --> 00:46:00,777
successor to Wild Bill Hickok
and Buffalo Bill Cody,
532
00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:05,031
the intrepid hero
who saved an entire wagon train
533
00:46:05,055 --> 00:46:07,200
by killing 11 Indians."
534
00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:09,768
Twelve.
535
00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:12,372
So you see, dear,
that's why it wouldn't be fair
536
00:46:12,396 --> 00:46:14,249
for me to take you away
from these people
537
00:46:14,273 --> 00:46:17,543
and not give them a chance
to express their gratitude.
538
00:46:17,567 --> 00:46:18,670
Yeah, I guess.
539
00:46:18,694 --> 00:46:21,697
Hey, wait a minute.
What's this all about?
540
00:46:22,864 --> 00:46:25,468
Well, I might as well
come clean, Painless.
541
00:46:25,492 --> 00:46:27,053
Our marriage won't work.
542
00:46:27,077 --> 00:46:30,431
You're a hero now,
and I'm just a little nobody.
543
00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:32,350
You belong to the people.
544
00:46:32,374 --> 00:46:34,060
This is the end of the road.
545
00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:35,752
We're through.
Through?
546
00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:38,856
Mm-hmm. What's going on?
You and I just got together...
547
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:43,051
You might just as well face it,
Painless. It's over, that's all.
548
00:46:43,343 --> 00:46:46,739
Oh. Oh, this is great.
549
00:46:46,763 --> 00:46:47,949
This...
I give up my career.
550
00:46:47,973 --> 00:46:51,536
I bring you out here on a
wagon train and save your life
551
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,413
by killing 13 Indians,
552
00:46:53,437 --> 00:46:56,541
and now you're gonna
give me the kiss-off.
553
00:46:56,565 --> 00:46:57,542
Oh!
554
00:46:57,566 --> 00:46:59,544
Well, you're not the only dame.
555
00:46:59,568 --> 00:47:03,923
There are a lot of other fish in the sea,
and I'm going out and cast some bait.
556
00:47:03,947 --> 00:47:04,633
Good-bye, Painless.
557
00:47:04,657 --> 00:47:06,217
That's all right,
if that's the way you feel.
558
00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:10,972
But I promise you one thing. You'll come
crawling back to me on your hands and knees,
559
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:13,582
and do you think I'll be there?
560
00:47:14,916 --> 00:47:16,293
Good-bye.
561
00:47:17,919 --> 00:47:19,981
I'll show her.
562
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:22,317
A fine hero. Through.
563
00:47:22,341 --> 00:47:24,426
Hi.
Hi.
564
00:47:33,935 --> 00:47:35,645
Hiya.
Hi.
565
00:47:39,149 --> 00:47:42,211
Uh, how'd you like a little
conversation with a hero?
566
00:47:42,235 --> 00:47:44,780
Why, I'd be tickled to death.
567
00:47:46,782 --> 00:47:48,408
Follow me.
568
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,353
You Hank Billings?
569
00:47:58,377 --> 00:48:01,338
That's what the sign says.
570
00:48:04,216 --> 00:48:06,235
Just came in on the wagon train.
571
00:48:06,259 --> 00:48:11,741
Before I left Fort Deerfield,
I saw a friend of yours, name of Hunter.
572
00:48:11,765 --> 00:48:13,558
Jim Hunter.
573
00:48:16,186 --> 00:48:22,776
Seems a shame a man like Hunter
getting killed just so you can play cagey.
574
00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:29,991
Hot trip from Fort Deerfield.
575
00:48:30,534 --> 00:48:33,120
Come up and cool off.
576
00:48:39,668 --> 00:48:43,171
Where'd I put my tobacco?
577
00:48:49,428 --> 00:48:52,848
Now I know
why they sent a woman.
578
00:48:53,223 --> 00:48:57,394
Yep. You know what
you're gettin' into?
579
00:49:02,524 --> 00:49:05,628
You've landed smack-dab
right in the middle
580
00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:08,089
of the lowest-down
skunk of a scheme
581
00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:11,008
they ever smeared
across the West.
582
00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:13,678
Landed feet first too.
583
00:49:13,702 --> 00:49:16,305
That's how you're gonna
get carried out of it.
584
00:49:16,329 --> 00:49:18,540
Just skip the big talk.
585
00:49:19,458 --> 00:49:23,253
All right, gal, sit down.
586
00:49:27,340 --> 00:49:29,735
Somebody's runnin' guns
into the Indians.
587
00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:34,407
Enough rifles to massacre every
white man in the whole territory.
588
00:49:34,431 --> 00:49:37,976
I can't understand why
they ain't attacked already.
589
00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:40,979
Maybe they're waiting for this.
590
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,291
Where'd ya get that dynamite?
591
00:49:43,315 --> 00:49:45,751
Two loads came in
on the wagon train.
592
00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:49,714
Someone's gonna pick it up,
and we gotta find out who.
593
00:49:49,738 --> 00:49:51,907
What's your plan?
594
00:49:52,157 --> 00:49:53,051
Whoever killed Jim Hunter,
595
00:49:53,075 --> 00:49:55,803
found out there was
a federal agent after 'em,
596
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:58,389
but they didn't know who it was.
597
00:49:58,413 --> 00:50:00,558
I steered 'em
onto the wrong party.
598
00:50:00,582 --> 00:50:05,021
A husband I picked up in Fort Deerfield,
name of Painless Potter.
599
00:50:05,045 --> 00:50:07,315
They'll kill him, sure.
600
00:50:07,339 --> 00:50:08,649
That's right.
601
00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:11,569
They'll think
the federal agent's dead.
602
00:50:11,593 --> 00:50:13,762
Then I can operate.
603
00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:19,392
Hi.
604
00:50:27,609 --> 00:50:29,045
Where's the high life
around here?
605
00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:31,589
Right over
at the Dirty Shame Saloon.
606
00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:33,031
Spread out.
607
00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:44,459
Isn't he a dandy?
608
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,170
He's a humdinger.
609
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:49,464
Here he comes, folks!
610
00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:01,327
Welcome, welcome.
611
00:51:01,351 --> 00:51:03,955
Gentlemen!
612
00:51:03,979 --> 00:51:06,582
We have a celebrity
in our midst.
613
00:51:06,606 --> 00:51:08,459
It's a rare privilege
to shake the hand
614
00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:11,546
of the greatest Indian fighter
west of the Mississippi.
615
00:51:11,570 --> 00:51:13,965
You can include
the East too, son.
616
00:51:13,989 --> 00:51:17,701
Watch it. Watch it.
It's my trigger finger.
617
00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:20,888
I'd consider it an honor
if you would join me.
618
00:51:20,912 --> 00:51:23,290
Heard you, partner.
Heard you.
619
00:51:30,005 --> 00:51:30,982
You were sayin'?
620
00:51:31,006 --> 00:51:33,550
What'll you have, my friend?
621
00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:47,248
Never mind the chaser.
622
00:51:47,272 --> 00:51:49,750
You going to be in town
long? How about a dance?
623
00:51:49,774 --> 00:51:51,252
We all want a chance.
624
00:51:51,276 --> 00:51:53,588
Wait a minute.
Don't fight over me, gals.
625
00:51:53,612 --> 00:51:56,007
I'll be around a while.
Good.
626
00:51:56,031 --> 00:51:58,843
Take it slow. You know this
could become habit-forming.
627
00:51:58,867 --> 00:52:00,886
Move in,
honey. Don't get shut out. Okay.
628
00:52:00,910 --> 00:52:04,515
Yes, sir. Stand by.
I may raffle myself off later.
629
00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:05,790
For me?
630
00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:11,772
♪ This town ain't big enough ♪
631
00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:13,941
♪ The streets ain't
long enough ♪
632
00:52:13,965 --> 00:52:18,487
♪ For me to get away from you ♪
633
00:52:18,511 --> 00:52:23,868
♪ Meet ya round the corner
'bout half-past eight ♪
634
00:52:23,892 --> 00:52:27,705
♪ Oh, honey, what we'll do ♪
635
00:52:27,729 --> 00:52:29,832
♪ The West ain't rough enough ♪
636
00:52:29,856 --> 00:52:32,043
♪ The joints
ain't tough enough ♪
637
00:52:32,067 --> 00:52:36,839
♪ To keep me
from the one I crave ♪
638
00:52:36,863 --> 00:52:38,758
♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪
639
00:52:38,782 --> 00:52:41,719
♪ Now, don't be late ♪
640
00:52:41,743 --> 00:52:44,597
♪ You'll see how I behave ♪
641
00:52:44,621 --> 00:52:49,560
♪ When we're alone, honey ♪
642
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,771
♪ You'll be possessin' ♪
643
00:52:51,795 --> 00:52:54,065
♪ My best caressin' ♪
644
00:52:54,089 --> 00:52:58,402
♪ I'll be your own honey ♪
645
00:52:58,426 --> 00:53:00,404
♪ You're the kind ♪
646
00:53:00,428 --> 00:53:02,698
♪ To make me lose my mind ♪
647
00:53:02,722 --> 00:53:05,576
♪ One kiss
ain't strong enough ♪
648
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,578
♪ A kiss ain't long enough ♪
649
00:53:07,602 --> 00:53:12,148
♪ Got to kiss you
night and day ♪
650
00:53:12,190 --> 00:53:14,669
♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪
651
00:53:14,693 --> 00:53:16,629
♪ Any old corner ♪
652
00:53:16,653 --> 00:53:19,590
♪ Meet ya anytime you say ♪
653
00:53:19,614 --> 00:53:21,157
♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪
654
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:23,260
♪ Seein' as you're new here ♪
655
00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:25,096
♪ Soon as I'm through here ♪
656
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,349
♪ I'll kiss ya in my own sweet way ♪
657
00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:29,975
♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪
658
00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:32,478
♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪
659
00:53:32,502 --> 00:53:34,897
♪ Any old corner ♪
660
00:53:34,921 --> 00:53:40,319
♪ Meet ya anytime you say? ♪
661
00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:42,405
You got a cigar on ya, sister?
662
00:53:42,429 --> 00:53:44,365
Come on, handsome.
Let's dance.
663
00:53:44,389 --> 00:53:45,807
Take me away.
664
00:54:25,013 --> 00:54:27,891
- It's Joe!
- It's Joe!
665
00:54:31,186 --> 00:54:34,939
Don't do it, Joe.
This guy's a killer.
666
00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:37,168
What's the trouble, stranger?
667
00:54:37,192 --> 00:54:39,754
I don't like nobody
foolin' around my gal.
668
00:54:39,778 --> 00:54:42,381
Yeah, well, I got news for you.
669
00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:43,841
I ain't foolin'.
670
00:54:43,865 --> 00:54:45,492
Now get.
671
00:54:45,909 --> 00:54:48,244
You ain't scarin' nobody.
672
00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,522
This town ain't big enough
for you and me.
673
00:54:58,546 --> 00:55:01,150
I'll give you
till sundown to get out.
674
00:55:01,174 --> 00:55:03,968
That's the usual time, ain't it?
675
00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:06,739
At sundown
I'll be out lookin' for you.
676
00:55:06,763 --> 00:55:08,199
I'll be waitin'.
677
00:55:08,223 --> 00:55:10,850
And I'll be lookin'!
678
00:55:11,559 --> 00:55:13,895
He plumb riled me.
679
00:55:20,902 --> 00:55:23,214
Four fingers of Red Eye.
680
00:55:23,238 --> 00:55:26,574
I always feel like a drink
before a killin'.
681
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:30,954
The thumb too.
682
00:55:40,421 --> 00:55:43,383
Nothin' stronger, huh?
683
00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:29,196
The sun's almost down, honey.
684
00:56:29,220 --> 00:56:30,115
Yeah.
685
00:56:30,139 --> 00:56:33,284
This little doll is
just itchin' for another notch.
686
00:56:33,308 --> 00:56:35,452
Here, wear this for good luck.
687
00:56:35,476 --> 00:56:40,624
Yeah. But men don't wear these. Oh,
yeah. Sure, kid.
688
00:56:40,648 --> 00:56:42,317
Thanks.
689
00:56:43,276 --> 00:56:47,464
Hey, listen. The man that's
after you just killed my brother.
690
00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:48,133
Here's a tip.
691
00:56:48,157 --> 00:56:54,662
He draws from the left,
so lean to the right.
692
00:56:59,042 --> 00:57:02,354
Son, I'll let you in
on somethin'.
693
00:57:02,378 --> 00:57:06,108
Long towards sunset,
there's a wind from the east,
694
00:57:06,132 --> 00:57:08,152
so you better aim to the west.
695
00:57:08,176 --> 00:57:09,987
He draws from the left,
so lean to the right.
696
00:57:10,011 --> 00:57:13,890
There's a wind from the east,
so better aim to the west.
697
00:57:17,018 --> 00:57:18,537
I know this Joe like a book.
698
00:57:18,561 --> 00:57:22,041
He crouches when he shoots,
so stand on your toes.
699
00:57:22,065 --> 00:57:23,876
He draws from the left,
so lean to the right.
700
00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:26,045
There's a wind from the east,
better aim to the west.
701
00:57:26,069 --> 00:57:29,048
He crouches when he shoots,
so stand on your toes.
702
00:57:29,072 --> 00:57:31,032
Thanks.
703
00:57:56,516 --> 00:58:01,145
Hey, Mrs. Potter,
your husband's mixed up in a gun fight.
704
00:58:02,438 --> 00:58:05,066
Well, that problem's
taken care of.
705
00:58:06,067 --> 00:58:09,380
He draws from the left,
so stand on your toes.
706
00:58:09,404 --> 00:58:13,157
There's a wind from the east,
better lean to the right.
707
00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:16,720
He crouches when he shoots,
better aim to the west.
708
00:58:16,744 --> 00:58:19,348
He draws from his toes,
so lean towards the wind.
709
00:58:19,372 --> 00:58:22,583
Ha, ha! I got it.
710
00:58:25,211 --> 00:58:26,939
Watch it!
711
00:58:26,963 --> 00:58:29,382
Watch it, watch it.
712
00:58:35,346 --> 00:58:37,765
Better warm up a little.
713
00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:49,652
The wind shifted.
714
00:59:08,004 --> 00:59:10,339
Either way, he wins.
715
01:00:06,854 --> 01:00:11,668
He draws from the wind,
so lean when you stand.
716
01:00:11,692 --> 01:00:13,027
No.
717
01:00:13,319 --> 01:00:17,716
He stands on his crouch
with his toes in the wind.
718
01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:19,033
No.
719
01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:48,437
Shh!
720
01:02:00,176 --> 01:02:02,553
All right, Potter!
721
01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:07,576
Hey, it's Peter Potter!
722
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:08,994
Hooray for Peter Potter!
723
01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:13,665
How do ya like that! Tried to fool
me. He didn't crouch with the wind.
724
01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:15,250
What's the idea?
725
01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:18,486
I nearly made a mistake.
726
01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:23,467
When you're huntin' a mountain lion,
stake out a goat.
727
01:02:23,491 --> 01:02:26,053
Yeah, the lion
gets the goat and...
728
01:02:26,077 --> 01:02:27,662
We get the lion.
729
01:02:27,787 --> 01:02:30,641
We'd better get rid
of the dynamite.
730
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:32,309
Get a hold of Yellow Feather.
731
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:36,480
Now, you try and find out where
they're hidin' that dynamite,
732
01:02:36,504 --> 01:02:38,839
and I'll round up our goat.
733
01:02:38,923 --> 01:02:40,275
I'd have got him sooner,
but I tripped.
734
01:02:40,299 --> 01:02:44,303
Have a little work for ya. Stick
around and I'll make you wealthy.
735
01:02:45,721 --> 01:02:48,808
Hurry, boys, I may
have to pose for a statue.
736
01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:53,771
Fooled you that time, didn't I?
737
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,524
I have to be a hero.
738
01:02:56,649 --> 01:02:58,293
Oh, you great big,
wonderful man!
739
01:02:58,317 --> 01:03:00,587
I told you my garter
would bring you good luck.
740
01:03:00,611 --> 01:03:02,631
Oh, thanks.
Lucky thing I had a gun too.
741
01:03:02,655 --> 01:03:04,675
How about a great
big smack for Pepper?
742
01:03:04,699 --> 01:03:08,369
Well... It sounds
like a good idea.
743
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,051
I don't want anybody
foolin' with my man.
744
01:03:27,138 --> 01:03:29,616
I've come back to you, darling.
745
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:30,993
What's that, stranger?
746
01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:35,289
I didn't realize how much I loved
you until I saw how brave you were.
747
01:03:35,313 --> 01:03:36,415
Please forgive me.
748
01:03:36,439 --> 01:03:39,918
Well, you didn't come crawling
back on your hands and knees,
749
01:03:39,942 --> 01:03:41,628
but I'll weaken.
750
01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:44,030
You may kiss my cheek.
751
01:03:45,906 --> 01:03:47,676
Shall we go to our room, dear?
752
01:03:47,700 --> 01:03:51,430
That seems fair.
My arm, Mrs. Potter.
753
01:03:51,454 --> 01:03:53,914
Nah, over here.
754
01:03:55,166 --> 01:03:57,918
That's my shootin' side.
755
01:04:04,300 --> 01:04:06,761
Be right with you, honey.
756
01:04:09,430 --> 01:04:12,933
There, that ought
to take care of the tourists.
757
01:04:26,614 --> 01:04:30,260
Gee, I never thought I'd find
a girl who would fight over me.
758
01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:32,763
Boy, when you hit her
with that right.
759
01:04:32,787 --> 01:04:34,556
Remember, honey,
I'm on your side.
760
01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:36,433
Why, of course, dear.
I'm your wife.
761
01:04:36,457 --> 01:04:38,518
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
762
01:04:38,542 --> 01:04:40,628
Yeah. Come.
763
01:04:41,879 --> 01:04:44,298
Come close to me, wifey.
764
01:04:48,386 --> 01:04:52,473
Oh, that was delightful.
Let's try another one, huh?
765
01:04:56,018 --> 01:05:00,689
You poor kid.
I'm sorry I had to do that.
766
01:05:01,107 --> 01:05:04,568
What's the matter with me?
I must be gettin' soft.
767
01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:14,537
Hank!
Guns.
768
01:05:14,995 --> 01:05:16,973
Dynamite.
769
01:05:16,997 --> 01:05:18,725
Undertaker's parlor...
770
01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:22,479
You'll find the men that...
771
01:05:22,503 --> 01:05:24,255
Hank.
772
01:05:33,472 --> 01:05:34,325
Painless.
773
01:05:34,349 --> 01:05:36,827
Painless, wake up.
Wake up. Come on.
774
01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:40,288
He crouches when he shoots,
so aim to the left.
775
01:05:40,312 --> 01:05:42,249
J... Jane!
776
01:05:42,273 --> 01:05:43,834
Painless, do you love me?
777
01:05:43,858 --> 01:05:45,585
Oh, I'm...
I'm yours, body and soul.
778
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:50,257
Will you do anything for me without
asking questions? Naturally, darling.
779
01:05:50,281 --> 01:05:51,425
Well, then, listen carefully.
780
01:05:51,449 --> 01:05:54,136
There's dynamite hidden
in the undertaker's parlor.
781
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:55,887
Someone's gonna come callin'
for it tonight.
782
01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:57,913
Go down there
and find out who they are.
783
01:05:57,955 --> 01:05:59,808
Easy, gal. Are you trying
to get rid of me again?
784
01:05:59,832 --> 01:06:02,978
Please, Painless. I can't tell you why now,
but this is important.
785
01:06:03,002 --> 01:06:04,980
You must go.
I don't must anything.
786
01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:06,857
Any other girl would be
tickled pink to be alone
787
01:06:06,881 --> 01:06:09,901
with a guy who's killed 14 Indians for her,
but not you.
788
01:06:09,925 --> 01:06:12,237
Every time we're alone, you try
to give me the old heave-ho.
789
01:06:12,261 --> 01:06:16,700
Twenty years of my life... our
whole life together depends on this.
790
01:06:16,724 --> 01:06:17,452
Will you go?
791
01:06:17,476 --> 01:06:19,494
And what if I don't, what then?
792
01:06:19,518 --> 01:06:20,495
Well, I couldn't blame you.
793
01:06:20,519 --> 01:06:22,414
All I can say is,
that I'm depending on you
794
01:06:22,438 --> 01:06:26,418
more than I've depended
on anyone else before ever.
795
01:06:26,442 --> 01:06:27,836
Please.
796
01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,212
All right, I'll go.
797
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:32,948
But it's the last time
you'll make a monkey out of me.
798
01:06:32,990 --> 01:06:34,509
You know that statue
you told me about?
799
01:06:34,533 --> 01:06:38,746
Well, tell 'em to carve on it,
"Painless Potter. Shmo."
800
01:06:39,246 --> 01:06:41,224
I'll be seeing you.
You too.
801
01:06:41,248 --> 01:06:42,476
Hey, look!
Hey, what's that?
802
01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:44,728
Some other guy you
kissed? I'll explain later.
803
01:06:44,752 --> 01:06:45,812
There's no time
for questions now.
804
01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:49,357
Please trust in me. Oh, but I don't
understand this whole situation.
805
01:06:49,381 --> 01:06:51,276
Please, please.
All right, I'm goin'.
806
01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:53,904
Don't get the idea
that I'm scared or nervous.
807
01:06:53,928 --> 01:06:56,597
Because I'm not...
Wait!
808
01:06:57,598 --> 01:06:59,659
Because I'm not!
809
01:06:59,683 --> 01:07:01,602
Who...
810
01:07:33,842 --> 01:07:38,973
Shh! Shh! Get out of here
before I sic a mouse on you.
811
01:07:44,436 --> 01:07:46,063
Shh!
812
01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:01,829
Shh!
813
01:09:11,190 --> 01:09:13,275
Hey, they got dynamite...
814
01:09:17,279 --> 01:09:18,739
Joe.
815
01:09:19,323 --> 01:09:21,075
Fool.
816
01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:44,932
Whoa.
817
01:09:56,443 --> 01:09:58,213
We've got to get
this stuff out of here fast.
818
01:09:58,237 --> 01:10:02,282
We're using the dentist's
wagon in case there's a slip up.
819
01:10:28,392 --> 01:10:30,561
Come on. Hurry it up.
820
01:10:42,197 --> 01:10:44,032
Take it easy.
821
01:10:48,036 --> 01:10:51,349
Reach, you varmints,
or I'll tattoo you the hard way.
822
01:10:51,373 --> 01:10:54,185
Aha! I know all about you
and your dynamite.
823
01:10:54,209 --> 01:10:55,812
You were gonna give it
to the Indians, huh?
824
01:10:55,836 --> 01:10:58,898
Well, now I'm gonna to take
you down to the sheriff's office
825
01:10:58,922 --> 01:11:02,193
and have a little talk
about your future, if any.
826
01:11:02,217 --> 01:11:04,696
Now get goin'!
827
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:07,181
Painless Potter rides again.
828
01:12:07,199 --> 01:12:09,201
Whoo-hoo!
829
01:12:12,412 --> 01:12:16,625
And then I found out
that you were captured too.
830
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,144
I'd been meaning
to tell you anyway,
831
01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:22,357
and hearing those drums,
I figured this was my last chance.
832
01:12:22,381 --> 01:12:25,759
Then it wasn't me
that shot all those Indians?
833
01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:29,972
And I didn't even shoot Joe?
834
01:12:30,347 --> 01:12:32,224
And any minute
I could've been killed?
835
01:12:36,353 --> 01:12:38,772
Now I worry.
836
01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:42,794
Sayin' I'm sorry is
like spittin' in your eye,
837
01:12:42,818 --> 01:12:44,611
and I'm sayin' it.
838
01:12:45,195 --> 01:12:46,256
Me, a hero.
839
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:50,284
Boy, I couldn't save a clam
from a bowl of chowder.
840
01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:52,762
I bet I handed you
a lot of laughs.
841
01:12:52,786 --> 01:12:54,681
What a sucker I've been.
What a boob.
842
01:12:54,705 --> 01:12:58,601
There ain't low enough words
for what I've done to you painless.
843
01:12:58,625 --> 01:13:01,521
There are now. I just thought
of a couple of new ones.
844
01:13:01,545 --> 01:13:06,234
All the time I thought you were about the
finest thing that ever came into my life.
845
01:13:06,258 --> 01:13:08,802
That's what sticks in my craw.
846
01:13:09,970 --> 01:13:11,573
Painless...
847
01:13:11,597 --> 01:13:12,615
What now?
848
01:13:12,639 --> 01:13:15,827
There's one more thing
I gotta tell you.
849
01:13:15,851 --> 01:13:18,454
I gotta tell you
that I love you.
850
01:13:18,478 --> 01:13:20,355
What's this, another laugh?
851
01:13:20,397 --> 01:13:21,499
No.
852
01:13:21,523 --> 01:13:25,461
I think you're the kindest,
bravest man I've ever known.
853
01:13:25,485 --> 01:13:26,380
Oh, sure.
854
01:13:26,404 --> 01:13:32,135
And I want to tell you this now,
because we may not get out of this alive.
855
01:13:32,159 --> 01:13:35,162
Yeah, well,
if it hadn't been for you.
856
01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:42,419
Hey. Well, what do you know.
857
01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:54,032
What's the matter?
858
01:13:54,056 --> 01:13:56,725
No stars.
Oh!
859
01:14:01,563 --> 01:14:05,359
Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!
860
01:14:16,286 --> 01:14:18,389
Maybe he's...
861
01:14:18,413 --> 01:14:19,807
Hey!
862
01:14:19,831 --> 01:14:22,602
What's the matter,
you tryin' to dirty my scalp,
863
01:14:22,626 --> 01:14:24,145
even before you get it?
864
01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:26,380
Whoa!
865
01:14:35,764 --> 01:14:37,241
How.
866
01:14:37,265 --> 01:14:38,534
Not so good.
867
01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:40,203
Me Yellow Feather.
868
01:14:40,227 --> 01:14:41,663
Me chief of tribe.
869
01:14:41,687 --> 01:14:43,748
Me greet Paleface warrior.
870
01:14:43,772 --> 01:14:46,918
Oh! Well, I think
you got the wrong person.
871
01:14:46,942 --> 01:14:48,735
She's the...
872
01:14:49,486 --> 01:14:52,715
Yeah. Me very big
Paleface warrior.
873
01:14:52,739 --> 01:14:54,801
You strong here.
874
01:14:54,825 --> 01:14:56,803
Yeah, heap big heap.
875
01:14:56,827 --> 01:15:01,891
Paleface more brave
than all white warriors.
876
01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,851
Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
877
01:15:03,875 --> 01:15:08,690
Yellow Feather know
you kill 11 his best braves.
878
01:15:08,714 --> 01:15:09,650
Fifteen!
879
01:15:09,674 --> 01:15:10,984
Painless, tell him the truth.
880
01:15:11,008 --> 01:15:12,276
Eleven.
That's not what I mean.
881
01:15:12,300 --> 01:15:14,237
Yellow Feather,
he didn't have anything to do with this.
882
01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:17,824
I got him into the whole thing.
883
01:15:17,848 --> 01:15:19,433
Let her breathe.
884
01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:23,162
Paleface warrior
get much praise.
885
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:25,480
My tribe make big honor.
886
01:15:25,522 --> 01:15:26,523
Fine!
887
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:31,421
Yellow Feather, please!
No, not that! Not to him!
888
01:15:31,445 --> 01:15:32,880
Huh?
How.
889
01:15:32,904 --> 01:15:34,698
Yeah, I'll let you know.
890
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:43,599
I don't know what he said, but it didn't
sound like he was inviting me to a picnic.
891
01:15:43,623 --> 01:15:45,393
What did he say?
892
01:15:45,417 --> 01:15:46,978
I'd rather not talk about it.
893
01:15:47,002 --> 01:15:48,354
Yeah, but I don't
like surprises.
894
01:15:48,378 --> 01:15:51,816
Am I gonna get shot by
arrows? Burned at the stake?
895
01:15:51,840 --> 01:15:53,109
Boiled in a pot?
896
01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:55,427
Am I getting warm?
897
01:15:57,804 --> 01:15:59,782
Painless, can you take it?
898
01:15:59,806 --> 01:16:01,617
No, but tell me anyway.
899
01:16:01,641 --> 01:16:07,707
Well, with Indians, the bigger
hero you are, the greater the torture.
900
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,667
Yeah, but what can they do?
901
01:16:09,691 --> 01:16:11,669
What's left?
902
01:16:11,693 --> 01:16:13,445
Well...
903
01:16:15,864 --> 01:16:17,657
Two trees.
904
01:16:18,033 --> 01:16:19,927
They bend one tree down.
905
01:16:19,951 --> 01:16:22,537
Then they bend
the other tree down.
906
01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:25,475
They tie one of your legs
to this tree.
907
01:16:25,499 --> 01:16:25,851
Mine?
908
01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:29,896
Then, they tie your other leg
to this tree.
909
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:32,297
Then they cut the ropes.
910
01:16:34,549 --> 01:16:36,843
That's me?
911
01:16:38,178 --> 01:16:41,348
If I were a chicken bone,
I could make a wish.
912
01:16:45,227 --> 01:16:47,896
At a time like this
he has to be off-key.
913
01:16:51,024 --> 01:16:54,027
Don't pull.
You'll get your half.
914
01:17:03,745 --> 01:17:08,041
Yeah, that's your story.
915
01:17:14,548 --> 01:17:17,008
It's time I told you
I'm not this brave.
916
01:17:17,843 --> 01:17:21,930
Just think. I'll be traveling
east and west at the same time.
917
01:17:23,557 --> 01:17:24,243
Painless! Painless!
918
01:17:24,267 --> 01:17:28,871
Oh, don't worry, honey. Maybe in the
next world you'll meet two nice fellas.
919
01:17:28,895 --> 01:17:31,982
Look close.
They'll both be me.
920
01:17:35,569 --> 01:17:36,570
Let's be fair.
921
01:17:59,426 --> 01:18:01,946
Wapato, medicine bad.
922
01:18:01,970 --> 01:18:05,366
Shame us with white squaw.
923
01:18:05,390 --> 01:18:06,492
Go.
924
01:18:06,516 --> 01:18:08,268
You not come back!
925
01:18:23,575 --> 01:18:25,136
Oh!
926
01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:27,662
Help!
927
01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:30,498
Help. Help.
928
01:18:49,434 --> 01:18:51,811
I better get goin'.
929
01:18:52,979 --> 01:18:53,373
Jane!
930
01:18:53,397 --> 01:18:56,959
She's still there,
and it's up to me to save her.
931
01:18:56,983 --> 01:18:57,753
Hold it, impulsive.
932
01:18:57,777 --> 01:19:01,088
If those Indians grab you,
you know what'll happen to you.
933
01:19:01,112 --> 01:19:02,465
And we don't like that, do we?
934
01:19:02,489 --> 01:19:04,592
What are you, a man or a mouse?
935
01:19:04,616 --> 01:19:07,637
I'm not a mouse,
and I'm not a man. I'm a dentist.
936
01:19:07,661 --> 01:19:09,388
Yeah, but the girl loves you.
937
01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:11,682
Yeah. Yeah,
and I love her too.
938
01:19:11,706 --> 01:19:14,894
But if they get me,
my life won't be worth a plugged nickel.
939
01:19:14,918 --> 01:19:17,146
What'll your life be worth without her?
940
01:19:17,170 --> 01:19:19,815
Oh, now don't get
sentimental with me.
941
01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:20,858
Let's look at it logically.
942
01:19:20,882 --> 01:19:24,862
If I go back there, those Indians'll
part my hair clear down to my toes.
943
01:19:24,886 --> 01:19:25,656
How can that help Jane?
944
01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:28,366
Suit yourself. If you think you
can spend those long evenings
945
01:19:28,390 --> 01:19:32,578
just thinkin' about how you might
have saved her, it's all right with me.
946
01:19:32,602 --> 01:19:33,663
Aw, stop. Stop. I'll go.
947
01:19:33,687 --> 01:19:36,499
But don't forget I'll always
hate you for bein' so stubborn.
948
01:19:36,523 --> 01:19:40,068
Besides, I have to pick up
my other boot.
949
01:19:57,252 --> 01:19:59,296
Oh!
950
01:20:15,395 --> 01:20:15,956
How.
951
01:20:15,980 --> 01:20:17,957
Now, would you like to trade?
952
01:20:17,981 --> 01:20:20,376
Clothes?
Me take those, huh?
953
01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:21,400
Like that?
954
01:20:22,694 --> 01:20:25,405
Why, you!
955
01:20:37,334 --> 01:20:41,129
I got 'im. I got 'im.
Ya-hoo-hoo-hoo!
956
01:20:54,726 --> 01:20:55,911
How.
How.
957
01:20:55,935 --> 01:20:56,246
How.
958
01:20:56,270 --> 01:20:59,290
Well, Chief,
this completes our part of the bargain.
959
01:20:59,314 --> 01:21:02,001
You bring long rifles, dynamite?
960
01:21:02,025 --> 01:21:05,111
An ample supply.
All is in order.
961
01:21:07,947 --> 01:21:09,383
You low-down
stinkin' little coyote.
962
01:21:09,407 --> 01:21:13,429
So you're the one I've been
lookin' for! Hold her! Hold her!
963
01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:14,805
Well,
964
01:21:14,829 --> 01:21:16,140
that's your federal agent.
965
01:21:16,164 --> 01:21:18,976
What are you gonna
to do with her? Burn.
966
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:21,896
It'll take more than a governor's
pardon to save you now.
967
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:24,881
Rat!
968
01:21:32,847 --> 01:21:35,433
Come. We talk.
969
01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:18,143
Hubby, hubby.
970
01:22:18,268 --> 01:22:19,162
Hubby, hubby.
971
01:22:19,186 --> 01:22:22,498
♪ East is east
Please don't crack ♪
972
01:22:22,522 --> 01:22:25,233
♪ This is your hubby Painless ♪
973
01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:30,196
Hubby, hubby.
974
01:22:30,613 --> 01:22:32,675
Medicine Man come back.
975
01:22:32,699 --> 01:22:36,202
Burn him.
Burn him with White Squaw.
976
01:23:07,150 --> 01:23:08,359
Hey!
977
01:23:09,819 --> 01:23:12,071
Yeah! Ho-ho.
978
01:23:13,531 --> 01:23:15,384
You don't know
what you're doing.
979
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:16,927
Don't worry.
I'll save you.
980
01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:19,555
Who they gonna burn over
there? The Medicine Man.
981
01:23:19,579 --> 01:23:22,766
Serves him right for
practicing without a license.
982
01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:23,893
Yahoo!
983
01:23:23,917 --> 01:23:24,728
I got 'em fooled, all right.
984
01:23:24,752 --> 01:23:28,856
Yeah, they think you're the Medicine
Man they're gonna burn at the stake.
985
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,132
Ya... Ya... Ya...
986
01:23:32,050 --> 01:23:33,593
Me?
987
01:23:47,357 --> 01:23:50,693
Don't move.
I'll try to lead 'em away.
988
01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,072
Something might work out.
989
01:24:24,352 --> 01:24:27,146
What's the matter with you?
990
01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:34,612
- Why, you crazy Indian!
- We're too strong.
991
01:25:09,147 --> 01:25:10,773
Sorry, ma'am.
992
01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:16,195
How.
993
01:25:40,553 --> 01:25:41,888
Didn't I tell you I'd save you?
994
01:25:52,899 --> 01:25:56,003
Boy, it smells like somebody's
been cooking cauliflower in here.
995
01:25:56,027 --> 01:25:57,713
Come on.
Get out of here.
996
01:25:57,737 --> 01:25:59,530
I'll see you around.
997
01:26:03,409 --> 01:26:05,495
Hey, fellas, wait for me.
998
01:26:33,106 --> 01:26:36,085
Grab a rifle and start shootin'!
999
01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:37,777
Yeah.
1000
01:26:42,490 --> 01:26:44,218
Give me one of those guns!
1001
01:26:44,242 --> 01:26:44,969
Yes, ma'am.
1002
01:26:44,993 --> 01:26:46,303
Take any size you want, honey.
1003
01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:49,932
Why,
we'll get... Get back. It's not safe.
1004
01:26:49,956 --> 01:26:51,666
Yes, ma'am.
1005
01:26:52,792 --> 01:26:56,295
They're walkin'
right into our trap.
1006
01:27:03,636 --> 01:27:05,763
A billiard!
1007
01:27:10,560 --> 01:27:13,187
Pretty tricky, those foreigners.
1008
01:27:21,821 --> 01:27:23,990
Where's my rifle?
1009
01:27:38,171 --> 01:27:42,550
They wanted dynamite, huh?
Well, I'll give it to 'em.
1010
01:27:55,313 --> 01:27:57,064
Must've been a dud.
1011
01:28:43,903 --> 01:28:46,906
Hey, faster!
They're gaining on us!
1012
01:28:47,824 --> 01:28:49,218
Hey, get up in front!
1013
01:28:49,242 --> 01:28:51,744
You're supposed to be pullin'!
1014
01:28:52,203 --> 01:28:53,788
Hey!
1015
01:28:53,913 --> 01:28:55,849
Jump, Painless! Jump!
1016
01:28:55,873 --> 01:28:57,601
If I jump, I'll get killed!
1017
01:28:57,625 --> 01:29:00,086
But the dynamite!
1018
01:29:00,753 --> 01:29:04,423
Rigor mortis, here I come! Ooh!
1019
01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:13,432
Get Martin off that wagon!
1020
01:29:22,358 --> 01:29:24,277
That's the last of 'em.
1021
01:29:28,990 --> 01:29:32,285
Darn it! There goes
my dental diploma.
1022
01:29:35,037 --> 01:29:36,998
Here they come now!
1023
01:29:40,251 --> 01:29:43,981
Don't get excited. I'll be back
in a year or so. Don't worry.
1024
01:29:44,005 --> 01:29:45,399
Our hero.
1025
01:29:45,423 --> 01:29:47,401
Oh, I'm sorry,
Mrs. Potter.
1026
01:29:47,425 --> 01:29:49,111
Silly girl.
1027
01:29:49,135 --> 01:29:51,762
You gotta expect
this kind of thing.
1028
01:29:55,850 --> 01:30:00,646
Let's not overdo it. I know I
deserve it. But steady, men.
1029
01:30:01,272 --> 01:30:04,317
Take it out of the bags, fellas.
1030
01:30:05,359 --> 01:30:08,088
Honey, I'll drive. Yeah,
you drive and I'll watch.
1031
01:30:08,112 --> 01:30:12,491
Finally going on your
honeymoon? Am I! Yahoo!
1032
01:30:16,579 --> 01:30:19,415
What do you want?
A happy ending?
72208
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