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This programme contains
some strong language
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00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,880
WOMAN: Douglas. Douglas.
Douglas, I need to say something.
3
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,520
Douglas, I've been thinking
about leaving.
4
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,880
I think our marriage might be over.
5
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,040
When you say "leaving"...?
Starting again.
6
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,560
A new life, but not together.
So divorce?
7
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,760
That... That's not the most
important thing at the moment.
8
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,320
Ah, so a trial separation?
9
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Except not a trial.
10
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I mean breaking up.
11
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,560
Don't say "breaking up".
16-year-olds break up.
12
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,640
What you're saying is,
you'd rather be alone?
13
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,520
We're going to be alone, Connie.
14
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,840
Yes, I know.
15
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,640
Well, tell me, tell me clearly.
16
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,480
I just feel that things between us
might have run their course.
17
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,640
I don't agree.
18
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,000
Oh, well, if you don't agree...
19
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,480
We don't talk! We talk!
20
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,720
About the boiler, about holidays
and insurance -
21
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,240
we don't have conversations.
22
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,040
So what do you want to tell me?
23
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,680
It's not you. Oh, don't say,
"It's not you, it's me."
24
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It's not me either, it's us.
25
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,840
No, it's not "us",
because I don't want to leave!
26
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,960
I just feel...
27
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,280
Don't say,
"I just feel, I just feel."
28
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,400
Say what you want.
I want...change!
29
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,120
Right. OK, well...
30
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,320
...what can I do?
31
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,480
What do you mean?
32
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:42,000
Well, this is obviously, erm,
a catalyst thing,
33
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,120
what-d'you-call-it, a wake-up call.
34
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,800
So what can I change about myself?
35
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,280
I don't want you to
be someone else.
36
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,880
Because I'm quite capable of change.
37
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,400
You're great! I just don't think
I can spend my whole life with you.
38
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,520
CONNIE SIGHS
39
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,640
I'm sorry I'm not able to be
more articulate.
40
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,200
No, no.
41
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,680
That bit was quite clear.
42
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,160
All those years as a parent,
being called Mum
43
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,400
until it's like my name,
and then suddenly it stops.
44
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,680
I... I think of how empty
it's going to be, every evening,
45
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,880
for the rest of our lives,
just the two of us rattling around.
46
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,120
Doesn't that frighten you?
47
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:29,080
No! We wouldn't rattle, we'd do
things, we'd work, we'd travel...
48
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,760
And then we'd come home.
49
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,600
I have this word in my head -
"box sets".
50
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,320
Every time I hear it,
I can feel my heart racing.
51
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,720
SHE SIGHS
52
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,360
I don't know what it is yet...
53
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,560
...but I need to find
something else.
54
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,760
Great. Then...let's find
it together.
55
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,080
Have you only stayed because
of Albie? No!
56
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,560
We've been through a lot.
57
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,000
I think we've been happy.
58
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,960
But now...
59
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,560
..don't you ever think
our work is done?
60
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,160
It was never work to me.
61
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,480
Well, it was for me...
62
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,760
..sometimes.
63
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,680
BIRDSONG
64
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,680
Do you think we could get
a little sleep now?
65
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,400
I do feel quite relaxed.
66
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,600
SHE CHUCKLES
67
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,840
Let's try. Hmm?
68
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,080
CONNIE SIGHS
69
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,440
DOORBELL RINGS
70
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,520
DOG BARKS
71
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,280
Why do you always do this?
72
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,040
It's very hard to get a slot.
73
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,400
On a Sunday too!
74
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,800
If I'd known you were leaving me,
I'd have pushed it to nine.
75
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,000
Do you want to accept
the substitutes?
76
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,480
I don't know, Connie, do you want
to accept the substitutes?
77
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,000
I'm sure the substitutes are fine.
78
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,920
Is there someone else?
No! I told you...
79
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,360
Oh, you check the eggs?
80
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,440
No, I'm sure the eggs are fine.
I'll check the eggs.
81
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,320
Yes, the eggs are fine.
82
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,640
So, er, who wants to do the honours?
83
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:19,960
Thanks.
84
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,400
Brilliant. Erm, have...have a great
weekend.
85
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,520
Of course, we're going to have to
cancel the holiday. You think so?
86
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,520
Well, we don't want it to be the
trip of a lifetime
87
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,760
for all the wrong reasons, do we?
88
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,040
No. I can see that...
89
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,480
Three whole weeks is a long time
to fix a smile, don't you think?
90
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,480
I like mine darker.
I know that.
91
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,440
And of course we're going to
lose all the deposits,
92
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,480
which is hundreds of pounds.
Thousands, actually.
93
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,440
The train tickets, the
hotel rooms...
94
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:35,600
Isn't it all insured?
95
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,040
Not against despair, no!
Sh! Albie can hear you...
96
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,280
Clearly, I should have thought
of that. I never said...
97
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:43,000
If my wife feels suffocated
all of a sudden, are we covered?!
98
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,120
Well, if you're so concerned
about the money...
99
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,040
Oh, Connie, do you really believe
the money is my main concern here?
100
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,880
TOAST RATTLES
101
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,080
MUSIC SEEPS FROM HEADPHONES
102
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,880
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
103
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,040
Afternoon!
104
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:07,320
Please don't bring food in here,
it's like a petri dish.
105
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,480
And open the window.
106
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,000
Ah!
107
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,080
Birds have been smoking
on the windowsill again, I see.
108
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,840
Swallows rolling
their own little cigarettes.
109
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,960
You can't hear anything I say,
can you?
110
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,120
Little bit of news.
111
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,200
Mum's leaving me.
112
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,560
I'm going to the dump.
113
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,640
Got anything for the dump?
114
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,720
No?
115
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,400
OK, fine, you stay there...
116
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,840
..all day.
117
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,440
What's up with him?
118
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,240
Nothing. Just fancied going to the
dump - his fortress of solitude.
119
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,200
MUSIC: Cosi Fan Tutte K.588
by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
120
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,360
MUSIC QUIETENS, KNOCK ON GLASS
121
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,560
Come on. Come on.
122
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,560
MUSIC STOPS
123
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,880
MUSIC RECOMMENCES
124
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,360
That's better.
125
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,240
Better e-mail those hotels,
see what I can salvage...
126
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,600
Douglas, let's go for a walk.
127
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,720
Come on, come on.
128
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,160
Should one of us...move out or
check into a hotel?
129
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,040
That's what you're meant to do,
isn't it?
130
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,680
Do you want me to?
131
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,480
Well, I don't think
that's necessary.
132
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,560
Not while Albie's at home.
133
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,880
Can you stand it until the autumn?
I think so.
134
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,160
Look, here's the thing, though.
Bear with me.
135
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,840
I think we should still go.
136
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,080
On holiday?
For Albie's sake.
137
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,800
We're going on holiday for the sake
of the kid? Why not?
138
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,120
You've done all that planning,
139
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,760
and it'd be good for you and Albie
to spend some time together,
140
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,360
be a nice memory,
before he goes to college.
141
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,840
And maybe if he flunks his art exam,
142
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,520
we could have another year
of marriage.
143
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,960
But then maybe you can't flunk art.
What is there to get wrong?
144
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,600
You see, this is exactly why
you and I...
145
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,920
And when we come back,
you don't even have to unpack.
146
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,080
You and Albie can just chuck
your suitcases into the taxi.
147
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,400
Let's have this one last
summer...as a family.
148
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,960
No. I'm sorry. I don't think I can.
149
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:41,360
DISTORTED RINGING
150
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,680
Douglas, you're late!
151
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,200
I came straight from the lab!
152
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,400
It looks like it. Cords and checks.
153
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,000
What is this shirt?
Is it graph paper?
154
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,120
You look like something out
of Millets' catalogue.
155
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,760
You're going to have to go home
and change.
156
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,280
If I go home, I won't come back.
Fine!
157
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,800
Oh, who knits a tie?
158
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,120
Honestly, Douglas,
I love you, but you're a liability.
159
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,160
Come here.
160
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,920
Connie Moore. What?
161
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,080
Connie Moore. Connie.
Who's Connie?
162
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,080
That's who you're sitting next to.
163
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,120
She's newly single, she's smart,
she's funny, she's intelligent...
164
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,800
You promised you wouldn't do
this again.
165
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,040
And the best thing is, she's not
a snob about how people look.
166
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,400
No, no, I'm off.
OK, too late!
167
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:31,400
Everyone... Everyone!
This is my brother Douglas.
168
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,480
GUESTS: Hey!
169
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,120
Be nice to him, he's very shy.
I'm not shy! Connie!
170
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,920
No. Can you just make room?
171
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,480
INDISTINCT CHATTER
172
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:49,840
Hello. Hello!
173
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,720
GUESTS APPLAUD AND CHEER
174
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,760
So, you're a, er, scientist?
Er, yeah, that's right.
175
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,760
An evil scientist or mad scientist?
I alternate.
176
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,240
Oh.
177
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,960
WHISPERS: I can't really talk
about it.
178
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,120
WHISPERS: Oh, is it a
military-industrial thing.
179
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,480
Too dull. My sister's torn up
my list.
180
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,520
List?
Conversational gambits.
181
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,120
An actual written-down list?
182
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,880
In my head. "Where do you live?
How do you know Karen?
183
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,160
"What do you do for a living?"
184
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,600
Let's skip that part.
Well, now you have to tell me.
185
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:29,440
Well, it's not a living,
but I trained as an artist.
186
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,520
I still do it,
I just always feel stupid saying it.
187
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,960
Oh, is that watercolours
or oils or...?
188
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,720
CHUCKLING
"Watercolours and..."?
189
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,760
It's a bit more complicated than
that, mate.
190
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,400
Jake's a kind of artist too.
Yeah.
191
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,720
Trapeze artist, yeah.
In a circus.
192
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,040
How do you join a circus?
193
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,840
Is it... Is it just a question of
running away to it or...?
194
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,120
Well, I mean, do you...do you want
the long version or the....
195
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,800
Short version. Short version. Yeah.
196
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,880
LAUGHTER
The scientific name is
197
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:04,560
Drosophila melanogaster,
aka the common fruit fly.
198
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,040
Oh.
199
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,880
Flies.
200
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,400
Want to move seats?
201
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,040
No. Keep going.
202
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,440
OK, er, well,
we're investigating mutagens.
203
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,600
So we're using chemical agents
to induce genetic mutation...
204
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,000
Why would you mutate a fruit fly?
That's not natural.
205
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,040
Well, there's nothing inherently
unnatural about mutation.
206
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,880
It's just another word for
evolution...
207
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,960
It's... It's like fungicides,
pesticides.
208
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,440
You know, it's...it's wicked.
209
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,000
LAUGHS: I don't think a chemical
compound can be wicked in itself.
210
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,200
It can be used irresponsibly
or foolishly.
211
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,640
We've all lost touch with,
you know, our...our roots.
212
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,360
Nobody knows what a carrot
tastes like any more.
213
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,480
Erm, sorry, I've lost track...
Everything's chemical.
214
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,320
Everything IS a chemical.
215
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,840
Mm. Carrots are chemicals.
216
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,600
Hmm. Karen's pasta bake is
a chemical. Er...
217
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,840
You're chemical.
Oh, I'm not.
218
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,520
You're 65% oxygen, 18% carbon...
219
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,880
Don't try and limit me...
But it's literally true!
220
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,600
But still, I think we'd all be
better off if scientists,
221
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,720
or you lot, stop mucking about
with all this stuff.
222
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,400
DOUGLAS EXHALES
223
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:13,400
OK, let's say, one day,
you're up there, on your trapeze.
224
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,880
God forbid, something goes wrong
and you break your legs.
225
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,120
And you're in hospital
and you're in chronic pain
226
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,440
and you pick up an infection
227
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:26,720
and the only solution
is to amputate.
228
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,160
And let's say you refuse any kind of
so-called "chemical intervention",
229
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,320
that's antibiotics, pain relief,
anaesthetic.
230
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,880
And let's say you die.
231
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,280
You die in AGONY.
232
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,240
And your family and friends
are rightly distraught,
233
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,440
but, "Thank God," they'll say,
"he may be dead,
234
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:52,040
"but thank God there was
no mucking about with stuff."
235
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,440
COUGHING,
CLEARING OF THROAT
236
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,800
Let's sit soft.
237
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,440
I wish I knew about science.
238
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,960
I don't know why the sky is blue
239
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,160
or the difference
between an atom and a molecule.
240
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,520
My niece asked me
why the sea comes in and out,
241
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,800
and I told her it was something
to do with magnets.
242
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,120
It is magnets, isn't it?
243
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,960
Or...gravity
acting on large bodies of water.
244
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,000
Er, are you...are you all right?
245
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,360
Yes, yeah, sorry. It's just, well...
246
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,880
..chemicals.
247
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,520
OK, yes, I wondered why my sister
kept touching my face.
248
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,720
Yeah, this is the answer.
249
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,840
I saw your pupils dilate and I
thought, "Well, that's a first..."
250
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,080
Did you want to...?
251
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,400
No, I've had an indigestion tablet.
252
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,280
Cheeky half, for the pasta bake.
253
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,080
Has it kicked in yet?
I think it was a dud!
254
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,440
Of course, the interesting fact
about...
255
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,680
I think your sister's trying
to fix us up.
256
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,440
I got that impression too.
257
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,200
She thinks I'd be good for you,
or you'd be good for me, or...
258
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,600
Either way, nothing's going to
happen.
259
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,360
No, I wasn't expecting it to.
260
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,960
No, I mean you're clearly brilliant,
and it is such a relief
261
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,960
to talk to someone who actually
knows something - a proper grown-up.
262
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:08,040
Grown-up sounds a bit dull.
No, no, believe me, it isn't.
263
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,400
I'm on the rebound.
264
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,160
Bad break-up, you see.
No, yeah, no, I understand. I do.
265
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,480
CONNIE CLEARS HER THROAT
266
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,040
Gosh, well, erm...
267
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,320
..I should probably head off
anyway...
268
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,480
Douglas...
269
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,800
..would you, erm, walk home with me?
270
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,840
Of course, yeah. Where do you live?
Whitechapel. That's eight miles.
271
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,880
I just want to walk, clear my head.
Do you mind?
272
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,960
Not at all.
Erm, I'll just tell Karen.
273
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,240
No, let's make a French exit.
274
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,000
What's a French exit? This.
275
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,760
THEY CHUCKLE
276
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,920
ALARM CLOCK RINGS
277
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,080
Hmm, hang on a sec.
278
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,280
Have a good day.
279
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,400
Bye. Bye.
280
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,640
So I'll see you... Yeah.
281
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,280
What time will you...? Usual.
282
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,520
OK, I'm off.
283
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,000
Room.
284
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,040
When I get back.
285
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,680
Dad?
286
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,800
What's wrong?
287
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,840
HE SCOFFS
288
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,600
ENGINE STARTS
289
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,400
DOG YELPS
290
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,360
YELPING CONTINUES
291
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,680
Connie!
292
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,680
SHE SIGHS
293
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,800
Douglas.
294
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,800
Connie! Connie! Connie!
Connie, you're right.
295
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,880
We should still go on holiday.
296
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,640
Do the grand tour, for Albie's sake
as much as anything...
297
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,080
But not just Albie's sake.
298
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,760
No, for all our sakes,
like you said...
299
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,520
HORN BEEPS
..it is the last time and
300
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,520
maybe I haven't been
paying attention.
301
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,680
BEEPING CONTINUES
Can you give us one minute?!
302
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,480
But I'm noticing now,
303
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,120
and whatever happens in the autumn,
304
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,000
we'll have this last summer
together.
305
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,760
I'm not wearing shoes.
HORN BEEPS
306
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,600
There's probably glass.
I should go back.
307
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,000
But I did just want to say that I...
BEEPING CONTINUES
308
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,840
SHOUTS: Can you give us one moment,
please?!
309
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,720
I just wanted to say...
Let's not do this here.
310
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,680
I'm driving off now. Here I go.
311
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,920
Show you can change.
312
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:05,360
One - never be too tired or not
in the mood.
313
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,840
Two...
314
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,000
Albie!
315
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,200
..avoid conflict with Albie.
316
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,840
Be interested.
Good humour at all times.
317
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,000
Albie, can you bring your stuff?
318
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,440
Three - try new things.
319
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,680
Unusual foods late at night.
Be open-minded.
320
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,080
Ah, you're going to bring your
guitar? Is that all right?
321
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,960
Yeah. Of course. That's great!
322
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,920
Four - it's not necessary to be
right about everything,
323
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,560
even when clearly right.
324
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,960
You know who'll be carrying
this across Europe, don't you?
325
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,360
You mustn't panic -
he wants to busk.
326
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,360
Well, I suppose there are worse
things he could do.
327
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,280
I'm sure he'll do those too.
328
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,880
Five - be organised but maintain
a sense of fun
329
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,200
and spontaneity.
330
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:55,760
Six - at all times be aware of
Connie. Talk and listen.
331
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,760
Look. It's our emotional baggage.
Hmm!
332
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,000
It's exciting, isn't it? It is!
333
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,800
All those cities...
Three whole weeks...
334
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,640
No, no, sorry, you say it.
Oh, nothing.
335
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,920
Just I'm glad we're doing this.
Me too.
336
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,600
We'll have fun. See the sights.
337
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,240
You can talk to Albie.
338
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,720
I do talk to Albie.
A conversation in a calm voice.
339
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,560
OK.
340
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,080
So we're in France exactly...
341
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,640
..now.
342
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,240
PHONE VIBRATES
343
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,320
..or maybe the border's halfway
through the tunnel.
344
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,080
They ought to have a sign,
except no-one would see it.
345
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,720
Who designed the Channel Tunnel?
Nobody knows, do they?
346
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,440
If it was a bridge we'd know.
347
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,960
Bridges are show-offs,
but a good tunnel - underrated.
348
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,320
All that rock and water
over your head
349
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,240
and yet you feel completely safe.
350
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,800
I don't feel safe.
351
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,880
DOUGLAS LAUGHS,
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
352
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,160
HE DRUMS TABLE
353
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,520
Look at us, three weeks,
six countries, 12 cities.
354
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,400
We're like, I don't know, U2!
355
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,720
I hope we get a copy of that -
the coffee cup!
356
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,040
He's experimenting. It's what
he's meant to do at his age.
357
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,800
Three years to study photography.
Can't he just read the manual?
358
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,280
I know! It's not that sort of
photography...
359
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,280
It's photography AND art.
360
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,520
And he's very talented.
361
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,440
I just don't think he's ever taken
a single picture of me.
362
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,120
Sees an old fridge in a skip
and he's snapping away,
363
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,720
but his own father...
Ask him, then. Hmm?
364
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,760
Well, if you'd like him to take your
photograph,
365
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,960
all you have to do is ask him.
366
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,680
No, I don't want to be photographed.
367
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,000
Well, he thinks
you're not interested.
368
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,360
Go on.
369
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,520
Sorry.
370
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,120
May I see?
371
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,720
Mmm! All in focus.
372
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,800
Just trying stuff out.
It's sort of abstract, isn't it?
373
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,040
When we get to Paris,
I want lots of the Eiffel Tower
374
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,560
with me sort of leaning against it.
375
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,400
Of course, as a career it's insane -
art.
376
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,600
No-one makes a living. At least you
get to do the thing you love.
377
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,800
Bio...? Biochemistry.
378
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,360
Yeah, literally the chemistry
of life.
379
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,160
Every living thing.
What's more interesting than that?
380
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,840
Even as a kid, I loved it.
381
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,640
I used to get these magazines,
World Of Wonder and Amazing Science,
382
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,280
just fun facts about protein, how
to make a battery out of a lemon.
383
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,120
You can do that?
I can, if you ever need me to...
384
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,760
At that age it all goes in.
I used...
385
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,040
Oh, God. I used to fantasise about
386
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,120
having some sudden
beautiful realisation,
387
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:52,880
perpetual motion or
clean, safe fission, time travel...
388
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,920
Are you all right?
Er, yes, of course.
389
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,720
Sorry, it's... I'm just a bit buzzy.
390
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,480
Should I stop talking?
391
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,880
No, no, you're bringing me down,
er, in a good way.
392
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,960
Do you actually have
any idea where we're going?
393
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,840
The first stop is Paris -
the food, the culture, the romance.
394
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,240
North to Amsterdam for the museums,
overnight to Munich,
395
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,600
very exciting, then hop over
the Alps to Venice,
396
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,720
Bologna, Siena and Florence.
397
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,280
And then down to the glory that
is Rome,
398
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,160
south to Naples,
and still there's more!
399
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,000
For the first time a flight -
Madrid, Barcelona,
400
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,320
then across the border to Marseille
and back to Paris.
401
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:41,960
Keep an eye on your bags.
402
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,440
Every station we've ever been to,
403
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,160
your father says,
"Keep an eye on your bags."
404
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,400
Wallets too. It's...
405
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,480
CONNIE AND ALBIE:
...Pickpocket Central! Yeah.
406
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,840
Et voila!
407
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,640
Hotel Bontemps.
408
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,240
Literally Good-Times Hotel.
409
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,000
Technically two-stars,
but with four-star reviews.
410
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:13,840
So...I thought I'd save some money
and put us all in the same room.
411
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,160
You're kidding me!
412
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,040
There's bunk beds, or you can
squeeze in with me and your mum.
413
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,560
I'm sorry, but I refuse to
sleep in a...
414
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:23,800
We're next door.
415
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,840
OK. Thanks, Dad.
416
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,800
Don't touch the minibar,
the mark-up's outrageous.
417
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,960
Remember, your father can hear a
minibar open from three rooms away.
418
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,520
Exactly. Buy stuff outside and
smuggle it in, like everyone else.
419
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,720
Bunk beds! Such a dad joke.
420
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,960
What do you think?
It's very nice.
421
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:56,080
Eugh! A bit more pubic hair
than I'd want in a hotel room.
422
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,000
All in all, I'd have preferred
a chocolate on my pillow.
423
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,240
You're right.
424
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,360
Where are you going?
425
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,040
I'm going to go to reception and ask
them to clean the room. Hold on.
426
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,520
Let's rest a moment.
427
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:13,400
I just want everything
to be perfect. I sense that.
428
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,160
But it won't be, not all the time.
429
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,320
I don't mind.
430
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,360
SHE SIGHS
431
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,480
I caught myself napping
the other day,
432
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,520
in the armchair, in the middle
of the afternoon.
433
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:26,600
Never done that before.
434
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,480
I thought, "Oh, here we go.
I'm becoming a woman who naps."
435
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,960
It's the death of the cell.
436
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,440
Slowing down, it's bound to happen.
437
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,840
Already?
We're lucky to make it this far.
438
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,760
In the 15th century,
we'd be a miracle.
439
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,280
Like ancient gods.
440
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,160
Well, that's OK, then.
441
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,800
I just mean it's not a surprise.
442
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,560
I expected you to get older.
443
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,880
It's still you.
444
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,120
I always thought, "Albie leaves
home, we have time together,
445
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:00,160
"travel, go for long walks...
446
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:07,160
"...and then eventually -
slow down, get old,
447
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,160
"look after each other and die...
448
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,680
"...short illness or a fall."
449
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,360
I realise, as a vision of
our future,
450
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:20,600
I'm not necessarily selling
the idea.
451
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,880
Let's not think too much about it.
452
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,520
Let's make it a rule.
453
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,880
Live in the moment!
Yeah, yeah.
454
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,200
I'd better just check on Albie.
455
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,000
DOOR CLOSES
456
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,600
What do you mean, you're not coming?
I want to do my own thing.
457
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,440
The reservation's for three people.
458
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,640
They can remove a chair.
What are you going to do instead?
459
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,040
Walk around, explore.
460
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,120
Explore with us.
Dad, I don't want to.
461
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:00,320
The whole reason we're here is
to spend time together as a family.
462
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,960
We spend plenty of time together...
Not in Paris! Douglas...
463
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,360
What's different about Paris?
464
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,720
Money for one thing. Do you have
any idea how much all this costs?
465
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,800
Douglas! The... The money's not
important!
466
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:10,960
Why bring it up, then?
467
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,560
Because I want it to
be the three of us.
468
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,800
Dad, I've basically come
backpacking with my parents.
469
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,640
You have to give me a bit of time
to myself. Douglas...
470
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,680
..please, take me out to dinner.
471
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,960
There you go. It's date night.
472
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,600
You can settle the whole
tunnels-versus-bridges thing.
473
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,240
I'll see you at breakfast.
474
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,720
Up at eight sharp!
475
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,840
On the streets at 8:45.
476
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,600
We're beating the crowds!
477
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,160
Ready?
478
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,880
Has Albie got any friends in Paris?
479
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,400
I think friends
means something different now.
480
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,160
I mean, he goes online and writes,
"I'm in Paris,"
481
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,760
and someone says, "My friend's in
Paris, you should meet," so he does.
482
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,240
Sounds terrifying.
I don't know.
483
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,840
All those new people.
Maybe it's easier when you're young.
484
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,320
I found it terrifying
when I was young as well.
485
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,640
Yes, me too. Really?
486
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,880
You always seemed like you could
talk to anyone.
487
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,920
Well, most of the time
I was drunk...
488
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,600
..or off my face on something.
489
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,480
But I'm sober now.
490
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,000
Sorry about that.
491
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,360
Bit embarrassing.
Oh, I don't mind.
492
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,640
My friends always say,
"Take this pill,
493
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:15,240
"have one more drink,
lose those inhibitions."
494
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,920
I want something that'll
give them back.
495
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,080
Imagine waking up, nice clear head,
thinking,
496
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,360
"God, I was so inhibited
last night."
497
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,320
Actually, that's how I do wake up.
SHE LAUGHS
498
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,280
And doesn't that feel incredible?
499
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:32,760
Not always.
500
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,040
I think it sounds like bliss.
501
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,960
This walk is ridiculous.
You OK to keep going?
502
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,400
Of course.
503
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,280
How far is that now?
504
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,840
8,459, just under.
505
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,520
What I don't understand is...
Oh, no.
506
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:56,840
Go on.
507
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,200
Surely you know how far you've
walked
508
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,000
because you've walked that far.
509
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,680
It's about goals, measurable data.
510
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,120
Maybe we'll cross 10K
on the way home.
511
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,760
You look very beautiful, by the way.
512
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,280
That's the candles.
513
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,960
In the 15th century, I'm a miracle.
514
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:23,040
Look, they've got
an Edith Piaf burger.
515
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,560
Probably the only thing...
516
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:25,840
BOTH: ..she regrets.
517
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,800
All dad jokes from now on.
518
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,400
I like dad jokes.
519
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,760
You look nice too, by the way.
520
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,160
Tie too much? Not at all.
521
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,000
You've got the job!
522
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,640
C'est possible avoir deux verres
de Champagne aussi peut etre?
523
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,800
FRENCH ACCENT:
I'll, er, bring them straight away.
524
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,440
How do they know I'm English?
525
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,000
C'est un mystere!
526
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,280
Maybe if I'd had lessons, like you.
527
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,880
I didn't have lessons -
I learnt it from French people.
528
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,600
French boys. 20-year-old French boys
with skinny chests and Gauloises.
529
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,840
Not at all. It really wasn't like
that,
530
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,600
and they weren't boyfriends.
531
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,720
It was more,
"Je t'aime mais comme un ami."
532
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,160
What's that?
"I love you but as a friend."
533
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:13,280
Long time ago now.
534
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,000
It was all a bit of a waste of time,
all that travelling around,
535
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,680
instead of getting on with stuff.
536
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,720
At least you were doing
something useful.
537
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,760
Me and my fruit-fly friends?
Not that useful in the end.
538
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,520
Bit of a plodder, really.
539
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,160
Douglas!
I know. In the moment.
540
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,720
So, tell me something new.
541
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,560
Merci. Thank you.
542
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,400
Let's get hammered, shall we?
543
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,200
Are you sure?
544
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,600
Of course, why not?
545
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,840
Doesn't seem very dignified.
546
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:02,760
CONNIE LAUGHS
547
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,520
What about my 10,000 steps?
Oh, forget about the steps!
548
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,560
This is me, as they say.
549
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,040
Thanks for walking me home.
550
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,600
Feel more sober. Saner.
551
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,160
If you hadn't been around,
I'd have just called my ex, so...
552
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,520
It's only four, you could still
catch him.
553
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,840
I think I'll leave it.
554
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,840
Well, I had a nice time.
I didn't refer to my list once.
555
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,880
Throw the list away, Douglas.
556
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,320
There's a night bus, isn't there?
557
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,200
What, back to Balham? Yes.
558
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,760
I'm working tomorrow,
so school night.
559
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:57,120
The Trafalgar Square and then N77.
Douglas...
560
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,200
..I am literally inviting you up
to see my etchings.
561
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,320
Oh.
562
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:09,920
No. Oh.
563
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,960
Really?
564
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,240
Oh, that turns the bathroom
light on.
565
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,640
This wiring's the work of a maniac.
What happens if...?
566
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,760
Why don't you just...?
567
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,040
Oh, hello.
568
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,680
SHE CHUCKLES
569
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,440
All right!
570
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,720
DOUGLAS MOANS
571
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,520
What? Stop a second. You OK?
572
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,960
Yes. It's...
573
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,240
What? Complimentary chocolate.
574
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:47,480
Oh. Thanks. Later.
575
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,040
SHE LAUGHS
576
00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,960
HE GRUNTS
577
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:06,360
Bit waxy.
578
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,800
Really is the worst thing you can
eat before you go to sleep.
579
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,160
We don't have to eat it.
Yes, we do - it's free.
580
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,920
Anyway, it's too late now.
581
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,840
I'm going to walk it off. 9,973.
582
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,120
So near!
583
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,120
Hmm, I should walk up and down
the corridor.
584
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,800
You can, but I won't
let you back in.
585
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,480
Fair enough.
586
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,880
I'm sorry this is confusing.
I'm confused too.
587
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,160
The great thing is, we're talking.
588
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,520
Though let's stop now.
589
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,880
SIREN IN DISTANCE
590
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,200
GUITAR STRUMMING NEXT DOOR,
CONNIE SIGHS
591
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,000
For Christ's sake, Albie.
592
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,640
It's two in the morning.
Should I go in there?
593
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,760
Not yet, not if he's with people.
594
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,920
How many's he got in there?
I'm going to call reception.
595
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,680
No! Don't inform on your own son.
Just text him.
596
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,000
GUITAR STRUMMING STOPS
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
597
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,280
It's stopped.
598
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,400
DOUGLAS GRUNTS
Yeah.
599
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,480
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
600
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,880
Oh, no.
CREAKING CONTINUES
601
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:09,240
Is that what I think it is?
I hope it is just two of them.
602
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,520
Oh, I'm going to text him.
603
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,760
What do you text in this situation?
604
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,440
It's not something
I've thought about.
605
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,880
Or e-mail?
GROANING FROM NEXT DOOR
606
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,680
He's not checking his e-mails!
607
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,920
Ah, OK, I'm going to text just,
"No."
608
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,040
All caps!
609
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,600
GROANING CONTINUES
I don't want to be a killjoy.
610
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,640
"No" and then a smiley face.
611
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,000
"Precautions" exclamation mark.
LAUGHS: Yeah.
612
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,080
Ahh, no.
613
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,200
SHE SIGHS
614
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,640
Let's just...
615
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,240
GROANING INTENSIFIES NEXT DOOR
616
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:01,920
Should we have that talk?
617
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,880
What talk? The sex talk.
618
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,440
OK.
619
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,120
Well, my feeling is that while you
and I
620
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,840
are still together and sharing
a bed, there's no reason why...
621
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,280
I meant with Albie. Oh.
622
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,680
Well, if last night taught us
anything,
623
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,280
it's that it's a little late
for that.
624
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,520
Even so, I'm going to talk to
him later. Really? OK.
625
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,800
Do we need to talk? Mum? Dad?
626
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:28,640
This is my friend.
Hi! I'm Kat, pleased to meet you.
627
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,040
Kat, as in Katherine?
628
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,200
Er, no-one's called me
that since I was five.
629
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,840
You're Connie, yeah?
630
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,280
Oh!
CONNIE LAUGHS
631
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,920
Albie's right, you are gorgeous.
Well...
632
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,280
As for you, Douglas...
633
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,000
SHE GROWLS,
AWKWARD LAUGHTER
634
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,560
So, erm, I hear talk
of a breakfast buffet?
635
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,480
It's so cool how you guys
can do this.
636
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,040
Inter-railing, but with your mum
and dad.
637
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,720
It's more of a grand tour, really.
638
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:00,960
Yeah, so Albie can see some art,
some architecture.
639
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,960
Oh, I don't know how you don't
all kill each other.
640
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,600
It's the first day, so...
641
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,680
What brings you to Paris, Kat?
642
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,880
Well, Connie, music -
music brings me to Paris.
643
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,520
All this free stuff,
it just goes on and on!
644
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,480
It's not free, exactly.
645
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:18,760
Kat's in a band.
646
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,400
Yes, we heard you last night.
647
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,040
Ah, thank you!
648
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,920
Oh, you didn't like it.
649
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,360
You play very well,
it was just a little late.
650
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,880
Why do they only have
these tiny glasses?
651
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,480
Yeah, you've got to keep filling
them up.
652
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,000
Hmm. You could just lie underneath
and open the tap.
653
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,240
So where are the band?
654
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:38,040
Oh, they've all gone back home.
655
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,360
I thought I'd stay on,
bum my way round Europe.
656
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,840
That's how I met Albie.
657
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,160
He was on my spot,
so, er, I set him straight,
658
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,960
we had a chat and one thing led
to another, as they say.
659
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,000
So you're a busker, then?
I prefer a "street musician".
660
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,800
Busking suggests a lack of,
er, professionalism.
661
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,520
Oh! Breakfast and lunch.
662
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,000
Oh, look at this ham!
663
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,040
I'm essentially a vegan, with
the exception of cured meats.
664
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,160
Sorry, Kat. Can you put some of that
back? Hm?
665
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,240
Just maybe don't put stuff
in your pockets.
666
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,400
WHISPERS: Jesus!
667
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,040
Are you accusing me of stealing?
He didn't say stealing.
668
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,720
It's meant to be eaten on the
premises, otherwise it's anarchy.
669
00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:23,760
I'm a thief?
670
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,560
No, you're just getting
carried away.
671
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,240
It's not how buffets work.
It's a system of mutual trust.
672
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:30,000
It only gets stale
and thrown away.
673
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,120
Not these, not the preserves,
that's why they're called preserves!
674
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,200
Take one by all means,
the honey or the jam.
675
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:38,480
OK.
676
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,320
I'm so embarrassed.
677
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,280
Let's... Let's just all go
and sit down, shall we?
678
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,480
How do your parents feel
about you travelling, Kat?
679
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,600
Dad! What?
680
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,040
Search me, Douglas,
haven't seen them for three years.
681
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,400
What, you haven't seen your parents
for three years? That's terrible.
682
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,040
Not for me it isn't.
For me it's great.
683
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,160
Do you call them?
684
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,160
Mm-hm. My mum, twice a year,
Christmas and birthday.
685
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,160
Yours or hers? What?
686
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,880
Well, do you speak to your mother
on your birthday or her birthday?
687
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,000
Oh. Hers. It's her treat.
688
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,400
Connie, Albie says that you used to
be an artist but you gave it all up.
689
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,280
Oh, well, I was never really
an artist.
690
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,480
You sold paintings.
A few. To friends, to my parents.
691
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,160
But I didn't really make a living.
692
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,640
You're still artistic, Connie.
693
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,160
I work in community arts.
694
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:35,280
I, erm... I don't create anything
myself, just facilitate.
695
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,480
Yes, that's the word.
I facilitate others. Hmm.
696
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,200
Dougie, so you're an evil scientist.
697
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,000
Big pharma, yeah?
698
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,240
I work in the pharmaceutical
industry, yes,
699
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:50,480
in research and development.
700
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,960
I know some of Albie's concerns
about the ethics of this...
701
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,560
I didn't say anything!
702
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,640
Don't get at me.
I just said what you do.
703
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,120
All I can say is,
let's just imagine if, God forbid,
704
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:00,920
you should require
some new medicine,
705
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,200
developed by the evil corporation,
let's just, er...
706
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,600
ALBIE SIGHS
707
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,200
Let's just say,
I think it's important work,
708
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,320
but there's always room
for improvement.
709
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,480
Shall we go?
710
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:17,920
OK.
711
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:21,600
I liked her.
712
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,440
Is that why you asked her to put
her breakfast back?
713
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,520
Not all of it.
714
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,360
"The buffet system is
a system of trust."
715
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,040
Was that too much?
716
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,280
Oh, God, look at him.
Our boy's all grown up.
717
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,800
Bye, guys! See you around, maybe.
718
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,640
Douglas, check it out.
719
00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:40,880
Stop! Thief!
720
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:44,480
Bye.
721
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,600
We liked her. She's got a very
quirky view of the world.
722
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,520
So will you see each other again,
do you think?
723
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,760
You know it's not unnatural -
724
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,960
two adults talking
about relationships.
725
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,160
It is unnatural. I'm your son.
726
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,640
You're a man now.
727
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,480
Technically, you could fight in
a war.
728
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,040
Well, I would rather fight in a war
than have this conversation!
729
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,160
DOUGLAS LAUGHS
730
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,120
Your mother and you talk all the
time! That's different!
731
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,120
Well, it needn't be.
732
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,640
I'm trying to be more open.
733
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,040
Well, can you close it down, please?
734
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,400
Let's just get there, shall we?
735
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,960
You see, this is why we got up
early - to beat the crowds.
736
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,440
This holiday, are we going to
do anything spontaneous?
737
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:31,960
Er, I hadn't planned to.
738
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:36,080
Now, Albie, if you're serious about
art, this is the place.
739
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,520
We're doing this for your sake.
740
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,720
All our sakes. Let's start.
741
00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:44,720
Can't do the whole thing,
742
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:48,160
so the trick is to focus on
a few key paintings.
743
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,200
Or...just see what happens.
744
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,440
MUSIC: King Arthur Z.628 Act 3
by Henry Purcell
745
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,800
Well, at least someone's having
a worse holiday than us.
746
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,120
No, I'm having a nice time.
747
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:11,240
Really.
748
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,680
A lot going on, isn't there?
749
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,360
A lot going on.
750
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,200
Awful situation.
751
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,880
Nightmare to frame.
ALBIE SIGHS
752
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,120
I like this one.
753
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,200
Look, all the different vegetables.
It's very original.
754
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:57,480
It's kitsch.
755
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,840
But if you had to
eat one of the four?
756
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,240
2,839 steps - feels like more.
757
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,440
Why are art galleries so exhausting?
Is it all the pondering?
758
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,400
You could wait in the cafe,
if you're bored.
759
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,680
No, I'm not bored, no.
760
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,000
Just wish I knew how long
you're meant to look
761
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,400
and what you're meant to say.
762
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,920
Don't say anything. Just look.
763
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,160
Look around you.
764
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,600
The Mona Lisa's back there.
765
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,120
Oh, let's leave it. Too many people.
You know what it looks like.
766
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,160
OK.
767
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,000
Seems strange, being in the Louvre
and not seeing...
768
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,880
It's smaller than you think, and
the eyes follow you round the room.
769
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:52,880
Let's find something new.
770
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,240
OK.
771
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,560
WHISPERS: I really want to tick it
off. I know!
772
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:04,840
Do we need to talk about last night?
Hm?
773
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,200
Mum?
774
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,720
Uh-huh.
775
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,400
TRAIN RATTLES PAST
776
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,000
YOUNGER DOUGLAS: I like art.
777
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,160
I just don't know anything about it.
778
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,040
You don't have to know anything.
779
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,480
The only thing hanging on my wall
is a fire extinguisher.
780
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,240
Just a great blank wall of magnolia.
781
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:35,400
I'll have to do something about that
before you come round.
782
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,640
What about those? Oh, er, no,
we don't talk about those.
783
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,080
Art school stuff, it's all rubbish,
just ripped-off from other people.
784
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,200
They're wonderful!
785
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,440
Oh, well, like you said,
you don't know anything about art.
786
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,520
So...
I can tell when someone's good.
787
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:56,200
Can I buy one...
788
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:57,640
..for my wall?
789
00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,200
You're very nice.
790
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,760
Not on a first date.
791
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,080
HE EXHALES
792
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,880
Mmm. I should go.
793
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:07,560
Oh. OK.
794
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:10,920
Well, it's Saturday -
can't you skive?
795
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,840
No, have to go to the lab.
796
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:19,280
But are you...? Silly idea.
797
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:23,840
Are you busy?
798
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,600
60% of the genes responsible
for human disease
799
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:30,920
are found in Drosophila.
800
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:35,640
So, er, we can investigate
Parkinson's disease, Huntington's.
801
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,720
Hmm. It's exciting stuff.
802
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,280
So what am I looking for?
803
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,760
Wing shape, eye pigmentation,
changes in genital architecture...
804
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,320
Good name for a band.
805
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:46,360
WHISPERS: Go away!
806
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:52,040
And how do you examine
their genital architecture?
807
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,960
Usually knock them unconscious.
What, with tiny truncheons?
808
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,240
Carbon dioxide.
809
00:48:59,240 --> 00:49:02,160
Science, eh?
It's amazing, isn't it?
810
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:06,280
Least I've always thought so.
Amazing.
811
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,760
Best thing about them is they have
this very short,
812
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,960
straightforward reproductive cycle.
813
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,520
Many generations in a matter
of months.
814
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:20,680
Well, they are...very sexy.
815
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:25,520
Constantly at it, multiple partners,
drunk on rotten fruit.
816
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,440
It's like one of my sister's
parties.
817
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,520
FLIES BUZZ
818
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,120
And this is...?
819
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,000
The breeding room.
820
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,840
Oh. Mm.
821
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,360
The breeding room.
822
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,200
CLATTERING NEXT DOOR,
CONNIE MOANS
823
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,640
CONNIE LAUGHS
824
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:55,440
CONNIE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
825
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,000
ALBIE AND CONNIE CHAT
826
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,280
DRINK POURS
827
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,640
Here, this is for you.
From the minibar!
828
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,480
What's come over you?
I know. I'm like some oligarch.
829
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:28,520
Where's yours?
830
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,920
There's just one. I'm not insane.
You have it. I've brushed my teeth.
831
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,120
Is our son joining us tonight?
832
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,280
I guess so. Ask him.
833
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:39,520
He doesn't talk to me.
834
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:53,080
Put your phone down, please.
I'm reading.
835
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,000
"While many of Paris's Sichuan
restaurants turn down the heat
836
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:00,960
"for the local palate, food here
packs an intimidating punch."
837
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,920
Why would you want to be
intimidated by your food?
838
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,240
I'm sorry, I just couldn't face
any more steak or cheese.
839
00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:08,160
Intimidated then punched.
840
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,240
It's exciting,
eating out of your comfort zone.
841
00:51:10,240 --> 00:51:12,280
I don't see what's wrong
with being comfortable.
842
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,360
Oh, don't be like that.
Is there a menu in English?
843
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,160
ALBIE SIGHS
No, I'm not being...
844
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:20,800
I just don't see the point in
pretending that we're not tourists.
845
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:24,760
We are tourists, we're meant to see
the Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa,
846
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,360
that's why we're here.
847
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,760
Douglas!
848
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:29,520
I'll order for you.
849
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:34,280
Fine...just order sensibly, please.
850
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,160
Mmm!
851
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:46,720
Mm, Albie, this red stuff.
Tomato, I think.
852
00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:48,560
It's chilli, it's pure chilli.
853
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,720
Here, try these.
854
00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:53,000
Careful with the fingers. It burns.
855
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,320
Well, if it burns your fingers,
why would you put it in your mouth?!
856
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,600
Go on. Just take one.
857
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,080
HE GASPS,
ALBIE AND CONNIE LAUGH
858
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:09,760
MUFFLED: I can't feel my face!
859
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,920
It... Bit much?
860
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,120
Here, take mine.
It's completely numb.
861
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,120
Mm. Ah...
862
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:23,480
Well, Albie, it certainly does pack
a punch.
863
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:26,120
Personally, I'd prefer food
that doesn't actually injure you...
864
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,160
Douglas, you've not been injured
by your soup.
865
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:32,600
Don't use that!
Why? It's got chilli sauce on it!
866
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:36,960
Ow!
867
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,880
Ow, ow, ow!
868
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,000
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
869
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,120
HE GROANS
Sorry.
870
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,120
Ugh! Ow!
871
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:09,920
RESTAURANT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
872
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,760
CONNIE AND ALBIE LAUGH
873
00:53:33,720 --> 00:53:35,840
PHONE RINGS
874
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,960
Hello?
CONNIE, ON PHONE: Where are you?
875
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:41,680
Oh, just walking.
876
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:43,800
Wasn't really my thing, so...
877
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,400
But where exactly are you?
878
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,160
Towards the river, I don't know.
879
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,640
How far now? Hm?
880
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,280
Steps? Oh...
881
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,320
10,026.
882
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,560
Well, stop walking.
883
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:06,960
You disappeared.
884
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,400
Yes, I thought I'd make
a French exit.
885
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,600
It's only a French exit
if no-one notices.
886
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:13,920
Did you think we wouldn't?
887
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,760
Just don't think I can keep this up,
Connie.
888
00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:19,280
No?
889
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:22,800
Can't live in the moment
when the moment's so hard.
890
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:24,560
It's too confusing.
891
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,800
I'm sorry if I confused you.
Last night...
892
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,600
No, no, it's all right.
893
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:33,240
I mean, rather we tried than didn't.
I just...
894
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,000
..find the prospect of...
895
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,680
I just feel like
I'm losing you both.
896
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:44,840
I know.
897
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:52,960
YOUNGER CONNIE:
Can I tell you a secret?
898
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,800
You might not like it.
899
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:58,880
Erm... Can I say no?
900
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,240
'Fraid not.
901
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:03,840
I was going to end it today.
902
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,400
Oh.
903
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,800
Just the usual thing, "Lovely
to meet you, lots of fun,
904
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,200
"let's stay friends."
905
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,720
But now I find...the men I've known
before,
906
00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:16,240
as soon as they open their mouths,
907
00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:18,800
I think, "Oh, here we go,
one of those."
908
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,480
But there's nothing familiar
about you.
909
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,200
And you know things,
you ask questions,
910
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,720
you're so passionate about it
all...
911
00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:31,080
I'm sensing a "but".
912
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:33,920
It's not you, it's...
913
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,280
I'm not good at this.
Relationships.
914
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,640
Even the word
makes me feel claustrophobic.
915
00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:48,200
I need to know there's a way out,
916
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:50,320
and I don't want to get caught up
in something
917
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:53,920
that I can't leave without upsetting
both of us.
918
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:58,200
So, if we were to...carry on...
919
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:02,240
..you'd need to know
that was a possibility.
920
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,760
Am I making sense?
I think...
921
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,120
..it will be worth the risk.
922
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,520
Good.
923
00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:23,640
It's harder than I thought.
924
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,960
Going on holiday for the sake
of the kid?
925
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,000
Yeah.
926
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:30,440
Especially when the kid
doesn't even want to be here.
927
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:31,600
He does.
928
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,680
He just doesn't want to show it.
929
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:36,360
Maybe...
930
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,040
..maybe if there'd been four
of us...
931
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:42,920
..perhaps it would be less fraught.
932
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:45,960
There'd be more...
933
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:50,400
Maybe.
934
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:53,720
Do you think of her?
935
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,160
You know I do.
936
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,840
I think, "What would it be like,
937
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:02,920
"what would we be like,
if she were here?"
938
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,320
We'll never know.
939
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,680
It still sends you crazy, I'm sure.
940
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,360
Probably. Would I?
941
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:15,720
Now and then.
942
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,400
Come back to the hotel.
943
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,440
I think I might walk
around a bit longer.
944
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:24,120
Oh, you've walked far enough.
Oh, I can't sleep without you.
945
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,120
Or with me, apparently.
946
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,880
No, it's a dilemma.
947
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,480
Oh, come back and try,
and tomorrow...
948
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:34,960
Home...
949
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,280
..or Amsterdam?
950
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:41,600
Well, I don't want us to go home.
951
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,440
Amsterdam, then.
952
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:49,480
Amsterdam.
953
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:58,280
Doesn't have to be a party city.
954
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:02,120
It's also a conference city,
a perfectly civilised place.
955
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,760
Are you going to spend the whole
holiday walking 12 steps ahead?
956
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,920
Seriously, though, we're due
at the Anne Frank House at 5,
957
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,320
so if you want to see the tuli...
958
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,520
Hello, Petersens!
959
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:11,720
Oh, Christ!
960
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:12,800
Dad!
961
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:16,080
Or...I could show you
the real Amsterdam.
962
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,400
Er, no, no, we don't have time
for the real Amsterdam,
963
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:19,480
we're seeing this one.
964
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,280
Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's all calm...
Just calm down.
965
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:24,200
I am calm. He's the one who started
it.
966
00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:27,080
The problem with this city is,
there's too many fucking bikes.
967
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,480
HE GRUNTS
Oh, get off!
68039
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