Original subtitles

WwW.SubYab.CoM Jay, what you doing?

Stay where you are.

Sorry, sweetheart. Who are you?

Ohh. You are handsome.

Fuck-it!

Cheers, mate.

Wait, where are the police?

See they wanted me to plant a tracker on you guys,

but I knew that they were full of shit.

So, I stuck it in.

Mrs. D's fish instead.

No harm done.

You have two minutes to explain.

And it better be good.

Okay.

Kim.

There is this TV show called Crystal Maze and at the

end all the players

they have to stand in this big fucking Crystal

Dome thing.

Right!

Just give him a chance.

And they blow all these bits of silver and gold

shit into your face. But the trick is you only

have to catch the gold ones to win. If you catch

the silver ones you lose.

Okay, you can kill him.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...okay

I went to the police because

since dad died

I've just been fucking lost in the crystal wind.

Shit blowing in my face

and the only person who can help me separate the

gold from the silver, is that kid standing right there.

Look man, my loyalties are to Nicky and Beth

and

he wasn't exactly going to save himself, was he?

Because, well... love makes you do stupid shit.

Whoah! Hold your horses.

Sorry, permission to help a boy.

You do know I don't.

Yeah, that would be..

No, I think you're nice and everything.

I think you're nice.

Oh, thanks.

I just mean in the same way that I think that

that candle is nice.

Yeah, that's a lovely candle.

It looks nice.

It smells...

It's scented actually.

..like pine cones.

Wow.

I on-boarded it.

Okay, and I'm sorry, but when I realised what

they were up to I on-boarded it.

And out flew the devil just like Pandora

and her little wooden horse.

Beth babe, you are a lifesaver.

I thought we had an agreement.

Brooks!

What the fuck

do they want with Beth?

Hello, Alan.

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

What do you want?

I've got a cat actually.

Yeah, always bringing dead birds in.

Heads cut off.

Guts all over the fucking kitchen floor.

Apparently. He's supposed to be a gift.

We thought that was quite a bold choice on his behalf, you know what I mean?

You got your money and your fall guy.

Why are we even having this conversation?

No, because your little pal let the cat out of the bag.

Terry now knows that Ian did not kill Jimmy and

the money is nowhere to be seen.

You kept the money.

Oh my God.

So now I need you to bring me a little gift.

Otherwise, it won't be me calling you next time.

And Terry is a lot more vicious than her dad ever was.

Okay.

Meet me in Carl's caff in couple of hours. I'll send you the location.

You'll get your money and your dead little bird.

I appreciate that, Joe.

I really do.

Why are they at Beth's house? Is she okay?

I told you to give that money back, didn't I?

Now is your chance.

Go and get it.

We're leaving.

They'll be here soon.

Make sure Jay's ready with the money, over.

Roger that, Mom and for the record

I'm still super angry with you.

Roger that, Kim. Let's deal with that later.

Over and out.

Okay, please don't ask for my permission and then

say out before I had the chance to answer.

It's really annoying.

Copy that. Completely understood. Over and out.

You just spoke right over me. You do realise that?

Radio comms only, please Kimmy.

Thank you. Out.

You sure about this, bro?

They are at Beth's house man. I've got to do this.

But we seriously got to start talking about the business.

Get us up and running. You get me?

Shit. Hold this.

Please say out at the end of your messages. Out.

Out.

You alright?

What the fuck is going on, Jay?

I find half a million pounds in cash.

The two police detectives, with guns, are in our house

going through our stuff.

I'm trying to make it right.

Okay? I was just trying to

Look, I know you don't want to spend the rest of

your life with the geezer off the fish counter. I get that.

What are you on about?

You know I don't care about that.

Look, I got plans for me and you that's all I'm saying.

I don't need plans, Jay. I need my boyfriend to be honest with me.

Do you want to talk to me about honesty?

All right, if we're being honest then Beth, and you

really don't care about my job and all that,

then

marry me.

What?

No, serious. Marry me.

Jesus!

Jay. I... It's..

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Hey, just listen to me...

No, just forget it...

I have to go.

Jay!

Come here, man.

Okay, this is the place.

Alright. So when he comes out.

Could you.. Can you just stop doing that?

Let me do all the talking.

We need the money and him in the car.

Tompson!

Soorrrry.

God!

Cuz I hate it when places only serve dishonest

foreign food.

Yeah.

Like Halloumi.

Ehhh?

It's like stop pretending to be chicken your

cheesy bastard.

Who's that?

Here we go.

Get into the car, sweetheart.

I was told this was a bag-drop.

Well, we are not exactly going to do out here in the open.

Are we?

Do not leave that as the last line of argument.

Listen, this is the same conundrum, yeah

that I have with tomatoes.

Oh my God, don't get me started on tomatoes.

It is like... you're not a fruit, are you?

If you were, you'd be delicious of fruity

like don't go around with that.

I'm not a vegetable as..

Yeah, you know what. Listen - fuck tomatoes.

Fuck tomatoes.

Would you two, please shut the fuck..

Where's Kim?

There's cameras on the cafe.

If you get in the car.

We'll go somewhere quiet.

While we're still young. Whenever you're ready.

I'll drive. You shoot.

What do you want us to do?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe just take care to stay the

fuck out of my face and I'll really appreciate it.

Oiiii!

Are you with them bastards?

Get out of the fucking way?

Move!

Or what?

What's going on?

They're gonna kill you.

Could you not see that?

Take this?

Shit!

Fuck this!

Kim.

Take mine.

What are you doing?

I'm going to answer the shots.

SHITTT!!!

Shoot the bloody tires.

I'm trying. Hold it steady.

Magazine.

Watch my windscreen.

Watch my fucking windscreen.

Shit...shit...shit...shit

Shit...shit...shit...shit

Aaaahhhhhhh!

Whoooaaahhh!

Fuck!

Fuck-it!

We should to find somewhere to camp.

It'll be dark soon and still long drive to the cabin.

Who says we're going back to the cabin?

It's just somewhere safe to lie low make a plan. Okay?

Even you would agree with that, wouldn't you, dick wallet?

Dick wallet?

What's a dick wallet?

Right, that's decided then. We'll camp tonight

and we will leave for the cabin at first light.

Seriously, what's a dick wallet?

I think she means some sort of dystopian future

in which money no longer means anything.

Right.

And the only currency..

Yeah?

..is for some unknown reason

the savaged penes of your fallen enemies.

Right.

Which you could carry around in some kind of bespoke leather-bound

Dick wallet.

Right. Exactly!

Yeah. But I mean.

Cool, but

I think it would be more of a purse.

You have to tell him, you know.

About the business.

Yeah. I could tell him.

Or I could just change my life plans and start a

landscaping business to avoid having that conversation.

Okay.

I'll tell him.

I just need you to tell me exactly what to say

word for word.

It's easy. You just...

look him in the eye.

And you say:

Jay. You're my brother.

And you know how much I love you

and

care for you.

And I know this is really hard time for you,

but

I can't start a business with you, bro.

I've been offered an internship in London.

I'm really sorry man. I just..

What do I know about landscaping and with my hay fever I'd be terrible.

Compost gives me a rash.

I'm more of an indoor person.

I just think

Just....

I get it.

You got to do what's best for you.

Hey, don't feel bad about that.

Yeah?

Thanks, man.

He's right, you know.

When this is all over, you should do whatever you want.

Just don't undervalue what we have, that is all I ask?

Okay! I'm gonna go and get some more firewood.

Nicky, you coming?

Sure, you're okay?

I'm fine, kid.

Go on, go with Kim.

Beth's pregnant.

And she didn't tell me.

I mean, why would she?

I mean, what am I really going to offer her and a baby?

That business was the only chance I had, man.

Do me a favor. Close your eyes, Jay.

Now, just imagine

It's

You

and Beth

and the baby.

And... you're in a cabin in the woods.

There's nothing else.

No pressures.

No expectations.

No TV.

No money.

Nothing.

Just let all that melt away.

Cheers.

I'll leave that with you, Chump.

Yeah

All right, boss.

Well, let you know.

That was Terry.

She sending reinforcements.

She said if we don't find them then she'll take one of us instead.

I used to be a good cop, you know?

Life was a lot less complicated.

We're going to find this mob

and when we do

we're going to tell Terry that the money just

disappeared.

And then we're going to split it 50/50.

I swear.

If she finds out she'll kill us both.

I gave my whole life to Terry and her dad.

If I'm going to die alone.

I'd rather it was with an eight ball of coke in a beach rental in Malibu.

Do we understand each other?

50 / 50.

And

you have to promise to stop being such a grumpy prick.

I think I can manage that.

Thank you.

Now fuck off.

That was amazing. I can't believe I just said what I thought

and saying what I thought made the situation

10 times better.

I don't get it. It's that what people just do all of the time?

No, nobody does.

Well, how do you ever tell anyone what you want?

By dropping subtle hints and sighing loudly if they get it wrong.

Right. So if I wanted to kiss you now, how would I

go about it in your world?

You would spend six or seven months beating around the bush

and then just drink half a bottle of vodka and then

I'd like to kiss you now.

Oh.

Please.

My ways better.

See?

Wow!

That's number 16 well and truly crossed of the old list, ehh?

You read my book?

I'd say more like.. browsed

or leafed... really.

Dipped my toe in, even though it'll go 'the waters cold in here. I'm out.'

Say something.

You see, you can't trust him.

Kim!

Kim!

Nice one, dipshit.

Looks like we might get our little bird after all.

Where are those reinforcements?

Any minute now.

All right, then.