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TOSH.O FEATURES VIDEOS FROM
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THE INTERNET AND FOR A AUDIENCE.
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ENJOY.
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[
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♪
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A REVERSE NASSAR.
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THAT IS WHEN THE PATIENT GETS TO
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SEXUALLY ASSAULT THE DOCTOR.
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I'VE MISSED HAVING US ON AIR
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TOO.
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WELCOME FELLOW COVID-19
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SURVIVORS.
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I'VE DECIDED TO LET YOU INTO THE
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TOSH.O BUBBLE FOR ONE HALF HOUR.
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SINCE I CREATED THE SEASON OF
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MORNING BACK IN JANUARY, I NEVER
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IMAGINED WE'D CELEBRATE A
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MILLION DEATHS WORLDWIDE.
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WAY TO PUT A MOUTH ON IT DANIEL.
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TONIGHT YOU PROGRESSIVES WILL BE
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HAPPY TO KNOW THE FIRST EVER WEB
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LEGEND IS BLACK.
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IT SOMETHING IN YOUR HOUSE CAKE.
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THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU.
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AND THIS WEEK'S LUCKY SON OF A
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BITCH.
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NOW LET'S WATCH HER PUT THE HO
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IN COVID.
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WOULD I LOVE AN AGGRESSIVE DRY
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HANDY.
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WE SHOULD TREAT ALL OF OUR
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FRONTLINE WORKERS WITH THIS
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LEVEL OF GOD DAMN RESPECT.
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IT IS BETTER TO ASK ALLAH FOR
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PERMISSION.
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YOU WEARING A MARK ON TOP OF
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YOUR BURQA OR UNDERNEATH IT.
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BAD NEWS, WE HAVE TO RECEIVER
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YOUR HAND FOR DISHONORING YOUR
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HUSBAND.
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AS SOMEONE WHO GETS TESTED FIVE
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TIMES A DAY I KNOW HOW
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UNCOMFORTABLE IT CAN BE.
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SORRY, I'M JUST SCARED.
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I'M JUST CHECKING YOUR
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TEMPERATURE.
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NURSE/PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY.
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YOU'RE GOOD.
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NO FEVER.
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YOU APPEAR TO BE RUNNING HOT
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TODAY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
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THAT IS RON JEREMY'S PERSONAL
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PHYSICIAN SO HE'S USED TO IT.
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MOVING ON.
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NOBODY WANTS TO TOUCH ANYTHING
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THESE DAYS.
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IT IS SO LIGHT.
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LIKE WE DON'T --
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YEP, THE CREPT CDC RECOMMENDS
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USING JAZZ HANDS.
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THAT IS SO HEAVY.
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ROLLING LUGGAGE, HE'D BE DEAD
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RIGHT NOW.
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IT IS LIKE FINDING A [ BLEEP ]
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EARLY IN QUARANTINE.
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YOU CAN'T HESITATE.
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HE WAS PRESCRIBED OPIOIDS AND
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NOW HIS LIFE IS A RESOLVING DARE
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OF HEROIN RELAPSES.
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IRONY.
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I'M A HUGE GERMOPHOBE AND I'VE
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PERFECTED OPENING DOORS WITHOUT
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USING MY HANDS.
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AND JUST LIKE THAT I'VE BEEN
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BANNED FROM THE OFFICE OF CHRIS
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McCARTHY.
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I'M JOKING.
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I'VE NEVER MET THE MAN.
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I HEAR GREAT THINGS.
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OKAY, NO SOCKS, WHITE CROCKS,
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YOU KNOW THIS GUY [ BLEEP ].
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ARE YOU READY?
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IT IS CALLED A DRIVEWAY.
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ELIN NORDEGREN DESIGNED THIS
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COURSE.
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THIS MUST BE ONE OF THE CREEPY
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GENDER REVEAL PARTIES WHERE WE
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FIND OUT THE SEX OF THE DEAD
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BABY IF THE BACKSEAT.
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TOO FAR FOR EVEN A LAUGH TRACK.
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I SAID CREEPY.
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LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK ON THE
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KONICA MINOLTA SWING VISION.
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FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IS THE
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BIZARRE SPINE ANKLE.
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THIS KID MIGHT HAVE SCOLIOSIS.
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HE NEVER GOES PAST PARALLEL TO A
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DANGEROUS DEGREE AT THE TOP AND
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LETS HIS HIP FLIES OPEN SO IT
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NEVER CATCHES UP WITH HIS HANDS
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AND SHOULDERS.
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STILL A PRETTIER SWING THAN
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BRYSON DeCHAMBEAU.
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MAKE SURE PEOPLE KEEP SIX FEET
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AWAY FROM YOU.
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THE SCONES ARE SO GOOD AT THAT
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CAFE, NOT ONE MENTIONED THE GUY
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IN THE SUIT CONSTANTLY FIRING A
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PISTOL.
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THIS IS FROM DAY TWO OF
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QUARANTINE.
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AND HE'S WHITE TO THE COPS GAVE
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HIM A BOTTLE OF WATER AND THANKS
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HIM FOR HIS HELP.
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NOW THAT ALL MASS SHOOTINGS HAVE
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BEEN POSTPONED UNTIL THE NEXT
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YEAR.
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UNO MAS.
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GEEK SQUAD COMING IN HOT.
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NOW LET'S WATCH A STUPID MAN TRY
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TO STEAL A TV IN THIS WEEK'S
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BREAKDOWN.
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WELCOME TO BRAZIL, A PLACE I'D
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NEVER GO.
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HOW AWFUL IT IS IF GISELLE
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PREFERRED TO WIN IN TAMPA BAY.
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TAMPA IS A SHITHOLE.
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DOESN'T HE RECOGNIZE YOU COULD
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GET A 65 INCH VIZIO AT COSTCO
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FOR $20.
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YOU CAN'T RIGHTY TIGHTY, LEFTY
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LOOSEY A TV OFF THE WALL.
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HIS PARTNER JUST TRIED TO RUN
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THROUGH THE WINDOW THAT WASN'T
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BROKEN.
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NOW THAT'S ON WIND EX FOR THE
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STREAK FREE SHINE.
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I ASSUME THEY'RE TRY TO BLAME
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THIS ON BLM PROTESTERS FOR THE
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PROPERTY DAMAGE.
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EVERYTHING IS SO SLIPPERY.
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IT LOOKS LIKE THE FLOOR HAS THAT
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WOP.
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A DAMAGED TV SPLIT THREE WAYS.
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THIS MUST BE ELLEN'S CRISIS
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RESPONSE TEAM.
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YOU CAN'T REPLACE A TV HOST IF
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THERE IS NO TVs.
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WHO WANTS MY THOUGHTS ON ELLEN?
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NO ONE.
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I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
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NEED TO GET UP ON MY SOAP BOX.
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YOU TELL ME ELLEN IS A BITCH.
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WHO CARES.
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TRY WORKING FOR ME, IF MY
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EMPLOYEES COMPLAIN TO THE PRESS
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ABOUT HOW MEAN I AM, I'D HAVE
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FAMILIES KILLED.
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SHE'S YOUR BOSS AND NOT YOUR
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BEST FRIEND.
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STOP LOOKING AT HER IN THE EYES.
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HOUFRM CODDLING DO YOU NEED.
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MOVE BACK TO OHIO AND GET A JOB
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SELLING DONG RAMS OR SOMETHING.
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MABELEN WOULD BE A LITTLE LESS
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MOODY IF YOU WROTE BETTER BITS
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AND DIDN'T FORCE A SENIOR
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CITIZEN TO DANCE LIKE A MORON
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FIVE DAYS A WEEK.
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WHAT VIDEO WAS I TALKED ABOUT,
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[ BLEEP ].
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FIRST, LET'S CELEBRATE THE LAST
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SUN BURN OF THE SEASON.
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ONE, TWO, THREE.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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♪
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IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOT TO GET
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DOWN ON FRIDAY.
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EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FORWARD TO
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THE WEEKEND ♪
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♪ IT WAS THURSDAY, TODAY IS
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FRIDAY, FRIDAY
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♪ PARTY AND PARTY, AND FUN, FUN
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FUN, FUN, LOOKING FORWARD TO THE
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WEEKEND.
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PERSONALLY I'M MORE OF A
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TUESDAY GUY.
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NO, YOU'RE NOT WATCHING A RERUN.
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IT IS 2020 AND REBECCA BLACK
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LIVES MATTER.
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SOME ARTIST WORK FOREVER TO GET
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IN THE SPOTLIGHT AND OTHERS HAVE
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THEIR MOM PAY A SHADY PRODUCER 4
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GRAND FOR THEIR DAUGHTER.
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WE FEATURED FRIDAY A DECADE AGO
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AND IT SPREAD QUICKER THAN JERRY
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FALWELL'S CABANA BOY WHILE THAT
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CLN WATCHED.
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AND GUESS WHAT REBECCA BLACK
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BLAMES FOR IT.
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ANTIFA?
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NO.
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YOURS TRULY.
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IT IS HARD BEING A 13-YEAR-OLD
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GIRL AND EVEN HARDER WHETHER
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MIDDLE AGES MEN CALL YOU SHITNEY
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SPEARS.
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SOMETIMES I'M THE RUN WHO NEEDS
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REDEEMING.
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BUT WHILE MOST CHILD STARS TURNS
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TO DRUG AND ALCOHOL, MY GAL
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REBECCA GOT HERS THE RIGHT WAY.
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IT IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED LIKE
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THE TORONTO RAPTOR OR CHIPOLTE.
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AND NOW THIS FEELS EXACTLY THE
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SAME.
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WE NEED REBECCA TO REMIND US IF
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IT IS FRIDAY, TOMORROW IS
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SATURDAY AND SUNDAY COMES AFTER
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WORDS.
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AND SINCE COMEDY CENTRAL IS
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REBOOTING ANYTHING DECADES AGO,
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I THOUGHT IF WOULD BE FUN, FUN,
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FUN, FUN, TO INVITE REBECCA
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BLACK TO BE THE FIRST EVER WEB
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LEGEND.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
229
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♪
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BIG THANK YOU TO ED SHEERAN.
231
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CHEERS MATE.
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UP NEXT IN OUR CONCERT SERIES
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IS AMERICA'S VIRAL SWEETHEART,
234
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PLEASE WELCOME MISS REBECCA
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BLACK.
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ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEG PEOPLE
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FOR MONEY WHEN WE HAVE A CONCERT
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GOING ON EVERY TWO SECONDS.
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HEY.
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[ DRUMS ]
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TAKE IT DOWN A FEW NOTCHES
242
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YOU BIG GORILLA.
243
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MY APOLOGIES THE TINY DESK
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OFFICE BAND IS AMPED TO SEE YOU.
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HELLO.
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HI.
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LET'S START OFF WITH ONE OF
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YOUR SONGS, HOW ABOUT CALL ME
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MAYBE.
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THAT IS CARLY RAE JEPSON.
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GINGHAM STYLE.
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NO.
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HARLEM SHAKE.
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WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY, SHALLOW.
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YES, THAT WAS ME AND BRADLEY
256
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COOPER.
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NO, I'M THE GIRL WHO SANG
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FRIDAY.
259
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OH, NOT A FAN.
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DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC.
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YES, I DO.
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I JUST PUT OUT A NEW SONG IT IS
263
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,376
CALLED SELF SABOTAGE.
264
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,377
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT.
265
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:41,047
THAT IS WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR.
266
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:44,384
♪ WHY DO I GIVE GOOD [ BLEEP ]
267
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,686
THINGS UP RUNNING FROM THE ONES
268
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:49,055
I LOVE MOST
269
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:55,561
♪ I STILL SABOTAGE, I SELF
270
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:56,663
SABOTAGE EVERY LITTLE THING
271
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:56,963
♪
272
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,998
THAT IS LOVELY.
273
00:09:58,998 --> 00:09:59,766
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE TO
274
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,502
PEOPLE THAT LISTEN TO SOMEONE
275
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:02,835
SING?
276
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,271
I ALWAYS GET UNCOMFORTABLE.
277
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,373
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
278
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,042
OR WHERE TO STAIR AND YOU
279
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,610
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I'M RELAXED
280
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,345
AND IF YOU OPEN YOUR EYES, WHERE
281
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,046
AM I SUPPOSED TO STAIR.
282
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,147
I DON'T KNOW EITHER.
283
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,114
WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO LOOK.
284
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,050
I FEEL LIKE A GOOD MOVE IS A
285
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,318
DOWN AND TO THE RIGHT.
286
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,018
LIKE THIS.
287
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:20,520
NOW I'M LOOKING AT YOUR LEGS.
288
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,688
THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
289
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,222
IT IS YOUR OWN PERSONAL
290
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:23,523
MOMENT.
291
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,791
I'M GOING TO LOOK AT YOUR
292
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,058
SHOULDER.
293
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,359
THAT IS BIZARRE.
294
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,294
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR BANGS.
295
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,096
ARE YOU OKAY, GIRL?
296
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,965
I'M OKAY.
297
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:32,599
I'M OKAY.
298
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,969
YOU JUST MADE A POST ON
299
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,704
INSTAGRAM THAT WENT VIRAL.
300
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:41,007
IT WAS THE NINE YEAR, NOT A BIG
301
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:41,808
ANNIVERSARY OF ANYTHING.
302
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,910
I POSTED IT.
303
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,078
WERE YOU SURPRISED THAT
304
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,579
BECAME SUCH A POPULAR POST?
305
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,480
YES.
306
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,082
HONESTLY I TRIED TO SAY
307
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:49,582
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
308
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,485
DO YOU THINK THAT IS WHY IT
309
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,554
GOT POPULAR OR BECAUSE IT IS
310
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,722
LIKE HOLY SHIT, SHE'S HOT.
311
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,657
BUT FEEL HAVE SAID THAT THE
312
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,860
SAME FIVE YEARS, I HAD THE SAME
313
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,296
BOOKS WHEN I WAS 13.
314
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:07,634
BUT NOW I STILL DON'T.
315
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,134
WHAT IS YOUR ETHNICITY.
316
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,369
MY MOM IS FROM MEXICO AND I'M
317
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:09,602
WHITE.
318
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:14,340
MIXED PEOPLE ARE BETTER
319
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:14,907
LOOKING THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
320
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,576
YOU LOOK AROUND THIS ROOM, PURE
321
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:21,748
WHITE, PURE WHITE,UCK.
322
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,717
YOUR WHITE BUT THE SCARF IS A
323
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:25,051
BIT MUCH.
324
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:28,588
TAYLOR FANS CALL THEMSELVES
325
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:32,258
SWIFTYS, TO REBECCA FANS CALL
326
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,028
THEMSELVES BLACKY.
327
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,261
NO.
328
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,896
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
329
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:37,130
NO.
330
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,198
I'M CURIOUS, WAS IT GOOD FOR
331
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,935
A 13-YEAR-OLD IT HAS TO BE HUGE.
332
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,069
BUY A CAR TYPE OF MONEY.
333
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:47,507
I DID.
334
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,075
NOT TO REHASH, WHAT WERE SOME
335
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,243
OF THE CRAZY THINGS THAT PEOPLE
336
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,477
WOULD WRITE OUT TO YOU.
337
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:51,911
EVERYTHING.
338
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,981
PEOPLE ARE REALLY GOOD AT
339
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:55,581
PINPOINTING THINGS THAT YOU
340
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:56,916
DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF THAT
341
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,151
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU DON'T
342
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,086
LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF UNTIL
343
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,054
SOMEBODY SAID IT.
344
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,588
DO YOU BLAME ME MORE FAKING
345
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,190
PEOPLE AWARE OF THE VIDEO OR DO
346
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,259
YOU GIVE US CREDIT FOR MAKING --
347
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:09,062
DO GIVE YOU CREDIT.
348
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,796
ALL OF THE TIME.
349
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,165
WE WEREN'T LIKE OH, MY GOD,
350
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,700
THIS IS THE GREATEST SONG IN THE
351
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,167
WORLD.
352
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,835
WE'RE LIKE LOOK AT THIS.
353
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,203
THIS IS INSANITY.
354
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:21,407
AND SOME OF THE LYRICS ARE
355
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:21,641
SILLY.
356
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,810
YEAH.
357
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:23,977
♪
358
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:28,114
♪ GOT TO MAKE MY MIND UP
359
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:28,348
♪
360
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,249
SO YOU'RE STILL IN THE MUSIC
361
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:30,483
WORLD.
362
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,186
I AM WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD
363
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,587
YOU CONTINUE.
364
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,022
WHY NOT.
365
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,658
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT
366
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,259
TO DO SINCE YOU WERE A BABY,
367
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,593
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FIGURE IT
368
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,262
OUT FOR YOURSELF.
369
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,529
EVERYBODY HAS THAT, RIGHT.
370
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,064
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
371
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,966
THIS SHOW?
372
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:47,567
A LONG TIME.
373
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:48,935
YES.
374
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,070
[ BLEEP ] BUT COMEDY IS
375
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:51,471
DIFFERENT.
376
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,373
IT IS BY FAR THE MOST
377
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:53,673
RIDICULOUS.
378
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,275
BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU
379
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,379
ARE, IT STILL TAKES LUCK,
380
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,580
GATEKEEPERS, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
381
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:04,717
BUT COMEDY, IF YOU'RE GOOD AT
382
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,586
COMEDY, YOU MIGHT NOT GET A TV
383
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,655
SHOW BUT YOU MAKE A LOT OF
384
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:08,855
MONEY.
385
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,323
BUT MUSIC IS NOT FAIR.
386
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,224
YOU COULD BE THE BEST BAND IN
387
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,792
THE WORLD AND NOTHING HAPPENS TO
388
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,126
YOU FOREVER.
389
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,294
UNFORTUNATELY MANY INDUSTRIES
390
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,396
ARE LIKE THAT.
391
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,630
NO, JUST MUSIC.
392
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,732
IT IS JUST MUSIC.
393
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,702
EVERY OTHER INDUSTRY IS
394
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:23,970
NORMAL-ISH.
395
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,506
YOU DIDN'T THINK CHRISTIAN BALE
396
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,206
WOULD GET WORK.
397
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,541
THE GUY IS AMAZING.
398
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,310
YOU WATCH HIM IN A MOVIE AND
399
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,679
YOU'RE LIKE OH, MAN, HE'S GOOD.
400
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,113
DO YOU LIKE CHRISTIAN BALE?
401
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:35,448
YEAH, YOU DO.
402
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,583
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COVER OF
403
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:37,817
FRIDAY.
404
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:42,789
I THINK JIMMY FALLON.
405
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,623
♪ YEAH FRIDAY
406
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:43,790
♪
407
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,359
I WOULD DO IT.
408
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,760
THAT IS WHAT I WOULD SAY TO HIM.
409
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:48,361
HE WOULDN'T REMEMBER.
410
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:48,995
HE'S TOO DRINK.
411
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,130
I'M TEASING.
412
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,465
YEAH, I'M NOT.
413
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,467
WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU LISTEN
414
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,069
TO FRIDAY NOW?
415
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,003
IT'S CUTE.
416
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,805
YOU HAVE BEEN OUT AND PEOPLE
417
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,074
PLAY IT JUST TO TORTURE YOU.
418
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,276
I WAS IN THE GYM IN A WORK
419
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,844
OUT CLASS AND HE PLAYED FRIDAY
420
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,745
AND I WAS LIKE, PLEASE.
421
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,014
IT HAPPENS TO ME IN SPINS
422
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,247
CLASS.
423
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,484
I PUT ON MY COMEDY ALBUMS ON
424
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,686
SOUL CYCLE, I'M LIKE, COME ON
425
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,921
GUYS, PLAY THE NEXT TRACK, I
426
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,589
LIKE IT BETTER.
427
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,558
HOW COME FRIDAY'S THE RESTAURANT
428
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,227
NEVER GAVE YOU AN ENDORSEMENT.
429
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:21,828
THAT IS A GREAT QUESTION.
430
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,863
I'M NOT A BIG FAN SINCE THEY
431
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,132
SWITCHED FROM TGI FRIDAYS.
432
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,567
AND YOU KNOW WHY THEY TOOK IT
433
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:27,800
OUT --
434
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,102
BECAUSE OF GOD.
435
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,436
YEAH.
436
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,472
AND [ BLEEP ] STUPID IN THE
437
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,072
SOUTH.
438
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:34,440
IS THAT RESTAURANT USING GOD'S
439
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,442
NAME IN VAIN.
440
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,311
WE'RE GOING OVER TO BENIGGANS.
441
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,679
I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVEN'T
442
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:40,780
PERFORMED FRIDAY IN OVER 13
443
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,014
YEARS.
444
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:41,614
THAT IS NOT TRUE.
445
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:46,252
HERE TO PERFORM "FRIDAY",
446
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:50,089
LIVE OR NOT FIR TIME IN OVER 13
447
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:53,459
YEARS, TAKE IT A WAY REBECCA
448
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:53,660
BLACK.
449
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,630
ONE, TWO, THREE.
450
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,467
♪ IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY
451
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:05,071
♪ EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FORWARD
452
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,774
TO THE WEEKEND, PARTY AND PARTY
453
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:12,211
AND PARTY FUN, FUN, FUN, LOOKING
454
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:14,948
FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND
455
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:20,486
♪ YESTERDAY WAS THURSDAY.
456
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,889
TODAY IT IS FRIDAY
457
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:26,025
♪ WE'RE SO EXCITED.
458
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,227
WE'RE SO EXCITED, I DON'T WANT
459
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:40,206
THIS WEEKEND TO END ♪
460
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:40,607
[ DRUMS ]
461
00:15:40,607 --> 00:16:00,760
♪
462
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:06,299
THANK YOU FOR COMING IN,
463
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:06,566
REBECCA.
464
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,934
SURE, .
465
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:11,537
SEE YOU AT THE BIG 19 YEAR
466
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:11,871
ANNIVERSARY.
467
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,106
SINCE WE SHOT THAT SHE
468
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,474
PUBLICLY CAME OUT.
469
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,210
GLAD I INSPIRED HER WITH MY
470
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,244
FLUID SEXUALITY.
471
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,345
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
472
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:20,113
BUT FIRST THERE IS ALWAYS
473
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:28,588
SOMETHING GROSS COMING OUT OF
474
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:28,788
CHINA.
475
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:33,993
[ APPLAUSE ]
476
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,269
♪
477
00:16:43,269 --> 00:17:07,927
[ LAUGHTER ]
478
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,528
IF THIS PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT
479
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,297
US ANYTHING, IT IS THAT BAKING
480
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:14,033
IS VERY EASY AND EVEN YOUR LAME
481
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,267
GIRLFRIEND CAN DO IT.
482
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,369
CALL ME ON OLD-FASHIONED RACIST
483
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,838
BUT I THINK A CAKE SHOULD LOOK
484
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:20,873
LIKE A CAKE.
485
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:28,214
LET'S SETTLE IT WITH A GAME OF
486
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,283
IS IT CAKE?
487
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:36,088
AH.
488
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:36,255
AH.
489
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,990
AH.
490
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,258
THAT IS A BIG CAKE.
491
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:42,995
MUST BE SOMEBODY'S WEDDING
492
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:43,562
TODAY.
493
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,665
WHY IS THIS CAKE SO THIN?
494
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:48,267
THAT'S MY PAYCHECK.
495
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,270
NICE TRY.
496
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,173
WANT A SLICE?
497
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:54,673
AH.
498
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,475
OKAY, THIS TIRE IS DEFINITELY
499
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:56,809
CAKE.
500
00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:01,780
NOT REAL LIKE THE OTHER THREE.
501
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:02,982
GET BACK HERE CAKE.
502
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,117
DAMN, THAT IS A FAST CAKE.
503
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,719
THERE HAS GOT TO BE CAKE IN
504
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:07,019
THERE.
505
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:10,256
OBVIOUSLY THE OUTER SHELL ISN'T
506
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:10,456
CAKE.
507
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,325
BUT IF I COULD GET THIS DEEP
508
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,994
ENOUGH, I THINK I'LL HIT CAKE.
509
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:22,601
FINALLY SOME REAL CAKE.
510
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,570
APPLE PIE!
511
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:27,273
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL ANY
512
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,207
MORE.
513
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:28,541
AM I CAKE?
514
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,843
I'M SAD TO REPORT, I AM NOT A
515
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,277
CAKE.
516
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,812
BUT I AM A CERTIFIED SNACK.
517
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:34,780
IT IS NOT JUST BAKING.
518
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,348
EVERYONE IS DOING A LOT MORE
519
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:39,251
COOKING AT HOME THESE DAYS SO
520
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,220
HERE IS THE TOSH.O QUARANTINE
521
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:46,825
KITCHEN TIP OF THE WEEK.
522
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:51,230
♪
523
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:51,430
WHAT?
524
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:51,597
AH.
525
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,899
MY CORN HOLES THAT A SPIRALIZER
526
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:54,567
IN IT.
527
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:58,137
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
528
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:03,275
TOSH.O ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
529
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:03,542
[ APPLAUSE ]
530
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,713
WELCOME BACK TO THE ONLY TV
531
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,114
SHOW THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE
532
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:12,317
BEEN ON THE AIR THIS WHOLE TIME.
533
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,420
NEXT WEEK, I SOIL MYSELF WITH
534
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,554
THIS GORGEOUS GARDNER.
535
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,623
NOT WHETHER YOU WATER YOUR
536
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,025
PLANT ROTATE, LIKE YOU ROTATE ON
537
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,627
THAT DICK TO GET EVEN SUNLIGHT
538
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,195
AND IS IT DOESN'T GROW IN ONE
539
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,496
DIRECTION OR LEAN TO THE SIDE.
540
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,398
THAT IS YOUR TIP FOR THE WEEK.
541
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:32,337
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK ON GARDENING,
542
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:32,538
BITCH.
543
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:33,772
I CAN'T WAIT TO USE MY
544
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,174
HILARIOUS HORTICULTURE JOKES NOT
545
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,309
TO BE CONFUSED WITH MY BOTANY
546
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:37,609
MATERIAL.
547
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:39,344
FOLLOW ME ON THE FOUR MAJORS OF
548
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,112
SOCIAL MEDIA.
549
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,281
THESE ARE FINAL EPISODES ON
550
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,348
COMEDY CENTRAL AND JUST BECAUSE
551
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,651
I MAY BE MOVING ON TO ANOTHER
552
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,320
NETWORK DOES NOT MEAN I DON'T
553
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:48,554
LOVE CC.
554
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,456
AND TO PROVE IT, WE'RE GOING TO
555
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,757
PAY TRIBUTE TO SOME OF MY
556
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,625
FAVORITE EXECUTIVES THAT HAVE
557
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,928
MADE TOSH.O THE LONGEST RUNNING
558
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,163
WEEKLY LIVE ACTION SHOW IN
559
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,799
NETWORK HISTORY.
560
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,302
FIRST UP, KENT ALTERMAN, THE
561
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,037
BARACK OBAMA OF COMEDY CENTRAL.
562
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,839
I LOVE THIS GUY.
563
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,640
JUST GETS COMEDY.
564
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:08,841
OKAY.
565
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:12,277
HAS A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH
566
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:12,678
TALENT.
567
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,113
ONE TIME HE LOST A BUNCH OF
568
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,614
WEIGHT IN A MONTH AND WE ALL
569
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,015
THOUGHT HE HAD AIDS.
570
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,083
BUT REALLY HE JUST STARTED
571
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:21,653
BIKING TO WORK.
572
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:22,221
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, KENT.
573
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:33,632
NOW THIS WEEK'S LUCKY SON OF A
574
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:43,876
BITCH.
575
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,044
OH, MOM WAS A SHOE STRING
576
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:48,080
AWAY FROM FINDING OUT HOW MUCH A
577
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,783
3 FOOT CASKET COST.
578
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:55,854
THIS KID IS ONE LUCKY SON OF A
579
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:56,055
BITCH.
580
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:56,855
HOLOGRAM, DISENGAGE.
581
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:57,156
GOOD NIGHT.
582
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:01,093
♪
583
00:21:27,858 --> 00:21:31,161
♪
40236
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