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1
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,132
♪ ♪
2
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,550
d'oh!
3
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,136
(grunts)
4
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:17,016
haw-haw! Green screen.
5
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,059
♪ ♪
6
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,066
♪ ♪
7
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,165
lenny,
I didn't know you had kids.
8
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,583
I don't.
9
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,626
I hired them to look like
I'm a family man.
10
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,503
How you doing, lenny jr.?
11
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,089
Never better, lenny sr.
12
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:50,966
-(phone chimes)
-hey, I just got cast
13
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,676
as krusty's kid
at a custody hearing.
14
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,886
Possible recurring.
15
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,180
Later, loser!
16
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,848
(chuckles)
kids.
17
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,308
(feedback screeches)
18
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,560
welcome, iso-tots.
(chuckles)
19
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:02,853
are you having fun?
20
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,230
Kids:
Yay!
21
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,233
Excellent. Now, as your parents
leave you alone with me,
22
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,944
let's begin the festivities.
(chuckles)
23
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,905
♪ ♪
24
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,907
yes, there they go. Bye-bye.
25
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,909
Last mommy out. Excellent.
26
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,452
I now declare the start
27
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,330
of put your kids to work day.
28
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,748
♪ ♪
29
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,714
(gasping, screaming)
30
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,345
(screaming)
31
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,650
this plant has over 17,000
contaminated crevices
32
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,985
that only your tiny hands
can reach.
33
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,362
Get to work, slackers.
34
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,739
At least this ride
doesn't have a creepy song.
35
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:59,243
♪ you'll work for me, or you'll get the lash ♪
36
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:03,080
♪ you won't get dental, health or cash. ♪
37
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,457
no!
38
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:09,378
Even mr. Burns
can't get away with this.
39
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,381
Oh, monty, you've still got it.
40
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,175
That was like taking
eight hours of work from a baby.
41
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,387
Mr. Burns, according to
the child labor laws
42
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,888
of the united states...
43
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,974
Aah! Accountability?
44
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,979
In this game of cat and mouse,
45
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,439
I'm afraid mr. Mouse
is far smarter than...
46
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,899
(screams)
47
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,985
lisa:
I know you're in here,
48
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,361
and nothing will stop me.
49
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,155
Wait, this is a men's room.
50
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,865
Ew, ew, ew!
51
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,617
Is that a tuna sandwich
on the sink?
52
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,079
Ugh! Gross, gross, gross!
53
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,792
Oh, employee cave drawings.
54
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,419
Let's see
what's on their feeble minds.
55
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,921
"there once was a lady
from china..." (mumbles)
56
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,673
"and north carolina."
57
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,383
I assume what's in between
is unimportant.
58
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,635
(laughs)
there!
59
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,054
Someone drew a big,
crying cucumber. That's nice.
60
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,265
Ooh! Something about me.
61
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,934
I'll need my cheaters for this.
62
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,394
-♪ ♪
-(gasping)
63
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,898
what?
64
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,524
Oh!
65
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,028
Oh! They hate me.
66
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:18,697
Well, maybe things are better
in the ladies' room.
67
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,867
Effigies can be burned?
68
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:22,910
(exhales)
you should have seen
69
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,995
those hateful graffitos,
smithers.
70
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,830
And the drawing of me
was so off-model.
71
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,949
I wouldn't worry, sir.
72
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,083
Our workers
are pretty well-pacified.
73
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,003
-Intimidation.
-Alleged intimidation.
74
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,633
-Beatings.
-Alleged beatings. Mm.
75
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,884
The poisonings.
76
00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,594
Ah, yes.
77
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:43,472
We've had some alleged good
times, haven't we, smithers?
78
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:46,850
But there is an undercurrent
of contempt for me.
79
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,268
No, there isn't.
80
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:50,646
You said burns
is worse than hitler.
81
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,356
Well, not worse at his job
than hitler,
82
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,515
but a worse person.
83
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,691
(whistle blows)
84
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,026
huh. Was that the work whistle?
85
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,237
Eh, who cares.
86
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,864
(scoffs) everywhere,
I'm surrounded by malcontents,
87
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,366
termagants and lennys.
88
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,452
Well, we could show the workers
some actual respect,
89
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,828
uh, considering
how many have died.
90
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:12,167
Or I could go undercover
and infiltrate the workers.
91
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,211
I'm beginning to suspect
92
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,296
these monitors
have been tampered with.
93
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:18,757
I've assembled
a world-class team
94
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,759
to create
your undercover disguise.
95
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:23,762
The face mask specialist from
the mission: Impossible movies.
96
00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:27,099
I made ving rhames
look like kristin chenoweth.
97
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,434
I don't know any of those words,
but I'm impressed.
98
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,145
We'll also provide you
with a dynamic new body.
99
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:35,524
Ooh. Does everything work?
100
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,192
Everything
that works for you now.
101
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,486
Damn it! That's only two things.
102
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,689
And we top off the disguise
with a voice modulation chip.
103
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,700
Mr. Burns,
I'm gonna make you sound...
104
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,494
(deep voice):
Hella different.
105
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,538
Oh, yeah.
106
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,040
Let's get to work.
(grunts)
107
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,501
(dramatic action music playing)
108
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,879
oh, my god. It's extraordinary.
109
00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:01,633
You now have the body and face
of a man half your age.
110
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,885
Burns:
78? Now, enough gallimaufry.
111
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,220
I want to see my reflection.
112
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,014
Someone bring me
a mountain stream.
113
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,600
Say goodbye to montgomery burns.
114
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,604
Say hello to fred kranepool
from turbine maintenance.
115
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,398
(whirring)
116
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,984
(deep voice):
Excellent.
117
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,700
Hello, joe. What do you know?
118
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,285
Just got back
from the picture show.
119
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,578
Beat it, weirdo.
120
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,954
You're fired.
121
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,456
You can't fire me.
122
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,958
Homer:
Hey, newbie. Over here.
123
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,586
(chuckles)
homer simpson.
124
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,588
Fred. Uh...
125
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,131
No, that's not it.
126
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,134
Fred kranepool.
127
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,845
You seem like a happy lot
here at the nuclear plant,
128
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,597
suckling from the teat
129
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,308
of the great
c. Montgomery burns.
130
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,518
(laughs)
you said "teat."
131
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:57,105
(laughs)
yes, I did, didn't I?
132
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,482
(chuckles)
now that we're chums,
133
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,108
what's on your mind?
134
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,486
Any complaints?
Insubordinate remarks?
135
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,196
Lenny:
Actually, now that
you mention it...
136
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,156
-Yes...?
-(work whistle blows)
137
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,691
uh-oh. Better get back to work.
138
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,160
Ah, so soon?
139
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,204
(sighs) sorry, but mr. Burns
has a special way
140
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,955
of telling you
your lunchtime's over.
141
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,290
(hounds barking)
142
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,750
(screaming)
143
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,960
(growling)
144
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,545
I heard the craziest thing.
145
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,090
Some nuclear plants
don't have hounds chasing you.
146
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,050
Eh, different world.
147
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,052
(hounds snarling)
148
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,973
huh. I guess when you're on
the other side of it,
149
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,101
releasing hounds can be cruel?
150
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,311
Oh, yeah. Super cruel.
151
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:38,355
I had to get rabies shots
in my stomach for a month.
152
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,066
Skipped the last couple.
153
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,361
Ugh, you poor guys.
Here, please.
154
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,905
Here's a buffalo nickel
for each of you.
155
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,448
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
156
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,283
Why don't you join us
at moe's tonight?
157
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,285
Moe's?
158
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,246
Yeah, it's that bar
that was featured
159
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,997
on I'll drink what phil's drinking
160
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,666
with phil rosenthal.
161
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,627
Mmm. What animal
is this egg from?
162
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:03,380
Uh, I want to say horse?
163
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,715
Oh. Could I be sick in this?
164
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,509
Oh...
(retching)
165
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,128
somebody take phil
to the hospital.
166
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,139
Fred, buddy, you coming?
167
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,100
I'm in.
Just need to signal smithers.
168
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,060
(sultry action music playing)
169
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:27,279
(sighs)
I hate that signal.
170
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,531
Moe, this is our new pal fred.
171
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,533
Apparently, we've been working
with him for years.
172
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,201
We never noticed.
173
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:35,495
Set him up with a beer. On me.
174
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:40,000
-(shouts, wailing)
-fred!
175
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,544
(sighs)
thank you, friend.
176
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:44,212
I like the way you said that,
177
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:47,632
like it was a foreign concept
or something.
178
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,344
(laughs)
you know,
179
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,722
it might be
john barleycorn talking,
180
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,725
but you annoying fleas
aren't half bad.
181
00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,020
All we're looking for is
a little friendship and respect.
182
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:00,896
Mm-hmm.
183
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:01,855
All right.
184
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,523
To friendship and respect.
185
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,943
And also evil.
I mean, I mean, football.
186
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,945
All:
Football!
187
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,948
(cackles)
188
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,326
ah, whoa, whoa. Sorry, barn.
Your seat's taken.
189
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,411
Oh, you show up late
190
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:19,372
for your nightly
bender just once...
191
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,916
Uh, don't you worry.
192
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:24,336
I just instituted
drive-through service.
193
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,838
Drive safely.
194
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,090
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
195
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:32,043
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
196
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,846
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
197
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:37,557
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
198
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:42,145
♪ I see you 'round for a long, long time ♪
199
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,271
♪ (laughter) ♪
200
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:45,982
♪ I remember you ♪
201
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,434
♪ when you drink my wine ♪
202
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,986
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
203
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,156
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
204
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,617
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
205
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:59,162
♪ why can't we be friends? ♪
206
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,373
thank you. Thank you very much.
207
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,416
Okay, um,
your turn to sing, fred.
208
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,252
(chanting):
Fred! Fred! Fred!
209
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,254
(chuckles)
very well.
210
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,756
I've got a toe-tapper
everyone can sing along with,
211
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,300
"the spaniard that blighted
my life."
212
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,178
"the spaniard that blighted
my life," blh1493. Go.
213
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,431
♪ list to me, while I tell you ♪
214
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,141
♪ of the spaniard that blighted my life... ♪
215
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,268
everybody!
216
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,853
♪ list to me, while I tell you ♪
217
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,941
♪ of the man that pinched my future wife. ♪
218
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:32,279
burns: Those idiots like me for me, fred kranepool.
219
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,822
Uh, sir, I'm worried.
220
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,282
The suit just detected a heartbeat.
221
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,617
-I'm turning you off.
-(clicks)
222
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,661
-other button, sir.
-Shut up.
223
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,212
Where is he?
224
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,214
I'm supposed to read him
his bedtime story.
225
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,427
Smithers, what are you
still doing up?
226
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,013
I was worried about you, sir.
227
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,517
Worried? Eh.
228
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:05,061
I just had the greatest night
of my life.
229
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,480
-With my friends.
-What?
230
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,149
Oh, you should've
seen it, smithers.
231
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,401
They enjoyed my company.
232
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,154
I've had "frenemies," but
they were all french enemies.
233
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,948
Never a friend.
234
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:19,242
I think of you
as more than a friend, sir.
235
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,619
What did I tell you
about thinking?
236
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,029
(sighs)
well, did you find anything out?
237
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,623
Any scuttlebutt from the union?
238
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:28,084
The only union that concerns me
now is the union of men.
239
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,045
What would you know about that?
240
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,087
(grumbles)
241
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,213
(homer humming)
242
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:35,333
where have you been?
You missed dinner.
243
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:38,136
There's this really cool new guy
at the plant.
244
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,973
You know what's cool is
spending time with your family.
245
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,225
-That's not cool.
-Yeah, mom, it really isn't.
246
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,395
I agree with mom
on everything but this.
247
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,147
I'm sorry. Definitely not cool.
248
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,899
Oh, all right, all right.
249
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,027
I just don't trust new people
in this town.
250
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:57,155
Like lady gaga?
She came, she inspired lisa
251
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,991
and we never heard
from her again.
252
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,993
Who needs friends like that?
253
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:03,986
So, fellows,
254
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,164
what's on our
social agenda tonight?
255
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,958
More galivanting, I hope?
256
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,919
Well, we really should do
a little work.
257
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,213
Yeah. I have a whole inbox
of unsplit atoms
258
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,839
I haven't gotten to yet.
259
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,299
Fred, are these men
bothering you?
260
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,386
-Oh, back off, smithers.
-All: Whoa!
261
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,305
I'll box your ears next time you
speak to me with such insolence.
262
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,465
Yes, sir.
263
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,476
Oh, my god.
264
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,978
You totally pwned him.
265
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,189
Hmm. I suppose I did pwn him.
266
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,857
I did.
267
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,401
Ugh, that was quite
the kerfuffle.
268
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,778
I better go take
a three-hour nap.
269
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,988
No, no, wait. While smithers
is off drowning his sorrows
270
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,617
in a pamplemousse perrier,
burns is unprotected.
271
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,160
This is the perfect time
for you to represent us
272
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,079
and hit the old skinflint up
273
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,205
for a decent benefits package.
274
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:49,040
Me, talk to burns?
275
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,834
Oh, I wouldn't. I-I couldn't.
276
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,503
He's got the sharpest mind
in all 46 states.
277
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,964
Hey, come on, please.
For your friends.
278
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,882
I won't let you down.
279
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,218
(robotic):
You down, you down, you down.
280
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,973
I'll help you, friends.
281
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,558
Fred voice:
Don't you understand, burns?
282
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,852
Without the workers,
this plant is nothing.
283
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,186
If you give them respect,
284
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,813
it comes back to you
a hundredfold.
285
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,190
(chuckles)
respect the workers?
286
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,569
What next? Put batteries
in the smoke detectors?
287
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:20,113
Have you no heart?
288
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,814
I certainly do.
289
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,409
I'm not flooding this room
with mustard gas right now.
290
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:27,996
I'll give you a chance to tell
your buddies that you failed.
291
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:32,292
But then they might not
like me anymore.
292
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,336
You're right. Friendship
is something worth treasuring.
293
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,965
Boy, he's really raking burns
over the coals.
294
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,967
Yeah, I like how they're not
interrupting each other.
295
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,094
-So polite.
-Burns: Yes, spirits, yes.
296
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,180
I'll give them
everything they want.
297
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,891
-(exhales) he said...
-We heard everything.
298
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,559
Clearly it was
two people talking.
299
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,561
We got to spread the good news.
300
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:55,273
We love you, big guy.
(grunts)
301
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,942
mr. Burns, what have you done?
302
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,028
There is no mr. Burns.
303
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,863
Only fred.
304
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,072
What are you saying?
305
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,659
Montgomery burns died
when I put on this suit.
306
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,328
And six other times this week.
307
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,988
Thank god for the new liver
and kidneys.
308
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,209
Wait up, guys!
Beers are on me!
309
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,668
I might have two tonight.
310
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,879
That's right: Two sips!
311
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,048
(laughs)
312
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,843
hope you're hungry, homer.
313
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,055
I got up at 2:00 a.M. And
slow-roasted a breakfast turkey.
314
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,224
Sorry, no time for food.
I got to get to work.
315
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,647
(squeaking)
316
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,899
when did homer turn into someone
who wants to go into work?
317
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,984
Oh, no. It's in the air.
318
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,904
Now I want to go to school
and make something of myself.
319
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,906
Ooh.
(babbles musically)
320
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,991
hey, work is amazing now.
321
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,911
A magical place where we get
what we deserve and more.
322
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,955
And it's all due to fred.
323
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,916
Okay, so when are we gonna
meet this fred?
324
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,043
Oh, you've already
met him, marge,
325
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,504
in the smile on my face.
326
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,631
(whistling)
327
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,008
-(door closes)
-should we tell him
it's a Saturday?
328
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,510
Eh, not yet.
329
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:08,179
At least we'll get some
of the roast turkey for once.
330
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,390
♪ I don't want to work ♪
331
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:14,477
♪ I want to bang on the drum all day ♪
332
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,063
♪ I don't want to play ♪
333
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:21,067
♪ I just want to bang on the drum all day ♪
334
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,403
♪ I don't want to work... ♪
335
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,364
♪ I want to bang on the drum all day ♪
336
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,908
hey, homer. Look what fred
made burns give us
337
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,493
to handle plutonium.
338
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,579
Look at me. I'm audrey hepburn.
339
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,085
Lenny leonard,
you have exquisite vision
340
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,670
and you know it.
Give me those.
341
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,506
Oh, I don't care what you think,
'cause fred doesn't like you.
342
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,508
And once fred gets around to it,
343
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,011
you ain't gonna be
working here no more.
344
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,974
I've had enough.
Simpson, come with me.
345
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,142
What the...?
346
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:57,103
There's something
you don't know about
347
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,396
your good friend fred.
348
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,690
I know everything I need to know
349
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:04,027
about fred whatshisname
from wherever he comes.
350
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,910
(gasps)
oh, my god.
351
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,287
That's right. Fred is mr. Burns.
352
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,372
But wait a minute.
Isn't that a good thing?
353
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,333
It means he's nice to us now.
354
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,335
His niceness is gonna
put us out of business.
355
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,004
These giveaways
are bankrupting us.
356
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,088
What should we give
our friends next, fred?
357
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,050
Morning yoga? Irish brides?
358
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,510
Okay, maybe the yoga
is going too far.
359
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,054
It's all too far.
360
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,096
We're gonna go the way
of the sears catalog
361
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,932
and 20th century fox.
362
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:38,019
Are you sure this isn't
because you miss the old burns?
363
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,396
Of course I miss him.
Who wouldn't?
364
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,315
Simpson, if you care
about your job,
365
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,025
and the jobs of everyone
in this plant,
366
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,277
you'll end your friendship
with mr. Burns.
367
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,196
-Permanently.
-No problem.
368
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,531
As long as I'm still friends
with fred.
369
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,492
Burns is fred.
370
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:55,495
Wha...? Oh, he is not.
371
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,627
-What's wrong, homie?
-Mm, not much.
372
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:06,089
I lost a friend today because
burns stepped out of him.
373
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,966
-What?
-Well, let's just say
374
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,133
I can't be
friends with fred anymore
375
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,843
but I don't know
how to tell him.
376
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,428
Well, don't ask me.
I suck at it.
377
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,055
That's why I can't shake
milhouse.
378
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,099
I'm right here, bart.
379
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,267
Our sleepover ended
two days ago.
380
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,520
I'll call my mom again.
381
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,522
♪ ♪
382
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,406
-hey, fred.
-Ahoy-hoy.
383
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:34,158
Listen, fred, we can't really
hang out with you anymore.
384
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:38,496
No offense. I mean, it's just
that I got to focus on work.
385
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,376
My console's
under here somewhere.
386
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,836
Hey, fred!
387
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,087
-The man of the hour.
-Oh...
388
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,548
We were just working
on a list of new things
389
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,550
you can get
old man burns to give us.
390
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:53,011
What do you mean
"old man burns"?
391
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:55,138
(laughs)
I mean, he's so old.
392
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,931
Fossilized scarecrow.
393
00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:01,102
You know, I've never seen fred
and burns at the same time.
394
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,596
Which means you must
hate burns, too.
395
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,315
Ooh, well, we-we don't
really hate him.
396
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,984
Mr. Burns is a withered
old corn husk
397
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,944
with a rotten apple
for a head,
398
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,446
and I'm getting special clogs
made up
399
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,072
so I can riverdance
on his grave.
400
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,199
(babbles musically)
401
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,578
you ungrateful jackals.
402
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,455
Smithers,
where's the kill button?
403
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,248
Um, there isn't one, sir.
404
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,333
How many times have I told you,
405
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,335
everything must have
a kill button?
406
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,005
Unhand me, you ape!
407
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,424
Why am I always referred to
as an ape?
408
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,968
Never a gorilla or an orangutan.
409
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,378
Aw, monkey want a banana?
410
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:40,141
(grunts)
why, you incredibly complex...
411
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,436
(crying):
I-I thought
412
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,937
you were
413
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,647
my friends.
414
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,942
Huh. Someone's having a day.
415
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,028
♪ ♪
416
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,989
fred, you traitor.
417
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,908
You've turned my employees
against me.
418
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,993
Yeah, but they love me.
419
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,120
And soon, there'll be no you.
420
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,164
Just fred!
421
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:09,045
♪ ♪
422
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:12,965
as all my attorneys keep
telling me, why won't you die?
423
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,260
Because I'm the last spark
of goodness in you.
424
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,471
It can't be extinguished!
425
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,515
I'm glad I went to the bathroom
in you.
426
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,016
En garde.
427
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,063
(grunts)
428
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,485
(straining):
Die, die. D-die, die.
429
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,530
It's okay, mr. Burns.
Fred's gone.
430
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,158
Oh, why can't I be loved
and feared?
431
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,452
-Like god?
-Why?
432
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,704
Because you're the boss,
we're the workers.
433
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,990
It goes back to caveman days.
434
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,835
Ten guys killed the mammoth
while the boss yelled at them.
435
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:52,088
Then the boss got all the meat
and they got all the toenails.
436
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:56,050
Because that's the way
life works.
437
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,886
Next came the renaissance, and
the invention of the time clock,
438
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,264
which meant the boss
no longer had to waste time
439
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,807
checking on his employees
440
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,101
and could become pope
and marry his sister.
441
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:09,522
With recent times came unions
and workers' rights.
442
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,859
Which were then taken away
in even more recent times.
443
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,485
Wrap it up, homer.
444
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:15,820
That catwalk
is starting to buckle.
445
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,989
(metal creaking)
446
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,324
my point is, no matter what,
mr. Burns,
447
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,828
the boss sucks,
so why shouldn't you?
448
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:26,664
-(blows raspberry)
-why indeed.
449
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,041
Back to work,
and everything nice is canceled.
450
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,335
-Um, does that include...
-If you have to ask,
451
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,837
it's canceled.
452
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,339
And fred, the man
I could've been,
453
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:38,759
I consign to the fires of hell.
454
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:43,339
(screeches)
455
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,933
somebody stop it.
No, no, no, too late.
456
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,895
-Oh, poor fred.
-It's a costume, you idiot.
457
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,272
A lot of work goes into those.
458
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,399
-Good to have you back, sir.
-(chuckles)
459
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,067
good to-- oh, smithers.
460
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,361
I left my car fob in that suit.
Go get it.
461
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,488
But that's certain death, sir.
462
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,451
-Yes, but for you.
-You're back.
463
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,578
Or am I?
464
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,210
Attention, everyone.
465
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,920
This is your new coworker
don phoneyman.
466
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,922
Please show him the ropes.
467
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,798
I'm not going through this
again. Come on.
468
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,343
We know it's you, mr. Burns,
and we'll prove it.
469
00:20:20,378 --> 00:20:22,595
Release the hounds.
They won't touch you.
470
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,847
(barking)
471
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,849
well, what do you know?
He's real.
472
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,435
I didn't know we could
call the hounds.
473
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,520
We can also operate
the trapdoor.
474
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,065
(receding):
I'll get you for this!
475
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:53,117
Engage karaoke mode.
476
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,254
♪ list to me while I tell you ♪
477
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,090
♪ of the spaniard that blighted my life ♪
478
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,053
♪ list to me, while I tell you ♪
479
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,306
♪ of the man that pinched my future wife. ♪
480
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,121
shh!
481
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,001
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