Original subtitles

All these people, there's cameras.

This is not like the other shows that you've done.

Man: Tamar is headed downstairs.

This is a lot to do this.

I'm just saying. This is a lot.

I need you to commit to not shutting us out.

I lost my family.

I lost my dreams.

It's been so long since I've done an album, I am afraid.

Let's get into your voice.

Right now, you don't have contact

with a lot of your own blood, right?

So that's loss. It hurts.

I've been feeling choked on a daily basis, every single day.

The pressure of everything is just [crunches]

and I was mad at him, and I missed the whole thing,

and that's why I went down the slope and crashed.

There you go.

[crying]

I opened up and shared all of my life,

but this ain't for y'all.

-Tamar. -Unh-unh.

Tay.

[door slams]

so goli's going well.

The dreams are pretty interesting.

There's other the types of energy in the world.

Some are very powerful.

I'm not sure what dream work is.

Everything you don't understand is not witchcraft.

It's just not.

Like, maybe we could go to this place

where you can break things.

Like, what you talking about? It's called, like, a break room.

T-that's for angry people.

Y'all want me to be an angry black woman?

Do I have to be an angry black woman in every (bleep) series?

-No. -It's very awkward for me.

Like, you want me to break (bleep) up

and just act like a (bleep) donkey, stupid-ass fool?

No. That's what the hell y'all want me to do?

I'm not fighting my sisters.

I'm not fighting them girls from "the real."

I'm not fighting nobody but the devil.

♪♪

♪♪

-alright. Cool. Let's go. -Alright. Get that boom.

Man: It's ready to go.

♪♪

[indistinct conversation]

okay, you guys.

So I just got a call from tamar's lawyer,

and we are being asked to leave the premises,

so we all need to pack up

and get out of here as quick as possible.

Okay. [chuckles]

alright? So let's pack up.

Forever or just for today?

Woman: Thank you.

No. We shouldn't leave anything here.

Yeah.

♪♪

hey, can you hear me?

Lang: Yeah. Okay.

She's under strict doctor's orders not to work

and that she has a doctor's note and that she can't work.

She's texting me... -Yeah.

...And saying, "I told you I cannot talk.

No one listens to me. It's very frustrating.

This is what I got going on, too.

This show means everything to me, too.

I hate that I lost my voice." -yeah.

I mean, the point of the show, though, is to document all that.

You know what I mean?

We're doc-- doing that as we speak.

You're being... You're on camera. Gotcha.

Alright. Mike, let me call you back when I get in the car.

-Okay. -Alright.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

tamar: Here, you -- do me a favor?

Can you help me put this on?

I don't want to mess up. I'm listening, rob.

Okay, so, um, I just wanna go over the schedule this week,

what we got going on this week.

♪♪

Thursday, we leavin' at 12:00 to go to the airport.

Oh, we are? What time is the flight? Yeah.

Um, so, the flight leaves at 12:00.

We'll get to maryland about 7:40.

We'll have rehearsal.

How much is rehearsal costing me? A lot?

Uh, free. [laughs]

-can we walk and talk? -Yes, we can.

How much time they givin' us for sound check?

-An hour for sound check. -That's it?!

If you want more, we can get more, 'cause it's your show, so we can --

I need three hours. -Okay.

-Want me tell you why? -Uh-huh.

I need -- I need for the --

so, I need for them to be able to do their line check. Mm-hmm.

Like, a full line check. You know what I'm sayin'?

Because I just don't want me not to be able to sing.

You know, I'm just very, very, very nervous

because my voice is not all the way back.

So, um, then Thursday, after we finish rehearsal,

we'll go back to the hotel.

Friday, rehearsals and sound check.

I think the show is sold out on both nights.

The tickets all gone to both shows.

Uh-huh. Oh, no!

Davi-I-I-d!

[miracle groans]

I can't clean up no (bleep)

robert: Lemme run and get it real quick.

[ringing] david: Hello?

-David? -Hey, what's going on?

Your dog done (bleep) all over my floor again.

David: Uh...

Uh-huh, that's great.

Okay, so when you go to your apartment,

I'm gonna need you to take that dog.

Thank you. I love you. I'll call you back.

Okay, now, where's rob? Rob? Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'm finished. I'm listening to you. Okay.

So we're sold out on both nights? Uh, yes.

Which makes me nervous. You know what I'm sayin'?

I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.

[clears throat]

♪♪

-see my [indistinct]... -Dsquared!

...That I am highly addicted to.

♪♪

what you...What, you want to know where I'm at?

[laughs] beck: Yeah, I want to... Alright.

I just want to sure it's rolling first.

-Okay. -Alright. It's good.

Where are we?

I'm in dc.

I don't like coming here because...

When my niece passed, things changed for me.

It was just bad.

It was a lot, you know,

so I'd like to see him, see how he's doing, so...

A lot -- a lot of memories, being here.

But, you know, memories are what you make them.

You can either make them bad, or you can make them good.

You see the good out of the memory.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

I think that tamar genuinely believes in the dream work,

and she's seeing how it's working.

Given that she lost her voice, her voice is getting better.

You know, when you do dream work,

you really have no idea what journey is going to begin,

and so I'm excited for her.

Beck: How is your throat feeling?

Listen, I'm going to speak things [clears throat]

into existence as if -- as if they are.

That's what the bible says. What it say?

[laughs] right.

I -- my throat is fine.

Da-boom!

♪♪

man: One, two, three! Let's go!

[indistinct singing]

♪♪

I can't -- I'm sorry, guys. I can't.

My voice is not that great.

I can't just sing for the... Of it, so we...

If we going to go through with the show,

we have to go through the show...

I need more background track...

For that.

♪♪

[cellphone chimes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

david: I think "braxton family values"

showed you the little issue with tamar's sister,

and there's a lot of drama around that.

You make it so hard to (bleep) love you.

You make it so hard.

♪♪

cheers. Get ya life.

Okay, this is not going to clear.

I don't even know... -I'm done with that.

David: I get along with her family,

but there's still work to be done.

♪♪

you're on the outside of your family.

But I can't do anything about it. What am I going to say?

"oh, please, please, please love me?

Please be nice to me? Please?"

well, I've done that, and that doesn't work.

Tamar loves your wife very, very much.

Let's figure out a way to get it resolved.

Why don't you come to the show? It's at 8.

He's saying that the show is going to humiliate me.

No. I have a brand to protect.

This show (bleep), this network (bleep) has (bleep) us

in so many ways, you understand what I'm saying?

His whole thing is that he doesn't want to put his family on tv

to look like a bunch of idiots. -Right.

But I can't talk him out of anything, like...

Because right now, we on the brink of having

a real major argument over this,

and it's not worth it.

♪♪

kevin: How you doing?

♪♪

what's up, bro? You look good as always, good to see you, man.

[indistinct]

♪♪

david: I'd love to bring both sisters together.

When you support each other, it's about family,

so I want to help, but I think it's gonna

take a while for us to build that bridge

where we have one family, with hers and mine.

So I'll do whatever I can to help tamar and support her.

You know, I never thought that tamar would date

someone with locks. [chuckles]

[laughs] I just wouldn't...

I would've never thought that.

We're so different. I'm african, she's american.

That's, like, two worlds, like, two worlds.

But the one connection we had...

You know, I met her June 27th.

We found that there was a connection

that I found with her.

When you find that, probably what you found with traci,

it's like, where else you gonna go?

The funny part is, when I met traci,

I was at a point in my life of total change.

She was very different.

I hadn't experienced a woman like that in my life,

and then the family dynamic was, like,

something I had never seen.

I mean, bringing it to date, man, I just...

Traci, tamar, what is it about that situation that...

Y'all in town right now. Did y'all come over the house?

No, we didn't, but I'll tell you why.

Go ahead. It's because of...

♪♪

...What happened in napa valley.

It wasn't family. Family doesn't do that.

We don't do that to each other.

She feels like all her rights were taken.

It's some deep-rooted stuff.

Tamar, you -- you come off harsh. I seen it.

I don't -- I haven't come off harsh to you. So you should be the best receiver of that.

That's why I don't talk to you,

'cause she feel like she don't have no support.

-I'm not interested. -You're not interested?

I told toni in napa,

I said, "toni, it's all trae need is support,

a phone call, say 'I love you. I'm checking on you,'

genuinely.

That's all she need.

But you got to stop fighting each other, man."

what happened then?

♪♪

man, I'll tell you.

They had a contract they was going sign.

All they name was on the contract.

All traci had to do was just sign it.

When she was told that she couldn't sign,

I saw her soul come out of her that day.

And all she ever wanted was just that support.

"go ahead, traci. Sign it. We got your back.

You ain't got to abort the baby."

she chose our son, and it shouldn't have been a choice,

and it still disturbs her today,

and that's why I do everything I can to protect her.

Family is very important to her.

Traci feels like they don't believe in her.

They don't believe in her marriage.

They don't believe in her as a mother.

All she ask for is just respect,

and I know how much she needs her sisters,

and they need each other.

They have so much to offer this world, man.

It's unreal, man.

With tamar, what's changed is, I've made her want to connect.

Okay like, really connect.

Okay. There's a lot of things in life

that are really important that she needs to connect back to.

If tamar and traci heal their relationship,

the entire family heals. Exactly, exactly.

The entire family.

Tamar loves your wife very, very much,

like, deep, like, real.

I've seen it. I believe that.

I've seen it.

Let's figure out a way to get it resolved.

When nigerians marry,

you bring both families together.

You become one.

It's less common in the american culture,

where, "I'm going to marry you,

and I don't care if your mom or your sister or your uncle

or your aunt or your son or your dad is involved."

you know, "as a matter of fact, keep them away."

we don't do that, so I think this could really help

bring both families together.

Why don't you come to the show? It's at 8. It's at 8?

Yeah. I'll check with traci and ask,

and I'll let you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that'd be great, and then maybe afterwards,

like, my birthday is in November.

I'm doing... You coming, right? I didn't know.

I wasn't asked. Y'all should come.

Well, I think you and traci should come.

I will talk to traci about just --

just coming together because logan deserves

to be around his cousins, all of them.

Yes. Yes. That's all I got to say.

To new beginnings. To new beginnings.

And happy endings. And happy endings, man.

I'm all for it, man. Amen.

Let's make it happen.

♪♪

goli: Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath. Tamar: Okay.

♪♪

I want you to feel a white light

that begins to hit the tips of your toes.

You can't heal anyone if you haven't healed yourself.

Moving up your ankles.

So the dream work begins the healing with the artist,

onward into the craft, into the art for the audience.

Moving up your belly and into your solar plexus.

It's not easy to always reach that success,

but she's on that road,

and I am praying and hoping that that's what tamar will do.

I believe she can.

Take a breath and make this sound,

"ha-a-a-a."

okay, baby.

Man: One, two, three! Let's go!

♪ hot sugar, sugar ♪

♪ I'll be his sweet little mama all the time ♪

♪ and we can do it now or later, that's fine ♪

♪ he want that sugar, he want that sugar ♪

♪ he want that sugar, sugar ♪

yeah.

Come on, little booty.

Where you going with the teenie-tiny booty?

You got little logan booty when he was 2.

It was so cute.

♪♪

I don't want to wear this.

Hey. I got titty sweat.

It's the material.

You see it? It's terrible. I would rather wear that.

[indistinct] I feel you, but the titty sweat and the...

That's not right. It's not right.

Let's just put this on real fast. Okay, let's go.

Oh, can y'all get out?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-yes! -Y'all look so cute.

-Yes! -I love those outfits.

-Thank you. -Is everybody here?

We thank you so much for choosing all of us,

once again, for our talents, lord god,

anointing, lord god, in your presence, in your love.

Lord god, we thank you for great energy,

great fun, lord god... -Yes.

...A perfect vocal, lord god.

We thank you for perfect dance, lord god.

We thank you for perfect music, god.

Thank you for sending the right people.

How about that? -Yes! Amen!

How about that? -Whoo-hoo!

-In jesus' name we pray, amen. -Amen!

-Alright. -Alright, yeah!

[cheers and applause] pass these down.

♪♪

man: When I say tamar, y'all say braxton!

Tamar! -Braxton!

-Tamar! -Braxton!

Put your hands together for tamar braxton!

[cheers and applause] man: One, two, three! Here we go!

♪ you're my little pick-me-up, whenever I'm feeling down ♪

♪ I don't need no other drug ♪

♪ I got what I need right now ♪

♪ la-da-da-dee, you're the party ♪

♪ sure know how to love somebody ♪

♪ you're my little pick-me-up ♪

♪ whenever I'm feeling down ♪

I just want to know where my ladies at.

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct singing]

♪♪

♪♪

goli: I -- I love watching tamar perform

and seeing where she is in her highest potential, actually.

I'm seeing it.

Her voice is really powerful and strong.

There's something so beautiful about somebody exploring

and exploding and revealing and unveiling

because the beauty of her insides are now exposed.

That's where the gold is.

♪ a-a-a-ah ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪♪

[indistinct conversation, clapping]

man: Bitch, you are cute!

-Hey, tamar. -Oh, my god. David! Hi.

-How you guys doing? -This is david.

-Hey, david. -This is [indistinct].

-Good to see you. -Have a seat, baby.

Goli: Tamar, you blew us away.

Tamar: Goli, I'm not going to lie.

This dream work, I believe, period.

Tamar is so open and so trusting that often,

you find people coming in that shouldn't be there.

Very often, they have their own agenda.

Hi! Mwah!

You want to do a picture? -Yes.

Can we do it in the hall?

I don't know what goli's motives are with tamar.

I'm not that involved, you know,

with the process tamar is going through with her,

the dream work.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

What I do know is that I need to know more.

Man: One, two, three.

♪♪

you are on the outside of your family.

But I can't do anything about it. What I'm going to say?

"oh, please, please, please, please love me.

Please be nice to me."

people cut family off. Be clear.

Sometimes you have to make a decision about your blood.

I feel like I'm being penalized for being tamar.

David, you're pushing the way that you feel on everybody else,

and it's not right.

What?! He thinks I am an american devil-worshipper.

[laughs] like, what in the world?

Goli: [crying] they're saying t-that this is against god,

that this is witchcraft.

He just said, "it's going to destroy goli's business,"

and I can't.

I can't talk him out of anything because right now,

we on the brink of having a real major argument over this.

♪♪

david, david, you're pushing the way

that you feel on everybody else, and it's not right.

But you explained it wrong! It is not negative.

It's not, and what you don't see

is that you're imposing your feelings to your family too.

Tamar: What?!

Okay. Wow.

He thinks that I am an american devil-worshipper.

Like, what in the world? -You know what?

Somebody tell goli don't wear all black and a hat.

Alright. David, I will talk to you later.

What's happening? Why are you upset?

♪♪

first of all, I didn't dream last night.

-You -- you didn't? -No.

What...How... Was it an odd night?

You have to fill me in. I have no idea what happened.

Well, you know, david is a real hard-core christian,

and that's one of the things that I really,

really love about him, right,

but he is apprehensive about the whole dream-work stuff,

but we kind of knew that. -Yeah.

I just didn't know how deep he was.

He doesn't believe it?

For whatever reason, from the beginning,

david has not liked me,

and he wants to call it voodoo or witchcraft,

but no one's ever, ever accused me of any such thing ever,

and I signed onboard to work with her, not him.

-Yeah. Yeah. -That's what it is.

He doesn't have a clear understanding of what it is yet.

Period. It's so amazing how this dream work

has become such a pain-in-the-ass issue.

I think when you start, you know,

people are going to see or just look at you.

Y'all need to get her a shawl or a poncho because...

With color because y'all don't want them to think darkness

because she's wearing all black. -I know.

I look like a witch, right, today?

Talk about (bleep) perfect.

[cellphone ringing] hold on, please.

Hey.

I -- I don't. I don't.

It has zero to do with religion.

You haven't said one thing positive.

I just -- I just want you to... [exhales]

the way you went about it is still something

that I don't agree with. It's about creativity.

-It's not about god or religion. -Okay.

Either y'all going to be quiet or get out

because what I don't want is --

is for david to feel disrespected.

Please don't do that.

Fine.

We gonna hook you up, sis.

That's not what you sellin', and it's very discouraging.

That's all I have to say.

Okay.

Okay.

So I seem a little more matronly.

What?

I'm -- look, I can't get --

I'm really, really, really, really, really tired

because this has, like, drained me.

You feel a certain kind of way,

so you want to impose that on everybody else.

♪♪

that's your opinion.

♪♪

I don't want my business destroyed.

[tamar talking indistinctly in distance] I can't do this.

What?! Yeah, but you got... I -- I get...

Okay. Wow.

[crying] my teacher told me that they were going

to make fun of the work,

and there's too many successful actors

in the dream work that will be offended

by being shamed like this.

They're saying t-that this is against god,

that it's witchcraft.

He said just, "this is going to destroy goli's business."

I worked hard to have -- I was a model. I was an actress.

I work with huge stars. I know.

Sofia coppola made movies based on dreams.

I can't. I can't...

No. ...Work like that.

Listen to me. He's not clear.

No, he's saying that the show is going to humiliate me. He's panicking.

No. I have a brand to protect.

Michael!

Just hang out right here for a second.

Hey, tay.

Like, I... This is -- this is -- I can't.

I -- I have to go to sleep.

No, I'm -- I'm wore out.

I -- I can't.

I can't. I just can't.

Like, this show (bleep), this network (bleep)

has (bleep) us in so many ways.

You understand what I'm saying?

His whole thing is, he doesn't want to put his family on tv

to look like a bunch of idiots. -Right.

I feel like we can separate his family from the dream work.

They can be two separate things. They don't have to be involved.

They don't have to see it. They don't have to be a part of it.

But I can't talk him out of anything, like

because right now, we on the brink of having

a real major argument over this, and it's not worth it.

Right. This is a lot.

Like, it's -- it's a lot.

-Goli? -Yeah?

You know we love you. I can't do the work with her like this.

All in her... It's too many obstacles.

But I think that's why they brought you in

because you can do it.

Somehow, some way,

you gonna have to push through the obstacles.

In church, we used to say,

"you got to go through to get to."

you got to push through it

because this is all about evolving.

It's nothing to discredit your work.

You're too good of a person, and your work is...

Clearly, it's working, you know?

Yeah, I know.

It's working.

I have no desire to speak to david right now.

I'm tired. Okay. Let me talk to him.

Whatever you want to do.

[ringing]

david: Hello?

Hey, david. Hey, michael.

What's going on?

You know, I think maybe there's been

a misunderstanding about what the dream work is,

and we haven't even really seen you experience, like,

what tamar is doing with this dream work.

-Yeah. -We actually haven't even

had, like, on camera, like, a good conversation

between you and goli where you can even

just pick her brain about it,

so I think maybe when you're free,

you can come up here and see it.

Uh...

Okay, yeah. Okay.

I'm very happy to have a conversation with goli.

-Okay. Great. -Great.

Yeah.

-Hey. -Hey, tay.

What's up? He wants to talk to you.

Hello? Hey, babe. I want to come today.

I want to come, and I want to watch it.

I also want to come, and I want to talk to goli.

Yeah, because you...

You know, let me tell you something.

She's upset.

She -- she's like me. She feels everything.

[goli crying]

she really likes you, and she really, really likes me,

and, you know, and I think the last thing

that anybody want to do is trick anybody.

I -- I don't know.

I can't even really talk that much anymore.

If you're going to come, great. Love to see you. Sure thing.

A big part of why I didn't want to talk to her...

-I don't wanna hear that... -Alright.

Well, we'll see you when you come.

-Yeah. -Alright. Thanks, david. Bye.

Goli: I feel a boundary has been crossed,

and if I really followed my intuition and instinct,

I would walk away tonight,

saying that this is not going to work

because we're not dealing with the actual work.

We're dealing with so-and-so's opinion,

meaningless to the dream work.

[crying] I can't function like this.

♪♪

tamar: I'm over it. Like...

Let me just go in and see what's happening.

-Okay. -I had to head down to set

to see what the hell was going on.

There's so much that we're not getting access to.

Yeah. I need to know once and for all,

are we in this or not?

[cellphone ringing] hold on. This is todrick.

Hold on one second. I've been waiting on this call.

Hey, superstar black man?

-What you doing? -What you doing?

I'm having a production meeting. What are you doing?

I'm just, uh, at my show at the theater in orlando,

but I'm doing my show in atlanta, but I was like,

"I wish tamar was going to be around

to come up there and do a number onstage."

you want me to do a number with you?

I want you to sing one of your songs. Oh!

You should just come out and just do, like, three songs.

Three? Bitch. [laughter]

you want me do a concert in your concert.

[laughs] can I bring my baggage?

Yes, 1,000%.

Okay. I'll s-- I'm going to call you

about an hour and a half, okay?

-Okay. I love you. Bye. -I love you, bye. Bye.

-Oh, my god. Thank you. -Yes.

What's going on, go? What's wrong with you?

Because it's so hard.

I guess I'm vulnerable and sensitive to you,

and it's just really painful to see

that we can't do our work in a safe and proper way.

It's like you're being shamed for the work

that you want to do.

♪♪

I don't think you have a clear understanding

of what's going on. No.

It's not that, so I need you to calm down

because once you start crying... I know.

...I'm gonna start.

I'm going to just go and try to...

Okay. [indistinct]

♪♪

beck: Why do you think you're so upset?

I'm not used to working with people's mothers

or fathers or husbands or significant...

When you work, you work with them very deeply.

It takes me off my game, and that's a sabotage.

I cannot work like this. I can't.

I can't help her.

I don't get a chance to even work with her.

Every time, it's a block. It's a this.

It's the issue, the issue.

I have to wear her sweater so I don't look like

I'm some voodoo practitioner because I'm in overalls.

It's not normal, and it's starting to break me down,

and that's never happened to me.

I've been everywhere around the world.

I'm really disturbed.

No one told me that I was signing aboard to coach david.

I came to coach tamar. I know how to do my work.

[crying] this is so unfair to me.

♪♪

♪♪

-yeah. -What's happening, my love?

Lang: She's still getting her hair done. Uh-huh.

I think there's a world where michael could just tell her

that you're here. Let me just go in

and see what's happening. -Okay. Alright.

Mona: So I got a call from production

that david referred to what goli does as witchcraft.

There was spiraling.

She was quitting, so I had to head down

to set to see what the hell was going on.

♪♪

how are you guys?

It was a lot of emotions running high.

David has his religious beliefs.

He's always said them very clearly.

He told his family about her.

They had an issue with it,

and they were the ones who were saying,

"don't do this."

mm-hmm.

Right, exactly. He told them too much.

He probably should've just let him meet her,

form their own opinions.

This is what this whole process is about,

stepping outside of your comfort zone,

allowing yourself to experience and elevate.

From other people getting in the way of the (bleep)

you're trying to do again.

We have to figure out how you can stay focused

because guess what?

Every time we are dealing with something,

it's never your own issue.

Like, when do you have time to deal with your own (bleep)?

People are going to have their beliefs.

This whole process is supposed to be about growth

in every way, shape or form.

Alright.

I'm talking about my living room, my room.

Let me change my pants because she can't be talking

to me looking like --

looking like that, and I'm looking like this.

[laughter] that's a lie.

Mona: So what happened exactly?

Because I got bits and pieces of it. That's why I came over.

I came to coach her. Uh-huh.

And we were going to walk through one of her dreams.

Mm-hmm. But then I come,

and it's like, david is on the phone

talking about how this is magic or voodoo...

Mm-hmm. ...Or whatever.

I've never had to deal with... Okay.

...So much negativity... Mm-hmm.

...To the point where, when I think

about the work, I feel sick now.

Okay. Let's just take a deep breath.

She's like a ray of sunshine,

but then everything else around her

is pulling her down to negativity.

How do you get rid of that?

When it comes to her creativity, she has to say,

"nobody can tell me what to do. This is my work. This is my job.

This is my dream, and it's not your business."

but when there's so many opinions constantly,

when does she have the time to do that?

She's... Tamar!

♪♪

hey. I was just sharing with goli there

are all these levels of control still happening in your life,

and control was something that we talked about early on.

You set out on this mission.

You said to me you want to do this.

You have all the friggin' resources at your disposal.

This is your crew. I'm here for you.

[cellphone ringing] goli's here for you.

It's coming together, right? Yeah, it is.

When we started this, we didn't know what the hell? Yeah.

Are we going to be able to put a show together?

But as it relates to the show, I feel like there's so much

happening that we're not getting access to.

This ain't for y'all.

Unh-uh. -Tay.

[door slams]

every black woman is not angry!

If -- if anything...

I got to break up some (bleep)?

That's stupid.

Okay, you guys.

So I just got a call from tamar's lawyer,

and we are being asked to leave the premises.

Like, you have to let us into that... Yeah.

And those moments where things are happening

that impact you, we're not getting.

Every single day that you have been upset,

crying, distracted has not had anything to do with you.

I don't know because it's never been like this before,

and I'm just so confused because I feel like we've all...

All three of us have had different conversations,

and they've been very positive, very open, and very different.

I don't know where this is coming from today.

Sometimes there's just an air of sabotage that exists.

I definitely don't want to feel choked or stifled.

I don't want to carry other people's...Anymore.

I need to put a period on this...

I need to know once and for all,

are we in this or not?

You are on the outside of your family.

But I can't do anything about it. What I'm going to say?

"oh, please, please, please, please, love me.

Please be nice to me."

people cut family off. Be clear.

Sometimes you have to make a decision about your blood.

Mona: I need to put a period on this...

I need to know once and for all,

are we in this or not?

Um, I don't know.

I feel like I'm being penalized for being tamar.

What you do, you know,

need to consider is dealing with things.

Is traci coming up on Saturday for his party?

I know I talked to the rest of my siblings.

And my mom and... Okay. Are they coming?

They're not interested in coming, so...

What do you mean, not interested in coming?

I don't know, but I --

I can't...

Chase anybody...

-Right. -...Anymore. I am tired.

Are you telling me that you are prepared to completely dismiss,

cut off ties with, never have any interaction again?

People cut family off. Be clear.

Sometimes you have to make a decision about your blood.

It's very hard to talk about,

especially with the baggage around because...

Is that what we're calling the crew, baggage? Baggage.

-Okay. -[laughs]

I didn't know she was talking about you guys.

You're the baggage. Okay.

It's hard for me to talk about when they're around

because of all of the things that has been perpetuated

on our family's show, right? Mm-hmm.

Even going back to, like, second season,

not knowing that everybody was upset with me.

All of a sudden, it's tamar versus everybody.

It's deeper. It's deep.

It's no resolve, even from the time,

you know, that my mom decided that she would talk to tmz

and not have a conversation with me.

First time I seen it was on the news like everybody else.

That's a problem. It's a problem!

You been all quiet and stuff. No, I'm not being quiet. Just answer the question.

Because I need to know what I need to tell people...

-Am I being quiet? -...On the streets

when they ask me questions.

Tell them to mind their (bleep) business.

I don't even feel like I'm talking to my sister right now.

I kind of feel like I should get beat up or attacked

because I kind of feel that way, and I feel that way

because I am the person that's going through it.

So wait. How do you guys interact

with each other now when you see each other?

Um, we don't really see each other

outside of the cameras, outside of the "values."

are you kidding me? No, no, no.

We should be putting everything that

is important in your life, and important meaning

whether it's because you want deal with it

or you don't want to deal with it

because the... You don't want to deal with

is just as important, right, because it's affecting you

in ways you're not even conscious of.

We should be putting all of that...Through this filter.

Yeah, well, mona, I tried.

I invited everyone to david's party,

to my house for thanksgiving, and no one wants to come.

You invited them to your house for thanksgiving?

Yes.

Tamar, I am not a therapist,

but there is something incredibly unhealthy

for you emotionally about accepting the fact

that you are on the outside of your family.

It cannot be healthy. It cannot be. No, it's not.

But I can't do anything about it. What am I going to say?

"oh, please, please, please, please, love me.

[voice breaking] please be nice to me. Please.

♪♪

please be here for me.

Come see me."

it's like I see you and it's almost like --

you're in pain. You're in pain. Yeah.

If we believe in the work that you're going through

and the change that is happening within you... Yeah.

...That conversation should be different.

I believe, like, with family, you never stop trying.

Mm-hmm. But sometimes, you end up hurting yourself even more...

I get that. ...When you are constantly being rejected.

Okay. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Okay. And that's where I am.

I get it, and I understand that.

We should get goli and talk about life

because she gives you that assignment.

What happens if we gear that assignment

towards alignment with your family

and towards better understanding?

You know what I'm saying? -I do.

I'm interested. I'm in, you know? Let's point that laser and see what happens.

Like, if we're doing this... Let's, like,

apply it across the board.

Um...

I'm open to it.

Okay.

Go-go bean.

Go-go bean, we just, uh, had an idea.

You know how we've been focusing the dream work

and the assignments, right,

on the career stuff, the stage stuff.

We're going to do the personal stuff.

Towards her family.

But we have to go into the darkness to get to the light.

Mm-hmm. Obviously, we're encountering that right now.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. And we have to put it into the art.

Preach. Are you listening to this?

She don't have to talk me into it.

I experienced it. It's already happening.

And I keep -- I keep saying, like, had I not experienced it

and had that moment where I really did feel

like I was in tune with myself and had a conversation,

I mean, I would probably be apprehensive, as well.

-Right. -I am not!

It was a powerful moment that I had with myself

that I needed to have.

Every great song ever written was based

on someone's struggle, journey, pain, epiphany.

If we can have the distractions silenced,

she can get this done because your time is money,

and your time is important. Why -- why is this not a conversation with david?

I would love to. I mean... That should be the conversation.

We should. There's only one person who has been negative with me.

It is david because he is afraid of me.

I just think his main concern is making sure

my soul is anchored in the lord. [laughs]

exactly. I gots to go.

You've got very little time.

♪♪

david: How you guys doing?

Beck: Hey, david. Good to see you.

I decided to meet with goli

because I have a right to ask questions.

I saw a lot of people in lagos,

growing up there, paying a heavy price for success.

You know, you go give a sacrifice.

You give goats.

You give, you know, maybe chickens.

So when I see tamar getting involved

with something that's very spiritual,

I got to ask myself,

"what price is tamar going to have to pay?

My life? Logan's?

Our happiness? What's the price?"

♪♪