All language subtitles for Seth Meyers 2020 09 24 Alicia Vikander WEB h264 WEBTUBE_track3_eng

>> Announcer: TONIGHT, ON

"LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS,"

ALICIA VIKANDER,

CREATORS AND STARS OF "PEN15,"

MAYA ERSKINE AND ANNA KONKLE

AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK.

FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH

FRED ARMISEN

AND NOW, SETH MEYERS

>> Seth: GOOD EVENING, I'M

SETH MEYERS AND THIS IS "LATE

NIGHT.

WE ARE HOPING YOU'RE DOING WELL

TONIGHT.

LET'S GET TO THE NEWS.

DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE LAST

NIGHT, PRESIDENT TRUMP REFUSED

TO COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL

TRANSITION OF POWER IF HE LOSES

TO FORMER VICE PRESIDENT

JOE BIDEN AND SAID, QUOTE,

"WE'LL HAVE TO SEE WHAT

HAPPENS.

"SEE WHAT HAPPENS"

FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE A

DICTATOR, YOU SURE SOUND LIKE A

SPECTATOR.

YOU ARE COMING OFF LIKE

RYAN SEACREST ON "AMERICAN

IDOL."

"WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER

THE BREAK.

I THINK THE MISTAKE WAS PHRASING

THE QUESTION THAT WAY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED, IF

JOE BIDEN WINS, DO YOU COMMIT TO

PLAYING EVEN MORE GOLF

THAT'S RIGHT, PRESIDENT TRUMP

REFUSED TO COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL

TRANSITION OF POWER IF HE LOSES

TO FORMER VICE PRESIDENT

JOE BIDEN, AND THE "NEW YORK

TIMES" PUT IT ON PAGE A-15

DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE WHAT A

BIG DEAL THIS IS

ONE TIME HILLARY SNEEZED AND YOU

RELEASED A SPECIAL EDITION

WHITE HOUSE CORONAVIRUS

COORDINATOR DR. DEBORAH BIRX HAS

REPORTEDLY TOLD AIDES THAT SHE

IS CONSIDERING RESIGNING DUE TO

HER DISTRESS WITH THE CURRENT

STATE OF THE VIRUS TASK FORCE.

THE CURRENT STATE?

YOUR BOSS WAS TELLING PEOPLE TO

SHOOT UP BLEACH MONTHS AGO

YOU SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS ON

SEASON 4 OF "LOST" SAYING,

"MAYBE IT WILL START MAKING

SENSE SOON

YOU'VE GOT TO STICK IT OUT."

PRESIDENT TRUMP GAVE A SPEECH IN

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA,

TODAY.

SAID TRUMP, "I LOVE CHARLOTTE.

IN FACT I CONSIDER MYSELF A

CHARLATAN.

IAN, THE WRITER WHO WROTE THAT

JOKE PROBABLY FINISHED IT,

CRACKED HIS KNUCKLES, POURED A

GLASS OF SCOTCH.

SAID, "I'VE DONE IT.

I'VE WRITTEN THE PERFECT JOKE.

EITHER THAT OR BAKED A LOAF OF

BREAD FOR ONE OF HIS CATS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE IS A WEIRD -- HE'S A WEIRD

FELLA.

SET A NEW STANDARD WITH THE

CHARLATAN JOKE, THOUGH

WE WILL ALL BE CHASING THAT FOR

THE REST OF THE YEAR

A JUDGE RULED YESTERDAY THAT

PRESIDENT TRUMP'S SON ERIC MUST

ANSWER A SUBPOENA ORDERING HIM

TO TESTIFY IN THE NEW YORK

ATTORNEY GENERAL'S PROBE INTO

THE TRUMP ORGANIZATION FINANCES,

BUT IT WILL PROBABLY STILL BE A

WHILE BEFORE WE GET ANY ANSWERS.

"RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND

YOUR OTHER RIGHT

THAT'S YOUR LEG.

AMAZON CEO JEFF BEZOS ANNOUNCED

EARLIER THIS WEEK HIS FOUNDATION

WILL OPEN ITS FIRST PRESCHOOL

CALLED THE BEZOS ACADEMY

BIG DEAL

NETFLIX HAS BEEN RUNNING A

PRESCHOOL IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR

MONTHS

PRESIDENT TRUMP ADDRESSED THE

NATIONAL CATHOLIC PRAYER

BREAKFAST YESTERDAY IN A

PRERECORDED SPEECH

OF COURSE, IF HE WAS CATHOLIC,

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN REASSIGNED TO

A NEW COUNTRY BY NOW

ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, HAWAII

IS THE HAPPIEST STATE.

THAT STORY AGAIN, HAWAII IS THE

STATE FURTHEST AWAY FROM THE

REST OF AMERICA.

THE MAKERS OF REESE'S CANDY

ANNOUNCED YESTERDAY THEY WILL BE

OFFERING PEANUT BUTTER CUPS WITH

PRETZELS, WHICH IS FRANKLY MORE

HELPFUL THAN ANYTHING THE

DEMOCRATS ARE OFFERING

AND FINALLY, "ROLLING STONE"

MAGAZINE HAS RELEASED AN UPDATED

LIST OF THE 500 GREATEST ALBUMS

OF ALL TIME.

"BUT I HAVEN'T MADE 500 ALBUMS,"

SAID KANYE WEST.

AND THAT -- YOU GUYS, THAT WAS

THE MONOLOGUE.

WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS

ALICIA VIKANDER IS HERE TO TALK

ABOUT HER NEW FILM "THE

GLORIAS.

PLUS, THE CREATORS AND STARS OF

"PEN15," WHICH IS BACK FOR ITS

SECOND SEASON ON HULU.

IT'S SUCH A FUNNY SHOW

MAYA ERSKINE AND ANNA KONKLE

WILL JOIN US

BUT, BEFORE WE GET TO ALL OF

THAT, IN ONE OF THE MOST

CHILLING MOMENTS OF HIS

PRESIDENCY -- AND THERE HAVE

BEEN A FEW -- DONALD TRUMP

REFUSED TO COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL

TRANSITION OF POWER, AS

REPUBLICANS FORMULATED A PLAN TO

STEAL THE ELECTION THROUGH THE

COURTS

FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR

"A CLOSER LOOK."

>> Seth: WE'RE AS CLOSE AS WE

HAVE EVER BEEN TO LOSING OUR

DEMOCRACY AND WATCHING OUR

GOVERNMENT TRANSFORM INTO AN

AUTOCRATIC REGIME.

IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF

OUR EYES, RIGHT NOW.

YOU DON'T NEED TO WAIT FOR TRUMP

TO ROLL DOWN PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE

ON A TANK AND GREEN FATIGUES

WITH A LONG CHIN BEARD,

ESPECIALLY SINCE IF HE DID TRY

TO GROW ONE, HE'D PROBABLY JUST

LOOK LIKE A VERY SICK CHIHUAHUA.

I THINK MY DOG IS DYING.

HE IS DRINKING WATER

NO, JUST LIKE DIET COKE.

LIKE TEN -- TEN A DAY.

THE PRESIDENT IS FALSELY

CLAIMING THE ELECTION IS RIGGED.

THE GOP CHAIR IN PENNSYLVANIA

TOLD "THE ATLANTIC," ON THE

RECORD, THAT THEY'RE CONSIDERING

A PLAN TO STEAL THE STATE'S

ELECTORAL VOTES IF THEY LOSE,

AND REPUBLICANS ARE BASICALLY

ANNOUNCING THEIR INTENTION TO

USE THE COURTS TO OVERTURN THE

ELECTION RESULTS

AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, THE

PRESIDENT LAST NIGHT REFUSED TO

COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF

POWER, EFFECTIVELY THREATENING

VIOLENCE UNLESS BALLOTS ARE

THROWN OUT AND HE IS ALLOWED TO

STAY IN OFFICE

SURE

THAT THERE IS A PEACEFUL

TRANSFERAL OF POWER AFTER THE

ELECTION

>> WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEE

WHAT HAPPENS

YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN

COMPLAINING VERY STRONGLY ABOUT

THE BALLOTS.

AND THE BALLOTS ARE A DISASTER

AND --

>> I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT PEOPLE

ARE RIOTING.

DO YOU COMMIT TO MAKING SURE

THAT THERE'S A PEACEFUL

TRANSFERAL OF POWER?

>> I KNOW, I KNOW.

WE WANT TO HAVE -- GET RID OF

THE BALLOTS AND YOU'LL HAVE A

VERY TRANSFER -- WE'LL HAVE A

VERY PEACEFUL -- THERE WON'T BE

A TRANSFER, FRANKLY, THERE WILL

BE A CONTINUATION.

>> Seth: ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT

BACK, HE PROBABLY WILL GROW THAT

DICTATOR BEARD

"DO YOU LIKE IT?

I COMB IT WITH A FORK.

HERE'S A LITTLE PASTA TWIRL.

SO, TRUMP IS THREATENING

VIOLENCE UNLESS WE GET RID OF

THE BALLOTS.

HE IS THREATENING A COUP D'ETAT.

EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE HE HAS NO

IDEA WHAT THE PHRASE COUP D'ETAT

MEANS.

HE PROBABLY THINKS IT'S A LYRIC

FROM "MOULIN ROUGE!"

"VOULEZ-VOUZ COUCHER COUP

D'ETAT, CE SOIR?

WE'RE IN A TRULY TREACHEROUS

MOMENT, YET WE CAN STILL ENJOY A

"MOULIN ROUGE!" JOKE

OUR DEMOCRACY HASN'T BEEN

HEALTHY IN A LONG TIME, BUT NOW

IT'S IN A DEATH SPIRAL

THE PRESIDENT IS THREATENING

VIOLENCE IF HE LOSES

ARMED RIGHT WING MILITIAS ARE

ROAMING THE STREETS IN

LOUISVILLE INTIMIDATING

PROTESTERS

THE PRESIDENT IS GLORIFYING

STATE VIOLENCE AGAINST

JOURNALISTS.

JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, HE CALLED

FOR OVERWHELMING FORCE TO

SUPPRESS PROTESTS, LABELED

DEMOCRATIC CITIES ANARCHIST

JURISDICTIONS, AND HIS CAMPAIGN,

CALLED FOR AN ARMY OF SUPPORTERS

TO JOIN AN ELECTION SECURITY

SQUAD.

IF THIS WERE HAPPENING IN ANY

OTHER COUNTRY, YOU WOULD EXPECT

TO SEE PRO REGIME MILITANTS,

DRIVING THROUGH THE STREETS IN

PICKUP TRUCKS, ATTACKING PEOPLE

AND WAVING FLAGS AND AH, GOD

DAMMIT

THE ONLY THING MISSING FROM THAT

CLIP IS A FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT

FOR THE BBC IN A FLACK JACKET.

"THE SCENE HERE IS TENSE, AS PRO

REGIME FORCES CLASH WITH

DISSIDENTS -- AND I'M SORRY I'M

JUST GETTING WORD THE REGIME HAS

SENT ITS ARMADA OF JET SKIS AND

PARTY BOATS TO BLOCKADE THE

PORT, LEAVING NOTHING IN THEIR

WAKE BUT EMPTY ALUMINIUM CANS OF

NATURAL LIGHT OR AS IT'S CALLED

IN THE LOCAL VERNACULAR, NATTY

LIGHT.

YES, WE DID GO WELL OUT OF OUR

WAY TO SAY ALUMINIUM."

BUT DON'T WORRY.

DON'T WORRY, GUYS, THE WHITE

HOUSE PRESS CORPS IS READY TO

STEP IN TO ITS ROLE AS THE

GUARDIAN OF DEMOCRACY IN THIS

PERILOUS MOMENT FOR THE

REPUBLIC

MEGHAN MARKLE

CHIMED IN ON THE U.S. ELECTION

AND ESSENTIALLY ENCOURAGED

PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR JOE BIDEN

I WANTED TO GET YOUR REACTION TO

THAT

>> Seth: HMM, I DON'T HAVE MY

GLASSES ON

WAS THAT WOODWARD OR BERNSTEIN

DOES "US WEEKLY" HAVE A WHITE

HOUSE CORRESPONDENT?

ALTHOUGH I BET EVEN "US WEEKLY"

WOULD DROP ITS HARRY AND MEGHAN

COVERAGE FOR THIS.

SERIOUSLY, IF THE PRESIDENT

THREATENS TO DESTROY AMERICAN

DEMOCRACY BY SEIZING POWER

THROUGH VIOLENCE, MAYBE SCRAP

YOUR PRE-PLANNED QUESTION ABOUT

HARRY AND MEGHAN

YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO, YOU

KNOW, PIVOT ON THE FLY

WHAT IF AT HIS NEXT PRESS

CONFERENCE, TRUMP TAKES OUT THE

RED BUTTON AND THREATENS TO NUKE

SEATTLE UNLESS THEY GIVE HIM

$1 BILLION

SIR, I'D LOVE TO HEAR MORE OF

YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT NUKING

SEATTLE, BUT "KEEPING UP WITH

THE KARDASHIANS" IS ENDING

DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THAT?

AND I'VE GOT TO ASK, WHY AREN'T

MORE ELECTED DEMOCRATS ACTING

LIKE THIS IS THE EMERGENCY IT

IS

THEY ARE ABOUT AS EFFECTIVE AS

THE RECEPTIONIST ON "LAW AND

ORDER" WHO SAYS "HEY, YOU CAN'T

GO IN THERE," WHILE THEY'RE

GOING IN THERE

DEMOCRATS SHOULD BE GRINDING THE

GEARS OF GOVERNMENT TO A HALT

UNTIL THE REPUBLICAN PARTY VOWS

TO RESPECT THE ELECTION OUTCOME

AND COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL

TRANSITION OF POWER.

THEY SHOULD BE HOLDING PUBLIC

TELEVISED HEARINGS ABOUT THIS.

THE ONLY PERSON I HEARD TALK

ABOUT IT IS BERNIE SANDERS

>> WHAT DO WE DO IF TRUMP LOSES

AND HE WON'T LEAVE OFFICE?

>> WHAT WE HAVE GOT TO DO IS

WORK IN A NUMBER OF WAYS

AND ONE OF THE WAYS IS -- I'M

WORKING ON THIS RIGHT NOW -- IS

TO DEMAND THAT BOTH THE HOUSE

AND THE SENATE HOLD HEARINGS,

RIGHT NOW, TO EDUCATE THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT MIGHT

HAPPEN AND TO DEVELOP ANTIDOTES

TO THAT.

SO WE'VE GOT TO EDUCATE THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT IS IN

FRONT OF US, AND RALLY THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE TO TELL

DONALD TRUMP THAT TOO MANY

PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY HAVE

FOUGHT AND DIED TO DEFEND

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY, AND IF AND

WHEN YOU LOSE, YOU ARE GETTING

OUT OF OFFICE.

>> Seth: THE BEST PART OF ANY

BERNIE INTERVIEW DURING THE

PANDEMIC ARE HIS ZOOM

BACKGROUNDS.

IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU USE THE

COMPUTER AT YOUR GRANDPARENT'S

HOUSE, AND THEIR DESKTOP STILL

HAS THE DEFAULT BACKGROUND FROM

WINDOWS.

HIS BACKGROUNDS ALWAYS LOOK LIKE

THE COVER OF A NATURE SOUNDS CD.

"BIRDS SINGING, CRICKETS

CHIRPING, THE SOUND OF A

BABBLING BROOK, AS YOU GENTLY

DRIFT OFF TO SLEEP

NOW GO TO SLEEP, CD OVER, I GOT

WORK TO DO."

BUT HE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

DEMOCRATS SHOULD BE HOLDING

HIGHLY-PUBLICIZED HEARINGS ABOUT

THIS

THEY SHOULD BE SLOWING DOWN

SENATE BUSINESS, DOING

EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO FORCE

REPUBLICANS TO COMMIT TO HONOR

THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION,

BECAUSE TRUMP CLEARLY WILL NOT

HE HAS SAID AS MUCH REPEATEDLY

OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS, AND

YET, WE ALL JUST KIND OF SIGH

AND MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES

WHENEVER HE SCREAMS SOMETHING

ABOUT MAIL-IN BALLOTS OR RIGGED

ELECTIONS, WE'RE ALL LIKE

TOURISTS ROLLING UP OUR CAR

WINDOWS IN TIMES SQUARE.

"HONEY, QUICK, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR IS

COMING THIS WAY AND FOR SOME

REASON, HE HAS A GIANT SWORD."

BUT TRUMP HAS MADE IT VERY CLEAR

FOR MONTHS NOW, THAT HE WILL NOT

CONSIDER THE ELECTION LEGITIMATE

IF HE LOSES, BASED ON HIS MADE

UP CLAIMS OF MAIL-IN VOTING

FRAUD.

DISASTER, THE LIKES OF WHICH OUR

COUNTRY HAS NEVER SEEN

IT'LL END UP BEING A RIGGED

ELECTION OR THEY WILL NEVER COME

OUT WITH AN OUTCOME.

THEY WILL HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN.

AND NOBODY WANTS THAT.

AND I DON'T WANT THAT.

YOU WON'T KNOW THE ELECTION

RESULTS FOR WEEKS, MONTHS, MAYBE

YEARS AFTER.

MAYBE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE

ELECTION RESULT, AND THAT'S WHAT

I'M CONCERNED WITH

IT WILL BE FIXED, IT WILL BE

RIGGED

PEOPLE OUGHT TO GET SMART.

IT WILL BE THE GREATEST RIGGED

ELECTION IN HISTORY.

IT WILL BE THE GREATEST FRAUD

EVER PERPETRATED

THE ONLY WAY WE ARE GOING TO

LOSE THIS ELECTION IS IF THE

ELECTION IS RIGGED

REMEMBER THAT.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE ARE GOING

TO LOSE THIS ELECTION.

>> Seth: YOU THINK THE ONLY WAY

YOU COULD POSSIBLY LOSE IS IF

IT'S RIGGED?

YOU HAVEN'T CRACKED 50% IN THE

POLLING AVERAGE ALL YEAR

THAT IS LIKE K-FED SAYING THE

ONLY REASON HIS ALBUM DIDN'T GO

PLATINUM WAS BECAUSE THE

"BILLBOARD" CHARTS WERE RIGGED

AGAINST POPOZAO.

"WE LOVE 'POPOZAO,' DON'T WE

FOLKS?

YOU ARE HEARING IT MORE AND

MORE."

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AHEAD OF BIDEN

IN THE POLLING AVERAGE ONCE.

YOU LOST THE POPULAR VOTE BY

THREE MILLION, AND YOUR APPROVAL

NUMBERS HAVE BEEN UNDERWATER

SINCE YOU LAUNCHED YOUR

CAMPAIGN

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AT 100% AMONG

TRUMPS

YOU'RE EVEN LAGGING AMONG OLD

PEOPLE IN FLORIDA.

THAT'S YOUR KEY CONSTITUENCY

YOU ARE AN OLD PERSON IN

FLORIDA.

THAT'S LIKE HODA AND JENNA

FINDING OUT THEY ARE LOSING THE

KEY DEMO OF STAY-AT-HOME WINE

ENTHUSIASTS.

AND YET TRUMP KEEPS INSISTING

THAT STATES ARE SENDING

UNSOLICITED MAIL-IN BALLOTS TO

EVERYONE THAT COULD EASILY BE

FILLED OUT FRAUDULENTLY, DESPITE

THE FACT THAT THIS BASICALLY

NEVER HAPPENS AND WOULD BE VERY

EASY TO DETECT

WITH THOSE BALLOTS, ALL OF THOSE

UNSOLICITED BALLOTS, THOSE

MILLIONS OF BALLOTS, YOU SEE

THEM

ANY TIME YOU DO, REPORT THEM TO

THE AUTHORITIES.

THE AUTHORITIES ARE WAITING AND

WATCHING

>> Seth: FIRST OF ALL, THEY'RE

NOT UNSOLICITED, THEY'RE

BALLOTS.

THEY SEND THEM TO REGISTERED

VOTERS

THEY'RE NOT AOL TRIAL CDs.

"YO, AOL, BLESS.

MIND IF I SLIP A 'POPOZAO' IN

THERE?

I'M HAVING SOME DISTRIBUTION

ISSUES."

WE THOUGHT IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT

TO DO A LOT OF COMEDY TODAY

ABOUT 2006's "POPOZAO.

WHICH IS -- I LOOKED IT -- IT'S

A LYRIC.

IN PORTUGUESE, IT MEANS "BRING

YOUR ASS ON THE FLOOR AND MOVE

IT REAL FAST."

GUY WAS TRYING TO DO LIKE A NICE

ROSETTA STONE TO MUSIC, AND HERE

I AM GIVING HIM A HARD TIME.

I'M ASSUMING THAT IT MEANT THE

DANCE FLOOR, AND NOT THE SENATE

FLOOR.

"WE OUGHTA -- AS SOON AS WE GET

THE NOMINEE FROM DONALD TRUMP,

WE GOTTA POPOZAO."

"I WOULD LOVE TO --"

[ LAUGHTER ]

SECOND, DONALD TRUMP -- THAT'S

WHO WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

"WE OUGHTA POPOZAO, POST HASTE."

PLEASE, DON'T TELL YOUR

SUPPORTERS TO REPORT ANYTHING TO

THE AUTHORITIES.

THE LAST THING WE NEED IS CRAZED

TRUMP SUPPORTERS SIFTING THROUGH

OUR MAIL LOOKING FOR FRAUDULENT

BALLOTS.

"THIS HAS FOREIGN WRITING ON IT.

THIS IS A FRAUDULENT BALLOT.

"SIR, THAT IS AN ITALIAN

TAKE-OUT MENU.

"YEAH, BUT WHO THEY ARE TAKING

OUT?

ANSWER ME THAT."

AND NOW, TRUMP IS TELEGRAPHING

THAT IF HE GETS HIS WAY AND

INSTALLS A NEW SUPREME COURT

JUSTICE BEFORE THE ELECTION, THE

CONSERVATIVE SIX-THREE SUPER

MAJORITY WILL INVALIDATE ALL

THOSE BALLOTS AND DECLARE HIM

THE WINNER, EVEN IF HE LOSES

SITUATION IS NOT A GOOD

SITUATION.

NOW, WE'RE COUNTING ON THE

FEDERAL COURT SYSTEM TO MAKE IT

SO THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY HAVE AN

EVENING WHERE WE KNOW WHO WINS,

OKAY

NOT WHERE THE VOTES ARE GOING TO

BE COUNTED A WEEK LATER OR TWO

WEEKS LATER.

WE NEED NINE JUSTICES.

YOU NEED THAT, WITH THE

UNSOLICITED MILLIONS OF BALLOTS

THAT THEY'RE SENDING, IT'S A

SCAM, IT'S A HOAX, EVERYBODY

KNOWS THAT

AND THE DEMOCRATS KNOW IT BETTER

THAN ANYBODY ELSE.

SO, YOU ARE GOING NEED NINE

JUSTICES UP THERE.

I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE VERY

IMPORTANT.

BECAUSE WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS

TRYING TO SOW CONFUSION IN

EVERYTHING ELSE.

BECAUSE PAPER BALLOTS ARE VERY

SIMPLE, WHETHER THEY COUNTERFEIT

THEM, FORGE THEM, DO WHATEVER

YOU WANT

>> Seth: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT?

WHAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING MAKES NO

SENSE.

HOW WOULD IT EVEN WORK

THEY SEND ONE BALLOT PER VOTER

AND MOST STATES USE BARCODES TO

TRACK BALLOTS.

THEY'RE ELECTION BALLOTS NOT

PAGES FROM THE BURN BOOK

♪

>> Seth: WHO'S DOING THE

SUPPOSED

FORGING OF THESE PAPER BALLOTS

YOU THINK SO-CALLED ANARCHISTS

ARE GOING DOOR TO DOOR

COLLECTING BALLOTS SO THEY CAN

WRITE IN THE NAME OF THEIR

FAVORITE CANDIDATE, JOE BIDEN?

BECAUSE ANARCHISTS NOTORIOUSLY

LOVE THE 77-YEAR-OLD CENTRIST

FROM DELAWARE.

BIDEN LOVES TRAINS, THAT'S HOW

YOU KNOW HE IS NOT ANARCHIST

TRAINS ARE THE OPPOSITE OF

ANARCHY.

THEY ARE LITERALLY ON THE RAILS.

TRY HOPPING ON THE ACELA EXPRESS

FROM D.C. TO BOSTON AND TAKING A

CALL ON THE QUIET CAR.

TEN IVY LEAGUE JDs WILL DESCEND

ON YOU IN A FURY AND STUFF YOU

IN THE OVERHEAD RACK

SECOND, DEMOCRATS -- DEMOCRATS

ARE SOWING CONFUSION

YOU SOW CONFUSION JUST BY

OPENING YOUR MOUTH

NO ONE CAN EVEN FOLLOW WHAT

YOU'RE SAYING.

HERE'S A COLLECTION OF REAL

THINGS DONALD TRUMP HAS SAID

RECENTLY THAT I GUESS ARE

SUPPOSED TO BE HUMAN ENGLISH

>> FIRST LADY, HOW'D YOU LIKE

THE

CROWD?

SIR, I DIDN'T SEE IT

TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS, DESTROY

YOUR SECOND AMENDMENT, NO

RELIGION, NO ANYTHING.

HURT THE BIBLE, HURT GOD

THAT WAS CALLED ACTION

NOT WITH THE MOUTH, BUT IN

ACTUAL FACT.

THEY GO OUT AND BUY TUNA FISH

AND SOUP

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT

TUNA FISH, THEY CAN REALLY RIP

IT, RIGHT?

AND THAT HITS YOU.

NO, IT'S TRUE.

BUMBLEBEE BRAND TUNA, AND YOU

CAN THROW THAT SOCCER, YOU COULD

PUT A CURVE ON IT, YOU CAN DO

WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT

>> Seth: JESUS

IT'S LIKE THE END OF "2001: A

SPACE ODYSSEY" WHEN THEY

DISCONNECT HAL

"TUNA FISH

NOT WITH THE MOUTH, FIRST LADY,

SIR, SIR, SIR, WHY DO YOU HURT

GOD?

TUNA FISH.

YOU CAN REALLY RIP IT.

GOD, TUNA GOD.

GOD, HURT THE TUNA

TUNA, TUNA

GOD.

POPOZAO.

THAT'S IT.

HAT TRICK.

SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN

A C.A.T. SCAN.

IF ONLY WE COULD LOOK INSIDE HIS

HEAD I'M PRETTY SURE WE'D SEE

HIS BRAIN IS MOSTLY --

>> TUNA FISH AND SOUP.

>> Seth: AND THE PEOPLE AROUND

TRUMP, THE LEADERS OF THE

INSTITUTIONAL REPUBLICAN PARTY

HAVE ALSO BEEN EXPLICIT ABOUT

THEIR GOAL TO HAVE A

CONSERVATIVE SUPREME COURT

SUPERMAJORITY IN PLACE TO DECIDE

A SO-CALLED CONTESTED ELECTION,

WHICH AGAIN, IS ONLY A

CONSIDERATION RIGHT KNOW BECAUSE

THEY ARE THE ONES FALSELY

CLAIMING THERE WILL BE RAMPANT

MAIL BALLOT FRAUD.

>> I THINK IT IS CRITICAL THAT

THE SENATE TAKES UP AND CONFIRMS

THAT SUCCESSOR BEFORE ELECTION

DAY.

WE CANNOT HAVE ELECTION DAY COME

AND GO WITH A FOUR-FOUR COURT.

A FOUR-FOUR COURT THAT IS

EQUALLY DIVIDED CANNOT DECIDE

ANYTHING

AND I THINK WE RISK A

CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS IF WE DO

NOT HAVE A NINE JUSTICE SUPREME

COURT, PARTICULARLY WHEN THERE

IS SUCH A RISK OF A CONTESTED

LITIGATION AND A CONTESTED

ELECTION

>> Seth: YOU ARE THE ONES

THREATENING TO CONTEST THE

ELECTION

TED CRUZ IS LIKE AN ARSONIST

SAYING, "WE NEED TO HIRE MORE

FIREFIGHTERS AS I HAVE NO

INTENTION TO STOP SETTING OFF

BOTTLE ROCKETS IN THE WOODS.

ALSO, YOU'RE SUDDENLY CONCERNED

ABOUT A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS

NOW?

WE HAVE HAD FOUR YEARS OF

CONSTANT CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS

WITH A PRESIDENT WHO OBSTRUCTS

JUSTICE, PROFITS FROM HIS

OFFICE, ASKS FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS

TO HELP HIM CHEAT IN THE

ELECTION AND UNILATERALLY

DECLARES A STATE OF EMERGENCY TO

BUILD A DUMBASS WALL ON THE

SOUTHERN BORDER WITHOUT

CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL

JUST LAST NIGHT HE THREATENED

VIOLENCE IF HE LOSES AND YOU

WERE SILENT.

SENATE REPUBLICANS WORK LESS

THAN THAT RICH FRIEND WHO IS

ALWAYS POSTING PICS ON INSTAGRAM

FROM EXOTIC LOCATIONS.

"HANG GLIDING IN ANGKOR WAT.

#SOBLESSED."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE MONEY AGAIN?"

"I STARTED A STREAMING SERVICE

FOR SKATEBOARD FAILS."

THESE GUYS ARE THREATENING A

TOTALLY MADE UP CRISIS THEN

SAYING WE NEED A CONSERVATIVE

SUPERMAJORITY ON THE SUPREME

COURT TO RESOLVE THAT MADE UP

CRISIS

LIKE, VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE

WHO BASICALLY SAID THAT WE NEED

TO RUSH TO CONFIRM A SUPREME

COURT NOMINEE TO THROW OUT ALL

THOSE PESKY BALLOTS FROM VOTERS

WHO DON'T LIKE TRUMP

>> WITH ALL OF THE TALK ABOUT

UNIVERSAL, UNSOLICITED MAIL-IN

BALLOTING, WHERE WE SEE STATES

AROUND THE COUNTRY THAT ARE NOW

EXTENDING THE DEADLINE, THERE IS

A POSSIBILITY THAT ELECTION

ISSUES MAY COME BEFORE THE

SUPREME COURT IN THE DAYS

FOLLOWING THE ELECTION

AND ALL THE MORE REASON WHY WE

SHOULD HAVE NINE JUSTICES ON THE

SUPREME COURT TO BE ABLE TO

RESOLVE ANY ISSUES THAT MAY

ARISE THEN OR ON ANY OTHER

MATTER

>> Seth: THEY'RE JUST COMING OUT

AND SAYING IT.

THEIR PLAN IS TO STEAL THE

ELECTION THROUGH ANOTHER

BUSH V. GORE, AND MIKE PENCE'S

TALENT IS THAT HE CAN MAKE A

PLAN TO STEAL AN ELECTION SOUND

LIKE AN INSTRUCTIONAL DVD FOR

YOUR NEW DISHWASHER.

"FIRST YOU NEED TO ENSURE THAT

YOUR WATER SOURCE IS TURNED ALL

THE WAY TO THE 'OFF' POSITION.

THEY'RE NOT HIDING IT BECAUSE WE

ALL KNOW WHAT THE GAME IS.

IT'S LIKE IF M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN

RELEASED A MOVIE TITLED "TWIST

ENDING."

"OH, I SEE, SO RUDY WAS ACTUALLY

DEAD THE WHOLE TIME?

IN FACT, REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN

SO OPEN ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY

ARE RUSHING TO LOCK IN A

RIGHTWING SUPERMAJORITY ON THE

COURT BEFORE THE ELECTION,

THEY'RE EVEN CLAIMING THEY

ALREADY HAVE THE VOTES TO

CONFIRM A NOMINEE WITHOUT EVEN

KNOWING WHO THAT NOMINEE IS.

>> WE'VE GOT THE VOTES TO

CONFIRM

JUSTICE GINSBURG'S REPLACEMENT

BEFORE THE ELECTION.

WE ARE GOING MOVE FORWARD IN THE

COMMITTEE.

WE ARE GOING TO REPORT THE

NOMINATION OUT OF THE COMMITTEE

TO THE FLOOR OF THE UNITES

STATES SENATE, SO WE CAN VOTE

BEFORE THE ELECTION.

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A PROCESS

THAT YOU WILL BE PROUD OF.

THE NOMINEE IS GOING TO BE

SUPPORTED BY EVERY REPUBLICAN IN

THE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.

AND WE HAVE GOT THE VOTES TO

CONFIRM THE JUDGE -- THE JUSTICE

ON THE FLOOR OF THE SENATE

BEFORE THE ELECTION AND THAT'S

WHAT'S COMING.

>> Seth: ARE YOU TRYING CONVINCE

US OR HYPNOTIZE US

"YOU'RE GETTING VERY SLEEPY

MISTER

GO AHEAD AND CLOSE THEM.

HOW CAN YOU ALREADY HAVE THE

VOTES?

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A NOMINEE.

IN FACT, I'M PRETTY SURE TRUMP'S

GOING TO FIND OUT WHO HIS

NOMINEE IS AT THE SAME TIME YOU

GUYS ARE

MITCH McCONNELL AND THE

FEDERALIST SOCIETY ARE GOING

PICK A NAME OFF A LIST AND THEN

TRUMP IS GOING TO FIND OUT WHEN

HE SHOWS UP TO THE PRESS

CONFERENCE LIKE AN EPISODE OF

"LOVE IS BLIND."

AND IN THAT CASE, SURE, I MEAN,

I HOPE HE NOMINATES JESSICA,

JUST BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE

HER CONFIRMATION HEARINGS.

"THIS WHOLE THING IS A LOT RIGHT

NOW.

AND I DO WANT TO BE A SUPREME

COURT JUSTICE BUT I'M ALSO

OVERWHELMED BY ALL OF THESE

QUESTIONS.

AH, "LOVE IS BLIND."

YOU'LL ALWAYS BEEN MY FIRST

QUARANTINE SHOW.

IT'S NOT REALLY THAT CRAZY

THOUGH

FOR ALL YOU KNOW, TRUMP COULD

NOMINATE ONE OF HIS BUDDIES LIKE

THE DEMON SPERM DOCTOR, THE MY

PILLOW GUY

"HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT CASES, HE

MAKES SOME OF THE BEST

PILLOWCASES IN THE WORLD

I WANT TO THANK MY FRIEND

SAL GENTILE, WHO WROTE ME THAT

JOKE

YOU KNOW, HE USUALLY HE COMES AT

ME PRETTY HARD, BUT EVERY NOW

AND THEN, HE WRITES ME A --

WRITES ME A ZINGER

THANK YOU, SAL

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO VOTE

FOR ME, SAL.

IN FACT, ON MONDAY, TRUMP CALLED

IN FOR HIS WEEKLY TELETHERAPY

SESSION WITH THE FOX AND FRIENDS

AND THEY JOKED THAT HE WOULD PUT

ONE OF THEM ON THE COURT

>> WELL, I KNOW YOU SAID THAT

YOU'RE GOING TO NOMINATE A

WOMAN.

THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO WOMEN

WHO ARE VOTING IN NOVEMBER FOR

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

YOU SAID YOU -

>> HOW ABOUT YOU, AINSLEY?

I COULD NOMINATE YOU, YOU KNOW

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE -

>> I DID NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A

LAWYER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A

JUDGE.

I COULD NOMINATE YOU

I THINK YOU'D SAIL THROUGH

>> DO YOU WANT TO MAKE SOME NEWS

RIGHT -- GO AHEAD, MAKE NEWS

RIGHT NOW, MR. PRESIDENT

WHO'S IT GOING TO BE

>> SHE WOULD SAIL THROUGH LIKE

NOTHING.

THAT WOULD BE PROBABLY A GOOD

IDEA

THAT WAY AT LEAST WE KNOW FOR

SURE, SHE'LL BE APPROVED

>> Seth: UGH

SOUNDS LIKE A CREEP AT THE YACHT

CLUB HITTING ON A WOMAN IN FRONT

OF HER HUSBAND

BUT SURE, WHY NOT?

"FOX AND FRIENDS" IS ALREADY THE

PRESIDENT.

WHY NOT MAKE THEM THE SUPREME

COURT, TOO

HELL, JUST NOMINATE A TV THAT

PLAYS FOX NEWS 24/7.

ALSO, IT DOESN'T EXACTLY INSPIRE

CONFIDENCE WHEN THE PRESIDENT

SAYS, IN ORDER TO BE A SUPREME

COURT JUSTICE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

BE A LAWYER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

BE A JUDGE

"IN FACT, THIS IS -- YOU DON'T

HAVE TO BE 18, WHICH IS WHY I'M

STRONGLY CONSIDERING YOUNG

SHELDON.

THIS IS -- WE HAVE A LOT OF

SHELDONS TO CHOOSE FROM, WHICH

IS WHY IT'S A GREAT COUNTRY.

MULTIPLE -- MULTIPLE SHELDONS.

THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN ELECTED

DEMOCRATS NEED TO DO EVERYTHING

POSSIBLE TO PRESERVE OUR

DEMOCRACY -- HOLD HEARINGS, SLOW

DOWN SENATE BUSINESS, POUR SALT

ON TED CRUZ, WHATEVER YOU HAVE

TO DO TO GET REPUBLICANS TO

COMMIT TO HONOR THE RESULTS OF

THE ELECTION

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, THEY'RE

OPENLY ADVERTISING THEIR PLAN TO

STEAL IT, WHILE THE PRESIDENT

REFUSES TO COMMIT TO A PEACEFUL

TRANSFER OF POWER.

THERE'S AS MUCH CHANCE OF TRUMP

ADMITTING HE LOST ON ELECTION

NIGHT AS THERE IS OF HIM

SAYING -

♪

♪ POPOZAO ♪

>> Seth: I FULLY DIDN'T KNOW

THAT WAS COMING.

THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER LOOK."

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

♪

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

"LATE NIGHT.

♪

>> Announcer: BE SURE TO WATCH

SETH IN PRIME TIME, FOR HIS

"CLOSER LOOK" SPECIAL ON

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8TH AT

8:30/7:30 PM CENTRAL, RIGHT HERE

ON NBC

>> Seth: THE PANDEMIC HAS CAUSED

MANY PEOPLE TO STAY HOME AND

GAIN WEIGHT.

HERE TO HELP YOU GET COVID FIT

IS OUR FITNESS EXPERT,

JEFF WRIGHT.

>> TODAY WE ARE GOING TO SHED

THOSE COVID POUNDS

WE ARE GOING TO KEEP YOU LEAN

AND MEAN THROUGH THIS

QUARANTINE

NOW, FOLLOW ME IF YOU'RE HAVING

A NORMAL DAY

BUT IF YOU'VE SEEN THE NEWS AND

ARE FEELING DEPRESSED, FOLLOW

JEFF TWO

>> OR DON'T, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

>> HE'S JUST PLAYING, Y'ALL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

>> HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS?

WE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAYS

>> HAHA, HE'S JUST KIDDING

WE ARE NOT GONNA DIE IF WE STAY

ACTIVE AND FIT

GET IT TOGETHER, OKAY?

DO THIS FOR ME, AND I'LL GET YOU

THE NEW PLAYSTATION.

>> FINE.

>> OKAY, SO FOLLOW JEFF TWO IF

YOU'RE FEELING A LITTLE

DEPRESSED.

AND FOR THOSE HAVING A MANIC

EPISODE FOR A MOMENT, AND ARE

USING THIS WORKOUT TO KEEP YOUR

MIND OFF OF HOW HORRIBLE LIFE IS

RIGHT NOW, FOLLOW JEFF THREE

>> YEAH!

FOLLOW ME!

>> HEY, YOU -- YOU OKAY?

>> IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, WE'RE

LUCKY TO HAVE THIS FREE TIME

I LOVE QUARANTINE!

EVERYTHING IS GREAT!

>> ALL RIGHT

WE GONNA START WITH SOME LUNGES.

>> AGGHH

GO ALL THE WAY DOWN UNTIL YOUR

CROTCH TOUCHES THE FLOOR

>> WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T DO THAT.

THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

>> TO DO A PROPER LUNGE, JUST

TAKE A STEP, BEND YOUR KNEE AND

JUST LEAN.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> AND LET THE WEIGHT OF THE

WORLD WEIGH YOU DOWN

>> WAIT, WHAT?

>> JUST STAY THERE, 'CAUSE

NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

>> THAT'S WRONG.

ALTERNATE.

THREE MORE TO GO

>> THE LOWER YOU GO, THE LESS

YOU BLEED!

>> EXACT -- WAIT, NO

IF YOU'RE BLEEDING, STOP

IMMEDIATELY.

>> NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

>> WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

>> I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE

CRYING

I'M SWEATING FROM MY EYES.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT

WE GOING TO DO A KICK PUNCH

COMBO, OKAY?

KICK, PUNCH.

>> KICK AWAY THE LONELINESS AND

SELF DOUBT

THIS QUARANTINE ISN'T GOING TO

BE THE REASON YOU END UP ALONE

IN YOUR RAGGEDY APARTMENT,

WASTING YOUR GOOD YEARS.

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?

>> WHATEVER HELPS YOU KICK AND

PUNCH.

JUST KEEP KICKING AND PUNCHING

>> OW, OW, OW, OW.

OW

OW, OW

>> FIGHT BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

>> WHAT'S THE POINT?

I DESERVE THIS

>> LET'S JUST WORK ON OUR

BREATHING.

HOW ABOUT THAT

Y'ALL CAN'T POSSIBLY MESS THAT

UP

BREATHE, MAN, BREATHE.

THAT'S LITERALLY ALL YOU HAVE TO

DO

[ HEAVY BREATHING

STOP THAT, JEFF THREE.

>> WOW

YOU WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT

THIS WAS A MISTAKE, Y'ALL CAN

CUT THE CAMERAS OFF.

>> WAIT, WAIT, NO, NO!

DON'T CUT THE CAMERA OFF

THIS IS ALL I HAVE

MY JOB IS GONE

THE PRESIDENT'S THE PRESIDENT.

>> WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

>> OH, I HAVE A SMALL CHEMICAL

IMBALANCE.

>> AND YOU JUST GOING TO KEEP

HOLDING YOUR BREATH?

YOU JUST NOT GOING TO BREATHE?

>> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

WITH ALICIA VIKANDER

♪

>> Seth: WE'RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE

FRED ARMISEN BACK LEADING THE

8G BAND FROM HOME ALL WEEK

HE CAN'T HEAR ME, BUT I'M GOING

TO SAY, "THANK YOU FRED, AND I

MISS YOU," AND THEN HE WILL WAVE

BACK

THERE IT IS.

OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN

ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS

YOU KNOW FROM FILMS SUCH AS "THE

DANISH GIRL," "TOMB RAIDER" AND

"EX MACHINA.

SHE STARS NEXT IN "THE GLORIAS,"

WHICH WILL BE RELEASED ON

SEPTEMBER 30th ON AMAZON PRIME

VIDEO AND DIGITAL.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

>> THIS YEAR, THE PRESS HAS

FINALLY DISCOVERED A MOVEMENT

THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN STRONG FOR

SEVERAL YEARS NOW, AND REPORTED

IT AS A SMALL, PRIVILEGED,

RATHER LUNATIC EVENT, INSTEAD OF

A MAJOR EVOLUTION IN

CONSCIOUSNESS.

>> EVERYONE'S CONSCIOUSNESS,

MALE AND FEMALE, BLACK AND

WHITE.

THIS IS THE YEAR OF WOMEN'S

LIBERATION

♪

>> Seth: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO

THE SHOW ALICIA VIKANDER

HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M GOOD.

THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

>> Seth: IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE

YOU AGAIN.

VERY GOOD GLORIA STEINEM VOICE

I HAVE TO GIVE YOU FULL CREDIT

THERE.

THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE

>> YEAH, I HAD TO --

I MEAN, I DO HAVE A LOW VOICE,

BUT I HAD TO GO EVEN LOWER

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH

>> Seth: YOU'RE -- THIS IS A

WONDERFUL FILM WHERE DIFFERENT

ACTORS PLAY GLORIA STEINEM OVER

THE COURSE OF HER LIFE, BASED ON

A BOOK SHE WROTE ABOUT HER LIFE.

AND YOU AND JULIANNE MOORE

ACTUALLY GOT TO MEET HER

I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE HER

ON THIS SHOW

I MEAN, SHE IS A TITAN, AND IT'S

VERY -

I WAS NERVOUS TALKING TO HER

WERE YOU EVEN MORE NERVOUS

KNOWING THAT YOU THEN HAD TO

TAKE ON THE TASK OF PLAYING HER?

>> YEAH, I WAS

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE -

I HAD THIS QUESTION ASKED TO ME

JUST EARLIER TODAY -- "OH, HOW

WAS IT MEETING HER THE FIRST

TIME?"

AND I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED, I DID

ACTUALLY MEET HER FOR LUNCH

FIRST BEFORE WE MET FOR

REHEARSALS

BUT I THINK I HAD ALMOST HAD

THAT AS A BLANK BECAUSE I WAS

PROBABLY SO NERVOUS, I WAS JUST

SO KIND OF --YOU KNOW, FELT SO

PRIVILEGED AND HONORED TO JUST

BE ABLE TO MEET HER.

AND OF COURSE, I MANAGED TO BE A

BIT MORE CALM WHEN SHE SAW ME,

JULIANNE, AND JULIE, OUR

DIRECTOR, FOR REHEARSALS, WHICH

SHE WAS SO GENEROUS TO TELL ME

THAT SHE COULD BE PART OF.

AND I THINK IT WAS, YEAH, QUITE

A FEW TIMES WHEN JULIANNE AND I

JUST LOOKED AT ONE ANOTHER,

COULDN'T REALLY BELIEVE WHAT WAS

HAPPENING.

BUT GLORIA, SHE WAS -- SHE'S SO

INCREDIBLY GENEROUS AND SHE KIND

OF PUSHED US AND SAID, "YOU

KNOW, PLEASE, JUST ASK ME

ANYTHING."

AND IN THE END, WE ACTUALLY -- I

WAS A BIT EMBARRASSED TO ASK,

BUT SHE ACTUALLY READ SOME OF

THE SCENES FROM THE SCRIPT

HERSELF, AS HERSELF, WHICH WAS

PRETTY MIND BLOWING.

I EVEN -

I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME VIDEOS

STILL ON MY iPHONE, WHICH IS A

BIT OF A TREASURE.

>> Seth: THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE

ADVANTAGE YOU GOT.

WHEN I USED TO HAVE TO DO

IMPRESSIONS ON "SATURDAY NIGHT

LIVE," I'D HAVE TO RECORD IT OFF

THE TV TO ACTUALLY GET THE

PERSON TO DO IT FOR YOU.

>> YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS ONE OF

THOSE THINGS

I WAS LIKE, "IS IT OKAY?

CAN I FILM YOU DO THIS?"

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, OF

COURSE."

AND YOU KNOW, WE ENDED UP

GETTING LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,

20 VIDEOS.

AND I THINK, IN THE END, I THINK

SHE KIND OF ENJOYED IT, BUT IT

WAS --

WE EACH KIND OF STARTED THE

SCENES AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE --

STOPPED HALFWAY.

AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE, "WELL,

ACTUALLY WHAT HAPPENED AT THAT

EVENT," OR "ACTUALLY WHAT I DID

SAY," OR THAT PERSON SAID, AND

THEN IT WOULD ALWAYS TURN OUT TO

A MUCH LONGER, EXCITING STORY.

>> Seth: THAT IS FANTASTIC

YOU KNOW, I THINK THE

INTERESTING THING ABOUT GLORIA'S

LIFE IS SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN TIMELY

AND YET IT SEEMS MORE TIMELY

THAN EVER TO BE MAKING THIS

MOVIE NOW.

YOU GUYS MUST HAVE BEEN AWARE OF

THAT WHILE YOU WERE MAKING IT.

>> OF COURSE

I MEAN, A LOT OF THE DISCUSSIONS

THAT WE HAD WHILST FILMING WAS

HOW EXCITED WE WERE, YOU KNOW,

FOR THE RELEASE OF THE FILM AND,

OF COURSE, THE TOPICS THAT IT

BRINGS UP.

AND THE FACT THAT GLORIA, YOU

KNOW, FROM THE BEGINNING HAS

BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE AND WANTED TO

BE PART OF US RELEASING THIS

FILM

AND WE HAD BIG PLANS, SO YOU

KNOW, HOPING TO BE ON TOUR NOW,

AND BE ON A BUS AND INVOLVE, YOU

KNOW, A LOT OF OTHER WOMEN, DO A

LOT OF TALKING CIRCLES, WHICH IS

SOMETHING THAT GLORIA DOES A LOT

OF

NOW, OF COURSE, THE WORLD LOOKS

VERY DIFFERENT

BUT IT WAS A VERY BEAUTIFUL KIND

OF COMMUNAL FEEL THAT WE GOT A

FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN WE -- I THINK

WE WERE, LIKE, 16 WOMEN ON A

ZOOM CALL.

GLORIA WAS ONE OF THEM

WE KIND OF PASSED AROUND, YOU

KNOW, THE QUESTIONS OF "WHAT CAN

YOU DO," AND EVERYONE HAD THEIR

OWN IDEAS OF HOW, HOW WE CAN

KIND OF GET THE MESSAGE OUT.

SO -

>> Seth: IT'S -- YOU TALK ABOUT

HOW HARD IT IS TO HAVE THE

COMMUNAL MOMENTS, BUT I HAVE

HEARD THAT ONE SOLUTION YOU HAVE

TO THE DINNER PARTY THAT WE CAN

NO LONGER HAVE, IS TO ORDER THE

SAME TAKE-OUT AS THE PEOPLE THAT

YOU ZOOM WITH.

>> YEAH!

>> Seth: THIS IS A VERY, VERY

NOVEL IDEA

>> IT STARTED AS SOMETHING I

DID -- YOU KNOW, LIKE, A SNEAKY

THING I CAN -- YOU KNOW, TO A

FRIEND, I CAN KIND OF SENT A

TEXT AND LIKE --

IT HAPPENED ONCE WHEN MY FRIEND

WAS STATESIDE, SO IT WAS LIKE A

SUNDAY

SO IT ENDED UP BEING A DINNER

FOR ME AND A BRUNCH FOR MY

FRIEND

AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, THIS IS

AN ADDRESS, YOU NEED TO BE THERE

IN HALF AN HOUR.

AND THEN, I HAD JUST CALLED LIKE

ANOTHER, I THINK IT WAS MEXICAN

RESTAURANT

AND THE GOOD THING IS, LIKE,

MEXICAN FOOD, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN

KIND OF DECIDE TO ORDER THE SAME

THING WHEREVER YOU ARE

SO THEN WE ENDED UP HAVING THE

EXACT SAME, YOU KNOW, ORDER, AND

I THINK WE EVEN HAD THE SAME

BOTTLE OF WINE

AND THEN, YOU KNOW, THAT'S A

GREAT WAY OF REALLY FORGETTING

ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE IN

FRONT OF A SCREEN.

THE TOUGH THING IS, THOUGH,

BECAUSE IF YOU'VE HAD A FEW

GLASSES OF WINE, SUDDENLY YOU

HAVE THIS AMAZING SOCIAL EVENT,

SUDDENLY YOU JUST LIKE -- ON,

YOU KNOW, GO OFFLINE AND THEN

YOU FEEL REALLY LONELY

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING'S GONE.

>> Seth: RIGHT, AND THEN NOBODY

BELIEVES YOU WHEN YOU SAY,

"LOOK, I WAS AT DINNER WITH A

FRIEND."

THEY'RE LIKE, "WERE YOU?

YOU -- I WANT TO CONGRATULATE

YOU, AS WELL, CAUSE YOU GOT THIS

IN RIGHT UNDER THE WIRE.

YOU GOT YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE IN

THE UK

>> I DID

I MEAN, LITERALLY A FEW DAYS

BEFORE LOCKDOWN.

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN -- IT'S BEEN

WAY TOO -- TOO LONG.

I PROMISED MYSELF I WAS GOING TO

DO IT BEFORE 30, BUT THAT DIDN'T

HAPPEN

BUT NOW I HAVE IT AND YOU KNOW,

I WAS BORN IN SWEDEN, WHICH

DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE, SO FOR

ME TO HAVE PASSED THE TEST IN

THE UK, IN LONDON, TOO, WITH ALL

THE BLACK CABS, AND EVERYTHING

AND ON THE LEFT SIDE

I FEEL LIKE I'M HOPEFULLY NOT A

HUGE DANGER WHEN I GO OUT THERE

IN THE TRAFFIC

>> Seth: I THINK THE GOOD NEWS

IS, NO MATTER HOW BAD A DRIVER

YOU ARE, THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER

HUGE DANGERS RIGHT NOW THAT

YOU'RE SO -- YOU'RE COMFORTABLY

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST.

>> PEOPLE WILL FORGET IF I JUST

RUN OVER THEM.

>> Seth: YEAH, IF YOU SIDESWIPE

SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW, THAT'S THE

LEAST OF THEIR PROBLEMS.

AND IT'S REALLY GOOD NOW I

THINK, MORE THAN EVER, A GOOD

TIME TO BE ABLE TO GET IN A CAR

AND DRIVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

SO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR

LICENSE.

>> THANK YOU

>> Seth: CONGRATULATIONS AS WELL

ON THE FILM.

IT'S ALWAYS SO NICE TO SEE YOU

>> SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> Seth: OF COURSE

"THE GLORIAS" WILL BE AVAILABLE

ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO AND

DIGITAL NEXT WEDNESDAY

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

MAYA ERSKINE AND ANNA KONKLE

♪

>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUESTS ARE THE

EMMY-NOMINATED CREATORS,

WRITERS, AND STARS OF THE

FANTASTIC HULU SERIES "PEN15."

THE SECOND SEASON IS STREAMING

NOW.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

>> TO YOUR LEFT.

YOUR LEFT.

THE OTHER LEFT

>> ANNA, LET ME FINISH THE LINE.

>> HOLD.

>> GO ON 32.

>> HOLD!

HOLD I SAID.

HOLD

HOLD

HOLD

>> WE'RE JUST GETTING UP

>> HOLD.

WALK IT THROUGH SLOWLY SO WE CAN

GET THE MARK

[ SPEAKING IN SLOW MOTION

>> SLOWER PHYSICAL

FASTER VOCAL

>> I SAW YOU BACKING AWAY FROM

SHEILA

SHEILA WAS THE -

>> Seth: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO

THE MAYA ERSKINE AND

ANNA KONKLE.

SO NICE TO SEE YOU BOTH.

>> THANKS FOR HAVING US.

>> Seth: FOR ANYONE SILLY ENOUGH

NOT TO WATCH THIS SHOW, IT'S

SUCH A WONDERFUL CONCEIT

YOU GUYS ARE NOT CURRENTLY 13,

BUT YOU ARE PLAYING 13-YEAR-OLDS

IN THE YEAR 2000, AND THE LAST

TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE TALKED

ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE OTHER

ACTORS ARE PLAYING THEIR ACTUAL

AGES, AND IT'S VERY INTIMIDATING

TO BE AROUND TEENAGERS

IS IT A LITTLE EASIER IN YEAR

TWO?

>> YEAH, I FEEL LIKE IT'S EASIER

NOW, JUST BECAUSE WE'VE

PROVED -- WE'VE PROVEN TO THEM

THAT WE ARE ADULTS

BECAUSE I THINK WHEN I FIRST MET

ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS, I WAS IN

THE BOWL CUT AND THE MUSTACHE

AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WHO IS THIS

FREAK?

AND THEN, I -- AND ANNA GOT TO

MEET THEM IN LIKE HIGH-WAISTED

JEANS AND SHE LOOKED HOT AND SO

THEY IMMEDIATELY ACCEPTED HER.

>> THANK YOU

>> NO, YOU DID

THEY FOR SO LONG DIDN'T

UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS.

LIKE WHAT IS THIS IN FRONT OF

ME

BUT NOW THAT THEY HAVE SEEN THE

SHOW OUT, I THINK THEY'VE

ACCEPTED US A LITTLE MORE.

RIGHT?

>> THEY KNOW YOU'RE NOT A KID.

AND IN FACT, MAYA HAS -- I WAS

GONE FOR A WEEK OF SHOOTING, AND

I CAME BACK, AND I HAD BEEN

FULLY REPLACED BY GABE, WHO IS

14, AND THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS

THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS.

HE HAD AGED UP, YOU HAD AGED

DOWN

YOU BOTH WERE ABOUT, I DON'T

KNOW, 15

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> 16.

>> Seth: SO HE DIDN'T AGE THAT

MUCH UP.

>> YEAH.

AND I -- I CAME BACK TO GABE

DUMPING A -- DILLON DUMPING A

BUNCH OF PEPPER ON THE TABLE

BETWEEN SCENES AND JUST BEING

LIKE, PLAYING A GAME, JUMPING

IN, GOING, "GUESS THE PEPPER

WHAT PEPPER AM I THINKING OF?"

AND MAYA WAS LIKE, "THIS IS

STUPID."

AND THEN YOU'D PICK THE RIGHT

ONE ON THE, I DON'T KNOW, THIRD

TRY.

>> YOU PICKED THE PEPPER GRAIN,

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A STUPID

GAME, AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "NO,

WE'RE ACTUALLY BOTH REALLY

ENTERTAINED BY THIS.

AND THAT'S -

>> Seth: THAT IS A -- LOOK, IT'S

NICE TO FIND COMPANIONSHIP ON

PRODUCTION SETS.

ONE OF THE MOST FUN THINGS ABOUT

THIS SHOW IS YOU GUYS ARE

PULLING FROM YOUR OWN MIDDLE

SCHOOL EXPERIENCE.

WERE THERE THINGS THAT FOUND

THEIR WAY INTO SEASON TWO THAT

YOU KNEW DURING SEASON ONE THAT

YOU WANTED TO FIND SPACE FOR

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, THERE'S ALWAYS -- THERE

HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THESE KIND OF

ICONIC STORIES IN OUR REAL

UPBRINGING, AND WE ALWAYS PULL

FROM THEM, AND THERE'S -- IT

INFLUENCES TONS IN THE SHOW.

BUT THERE WERE -- THERE WAS AN

INSTANCE FOR ME THAT I KEPT -- I

FEEL LIKE I KEPT AVOIDING FULLY

PUTTING IT IN.

BUT IT -- IT MADE ITS WAY IN

IT WAS JUST A DIFFERENT

CHARACTER.

AND I HAD A WONDERFUL NICKNAME

GROWING UP

IT WAS ICEBOX.

>> Seth: MM-HMM.

>> AND IT STILL MAKES ME FEEL

WEIRD, SADLY, BECAUSE THAT'S

WHAT HAPPENS WITH PTSD

AND IT -- THE RUMOR WAS THAT I

MASTURBATED WITH AN ICE CUBE

>> Seth: SURE.

>> SO IT WAS A GENIUS NICKNAME

THAT SCARRED ME.

AND, I MEAN, I'M TALKING LIKE

AFTER COLLEGE, I'M WAITING

TABLES, AND I'M GETTING A TEXT

FROM A GUY STILL, BEING LIKE,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ICEBOX?

>> Seth: OH!

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> AND I'M LIKE, IF THE SONG

"ICE, ICE, BABY" CAME ON, THEY'D

BE LIKE, "ICEBOX --"

OH, IT'S GOING TO BE COLD!

IT'S GOING TO BE COLD!

AND THEN I WOULD DIE INSIDE.

AND LITERALLY CRY IN FRONT OF

THEM

>> Seth: WELL, OF COURSE YOU

WOULD.

THAT IS -- I'M HAVING PTSD FROM

THAT MOMENT.

AND I JUST WANT TO APPLAUD THE

FACT THAT YOU HAVE EMPOWERED

YOURSELF BY USING IT FOR GOOD IN

THIS INCREDIBLY FUNNY SHOW

>> I AGREE

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH

>> REALLY GREAT.

AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOUR

CHARACTER, WE GAVE IT TO

MARISSA, BUT IT'S STILL --

>> RIGHT

BUT WE GOT BAD NICKNAMES

>> Seth: THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE

CLOSE TO THE BONE.

>> YEAH, EXACTLY

I COULDN'T QUITE DO IT, YEAH

>> Seth: DO -- YOU MENTIONED,

YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT, YOU

KNOW, YOU'RE MAKING A SHOW ABOUT

A TIME IN YOUR LIVES THAT YOU

MIGHT STILL KNOW PEOPLE FROM

DO PEOPLE FROM YOUR HOMETOWNS

REACH OUT OFTEN ABOUT THE SHOW

>> IF I'VE GONE TO ANY PARTIES,

LIKE, WITH THE POPULAR KIDS FROM

THAT TIME, I ALWAYS -- YOU KNOW,

YOU ALWAYS THINK LIKE, "MAN --

WHEN YOU'RE THAT AGE, YOU'RE

LIKE, "I'M GOING COME OUT WITH A

SHOW

I'M GOING BE SUCCESSFUL, AND I'M

GOING TO SHOW 'EM.

YOU KNOW

AND SO, I THINK EVERY TIME -- I

MEAN, I DON'T REALLY THINK THIS,

BUT --

>> YOU DID IT.

>> THE SHOW KIND OF DID WELL,

AND I THOUGHT WHEN I SAW THEM,

IT WOULD BE LIKE, "WOW

I FEEL OKAY.

LIKE I HAVE THIS SHOW UNDER MY

BELT

I'M GOOD."

AND NO

IT DOESN'T EVER CHANGE ANYTHING.

>> Seth: IT'S THE HARDEST -- THE

HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD TO

OUTRUN IS YOUR ANXIETIES ABOUT

HIGH SCHOOL.

THERE'S JUST NO GETTING AWAY

FROM IT.

>> YEAH, IT NEVER GOES AWAY.

>> I RAN INTO SOMEONE FROM

MIDDLE SCHOOL AFTER -- AND I'M

FROM THE EAST COAST, SO -- AND

NOW I'M IN L.A

AND WE RAN IN TO EACH OTHER AND

I HADN'T SEEN HER FROM HIGH

SCHOOL -

SINCE HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, YOU

HAVE A SHOW.

AND I IMMEDIATELY FELT LIKE I

HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG

AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I DON'T

KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT

HAPPENED

IT JUST -- IT HAPPENED

AND LIFE IS WEIRD LIKE THAT.

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I WAS

TALKING TO MY COUSIN," WHO I

ALSO WENT TO SCHOOL WITH, "AND

SHE ASKED ME IF I'M GOING TO

WATCH IT."

I WAS LIKE, "OKAY COOL

YEAH, YEAH, YOU DON'T NEED TO.

YOU DON'T NEED TO.

IT'S --"

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> SO, IT'S LIKE THE SAME THING

ALWAYS

>> Seth: WELL, I SADLY THINK,

YOU MIGHT DO IT FOR LIKE

20 YEARS AND NEVER GET OVER THAT

HUMP

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

BUT I WANT TO STRESS TO

EVERYONE -- YOU GUYS, IT WAS THE

FUNNIEST IDEA WHEN I FIRST HEARD

THE CONCEPT FOR THIS SHOW, BUT

THE EXECUTION IS SO FAR ABOVE

AND BEYOND THE PREMISE

IT IS SUCH A GREAT SHOW.

IT CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND,

AND IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE BOTH OF

YOU AGAIN.

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

>> Seth: OF COURSE

THE SECOND SEASON OF "PEN15" IS

STREAMING ON HULU.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪

>> Announcer: FOR MORE

"LATE NIGHT," GO TO

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AND BE SURE TO CHECK US OUT ON

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HEAD OVER TO iTUNES TO SUBSCRIBE

TO THE "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH

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MORE DOWNLOADED RIGHT TO YOUR

PHONE.

♪

>> Seth: I WANT TO THANK

ALICIA VIKANDER, MAYA ERSKINE

AND ANNA KONKLE.

I WANT TO THANK FRED ARMISEN AND

THE 8G BAND.

STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY --

>> SETH, HURRY UP AND GET OUT OF

HERE SO THAT THAT THEY CAN PUT

UP MY SET FOR "THE AMBER RUFFIN

SHOW," WHICH WE SHOOT RIGHT

HERE, TOMORROW

>> Seth: OKAY, OKAY.

ALMOST DONE.

STAY SAFE.

WASH YOUR HANDS.

WEAR A MASK.

>> DOWNLOAD PEACOCK SO YOU CAN

WATCH "THE AMBER RUFFIN SHOW"

FRIDAY NIGHT

>> Seth: WE LOVE YOU

>> I LOVE YOU MORE THAN HE DOES.

>> Seth: WE LOVE YOU

♪