All language subtitles for S2E20-No Horses Allowed_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Gee, I love to play football.

The crowd is tense.

A field goal will put
our team ahead.

Here goes 3 big points.

Ooh.

Nice block, Wilbur.

Ed, will you stop
fooling around?

This is my office,
not a football field.

My, aren't we grumpy today?

Well, I've got
a perfect right to be.

I just found out
there's some man walking

around the neighborhood
with a petition.

I've got to find some way
of stopping him.

But why?

The right to petition
is our American heritage.

Ed, you don't understand.

This is a republic, Wilbur.

The Declaration of Independence
was a petition.

Ed--

You should support
this fine American.

What's he petitioning for?

Not to have horses
in the neighborhood.

Well, let's kill the bum.

Ed, this is serious.

See, if this fellow Ainsworth

can get 150 signatures
on his petition,

why, they can rezone
the whole area.

And you know what that means?

No more horses.

Uh, well, how about dogs?
Just call me Rover.

[barking]

Ed, stop fooling and go and get
in your stall, will you?

Well, I ain't fooling.

The only chance we got
is to get rid of Ainsworth.

But how? I don't know how.

Well, we're going to have
to figure out something.

Here's the mail, honey.

Hmm? Oh, thanks, dear.

Listen, there's a man
called Ainsworth

going around the neighborhood
with a petition.

- Yes, he was just here.
- He was, huh?

What did you think
of that petition?

Well, it made sense to me,
so I signed it.

Carol, do you know
what that petition was for?

Well, of course.
Mr. Ainsworth said that it was

to improve the neighborhood,
to keep property values up--

To get rid of horses.

Get rid of horses?

Honey, with one stroke
of the pen,

you have turned our horse
into an orphan.

But Mr. Ainsworth didn't
say anything about horses.

But why didn't you read
the thing before you signed it?

Well, it was so long,
and I was on the phone with Kay.

I had something very important
to tell her.

What?

To be sure and sign
the petition.

Because of you...

he will cry himself
to sleep tonight.

Well, I certainly am
for neighborhood improvement.

May I borrow your pen,
Mr. Ainsworth.

Of course.

Thank you.

- Roger.
- Huh?

Don't sign that.

I don't know what this man's
been telling you,

but under all that doubletalk,
this petition is a move

to get rid of all the horses
in the neighborhood.

And about time.

Just a minute, Rog.

Why, if he gets
enough signatures on this,

I've got to get rid of Ed.

May I sign for my wife, too?

Roger, will you use your head?

Why, if they rezone
this neighborhood,

it'll change completely.
There'll be bowling allies,

parking lots,
apartment buildings.

He's right. I'd better
give this some thought.

Mr. Post forgot to mention
that rezoning the area

could double the value
of your property.

Maybe even triple it.

I think I've given it
enough thought.

Roger, let me put it
to you this way--

If Ed goes, I go, too.

And you know
who I sell my house to?

Who?

You mother-in-law.

That's what I like
about you, Wilbur.

You fight as dirty as I do.

Thanks, Rog.

Never mind, Mr. Addison.

I'll have more signatures
than I'll need

after my television appearance
tomorrow.

Mr. Ainsworth,
you're going on television?

Yes, to explain my case
to the people.

Oh, now that
doesn't seem fair.

I mean, the people should hear
the other side of the question.

Hey, he's right.

Maybe you better give
equal time to some horse.

I'd be glad to if you know
of a talking horse.

[all chuckle]

Oh, it just so happens
that I have--

I have a horse who would love
to have me talk for him.

If you wish to challenge me

to a television debate,
Mr. Post, I accept.

Fine.

Oh, Wilbur, don't do it.

Why not?

Well, so far it's only horses.

When you get through talking,

they'll be throwing people
out of the neighborhood.

I'll call the station manager

and make all the arrangements
for our debate.

Shall we meet at WPXQ
at 10:00 sharp?

That will be great.

Splendid.

Mr. Ainsworth,

I think it only fair
to tell you

that I was captain
of the debating team at college.

Good boy.

There's nothing worthwhile
on this page.

Hi, Ed. What are you doing?

Looking for a new home.

Oh, Ed, the fight
isn't over yet.

Tomorrow Ainsworth and I
are going to debate the issue on television.

You on television?

That's right. And I personally

am presenting your side
of argument to the people.

And you know
what a convincing speaker I am.

Uh, yeah.

"Greenview Stables--
every stall with a window."

That is hardly what I would
call a show of confidence.

In four years
of college debating,

I never lost an argument.

And in two years of marriage,
you never won any.

I'll win this one.

I got a whole strategy
planned out.

Let me tell you,
the whole trick of this, Ed,

is to get the audience
on your side.

Well, you'll have
the four-legged crowd pulling for you.

Yes, well, I got a couple
of new techniques, Ed.

I want to try them out on you.
See which one you like the best.

First of all, you got the shy,
folksy approach, you know.

Howdy, folks.

Reckon you know why I'm here.

I reckon you know
what I'm going to say.

I reckon that you'll feel
pretty much the same as I reckon I feel.

How does that sound?

Like a one-man reckon crew.

A little corny, huh?

You'll be getting fan letters
from crows.

Well, of course, I can always
use the humorous approach.

You know, get them laughing.

Hello, friends.

My name is Wilbur Post,

and that is a post
you people can lean on.

Oh, brother.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Friends, my opponent,
Mr. Ainsworth--

Oh, no.

You're not going to wear
that suit on television?

Well, of course.

I'd look pretty silly
debating in my shorts.

Oh, but-- but, honey,
it's too formal.

I'll get
your plaid sport jacket.

Friends, my opponent,
Mr. Ainsworth, has alleged--

[Kay]
Hello, anybody home?

We're up here in the bedroom,
Kay. Come on up.

Now, this will give you
that nice casual air.

Yeah?

Oh, there. That's much better.

And remember to smile, honey.

- Smile.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Hi.

Oh, no.

Wilbur, you're not going
to wear that on television?

Well, what's wrong?

A striped tie
with plaid jacket?

You'll look like
a test pattern.

She's right.
I'll get your dark blue one.

Friends, my opponent--

My opponent, Mr. Ainsworth,
has alleged--

Uh, no, no, doll,
not full-faced.

Your right profile's
the best side.

Keep that in the camera.

Here, dear.

- Friends--
- Smile.

Friends--

Oh, no.

You're not wearing that
on television?

Which? The tie or the jacket?

The shirt. It's white.

And with your
pasty complexion,

you'll look like a bottle
of milk with pants on.

He's right. They always wear
blue shirts on television.

I'll get one.

Friends, my Ainsworth--

Get your hands
out of your pockets, Wilbur.

Use them
for significant gestures.

Mr. Ainsworth, my opponent
and friends, we are--

- Smile.
- Yeah, the right profile.

Let's hear your speech, Wilbur.
Come on, come on.

Yes, um, Mr. Ainsworth
has alleged

that property values
would go up.

Well, we have to study
this situation very seriously.

Smile.

Friends, let us all put
our thinking caps on.

And put your arms
through the sleeves.

And put your arms
through the sleeves and--

Holy smoke, look at the time.
I'm going to be late.

I better finish this dressing
down at the studio.

Wilbur. Wilbur, your tie.

Oh, I forgot.

Wilbur, your jacket.

Oh, thank you.

And-- And don't be so nervous.

Who's nervous?
I'm not nervous.

Goodbye, dear.

Don't forget, smile.

Use your hands.

Right profile.

Poor Wilbur.
He's a nervous wreck.

I wouldn't want to be
in his shoes.

His shoes.

Wilbur, your shoes!

Oh, Wilbur,
don't forget your shoes!

Wilbur, don't forget
your shoes!

Your shoes!

Oh, Charlie,
bring both those chairs

down to the front marks.

How's that for you, Ernie?

Fine, Russ, fine.

Can you reach it
with that boom, Gordon?

Yes, it's fine. Perfect.

Uh, excuse me.

I'll be with you
in a second.

Just take a chair
and sit down.

Make sure that key light
hits Mr. Ainsworth.

A little more.

Kick it up a little bit.

Yeah, the lights look fine.

I got to check
my opening introduction.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know these things
slipped off so easily, Mr., uh--

Mr., uh-- That's Mr. Fuller,
is it?

Who are you?

Wilbur Post.
I'm in the debate.

I'm the negative.

Why don't you come back
when you're developed?

Very funny.
That's a good joke.

May I help you up, Mr., uh--

Well, hello, Mr. Ainsworth.

Oh, Mr. Ainsworth,
don't you look fine?

Good to see you.

Hello, Tony. Got that big old
spotlight polished up?

Elsa.

My favorite script girl,
don't you look pretty?

Hello, Gordon.
How's Mr. big ears?

Fine. Fine, thank you.

That's the boy.

Ernie, how's the boy?

- How's your little boy?
- Oh, fine.

Nice of you to remember
his birthday.

I hope he like
the electric train set.

Oh, he sure does.

My Tommy's looking forward
to that picnic at Ferndale Park.

So am I, Gordon.
So am I, and I'll pick him up right after the show.

It's my ple--

Hello, Post.

Oh, hello, Mr. Ainsworth.

I didn't know you were
so friendly with the crew.

Did I forget to tell you?

My brother-in-law
is the station manager.

Max, you better get
Mr. Ainsworth made up for the show.

Oh, yes, right this way,
Mr. Ainsworth.

Yes, indeedy. Yes, indeed.

Add a little gray to sides.
It'll get him more sympathy.

Right, Russ.

[Mr. Ainsworth]
Are they going to know me at home

when you
get through with me?

[Max laughs]
Hard to say, Mr. Ainsworth.

Make me look like Rock Hudson.

I'll try, sir.

That's the boy.

Max, I'm Wilbur Post,
the negative.

Could you add a touch
of sympathy to me, too?

Well, I won't have time,
Mr. Post.

All you need
is a little base and some powder and lip rouge.

Just help yourself.

Thanks a lot.

- Can I take one?
- Oh, yeah, sure. Fine.

Any coffee in this joint?

Yes, yes, we have some coffee.

I'll have some
sent over for you.

George, coffee
for Mr. Ainsworth.

[George]
I know.

Hot.

You care for anything in it?

No, no, just black.

Uh, how do you
put on this makeup?

Oh, here. Use a sponge,
Mr. Post.

Don't forget, Ernie.
Keep shifting the camera to Mr. Ainsworth.

We want to feature him.

My coat? What happened
to my coat?

What's the matter, Post?

Well, my coat's gone.
I hung it right there.

Oh, they'll get you
another one from wardrobe.

You better finish
your makeup, Mr. Post.

We go on in 40 seconds.

Yeah, that looks fine.

Is he on yet?

Not yet.

It'll only be a second.

There we are.

[applause]

Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.

Once again Station WPXQ
presents Speak Your Piece,

a program dedicated
to local problems.

Today, we're going
to hear a debate

on the question of rezoning.

Speaking for this issue

is a man well-known
for his civic-mindedness,

his dedication to the welfare

of the people
of our community.

I present one
of our leading citizens,

Mr. Harvey Ainsworth.
Mr. Ainsworth?

[applause]

He looks so distinguished.

I don't remember his being
so gray around the temples.

Hmm, don't worry. Just wait
till you see my Wilbur.

And now speaking
against rezoning,

uh, Wilbur Post.

[applause]

What's that?

That is Wilbur.
Where did he get the coat?

Never mind that.
Where did he get that face?

He looks like he was stamped
out with a cookie cutter.

Oh, no.

I need Perry Mason
to defend me,

and I get Bozo the Clown.

And so, fellow citizens,
I repeat,

rezoning will enhance
the value of your property

and put livestock
where it belongs,

on the farm.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Ainsworth.

Now, Mr. Post,
do you have anything to say in answer to that?

Yes, I-- Yes, I have.

I feel that rezoning
our property would destroy

the rural atmosphere
and the rustic charm,

the very things
that we were seeking

when we, uh, moved here.

Moreover, as a horse owner,

I have come to appreciate

the qualities
of this noble animal.

Post?

Well, if you can't lick them,
join them.

Did you want to see any more,
Carol?

Oh, no. Poor Wilbur.

I doubt if history
will record this

with the Lincoln-Douglas
debate.

[Wilbur]
As Mr. Ainsworth--

- I've seen all I can stand.
- ...animal lovers,

knowing knowing their pets
are not welcomed,

will sell their homes

and move to a neighborhood
in which they are welcome.

Oh, here comes
poor Wilbur now,

and, oh, Kay, he looks so sad.

Addison, don't you dare
make fun of him.

Please, Rog. I don't know
what happened out there,

but he must feel terrible.

Promise me you won't kid him.

Oh, what do you take me for?

Some kind of an inhuman monster?
A person without feeling?

This is nothing to joke about.

Well, look who's here,
Snow White.

Doll, why don't you crawl
behind your mustache and get lost?

Honey, what happened?

Well, I felt I was in trouble

the minute Ainsworth walked in
and knew the whole crew.

I even had to put
my own makeup on.

I guess I didn't do
a very good job.

Oh, I don't know.

I thought those rosebud lips
made you look adorable.

[Roger laughs]

Addison, I don't think
it's anything to laugh about.

You're right, Kay. Come on.

Help me home.

[laughing]

Now, honey, don't let
Kay and Roger upset you.

Oh, they don't.

Not a bit.

I'm a man who can laugh
at himself.

I just don't like
other people doing it.

Wilbur, I'd still like
to know what happened.

Oh, what difference
does it make, honey?

Ainsworth is meeting
with the city council,

and that rezoning amendment
is sure to go through.

It just doesn't seem fair
not allowing horses out here.

After that appearance
of mine on television,

they may not allow horses
on racetracks.

Poor Mister Ed.

Hi, Ed.

I suppose you saw me
on television.

Yeah.

I was kind of hoping
the set would be broken.

It is now.

It wasn't much of a debate,
was it?

It was more
of a farewell address

to the horses of America.

I just don't understand
this fellow Ainsworth.

You know, he seems to be
a decent sort of guy.

Today, he's taking
some Boy Scouts into Ferndale Park.

He is civic-minded,

but he just has
this one blind spot against horses.

Wilbur, what's going
to happen to me now?

Ed, I have an idea.

If we were to go
into Ferndale Park and see him,

and you were to plead
your case personally--

Me? You know
I talk only to you.

Why, Ed?

Because inside,
you're all horse.

I mean, Ed, you could
break him down.

Well, there isn't a man
in the world

who could stand the sight
of a crying horse.

Sorry, Wilbur,
I don't kneel to anyone.

Well, I'll go over to the park
and try him once more.

You want to come along?

Not especially,
but I'll go along for the ride.

Great. I'll go change
my clothes, Ed.

Mr. Ainsworth, if you'll
just listen to me--

Post, you're wasting
your time.

I've got all the signatures,

and the petition goes
to the council Monday.

But why, Mr. Ainsworth?

What do you have
against animals?

All right, I'll tell you.

I've been bitten by a dog,
scratched by a cat,

kicked by a mule,
and chased by a bull.

But have you ever been
loved by a horse?

What?

Oh, Mr. Ainsworth,

there's nothing like walking
into your barn

after a hard day's work

and seeing those big
brown eyes light up,

as if to say "Welcome home,
master. I've missed you."

Post, you're drunk.

Give him the old push.
That's the stuff.

I mean it, Mr. Ainsworth.

- My horse really loves me.
- Uh-huh.

Yeah, really.

Every night he fetches
my slippers.

In your condition,
you couldn't bend down and pick them up.

All right, fellows. Come on.
We're going home. Day's all over.

- [Boys] Aww.
- Don't give me that "aww" business.

Pick up the chairs, will you?

Like good boys and put them
in the station wagon.

1, 2, 3--

Where's Bobby?

Dennis?

Dennis, where's Bobby?

I don't know, Mr. Ainsworth.

What do you mean you don't know?
Weren't you playing with him?

For a little while,
then he went off somewhere.

He's never done this before.
How long ago was that?

- I don't know, Mr. Ainsworth.
- Okay, thanks. Good boy.

Of course, he's wandered off
into the hills someplace.

Well, I better find him
before it gets dark.

He can't have gotten very far,
Mr. Ainsworth.

Look, why don't you cover
this side of the hill?

- I'll take it up there.
- Yeah, good idea.

You boys, wait right here.

Bobby?

Bobby?

Bobby?

Bobby!

Did you find him,
Mr. Ainsworth?

No.

No, not a sign okúf him.

Well, I couldn't find him.

I looked through the hills
and the underbrush.

It's beginning to get dark.
I better call the rangers.

He'd be frightened
and very cold.

I'll do that.

There's a telephone
in the snack stand where I--

Look! There's Bobby!

- Bobby!
- Bobby!

Bobby. Bobby,
are you all right?

What are you doing
up on that horse?

Oh, gee whiz, son.

You scared the life out of me.

Oh.

He found me,
and I was really lost, too.

He came along,
and I started to follow him.

But then I got tired,

so he sat down
and I got on his back.

[laughs]

Good boy.

Good boy.

That, uh-- That's your horse,
isn't it, Mr. Post?

Yes, Mr. Ainsworth.

Well, I'm sure glad
Bobby's back.

See you, fellows.

Well, come on, Ed.

Uh, Mr. Post.

Are you, uh--

You can forget
about that petition.

Thank you.

Hey, he's quite a horse,
isn't he?

Yes, he is.

My, my. How do you suppose
he ever found Bobby?

Oh, uh, he watches
a lot of detective shows.

Come on, Ed.
Bye, fellows.

Watches detective shows?

[chuckles]

Ed, you awake?

Yeah, I am now.

[yawns]

How was dinner
at the Ainsworths'?

Oh, just fine, Ed.

They're very nice people.

But you should've heard
the wild story little Bobby told about getting lost.

Ah, a wild story?

Yeah, he said the reason
he wandered off into the hills

is because somebody
was calling him.

No kidding?

Yeah. Ed, it's certainly
lucky you found him.

Lucky I called him, too.

Ed, you didn't.

Well, if I depended
on your debates,

I'd be sleeping
on a park bench tonight.

Good night, Wilbur.

Good night, Ed.

[Mister Ed snoring]

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.