Original subtitles

Look at this one.

His first day in nursery school. He hated it!

- Poor little one! - He was so pathetic...!

It's just like it was yesterday...

When I think that in three years he'll be in college,

and in five he'll be in university...

Yeah, then there's Oli who'll be in college..

- Time's just flying by, huh? - Yeah...

Another two years and Zak will be going to college!

Oh, Zak!

And then we, well...

We'll have the house all to ourselves...

all the time...

Yes...

Then we'll be almost sixty.

Yeah.

A little before year 2001 and a little after the stone age

A typical family lived on the banks of the St Laurence

A typical family

Two paces from Jupiter Ah!

Boys! It's eight o'clock! Get a move on! You're running late again!

- Not a problem! - Hey, enough of that, Mr Not-a-problem!

- You're going to finish up on detention! - Look! We don't even have the time to eat!

- You'll just have to get up earlier! - You could drive us?

- Look! Then I'm the one who'll be late? No, no. - I'm leaving.

No, Louis! Every day it's the same thing!

They get up ten minutes before they have to leave and then

we're stuck with having to drive them! They're just going to have to

learn to be responsible; They're not babies anymore! Huh?

I want you to be dressed and ready to leave in two minutes!

- Mom, it's raining! - No, no, sorry about that,

Boys, Nat's right: you're trying to con us...

OK. That's enough. Go and get dressed, it's taking much too long. Go!

That's the end of it! Go, hurry!

Hurry up! Oh, they're slow!

I'm telling you. It's you who sets a bad example in the morning!

That's why they take their time. Me, take my time?

I don't have the time to take my time! Look!

- Do you have your dictionary? - On the shelf.

- Can I borrow it? - Why?

Don't worry about why, can I take your English dictionary?

- Have you got English today? - No...

Take it, Oli, hurry up!

Hurry up!

Oh, come on! What do you have in there?

You're going to mess up your back, that isn't very wise!

Hm! Hm!

Dictionaries, but... it's not a big deal.

- I'm not a baby any more! - C'mon! Quick! You're going to be late!

That's right. I'm going to have to drive you. That makes no sense. Get into the car.

- Look at that, Nat! - Have you seen his back pack?

- It must weigh 400 pounds! - Let's go, let's go!

Did I forget my bag?

- Thomas, what're you doing? - What?

- What are you eating? - Ah, just a peanut butter sandwich.

- But we're going to be eating in ten minutes! - Yeah, so?

What's this "yeah, so?"

Look, mom... It's not going to take me 10 minutes to eat a peanut butter sandwich.

- I don't understand! - What's your problem?

They're asking me to circle the correct answer. I can't find it!

Show me... "Circle the ones that are marked with..."

That's weird; I don't understand, either!

- It's got to be a trick question. - A trick question?

That's when they set a problem that doesn't have a correct answer,

because all the answers are possible, but not absolutely right.

- Zak, let's eat! - What's the point in that?

To see if you really understand!

- I'm coming! - But that's dumb!

I'm with you, it's dumb. Then how do they know if you understand?

Well, if you don't answer the question, they know you've understood!

But doesn't circling a right answer mean that

they're sure you have understood the question?

If you answer the question, then they know for sure that you didn't

understand it! They just don't want you to try and guess at it.

- That's absolutely ridiculous! - It's a trick question!

OK, boys, do that later; supper's ready.

- What're we eating? - I've cooked up some frozen pizza.

Huh? Again? Isn't there anything else?

What would you prefer?

Eating frozen pizza once in a while

or my quitting work so that I can fix you some meals while you are left having to pay

the mortgage, the car and your vacations from your income, huh?

See? That's a trick question.

Thanks. That was nice.

- Hmm... - What, you don't have it right?

I don't know. I'm not certain.

- Ah, I'm going to fail! - Bon, bon, bon!

- Do you need some help? - I don't know...

minus 6 plus minus 9 minus minus 4

- plus plus 7 minus minus 3... - Well...

- What do you mean by "Well"? - Well, it's...

- It's really easy! - Well, go ahead then! Go ahead, Einstein!

Minus 6 plus minus 9... minus 15.

minus minus 4, since there are two minuses, you add minus 15 to minus 4,

that comes to minus 19, plus 7, minus 12,

minus minus 3... That comes to minus 15!

- Are you sure? - Well, Nat!

97% in maths in school! That was me, the brainy one in school!

- We could place a call to Call-a-teacher? - Well, yes!

Call Call-a-teacher! I just gave you the answer!

Yeah, but, it may not be right!

Call-a-teacher, is for those that are really desperate

and who don't have anyone to really help them with their homework...

- But... - Yeah, Call-a-teacher should be giving me a call!

It seems to me that the teacher said something about

two minuses meaning that you have to add the number.

That's what we did! Look! Minus minus 9

minus minus 4, that comes to minus 13. Huh?

We're adding, but negatively!

- Negatively! - Yes, yes, minus, minus, minus

- so it's no longer minus. - Can we ask Thomas?

Good, if that'll convince you!

Thomas! Thomas!

Take off your headphones for a minute!

Well, your mother doesn't trust me, Thomas. What was that question again?

- Minus minus 6 plus minus 9 minus minus 4

plus 7 minus minus 3.

- Minus 15, right? - No, minus 1.

Huh? Th... Let's see! Ha! let's see, minus 1!

Look, dad. The little negative sign, is the same as false.

The plus sign, that's true. When it's plus minus, that's true that it's false,

so, it's false. Minus plus, it's false that that's true,

so, it's false. When it's plus plus,

it's true that it's true, so it's true,

and, when it's minus minus, it's false that it's false, so it's true...

That makes it minus 1.

OK. Call Call-a-teacher. Huh, Brain,

really...

Anyway, before the reform in maths, it was minus 15.

Thomas?

THOMAS!

C'mon! What's all this shouting about?

He's been in the shower for half an hour!

That's no reason to be shouting like a crazyman!

No... 60 gallons of hot water! With that much you could heat up

the whole Niagara Falls!

- Don't exaggerate... - He's not the one paying the water bill!

- Leave it. - Hey... You know!

Thomas...? Make sure you don't use up all the hot water, dear!

Thomas, open up! You have to be clean by now!

Louis, calm down! Remember, at his age...

Intimacy...

That would explain why he is deaf! He spends his evenings on the Internet!

- Stop! - Thomas, open up! open up, Thomas!

Something isn't right. Perhaps he's unconcious?

- Unconcious...! - Fainted! Perhaps he's slipped down in the shower,

- and has hurt himself! - Thomas! Open up!

I told you about how slippery a ceramic shower stall is!

- You're the one who wanted it to be ceramic! - Non-slip,

I told you! You're the one who said it was too expensive!

- Thomas! - Thomas! Open up, Thomas!

- What are you doing? - Well...

Don't move, I'll go and fetch a screwdriver!

- What's happening? - Your brother's drowning in the shower! Thomas!

How could I have known!

- Thomas? Are you okay? - Thomas!

- Can I come in, Thomas? - Why are you shouting?

- Thomas?! - Where were you? The shower's been running for half an hour!

I was on the phone with Fred!

I don't like it when the bathroom is cold.

Can I take my shower now?

...I'll kill him!

That's it, we need a telephone for the bathroom?

Good, good, good! What're you watching?

- Running scared. - What's that?

- A horror film! - It's like a thriller.

What's the storyline?

Oli...

It's about a guy who has to shoot some people, but he shoots

some cops, but he doesn't know that they're cops.

Afterwards, he goes and hides his weapon at his place!

- His son's friend finds his weapon and shoots his father. - His friend's father?

- No, the son's father! - But that's only because his father was beating his mother!

- Ah, the son's father! - No, his son's friend's father!

And then he realizes that his weapon has diappeared!

He asks his son who took it. His son says it was his friend!

His father told him to go and get it, but when he got to his friend's,

his friend has already left because the police were there

because he killed his father with his friend's father's weapon!

He didn't know where to go so he goes back to his friend's place,

- but because his friend was already home, he couldn't go there - Go where?

- To his friend's. - Who?

The guy's son who shot at the cops!

The guy's son who shot at the police could go home?

No! To the home of the friend of the son of the guy who shot at the police.

So, he's walking the streets and is captured by some pedophiles.

Pedophiles?

Yeah, then when the catch him, they put him in the pedophiles' car!

- The pedophiles' car? - In the movies, OK,

pedophiles have small cars with large trunks!

For putting children in!

But when they go to put him in the trunk,

they don't know he's still got his gun and he shoots at them!

His friend's son's father, who also looking for him, hears him!

But the police who are looking for his son's friend,

because he has shot his father to death, also hear him.

And he runs away and joins up with his friend!

- OK. Whose friend? - The father's son's friend, of course!

And that's where we are right now. Way to go, Oli.

What are they watching?

A film. Running scared.

- What's the storyline? - No idea.

Mom, there aren't any bowls!

Look in the dishwasher!

- Did you find them? - Right!

- Nat! There aren't any cups! - In the dishwasher!

- Oh, oh! - What?

- About an inch! - Cool!

Papa! Papa! It's just that much too short!

Super! Wow!

How high did he reach?

Here! Look!

He has grown a full inch!

The famous red line!

1.37 meters! That's 52 inches.

They're more interested in reaching that line than in getting the keys to the car!

More so! They've been waiting for that moment since they were little!

1.37 meters, that's when they can get on all the rides at the fun fair...

Even so, it's a landmark in their lives...

Yes...

They come from good stock...

Hm. Hm.

Hm.

- Here? - That's good!

An inch?

No, make it two. That way it'll take all summer!

OK. Yes, yes, yes...

- Yes! - Wow, wow!

- Why is it called Miss Universe? - Because there are girls

from each country; they select the most beautiful. Dumb!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

It wasn't a dumb question, Oli. OK?

That's just how Americans are, Zak.

Everything has to be bigger,

it has to be the biggest. That's why

their baseball championship is called the world series,

even though it's just Americans playing!

So what's that got to do with choosing the most beautiful girl?

- What makes for the most beautiful girl? - How do we know there isn't someone

just as beautiful somewhere in the universe?

Extraterrestrials, they're horrible!

- Now what are you watching? - Miss Universe!

Ah, Miss Universe, that's some entertainment...

- I was just channel surfing.. - Channel surfing...?

And, just by chance, you came upon this group of 6'3" dollies in bikinis!

Some of them are super intelligent...

Miss Australia can play a ukulele while reciting a poem!

- And Miss Germany has the biggest bumpers -Pardon me

- The biggest bumpers? - Yeah, that came from Dad!

- I doubt it! - It was a joke!

It was a joke! It was because... It was because I was referring to...

to German cars... bumpers, that is how... Look, we don't need this.

- How about that! - What, "How about that"?

Do you think we're going to let you watch that? Come on!

Nathalie is right, there! Wow!

Hey! You think we would let you read Playboy, too, just for the jokes?

- What's Playboy? - Nothing, Zak. Huh!

- That's enough. - What's happening?

We were watching Miss Universe.

- Mom doesn't think they're intelligent! - Ok, ok.

Okay, well. That proves that I was right not to tell you!

- Tell us what? - Nothing, forget it. It isn't important.

- Hey, Thomas... - You know, last summer

when the school organised an outdoor get-together with the parents?

-Yes... - In a secret ballot there

the guys elected you Miss Bikini, for grades 1, 2...

Miss Bikini! Me?

- I know! I found it quite embarassing! - Really!

- I tried to defend you, but... - Ah, it's quite true that,

for such an intelligent person like you, being elected as Miss Bikini...!

You don't even play the ukulele!

It's certain that for Miss Bikini, that wasn't necessary...

but good! They're just kids...

OK, so in this instance, it's okay then,

- but don't watch too late. OK? - We promise!

Miss Bikini! Really!

- What are they watching? - A line-up of bikinis!

Thomas! You're the king!

Nice!

Oooooh!

The Little Prince? Oli loved that one!

- That's stupid! - Zak...

You don't have much choice... Huh?

Yeah, but I hate reading!

But it doesn't have to be a book!

It could be a magazine, a newspaper... Do you want to read a comic strip?

Why do I have to?

Because otherwise you won't ever learn anything!

- So what's it good for? - It'll teach you to read.

Yes but it's stupid!

Look, Zak! This isn't negotiable!

You read something. A book, a magazine, comics, I don't care,

but you have to read something otherwise, no television. Is that clear?

But!

No "But" anything! You are going to read something, okay!

Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok,... What's up?

I can't watch television unless I read a book!

It doesn't have to be a book�

I DON'T WANT TO!

Hey, whoa, whoa...

- He has to read a book? - I have to!

Their teacher has asked them

to write a book report on something they've read.

It can be on anything! It can be a magazine, a newspaper, a comic book,

by My Lord here refuses to do it!

So, I told him that if he didn't read something,

there won't be any television, that's all!

- NO TV? Maybe a little harsh? - Louis! Give me some help, here!

This child's turning into a remote control.

I know that, but...

Maybe, let me try?

Okay, go ahead, go ahead!

If you think you can do better than I, go ahead.

Hey, Zak!

I've finished!

Hey!

Well...

Excellent, Zak! I'm proud of you!

Can I go and watch television now?

Yes, go ahead!

OK...

- What did you do? - Nothing, just a bit of psychology.

For example?

I just appealed to what his interests are, huh...

The whole idea was that he wrote something that he was interested in,

which deeply concerns him,

which brings together his most personal interests.

Something which would allow him

to experience all the pleasure

that reading offers...

while allowing him to understand all the benefits that reading brings with it.

- OK... And that is... - That is, hm!

I had him write about the TV Guide.

Oli!

OLI!

Oli! Each time the ball bounces on the floor,

part of the house falls on my head; would you stop it with, the basketball?

- Well... - That goes for hockey, baseball and soccer.

- OK! - Oli!

Oli!

But, you didn't mention boules.

- Can I go now? - You have to learn!

- But! - That will give you a chance to help out?

- What? - That will give you the chance to give us a hand?

What are you doing?

Hm! Nothing, just preparing the supper!

- Well... - Well, just take a knife!

Help Zak, do something!

- Take a carrot! - Uh... I can cut up

- the chicken, instead? - If you want to.

- Watch, I'll show you - No, that's okay.

You're okay!

It my biology class! We're dissecting frogs.

I love that, the idea of just cutting along the nerves

and the tendon trying to avoid

the intestines and having blood spurt out.

Wow!

There, you cut into the muscles.

When you open it up, it's just marvelous!

You can see all the organs!

Here there aren't any...

and what I love the most,

is cutting off their legs!

- YAA! YAA! - Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa,!

That's great!

Thomas! OK. That's okay.

Thomas, I'm going to keep working but you can go now.

But... I can finish the job, if you want!

I know, you were just great but I'll take care of it.

OK! OK! OK!

Wow! OK, Bruce Lee!

YAAAA!

Huh? Listen to that!

"As a result of research done about 1500 male adolescents,

"a team of researchers at the University of California

"determined that in 2006, the average 15-year-old

"was thinking about sex every 8 minutes"!

- Hmf! That's disturbing, huh? - Are you thinking about Thomas?

Well yes, but not just about him but the other two also!

You know I wouldn't worry too much about that...

- It's just a phase. - You think so?

Yes! When they get to 17 or 18, that's all they'll be thinking about.

Careful, it's hot! It's hot...

What is it?

- Ham and eggs - Yes!

Thomas, it's ready!

- Thanks! - There you go.

- Here. - Okay, what is it, Zak?

Why is an egg yellow?

It's yellow... because that's the yolk!

That's the fetus of a chicken!

- The fetus of a chicken? - Oli, that's right!

What is a fetus?

It's a baby chicken that hasn't been born yet!

Can't you two keep quiet for a couple of seconds?

Eggs contain unborn baby chickens?

Full of unborn baby chickens!

That's enough!

Firstly, the baby chickens you're talking about are called chicks.

- Then secondly, it's not the first time� - Unborn baby chicks!

- You're eating unborn baby chicks? - Zak!

They just eggs. You've eaten them loads of times!

Yeah, but I didn't know they contained the fetus of unborn chicks!

Look at my fetuses, I like them all whipped up!

Oli, would you, please...!

Okay. You don't want to eat?

You can eat some salad, perhaps.

- Do I have to? - Zak, you can't eat nothing!

That's a shame...

I had fixed your favorite dessert.

- What? - Orange cake.

Well, why can't I have any?

- Because the cake's made with eggs. - And you don't like eggs!

- Well...! - Hmm, chick fetus

mixed in with the orange!

That's right!

- That's right! - With ice cream!

By that time I wouldn't think you'd be able to taste the fetus!

Yes, you can still hear the... "Crunch! Crunch!"

Do I have to eat it all?

At least one fetus. Just one.

Pass me that!

- Foetus express! - No, Oli! Stop! No, you're going to drop it!

I'm the one who's going to have to pick it up!

I'd like the whole world to understand

Why I love you. Why?

I love you because you're not of this world

That's what they have to understand

That's what they have to understand?

That's what they have to understand

Ah!