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1
00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:32,475
Halt! Who is going there?
2
00:02:32,559 --> 00:02:34,060
A friend is going there.
3
00:02:34,144 --> 00:02:36,771
What are we calling the password?
4
00:02:36,855 --> 00:02:40,233
We are calling the password "curry powder."
5
00:02:40,316 --> 00:02:41,943
Pass. Curry powder.
6
00:02:50,285 --> 00:02:53,204
- The king emperor.
- The king emperor.
7
00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:58,793
Right. Carry on.
8
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:05,967
Thank you.
9
00:03:10,096 --> 00:03:11,806
I say, Barrington. Good news.
10
00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,850
- More action, sir?
- Better than that.
11
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:17,312
- My entry's been accepted for the Monte.
- Oh, wiz-wiz, sir!
12
00:03:17,395 --> 00:03:21,691
You know what this means? If I win,
my inventions will become world-famous.
13
00:03:21,774 --> 00:03:23,276
Oh, another wiz-wiz, sir!
14
00:03:23,359 --> 00:03:25,111
The Dawlish military klaxon!
15
00:03:26,988 --> 00:03:29,282
The Dawlish exhaust extractor
16
00:03:29,365 --> 00:03:32,202
combined with tire inflator.
17
00:03:32,285 --> 00:03:35,580
With your brilliant brain, sir,
I can see absolutely nothing to stop you.
18
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,516
- Very nicely put, Barrington.
- Thank you, sir.
19
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:39,834
You realize that when I
become a millionaire
20
00:03:39,918 --> 00:03:42,587
there'll always be a job
for you at my side.
21
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:43,588
Thank you, sir.
22
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:46,132
- In a junior capacity, of course.
- Of course, sir.
23
00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:49,052
- I think you know the test.
- I think so, sir.
24
00:03:54,098 --> 00:03:56,935
- Mr. Mess President...
- There's no need to shout, Barrington.
25
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:59,562
- There's only the two of us in here.
- Sorry, sir.
26
00:03:59,646 --> 00:04:02,482
Mr. Mess President, the toast is...
27
00:04:03,399 --> 00:04:05,068
the Monte Carlo Rally.
28
00:04:05,151 --> 00:04:06,903
- The Monte.
- The Monte.
29
00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:10,448
- The Monte!
- The Monte!
30
00:04:10,990 --> 00:04:13,701
- The Monte!
- The Monte!
31
00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:57,996
Get out the jalopy
32
00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:00,164
And polish the wheels
33
00:05:00,248 --> 00:05:03,584
She's gotta be the smartest
of the automobiles
34
00:05:04,544 --> 00:05:06,212
Polish the paintwork
35
00:05:06,296 --> 00:05:08,381
And clean off the rust
36
00:05:08,464 --> 00:05:11,718
They won't see our chassis for dust
37
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:16,097
And when we arrive miles ahead of the rest
38
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:20,143
Everyone will know that our jalopy is best
39
00:05:20,226 --> 00:05:21,811
They'll have to admit
40
00:05:21,894 --> 00:05:23,938
She's a car you can trust
41
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:27,108
So it's Monte Carlo or bust
42
00:05:39,412 --> 00:05:42,248
As we drive along the Bois de Boulogne
43
00:05:42,332 --> 00:05:44,709
With an independent front suspension
44
00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:46,377
Every kind of new invention
45
00:05:46,461 --> 00:05:48,504
Any old thing you'd care to mention
46
00:05:48,588 --> 00:05:50,506
As we hold the crowd's attention
47
00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:52,425
We'll look around with condescension
48
00:05:52,508 --> 00:05:54,469
Mixed with a little apprehension
49
00:05:54,552 --> 00:05:57,013
Monte Carlo or bust
Monte Carlo or bust
50
00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:03,102
We're on our way to Monte Carlo
51
00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:07,190
Although francais we cannot parlons
52
00:06:07,857 --> 00:06:09,901
We hear the French are very pally
53
00:06:09,984 --> 00:06:11,986
And we're gonna win the rally
54
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:15,281
So we're sure to be the
toast of Monte Carlo
55
00:06:20,078 --> 00:06:22,330
Get out the jalopy
56
00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:24,207
And polish the wheels
57
00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:28,127
She's gotta be the smartest
of the automobiles
58
00:06:28,586 --> 00:06:30,338
Polish the paintwork
59
00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,548
And clean off the rust
60
00:06:32,632 --> 00:06:35,843
They won't see our chassis for dust
61
00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:41,849
And when we arrive miles ahead of the rest
62
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,270
Everyone will know that our jalopy is best
63
00:06:46,354 --> 00:06:47,980
They'll have to admit
64
00:06:48,064 --> 00:06:50,066
She's a car you can trust
65
00:06:50,149 --> 00:06:52,735
So it's Monte Carlo or bust
66
00:06:52,819 --> 00:06:54,654
My suspension
67
00:06:54,737 --> 00:06:57,657
Monte Carlo
68
00:06:57,740 --> 00:07:01,160
Or bust
69
00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:22,056
Oh, hard cheese, sir.
70
00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,188
Anything wrong, Carter?
71
00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:31,441
Rather bad news for Cuthbert Ware-Armitage.
72
00:07:31,524 --> 00:07:32,524
Oh, good.
73
00:07:33,568 --> 00:07:34,837
You haven't seen him, I suppose?
74
00:07:34,861 --> 00:07:37,864
- Yes. He just played off the 18th tee.
- Thank you very much.
75
00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:48,082
- I say!
- Yes?
76
00:07:52,795 --> 00:07:54,547
- Ware-Armitage?
- Yes? Yes?
77
00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:57,341
I'm afraid I'm the bearer
of some very sad news.
78
00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:01,095
- Really?
- Your father.
79
00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:04,223
Sir Percy. Been killed in an accident.
80
00:08:05,016 --> 00:08:08,060
Oh. Crashed his flying machine, I suppose.
81
00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:10,688
Kept telling him to buy a new one.
He was too bally mean.
82
00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:15,026
Still, I suppose that's the way
he would have wanted to go, eh?
83
00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:22,074
Would you chaps mind very much
if I had a few moments with my thoughts?
84
00:08:23,659 --> 00:08:25,870
Poor chap. He's taking it very bravely.
85
00:08:25,953 --> 00:08:28,122
I gather it was all over in a minute.
86
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:34,003
Well, shall we carry on with the game?
87
00:08:34,086 --> 00:08:36,547
I'm sure that's what the dear old pater
would have wanted.
88
00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:38,674
You're not serious.
The matter must be abandoned.
89
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:41,260
Abandoned? We've got a five on it.
Don't you remember?
90
00:08:41,344 --> 00:08:43,513
Come on.
You look for your ball, I'll look for mine.
91
00:08:47,683 --> 00:08:50,561
I say! My ball's right here!
92
00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:52,146
What a bit of jam.
93
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:55,566
My dear fellow,
playing golf after a tragedy like this,
94
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,984
well, it isn't cricket.
95
00:08:57,068 --> 00:09:00,321
Look, my dear old fruit,
it may be a tragedy to you,
96
00:09:00,404 --> 00:09:02,073
but it certainly isn't to me.
97
00:09:02,156 --> 00:09:05,660
Don't you realize,
I inherit the title, the estate,
98
00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:08,955
the chairmanship of Ware-Armitage,
the whole caboodle.
99
00:09:09,038 --> 00:09:12,500
I'm rich! I am stinking, ruddy-well rich!
100
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,337
I say, it's certainly my day!
101
00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:32,645
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning. Get in.
102
00:09:48,578 --> 00:09:50,288
By Jove, Perkins!
103
00:09:50,371 --> 00:09:53,291
The place has certainly brightened up a bit
since I was here last.
104
00:09:53,374 --> 00:09:55,793
Oh, we do our best, sir. We...
105
00:09:58,879 --> 00:10:01,716
And to think it's all mine.
106
00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:04,719
- Not exactly all yours, sir.
- What are you talking about?
107
00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:08,389
- Actually, it's only half yours.
- What do you mean, "half"?
108
00:10:08,472 --> 00:10:11,851
Well, some time ago,
when you were in foreign parts,
109
00:10:11,934 --> 00:10:14,854
your dear father suffered a loss,
unusual even for him.
110
00:10:15,521 --> 00:10:16,856
What?
111
00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:21,902
I don't know the details, but apparently he lost
half the share in the factory in a game of poker.
112
00:10:21,986 --> 00:10:24,196
Just a minute. The pater never lost.
113
00:10:24,864 --> 00:10:28,534
By default, sir. He had six cards
in his hand instead of five.
114
00:10:29,368 --> 00:10:30,661
Ghastly.
115
00:10:30,745 --> 00:10:31,954
Being caught, I mean.
116
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:33,372
Well, who won?
117
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:36,417
A Mr. Chester Schofield, sir, from Detroit.
118
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,377
And a bit of a nuisance.
119
00:10:38,461 --> 00:10:40,546
He's practically taken
over the whole works,
120
00:10:40,630 --> 00:10:43,049
trying to inject American know-how.
121
00:10:43,132 --> 00:10:46,594
- What, do you mean he's here now?
- Oh, yes. He's been here for six months.
122
00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:50,640
Works day and night, night and day,
and doesn't take a penny in salary.
123
00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:53,434
Well, as long as he's
increasing the profits.
124
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:55,686
There aren't going to be
any profits this year, sir.
125
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:57,146
What?
126
00:10:57,229 --> 00:10:59,690
Mr. Schofield's policy is one of expansion.
127
00:10:59,774 --> 00:11:02,443
He's invested every penny we've got
in new plants.
128
00:11:02,526 --> 00:11:04,528
- And he's raised all salaries.
- No!
129
00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:09,325
Now, if you please, he's engaged
in redesigning the Nifty-Nine.
130
00:11:09,408 --> 00:11:12,453
Looks as though I've arrived in the nick
of time. Where is this blighter now?
131
00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:14,622
Well, now he'll be in here, sir.
132
00:11:14,705 --> 00:11:16,123
Come on.
133
00:11:16,749 --> 00:11:20,044
- What's that row?
- That's another of the Yankee's ideas, sir.
134
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:23,005
- Music while you work.
- Not worth the needle. Come on.
135
00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:26,050
Damn silly idea. Never catch on.
136
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:30,680
Just a minute! Who's been having
a picnic off Dad's Nifty-Nine?
137
00:11:30,763 --> 00:11:33,265
Sorry, Dad. Won't happen again.
138
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,202
Hi, Perky. Who's the greaseball?
139
00:11:54,245 --> 00:11:57,331
Cuthbert Ware-Armitage, baronet.
Which means you call me "sir."
140
00:11:57,415 --> 00:12:00,655
It's certainly a pleasure to make your
acquaintance, Sir Cutty, sir. Put it there.
141
00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:04,547
Schoolboy buzzer. Outrageous.
142
00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:07,508
- Perkins, this is my partner?
- I'm afraid so. Yes, sir.
143
00:12:07,591 --> 00:12:10,553
May I introduce Mr. Chester Schofield II.
144
00:12:10,636 --> 00:12:13,013
The second?
You mean there are two of them?
145
00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:14,598
Hi. Come here, Cutty baby.
146
00:12:14,682 --> 00:12:17,560
Come here! Let me show you something.
Relax, will ya.
147
00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:19,770
Take a look at that baby.
Isn't she beautiful?
148
00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:21,939
We're gonna call it the Triple "S."
149
00:12:22,022 --> 00:12:24,942
We're really going places, you and I.
Zowie!
150
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:26,485
Yes, to the workhouse.
151
00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:29,196
Perkins, do we have to
have this bloody row?
152
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,866
What's the matter, sweetheart?
Don't you like it? I'll fix it.
153
00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:38,956
No self-respecting Englishman
would be seen dead in that monstrosity.
154
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:44,003
It doesn't even look like a motorcar. It
looks more like an upholstered roller skate.
155
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:49,425
It's the first and the last we make.
Perkins, see to it.
156
00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:56,056
Keep your throttle open, partner.
We're 50-50, remember?
157
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:59,518
Yes, and my 50 percent says it's got
to stop. And see to it, Perkins.
158
00:12:59,602 --> 00:13:02,605
Perhaps Mr. Schofield
would like to sell you back his shares.
159
00:13:03,189 --> 00:13:05,399
Yeah. Sure.
160
00:13:05,483 --> 00:13:07,651
For a cool half a million simoleons.
161
00:13:07,735 --> 00:13:10,446
Now, if you haven't got
that kind of mazuma, how...
162
00:13:10,529 --> 00:13:11,906
I'll tell you what.
163
00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:15,701
Pick a card. Any card you like.
It makes no difference.
164
00:13:15,785 --> 00:13:17,870
Go ahead, pick any card you like.
165
00:13:17,953 --> 00:13:20,372
- Queen of spades, right?
- Right. It was.
166
00:13:20,456 --> 00:13:22,541
Watch this one, baby. Ace of hearts.
167
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:24,126
It's gone.
168
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,628
Here it is.
169
00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:30,174
Tell you what we're going to do, you and I.
Why don't we play one hand of poker.
170
00:13:30,257 --> 00:13:31,634
Five-card stud.
171
00:13:31,717 --> 00:13:34,011
Winner... take all.
172
00:13:34,094 --> 00:13:37,890
What, play cards with you?
I'd rather have played with my own father.
173
00:13:37,973 --> 00:13:40,643
Okay, tinhorn, it's all the same to me.
174
00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:42,186
Fifty-fifty.
175
00:13:47,483 --> 00:13:50,486
How am I going to get
out of this nightmare?
176
00:13:55,157 --> 00:13:59,078
Perkins, are we too late to enter
for the Monte Carlo Rally this year?
177
00:13:59,161 --> 00:14:01,539
No, sir, but we've always
thought it wiser to stay out.
178
00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:02,748
Why?
179
00:14:02,832 --> 00:14:06,252
Well, since your father
was requested to return the trophy.
180
00:14:06,335 --> 00:14:09,338
Yes, he was very careless that year.
Still, nothing to do with me.
181
00:14:09,421 --> 00:14:11,924
I say, Schofield, old bean,
182
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:15,719
I think I've thought of a way
in which we can find out
183
00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:19,181
which is the best man and the best machine
for the welfare of this firm.
184
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:20,975
We'll both enter for the Monte.
185
00:14:21,058 --> 00:14:23,686
You drive the roller skate
and I'll drive the Nifty-Nine.
186
00:14:23,769 --> 00:14:25,980
The winner takes all. Fair enough?
187
00:14:26,063 --> 00:14:29,233
What is this Monte? Some kind of a race?
188
00:14:29,316 --> 00:14:30,985
No, it isn't a race.
189
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:34,905
It's more of an endurance test
run under strict rules.
190
00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:37,283
1,500 miles
191
00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:39,535
on the most diabolical of roads.
192
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:41,829
In the most inclement weather
193
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:42,955
In Europe
194
00:14:43,038 --> 00:14:46,041
And finishing in Monte Carlo
195
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:48,586
God! God!
196
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:51,380
Well, Schofield,
are you man enough to take me on?
197
00:14:51,463 --> 00:14:53,424
Sure, but are you, Cutty baby?
198
00:14:53,507 --> 00:14:55,926
I certainly am. And so is Perkins.
199
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,469
Me?
200
00:14:57,553 --> 00:15:00,431
Well, you'd like a nice trip to la
belle France, wouldn't you, Perkins?
201
00:15:00,514 --> 00:15:03,142
Yes, if I can get permission
from Mrs. Perkins.
202
00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:05,686
- You leave her to me.
- I wish I could.
203
00:15:05,769 --> 00:15:07,897
Well, Schofield, is it a deal?
204
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,940
It's a deal, MacNeil!
205
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,069
Zowie!
206
00:15:18,324 --> 00:15:20,618
Do you think he's got a chance, sir?
207
00:15:20,701 --> 00:15:22,912
Against a Ware-Armitage?
208
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:24,747
Don't be bally ridiculous.
209
00:16:18,842 --> 00:16:20,302
Come on!
210
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:22,805
Let's go.
211
00:16:25,808 --> 00:16:27,810
Go! Quickly! Quickly!
212
00:17:25,492 --> 00:17:28,037
Horst Muller.
213
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:31,165
German sports car
enthusiast from Argentina.
214
00:17:31,915 --> 00:17:34,251
Very popular with the ladies.
215
00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:40,049
It's like I'm twins!
216
00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:43,135
Exactly.
217
00:17:43,218 --> 00:17:47,222
Herr Muller has entered a car
in the Monte Carlo Rally,
218
00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:50,517
and you are going to drive it.
219
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:53,771
- Will not Herr Muller object?
- It is unlikely.
220
00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,314
Herr Muller...
221
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:57,316
is at the bottom of the lake.
222
00:18:03,447 --> 00:18:06,325
Your co-driver will be Otto Schwartz.
223
00:18:06,408 --> 00:18:07,951
Oh! Otto!
224
00:18:09,036 --> 00:18:10,954
- You know him?
- Oh, ja!
225
00:18:11,038 --> 00:18:13,040
I met him very often in prison.
226
00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:18,504
You will start with the
group from Stockholm.
227
00:18:18,587 --> 00:18:22,800
Shortly before you leave,
six spare tires will be delivered to you.
228
00:18:24,468 --> 00:18:29,264
The stuff will be concealed
in the fourth tire from the top, here.
229
00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:31,517
May I inquire what the stuff is?
230
00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:38,148
Do not be impertinent.
231
00:18:41,777 --> 00:18:44,822
You will pass through four customs.
232
00:18:44,905 --> 00:18:48,242
Sweden, Denmark, Germany and France.
233
00:18:48,325 --> 00:18:50,452
You need have no fear.
234
00:18:50,536 --> 00:18:54,248
Customs officers will go out of their way
235
00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:56,667
for rally drivers.
236
00:18:56,750 --> 00:19:01,421
And in any case, who would be
so primitive or so elementary
237
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:04,133
as to try and deceive them, I ask you?
238
00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,468
Only our beloved chief,
239
00:19:06,552 --> 00:19:09,012
His Excellency, Count Levinovitch,
240
00:19:09,096 --> 00:19:12,182
late of the czar's own imperial guard.
241
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:19,022
Come here one moment, Schickel.
242
00:19:23,193 --> 00:19:25,696
Is it true that
you are having the reputation
243
00:19:25,779 --> 00:19:28,615
of being the most fast driver
in the underworld?
244
00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:31,201
That is what they say, Excellency.
245
00:19:31,285 --> 00:19:33,036
Then I must remind you,
246
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,832
the Monte Carlo Rally is not a race.
247
00:19:36,915 --> 00:19:38,584
You will proceed
248
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:42,045
at the speed set each day
by the organizers
249
00:19:42,129 --> 00:19:46,800
and make yourself
as inconspicuous as possible.
250
00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:50,262
I suggest you arrive at
the finish in, say...
251
00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:52,890
the 26th position.
252
00:19:53,891 --> 00:19:55,475
And on no account
253
00:19:55,559 --> 00:19:57,394
allow yourself
254
00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,271
at any time to be photographed.
255
00:20:01,607 --> 00:20:03,483
I understand, Excellency.
256
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,569
Twenty-sixth position, no photographs.
257
00:20:06,778 --> 00:20:08,780
But excuse me, Excellency.
258
00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:11,074
What's with money, huh?
259
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:13,744
If you are successful,
260
00:20:13,827 --> 00:20:16,121
you will live like a czar.
261
00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:19,291
And if not,
262
00:20:19,374 --> 00:20:22,336
you will be joining Herr Muller
263
00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:24,421
at the bottom of the lake.
264
00:21:18,558 --> 00:21:20,477
Marcello! Marcello!
265
00:21:25,607 --> 00:21:27,109
What's that?
266
00:21:28,652 --> 00:21:30,070
It's true?
267
00:21:30,946 --> 00:21:33,824
I got it! I got it! I got it!
268
00:21:33,907 --> 00:21:36,410
Give me the bicycle! I really got it!
269
00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:40,038
Come on! Come on!
Let me through! I got it!
270
00:21:40,122 --> 00:21:41,581
This is my day, everybody!
271
00:21:41,665 --> 00:21:44,042
I got it! I got it!
272
00:21:51,633 --> 00:21:54,136
Vigile Rosti reporting, Vigile brigadiere.
273
00:21:55,137 --> 00:21:57,180
Marcello, at last.
274
00:21:57,264 --> 00:22:01,226
At last we have won a prize
in tombola nazionale.
275
00:22:01,893 --> 00:22:03,770
10,000 lire.
276
00:22:03,854 --> 00:22:06,982
5,000 each!
277
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,278
Now I buy the nice little house,
278
00:22:11,361 --> 00:22:14,531
find the nice little wife
with the nice, big...
279
00:22:15,615 --> 00:22:18,994
And have lots of nice little bambinos.
280
00:22:19,077 --> 00:22:21,580
Un momento, un momento. Not so fast.
281
00:22:21,663 --> 00:22:25,250
You want to be a miserable, underpaid
policeman all the rest of your life?
282
00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:30,297
I don't mind, if I've got
the nice little wife with the nice, big...
283
00:22:30,380 --> 00:22:32,132
You've got to mind!
284
00:22:32,883 --> 00:22:36,845
Don't you want to be the very most
important racing driver in the world?
285
00:22:36,928 --> 00:22:39,473
No. That's what you want to be.
286
00:22:39,556 --> 00:22:42,851
All right, you can be the "secondary"
most important racing driver in the world.
287
00:22:42,934 --> 00:22:44,061
You like that, no?
288
00:22:44,144 --> 00:22:46,480
I prefer the nice little
wife with the nice...
289
00:22:46,563 --> 00:22:48,440
Anyway, I can't drive.
290
00:22:48,523 --> 00:22:50,150
I can't drive.
291
00:22:50,233 --> 00:22:52,110
All right, you can learn.
292
00:22:53,904 --> 00:22:57,532
How I gonna learn to drive
when I haven't got a car?
293
00:23:01,578 --> 00:23:03,747
How's about that, huh?
294
00:23:04,456 --> 00:23:05,749
Just look at it.
295
00:23:05,832 --> 00:23:08,960
The most beautiful car in the world.
296
00:23:09,044 --> 00:23:12,547
And it's yours and mine.
All paid for, 50-50.
297
00:23:16,885 --> 00:23:20,555
You've spent my money without asking me?
298
00:23:21,473 --> 00:23:23,850
I want my money! It was my money!
299
00:23:23,934 --> 00:23:25,352
I want my 50.
300
00:23:25,435 --> 00:23:27,729
I want my 50, Angelo! My 50...
301
00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:29,815
Marcello Rosti! Attenti!
302
00:23:32,609 --> 00:23:35,070
You are my best friend, Si?
303
00:23:35,153 --> 00:23:36,446
Yes, but...
304
00:23:36,530 --> 00:23:38,782
If I don't buy that car,
305
00:23:38,865 --> 00:23:40,867
you know what happens to me?
306
00:23:41,576 --> 00:23:44,162
I have to marry the maresciallo's daughter.
307
00:23:44,246 --> 00:23:46,039
Do you have to?
308
00:23:46,123 --> 00:23:48,667
How else am I going to get promotion?
309
00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,627
Do you want to marry her?
310
00:23:50,710 --> 00:23:53,422
No. I want a nice girl
with the nice, big...
311
00:23:53,505 --> 00:23:57,008
And that is what I'm going to get for you.
312
00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:03,056
When I'm as famous a driver as Nuvolari...
313
00:24:03,974 --> 00:24:07,394
and you are as famous a driver
as Malcolm Campbell,
314
00:24:07,477 --> 00:24:10,063
we'll have all the girls we want.
315
00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:15,318
How are we going to become the most
famous racing drivers in the world?
316
00:24:15,402 --> 00:24:17,195
That's a good question.
317
00:24:17,279 --> 00:24:20,407
First, we enter the car
in the Monte Carlo Rally.
318
00:24:20,490 --> 00:24:21,491
And...
319
00:24:22,284 --> 00:24:23,577
we are gonna win it.
320
00:24:23,660 --> 00:24:24,578
And then?
321
00:24:24,661 --> 00:24:27,706
Then we enter the Mille Miglia and...
322
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:30,917
And we're gonna win it! And we're...
323
00:24:31,585 --> 00:24:34,171
How are we gonna win it
when you can't drive?
324
00:24:34,254 --> 00:24:36,465
Who says I can't drive?
325
00:24:36,548 --> 00:24:39,092
I've been studying that
book for three years.
326
00:24:39,176 --> 00:24:42,554
First, you switch on the engine.
Second, you put in the clutch.
327
00:24:42,637 --> 00:24:44,639
Move the gear into first...
328
00:24:52,272 --> 00:24:53,857
Oh, no!
329
00:25:39,861 --> 00:25:41,780
Assassins! Murderers!
330
00:25:41,863 --> 00:25:44,157
Every bone in my body is broken!
331
00:25:48,662 --> 00:25:49,913
It is entirely your fault.
332
00:25:49,996 --> 00:25:51,581
Women drivers!
333
00:25:51,665 --> 00:25:53,208
I might have known.
334
00:25:54,292 --> 00:25:56,962
You should never be
permitted on the streets!
335
00:25:57,045 --> 00:25:58,588
Police! Police!
336
00:25:58,672 --> 00:26:00,882
- Let me talk to the police!
- Oh, my leg!
337
00:26:00,966 --> 00:26:03,093
So many witnesses for us!
338
00:26:09,307 --> 00:26:11,518
Be careful. Be careful!
339
00:26:12,852 --> 00:26:15,146
This one, it's even worse.
340
00:26:16,982 --> 00:26:18,441
What is it?
341
00:26:18,525 --> 00:26:21,236
I told you I was not to be disturbed.
342
00:26:24,322 --> 00:26:25,865
I'm dying.
343
00:26:25,949 --> 00:26:28,910
Among those waiting to see
you, sir, is a doctor.
344
00:26:29,953 --> 00:26:32,414
- A doctor?
- I thought perhaps...
345
00:26:32,497 --> 00:26:33,832
Send him in.
346
00:26:35,292 --> 00:26:37,043
I hope he is not too late.
347
00:26:48,805 --> 00:26:50,348
Oh, Doctor.
348
00:26:50,432 --> 00:26:52,100
Doctor, look.
349
00:26:59,107 --> 00:27:01,985
But my ankle is worse.
350
00:27:02,068 --> 00:27:03,278
Worse.
351
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,533
You?
352
00:27:08,617 --> 00:27:11,036
How dare you! Road hog!
353
00:27:12,996 --> 00:27:15,415
I came to see you about our entry form.
354
00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:19,127
In the absence of the organizer,
would you sign it, please?
355
00:27:19,210 --> 00:27:22,339
No, no, never. Never!
Not in a million years!
356
00:27:22,422 --> 00:27:24,049
Since I am a doctor,
357
00:27:24,132 --> 00:27:26,217
perhaps you will allow me.
358
00:27:26,301 --> 00:27:27,719
No, no, no.
359
00:27:27,802 --> 00:27:29,512
Let go. Take your hands off me.
360
00:27:29,596 --> 00:27:33,058
I don't approve of women doctors
any more than I approve of women drivers,
361
00:27:33,141 --> 00:27:35,477
and I will not sign your entry form...
362
00:27:36,728 --> 00:27:38,229
You did that deliberately?
363
00:27:38,313 --> 00:27:42,067
Yes, I did. I must find out
if any damage has occurred.
364
00:27:44,653 --> 00:27:48,114
Is there any rule that says
a woman's team cannot enter?
365
00:27:48,990 --> 00:27:53,161
You have neither the strength,
the stamina nor the ability.
366
00:27:54,079 --> 00:27:55,664
Women should be...
367
00:27:56,748 --> 00:27:58,917
feminine at all times.
368
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,002
Take off your trousers!
369
00:28:01,086 --> 00:28:04,047
What? I will do nothing of the sort.
370
00:28:04,130 --> 00:28:07,425
You do not seem to have heard
that women have been emancipated.
371
00:28:07,509 --> 00:28:09,052
- What?
- We vote.
372
00:28:09,135 --> 00:28:11,262
We work in offices and factories.
373
00:28:12,347 --> 00:28:13,848
What are you doing?
374
00:28:13,932 --> 00:28:16,643
We fly aeroplanes, we sail boats
and we drive cars.
375
00:28:16,726 --> 00:28:18,520
Help! Help! Help!
376
00:28:18,603 --> 00:28:21,856
I'm as good at driving, monsieur,
as I am at medicine!
377
00:28:23,066 --> 00:28:24,234
Sit down.
378
00:28:26,945 --> 00:28:27,987
Please.
379
00:28:41,251 --> 00:28:43,169
It doesn't seem to hurt anymore.
380
00:28:43,628 --> 00:28:46,005
Of course it doesn't. You're cured.
381
00:28:47,882 --> 00:28:51,052
Now perhaps you will sign our entry form.
382
00:28:52,470 --> 00:28:54,973
- I have no pen.
- There's one here, monsieur.
383
00:29:01,855 --> 00:29:03,565
May I give you a lift anywhere?
384
00:29:03,648 --> 00:29:06,067
No, no, no, you may not, madam.
385
00:29:07,527 --> 00:29:11,030
Now, I must tell you
that for this year's rally
386
00:29:11,114 --> 00:29:14,534
competitors from 15 different countries
387
00:29:14,617 --> 00:29:16,494
will be taking part.
388
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,373
And there will be five starting points.
389
00:29:20,457 --> 00:29:25,086
Forty-eight drivers will start
from John O'Groats in Scotland,
390
00:29:25,170 --> 00:29:27,505
35 from Stockholm in Sweden,
391
00:29:27,589 --> 00:29:29,716
25 from Athens in Greece,
392
00:29:29,799 --> 00:29:32,010
30 from Ragusa in Sicily
393
00:29:32,093 --> 00:29:34,804
and 18 from Lisbon in Portugal.
394
00:29:34,888 --> 00:29:38,892
From John O'Groats they
will take this route.
395
00:29:38,975 --> 00:29:41,895
From Stockholm, this route.
396
00:29:41,978 --> 00:29:44,481
From Athens, this route.
397
00:29:44,564 --> 00:29:47,400
From Ragusa, this route.
398
00:29:47,484 --> 00:29:49,694
And from Lisbon, this route.
399
00:29:49,778 --> 00:29:51,529
They will all meet,
400
00:29:52,197 --> 00:29:53,698
if they are lucky enough,
401
00:29:53,782 --> 00:29:56,659
in the French Alps at Chambery.
402
00:29:57,410 --> 00:30:00,288
Those competitors who survive...
403
00:30:01,706 --> 00:30:05,084
will now all travel
the same route to Monte Carlo,
404
00:30:05,168 --> 00:30:09,172
where they will finally
have to race against each other.
405
00:30:10,757 --> 00:30:13,551
Oh, look! They are
starting at John O'Groats!
406
00:30:13,635 --> 00:30:14,928
Bonne route!
407
00:30:46,251 --> 00:30:48,878
We are going to start any minute!
408
00:30:49,754 --> 00:30:52,048
Hello, Schofield, old fruit.
Anything wrong?
409
00:30:52,131 --> 00:30:55,552
Oh, the whole kit and caboodle. Holy
mackerel. Do you know what happened to me?
410
00:30:55,635 --> 00:30:58,930
My driver went ahead and got himself
a case of the... Excuse me.
411
00:30:59,889 --> 00:31:01,891
I say, do you mind?
I've just had breakfast.
412
00:31:01,975 --> 00:31:05,186
Yeah, well, you can see that I can't
possibly take him in the car with me.
413
00:31:05,270 --> 00:31:06,771
Well, of course you can't.
414
00:31:06,855 --> 00:31:09,607
I say, what really rotten hard cheese.
415
00:31:09,691 --> 00:31:13,778
Needless to say, I didn't expect to win
our wager in this way, but there you are.
416
00:31:13,862 --> 00:31:17,240
If you collect your things from the factory
and send me back those 50 shares...
417
00:31:17,323 --> 00:31:20,410
Just a minute, Sir Cutty.
I haven't lost anything. I'm not giving up.
418
00:31:20,493 --> 00:31:22,954
I'll just get myself another co-driver.
419
00:31:23,037 --> 00:31:26,499
Too late to register another
co-driver, old fruit. Bad show.
420
00:31:27,125 --> 00:31:29,502
Well, like Lindy, I'll
go it alone, that's all.
421
00:31:29,586 --> 00:31:30,795
Alone?
422
00:31:31,504 --> 00:31:34,924
1,500 miles of the worst roads in Europe.
423
00:31:35,008 --> 00:31:36,384
It's impossible.
424
00:31:36,467 --> 00:31:38,636
- Who won the war?
- We did, Schofield.
425
00:31:39,304 --> 00:31:42,515
And don't you jolly well forget it.
But still, I do admire your pluck.
426
00:31:51,357 --> 00:31:53,902
What rotten luck,
his co-driver going down like that.
427
00:31:53,985 --> 00:31:56,362
Had nothing to do with luck.
Damn good planning.
428
00:31:56,446 --> 00:31:57,614
Planning?
429
00:31:59,949 --> 00:32:01,618
- You mean that you...
- Of course I did.
430
00:32:01,701 --> 00:32:04,537
I have no intention whatsoever
of losing this contest.
431
00:32:04,621 --> 00:32:06,456
How despicable.
432
00:32:08,166 --> 00:32:12,921
You realize you leave me with no alternative
but to report this matter to the authorities.
433
00:32:13,004 --> 00:32:15,423
Just a minute, Perkins,
you sanctimonious old blighter.
434
00:32:15,506 --> 00:32:18,593
- Perhaps you'd like to report this as well.
- What?
435
00:32:18,676 --> 00:32:21,638
It's a little thing I found
amongst the dear old pater's papers.
436
00:32:23,222 --> 00:32:25,141
It's a dossier on you, actually,
437
00:32:25,224 --> 00:32:27,352
compiled by the Sunbeam Detective Agency.
438
00:32:27,435 --> 00:32:29,062
Detectives? Me?
439
00:32:30,605 --> 00:32:32,231
Take this picture, for instance.
440
00:32:32,315 --> 00:32:35,944
Isn't that you next to this girl
without any clothes on?
441
00:32:36,027 --> 00:32:38,488
Taken at a fancy dress ball, perhaps.
442
00:32:42,241 --> 00:32:45,286
Better get back in the car,
Adam, old fruit,
443
00:32:45,370 --> 00:32:47,830
or the serpent might give you
a nip on the bum.
444
00:32:47,914 --> 00:32:50,458
- Can any of you guys read a map?
- Look here, sir.
445
00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:53,461
It's my duty to warn you, sir,
it's absolutely out of the question.
446
00:32:53,544 --> 00:32:57,090
Is there anything in the regulations
that says I can't go it alone?
447
00:32:57,173 --> 00:32:59,968
Well, I don't know.
I'll obviously have to go and look it up.
448
00:33:00,051 --> 00:33:02,512
That damn fool Yankee
is going to go it alone!
449
00:33:58,317 --> 00:34:02,321
Right, gentlemen. I think we've got
a few interesting devices for you here.
450
00:34:02,405 --> 00:34:05,241
This is the Dawlish periscope
for seeing over hills.
451
00:34:05,324 --> 00:34:08,453
This is a bit of a secret weapon.
It's gonna come in pretty useful.
452
00:34:08,536 --> 00:34:11,664
This is the fog lamp. Especially penetrating.
Sees through anything, this can.
453
00:34:11,748 --> 00:34:16,044
Here's the unique and, I think, rather
handsome Dawlish anti-pedestrian klaxon.
454
00:34:27,346 --> 00:34:29,057
Otto, come, come!
455
00:34:29,140 --> 00:34:31,100
Hurry with those tires!
456
00:34:31,893 --> 00:34:34,062
Brought them as quick as I could.
457
00:34:35,354 --> 00:34:36,354
Come on!
458
00:34:37,398 --> 00:34:39,525
Let's get them on the car, Otto.
459
00:34:39,609 --> 00:34:40,610
Careful.
460
00:34:44,113 --> 00:34:47,325
Go away. Go. Go. Go.
461
00:34:53,081 --> 00:34:54,123
I'll kill him!
462
00:34:58,836 --> 00:35:01,881
I say, sir, did you hear
what that German chap called you?
463
00:35:01,964 --> 00:35:04,258
Schweinehund, wasn't it?
What does that mean in English?
464
00:35:06,219 --> 00:35:07,553
Good heavens!
465
00:35:07,637 --> 00:35:10,557
I've got a very good mind to get out
and give him a damned good thrashing.
466
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,391
I wouldn't do that if I were you, sir.
467
00:35:13,976 --> 00:35:15,770
- You wouldn't?
- No, sir.
468
00:35:15,853 --> 00:35:17,313
In that case, I won't.
469
00:35:19,982 --> 00:35:22,485
That's all of them. Here we are.
470
00:35:39,919 --> 00:35:41,879
Just let me get my hands on you!
471
00:35:43,714 --> 00:35:45,466
What are you playing at? Are you drunk?
472
00:35:45,550 --> 00:35:47,552
Come out! I will hit you!
473
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,346
Oh! No photographs.
474
00:35:51,597 --> 00:35:54,433
- He nipped off pretty smartly, didn't he, sir?
- Yes.
475
00:35:54,517 --> 00:35:58,521
He could see it in my eyes that I was
going to give him a damned good thrashing.
476
00:35:58,604 --> 00:36:00,523
I don't see anything in your eyes, sir.
477
00:36:00,606 --> 00:36:02,191
Be careful, Willi.
478
00:36:02,275 --> 00:36:04,652
We must not make ourselves conspicuous.
479
00:36:30,344 --> 00:36:33,347
We win! We win!
480
00:36:34,015 --> 00:36:35,933
This is the winning car!
481
00:36:42,315 --> 00:36:43,941
Smile, please!
482
00:36:48,196 --> 00:36:49,864
Back! Back!
483
00:36:59,790 --> 00:37:01,751
Get ready! Get ready!
484
00:37:01,834 --> 00:37:04,545
Get ready! Get ready, get ready!
485
00:37:05,713 --> 00:37:08,049
- Oh, no!
- Oh, no, it's punctured!
486
00:37:09,884 --> 00:37:12,011
- Help out.
- I'll get the jack.
487
00:37:13,221 --> 00:37:14,847
We win! We...
488
00:37:16,390 --> 00:37:18,100
Look, the poor girls!
489
00:37:18,184 --> 00:37:19,769
Where are you going?
490
00:37:19,852 --> 00:37:21,604
I'm going to help them.
491
00:37:21,687 --> 00:37:24,232
Marcello, have you gone crazy?
492
00:37:24,315 --> 00:37:25,858
You want to miss the start?
493
00:37:25,942 --> 00:37:29,487
Who you want to be, the great lover
or the big racing driver?
494
00:37:29,570 --> 00:37:31,572
Malcolm Campbell or Casanova?
495
00:37:32,323 --> 00:37:33,783
Now, come on. Make up your mind.
496
00:37:35,076 --> 00:37:36,327
I want to be Malcolm Campbell.
497
00:37:36,410 --> 00:37:39,413
Well, get into the car,
you Malcolm Casanova.
498
00:37:40,498 --> 00:37:43,292
The toolbox!
Don't forget the toolbox! Come on!
499
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,242
Come on! Give us a shove. Give us a push!
500
00:38:16,325 --> 00:38:17,702
Get us a shovel!
501
00:38:20,246 --> 00:38:22,748
- What's up, Perkins?
- The road's blocked.
502
00:38:22,832 --> 00:38:25,126
Oh, yes. Better start digging, eh?
503
00:38:29,672 --> 00:38:31,299
Aren't you gonna help?
504
00:38:31,382 --> 00:38:35,344
Well, I'd really love to, Perkins,
but I don't want to get my boots dirty.
505
00:38:36,846 --> 00:38:39,390
Well, I wonder if I could
just have a spot of that, sir.
506
00:38:39,473 --> 00:38:41,684
Certainly not! You're driving!
507
00:38:41,767 --> 00:38:44,270
- But it's very cold out here.
- Of course it is.
508
00:38:44,353 --> 00:38:46,355
You've got the bloody door open.
509
00:39:16,177 --> 00:39:18,262
Hey, you can't do that!
510
00:39:20,598 --> 00:39:21,891
Start digging!
511
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,367
Zowie!
512
00:39:44,455 --> 00:39:45,664
Blast!
513
00:39:55,925 --> 00:39:57,134
Oh.
514
00:40:03,682 --> 00:40:05,059
Oh!
515
00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:09,730
Best of luck!
516
00:40:14,693 --> 00:40:15,694
Ramasees!
517
00:40:16,654 --> 00:40:19,073
Ramasees!
518
00:40:20,282 --> 00:40:22,576
Ramasees!
519
00:40:23,786 --> 00:40:25,579
Oh, I say!
520
00:40:26,330 --> 00:40:27,331
You!
521
00:40:27,998 --> 00:40:29,834
Laddie!
522
00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:33,003
You haven't seen
a chestnut gelding, have you?
523
00:40:33,796 --> 00:40:35,005
My horse.
524
00:40:35,089 --> 00:40:38,926
I know it's jolly careless of me,
but I've lost it.
525
00:40:42,638 --> 00:40:43,806
Oh!
526
00:40:45,683 --> 00:40:48,727
No. No, I didn't see your horse.
527
00:40:49,353 --> 00:40:51,147
Or your chestnut gelding.
528
00:40:51,230 --> 00:40:53,232
How on earth am I going to get home?
529
00:40:53,858 --> 00:40:56,861
- Oh, do you...
- Excuse me, but where do you live?
530
00:40:56,944 --> 00:40:59,113
Bardsley Manor, back there.
531
00:40:59,196 --> 00:41:00,948
Not more than ten, 15 miles.
532
00:41:01,031 --> 00:41:02,116
Oh, I see.
533
00:41:03,534 --> 00:41:07,913
Sure would like to take you back there,
but I'm on my way to Monte Carlo.
534
00:41:07,997 --> 00:41:10,875
Monte Carlo? Oh, dear, no.
We don't live in that direction at all.
535
00:41:11,876 --> 00:41:13,085
Would you like a shot?
536
00:41:14,378 --> 00:41:16,464
Oh, no, thank you. I don't.
537
00:41:17,256 --> 00:41:18,924
- Neither do I.
- But you...
538
00:41:19,008 --> 00:41:23,012
I tell you, I-I'd like to help you out,
but I'm working against time.
539
00:41:23,095 --> 00:41:24,722
- I'm on a rally.
- I quite understand.
540
00:41:24,805 --> 00:41:27,057
It's a pity though,
because you could have...
541
00:41:27,141 --> 00:41:30,352
Being an American, I'm sure you'd have
liked to see Bardsley. It's Elizabethan.
542
00:41:30,436 --> 00:41:33,898
Oh, it is? It sounds really terrif,
but you see, I must be on my way.
543
00:41:33,981 --> 00:41:35,566
Ah, yes, I understand.
544
00:41:35,649 --> 00:41:38,569
It's a shame, because you could have
come to lunch and met my grandfather.
545
00:41:38,652 --> 00:41:41,280
- He's a bishop, you know.
- Oh, a bishop, eh?
546
00:41:41,363 --> 00:41:42,990
Well, um... Yeah.
547
00:41:43,073 --> 00:41:46,494
Well, I-I'd love to meet him,
but you see, I really must be going.
548
00:41:46,577 --> 00:41:47,953
That way.
549
00:41:48,037 --> 00:41:50,915
Oh, well, I suppose I'll have to walk,
if I can walk 15 miles.
550
00:41:50,998 --> 00:41:52,208
Uh, yeah...
551
00:41:52,875 --> 00:41:55,044
- Cheery-bye.
- Uh, yeah, right.
552
00:42:02,301 --> 00:42:03,969
Your, uh, Madameship...
553
00:42:04,053 --> 00:42:05,513
Uh, Your Lady... Ma'am.
554
00:42:05,596 --> 00:42:07,473
Excuse me. I've got a solution.
555
00:42:07,556 --> 00:42:10,434
- What?
- Why don't I drive you to the nearest town?
556
00:42:10,518 --> 00:42:13,604
- That's awfully kind of you!
- Then you could get yourself...
557
00:42:14,230 --> 00:42:16,357
Yes. Okay? Well, hop in.
558
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,526
- By myself?
- Oh, excuse me.
559
00:42:18,609 --> 00:42:19,985
Forgot you're a lady.
560
00:42:20,653 --> 00:42:21,654
- There.
- Thank you.
561
00:42:21,737 --> 00:42:23,906
- I do appreciate this.
- Comfy?
562
00:42:23,989 --> 00:42:25,574
I know how much...
563
00:42:30,371 --> 00:42:33,123
- He's got a bit of fluff with him.
- So I saw.
564
00:42:33,207 --> 00:42:35,417
An unregistered passenger, if you ask me.
565
00:42:35,501 --> 00:42:39,672
Lucky we spotted him. We can stop at the
next checkpoint and report him for cheating.
566
00:42:51,183 --> 00:42:52,851
Right or left, Barrington?
567
00:42:53,686 --> 00:42:55,854
Hold on, sir. Tell you in a minute.
568
00:43:07,032 --> 00:43:08,742
Make up your mind, Barrington.
569
00:43:08,826 --> 00:43:10,452
Which way?
570
00:43:11,537 --> 00:43:13,372
Malmo that way, sir.
571
00:43:27,928 --> 00:43:29,555
Where are we?
572
00:43:29,638 --> 00:43:32,182
- Can't tell where we are!
- I'm looking!
573
00:43:36,312 --> 00:43:39,481
Curious route to Malmo, Barrington.
574
00:43:39,565 --> 00:43:40,691
A dash slippery.
575
00:43:41,358 --> 00:43:43,611
Switch on the Dawlish snow-stoppers.
576
00:43:43,694 --> 00:43:45,779
Snow-stoppers at the ready, sir.
577
00:43:45,863 --> 00:43:47,072
Right!
578
00:43:47,156 --> 00:43:49,533
Snow-stoppers switch on now!
579
00:43:51,243 --> 00:43:53,537
Snow-stoppers
functioning properly, Barrington?
580
00:43:55,873 --> 00:43:58,125
I should say not, sir.
They're wobbling, sir.
581
00:44:00,628 --> 00:44:02,379
Try the switch again.
582
00:44:02,463 --> 00:44:04,882
Snow-stoppers switched on again, sir!
583
00:44:12,097 --> 00:44:14,558
Perhaps we should lower them
into the snow, sir.
584
00:44:14,642 --> 00:44:18,937
Good thinking. On the command,
"Drop them," you will drop them.
585
00:44:19,021 --> 00:44:20,898
Right. Get them down.
586
00:44:21,774 --> 00:44:23,692
Snow-stoppers dropped!
587
00:44:25,778 --> 00:44:27,529
Good.
588
00:44:31,742 --> 00:44:33,243
Off, sir.
589
00:44:33,327 --> 00:44:35,371
- Dropped off?
- Sir.
590
00:44:35,454 --> 00:44:36,830
Right off?
591
00:44:36,914 --> 00:44:38,374
Complete right off, sir.
592
00:44:39,124 --> 00:44:40,334
Ah.
593
00:44:40,417 --> 00:44:42,419
So much for the Dawlish snow-stoppers.
594
00:45:03,982 --> 00:45:06,527
This is the shortcut to Malmo, sir.
595
00:45:06,610 --> 00:45:09,071
- Is it?
- Yes, sir. Through there.
596
00:45:16,954 --> 00:45:20,791
Remember, Willi, what he said.
Remain inconspicuous.
597
00:45:20,874 --> 00:45:23,001
Leave us alone! Go away!
598
00:45:23,085 --> 00:45:25,295
I can't steer on the ice!
599
00:45:34,138 --> 00:45:35,139
Keep away!
600
00:45:35,806 --> 00:45:38,225
- There will be an accident!
- Get away there!
601
00:45:38,308 --> 00:45:42,104
I say, don't look now, sir, but old
Sausage and Sauerkraut is waving at us.
602
00:45:42,187 --> 00:45:44,690
He is, is he? Well, ignore him.
603
00:45:44,773 --> 00:45:47,192
I've no intention of hobnobbing with Jerry.
604
00:45:49,236 --> 00:45:50,236
Look out, sir!
605
00:45:54,908 --> 00:45:58,245
If that Hun does that once again,
do you know what I'm going to do?
606
00:45:58,328 --> 00:46:00,330
- What, sir?
- Ram him.
607
00:46:00,414 --> 00:46:03,041
- Ram him right up the...
- Khyber Pass, sir?
608
00:46:09,798 --> 00:46:12,926
Willi, don't do anything stupid!
609
00:46:16,722 --> 00:46:19,099
That's the last time I am ever following!
610
00:46:19,183 --> 00:46:21,226
You are not only taking the wrong roads,
611
00:46:21,310 --> 00:46:24,646
but you are turning and skidding
without making the proper signals!
612
00:46:24,730 --> 00:46:27,483
I'm having the good mind
to kick you in the strudel puss!
613
00:46:28,108 --> 00:46:29,359
Just you try.
614
00:46:30,152 --> 00:46:31,570
I said, just you try!
615
00:46:35,783 --> 00:46:37,493
What is a "strudel puss," Barrington?
616
00:46:40,204 --> 00:46:43,665
I'll push you right off the lake!
617
00:46:44,208 --> 00:46:46,543
Good. Now we can continue.
618
00:46:49,254 --> 00:46:52,174
I think it's pretty clear
whose side the Lord's on, Barrington.
619
00:46:52,257 --> 00:46:53,967
- England, sir?
- Naturally.
620
00:47:03,018 --> 00:47:05,538
- I think we're mucking up their game, sir.
- Serves them right.
621
00:47:05,562 --> 00:47:07,981
- They should be playing cricket.
- On ice, sir?
622
00:47:10,984 --> 00:47:12,986
I think we hit one of their chaps, sir.
623
00:47:13,070 --> 00:47:15,072
- On the contrary. He hit us.
- Oh, yes!
624
00:47:48,105 --> 00:47:49,773
- Hey!
- Go away! Go away!
625
00:47:49,857 --> 00:47:53,235
- Is this how you drive in Germany?
- Keep your car away!
626
00:47:55,028 --> 00:47:56,947
Get off of my fender!
627
00:48:22,431 --> 00:48:23,515
Sir!
628
00:48:23,599 --> 00:48:26,184
What on earth is a bob-sleigh
doing on the road?
629
00:48:26,768 --> 00:48:29,354
I suppose the same as us, sir...
en route to Malmo.
630
00:48:48,832 --> 00:48:52,294
If these bob-sleigh wallahs don't stop
dawdling, we'll never make the checkpoint.
631
00:48:55,380 --> 00:48:57,424
Get out of the way!
632
00:48:57,507 --> 00:48:59,509
Get out of the way!
633
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,659
Better pinpoint our exact
position, Barrington.
634
00:49:23,742 --> 00:49:26,453
A good soldier always knows
exactly where he is.
635
00:49:26,536 --> 00:49:27,788
Certainly, sir.
636
00:49:27,871 --> 00:49:29,957
Zero-four...
637
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:33,335
coordinate three-zero-two.
638
00:49:36,630 --> 00:49:38,006
Soon be in Malmo, sir.
639
00:49:38,090 --> 00:49:41,009
I think you've made
a slight miscalculation, Barrington.
640
00:49:41,093 --> 00:49:42,719
I don't think so, sir.
641
00:49:43,595 --> 00:49:44,596
Sir!
642
00:49:51,687 --> 00:49:55,399
Perhaps the Good Lord is sending us
a nice surprise from heaven.
643
00:50:00,404 --> 00:50:01,780
- What is...
- What happened?
644
00:50:01,863 --> 00:50:03,490
It's a skier!
645
00:50:03,573 --> 00:50:04,908
Otto!
646
00:50:04,992 --> 00:50:06,326
Oh, reindeer!
647
00:50:09,788 --> 00:50:11,748
Get away! Get away!
648
00:50:20,716 --> 00:50:22,509
I think we are sinking.
649
00:50:31,810 --> 00:50:33,020
- The tires!
- Stop!
650
00:50:33,103 --> 00:50:34,813
We must catch it, Otto!
651
00:50:34,896 --> 00:50:36,023
The tire!
652
00:50:37,399 --> 00:50:38,567
We must catch it!
653
00:50:41,611 --> 00:50:43,321
Come back, you crazy horse!
654
00:51:36,374 --> 00:51:38,919
It looks like Mr. Schofield's
missed the boat, sir.
655
00:51:39,002 --> 00:51:41,713
In more senses than one.
I thought he would.
656
00:51:41,797 --> 00:51:45,801
Well, I suggest that you find a sheltered
corner of the deck and get some shut-eye.
657
00:51:45,884 --> 00:51:48,564
- In the motorcar, perhaps.
- Thank you, sir. Will you be all right?
658
00:51:49,429 --> 00:51:52,057
Oh, yes, I think so.
I'm just going up to my cabin.
659
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,894
Oh, how despicable.
660
00:51:55,977 --> 00:51:57,354
Passport!
661
00:52:08,156 --> 00:52:09,282
Wait!
662
00:52:09,991 --> 00:52:12,244
Zowie!
663
00:52:14,538 --> 00:52:17,249
- We made it. Are you all right, Betty?
- I think I am.
664
00:52:17,332 --> 00:52:20,544
- I'd better check for damage.
- I wouldn't like it to happen every day.
665
00:52:23,839 --> 00:52:26,049
Oh! We're at sea.
666
00:52:26,758 --> 00:52:29,094
All drivers report on deck!
667
00:52:30,554 --> 00:52:33,098
Darn, heck and H-E-double-L!
668
00:52:33,765 --> 00:52:38,186
Well, what I was just trying to say was
that we're gonna have to stay up all night
669
00:52:38,270 --> 00:52:40,272
and fix it before we get to Calais.
670
00:52:40,355 --> 00:52:44,985
But I thought you said that everybody would
have a nice rest on the channel crossing.
671
00:52:46,570 --> 00:52:48,697
Well, everybody else will, I guess.
672
00:52:49,489 --> 00:52:53,285
I can see it's all my fault. I shouldn't have
persuaded you to stop for tea at Stamford.
673
00:52:53,368 --> 00:52:55,120
Or cocktails at Maidstone.
674
00:52:56,079 --> 00:52:58,039
You'll be glad to get rid of me, won't you?
675
00:52:58,123 --> 00:53:00,292
Well, I wouldn't say that, princess.
676
00:53:01,209 --> 00:53:04,379
Oh. Excuse me. I shouldn't call you
"princess," you being a lady.
677
00:53:04,462 --> 00:53:06,047
As a matter of fact, you know,
678
00:53:06,131 --> 00:53:09,676
for a lady you've been very, very useful.
679
00:53:09,759 --> 00:53:12,053
- Useful.
- Yes, you have. Really.
680
00:53:13,180 --> 00:53:16,808
You are the first person that has ever
said that to me, except my grandfather.
681
00:53:16,892 --> 00:53:18,185
Oh, really?
682
00:53:18,268 --> 00:53:22,606
I ought to let him know I'm all right. Do you
know if there's a wireless on this ship?
683
00:53:37,662 --> 00:53:40,999
We will reach Roma by 6 o'clock tonight.
684
00:53:41,082 --> 00:53:42,834
Exactly on schedule!
685
00:53:44,211 --> 00:53:46,421
What a welcome we will get.
Just like Nuvolari.
686
00:53:46,504 --> 00:53:48,506
Malcolm Campbell!
687
00:53:51,301 --> 00:53:53,303
Let us pass!
688
00:53:53,386 --> 00:53:55,138
Move over! Move over!
689
00:53:55,222 --> 00:53:57,307
Move over! Move over!
690
00:53:57,390 --> 00:53:59,893
- What?
- You are covering us with dust!
691
00:54:00,810 --> 00:54:02,187
Get out of the way!
692
00:54:12,572 --> 00:54:14,115
Look! Look!
693
00:54:14,199 --> 00:54:15,700
Oh, no!
694
00:54:15,784 --> 00:54:17,118
No, Angelo!
695
00:54:19,829 --> 00:54:22,040
Faster! Faster! Don't let them get away!
696
00:54:22,123 --> 00:54:24,876
I can't go any faster!
I'm trying to catch them!
697
00:54:25,835 --> 00:54:26,920
Get out of the road!
698
00:54:31,466 --> 00:54:33,426
Go! Go!
699
00:54:49,609 --> 00:54:50,610
Faster!
700
00:54:52,195 --> 00:54:53,238
Go! Go!
701
00:55:08,795 --> 00:55:10,338
The truck!
702
00:55:18,430 --> 00:55:21,141
Our car! Not fair!
703
00:55:34,446 --> 00:55:37,782
Oh, now, first left,
and then straight on for 30 kilometers.
704
00:55:37,866 --> 00:55:39,784
Merci, Mon navigator.
705
00:55:39,868 --> 00:55:41,911
Oui, Mon capitaine.
706
00:55:54,966 --> 00:55:58,094
- That was a policeman!
- Well, it didn't look like a policeman.
707
00:56:03,558 --> 00:56:05,560
- He's following us.
- He is, huh?
708
00:56:05,643 --> 00:56:07,520
Well, I'll tell you something.
709
00:56:07,604 --> 00:56:10,982
With this sweet little baby,
I eat policemen for breakfast.
710
00:56:21,326 --> 00:56:23,161
Darn. Heck.
711
00:56:23,244 --> 00:56:25,288
H-E-double-L.
712
00:56:31,753 --> 00:56:34,464
- Excuse me...
- Look what you have done to my trousers!
713
00:56:35,298 --> 00:56:36,549
I beg your pardon.
714
00:56:36,633 --> 00:56:40,303
I'm sorry, but I'm on my way to Monte
Carlo. I'm a Monte Carlo driver.
715
00:56:40,387 --> 00:56:42,931
That does not give you a license
to bring death to the road.
716
00:56:43,014 --> 00:56:46,202
- I didn't mean to bring any deaths to the road.
- You have to be taught a hurting lesson.
717
00:56:46,226 --> 00:56:49,604
Before you do a hurting lesson,
why don't you pick a card.
718
00:56:49,687 --> 00:56:51,439
You'll love this trick.
719
00:56:51,523 --> 00:56:53,441
It's the nine of hearts. Right?
720
00:56:53,525 --> 00:56:57,237
You have not time to play the dance
with me! Now an explanation, please!
721
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:01,199
Actually, Officer, monsieur Le gendarme,
we were on the way to the hospital.
722
00:57:01,282 --> 00:57:02,575
A hospital. Right. In Paris.
723
00:57:02,659 --> 00:57:04,953
- To see my poor sister.
- Her poor sister.
724
00:57:05,036 --> 00:57:07,163
What is wrong with your poor sister?
725
00:57:07,247 --> 00:57:08,873
- Well, she's...
- Terribly ill!
726
00:57:08,957 --> 00:57:10,834
- No, she's ill!
- On the danger list.
727
00:57:10,917 --> 00:57:13,920
And this gentleman was very kind
to try to get me there.
728
00:57:17,382 --> 00:57:20,385
You see, her sister is "Mort-ing."
You get it? She's almost...
729
00:57:20,468 --> 00:57:22,053
Keep it up. Good. Great.
730
00:57:22,137 --> 00:57:23,513
- What?
- Keep crying.
731
00:57:24,472 --> 00:57:27,475
Excusez-moi, mademoiselle.
At which hospital is your poor sister?
732
00:57:28,518 --> 00:57:29,894
The big one!
733
00:57:29,978 --> 00:57:32,147
- I. Sacre-Coeur?
- That's the one!
734
00:57:32,230 --> 00:57:34,232
- Yes, that's it.
- Follow me.
735
00:57:35,817 --> 00:57:37,026
- Terrific.
- Thank you.
736
00:57:37,110 --> 00:57:39,028
Is your sister as pretty as you?
737
00:57:39,112 --> 00:57:40,947
Pretty, only not so clever.
738
00:58:41,341 --> 00:58:43,384
Cuthbert Ware-Armitage, baronet, reporting.
739
00:58:43,468 --> 00:58:45,428
Of course. May we have your logbook?
740
00:58:46,429 --> 00:58:47,555
Perkins?
741
00:58:47,639 --> 00:58:50,642
- Oh, come on. The logbook!
- Logbook? Oh, yes, sir.
742
00:58:51,684 --> 00:58:53,102
Logbook.
743
00:59:00,777 --> 00:59:03,488
I say! Fifi Lamar!
744
00:59:03,571 --> 00:59:07,075
- You certainly get about a bit, don't you?
- Yes, sir, I...
745
00:59:07,158 --> 00:59:09,035
- Sir.
- Oh, thank you.
746
00:59:10,411 --> 00:59:13,122
Just a minute.
What's this? "Penalty: ten points."
747
00:59:13,206 --> 00:59:16,626
You are an hour early. You are
supposed to be here exactly on time.
748
00:59:17,752 --> 00:59:21,422
Blast! Hope you're gonna give
that Yankee chap the same penalty.
749
00:59:21,506 --> 00:59:23,716
No, sir. You are the first here.
750
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,594
Hell's bells and bloody ding-dongs!
751
00:59:32,559 --> 00:59:35,895
Betty, what are you trying to do to me?
We're two hours late!
752
00:59:35,979 --> 00:59:37,699
- Have I been naughty, Chester?
- Oh, Betty!
753
00:59:37,772 --> 00:59:39,524
Anyway, you've had a lovely rest.
754
00:59:41,025 --> 00:59:42,694
Oh, that's terrif!
755
00:59:42,777 --> 00:59:44,862
You like it. You think it needs a hat?
756
00:59:44,946 --> 00:59:46,531
No! No! No! No hat!
757
00:59:46,614 --> 00:59:49,367
It looks terrific.
Just get in the car. Thank you.
758
00:59:50,827 --> 00:59:52,203
I'm sorry.
759
00:59:57,417 --> 01:00:00,336
What are you doing?
You can't put those in...
760
01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:04,007
I can't have those in the car.
Take those out of the car right now.
761
01:00:11,389 --> 01:00:14,017
No, no. It is forbidden to pass.
762
01:00:14,100 --> 01:00:17,645
No car goes through until I'm satisfied.
763
01:00:17,729 --> 01:00:20,773
This is a rally.
Everyone's losing points by the delay.
764
01:00:20,857 --> 01:00:22,775
It's absolutely outrageous.
765
01:00:22,859 --> 01:00:25,194
We've never had Customs
interfere with the rally before.
766
01:00:25,278 --> 01:00:27,614
And we have never before
received a tip-off
767
01:00:27,697 --> 01:00:31,159
that one of your competitors
was smuggling jewelry.
768
01:00:31,242 --> 01:00:34,412
It's ridiculous. All these men
are sportsmen and well-known drivers.
769
01:00:34,495 --> 01:00:37,415
They couldn't afford
to be mixed up with crime.
770
01:00:37,498 --> 01:00:38,958
What about Herr Muller?
771
01:00:39,042 --> 01:00:41,794
He's a famous German driver
from the Argentine.
772
01:00:41,878 --> 01:00:44,297
And the driver of the car
with the Union Jack?
773
01:00:44,380 --> 01:00:46,466
He's an Indian army officer.
774
01:00:46,549 --> 01:00:49,677
He's traveled 10,000 miles
to take part in this rally
775
01:00:49,761 --> 01:00:51,554
and show off his inventions.
776
01:00:51,638 --> 01:00:53,765
He's hardly likely to be a smuggler.
777
01:00:53,848 --> 01:00:56,726
He may have invented a place
in which to smuggle jewels.
778
01:00:57,894 --> 01:01:01,481
Anyway, we will search
the German's car first.
779
01:01:02,690 --> 01:01:04,776
- Nothing to declare.
- Logbook.
780
01:01:05,652 --> 01:01:09,364
But I'm telling you I have nothing
to declare, not even a frankfurter.
781
01:01:09,447 --> 01:01:10,907
Unpack those bags.
782
01:01:13,660 --> 01:01:15,370
Knife?
783
01:01:15,453 --> 01:01:17,747
I say. Steady on, huh?
784
01:01:22,251 --> 01:01:24,921
Hope they don't find our cigarettes.
Or our Scotch.
785
01:01:25,004 --> 01:01:28,007
Don't fuss so, Barrington.
They'll never search us.
786
01:01:28,091 --> 01:01:30,301
Any fool can see we're British.
787
01:01:31,678 --> 01:01:33,721
I think they're gonna cop it, sir.
788
01:01:43,481 --> 01:01:45,608
Let them pass.
789
01:01:45,692 --> 01:01:47,652
Logbook, sir, if you please.
790
01:01:48,319 --> 01:01:52,073
We're running a bit slow, so if you'd
just, um, stamp the old logbook,
791
01:01:52,156 --> 01:01:53,825
we'll be away.
792
01:01:55,785 --> 01:01:58,287
Ah. Um, yes. These.
793
01:01:58,371 --> 01:02:02,250
Uh, these are purely
for our personal consumption.
794
01:02:02,333 --> 01:02:04,335
I'm a very heavy smoker,
795
01:02:04,419 --> 01:02:07,213
and Barrington here
is a very, very heavy drinker.
796
01:02:07,296 --> 01:02:08,589
Steady, sir.
797
01:02:08,673 --> 01:02:10,508
For his size, that is.
798
01:02:10,591 --> 01:02:13,010
You will both come with me.
799
01:02:13,094 --> 01:02:15,096
Strip the car.
800
01:02:15,179 --> 01:02:17,682
I will strip these men.
801
01:02:17,765 --> 01:02:20,143
Strip us?
802
01:02:20,226 --> 01:02:21,519
Naked?
803
01:02:21,602 --> 01:02:23,688
That is what I said.
804
01:02:23,771 --> 01:02:27,692
The only persons permitted
to see me in the pink
805
01:02:27,775 --> 01:02:30,153
are Mrs. Dawlish, that's the memsahib,
806
01:02:30,236 --> 01:02:33,030
Ritchie Vereswamy, that's my batman,
807
01:02:33,114 --> 01:02:36,951
and Major E.J. Crossway Pontsumby,
and that's my doctor.
808
01:02:37,034 --> 01:02:39,662
Request refused, and that's that.
809
01:02:39,746 --> 01:02:41,330
Bring them inside.
810
01:02:41,414 --> 01:02:43,416
- Get... Get off.
- Get your hands off me!
811
01:02:43,499 --> 01:02:44,667
Disgraceful. Get off!
812
01:02:44,751 --> 01:02:47,378
Excuse me, please.
You are still having my logbook.
813
01:02:47,462 --> 01:02:49,297
Oh, yes, sir. Of course.
814
01:02:50,673 --> 01:02:52,592
- There we are.
- Thank you, thank you.
815
01:02:55,011 --> 01:02:56,888
All right.
816
01:02:56,971 --> 01:03:01,601
As far as I'm concerned, this is definitely
the end of the entente cordiale.
817
01:03:20,745 --> 01:03:22,747
No. Just a minute.
818
01:03:23,873 --> 01:03:25,875
There you are.
819
01:03:38,221 --> 01:03:40,431
The water looks lovely!
820
01:03:41,766 --> 01:03:43,392
Can we go and swim?
821
01:03:43,476 --> 01:03:45,228
Let's get these clothes off.
822
01:03:48,314 --> 01:03:50,900
- Isn't it marvelous?
- Put your clothes on the bush.
823
01:03:52,276 --> 01:03:53,778
Come on.
824
01:04:03,579 --> 01:04:05,373
- What's the idea?
- The girls!
825
01:04:07,959 --> 01:04:10,294
Marcello, I don't want to stop.
826
01:04:10,378 --> 01:04:12,255
Marcello, do you hear me?
827
01:04:12,338 --> 01:04:14,465
Please don't be so obstinate.
828
01:04:14,549 --> 01:04:16,050
Look. Hey!
829
01:04:16,133 --> 01:04:18,970
Hello there! Hey!
830
01:04:19,053 --> 01:04:21,973
We're going to have a swim too.
It's very hot. Hey!
831
01:04:22,056 --> 01:04:25,476
Who you wanna be,
Malcolm Campbell or Casanova?
832
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:28,604
I changed my mind. I want to be Casanova.
833
01:04:28,688 --> 01:04:30,606
- You're not going to be.
- Why?
834
01:04:30,690 --> 01:04:32,358
Well...
835
01:04:32,441 --> 01:04:34,777
I have a better idea. Come on. Come on!
836
01:04:34,861 --> 01:04:36,863
- I want to be Casanova.
- Come on.
837
01:04:36,946 --> 01:04:39,073
- Quick, get their clothes.
- The clothes?
838
01:04:39,156 --> 01:04:41,826
- Yes, yes.
- Hey! Hey!
839
01:04:41,909 --> 01:04:43,536
- In the boot?
- Yes.
840
01:04:51,377 --> 01:04:53,880
And now we're going to have a nice swim.
841
01:04:53,963 --> 01:04:55,590
Don't come in, sir!
842
01:04:55,673 --> 01:04:57,133
No! Go away!
843
01:04:57,967 --> 01:05:01,178
Hey! I'm here! I'm coming!
844
01:05:03,681 --> 01:05:05,516
Wait for me.
845
01:05:09,312 --> 01:05:11,522
Lovely girls.
846
01:05:15,693 --> 01:05:16,861
Oh, look. Comrades.
847
01:05:17,987 --> 01:05:19,322
- Come on.
- What?
848
01:05:19,405 --> 01:05:22,033
- Come on!
- But, Angelo!
849
01:05:22,116 --> 01:05:25,369
Why you say we go have a nice swim?
Why you change your mind?
850
01:05:25,453 --> 01:05:27,079
There's a car ahead of us, Marcello.
851
01:05:27,163 --> 01:05:29,999
I can't afford to lose this rally.
You know that. Let's go!
852
01:05:33,836 --> 01:05:35,671
- I don't know.
- Don't look.
853
01:05:41,469 --> 01:05:43,930
- What has she got there?
- Hey!
854
01:05:54,315 --> 01:05:55,942
Bonsoir. Fill her up.
855
01:06:17,630 --> 01:06:18,756
I say.
856
01:06:21,842 --> 01:06:25,554
Am I the first rally driver
to pass through here?
857
01:06:33,145 --> 01:06:35,773
- Haven't you got anything smaller?
- Afraid not.
858
01:06:37,525 --> 01:06:39,151
I have no small change.
859
01:06:39,235 --> 01:06:42,321
Well, you'd better go and get some,
hadn't you, old garcon?
860
01:06:51,580 --> 01:06:53,874
Expecting me to go and find change.
861
01:06:55,334 --> 01:06:57,753
- Off we go, Perkins.
- What about your change?
862
01:06:57,837 --> 01:06:59,588
Oh, let him keep it.
863
01:06:59,672 --> 01:07:03,384
You must know by now
what a generous, lovable person I am.
864
01:07:17,106 --> 01:07:19,734
What a filthy trick!
You did that on purpose.
865
01:07:19,817 --> 01:07:22,611
Perkins, what a ghastly thing to say.
866
01:07:26,782 --> 01:07:29,410
- Come on, Perkins.
- It won't start.
867
01:07:29,493 --> 01:07:31,787
- Come on.
- It won't start.
868
01:07:31,871 --> 01:07:33,956
Come on. Hurry. Let's get out.
869
01:07:34,957 --> 01:07:36,751
Put out the fire, Perkins!
870
01:07:38,836 --> 01:07:41,672
Run for it! Grab the bags!
871
01:07:54,643 --> 01:07:56,896
Hoist with your own petard.
872
01:07:56,979 --> 01:07:58,856
And it serves you jolly well right.
873
01:07:58,939 --> 01:08:01,984
You know, Perkins, if I were you,
I'd be careful what I say.
874
01:08:02,068 --> 01:08:03,986
I don't have to anymore.
875
01:08:04,070 --> 01:08:08,449
Sir Cuthbert Clever Dick,
my dossier went up in those flames.
876
01:08:08,532 --> 01:08:10,493
I'm a free man now.
877
01:08:14,497 --> 01:08:18,292
Well, Mr. Perky Perkins,
shall we get on with the rally?
878
01:08:19,085 --> 01:08:21,378
What, in that thing?
879
01:08:22,254 --> 01:08:23,672
Better hope.
880
01:08:23,756 --> 01:08:28,219
My dear Perkins, you don't for one moment
think with you driving and what's at stake
881
01:08:28,302 --> 01:08:31,347
that I didn't foresee a crack-up
or a mechanical breakdown.
882
01:08:31,430 --> 01:08:33,057
Got a light, old bean?
883
01:08:33,140 --> 01:08:36,936
So I arranged for three identical
Nifty-Nines with identical numbers
884
01:08:37,019 --> 01:08:39,396
to be planted along the route.
885
01:08:39,480 --> 01:08:43,317
One telephone call,
and we'll have a new car by dinnertime.
886
01:08:54,620 --> 01:08:56,831
Get a generator going!
887
01:09:00,251 --> 01:09:03,087
Everyone else seems to have
got here before us.
888
01:09:13,472 --> 01:09:15,015
Where's the damned manager?
889
01:09:15,099 --> 01:09:17,017
Now what did you say your names were?
890
01:09:17,101 --> 01:09:21,730
Chester Schofield II
and Elizabeth Hardwick I.
891
01:09:21,814 --> 01:09:24,984
Oh, but I have only one room.
Will that be all right?
892
01:09:25,067 --> 01:09:28,112
- Of course not, it won't be all right.
- I'm sorry. I only have one room.
893
01:09:28,195 --> 01:09:30,197
But this is Her Ladyship.
We can't share a room.
894
01:09:30,281 --> 01:09:33,659
- There's a sofa in the bedroom, sir.
- Then that's what I will have, the sofa.
895
01:09:33,742 --> 01:09:35,911
- I will have the sofa.
- Come on.
896
01:09:35,995 --> 01:09:38,789
I'll take the sofa. You should have
the bed, and I'll take the sofa.
897
01:09:38,873 --> 01:09:41,041
- You should have the bed.
- Then it's agreed.
898
01:09:41,125 --> 01:09:42,877
Bed. Sofa.
899
01:09:44,336 --> 01:09:46,630
Bed. Sofa.
900
01:09:55,556 --> 01:09:57,600
You wish to be called at 7:00 sharp?
901
01:09:57,683 --> 01:10:00,144
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
At 7:00. Good night.
902
01:10:18,704 --> 01:10:21,540
Well, I shouldn't...
I shouldn't have done that.
903
01:10:25,252 --> 01:10:26,754
Excuse me.
904
01:10:34,386 --> 01:10:36,305
I'm awfully... Excuse me.
905
01:11:01,538 --> 01:11:03,165
Let me pass.
906
01:11:04,875 --> 01:11:07,544
Roses are blooming in Piccadilly
907
01:11:08,003 --> 01:11:10,464
Enough with the roses from Piccadilly!
Hurry up!
908
01:11:14,009 --> 01:11:16,595
It's not as though I'm asking you
to do anything difficult.
909
01:11:16,679 --> 01:11:19,848
Just persuade young Chester to drink this,
and your troubles are over.
910
01:11:19,932 --> 01:11:21,100
No.
911
01:11:21,183 --> 01:11:23,560
Come on. Won't do him any harm.
912
01:11:23,644 --> 01:11:25,396
Just put him to sleep for 24 hours.
913
01:11:29,775 --> 01:11:31,110
Sorry.
914
01:11:33,279 --> 01:11:36,365
Oh, go away, Cuthbert,
and shut the door after you, please.
915
01:11:36,448 --> 01:11:39,576
Now, you do as I say,
and you'll have no cause to regret it.
916
01:11:39,660 --> 01:11:40,869
Good night.
917
01:11:43,831 --> 01:11:46,041
Perkins, where are you?
918
01:11:48,877 --> 01:11:50,170
Perkins!
919
01:11:51,463 --> 01:11:52,965
Perkins!
920
01:12:05,936 --> 01:12:08,856
Uh, what was Sir Cutty doing in here,
if it isn't a rude question?
921
01:12:08,939 --> 01:12:10,316
Nothing. He came into the room.
922
01:12:10,399 --> 01:12:12,669
Uh-huh. And what is it you're gonna
have no cause to regret?
923
01:12:12,693 --> 01:12:15,630
- It's none of your business.
- It isn't, huh? Can I ask you another question?
924
01:12:15,654 --> 01:12:19,575
- What is Sir Armitage to you anyway?
- He's my second cousin, if you must know.
925
01:12:19,658 --> 01:12:21,869
- Yes, my grandfather is his uncle.
- Right.
926
01:12:21,952 --> 01:12:24,663
- Well, then why didn't you tell me this before?
- Why should I?
927
01:12:24,747 --> 01:12:26,373
It's got nothing to do with you.
928
01:12:26,457 --> 01:12:29,126
It doesn't?
Well, it's very important to him and me.
929
01:12:29,209 --> 01:12:31,503
I've got a wager with him.
You want to know something?
930
01:12:31,587 --> 01:12:35,632
- I'm beginning to wonder.
- Now, what are you beginning to wonder?
931
01:12:35,716 --> 01:12:38,594
Well... you know, it seems...
932
01:12:40,262 --> 01:12:43,474
It seems to me
that from the minute I picked you up,
933
01:12:43,557 --> 01:12:46,560
a lot of little things have been happening,
little things to slow me down.
934
01:12:46,643 --> 01:12:50,189
- Such as?
- Such as tea in Stamford.
935
01:12:50,272 --> 01:12:51,982
Cocktails in Maidstone.
936
01:12:52,066 --> 01:12:53,692
Breakfast in Calais.
937
01:12:53,776 --> 01:12:56,904
And that shopping in not-so-gay Paris.
938
01:12:56,987 --> 01:12:59,323
- And you think that I deliberately...
- Right.
939
01:12:59,740 --> 01:13:01,367
Thank you very much.
940
01:13:03,619 --> 01:13:08,040
If it's not delaying you too terribly,
would you mind opening the door?
941
01:13:08,123 --> 01:13:10,959
Betty, there's really no reason
to get that excited.
942
01:13:11,043 --> 01:13:13,021
- Excited? Who's getting excited?
- You're getting excited.
943
01:13:13,045 --> 01:13:14,588
All I want to know is what...
944
01:13:14,671 --> 01:13:18,342
Before I go, I would like to point out that
I may have slowed you down once or twice,
945
01:13:18,425 --> 01:13:21,595
but you stayed in Chambery
the same time as everyone else!
946
01:13:28,185 --> 01:13:30,187
I really did it this time.
947
01:13:30,854 --> 01:13:33,065
Oh, B-L-A-S-T.
948
01:13:34,191 --> 01:13:37,319
Perkins, where the hell is my room?
949
01:13:37,403 --> 01:13:39,988
The shoes. Our shoes.
950
01:13:40,072 --> 01:13:42,324
It's all very confusing.
951
01:13:42,408 --> 01:13:43,909
Perkins, Perkins.
952
01:13:43,992 --> 01:13:46,512
I thought of a way of making it
more confusing tomorrow morning.
953
01:13:46,578 --> 01:13:49,058
Swap all these shoes around
so everybody gets a different pair,
954
01:13:49,123 --> 01:13:50,457
except me, of course.
955
01:13:50,541 --> 01:13:53,377
Oh, do we have to, sir?
It's awfully childish.
956
01:13:53,460 --> 01:13:55,462
What? I don't agree.
957
01:13:55,546 --> 01:13:57,798
It's all part of the strategy of the rally.
958
01:13:57,881 --> 01:13:58,924
- Willi.
- Huh?
959
01:13:59,007 --> 01:14:01,427
Be a good fellow and switch off the light.
960
01:14:06,306 --> 01:14:09,601
- The roses are blooming
- Now, then.
961
01:14:09,685 --> 01:14:11,520
In Piccadilly
962
01:14:15,482 --> 01:14:16,483
Hurry up!
963
01:14:35,627 --> 01:14:39,506
Roses are blooming in Piccadilly
964
01:14:39,590 --> 01:14:41,967
By the light of...
965
01:14:42,801 --> 01:14:44,219
Oh, no!
966
01:15:06,074 --> 01:15:07,951
Good night, sir.
967
01:15:11,788 --> 01:15:15,000
Roses are shining in Piccadilly
968
01:15:25,719 --> 01:15:28,931
Roses are blooming in Piccadilly
969
01:15:37,731 --> 01:15:39,274
Move aside.
970
01:15:49,952 --> 01:15:51,954
Perkins! There's a stranger in the bed!
971
01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:56,833
You've got my...
972
01:15:59,086 --> 01:16:00,796
He's got a false mustache.
973
01:16:00,879 --> 01:16:02,506
Where's my room?
974
01:16:02,589 --> 01:16:04,007
How dare you, sir!
975
01:16:04,091 --> 01:16:06,051
That's him.
Pull his mustache off, sir.
976
01:16:06,134 --> 01:16:08,637
- Yes.
- Leave me alone! How dare you!
977
01:16:09,388 --> 01:16:11,807
That man tried to get into bed with me!
978
01:16:12,849 --> 01:16:14,851
No! Get your hands off me!
979
01:16:17,771 --> 01:16:19,773
How dare you, sir!
980
01:16:22,568 --> 01:16:23,652
How dare you!
981
01:16:25,696 --> 01:16:27,197
Go away!
982
01:16:29,950 --> 01:16:32,327
Can't someone find the main switch?
983
01:16:36,748 --> 01:16:38,166
Perkins?
984
01:16:39,209 --> 01:16:40,836
Damn. The dossier.
985
01:16:45,924 --> 01:16:48,343
Perkins, don't you ever let up?
986
01:16:50,012 --> 01:16:52,347
Get out of this room. Get out!
987
01:16:55,559 --> 01:16:58,186
It's yours. I'm so sorry.
988
01:16:59,688 --> 01:17:02,357
I say, Perkins, how do you do it?
989
01:17:02,441 --> 01:17:04,026
The dossier.
990
01:17:04,109 --> 01:17:07,070
It's quite simple if you know how.
991
01:17:08,447 --> 01:17:09,948
Good show.
992
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,786
Sweet dreams, Perky.
993
01:17:18,749 --> 01:17:20,626
No, no, no. Please, no!
994
01:17:20,876 --> 01:17:24,046
I love you. I love you. I love you.
995
01:17:54,159 --> 01:17:55,661
Betty.
996
01:17:57,287 --> 01:17:59,873
- Are you asleep?
- Yes.
997
01:17:59,956 --> 01:18:01,958
And I don't want to talk to you.
998
01:18:02,042 --> 01:18:03,752
I'm terribly sleepy.
999
01:18:03,835 --> 01:18:08,632
I'm... terribly sleepy too, but I...
1000
01:18:09,675 --> 01:18:11,718
I can't go to sleep until...
1001
01:18:13,095 --> 01:18:14,805
until I tell you that I'm sorry.
1002
01:18:15,847 --> 01:18:17,683
I'm...
1003
01:18:17,766 --> 01:18:19,393
I really am terribly sorry
1004
01:18:19,476 --> 01:18:21,186
for... for what I did.
1005
01:18:21,269 --> 01:18:26,108
I mean, for, well, jumping to all
those terrible conclusions about you.
1006
01:18:26,191 --> 01:18:28,068
I shouldn't have done that.
1007
01:18:28,151 --> 01:18:32,030
I mean, I wouldn't be this far
if it wasn't for you.
1008
01:18:32,114 --> 01:18:35,701
I'd have probably ended up
in Timbuktu or someplace.
1009
01:18:38,370 --> 01:18:39,996
You... You didn't drink?
1010
01:18:40,080 --> 01:18:43,166
Huh? No. I gave it up.
You saw me throw it away.
1011
01:18:45,168 --> 01:18:46,962
Oh, thank heavens.
1012
01:18:47,504 --> 01:18:48,422
Phew.
1013
01:18:48,505 --> 01:18:52,134
I mean, I don't like a man that drinks.
1014
01:18:54,553 --> 01:18:56,096
I can see that.
1015
01:18:56,179 --> 01:18:59,474
Listen, you don't have to say you're sorry.
1016
01:19:00,726 --> 01:19:02,894
- I forgive you.
- Well, thank you.
1017
01:19:04,146 --> 01:19:08,483
Do you think it'd be all right
if I got under the rug
1018
01:19:08,567 --> 01:19:10,360
and kind of huddled a little bit?
1019
01:19:10,444 --> 01:19:13,071
For just a couple of minutes,
I could just huddle here.
1020
01:19:13,155 --> 01:19:15,449
- No. Yes.
- Until I just warm up a bit.
1021
01:19:16,742 --> 01:19:19,062
How is that? Is that all right?
I'm not crowding you, am I?
1022
01:19:19,119 --> 01:19:21,121
- Are you all right?
- Got enough room? Terrific.
1023
01:19:31,047 --> 01:19:33,049
Oh, my God. Chester?
1024
01:19:34,134 --> 01:19:36,195
- Chester.
- I promise I'll never take another drink!
1025
01:19:36,219 --> 01:19:38,013
Chester, they're all going.
Quickly, quickly.
1026
01:19:38,096 --> 01:19:39,723
The rally, the rally!
1027
01:19:39,806 --> 01:19:42,434
- Oh, yeah. The rally.
- I'll get dressed.
1028
01:19:49,274 --> 01:19:51,109
Give her a swipe.
1029
01:19:52,402 --> 01:19:55,614
Where's my car?
Look, can you give my windscreen a rub?
1030
01:19:56,531 --> 01:19:58,033
All right. Stop.
1031
01:20:04,998 --> 01:20:08,043
I'll get the bags. Come on.
1032
01:20:08,126 --> 01:20:09,503
Hop to it!
1033
01:20:14,174 --> 01:20:15,383
Hey!
1034
01:20:20,806 --> 01:20:23,308
Why do you make the eyes at that girl?
1035
01:20:23,391 --> 01:20:25,894
I know women like the back of my hand.
1036
01:20:25,977 --> 01:20:28,688
She wouldn't even look at you.
1037
01:20:28,772 --> 01:20:31,942
Besides, I think she's fancying me.
1038
01:20:36,404 --> 01:20:37,906
Ciao!
1039
01:20:54,714 --> 01:20:56,675
What is it? What? What?
1040
01:20:56,758 --> 01:20:59,094
- Oh, that milk is drugged!
- The milk is drugged?
1041
01:20:59,177 --> 01:21:01,263
Yes. That's why Cuthbert
was here last night.
1042
01:21:01,346 --> 01:21:03,431
He was trying to force me
to force you to drink it.
1043
01:21:03,515 --> 01:21:05,576
Force me to force you...
Why would he want to do that?
1044
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:08,019
You see, he knows something terrible
about my grandfather,
1045
01:21:08,103 --> 01:21:10,564
and he said if I didn't do as he wanted,
1046
01:21:10,647 --> 01:21:12,524
he'd have him defrocked.
1047
01:21:12,607 --> 01:21:13,900
- Defrocked?
- Yes.
1048
01:21:13,984 --> 01:21:16,444
And that would be terrible for
my grandpapa. He's a bishop.
1049
01:21:16,528 --> 01:21:19,698
Well, it ain't chopped chicken liver to me,
I'll tell you that.
1050
01:21:21,074 --> 01:21:23,535
Well, I... I guess that's it.
1051
01:21:23,618 --> 01:21:25,954
Good-bye. I mean, I lose everything.
1052
01:21:26,037 --> 01:21:28,290
Lose everything? No, of course you don't.
1053
01:21:28,373 --> 01:21:32,002
- Now, do you feel sleepy yet?
- As a matter of fact, I don't. I feel quite good.
1054
01:21:32,085 --> 01:21:35,005
There you are. You see? You never know.
It may not work with you.
1055
01:21:35,088 --> 01:21:37,173
- Oh, good, good.
- Anyway, I'll keep you awake.
1056
01:21:37,257 --> 01:21:38,758
- How?
- I'll sing to you.
1057
01:21:39,926 --> 01:21:41,654
Well, I'll throw water
over you or something.
1058
01:21:41,678 --> 01:21:43,656
- I think it's beginning to work.
- You must keep going.
1059
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:45,098
- Right. We gotta keep going.
- Yes.
1060
01:21:45,181 --> 01:21:46,558
Let's go. We gotta keep going.
1061
01:21:46,641 --> 01:21:48,143
Spanner.
1062
01:21:50,729 --> 01:21:52,731
Check the oil pressure.
1063
01:21:53,982 --> 01:21:56,192
Oops. Sorry.
1064
01:21:56,276 --> 01:21:58,361
What the bally hell's that?
1065
01:21:58,445 --> 01:22:00,447
Looks like a cowcatcher, sir.
1066
01:22:00,530 --> 01:22:03,116
Not likely to catch many cows around here.
1067
01:22:03,199 --> 01:22:07,037
Here we are, Perkins.
Identical to the other one.
1068
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:08,622
You amaze me.
1069
01:22:08,705 --> 01:22:11,207
You've gotta get up very early
to catch a Ware-Armitage.
1070
01:22:12,208 --> 01:22:14,586
Right. Barrington, blowtorch.
1071
01:22:15,629 --> 01:22:17,005
Thank you.
1072
01:22:17,088 --> 01:22:18,924
Stand back. Stand back.
1073
01:22:19,007 --> 01:22:22,385
Now, if the Dawlish snow melter
doesn't see us through to Monte Carlo,
1074
01:22:22,469 --> 01:22:24,471
my name's Rudolph Valentino.
1075
01:22:29,851 --> 01:22:32,395
This must be a very proud moment
for you, sir.
1076
01:22:32,479 --> 01:22:33,980
It is indeed.
1077
01:22:34,064 --> 01:22:36,650
I think I can safely say
I'm on my way to my first million.
1078
01:22:36,733 --> 01:22:40,737
Oh, wiz-wiz, sir.
How absolutely rip-rip-ripping.
1079
01:22:44,658 --> 01:22:47,035
That cowcatcher's melting the snow, sir.
1080
01:22:48,036 --> 01:22:51,247
- Why don't we follow it?
- Good idea.
1081
01:22:51,331 --> 01:22:55,627
You know, Perkins, I think that some of
my genius is beginning to rub off on you.
1082
01:23:11,351 --> 01:23:13,353
Come on, Perkins!
1083
01:23:50,515 --> 01:23:53,768
I think this is one
of your best inventions, sir.
1084
01:23:53,852 --> 01:23:55,729
They're all good, Barrington.
1085
01:23:55,812 --> 01:23:59,065
I think on the Mach Two, I'll have
to do something about the smell.
1086
01:23:59,149 --> 01:24:02,068
Hoping you'd say something like that, sir.
1087
01:24:04,738 --> 01:24:07,032
I can't stand it any longer.
1088
01:24:16,166 --> 01:24:18,460
I'll take the high road,
while they take the low road.
1089
01:24:33,683 --> 01:24:36,895
Oh, shame, shame. It's broken, sir.
1090
01:24:36,978 --> 01:24:40,273
Rotten civilian workmanship.
Should have had it made by the army.
1091
01:24:41,149 --> 01:24:42,984
Well, bang goes your million, eh, sir?
1092
01:24:43,068 --> 01:24:45,779
Never mind, Barrington.
We can do without it.
1093
01:24:45,862 --> 01:24:49,824
We may have lost the Dawlish snow melter,
but we haven't lost the rally.
1094
01:24:49,908 --> 01:24:51,117
Well said, sir.
1095
01:24:51,201 --> 01:24:54,412
You mean to say we're going to change
to the Dawlish super snow tractor?
1096
01:24:54,496 --> 01:24:57,665
Exactly. A good soldier always
has something in reserve.
1097
01:24:57,749 --> 01:24:59,584
Exactly. That's what I always say, sir.
1098
01:24:59,667 --> 01:25:01,795
What do you always say, Barrington?
1099
01:25:01,878 --> 01:25:06,216
- Whatever it was you said, sir.
- Oh, that. Yes. Yes. Good thinking.
1100
01:25:16,935 --> 01:25:18,686
Not so fast. Not so fast.
1101
01:25:18,770 --> 01:25:20,438
I know, I know.
1102
01:25:20,522 --> 01:25:22,732
But we've got to make up time.
1103
01:25:24,192 --> 01:25:26,361
Bravo! Bravo!
1104
01:25:26,444 --> 01:25:27,987
Look out. Look out.
1105
01:25:28,071 --> 01:25:29,280
Bravo!
1106
01:25:35,829 --> 01:25:38,248
Marcello, are we not dead?
1107
01:25:38,331 --> 01:25:39,415
Come on.
1108
01:25:39,499 --> 01:25:41,918
- The car. Quick, quick.
- Push.
1109
01:25:42,001 --> 01:25:44,712
Quick, everybody. Get us back on the road.
1110
01:25:44,796 --> 01:25:46,005
The car.
1111
01:25:50,343 --> 01:25:52,720
- Can't you go any faster?
- Are we still behind time?
1112
01:25:52,804 --> 01:25:53,805
Yes.
1113
01:25:54,931 --> 01:25:56,850
- One, two.
- Look out.
1114
01:26:02,397 --> 01:26:04,691
Look out!
1115
01:26:04,774 --> 01:26:06,651
It isn't fair!
1116
01:26:08,695 --> 01:26:10,673
- Come on. Come on, help us.
- Give us a hand. Come on.
1117
01:26:10,697 --> 01:26:12,991
- Everybody, push! Push the car.
- Push the car.
1118
01:26:13,074 --> 01:26:14,993
Push. Come on.
1119
01:26:16,202 --> 01:26:17,912
- Three.
- Push!
1120
01:26:38,016 --> 01:26:40,643
Are we not going too fast, Willi?
1121
01:26:40,727 --> 01:26:45,481
His Excellency has definitely saying
we have to finish in 26th position.
1122
01:26:45,565 --> 01:26:48,443
Who is caring
what His Excellency is saying?
1123
01:26:48,526 --> 01:26:52,280
We are Germans,
and there's only one place for a German.
1124
01:26:52,363 --> 01:26:53,698
That's first!
1125
01:26:57,785 --> 01:27:00,914
- Oh, dear. What has happened?
- We were going too fast, Willi.
1126
01:27:07,212 --> 01:27:08,504
Get the tire.
1127
01:27:40,203 --> 01:27:42,705
Is it the one with the stuff?
1128
01:27:54,717 --> 01:27:56,344
Full of jewels.
1129
01:27:58,054 --> 01:28:00,223
All taped to the inside.
1130
01:28:00,306 --> 01:28:03,726
If His Excellency has taken all this
trouble to get it to Monte Carlo,
1131
01:28:03,810 --> 01:28:06,562
it must be worth many, many rubles.
1132
01:28:06,646 --> 01:28:09,482
- Why don't we keep it for ourselves, huh?
- Nein.
1133
01:28:10,566 --> 01:28:12,568
His Excellency is too powerful.
1134
01:28:12,652 --> 01:28:14,153
He has eyes everywhere.
1135
01:28:14,904 --> 01:28:16,489
Do you think so?
1136
01:28:16,572 --> 01:28:18,408
You are a stupid man to believe that.
1137
01:28:21,286 --> 01:28:23,705
Why don't we make for Switzerland, huh?
1138
01:28:23,788 --> 01:28:26,141
- They never would find us there.
- They will trace the car.
1139
01:28:26,165 --> 01:28:27,792
Then we go by foot!
1140
01:28:27,875 --> 01:28:29,877
Then we go by foot.
1141
01:28:31,963 --> 01:28:32,964
Willi.
1142
01:28:34,048 --> 01:28:35,049
Willi!
1143
01:28:39,012 --> 01:28:40,054
What's that?
1144
01:28:44,892 --> 01:28:46,311
The signal.
1145
01:28:46,394 --> 01:28:47,895
Come, come.
1146
01:28:47,979 --> 01:28:49,689
- Come, come, come.
- We have...
1147
01:28:49,772 --> 01:28:53,192
On to Monte Carlo! The 26th position!
1148
01:28:53,276 --> 01:28:56,988
- How did he find us?
- He must have been following us all the way.
1149
01:28:57,071 --> 01:28:59,699
D-D-D-Don't shoot, Excellency.
1150
01:28:59,782 --> 01:29:02,327
We are only having a little joke.
1151
01:29:02,410 --> 01:29:06,622
Now we are changing the wheel.
I don't want to be thrown into the lake.
1152
01:29:07,832 --> 01:29:11,085
- Otto. Help me before they kill us.
- I can't go any faster.
1153
01:29:11,169 --> 01:29:14,505
You'll get us both shot.
I wish I was back in my little cell.
1154
01:29:14,589 --> 01:29:16,466
I wish I was in my cell too.
1155
01:29:16,549 --> 01:29:19,594
- Hurry, Otto! Hurry!
- What about the other tire?
1156
01:29:19,677 --> 01:29:22,472
Leave it, leave it!
We've got to get out of here!
1157
01:29:38,446 --> 01:29:40,156
Chester, you've got to stop.
1158
01:29:40,239 --> 01:29:43,868
I can't. I've got to beat Sir Armitage.
1159
01:29:51,626 --> 01:29:53,544
Are you all right, Chester?
1160
01:29:53,628 --> 01:29:56,047
Chester? Chester, wake up.
1161
01:29:56,839 --> 01:29:58,841
Oh, Chester, I love you.
1162
01:29:59,384 --> 01:30:01,469
Oh, Chester, I love you!
1163
01:30:05,765 --> 01:30:07,934
I'm sorry, Chester.
1164
01:30:08,017 --> 01:30:10,311
Well, if only I could drive.
1165
01:30:10,395 --> 01:30:14,607
It can't be as difficult as all that.
I mean, so many people do these days.
1166
01:30:14,690 --> 01:30:16,317
Even Grandpapa.
1167
01:30:18,444 --> 01:30:20,405
If he can, I jolly well can too.
1168
01:30:23,449 --> 01:30:24,951
Come on, Chester.
1169
01:30:25,034 --> 01:30:26,828
Over to this side.
1170
01:30:26,911 --> 01:30:29,622
Now, you have a good sleep,
and I'll take over.
1171
01:30:39,173 --> 01:30:40,591
Now then.
1172
01:30:41,634 --> 01:30:43,636
Oh, dear. What have I forgotten?
1173
01:30:43,719 --> 01:30:46,973
Ah, yes. The joystick.
1174
01:30:49,934 --> 01:30:52,311
Well, the brake, the brake.
1175
01:30:52,395 --> 01:30:54,730
Ah, yes, there's the brake.
Let her launch.
1176
01:30:56,274 --> 01:30:58,443
Oh, that is better.
1177
01:31:04,323 --> 01:31:07,452
Nothing to this. Absolutely nothing to it.
1178
01:31:18,087 --> 01:31:20,506
- Do you know how I got this idea, Barrington?
- No, sir.
1179
01:31:20,590 --> 01:31:24,510
I was playing tennis in Pondicherry.
Serving, actually.
1180
01:31:24,594 --> 01:31:26,554
And I suddenly got the idea
1181
01:31:26,637 --> 01:31:30,933
that if these Eskimos can wear tennis
rackets on their feet instead of snowshoes,
1182
01:31:31,017 --> 01:31:34,729
why shouldn't I put skis on my car
instead of wheels?
1183
01:31:34,812 --> 01:31:37,023
You're an absolute genius, sir.
1184
01:31:37,106 --> 01:31:39,233
Yes, I suppose I am.
1185
01:31:50,244 --> 01:31:52,288
Chester? Chester?
1186
01:31:59,420 --> 01:32:01,047
I've done a silly thing!
1187
01:32:01,130 --> 01:32:02,715
Can't find the brake, Chester.
1188
01:32:03,758 --> 01:32:05,468
Watch out!
1189
01:32:25,780 --> 01:32:27,615
What's the matter, Perkins?
Is anything wrong?
1190
01:32:27,698 --> 01:32:29,450
Look at that.
1191
01:32:31,369 --> 01:32:33,162
I see. Well done, Betty.
1192
01:32:33,246 --> 01:32:36,874
You'll never get out of that.
Shake hands with the winner, Perkins.
1193
01:32:38,251 --> 01:32:40,378
Where do you think you're going?
1194
01:32:40,461 --> 01:32:43,256
I'm gonna climb up there and help them.
1195
01:32:43,339 --> 01:32:45,925
- What, in your galoshes?
- Yes!
1196
01:32:46,008 --> 01:32:47,718
Don't be so bloody noble.
1197
01:32:47,802 --> 01:32:49,845
It's the only decent thing to do.
1198
01:32:50,513 --> 01:32:53,140
Look, Perkins, any more
of that Scott of the Antarctic bosh,
1199
01:32:53,224 --> 01:32:55,142
and I'll climb up there
and give them a push.
1200
01:33:03,776 --> 01:33:05,903
Chester. Chester!
1201
01:33:05,987 --> 01:33:08,197
- Chester, wake up!
- Yeah?
1202
01:33:08,281 --> 01:33:10,199
Yes. What is it?
1203
01:33:10,283 --> 01:33:11,784
What?
1204
01:33:14,287 --> 01:33:16,080
Oh, relax.
1205
01:33:16,163 --> 01:33:18,499
I'll... I'll take a look.
1206
01:33:20,001 --> 01:33:23,170
Well, it, um,
1207
01:33:23,254 --> 01:33:26,674
can't really be as, um, bad as all that.
1208
01:33:28,884 --> 01:33:31,095
Betty!
1209
01:33:32,263 --> 01:33:34,432
Betty! Can you hear me?
1210
01:33:35,308 --> 01:33:36,350
Chester!
1211
01:33:36,434 --> 01:33:39,103
Betty, move to the back of the car.
1212
01:33:39,687 --> 01:33:42,356
I can't. I'm too frightened.
1213
01:33:42,440 --> 01:33:43,733
Betty!
1214
01:33:43,816 --> 01:33:45,776
- I can't.
- Betty.
1215
01:33:45,860 --> 01:33:48,738
Get to the back of the car,
1216
01:33:48,821 --> 01:33:51,490
or we'll end up down there.
1217
01:33:53,242 --> 01:33:55,202
All right then.
1218
01:33:55,286 --> 01:33:57,913
Careful! Don't rock it.
1219
01:33:59,832 --> 01:34:03,002
Betty, we're too young to die! Betty?
1220
01:34:03,085 --> 01:34:04,962
Chester, I'm stuck.
1221
01:34:06,130 --> 01:34:08,549
Betty, go get some help.
1222
01:34:08,633 --> 01:34:11,969
Well, how can I?
I don't know anyone around here.
1223
01:34:12,053 --> 01:34:13,429
Betty!
1224
01:34:14,430 --> 01:34:17,933
- Betty, up! Do as I tell you!
- I'm trying to get up.
1225
01:34:19,810 --> 01:34:22,313
I can't hold on much longer.
1226
01:34:28,569 --> 01:34:30,154
Help!
1227
01:34:37,411 --> 01:34:39,705
I say, sir, um,
don't think I'm imagining things,
1228
01:34:39,789 --> 01:34:41,874
but that lady looks
as though she needs help.
1229
01:34:41,957 --> 01:34:43,637
By Jove, I think you're right, Barrington.
1230
01:34:45,753 --> 01:34:48,297
A damsel in distress.
1231
01:34:48,381 --> 01:34:49,548
Help!
1232
01:34:49,632 --> 01:34:51,175
And British too.
1233
01:34:51,258 --> 01:34:52,593
People.
1234
01:34:52,677 --> 01:34:54,303
- Help!
- Go on, Barrington.
1235
01:34:54,387 --> 01:34:55,971
Get a move on.
1236
01:34:57,807 --> 01:35:00,434
- Betty!
- Hang on, sir. Nothing to worry about.
1237
01:35:00,518 --> 01:35:02,019
The army's here.
1238
01:35:02,103 --> 01:35:04,480
I'd come down the north face,
if I were you, Barrington.
1239
01:35:04,563 --> 01:35:05,773
- Right.
- Might be easier.
1240
01:35:05,856 --> 01:35:08,859
I'll look out for the little lady.
Now, then absolute...
1241
01:35:08,943 --> 01:35:10,403
- Get on, Barrington.
- Right, sir.
1242
01:35:10,486 --> 01:35:11,862
Absolutely nothing to worry about.
1243
01:35:12,947 --> 01:35:15,342
- Sir? Are you all right?
- Nothing to worry about. Just very still.
1244
01:35:15,366 --> 01:35:17,243
I'm trying.
1245
01:35:17,326 --> 01:35:19,537
- May I introduce myself?
- Yes.
1246
01:35:19,620 --> 01:35:23,165
Kit Barrington, 16th Lancers.
1247
01:35:23,249 --> 01:35:26,127
Chester Schofield, 13 Rivington Street.
1248
01:35:26,210 --> 01:35:29,755
Fantastic. Well, we'll soon
have you out of this, sir.
1249
01:35:29,839 --> 01:35:33,259
Well, please hurry
because I'm beginning to fall asleep.
1250
01:35:33,342 --> 01:35:34,719
Waky, waky!
1251
01:35:34,802 --> 01:35:36,262
Waky, waky!
1252
01:35:36,345 --> 01:35:38,222
Let me get ahold of my knife.
1253
01:35:41,225 --> 01:35:42,560
Just a moment.
1254
01:35:46,856 --> 01:35:49,066
Come along, Barrington. Don't dawdle.
1255
01:35:49,775 --> 01:35:51,360
Well done.
1256
01:35:51,444 --> 01:35:53,863
- Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- Oh, Chester!
1257
01:35:53,946 --> 01:35:56,657
I say, Barrington, this gives us
a first-class opportunity
1258
01:35:56,741 --> 01:35:58,743
to test out the Dawlish tow rope.
1259
01:35:58,826 --> 01:36:01,203
Oh, wiz-wiz, sir!
1260
01:36:01,287 --> 01:36:03,038
- Dawlish.
- Schofield.
1261
01:36:06,250 --> 01:36:08,919
Now, the fascinating thing
about this rope of mine
1262
01:36:09,003 --> 01:36:11,213
is that it's made of the finest Indian hemp
1263
01:36:11,297 --> 01:36:13,507
by a special process known only to myself
1264
01:36:13,591 --> 01:36:16,719
and a little Indian guru friend of mine,
C.J. Pajapettle, Bombay.
1265
01:36:16,802 --> 01:36:18,929
Come on, Barrington. Get a move on.
1266
01:36:19,013 --> 01:36:21,098
Here we are, sir.
1267
01:36:21,182 --> 01:36:22,683
Catch hold.
1268
01:36:23,851 --> 01:36:24,935
Careful.
1269
01:36:28,481 --> 01:36:32,193
- There's been an accident.
- Quick. Make a right. Hurry.
1270
01:36:32,276 --> 01:36:33,861
Put your seat back.
1271
01:36:35,279 --> 01:36:37,656
Is anyone hurt? Do you need help?
1272
01:36:38,491 --> 01:36:40,785
- Chester does.
- Everything safely attached, Barrington?
1273
01:36:40,868 --> 01:36:42,369
Chester, wake up.
1274
01:36:43,287 --> 01:36:45,748
Chester? Now, you just wake up, Chester.
1275
01:36:45,831 --> 01:36:48,167
I woke up. I feel swell.
1276
01:36:52,713 --> 01:36:54,340
- I really feel swell.
- Chester.
1277
01:36:54,423 --> 01:36:55,674
You got my glasses, dear?
1278
01:36:55,758 --> 01:36:58,677
- I am a doctor.
- Terrific.
1279
01:36:58,761 --> 01:37:01,013
- I don't think you are well.
- No?
1280
01:37:03,015 --> 01:37:05,434
- Do you really want to go on?
- I must. I must.
1281
01:37:05,518 --> 01:37:07,353
- Yes, he must.
- Come with me then.
1282
01:37:07,436 --> 01:37:09,647
- Swell.
- What happened?
1283
01:37:09,730 --> 01:37:11,440
- You see, I was dri...
- What happened?
1284
01:37:11,524 --> 01:37:13,359
- Are you quite sure she's a doctor?
- Slack.
1285
01:37:13,442 --> 01:37:15,236
Slack being taken up, sir.
1286
01:37:20,658 --> 01:37:22,868
Steady as you go.
1287
01:37:22,952 --> 01:37:24,453
Steady there.
1288
01:37:28,999 --> 01:37:31,126
It's stretching, sir.
1289
01:37:31,210 --> 01:37:35,047
Yes. I don't think this is quite
what C.J. Pajapettle had in mind.
1290
01:37:35,840 --> 01:37:38,509
- Look out, sir!
- She's after me!
1291
01:37:38,592 --> 01:37:40,386
Keep out of the way!
1292
01:37:46,225 --> 01:37:48,143
It's not exactly
what I had in mind either.
1293
01:37:48,227 --> 01:37:50,312
It wouldn't stop once it started.
1294
01:37:50,396 --> 01:37:52,940
- Much damage?
- Not really, sir.
1295
01:37:53,023 --> 01:37:54,316
Oh, dear.
1296
01:37:54,400 --> 01:37:57,045
Well, it seems to have done the trick,
in any case. Good old Pajapettle.
1297
01:37:57,069 --> 01:38:00,906
These are something very new,
and normally I would not prescribe them.
1298
01:38:00,990 --> 01:38:04,201
They'll clear your head
and keep you going for 24 hours.
1299
01:38:04,285 --> 01:38:07,162
- After that, well, there will be a reaction.
- Terrif.
1300
01:38:07,246 --> 01:38:09,999
You'll sleep and sleep and sleep.
1301
01:38:10,082 --> 01:38:12,209
- Here.
- I say!
1302
01:38:12,293 --> 01:38:14,461
What about giving us a hand?
1303
01:38:14,545 --> 01:38:15,921
I feel better already.
1304
01:38:16,005 --> 01:38:17,548
Come along now. Lend a hand.
1305
01:38:17,631 --> 01:38:19,466
Terrif, Doc. Thanks. Come on.
1306
01:38:19,550 --> 01:38:21,468
Always happy to help a fellow competitor.
1307
01:38:21,552 --> 01:38:25,347
You get in there, where you can steer.
You, madam, you'll be there.
1308
01:38:25,431 --> 01:38:27,850
You'll be there and I'll be here.
1309
01:38:28,851 --> 01:38:31,270
You're not trying, women.
1310
01:38:37,526 --> 01:38:41,071
- Don't let them get away with it. Come on.
- Come on, Betty. Let's go.
1311
01:38:45,242 --> 01:38:47,119
Bye!
1312
01:38:50,998 --> 01:38:53,000
- Trouble, Barrington?
- The starter's stuck, sir.
1313
01:38:53,083 --> 01:38:56,337
- I'm afraid the mixture's too rich.
- Suppose we'll have to push the damn thing.
1314
01:38:56,420 --> 01:38:57,713
Sir.
1315
01:38:58,756 --> 01:39:00,382
- Ready?
- Sir.
1316
01:39:01,425 --> 01:39:03,469
- Push!
- Sir.
1317
01:39:03,552 --> 01:39:05,554
There we go.
1318
01:39:07,056 --> 01:39:11,852
- Nearly run over me, sir.
- Nearly run over me, Barrington.
1319
01:39:20,277 --> 01:39:22,446
Right, Barrington. Put her in gear.
1320
01:39:22,529 --> 01:39:24,740
- Sir.
- Let out the clutch.
1321
01:39:26,116 --> 01:39:30,037
- Engine still won't start, sir.
- Stop the car then.
1322
01:39:32,122 --> 01:39:34,583
- I can't, sir.
- This won't do at all.
1323
01:39:34,667 --> 01:39:36,877
- Put on the brake.
- I am, sir.
1324
01:39:36,961 --> 01:39:39,505
- Put her in reverse.
- I have, sir.
1325
01:39:39,588 --> 01:39:42,716
- Then start saying your prayers.
- I am, sir!
1326
01:39:54,311 --> 01:39:57,064
This is what comes
of doing someone a good turn.
1327
01:39:58,148 --> 01:40:00,818
Land... there.
1328
01:40:19,253 --> 01:40:21,547
It must have been a blockage
in the fuel feed, sir.
1329
01:40:21,630 --> 01:40:24,550
Just as I thought.
It needed a good bang to clear it.
1330
01:40:24,633 --> 01:40:26,010
Let's get going.
1331
01:40:43,819 --> 01:40:47,489
We hear 'em sigh and hope to die
We see him wink the other eye
1332
01:40:47,573 --> 01:40:50,909
The man who won the race to Monte Carlo
1333
01:41:02,796 --> 01:41:04,840
Monsieur Dupont. Monsieur Dupont.
1334
01:41:04,923 --> 01:41:06,425
Yes?
1335
01:41:09,636 --> 01:41:13,515
We've just got news
of Sir Cuthbert Ware-Armitage.
1336
01:41:14,349 --> 01:41:17,686
He will shortly arrive at Monte Carlo.
1337
01:41:19,646 --> 01:41:22,691
Yes, but this does not mean
he's the winner.
1338
01:41:22,775 --> 01:41:26,695
Now, this year there has been
so much confusion, irregularities
1339
01:41:26,779 --> 01:41:28,739
and so much snow
1340
01:41:28,822 --> 01:41:32,951
that we really do not know where we are.
1341
01:41:33,035 --> 01:41:34,661
But one thing is clear.
1342
01:41:34,745 --> 01:41:36,997
At least 28 competitors
1343
01:41:37,081 --> 01:41:39,291
will be running neck-and-neck
1344
01:41:39,374 --> 01:41:41,001
for the first prize.
1345
01:41:41,085 --> 01:41:42,965
Does that mean the ladies' team
has got through?
1346
01:41:43,045 --> 01:41:45,047
Yes, it does.
1347
01:41:45,130 --> 01:41:46,965
- I beg your pardon.
- Yes!
1348
01:41:47,049 --> 01:41:48,675
- Oh, no.
- Jolly good.
1349
01:41:49,635 --> 01:41:51,345
Jolly good.
1350
01:41:52,429 --> 01:41:55,307
Tomorrow morning,
there will be a time trial
1351
01:41:55,390 --> 01:41:57,518
around the Grand Cornice.
1352
01:41:59,228 --> 01:42:00,354
Thank you.
1353
01:42:00,437 --> 01:42:03,440
And the team which makes the fastest time
1354
01:42:03,524 --> 01:42:06,360
will probably be awarded the trophy.
1355
01:42:06,443 --> 01:42:09,113
Does that mean the ladies
may be the winners then?
1356
01:42:09,196 --> 01:42:10,572
I hope not.
1357
01:42:10,656 --> 01:42:14,159
- May I quote that?
- No, you may not, monsieur.
1358
01:42:14,243 --> 01:42:16,870
Mademoiselle, if you don't mind.
1359
01:42:16,954 --> 01:42:19,164
Why don't you get a decent car?
1360
01:42:19,248 --> 01:42:21,125
Look out!
1361
01:42:21,208 --> 01:42:23,502
Not fair!
1362
01:42:25,587 --> 01:42:27,881
Look. Monte Carlo!
1363
01:42:31,009 --> 01:42:33,470
Only 42 kilometers, and we've made it!
1364
01:42:51,238 --> 01:42:53,198
There's been an accident.
1365
01:42:56,994 --> 01:42:58,537
Terrible!
1366
01:42:58,620 --> 01:43:00,789
My bag. Quickly. What happened?
1367
01:43:03,250 --> 01:43:05,002
Come on. Come on.
1368
01:43:12,342 --> 01:43:14,678
Careful! I am a doctor. Leave them to me.
1369
01:43:14,761 --> 01:43:16,388
Attend to him.
1370
01:43:16,471 --> 01:43:18,473
Dominique, help me.
1371
01:43:19,683 --> 01:43:21,310
This one.
1372
01:43:21,393 --> 01:43:23,187
I take him.
1373
01:43:26,398 --> 01:43:28,483
Stop. Stop!
1374
01:43:34,573 --> 01:43:36,074
There!
1375
01:43:36,783 --> 01:43:38,952
Marie-Claude, are you all right?
1376
01:43:39,786 --> 01:43:42,873
- Is there anything we can do to help?
- Yes. Get an ambulance.
1377
01:43:42,956 --> 01:43:44,958
- My mother's already gone for one.
- Good.
1378
01:43:45,042 --> 01:43:49,755
Then you had better get back into the rally.
There is no point in all of us being out of it.
1379
01:43:49,838 --> 01:43:52,966
But you can't give up now.
We are inside Monte Carlo.
1380
01:43:53,050 --> 01:43:55,302
I am a doctor.
My friends are medical students.
1381
01:43:55,385 --> 01:43:57,596
For us, duty comes first.
1382
01:43:58,639 --> 01:44:02,851
If we win, we will tell everybody
that you would have beaten us.
1383
01:44:02,935 --> 01:44:06,396
And what is more important,
you will know it yourselves.
1384
01:44:08,148 --> 01:44:10,234
So we will not only win for Italia.
1385
01:44:11,818 --> 01:44:14,029
We shall also win for you.
1386
01:44:15,822 --> 01:44:17,241
- Come, Marcello.
- Yes.
1387
01:44:17,324 --> 01:44:21,161
We still have time to show everybody
what Romans can do!
1388
01:44:22,204 --> 01:44:23,455
Angelo.
1389
01:44:43,475 --> 01:44:45,686
Well done.
You're well up amongst the leaders.
1390
01:44:46,603 --> 01:44:48,313
That's a good German car.
1391
01:44:48,397 --> 01:44:52,192
A good German driver
back from the Argentine. Ja, Willi?
1392
01:44:52,276 --> 01:44:55,737
If you can win the time test tomorrow,
you could win the trophy.
1393
01:44:55,821 --> 01:44:58,490
- The race?
- Yes.
1394
01:44:58,573 --> 01:45:00,617
I could, but I can't.
1395
01:45:00,701 --> 01:45:03,328
We have to keep the 26th position.
1396
01:45:09,376 --> 01:45:10,816
- Oh, look at that.
- It's the count.
1397
01:45:10,877 --> 01:45:13,005
- He's come to get us.
- How did he get here?
1398
01:45:19,803 --> 01:45:22,306
I don't believe it. It's a trick.
1399
01:45:22,389 --> 01:45:24,516
No, he's in chains. Look.
1400
01:45:27,811 --> 01:45:30,814
Well, uh, just push it in that direction.
1401
01:45:34,192 --> 01:45:35,736
What are we going to do, Willi?
1402
01:45:35,819 --> 01:45:40,157
We will be arrested and sent back to prison
as sure as God made little apple strudels.
1403
01:45:41,616 --> 01:45:44,411
To hell with the 26th position!
1404
01:45:44,494 --> 01:45:47,581
I'm going to win the speed test
and the Monte Carlo Rally.
1405
01:45:47,664 --> 01:45:51,084
Then, Otto, I go back to my prison
a happy fellow.
1406
01:45:53,086 --> 01:45:55,964
And I go back to my prison
a happy fellow too.
1407
01:46:06,641 --> 01:46:08,268
Thank you, monsieur.
1408
01:46:08,352 --> 01:46:11,355
- Perkins, where have you been?
- I was just having a bath, sir.
1409
01:46:11,438 --> 01:46:14,232
- Might wash the car.
- What do you want?
1410
01:46:17,861 --> 01:46:20,739
If they don't cheat us of any more points,
1411
01:46:20,822 --> 01:46:22,532
we'll have this rally in the bag.
1412
01:46:22,616 --> 01:46:24,910
- Yes.
- The only thing that'll count against us
1413
01:46:24,993 --> 01:46:26,620
is that wheel we lost.
1414
01:46:26,703 --> 01:46:28,330
Ho-ho. Bad luck, sir.
1415
01:46:28,413 --> 01:46:31,041
Luck doesn't come into it.
We've got to get another one.
1416
01:46:31,124 --> 01:46:33,960
Where are you going to get another tire
at this time of night?
1417
01:46:34,044 --> 01:46:36,755
Well, Perkins, I'm not. You are.
1418
01:46:36,838 --> 01:46:37,839
Me?
1419
01:46:40,300 --> 01:46:43,470
This chap's got more tires than he needs.
He won't miss one.
1420
01:46:43,553 --> 01:46:46,473
But that's... that's stealing.
1421
01:46:46,556 --> 01:46:47,933
- Is it?
- Yeah.
1422
01:46:48,016 --> 01:46:50,644
Don't be so technical. Go on, get 'em.
1423
01:47:14,251 --> 01:47:16,420
Help! Sir Cuthbert! Help!
1424
01:47:16,503 --> 01:47:19,214
Sir Cuthbert! Help!
1425
01:47:23,760 --> 01:47:26,555
Perkins, what the hell are you playing at?
1426
01:47:26,638 --> 01:47:28,974
- I'm stuck, aren't I?
- What?
1427
01:47:29,057 --> 01:47:31,101
- Yeah.
- Stuck. Help me.
1428
01:47:32,018 --> 01:47:33,728
Look, hang on.
1429
01:47:37,399 --> 01:47:38,859
- Hold still.
- Yes, sir.
1430
01:47:49,536 --> 01:47:51,037
Good night.
1431
01:48:08,555 --> 01:48:10,056
Oh, Betty?
1432
01:48:10,140 --> 01:48:12,267
Betty, I feel... feel terrific.
1433
01:48:12,350 --> 01:48:14,728
I feel like dancing.
It must be the pill, you know?
1434
01:48:14,811 --> 01:48:16,813
That's what it is. It must be the pill.
1435
01:48:16,897 --> 01:48:18,815
I feel like a cool million.
1436
01:48:20,317 --> 01:48:22,444
I feel like tuppence ha'penny.
1437
01:48:22,527 --> 01:48:24,821
What's the matter?
Did I do something wrong?
1438
01:48:25,780 --> 01:48:27,616
- I did.
- But what'd you do?
1439
01:48:27,699 --> 01:48:30,410
- Now, Chester, listen.
- What?
1440
01:48:31,495 --> 01:48:34,664
When I picked you up in Yorkshire...
"You! Laddie!" Remember?
1441
01:48:34,748 --> 01:48:37,626
- Yes, right. I remember.
- It wasn't an accident.
1442
01:48:37,709 --> 01:48:39,294
Well, I know that.
1443
01:48:39,377 --> 01:48:41,421
Sir Cutty put you up to it, right?
I knew that.
1444
01:48:41,505 --> 01:48:43,465
See, I was supposed to do
a dreadful thing to you.
1445
01:48:43,548 --> 01:48:46,668
I was supposed to get you out of the rally
and take you back to Bardsley Manor.
1446
01:48:46,718 --> 01:48:49,429
So that I could have tea
with you and your granddaddy, right?
1447
01:48:49,513 --> 01:48:52,140
Well, I know that, and I really don't care.
1448
01:48:53,225 --> 01:48:54,893
- You don't care?
- No.
1449
01:48:54,976 --> 01:48:57,229
Not even if I tell you that I had to...
1450
01:48:57,312 --> 01:48:59,523
I had to borrow money from him in Paris.
1451
01:48:59,606 --> 01:49:01,691
You can't like me.
1452
01:49:01,775 --> 01:49:06,738
Well, of course I like you.
I do and, uh, and I really don't care.
1453
01:49:06,821 --> 01:49:09,449
- As a matter of fact, I'll tell you something.
- What?
1454
01:49:09,533 --> 01:49:11,368
You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow?
1455
01:49:11,451 --> 01:49:15,747
I'm gonna go out on that track and grind
Sir Cutty's face right into the ground.
1456
01:49:15,830 --> 01:49:17,999
And when I'm finished... finished,
1457
01:49:18,083 --> 01:49:19,960
I'm gonna come back here,
1458
01:49:20,043 --> 01:49:22,212
take off my handkerchief,
1459
01:49:22,295 --> 01:49:23,922
put it on the ground,
1460
01:49:24,005 --> 01:49:25,632
get on my right knee...
1461
01:49:26,883 --> 01:49:29,636
take your hand and say...
1462
01:49:29,719 --> 01:49:31,137
Yes?
1463
01:49:53,159 --> 01:49:54,661
Perkins!
1464
01:50:10,802 --> 01:50:12,846
Go! Go!
1465
01:50:12,929 --> 01:50:15,473
Get out of here! Go!
1466
01:50:15,557 --> 01:50:17,601
It's time. It's time.
1467
01:50:17,684 --> 01:50:19,227
Oh, yes, indeed.
1468
01:50:19,311 --> 01:50:21,855
Time to go now. Well?
1469
01:50:21,938 --> 01:50:23,857
Get set.
1470
01:50:26,234 --> 01:50:27,986
Everybody's ready?
1471
01:50:29,237 --> 01:50:30,739
Go!
1472
01:50:34,618 --> 01:50:36,786
Don't go yet. Don't go yet.
1473
01:50:39,623 --> 01:50:42,042
It is all right. All right.
1474
01:50:42,125 --> 01:50:43,335
This time...
1475
01:50:47,380 --> 01:50:49,883
You again!
1476
01:51:02,854 --> 01:51:04,147
Next one.
1477
01:51:07,859 --> 01:51:09,861
You want to change caps for luck?
1478
01:51:09,944 --> 01:51:12,906
A bit of Nuvolari
and a bit of Malcolm Campbell.
1479
01:51:17,160 --> 01:51:19,496
And to hell with the
maresciallo's daughter!
1480
01:51:33,385 --> 01:51:35,220
Next one.
1481
01:51:36,096 --> 01:51:37,263
Good luck!
1482
01:51:40,183 --> 01:51:41,393
Next.
1483
01:51:42,977 --> 01:51:44,979
Ah, the big moment has arrived, Otto.
1484
01:51:45,063 --> 01:51:47,816
You mustn't be worried
if I take a few chances.
1485
01:51:47,899 --> 01:51:50,068
- You are the driver.
- Horst Muller.
1486
01:51:50,151 --> 01:51:51,319
Just a moment.
1487
01:51:51,403 --> 01:51:53,530
- Now, Horst Muller.
- Huh?
1488
01:51:53,613 --> 01:51:55,824
I've caught you just in time.
1489
01:51:55,907 --> 01:51:59,285
Last night, monsieur,
you dropped your passport.
1490
01:52:09,129 --> 01:52:10,547
Next one!
1491
01:52:16,803 --> 01:52:20,223
- Tire pressure.
- Twenty-five at the front, 28 at the back, sir.
1492
01:52:20,306 --> 01:52:22,475
- Water temperature.
- Seventy-five, sir.
1493
01:52:22,559 --> 01:52:24,728
- What about the oil?
- Sixty, sir.
1494
01:52:26,438 --> 01:52:27,939
Right.
1495
01:52:28,022 --> 01:52:29,941
Just in case we don't get back,
1496
01:52:30,024 --> 01:52:33,027
I'd like to say it's been great fun,
Barrington.
1497
01:52:33,111 --> 01:52:35,071
Or rather, Kit.
1498
01:52:35,155 --> 01:52:37,449
It's been rip-rip-ripping, sir.
1499
01:52:38,742 --> 01:52:40,326
- Pip-pip.
- Hurry, monsieur.
1500
01:52:40,410 --> 01:52:42,328
- Oh, wiz-wiz, sir.
- Let's go.
1501
01:52:42,412 --> 01:52:43,913
Right.
1502
01:52:47,167 --> 01:52:51,421
Now then, on the command "fire," fire.
Right. Go!
1503
01:53:22,410 --> 01:53:25,121
Anything... Anything go wrong, sir?
1504
01:53:25,205 --> 01:53:27,624
I think the weather was against us.
1505
01:53:27,707 --> 01:53:30,710
Ah, well, back to the Khyber Pass.
1506
01:54:03,117 --> 01:54:04,619
The winner!
1507
01:54:04,702 --> 01:54:07,413
A shame to take the money, eh, Perkins?
1508
01:54:16,673 --> 01:54:18,341
We passed them.
1509
01:54:19,926 --> 01:54:21,427
Just look at his face.
1510
01:54:48,454 --> 01:54:50,373
Get over!
1511
01:54:57,714 --> 01:54:58,715
Zowie!
1512
01:55:14,230 --> 01:55:15,523
Get over!
1513
01:55:21,112 --> 01:55:23,781
We've lost a tire. We...
1514
01:55:30,496 --> 01:55:33,416
- What's that?
- It's a tire from heaven.
1515
01:55:35,501 --> 01:55:37,253
It's full of jewels.
1516
01:55:37,337 --> 01:55:39,380
- They must be stolen.
- No.
1517
01:55:39,464 --> 01:55:41,883
- We've got to do something.
- You crazy?
1518
01:55:41,966 --> 01:55:43,593
We want to win the rally!
1519
01:56:52,537 --> 01:56:54,414
Willi, you are crazy.
1520
01:57:58,561 --> 01:58:01,564
Silence! Silence!
1521
01:58:01,647 --> 01:58:06,110
Sir Cuthbert Ware-Armitage,
55 minutes, 38 seconds.
1522
01:58:08,321 --> 01:58:13,117
Horst Muller, 55 minutes, 39 seconds.
1523
01:58:14,786 --> 01:58:19,290
Angelo Pincelli, 56 minutes.
1524
01:58:20,833 --> 01:58:23,377
It is my prerogative, my privilege
1525
01:58:23,461 --> 01:58:25,838
to present this magnificent
coupe d'honneur
1526
01:58:25,922 --> 01:58:30,134
to the man who, by his resoluteness,
unflagging courage
1527
01:58:30,218 --> 01:58:31,886
and audacious driving,
1528
01:58:31,969 --> 01:58:35,181
he's the winner of this year's
Monte Carlo Rally.
1529
01:58:36,182 --> 01:58:39,477
So, Mr. Cuthbert,
to your health, monsieur.
1530
01:58:44,315 --> 01:58:45,441
So good.
1531
01:58:45,525 --> 01:58:48,236
Is there any chance
of getting my dossier back?
1532
01:58:48,319 --> 01:58:51,072
I suppose I'm a lovable, generous old fool.
Here you are.
1533
01:58:51,155 --> 01:58:52,448
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
1534
01:58:53,908 --> 01:58:56,869
Sir Cuthbert Ware-Armitage?
May I have a word with you?
1535
01:58:56,953 --> 01:58:58,996
Yes, but first of all,
have a little champagne, eh?
1536
01:58:59,080 --> 01:59:00,915
Got to look after the police.
1537
01:59:00,998 --> 01:59:04,377
- Have you ever seen this tire before?
- No. No, of course I haven't.
1538
01:59:04,460 --> 01:59:07,755
Liar. It fell out of your
car into ours. Look.
1539
01:59:07,839 --> 01:59:09,674
I saw it with my own eyes.
1540
01:59:09,757 --> 01:59:13,928
And you will be saying next you did not
know it contained the Romanov jewels.
1541
01:59:14,011 --> 01:59:16,722
Just a minute.
Are you suggesting that I pinched them?
1542
01:59:17,557 --> 01:59:20,768
I think it would be better
if you came along to my headquarters.
1543
01:59:20,852 --> 01:59:22,562
Just one minute.
1544
01:59:22,645 --> 01:59:25,857
I know exactly who stole that tire.
1545
01:59:25,940 --> 01:59:28,818
- Perkins! Perkins!
- Please. Please.
1546
01:59:30,236 --> 01:59:32,446
I saw the tire drop from his car.
1547
01:59:33,364 --> 01:59:36,284
Would you mind telling this officer
where we got that tire?
1548
01:59:36,367 --> 01:59:38,119
Come on. Speak up.
1549
01:59:38,202 --> 01:59:39,495
Come on.
1550
01:59:39,579 --> 01:59:43,332
You see, he's explained that the Romanov
diamonds were hidden in that tire
1551
01:59:43,416 --> 01:59:46,252
and has the effrontery to suggest
that I stole them.
1552
01:59:46,335 --> 01:59:48,713
Would you mind telling him how we got it?
1553
01:59:53,009 --> 01:59:56,721
Well, a chap brought it down from Paris
when we secretly swapped cars.
1554
01:59:56,804 --> 01:59:59,807
Sir Cuthbert paid him 5,000 quid
for that tire.
1555
01:59:59,891 --> 02:00:01,893
I thought it was a bit much at the time.
1556
02:00:01,976 --> 02:00:03,728
You bloody liar!
1557
02:00:04,729 --> 02:00:07,190
- Watch it!
- He's a dangerous criminal.
1558
02:00:07,273 --> 02:00:10,151
Take him away for questioning.
To the police station.
1559
02:00:11,194 --> 02:00:12,737
Never again.
1560
02:00:12,820 --> 02:00:14,322
Good.
1561
02:00:16,282 --> 02:00:18,284
My name is Percy.
1562
02:00:19,911 --> 02:00:23,289
Excuse me. Does that mean all
the other contestants beat Sir Cuthbert?
1563
02:00:23,372 --> 02:00:27,335
Yes, indeed.
So long as they cross the finishing line.
1564
02:00:27,418 --> 02:00:29,378
Oh, I see. Thank you.
1565
02:00:29,462 --> 02:00:32,298
Bring forward the next winner.
1566
02:00:44,810 --> 02:00:48,022
It is my prerogative, my privilege
1567
02:00:48,105 --> 02:00:50,566
to present this coupe d'honneur
1568
02:00:50,650 --> 02:00:53,986
to the man who, by his resoluteness...
1569
02:00:55,029 --> 02:00:57,949
unflagging courage
and audacious driving...
1570
02:01:01,827 --> 02:01:05,039
The rally of this year Monte Carlo winner.
1571
02:01:05,122 --> 02:01:08,292
Horst Muller from the Argentine.
1572
02:01:08,376 --> 02:01:10,419
To your health, monsieur.
1573
02:01:21,555 --> 02:01:24,517
- Auf Wiedersehen, Horst Muller.
- Huh?
1574
02:01:26,560 --> 02:01:29,105
A photo of Willi Schickel.
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
1575
02:01:29,188 --> 02:01:31,190
Photo! Photo!
1576
02:01:34,193 --> 02:01:35,611
How dare you!
1577
02:01:35,695 --> 02:01:38,072
All right, come on, come on, come on.
1578
02:01:38,155 --> 02:01:40,241
Come on, come on, come on!
1579
02:01:40,324 --> 02:01:42,743
Let's bring on the next winners.
1580
02:01:43,661 --> 02:01:45,830
The next winners.
1581
02:01:45,913 --> 02:01:47,915
The Italians!
1582
02:01:51,085 --> 02:01:53,170
The winner!
1583
02:01:57,383 --> 02:02:00,344
You are not likely to be arrested, are you?
1584
02:02:00,428 --> 02:02:01,637
Oh, no.
1585
02:02:08,477 --> 02:02:09,895
Oh, yes, there you are.
1586
02:02:18,529 --> 02:02:19,947
The girls.
1587
02:02:20,990 --> 02:02:22,491
Oh, yes.
1588
02:02:27,830 --> 02:02:30,958
- We said we would win the rally for you.
- And kept our word.
1589
02:02:31,042 --> 02:02:32,460
All hands together.
1590
02:02:32,543 --> 02:02:34,462
Let's drink to us. Yeah?
1591
02:02:34,545 --> 02:02:37,590
Hey, hey, wait. And for the honor
of the Roman police.
1592
02:02:37,673 --> 02:02:38,924
Yes.
1593
02:02:39,008 --> 02:02:40,760
- Look who is here.
- There is another one!
1594
02:02:40,843 --> 02:02:41,927
Oh, look.
1595
02:03:05,868 --> 02:03:07,370
Well, what happened?
1596
02:03:07,453 --> 02:03:10,122
We've done it! We've done it!
We crossed the line!
1597
02:03:10,206 --> 02:03:12,249
Yankee Doodle Dandy! We won, eh?
1598
02:03:12,333 --> 02:03:14,394
- Well, what happened to Sir Cutty?
- We've beaten him.
1599
02:03:14,418 --> 02:03:15,920
- Terrific!
- Yes.
1600
02:03:16,003 --> 02:03:17,838
Now we can get married.
1601
02:03:17,922 --> 02:03:19,590
Zowie!
1602
02:03:19,673 --> 02:03:21,509
He's a good driver.
1603
02:03:28,766 --> 02:03:31,018
Get out the jalopy
1604
02:03:31,102 --> 02:03:33,104
And polish the wheels
1605
02:03:33,187 --> 02:03:36,690
She's gotta be the smartest
of the automobiles
1606
02:03:37,274 --> 02:03:38,943
Polish the paintwork
1607
02:03:39,026 --> 02:03:41,112
And clean off the rust
1608
02:03:41,195 --> 02:03:44,657
They won't see our chassis for dust
1609
02:03:45,199 --> 02:03:49,286
And when we arrive miles ahead of the rest
1610
02:03:49,370 --> 02:03:52,957
Everyone will know that our jalopy is best
1611
02:03:53,040 --> 02:03:54,875
They'll have to admit
1612
02:03:54,959 --> 02:03:57,128
She's a car you can trust
1613
02:03:57,211 --> 02:04:00,214
So it's Monte Carlo or bust
1614
02:04:09,473 --> 02:04:12,893
We're on our way to Monte Carlo
1615
02:04:13,477 --> 02:04:16,856
Although francais we cannot parlons
1616
02:04:17,440 --> 02:04:19,608
We hear the French are very pally
1617
02:04:19,692 --> 02:04:21,694
And we're gonna win the rally
1618
02:04:21,777 --> 02:04:24,947
So we're sure to be the
toast of Monte Carlo
1619
02:04:29,952 --> 02:04:33,831
And when we arrive miles ahead of the rest
1620
02:04:34,623 --> 02:04:38,294
Everyone will know that our jalopy is best
1621
02:04:38,377 --> 02:04:40,087
They'll have to admit
1622
02:04:40,171 --> 02:04:42,131
She's a car you can trust
1623
02:04:42,214 --> 02:04:44,967
So it's Monte Carlo or bust
1624
02:04:45,050 --> 02:04:46,844
My suspension
1625
02:04:46,927 --> 02:04:49,722
Monte Carlo
1626
02:04:49,805 --> 02:04:53,350
Or bust
122883
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