Original subtitles

[Dog barking]

[Wind howling]

[Knocking]

- Who’s thar? - Officer Postlewhistle of the Canadian Mounted.

- Hello, officer. - Good evening, Mr. Snavely.

- Still snowin’? - Don’t know. To tell you the truth, I never looked.

- Did you get your man? - Well, not yet, but I got my eye on ’im.

Well, that’s somethin’.

- You pullin’ out? - Figurin’ on goin’ over the Rim tonight.

How’s your son Chester?

You heared from him lately?

I ain’t a-heared from Chester...

it’ll be a year, come Michaelmas.

I was thinkin’ of the song that you writ about him.

I wanted to sing it to my wife last night.

You know, we got a boy just about Chester’s age...

who’s got a hankerin’ to go to the city.

- Have you got your dulcimer here? - Yes, I have, officer.

I wonder if you would mind singin’ me that song.

I’d be tickled to death.

You’ll have to excuse me, though, if my voice isn’t just right.

You know, we can’t get any ipecac up in this part of the country.

Go right ahead, Mr. Snavely.

You won’t consider me rude if I play with my mitts on, will you?

Not at all, Mr. Snavely. Not at all.

[Tunelessly]

♫ There was once a poor boy ♪

♫ And he left his country home ♪

♫ And he came to the city to look for work ♪

♫ He promised his ma and pa ♪

♫ He would lead a sinless life ♪

♫ And always shun the fatal curse of drink ♪

♫ Once in the city ♪

♫ He got a situation in a quarry ♪

♫ And there he made the acquaintance ♪

♫ Of some college students ♪

♫ He little thought they were demons ♪

♫ For they wore the best of clothes ♪

♫ But good clothes do not always make the gentleman ♪

♫ So they tempted him to drink ♪

♫ And they said he was a coward ♪

♫ Until at last he took The fatal glass of beer ♪

♫ When he found what he’d done ♪

♫ He dashed the glass upon the floor ♪

♫ And he staggered through the door ♪

♫ With delirium tremens ♪

♫ Once upon the sidewalk ♪

♫ He met a Salvation Army girl ♪

♫ And wickedly he broke her tambourine ♪

♫ All she said was “Heaven... ♪

♫ “Heaven bless you” ♪

♫ And placed a mark upon his brow ♪

♫ With a kick she’d learned ♪

♫ Before she had been saved ♪

♫ Now, as a moral to young men ♪

♫ Who come down to the city ♪

♫ Don’t go ’round breaking people’s tambourines ♪

[Sobbing] That certainly is a sad song.

[Weeping uncontrollably]

Don’t cry, constable.

It is a sad song.

My Uncle Ichabod said, speakin’ of the city,

“It ain’t no place for women, gal,

but pretty men go thar.”

[Sobbing]

He always said somethin’ to make you split your sides a-laughin’.

- [Continues sobbing] - Comical old gentleman he was.

Well, I think I’ll be a-hightailin’ it over the Rim.

[Wind howling] - And it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.

[Sobbing quietly]

Otto!

[Barking]

Haw! Gee!

Otto, mush!

Otto! Mush!

Otto!

Mush! Mush!

- Gee! - [Barking]

Otto! Mush!

Mush! Mush!

[Gagging] Tastes more like corn flakes. Mush!

Mush!

Gee!

[Barking, whining]

- [Wind howling] - And it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.

[Bellowing] Hullo-wah!

Hello there!

Hello!

[In normal voice] Hello.

- How, Mr. Snavely? - How, Chief.

- How. - And how.

- Vamoose! - [Both grunting]

- Oom-scray. - [Grunting]

- Lam. - [Grunting]

It ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.

And it’s been a-stormin’ for almost a fort-nit.

- [Woman] Who’s thar? - It’s me, Ma.

Did you find any gold down at the gulf, Pa?

I found that nougat. It be on the table.

A nougat. A golden nougat.

Just what you been a-combin’ them thar hills for for nigh on to 30 years.

It must be worth almost a hundred dollars.

Help to pay off the mortgage on the old shack.

Has that pill from Medicine Hat been here again?

- Yes, and he wants more money. - Rot his hide.

He wants more money, and if he don’t get it, he’ll take our malamute.

- He won’t take old Bozo, my lead dog. - Why not, Pa?

’Cause I ’et him.

You ’et him?

He was mighty good with mustard.

We was a-mushing over Blind Nag Rim last night.

I got mighty hungry.

You better take your mukluks off, Pa.

Captain Pepitone of the Canadian Mounted...

smuggled a police dog across the border for you.

Smuggled a police dog across the border for me?

Yes, and he says for you to keep it under your hat.

- How big is it? - About so high.

He’s crazy.

Pa, it’s just three years today...

since they put our dear son in jail for stealing them thar bonds.

- And I know he never stole ’em. - Sure he never stole ’em.

Our Chester never stole nothin’, from nobody.

Hardly ever.

Do you think he’ll come a-headin’ for home...

when they turn him loose from that plagued jail?

- I reckon, guess and calculate he will, Ma. - [Knocking at door]

Who’s thar?

Chester!

Our son back again!

- My own... - [Scraping]

- Chester, my darling boy! - Chester!

[Wind howling]

And it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.

[Ma crying]

Don’t cry, Ma. We got our son back again, ain’t we?

Welcome home, Chester.

Thank you, Pa.

But I don’t suppose we’ll have him with us long.

Once the city gets into a bo-hoy’s sys-hetem,

he a-loses his hankerin’ for the co-huntry.

- Sit down, Chester. - Thank you, Pa.

- Will you have some soup, Chester? - That’s my soup, Ma.

[Weeping]

Hand me that bread I was dunkin’, will ya?

Thanks.

Dad, I ain’t ever gonna leave the old farm again.

- I’ve come back here to stay with you and Ma,

and I ain’t ever gonna leave again.

[Ma, Chester crying]

[Crying]

It’s so good to see you both again.

And I’m so glad to be back home with you and Ma that I can’t talk.

I’d like to go to my little bedroom...

and lay on the bed and cry like I was a baby again.

[Crying continues]

Thar, thar.

Go to your room and have a good cry, dear.

I know how you feel.

I feel so tired, I think I’ll go to bed.

Why don’t you lie down and take a little rest first, Chester?

- Well, good night, Pa. - Good night, Chester.

- Good night, Ma. - Good night, Chester.

- Sleep well, Chester. - Thank you, Pa. You too.

- Thank you, Chester. - Sleep well, Chester.

- Thank you, Ma. You sleep well. - Thank you.

Don’t forget to open the window a bit, Chester.

- Don’t forget to open yours a bit, Pa. - I won’t, son.

Yes, don’t forget to open your window a bit, Chester.

- Put yours up a bit, too, Ma. - Good night, Chester.

- Good night, Chester. - Good night, Pa.

- Good night. - Good night.

Good night, Chester.

I think I’ll go out and milk the elk.

Don’t forget your moose horn, Pa.

Thank you, Ma.

And it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.

Lena.

Lena, honey. Papa’s calling.

Yoo-hoo! Papa’s calling ya.

- [Blaring] - Lena!

[Blaring]

My old embouchure ain’t what it used to be.

[Short blare]

[Blaring]

Hello, Lena.

Hello, Le— Say, Elmer, have you seen Lena?

Tell her Mr. Snavely wants—

Hello, Le— Certainly a bright moonlight night tonight.

[Yodels, clears throat]

Hello, Lena.

Hey, Lena! It’s me! Come here! Don’t you know me? Mr. Snavely.

Drat her old hide.

Chester, did you steal them bonds?

Yes, Ma, I stole them bonds.

I was a bank messenger, and they caught me fair and square.

I wasn’t framed.

I knowed you stole ’em,

but I never would admit it to your father.

If he thought you stole ’em,

it would break his poor old heart.

Never tell him any different.

- Good night, Chester. - Good night, Ma.

And it ain’t a fit night out...

for man or beast.

Has Chester gone to bed yet, Ma?

I don’t think so, Pa.

- Chester? - Yes, Pa?

- Can I speak to you a minute, son? - Yes, Pa.

Chester,

did you steal them bonds?

I knowed you stole ’em, son,

but I never would admit it to your mother.

She thinks you’re innocent.

You must never tell her any different.

If she thought you stole ’em,

it would break her poor old heart.

Oh, it’s so good to be home, Dad.

I’m gonna stay here now with you and Ma for all time.

Chester, have you any of them bonds on you...

or any of that money?

No, Dad, I ain’t got any of them bonds on me.

And I took that tainted money and threw it away.

And you came back...

to me and mother.

- Yes, Pa. - Hmm.

To sponge on us the rest of your life!

You lug! Get out of here!

Get out...

you tramp, you!

Get out of here!

And it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast.