All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s10e13 Three Girls and a Little Wharfy.eng

LINDA: Kids. Eggs are ready. They're
sunny, runny, and a little funny.

Gene, why aren't you
wearing any clothes?

Because, Father, it's
Pajama Day at school,

and I'm wearing what I slept
in last night, which is nothing.

Oh, Pajama Day. Cozy.

It's Spirit Week at school this week.

Tomorrow's Zany Hair Day.

I might try something really zany.

- Two barrettes.
- Whoa-ho-ho!

Slow down.

Louise, why aren't you in your jammies?

Don't you have the spirits?

Ugh. I'm not really
a Spirit Week person.

Honestly, I think Spirit
Week is just an excuse

for Mr. Frond to high-five everyone.

Yeah. Uh. There you are. All right.

- I love high fives.
- Yeah, you do.

Gene, you can't go to school naked.

- You're gonna have to put on some clothes.
- No.

Yes.

Fine,
but I'm gonna eat my breakfast first.

Oh, no. Oh, that feels nice.

TINA: Jimmy Junior,

- those pajamas are snug.
- Yeah, all of

my pajamas were in the
laundry. These are my old ones.

They keep giving me a wedgie.

They are hiking in the
Grand Canyon, aren't they?

I like wearing jammies to school.

Come on, J-Ju. Let me tuck you in.

- Come on. Oh, yeah.
- Zeke, stop.

Don't let the bedbugs bite.

- (makes biting sounds)
- Ow, Zeke. You're biting me.

Fun pajamas, everyone.

Louise, I see you're not
participating in Spirit Week.

Yeah, I respectfully
say no frickin' way.

Spirit Week isn't just
about pajamas and zany hair.

It's about being a part of something.

- No.
- Joining in.

- No.
- And feeling connected

to your school and a
group of your peers.

- Uh-uh.
- Okay, well, we're just about

to have the Pajama Parade.

Would you rather go to the gym
and paint Spirit Week banners?

You don't have to have spirit
to paint the word "spirit,"

but we do need those
banners, like, yesterday.

- Literally. I forgot.
- That should go on a banner.

Jessica, should've
guessed you'd be here.

You're dispirited.

Sure, yeah, dispirited. Or cool.

- You could just say "cool."
- MEGAN: Hey.

- Hey, Megan.
- Megan.

No pajama party for you today?

Nah. These are my pajamas.
I sleep in my clothes.

Hey, Jessica, I got a bunch
of fried dough in here.

Nice.

You guys having a fun, whispery
conversation about fried dough?

- Oh. It's not for us.
- No. It's for... Wharfy.

Wharfy? You mean the pretend sea monster

they used to try to sell
T-shirts of at Wonder Wharf?

Okay, she's not pretend. She's real.

- She?
- I mean, I assume she's a she.

I don't really know, but
don't those look like boobs?

JESSICA: It's either boobs,
or her butt's on her chest.

Where'd you get this picture from?

Well, I found it on a little
thing called "the Internet."

Okay, first of all, see this pier?

Wharfy hangs out
underneath it. She likes it

because it's where people
accidentally drop their food.

I get it. Food's hard to hold.

Right? That's how I
discovered she was there.

I dropped fried dough into the
ocean, and she gobbled it up.

You saw a sea monster
come out of the water

and eat your fried dough?

Well, not exactly, but
something big sucked it down

in a sea monster type of way.

Yeah, something very big and very sucky.

Jessica, you saw this?

Jessica came with me last week,

and we recreated my original
fried dough experience.

Okay. Megan, I don't know you real well.

I mean, you're in fifth, I'm in fourth,

but you believe all kinds
of crazy stuff, right?

You thought the new
lunch lady was Kathy Bates

dressed in disguise,
studying for a role.

Yeah. I still think she was.

I got a selfie with her just in case.

And you thought number
two pencils are made

out of real number twos.

Why else would you call them that?

If you don't believe us, just
come with us today after school.

Okay, fine. I'll come with
you today to feed Wharfy.

I'm sure there's a total
normal explanation for this,

just like there was when
that lunch lady left school.

Listen, a movie's gonna come out

about a lunch lady starring Kathy Bates

in the next year or
two, and then you'll see.

What's it gonna be called...

Fried Green Tomatoes Two:
The Tomatoes are Back?

Yes! That makes perfect sense.

- Ugh. Megan, Megan, Megan.
- What?

(Teddy sighs deeply)

Everything okay, Teddy?

Eh, my mom called this
morning. Her dog's sick.

- She was really upset about it.
- (Mort laughs)

-Mort? -Mort?
-What the hell, Mort?

You think a sick dog is funny?

- When it's losing it's fur?
- What?

You're laughing at Teddy's
mom's sick dog, and now...

And it has no fur on the whole back end!

All right, hold on, Teddy. Hold on.

Sorry, Teddy. I didn't hear you.

I was watching a video on my phone.

I'm taking a Prominent Professors class.

What's Prominent Professors?

It's a website with a
bunch of video classes

taught by people, you know,
at the top of their field.

"Dancing with Channing.

Learn how to be a real
life Magic Mike." Nice.

- Wait. Can you scroll up?
- Oh, okay.

Oh, my God, that's Michel Du Rocher.

LINDA: Who's Michel Du Shuray?

Michel Du Rocher. He's a chef.

He's amazing. I-I read his book.

I mean, it was a cookbook, and
I skimmed it, but he's great.

- He's teaching a video class?
- Yeah, I guess so.

Hey, if you want to take
it, you can use my log-in.

Really? That'd be
great. Uh, thanks, Mort.

Sure. The login is "The
Thundertaker," all one word.

And my password is
"Urn This." U-R-N this.

- Ugh. - Ugh. Mort.
- What?

- That's dark.
- No.

- Yeesh.
- Not appropriate.

Let's go home. These pajamas
made me tired all day.

Yeah, I'll meet you guys later.

I got to wait for Jessica and Megan,

who are apparently friends now.

Fifth-grade Megan or
seventh-grade Megan?

- Fifth.
- Ooh. The number-two-pencil girl?

I still don't chew my
pencils 'cause of that rumor.

Yeah. So get this. She
said that Wharfy exists.

Wharfy the pretend sea monster?

Yeah. Jessica's getting mixed
up with someone who's mixed up,

and I don't want to let that happen.

That's why I'm going with
them to "feed Wharfy."

We're gonna drop fried
dough in the ocean.

You're dropping fried
dough in the ocean?

You're the monsters.

MEGAN: Okay, this is the spot.

Jessica, would you like
to toss this cookie?

I mean, it's fried dough,
but you know what I mean.

- Okay.
- Oh, Jessica...

- What?
- Nothing. Just...

throw that dough.

(Jessica grunts)

Wow. That's fascinating.

Should we all go home and
be underwhelmed there... ?

ALL: Whoa!

She was hungry today. (clears throat)

What were you saying, uh, Louise?

What were you just saying right before?

I mean, that could've been a big fish

or some kind of weird
water suction hole,

- or...
- Or... Wharfy?

- Or Wharfy.
- No.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- No.
- It's exactly that.

No one freak out, but
I'm wearing two barrettes.

Ooh. Someone's taking
a walk on the wild side.

I hope this isn't too zany
for Zany Hair Day tomorrow.

You'll probably get arrested.

So, speaking of zany, listen to this.

I went to feed Wharfy

with Jessica and Megan this afternoon.

Wharfy the sea monster? That's not real.

No, I know it's not real.

Megan thinks it is,
and Jessica maybe, too.

I-I mean, we saw
something suck down a bunch

of fried dough we
dropped into the water.

Yeah, it was probably just a big fish.

That's what I said.

Or it could've been ? Wharfy. ?

Wouldn't it be fun if we
had a monster in our wharf?

(imitating monster):
Hi. I like your shoes.

Wharfy says "I like your shoes"?

(as Wharfy): Yes, I'm jealous.

(on video): Hello. My
name is Michel Du Rocher.

- (slapping)
- People cook every day,

but they don't understand food.

Lin, can you stop?

I'm trying to listen
to Michel Du Rocher.

I can't, Bob. I need to
moisturize before bed.

I don't want to wake up
looking like a lizard.

Why are you slapping it on?

Because that's how you put on lotion.

I once cooked a meal,
and as I was eating it,

it made me sad.

So I put it in a box,
held a service for it,

and buried it, because
that meal was dead.

- Hmm.
- What?

So much food in the world is dead.

I had an omelet once in Dubai
that nearly destroyed my soul.

I slept for four days after I ate it.

LINDA: Did you press pause
or is he staring at us?

- In our next segment,
- (both) Oh!

We will discuss why I
eat upside down sometimes.

What the hell is he talking about?

I mean, he's, like, a genius.

Food is dead sometimes.

Yeah, food's dead. You kill it,
and then you eat it, right? Food.

Right, but I-I don't
think you're quite getting

what he was talking about.

No, I don't think you get what he means.

- I-I'm gonna watch it again.
- Well, that'll be fun for you.

I'm gonna put lotion
on my feet. (grunts)

- Lin.
- (slapping) Come on, get in.

- Sink in. Sink in.
- Oh, my God.

Do you think my zany hair is too

Nick Nolte's mug shot?

It's the perfect amount
of Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Yeah.

- Hi, Louise. Nice hair.
- Same to you, Jessica.

Hey, guys. I like what you
haven't done with your hair.

- Thank you.
- I gotcha.

So, I looked up the photographer
who took that picture of Wharfy.

Her name's April Buzzby and she
owns a soap shop here in town.

You want to go talk to her after school?

About what... The straight dope on soap?

Louise, you don't have to go,

but we all saw what we saw yesterday.

- I saw my grandmother naked.
- And?

Oh, and Wharfy, yes.

Wait. How did you see
your grandmother naked?

We share a bathroom. She's
not great with towels,

or doors or boundaries.

Wow. Is your grandma my mom?

What can I get you, Teddy?

Garden salad? I'm joking.
I'll have a burger.

- Wow. That was fast.
- Oh. Uh, no, this is for me.

Michel Du Rocher said to sit down alone

and take an hour to eat one single bite.

He said to chew with your mind
and swallow with your heart.

Gross. Teddy, I'll make your burger.

Put the meat on the inside, right?

No, I'm just kidding.
I know how to do it.

TEDDY: So, one bite, huh?

Wow. You got to make that bite count.

Uh, I'm kind of supposed to
just be focused on this, Teddy.

Oh. Okay.

(inhales through nose) Okay.

- (munches)
- Uh, that's your one bite?

Teddy, please.

I'm not talking to you, Bob.

I'm talking about you to myself.

Can you just not talk at all?

Wow. First you wave
the burger in my face,

and now I'm not allowed to talk.

You know what? I'm eating
in the bathroom. Alone.

Now you get to eat in the bathroom, too?

- Serve mine in the bathroom, too, Linda.
- All right.

Welcome to You Do the Bath.

Can I get you in some suds?

- Are you April Buzzby?
- That's me.

Did you take this picture?

I did.

We have a few questions
we'd like to ask.

Girls, that was a lifetime ago.

Now I make and sell savory soaps.

What are savory soaps?

Soaps made out of savory things.

Like meat, cheese, veggies.

Summer Salad is my best
seller. Want to smell?

- (sniffing)
- Smells like salad.

And you could, too.

How come you don't want
to talk about Wharfy?

(sighs) Listen, I don't talk about it

because after I took that
picture, I became obsessed.

I spent all my money looking
for Wharfy, and I went broke.

I finally gave up. My
therapist calls it closure.

But do you really think you saw Wharfy?

I don't think I saw
Wharfy. I did see Wharfy.

It was 30 years ago, and I
was at a wedding on the wharf.

It was right around dusk.

I'd had too many Lemon
Drop shots, and I needed

to throw up, so I went out to the beach.

- (vomits)
- And that's when I saw it.

Wharfy's head popped
right up out of the water.

Even though I was still kind
of vomiting, I took that picture

with a disposable
camera from the wedding.

After I took that
picture, I tried looking

for Wharfy for years.

I quit my job, I bought
a boat, I bought a hat

with a little anchor on
it to wear on the boat,

- but I never saw him again.
- MEGAN: Her.

- Huh?
- Wharfy's a her.

- No, he's a he.
- She has boobs.

- Lots of men have boobs.
- Hold on. Just to recap.

You were drunk and vomiting

when you took this
pretty grainy picture.

And we're supposed
to believe it's Wharfy

and not just a piece of
driftwood or something?

Look, I'm not the first
person to see Wharfy.

This was in 1942. Fisherman.

- Mm-hmm.
- And then in 1965. Whale watch.

- Yup.
- And this is an article

about Madonna divorcing Sean Penn.

Doesn't have to do with Wharfy,
but it was big news at the time,

- so I scrapbooked it.
- Makes sense.

These are just articles.
There are no other pictures.

How about this? Remember
a couple years ago

when part of the pier
mysteriously collapsed?

- I think so?
- People thought

maybe a boat had crashed into it,

but they never found the boat.

The only living thing that
could have done that was...

Wharfy.

Okay, I was gonna say
"Wharfy" dramatically,

- and then you kind of jumped in.
- Sorry. Sorry.

Well, I'm just gonna say it. Wharfy.

All right, we got to figure this out.

Maybe the pet store sells
a really giant fish net,

and we could just scoop
her up out of the water

like a goldfish.

That's a really good idea.

I love that idea.

- I would do that.
- Jessica.

You guys, I wasn't serious. But sure.

I guess if we could, I
don't know, trap her somehow

and get a good look at her
or whatever's down there,

that would settle this.

Done. We're trapping Wharfy.

Okay, wait. We need a boat and a trap.

- I have a boat.
- And I have a badminton net.

We never set it up. My family's got...

I-I mean, we're not
athletic, so it's better

- as a trap.
- I'm sure my therapist will be okay

with me jumping back into the obsession

that took over my life, right?

Or we don't tell my therapist.

Let's do this. Let's go tonight.

Yeah. Oh, no, wait.

Can we go the day after tomorrow?

I'm taking the bar exam.

Soap, not the other one.

Okay. See you in two days.

Until then, don't do
anything I wouldn't do.

So don't eat sprouts

and don't talk to the cat on my block.

- You can't trust him.
- I mean, I'll try,

but if he talks to me,
I'm not gonna be rude.

MICHEL DU ROCHER (on laptop): I was once

walking through a market

- in Macao...
- LOUISE: Hey, Dad, can I

use the laptop? I have
to do... school on it.

Good girl, doing school.

Well, I was kind of
in the middle of this.

I was once walking through a market

in Macao, and I came across a pineapple.

I picked it up and looked at it.

I felt its thorny, little body.

And for a brief moment,
we switched places.

I saw myself staring back at me,

and I thought, "That
man's gonna eat me."

And that pineapple was right.

Now he's a frigging pineapple.

- Deep.
- Guys, shh.

Bob, come on. Give Louise the laptop.

You can be a pineapple tomorrow.

All right, all right, I guess.

But don't stay up too late.

You don't stay up too late.

- Hey, you.
- Hey, you.

Give me a kiss. Now take it.

And go brush your teeth.

Okay.

"Traps for large sea creatures"

is not something I ever
thought I would type.

- TINA: Hey, Louise?
- Aah!

Who looks more totally '80s?

Me, who's wearing all
neon and leg warmers?

Or me, who's dressed
as Shirley MacLaine's

beloved character Ouiser

from the 1989 film Steel Magnolias?

Gosh. That's a lot of pressure.

What are you doing? Looking
up stuff about Wharfy?

(laughing): What?

Why would you even ask that?

- Wharfy's not real.
- No, I know.

So, do you? 'Cause you
sound crazy right now.

- Okay.
-(Southern accent): Well, I'm not crazy.

I've just been in a very
bad mood for 40 years.

Shelby, drink your juice.

? Looking for something
that might not exist ?

? Looking for something
that might not exist ?

? Looking for it, looking for it ?

? Looking for it, looking for it ?

? Looking for it, looking for it ?

-? Looking for it, looking for it ?
-? Oh ?

? Looking for something
that might not exist. ?

Louise, we found your note
saying to meet down here

for an afternoon snack.

- What's that thing?
- I don't know.

But there's a big pile
of prosciutto in there,

so I have no further questions.

And that's Jimmy Jr.'s sock
from my collection of his socks.

I mean, what's that weird
sock I don't recognize at all?

(gobbling, moaning)

Wait, I can't fit through
this. How do we get out of here?

Aah. How do I get
out? How do we get out?

There's only enough prosciutto for one.

I'll eat the prosciutto,
and then you eat me.

- Ha!
- Gotcha.

- The trap worked.
- Why are you trapping us?

'Cause we're testing
out a trap for class.

We're talking about traps i-in math.

- Yeah. Trap-onometry.
- Here, climb out.

Huh. I don't remember trap-onometry.

Well, I guess I'm gonna go
return this sock to Jimmy Jr.

I mean, I don't-I don't know
how it got in my desk drawer.

With a bunch of his other
socks, all carefully labeled.

Yeah, so weird.

And I'm gonna eat the rest
of this prosciutto in my room.

Angrily. (gobbling, growling)

Okay, so we're gonna throw
this fried dough in the trap,

throw the trap in the ocean, and
weigh it down with these rocks.

And, uh, yeah.

And then this could all
just be a waste of time.

It's science, Louise.

Science is never a waste of time.

Tell that to the guy
in the Operation game.

He's awake through the whole procedure.

Hi, girls.

I forgot what time we were meeting,

so I've been here for
six hours, but I'm pumped.

I'm ready. We're gonna find her

and my life is finally
gonna be vindicated

and Ellen can eat it.

- Whoa.
- Who's Ellen?

My therapist. She's actually great.

Mother. Theodore.

Wow. So much khaki.

It was Business Casual Day
at school for Spirit Week.

Aw, my little middle managers.

I don't know why I feel
really threatened by you guys

when you wear those clothes.

You think you're better than me?

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hey, where's Louise?

She's hanging out
with Megan and Jessica.

I don't know what they're
doing. Maybe more math traps?

Math traps? That sounds
fun. I mean, not really.

- Here's your burger, Teddy.
- What's with the nose plug?

I'm supposed to keep my nose plugged

and drink four quarts
of room-temperature water

to reset my palate.

And then I'll "experience
the everything-ness of food."

I've been peeing a lot today.

Brag.

Actually,
maybe I'm ready to taste something.

Here, taste this napkin.
Or a fry. Your choice.

Uh, I'm gonna do a fry.

Okay, here we go.

- Hmm.
- How does it taste?

It... it tastes...

it just tastes like a fry.

I don't understand what Michel Du Rocher

is trying to teach at all.

I don't know how to
taste the everything-ness.

Oh, Bobby, you're
already great at cooking.

That chef can go sit on some celery.

- I'm gonna go pee again.
- Thattaboy.

(all grunt)

Okay, now we wait.

For maybe... (chuckles) eternity, right?

What should we talk about? School?

You guys probably go to school, right?

Yeah. We're kids.

Right. That's what I was thinking.

We could talk about
Spirit Week. Just kidding.

I'm glad it's almost over.

Yeah. Last year I
pretended to have diarrhea

for the whole week so I
wouldn't have to go to school.

I'm actually pretty good at
pretending to have diarrhea.

Watch.

Oh. That's pretty good.

- Like, you thought I had it.
- I did.

- I don't have it.
- No...

- I swear, I don't have it.
- It-It's okay if you have it.

- Yeah, it's fine.
- No, that would be crazy

- for me to do that
- Everybody gets it sometime.

- Just to prove it.
- (all gasp)

Whoa, what was that?

- (all exclaims)
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I can't believe we really
caught a sea monster.

I-I mean, that-that would be
really cool if we caught one,

but who knows, ha-ha-ha!

(grunts) I'm pulling up the trap.

I can't believe we're
about to meet Wharfy.

How do I look? (grunts)

- Well, you look like you have diarrhea.
- Eh...

Your diarrhea face is the same
as your meeting Wharfy face.

I know.

Little help, little people.

(all straining)

(sighs)

(high-pitched): Bob, you seem sad.

(normal voice): Yeah, there's this chef

that I really admire, and
I... I wanted to be like him,

but I don't really get it.

He keeps talking about the
"everything-ness" of food,

and I don't understand.

(high-pitched): He sounds really cool.

(normal voice): Yeah, I guess.

(high-pitched): Bob, come here.

(normal voice): I'm-I'm right
here, I'm right next to you.

(high-pitched): No, no, come closer.

I want to show you something.

(normal voice): Uh, okay.

(high-pitched): Now close your eyes.

(normal voice): Wait, how are you
gonna show me if I close my eyes?

(high-pitched): You
know what? Forget it.

(normal voice): No, no,
no. I-I'm closing my eyes.

I'm closing my eyes. I'm sorry.

? I am the seed, I am
the green, I am the rain ?

? I am the cow that's eating me ?

? But I don't mind 'cause
I see that him and her ?

? And we and they and
he and she are all me ?

- (horn honks)
- ? It's a good, good morning ?

? Everything is dawning now ?

? Everywhere I go ?

? I see it's all good ?

? 'Cause everything I
see that's made of meat ?

? Is made of me. ?

(singers vocalizing)

Yes! Yes!

- Bob, you okay?
- Are you crying, Dad?

I was just cooking, and
I'm totally getting it now.

E-Everything finally makes sense.

(crying and laughing)

Okay, kids, let's go clean
the bathroom. Together.

- Come on. Go, go, go.
- Yay.

(all straining)

LOUISE: Almost there!

I think I can reach it.

Hold the line and I'll pull it closer.

I'm pulling you closer, Wharfy.

April, no, it's coming apart.

I got you, Wharfy.

April, stop, you're gonna break it.

GIRLS: No!

MEGAN: That wasn't Wharfy.

- No.
- Yeah. No.

Sorry I broke the trap.

To be fair, traps
aren't supposed to break

when you pull on them.

We might not have built it
that well 'cause we're nine.

I'm ten. An old ten.

'Cause I'm 11.

Well, this was a big
bucket of bummer balls.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

(sighs) So, yeah.

I mean, that was a
bucket of bummer balls.

But maybe we could try
looking for Wharfy again,

another time?

Why? What's the point?

Maybe that was just a fish in the trap.

But that doesn't mean that
Wharfy isn't still down there.

I mean, when you guys first
told me about this, Megan,

I thought you were pulling Jessica into

a black hole of
cuckoo-ness. No offense.

No, none taken. Except
I-I'm kind of offended.

Yeah, I thought you were,
like, psycho crazy. (laughs)

Okay, now you're just...
you're continuing to offend me.

But, anyways, I think maybe

we could all hang out again
and give it another go?

I mean, that wasn't Wharfy,

but that doesn't mean she's
not out there. Probably.

I'd take another run at it, I guess.

I mean, I can tell my dad that
the badminton net exploded,

and he'll get another one.

There you go. What about you, Megan?

You're not gonna give up, are you?

You know what, maybe Wharfy
is sick of fried dough.

Maybe she's trying to eat healthier.

I mean, I get it.

Yeah, it's a possibility.

I'm back in, too.

We could be like a little
group. The Wharfy-ologists.

I could make T-shirts.

Should everybody just
pitch in 20 bucks right now?

I mean, we don't have to be,
like, a "group" group, right?

That might be a little too "spirity."

- Yeah.
- Yeah, no.

Okay, geez, we're not a group.

How about this: we're just
four like-minded individuals

that want to find a sea monster.

And a third husband. One of us.

Louise, did you have a good
time with Jessica and Megan?

Get a lot of math done?

Oh, yeah. A ton.

Dad's crying again.

I'm-I'm just a little emotional.

I, uh... I had an epiphany.

You watch your language.

(quietly): Psst. Louise.

Did you and Jessica
and Megan find Wharfy?

How did you know about that?

Well, you built a giant trap.

And I also looked at your
search history on the laptop.

Tina Belcher, you little
sneak. I'm impressed.

Yeah. So, what happened?

Eh, we caught a fish.

- Did you have fun?
- Yeah. Shut up.

Anyone want more potatoes?

(sobbing): Potatoes.

They're so beautiful.

- ? Wharfy ?
- ? Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ?

? We looked everywhere but
didn't find you at all ?

- ? Wharfy ?
- ? Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ?

? It was a great big
bucket of bummer balls ?

? Are you really there? ?

? Are you anywhere? ?

? Looking, looking for you
here and there and everywhere ?

? Are you near or far? ?

? You're a local star ?

? We have no idea
where the heck you are ?

? Wharfy ?

? Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ?

? Wharfy ?

? Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ?

? Wharf. ?

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