All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s09e21 PTA It Aint So.eng

All bow to
Gene-eesi,

Toilet King of
the House Belcher.

First of his name,
Pincher of Loafs.

- Gene, please get off.
- Oh, boo.

Wow,
this is a lot of toilet paper.

Did we maybe get too much?

No matter
how much we order,

- we always seem to run out.
- Yeah, it's almost like people

are just flushing this
stuff down the toilet.

Teddy, how's it going
with the dishwasher?

- Not great, Bob!
- He's fine.

Well, you guys are gonna
have to finish unpacking this

without me, 'cause I got
to get to my PTA meeting.

Got some great ideas.
I think Joanne is gonna love 'em!

- Who's Joanne?
- The PTA president.

And the person
I want to be when I grow up.

I thought you wanted to be
Janet Jackson

when you grow up.
We both do.

Last month,
one of the other parents

came up with an after-school
tutoring program.

She called it
"Real Punks Don't Flunk."

Joanne took her out
to breakfast to talk it over,

and the next thing you know,
all the punks are getting A's.

Ugh. If I could just go to
one breakfast with Joanne.

Can you imagine?

Let me try.
Oh, yeah, that's nice.

Eh, too bad it's all
about to go down the tubes

'cause of Colleen Caviello.

She's running for
treasurer

because Ray Mendoza
bought a houseboat,

and he's gonna
boat-school his kids.

Aw! I really don't want
Colleen on the board.

She's gonna take all the
fun out of fun-raising.

You know it's "fund-raising,"
right,

Lin?
Not "fun-raising."

Yeah...

everybody knows that.

Anyway,
I'll see you later, crocodiles.

Don't use the dishwasher yet,
Bob.

Still fixing it.

Counterpoint.
You fixed it.

I'm gonna run
to the hardware store.

Ugh.
How long is it gonna take?

We really need that
dishwasher to be working.

We wash dishes here?

I've just been putting them
outside.

- What?
- It's right down the street.

Kim & Son's Hardware?
Family business?

They give me the
"contractor's discount."

Huh.
I usually just go to Fix-It Depot.

Fix-It Depot?
That's fine...

if you want to crush
the little guy.

I am not crushing anyone,
Teddy.

They just have everything
there.

Like vices
you can use to crush

the heart of
a family business?

Teddy, you know
we're a family business.

Are you? Then why don't you
act like a family business

- for once in your life!
- Yeah!

Hey, why don't you come
with me?

We'll be back in, like,
ten minutes.

Kids, you want to take
a little break

and go to the hardware store
with Teddy?

He seems like
he's... doing well.

Sure.
Kids love hardware stores.

Can we go to
the laundromat, too?

Yay. Errands.

All in favor?

All opposed?

Looks like
cookies beat out brownies

as the snack
at our next meeting!

Congrats, Beth.
We know how passionate

you are about
those cookies.

Look at Joanne go.

I know.
She's amazing.

Okay.
As you all read in my e-mail,

we have a fund-raiser
coming up

for seventh grade
science kits!

Spirit fingers!

Aw. I love spirit fingers.

It's like typing a quiet
message that says, "Yay!"

Now, we don't have
a theme yet,

so I hope you all came
with some fun ideas.

Oh! Ooh! Aw!

Linda. Yeah,
let's hear it, girl.

Um, my idea for the
theme is "Surfin' PTA."

- Ooh!
- Get a surf deejay.

Someone could dress up
like a shark

- and serve Shark-donnay.
- Stop it.

And we could even cover
the floor with sand.

You know,
'cause sand's at the beach.

- Yeah!
- Can I say something?

I wasn't finished,
Colleen.

Uh, anyway, spirit
fingers. Okay, I'm done.

For those of you
who don't know me,

hi, I'm Colleen Caviello.

I'm running for PTA treasurer.
And I just want to say,

I don't think that Linda has
thought through how expensive

- her idea would be.
- Huh!

All that stuff she wants
would put us at... $45 a head,

- 200 people... that's...
- A hundred fifty...

- $9,000.
- $9,000.

So maybe let's keep
brainstorming, I don't know.

Hey, you know what,
I got a spirit finger for you, Colleen.

Okay, that's not how
we use spirit fingers.

Let's circle back to the
fund-raiser in our next meeting.

Moving along on the
agenda, let's talk about...

replacing the dead shrubbery
in front of the school.

Or maybe just
painting it green.

Ooh. There's Danny.

He's the owner's son.

- Hi, Danny!
- Hey, Todd.

That's Danny.
He calls me Todd sometimes.

Dad, can we go explore,

away from this slightly
sad conversation?

- Fine.
- It's hammer time!

Hey, Mr. Kim!
This is my friend Bob.

- Bob, Mr. Kim.
- Uh, hello. Hi.

Bob's never been to a
hardware store before.

- First time.
- I-I actually, I have been...

I have...

He doesn't know what
any of this stuff is.

I-I know what it all is,
Teddy.

Anyway, we're looking for
an inlet valve

- for a dishwasher.
- That's, uh, aisle one.

Great. I'll go get it.

It's a nice place you have here.

All the aisles.

Uh, what happened?
Did your, uh, did your bird fly away?

- Oh, no.
- Hey.

He looked upset.
What'd you say?

Teddy, please don't tell
me his bird just flew away.

- His bird just flew away.
- Are you serious?

I just made a joke about
his bird flying away.

That's not a good joke, Bob.
Mr. Kim loved that parrot.

Oh, my God, I feel horrible.

Dad, can we get this?
It makes underwater fart sounds.

Gene.

See?

- You okay, Dad?
- Uh, I think I just broke

an old man's heart.

- Is the old man you?
- No. Another old man, Tina.

Way to go, Bob!

Well, let's
just go home, I guess.

Wait.
What about the pipe?

You can get it, but this
counts for everyone's birthday.

- Yes!
- That's fair.

We own this now!

Hi, Lin. Uh, is everything okay?

Oh, everything's fine.

Colleen Caviello was
as Colleen as ever.

In fact, they should call
her Colleen Cavi-hell-no.

Pretty cool name, to be honest.

Bob's Burgers.
We're a restaurant.

- Tina.
- Yeah, she's here.

- Mom, it's for you. It's Joanne.
- Really?

Bob, how do I look?
Do I look okay?

- You look, uh, great.
- Shush, shush, shush. I'm on the phone.

Hel... Hello?

Hi, Linda.
I hope I'm not catching you

at a bad time.

No, I-I was just, uh,
organizing...

uh, my, uh, stool... samples.

- Hmm.
- Uh, and... I'm done.

Well, I was calling
to let you know that

- I loved all your fun ideas today.
- You did?

Why don't you and I have
breakfast tomorrow and talk?

Breakfast?

Uh, yeah, I'm free.
Free as a tree!

Great! Let's say 10:00 a.m.
at the Muffin Top?

Yeah, I'll see you then.

PTA, get ready
for Me-T-A!

Thanks for having
breakfast with me, Linda.

Of course! Ah, I've been
wanting to get more involved.

- Oh, and I love your PTA pendant!
- Oh, thank you.

You can't spell "pendant"
without PTA!

- Right?
- You're so fun, Linda.

- I was telling Bear about you.
- Who's Bear?

Oh, that's my husband,
Barry.

I call him Bear,
and he calls me Jo-Jo.

Aw. I call my husband
Bob-itty Bob-itty Bob-itty.

In my head.
Whenever he walks by.

Anyway, I was telling him that
we need to find better ways

to use you in the PTA.

Have you ever considered
joining the board?

I mean, I'd love to,
but with Colleen running

to be the new treasurer,
I'd rather just sit this one out.

Colleen.

I mean, she is the only person
running,

and yeah, she has an
accounting background,

but that's not everything.

I think someone like you
would be a better fit.

Me? No...

Yeah!
Who needs numbers?

You're the expert in fun-bers.

Well, I feel flattered,
plus happy divided by gassy.

Ah, why'd I get the bran muffin?

But me? Treasurer?
I dunno.

- Here, let me get this.
- Oh, no, no, Linda.

This is paid for by the
official PTA credit card.

Oh, wow.

Thank you, Joanne.

You know, for the rest of
the day, I'm going around

to local businesses collecting
items for the auction.

You're welcome to join me.

I'm in.
Ah, let me call my husband

and let him know he's gotta
flip his own meat today.

Okay, I get it.

You like Joanne more than us.

It's fine. Uh, bye.

- Ready, Gene?
- Of course I'm ready.

This is the most important
moment of my life.

Okay. Pouring the ketchup now.

Ah...

Give it about... an hour.

- Hi, Teddy.
- Hi, Bob.

Just got back
from the hardware store.

Did you send Mr. Kim flowers?

Yeah, I did.

- Why would you do that?
- Wait, w-what do you mean?

You sent a bouquet of
Birds of Paradise

to a guy
who just lost his bird?

Is that some kind of
sick prank?

That's what they sent?
I just told them

to pick out
the most expensive flowers

from their cheap section.

Guess what?
'Cause of your bird flowers

I lost my contractor's discount.

I just paid full price
for this sandpaper.

Thanks a lot, Bob.
You owe me $1.20.

What are you gonna do now, Dad?

Uh... nothing.
I'm gonna do nothing.

So, what? That's it?
We're just never going back

to Kim and Son's Hardware ever again?

There are aisles
and aisles of pipes

that we will never play
with because of you.

You can fix this, Dad.

Do you wanna spend the
rest of your life knowing

that sweet old Mr. Kim
thinks you're a monster?

- Not really.
- I didn't think you were

a monster until I saw you
eating yogurt that one time.

It's time for "Operation:
Make Mr. Kim Not Hate Bob."

- Who's in?
- I am. - Me, too.

All right, fine.

- Yay!
- Yes. -Nice.

But let's please,
just not do anything

to make him more upset.

Dad, do we look like people
who make bad decisions?

The ketchup is arriving!

Hey, Joanne.

I have the basket

for your fundraiser
ready to go.

Oh. Four bottles?

Is that what
we agreed on?

Well, at first we said two,

but then you talked me
up to four, remember?

Here's the thing,
I wouldn't ask

for these bottles
if this was about me.

But this is about
the children.

This is about science.

This is about those
three special letters

that make the world
a better place.

- S-E-X?
- No, Linda. PTA.

- Oh, right.
- So...

Give what you can.

Dammit, Joanne and other lady.

I'll-I'll give you eight bottles.

- Oh, great.
- And I'll throw in this magnet

that says "Wine Time."
For the kids.

? Can we get some wine,
have a hella fine time ?

? Can we get some more stuff? ?

? I can never get enough ?

? I'm with the PTA ?

? Let me show you the way ?

? You know you wanna ?

? You know you should ?

? You want to donate ?

? It feels so good ?

- ? I'm with the PTA ?
- ? Give it up, give it up ?

? So who's gonna pay? ?
? Give it up, give it up ?

? I'm with the PTA ?
? Give it up, give it up ?

? Everybody donate ?

? I'm with the PTA ?

? Give it up, give it up ?

? So who's gonna pay? ?
? Give it up, give it up ?

? I'm with the PTA.
? Give it up, give it up ??

? Everybody... ?

Okay, Dad, we finished the
flyer to find Mr. Kim's bird.

I-I-It's good.
My only question is,

why did you draw the
bird with a top hat?

Because he's a bird.

And talk to me about the roller
skates, and the fart cloud?

It propels him forward.

Okay, you've never made
a flyer, have you, Dad?

Huh. Let's take
another crack at this.

We need something less...
like this.

Bigger fart cloud.
Got it.

So...

big night tonight.

First, I'm happy to report
that Linda and I scored

a ton of auction items.

- Spirit fingers.
- All right.

Now that
we have all this fun stuff,

let's decide
what the darn theme is.

We have
three top contenders...

- Surfin' PTA,
- Mm.

Under The Big Top,

and Garfield versus Snoopy.

I, for one, will be voting

for Linda's amazing
Surfin' PTA idea.

All in favor of Surfin'
PTA, raise your hands.

Well, I guess there's
no reason to hold a vote

for the other two. We have a winner!

Let's go surfin', baby!

Hold on. As future treasurer,
I have to put my foot down.

We can't afford this.

Actually, that brings us

to our next vote, PTA treasurer.

Okay, let's get this over
with.

We have two candidates
on the ballot.

Two? I'm "unopposed."

All of a sudden I'm "opposed"?

- Who's the opposer?
- Linda Belcher.

- Linda? What?
- Wait. What? I am?

Linda told me over
breakfast the other day

that she'd like
to be more involved.

That's... true.

Everyone voting for Linda Belcher,

raise your hand.

She's got my vote.

Okay. Now everyone voting

for Colleen Caviello, raise your hand.

It looks like Linda Belcher
is our new PTA treasurer.

You just voted like really
dumb people,

and that's all I'm saying.

And you're gonna regret this
for the rest of your lives.

That's all I'm saying!

Linda, you're on the board.

- You're in the big show.
- Oh, my God, I'm on the board.

Thank you, Beth. Wait,
don't-don't eat those.

Joanne, hey. Hi.

- Hey, there, new treasurer.
- Aw.

I just wanted to say
thanks for supporting me.

You're gonna be great.

Hey, are those the bottles of wine

that were donated
for the auction?

You need me to help you bring those in?

Oh. No. I'm taking those home.

Those are... really... old.

Are those gift cards and
candles for the auction, too?

Oh, yeah. They got dirt on them.

And also, that candle smells bad.

Hey, do you want a bottle of wine?

And a bad-smelling candle?

- Here you go.
- Oh.

- You're on the board, now.
- Oh, uh, uh, no.

- We're gonna make a great team.
- Uh... uh...

Bye!

Oh, boy.

Mmm. What smells like
rosemary mint melon?

N-Nothing. Bye!

Ah, you know, I'm so glad
you were able to come by

the restaurant today to
work on PTA stuff, Joanne.

Me, too. I know you've only
been treasurer for one day,

but I think you might
be the best treasurer

in the history of the school,
maybe even the country.

Thank you, Joanne.

- Also, did you lose weight?
- In a day? Maybe.

Anyway, I thought maybe you'd
like to sign this contract.

Contract? Sure.

Oh, wait, I don't have a pen.

- Oh, just use your blood.
- Huh?

Oh, your face!

Oh, my face!

Bob, wake up.
I need to talk to you.

Huh? Wha...
What? What's going on?

Bob, I don't feel good
about Joanne

taking that donation wine.

And then giving me the wine,

which I didn't drink, by the way.

Was I not supposed
to drink that?

I gotta talk to her tomorrow.

I gotta let her know
how I feel.

Yeah. I-I know what you mean.

It's like this whole bird
thing with Mr. Kim and...

Oh.

So, Joanne,

uh, listen, the reason I wanted
to talk to you is that I...

Oh, before I forget, I have a
little surprise for you, Linda.

It's your very own PTA pendant.

It's gorgeous.

So shiny.

What was it that you wanted
to talk to me about, Linda?

Well, I just wanted to say

I'm not so sure PTA members

should be taking donated
stuff for themselves.

So, uh...

Anyway... muffins.

You are absolutely right.

I am so glad you understand.

It-It's just, you know,

I put a lot of time into the PTA.

I mean, it's almost a full-time job,

except that it's not,
because I don't get paid.

And sometimes, I guess
in a moment of weakness,

I might, you know,
order a muffin

on the PTA credit card.

I guess I-I feel like I deserve it.

Aw.

Oh, don't cry, Joanne.

I'm sorry I said anything.

Hey, one muffin ain't nuffin'.

But it is, Linda. One muffin is suffin'.

Do you think I'm a bad person,
Lin-Lin?

No. No, Jo-Jo.

Are you kidding me?

Should we split it, or...

I mean, we don't want
to use this, right?

You know what?
Let's put it on the PTA card.

- We earned it.
- If you say so.

By the way, here are the
invoices for everything.

I need my new treasurer to
approve all the purchases

and enter them into
the spreadsheets.

- You think you could do that?
- Yeah, sure.

I'll, uh, start spreading the sheets.

Uh, hey.
I'm the guy who called

about the missing bird
on the flyer.

Uh, right. Great. Is
it, uh, in that box?

Yeah, well, well, hold on.

Is this a reward situation or what?

- I don't know.
- Name your price.

- Gene.
- $10,000.

Gene, stop. Uh, what's your price?

- $10,000?
- No.

- $15,000.
- Stop.

Do I hear 20?

Look, I'll-I'll give you ten bucks.

And we'll throw in this formerly fun

but now super nasty pipe.

It comes with one hot dog
that's already stuck inside.

Eh, all right. I'll-I'll take it.

Really? Uh, okay.

So, let's see the bird.

This isn't a parrot. This is a pigeon.

No, it's not. It's, uh,
it's just scared,

- so it's acting like a pigeon.
- I do that sometimes.

No. You know what, I-I'm
not paying for this.

Are you accusing me
of catching a pigeon

and trying to sell it
for ten bucks?

- Yes.
- Well, I'm leaving.

And I'm taking the bird
with me. And this pipe.

That's fine.

Huh.

These science kits cost
$40 each?

Let me see how much these
things cost on the website.

Science Wow Products.

Oh, Joanne's buying them retail.

That's why they're so expensive.

Why would she do that?

"Science Wow is a division
of Jo-Jo Bear Publishing."

Wait a minute. Jo-Jo Bear...

I call him Bear,
and he calls me Jo-Jo.

Oh, my goodness!
Joanne and her husband

own the company that
makes the science kits.

This is bad.
This is Jo-Jo Beary bad.

So, this is what it looks like

when someone listens
to one of Mom's ideas.

So many dad sandals.

So many milky white ankles.

There she is.
The Big Little Liar herself.

Lin, are you sure you
still want to do this?

I don't want to do this, Bob.
I have to.

I tried calling her,
but she never picked up.

Then I called the National PTA hotline,

and the only options were
press one for car washes

and press two for bake sales.
So now we're down to this.

The Bleach Boys, everybody.

The Bleach Boys.

Oh, I get it. 'Cause they're janitors.

We have CD's I can burn

from my computer at home.
E-mail me.

Before we get to the
auction, some thank yous.

There is one person in particular.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our new PTA treasurer,
Linda Belcher.

I know her.
Linda, hi!

And now on to the auction.

Actually, uh, Joanne,
if I may just say a few words?

Oh. Um, okay.

I just wanted to say
the reason

I got more involved
with the PTA

was because
I was so inspired by Joanne.

Aw. Thank you, Linda.

It's my pleasure, Jo-Jo.
Fun fact, everyone...

Joanne's husband calls her Jo-Jo,

and she calls him Bear.

This is a really good speech.

That's true.

- Uh, okay. I... Can I...
- Okay. Give it back.

- Just... Release.
- I got it.

Okay. Well, let's get on
with the auction, shall we?

- And they even have a company
- Okay.

called Jo-Jo Bear.

Spirit fingers. Spirit fingers.

And what's even more interesting

is that their company makes
the very expensive science kits

that we're raising funds for tonight.

Isn't that a coincidence?

Linda, what are you doing?

Yeah, yeah. She bought
all the science kits

from her own company
at a crazy high price.

That's not true. And even if it was,

all the invoices were entered
and approved by the treasurer,

- which is you.
- Right.

Which I now see is
what you wanted

because you didn't think
I knew what I was doing.

And yes, for a little while,

I was entering commas
instead of decimals

and lowercase Ls instead of 1's

because they look the same,
but then I figured it out.

And then I got someone
to check my work.

Colleen?

Hello, Joanne.

Wait.
Why is she in the shark costume?

Linda thought
it would be more dramatic.

She was right.

This is ridiculous.
You have nothing on me.

Oh, we have plenty on you, Joanne.

Linda called me last night.

- And you hung up on me.
- I did.

But then you left
that weird message,

and I called you back.

It wasn't weird.
It was fine.

Well, everyone in my
house listened to it,

and we all thought
it was very weird.

Anyway, came over to my house...

- Her slightly tacky house.
- How dare you?

Oh, give me a break.

And she showed me all
the spreadsheets.

I spent all night auditing

every PTA expense over
the last two years,

and it looks like someone's
been skimming off the top.

Okay, sure. I might take
an occasional bottle of wine

or an eyebrow threading
gift certificate.

I mean, not that I need
it. I just wanted to try it.

But let's be honest, who's
gonna plan an event like this?

You, Colleen? You, Linda?

You, Beth?

Do you have any idea

how many e-mails I send a week?

No, you don't. Because
no one reads them.

No one even clicks on them!

I will not be questioned

by people eating crab
cakes that I ordered

on napkins I folded.

I'm not in the PTA.

I am the PTA!

Did she say that there
were crab cakes here?

All right, it's auction time!

Our first item is a
basket of smelly soaps.

No takers? No one?

It's over, Joanne.

- No! No!
- Give me the microphone.

- No! I can't do it! Oh!
- Give it! Give it now. Give it!

All those in favor

of replacing Joanne as PTA president,

raise your hand.

Fine. I'll leave.

Good luck cleaning up
all this sand.

Raise your hand if you're
sticking around after

to clean up sand.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm gonna miss her.

One, two, three, four!

This is gonna be great.

There's nothing
a free bird can't fix.

That is what the song
"Free Bird" is about.

- Bob, what are you doing here?
- Hey, Teddy.

We're bringing Mr. Kim
a bird as a sorry gift.

I'm also bringing him a bird.

- What?
- I want to get my discount back.

W-Well, I'm gonna give him

- my bird first.
- Not if I beat you to it.

No, no, no, no, no.
No pushing, Teddy.

Oh!

Is that... Did he
already get a new bird?

- Looks like it.
- You!

- Leave the birds. Let's go.
- We got you birds!

- Now you have three birds.
- You're welcome.

We love your store.

- ? Hoo ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hah ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hoo ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hah ?
- ? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, whoo ?

- ? Hoo ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hah ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hoo ?
- ? La, la, la ?

- ? Hah ?
- ? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ?

? Hah. ?

? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ?

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0