All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s09e14 Every Which Way but Goose.eng

Okay. All done.
Time for school.

Tina, you're done?
We just started eating.

Why do you want
to go to school so badly?

Did you do your homework
last night?

Today's the day
they're announcing the theme

for the eighth grade dance.

And rumor has it
they might be choosing mine.

I started that rumor.

Oh, right. Your theme.
What was it again?

"Night of the Living Dance."

Everyone dresses up like
zombies

who are ready to party.

Eatin' brains and
doin' cocaine!

- Gene.
- I hope they choose my idea.

It was inspired by
a story I wrote.

Ooh, one of your frisky,

friendly
what's-it-calleds?

Erotic friend s-stories.

I read it. It was erotic
and highly disturbing.

- Two for two.
- No, it wasn't.

I'm at the dance in my
dress that's ripped up

and covered in brains.

And Zombie Jimmy Jr.
Asks me to dance.

And then
I fall but catch myself

by grabbing onto his butt,

- and then we...
- Okay, the end.

But I didn't get to the part
where his butt falls off

- and...
- I... want to remain in suspense.

So you and Jimmy Jr.
Are going to the dance together?

Yeah. I mean,
he hasn't asked me yet,

but we talked about it
a while ago.

I gave him some ideas
of how to ask.

A lot of people have been
going the promposal route.

Not that this is prom, but
it's still a big D. Deal.

Don't say "big D."

I told him no pressure,
just do something simple.

Like take me
into a grocery store,

and all the oranges spell out.

"Orange you glad you're
going to the dance with me?"

Or he could sky-write it
in the sky.

I need someone to sky-write
these eggs into my mouth.

- Here comes the airplane. Aaaaaah!
- Ah!

Hey, Dad, what are you wearing
to Mom and Gene's wedding?

Uh, a suit, I guess.

Good morning, Wagstaff.

Before we get started
with normal announcements,

Mr. Frond
has something to say.

The theme for the
eighth grade dance is...

"Night of the Living Dance"!
Suggested by Tina Belcher!

- They chose my theme.
- Ew.

This day can't get any better.
Or can it?

Hey, Jimmy Jr., is there

something you
want to ask me?

Oh. Uh...
can I get a restroom pass?

Huh. Probably off to arrange
the flash mob, I'm guessing?

Hey, guys.

So you probably heard that
my theme was chosen

for the eighth grade dance.

What? Sorry, I stopped
listening after "Hey, guys."

Well, truthfully,
after "Hey."

So, the dance committee
meets after school...

Uh, if you're doing dance
committee after school,

who's gonna cover for
you at the restaurant?

My incredibly supportive
sister and brother?

They sound nice.

You guys, please?
It's my theme.

Fine, we'll cover for you.

- But you've got to do something for us.
- Okay.

Every day this week, when you
get home from dance committee,

you have to...
clean the restaurant bathroom.

- Oh. That's where the toilet is.
- Yeah.

But we take turns.

If you want to be
on the committee,

it's not gonna be pretty.

Okay. Fine. It's a deal.

Hey, Jimmy Jr.
Over here!

Should I, uh,
clear a space?

What do you need
to do your big, uh, thing?

Uh, sorry, I got to, um,
check out the hallway.

Oh, okay.
Let me know how it is.

Hi, guys.

Ohh, Gretchen,
why so droopy?

I'm not wearing a bra.

No, I'm talking
about your frowny face.

My sister's
getting married on Saturday.

Oh, congrats.

My family told me,
if I want to bring a date,

I got to bring
a nice guy.

I guess the guys
I've been bringing to stuff

have been "disasters"
who "drink too much"

and "vomit"
on my mom's "workout tapes."

- Hmm.
- Huh.

If I knew any nice idiots,
I would bring one.

Hey, wait.
What about you?

What's your name again?

Teddy. We've met
so many times.

Well, you seem nice.
And you're there.

Do you want to go with me?

I'm flattered,
Gretchen, but I can't.

I'm going away
this weekend.

I'm taking my mom
to see Digereedudes,

the Australian all-male
revue at Sun Woods Casino.

I assume it's some
kind of animal show.

Ticket says
"Watch out for swinging dingoes."

I'm never gonna find
a date by this weekend.

Yes, you will, Gretchen.

- I'll help you.
- You will?

Yeeeah! What if we go on
one of those dating sites?

Okay.
This could be fun.

- Yeeeeah.
- I-I better get everything

waxed and ready.
What do you think,

Bob,
bikini or Brazilian?

Or barbarian?
That's where you let it

get crazy down there.

- Uh, surprise us?
- Okay, I'll surprise you.

Hey, Tina, uh,
can I talk to you?

Oh, my God.
This is it.

- W... Uh, well...
- If my glasses fog up,

don't be alarmed.
It's just 'cause I'm excited.

Tina, can we maybe, uh,
go somewhere private?

But, if we go somewhere
private, who's gonna go "Aw"

and applaud for us after
you-you ask me to the dance?

- I'm...
- You are going to ask me, right?

Um... no.

I-I'm not going to the dance.

- You're what?!
- It's not that big a deal, is it?

- Aah!
- Oh, my God!

- Aah! Aah! Aah!
- Whoa, she just kicked a kid!

Oh, no-no-no,
she just tripped.

Looked like it, though.

Stupid Jimmy...
J... Aah!

Jimmy... Aah!

Aah! Oh!
Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Sorry, I didn't see you.

I... Oh... It's just
this boy, Jimmy Jr.,

changed his mind and
decided not to ask me

to the eighth grade dance.

And-and we talked about it.
He said he was gonna ask me.

Ah! It's so messed up.

Exactly. You get it.

Sorry. I just realized
I'm totally venting at you.

You're pretty easy
to talk to, though.

This is the best conversation
I've had in a long time.

If this is the best
conversation you've had,

then honk on the count of
three: one, two, three...

Four. Five. Six.

I knew it.

There are some nice-looking
guys on PerfectPair.

Look at this one.

Software engineer?

Talk to me when
you're a hardware engineer.

- Mm.
- How about this one?

Is he in a tank top
with the nipples cut out?

Yeah. It says
"Pepperonis, anyone?" Ha!

- What app is that?
- FunBuddy.

Gretchen,
you're not gonna find

a nice wedding date
on FunBuddy.

But the guys you're
picking out look boring.

Lin, your guy
does look a little boring.

I mean, it says his interests
are reading and naps.

So? I like those, too.
Except the reading.

Hey, kids.
Where's Tina?

Oh, she's at dance committee.
Her theme got picked.

We're covering for her,
so don't expect things

- to get done that quickly.
- Or that well.

It's nice of you guys
to cover for your sister

so she can do
the dance committee.

A little too nice. What did
you make her promise to do?

Father, how dare you?

We did this out of the
kindness of our hearts.

And also, she's gonna
clean the bathroom all week.

She insisted on that.

Speaking of bathrooms,
look at this guy.

- Is he on the toilet?
- Yeah.

He's being funny.
I think.

- I'm gonna send him a message.
- Gretchen, no!

And that's why I think
we should send all boys to Canada

and call it Manada.
And never go there.

Well, it's getting late.
I'd better go.

Nice meeting you.
Guess I'll see you around.

Oh, you're following me.

I think he likes you.

- Huh?
- That's Bruce. Bruce the Goose.

He didn't seem to mind your
long story about a dance

that you told really
loudly for some reason.

Oh, sorry.

Geese can be kind of
clingy.

They can form strong
attachments to other birds

- and sometimes to people.
- Like me?

Seems like it, huh?

I tried to get him to attach to me,
but it didn't take.

Guess I wasn't sad
and desperate enough.

Aw, Bruce.
You're a caring guy.

Some people could learn
a thing or two from you.

You're talking
about Jimmy Jr.?

Yes! Ah...
such a jerk.

Yeah, yeah, no, no,
I heard, I heard.

Such a jerk.

Oh, my God,
I'm so excited.

Dan Esposito shaved
"Will you go to the dance with me?"

into the back of his head.

Ronald McEvoy wrote
"Will you go to the dance with me?"

with worms in science class.

He taught the worms
how to spell.

Would you make me the
happiest eighth grader

and be my date
to the dance?

Oh, my God.
Yes! What's your name?

- Ohh!
- Hey, Tina.

Can, uh,
we talk for a sec?

Is it about
how you changed your mind

and want to ask me
to the dance?

No, sorry.

But I do
want to talk to you more,

'cause you seemed
so mad yesterday.

Or maybe
you're over it?

Tina, the dance committee
meeting is starting soon.

We've got a lot of work
to do for the dance.

The dance...
the dance... the dance.

Aah! Uh!

So, yeah, I ditched dance
committee and came right here.

I'm just so sick of people.

That's what's so great
about you.

Hey, I brought
half a turkey sandwich.

Oh. Unless that's weird
for you 'cause you're...

Oh. You're eating it
right out of my hand.

Okay, Gretchen, your date's
gonna be here any minute.

His name's Norman,
and he's a podiatrist.

That's him.
He's cute, sorta.

He looks like
if a banana were a person.

- Uh, are you...
- Hi. I'm Gretchen.

I'm Norman.
Pleased to meet you.

These are our menus, and, uh,
if you don't mind me saying,

you two make
a lovely couple.

Oh, uh, well, we just met.

- What? Are you kidding me?
- Uh...

Well, I'll just give you a
minute to look over the menus,

and whatever else
you want to look over.

So, you work with feet?
That's gross, right?

Uh, I find the foot
fascinating.

Look at the sparks fly.

Uh, I don't want to be
hearing or watching this.

You know,
you're not gonna believe this,

but my foot's actually
a urologist.

- Oh! Ooh!
- Mm-hmm.

Oh-oh! -Uh, are you
guys ready to order?

Ow!

I'll have a...
a Burger of the Day.

- Make it two.
- You got it.

Pump the brakes, Gretchen.

I'm trying to pump the brakes,
Linda.

It started to go a little
off the rails over there,

but I got it back on track.

Gretchen's pretending to
spill mustard on her boobs.

Oh, how did that get there?

Oh, God, oh, no.
I'll be right back.

And then this duck walked by

and dropped a piece of bread,
and we tried not to laugh,

but it was so hard not to,
'cause it was so embarrassing.

Wait, you were at the park?

I thought you were at
the dance committee.

Yeah, and also there's
a disgusting bathroom

that didn't get cleaned
because someone didn't get back

until after closing time.

Oh, yeah,
sorry about that.

And also, I quit dance committee.

I'm not going to the dance
anymore.

What? But you were so excited
about your zombie dance.

And Jimmy Jr.

Jimmy Jr. doesn't want to go
to the dance with me, okay?

Okay.

Wait. Tina,
who were you with at the park again?

- A goose?
- No, Bob. She wasn't with a goose.

It was a kid named Goose, right?

No, he's a goose named Bruce.

Wait, like, honk, honk.
Like that kind of goose?

There's no kind of goose
that sounds like that.

Don't geese kind of
go, like...

- No, like this. Honk, honk.
- Like a tow truck.

Like a car.

Stop it! Stop it!
He doesn't sound like that.

He has a perfectly
normal honk.

You know what? I'm gonna have
the rest of my dinner in my room.

And I'm gonna have the rest

of Dad's dinner in my room.

Okay, Gretchen.
You had some lunches,

you met some nice guys.

Which one of these eligible bachelors

is gonna be your matchelor?

I don't know.
They're all so boring.

So much talking,
so much khaki.

I really like the guy
who works at the airport.

He had a friendly face.

- But too much baggage. Am I right?
- Yeah!

Send him a message.
See if he wants to go.

Nah, I don't wanna.

Excuse me. There's no toilet
paper in your bathroom,

and it's nasty in there.

Oh, no, uh, sorry about that.
We'll-we'll clean it right away.

Oh, my God.

Have you guys cleaned the
bathroom at all this week?

Tina's the one on
bathroom duty, remember?

Yeah! It's not our fault she's
hanging out with Goosey Lawless

instead of doing her duty!

Well, someone needs
to clean it.

And that someone is you two.

Mom and Gretchen,
he's talking to you.

No, you two. Now.

Oh, smell no.

I'm not ready for this!

I'm just a boy!

Oh, that's good.

Tina, we just want to remind
you that we're still furious

that we had to clean the
bathroom 'cause you were late.

You goose-goose-ducked
us over, lady.

Guys, I'm sorry
I have a life.

With Bruce.

Tina, what's with you
lately?

You're ditching work
to go to the pond.

You eat all your meals
in your room.

And... are you even listening to
me right now?

Hello? Hello?

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I kind of miss the old days,

when you would ramble on and on
about the zombie dance.

You guys talking about
the big dance?

Did you change your mind,
Tina?

No! God, I told you,
I'm not going

to the stupid dance, okay?!

Everyone at school is annoying.
I don't want to be around them.

I don't want to be around anyone!
Except Bruce.

I'm gonna go pee.
Angrily.

Oh, whoa.
What's going on?

Uh, guys, you might want
to take a peek at this.

"Tina and Bruce
shared a love so deep..."

That it didn't
matter that she was a person

and he was a goose.

No one understood
their love.

So they ran away
together and laid dozens

and dozens of eggs and
had dozens and dozens

of babies who looked like
little amazing goose people.

- Oh, God.
- Hot.

- Gene.
- What's happening to Tina?

It's like she got her heart
hurt

and now she's shutting out
the world.

She's becoming
a Bruce recluse.

You know, before this goose
came along,

dancing at a zombie dance
with Jimmy Jr.

Was her big fantasy.

Maybe we need
to get her back onto that.

Okay. How do we get her
to the dance?

Gene and Louise are
gonna get her there.

- We are?
- Yeah.

Unless you want to
keep cleaning the bathroom.

Don't remind me.
I can still taste it.

- What?
- What?

- What are you guys talking about?
- Nothing! - Nothing! - Nothing! - Nothing!

No one's concerned
about your future hybrid

human-goose babies,

and no one read
your journal either,

so just chill out!

So, wait, Tina is
hanging out with a goose?

Named Bruce.

So that's why Tina's not
talking to me anymore?

Tina's not talking to you
because you didn't ask her

to the dance like
you said you would.

You crushed her heart.

I know.

So go to the dance and
fix this cluster-fart!

- But I can't, Louise!
- Why?!

I have an injury.

- What?
- It's embarrassing.

- Why?
- Because of where it is.

Where is it?!

- My butt!
- Your butt.

I was doing the dance from
the movie Save the Last Dance,

and I got really lost
in the moment.

And I guess I...

pulled a butt muscle.

I was too embarrassed
to tell Tina what happened.

And I can't really dance
until it heals.

I can barely do this.

- Ow. Ow. Ow.
- Stop. Stop it. Stop. Just...

Here's what you're
gonna do. Go to the dance

and do that weird swaying
thing and look happy.

Like this? Ow...

Nailing it.

Hey, Lin?
We're out of tomatoes.

Can you grab some
more from downstairs?

In a minute, Bob.
I'm just logging onto.

Gretchen's
account on PerfectPair.

Oh. Does she know
you're doing that?

No. But I have her password
because I set up her account.

I'm gonna message that airport
guy and see if he wants to go

- with her to the wedding.
- Uh, that sounds

like a really bad idea.

I know. It's smart, right?

And I think I can maybe
change his mind.

Lin, don't do this.
Gretchen's not gonna like it.

- I already did it.
- Well, undo it.

No. There's no undo, Bob.
It's done.

- Oh, wait. It didn't go through.
- Oh. Good.

- Oh, now it did.
- Oh, my God.

Okay, so,
first we find the goose,

then we lure him away,
and then we trap him.

And, hopefully,
our very impressive

stalling Tina tactic
worked.

There was a note
taped to my locker

that I had a very
important phone call?

I don't think so.
The only call that came in today

was a prank phone call
about E. coli in the lettuce.

Everyone knows
that's not a real thing.

Dangerous salad.

So where's Bruce?

All I see is a bunch of
dumb ducks.

Look, a goose.

And it has a friendship
bracelet on its leg.

It must be him.

Come on, boy. Come on.

Ha!

Sit tight. We'll come
get you after the dance.

If anyone asks,
you're camping.

Bruce?! Bruce?!

- Tina!
- Look who it is.

Hi, guys.
What-what are you doing here?

Oh, we're not allowed
to enjoy

a leisurely stroll
around the park?

Okay. Um, well, you haven't
seen Bruce, have you?

He usually comes
right up to me.

He's got to be here
somewhere.

Maybe I should speak
his language.

- Honk! Honk, honk! Honk!
- Hi. Hello.

- That's our sister.
- Honk, honk, honk, honk!

She'd better not be
saying stuff about us.

Hey, Gretch.

Oh, hi, Lin. I got a
message from the airport guy

that he's gonna come
with me to the wedding.

He said
he "liked my last message."

- Oh, boy.
- Oh!

That's great news!

You logged in as me and
wrote that guy, didn't you?

Okay. Yes, I did.

But it was a good thing,
because now you have a date.

Do you have an MBA, Linda?

'Cause you're all up
in my business.

Gretchen, you might want
to find a nice guy for real.

You know, for keeps.

How about this?
Goodbye for keeps!

Until you need
a haircut or a dye job!

But I'm not gonna give
you my friends discount,

because we're
not friends anymore!

- Oh, Gretchen, come on!
- You're the worst!

- Oh, get a...
- You're the worst!

Gretchen,
get away from the window!

Don't you throw that,
Gretchen!

I'm...
I'll do it, I swear!

Calm down, Gretchen!

Don't make us call the cops,
Gretchen!

- Go ahead! Call them! Attica!
- Huh!

You try to help someone,
and this is what you get.

- Attica! Attica! Attica!
- Lin, Gretchen is really scary right now,

but you also kind of
pushed her to this point.

- What?
- Attica!

- Attica! Don't eat here!
- Well, your help was trying

to make Gretchen not

- act like Gretchen.
- Don't eat here!

Kind of like what her
family is asking her to do.

- Hey, don't eat here!
- Oh, no. Bob,

- maybe you're right.
- Don't eat here. Don't eat here!

- I just wanted her to be happy.
- Attica!

- Attica!
- I mean, she was happy,

and now she wants to
break our restaurant.

Oh, thank God.
She's walking away.

That was terrifying.

Bruce? Bruce?

Where is he? Guess he's gone.

Sorry, T. Hey, you know
what'll cheer you up?

The Night of the Living Dance.

Come on,
let's get you there.

Fine. Whatever. I don't care.

Thattagirl.

Wow, even Frond
put on zombie makeup.

- No, I didn't.
- Oh.

- You're gonna be fine.
- Oh, look, Tina.

There's Jimmy Jr.
Looking pretty dapper

for an undead guy, huh?

Hi, Tina. I just want to say,

I, um...
I didn't ask you to the dance

because I was too
embarrassed to tell you.

I pulled my butt muscle
doing a very difficult move

from Save the Last Dance.

There. I said it.

It feels good not to hide
my butt stuff anymore.

This is bad. Jimmy Jr.
Is talking about his butt,

and Tina's too busy being
on Planet Goose to notice.

Anyway,
I can't really dance,

but I'd like to try.

With you.

Gene, help me
make her dance.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Ow.

- - Oh, my God!
- What the...

Bruce!

Goose on the loose!

- Get out of here!
- Don't!

You're scaring him!

Oh, no! He's stuck!

That goose is hooked!

He's stuck! My friendship
bracelet is hooked on something.

Why the heck is there
a goose in here?

If you have to ask,
then you don't get it.

- I-I'm-I'm gonna call Animal Control.
- What? No!

Yes. No goose is gonna ruin
a dance I'm chaperoning.

But what-what'll happen
to Bruce?

I don't know, Tina.

I didn't go to
Animal Control School.

I went to Harvard...
ton Community College.

Hey, Gretchen.

This is the one
I was telling you about.

- Mm-hmm.
- Gretchen, listen...

I can't hear you.
I'm blow-drying!

I'm gonna say it anyway!

I'm sorry I tried to make
you into someone you're not.

It's just 'cause I love you
and I want you to be happy.

But I realized you're
happy the way you are.

And... I have the perfect
wedding date for you.

Oh, yeah? Who?

- Me.
- You?

Yeah! I'm nice but I'm not boring.

And I-I like to drink.

- A lot.
- Mm-hmm.

Will you let me take you
to your sister's wedding?

Mm... Okay!

All right!

- Should we get a limo?
- Yeah, let's get a limo!

Let's get a limo!

Animal Control will be here shortly.

Bruce, I'm gonna climb up the
bleachers and get you down!

Oh, no, you are not! I'm
not adding a broken neck

to my list of problems tonight.

First, the DJ didn't
have any Tiffany songs,

- and then this goose...
- Jimmy Jr.!

Get down from there!

Ow. My butt. My butt.

J-Ju,
what a beautiful sacrifice.

Stop biting me, goose!

He's just scared!
Bruce, listen to me.

Honk, honk! Honk, honk, honk!

What's... happening?

I don't know!

Oh, my God, is it working?

Oh, no. It's biting him
more than before.

He's bleeding.

So, I'm just gonna reach in!

Bruce! You're okay!

Jimmy Jr., you saved him.

Yeah. You, uh, seemed
really upset, so...

- Mwah.
- Oh. Wow.

So, is your butt okay?

Oh!
It really hurts.

Should I take a look at it or...

Oh,
I-I don't know.

I guess I should probably
just go to the doctor.

Right, right, right.

Bruce, we shared a lot
of great times together.

A lot of laughs
and even a few tears.

And one kiss that I don't
really want to talk about.

But this relationship
can't last.

Listen, sometimes loving our
own species can be painful.

But maybe it's worth it
because it can also be amazing.

Come on, Tina.
Finish dumping your goose

so he can find someone new.

What about that one?

No, I know that duck.
Total diva.

What about those swans?

They're so cliquey, Dad.

Bruce,

over there.
Hot goose.

Let's see if you two get along.

Oh, wow.
You get along really well.

Slow down, guys.
You don't even know each other.

All right, let's go.
I got to get home

for my big date
with Gretchen.

I'm glad you're getting
back out there, Mom.

Hey, Dad, maybe we can
find you a park animal.

I like that
weird duck over there.

Who wouldn't?

? Bah-bah-bah,
bah-bah-bah-bah Bruce ?

? Bah-bah-bah, bah-bah
Bruce the Goose ?

? Bah-bah-bah,
bah-bah-bah-bah Bruce ?

? Bah-bah-bah, bah-bah
Bruce the Goose ?

? Kinda clingy, Bruce the Goose ?

? Tellin' stories
to Bruce the Goose ?

? Friends forever,
Bruce the Goose ?

? Secret kiss
with Bruce the Goose ?

? Ooh ?

? Bah-bah-bah,
bah-bah-bah-bah Bru... ?

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