All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s04e01 A River Runs Through Bob.eng

Ah!

Air!

Come on, kids. Get some of
that woodsy air in your lungs.

Oh,
that's pretty woodsy, right?

- Woodsiest I've ever smelled.
- Yeah.

My musk
will blend right in.

I'm pretty sure camping
isn't good for my...

I don't know, knees?

I've got a note
around here somewhere.

I'll write you a note
after I write myself one.

Come on, guys. It's not
Tina's fault she was sick

when her Thundergirl
troop went camping.

This way, you all get to go on
my make-up camping trip. Yay.

What do we know about camping?

We come from a family
of city dwellers.

We're all gonna die!

Hey, I know plenty
about camping.

I used to go camping,
once, when I was a kid.

It's great, from what
I remember. Plus,

what would you say if
I told you I'm carrying

a saw in my
pocket right now?

Is that what you said
when you met Mom?

Are those nail clippers?

It's my
Nature Master.

It's a multi-tool.

It does everything
nature requires.

Could it kill an eagle?

Why would we want
to kill an eagle?

I don't know.
They're so condescending.

Yes! We're killing eagles.

Actually, my Thundergirl
handbook says

to leave only
footprints,

so we probably
shouldn't kill anything.

We could go on
a 13-smilehike.

There's taking pictures
with your mind.

Consensual bird watching.

We don't have to do
any of that, do we, Bob?

No.

Hiya, folks.

You picked a great
weekend to camp.

You'll all be fine.

Um... great.

Wait,
why'd you say we'll all be fine?

Because you will.
You'll all be fine.

Just mind the river,
that's all.

It's, uh,
high this year.

But you'll be fine.
And your family will be fine.

Okay.

ThunderMint?

God, no. Keep those
in a sealed container.

We've had some aggressive
wildlife out here lately.

Bears?

No. Squirrels.
Seriously?

We've lost some good people
recently.

To the squirrels?
Bears.

What?

Kidding.
Budget cuts.

They've made a lot of budget
cuts and now it's just me.

People don't value the parks
and then they get what they get.

- Bob, this guy's freakin' me out.
- Shh. It's fun.

It's ranger humor.

Uh, so, we're gonna drive now,
so, thanks for everything.

Camp at your own risk.

State park motto.

Sir, I need you
to lift the gate.

Yeah, right, the gate.
Sure.

Yeah, you just sort of left.
Open.

Open sesame.
There you go.

Thank you.

Nature boner!

Mm, boing!

That's not what it is, Gene.

Come on. It's a rock.

It's a wang. Mount Wang.

William Archibald Wang,
a Chinese diplomat,

was the first
to summit that mountain.

William Wang,
what can't you do?

Where's he now?
Back in the city,

staying at a hotel
like a normal person.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Ooh!
What are those? Bees?

Oh, I hate 'em.
Great identification, Mom.

Thank you, Tina.

Wait, Bob, this is
all you packed?

Well, I mean, I packed
this, my Nature Master,

and I got two tents and
this cool camping stove

I borrowed from Teddy.
What about food?

And water?
And what about toiletries?

Well, there's
a river right there.

That's all the water you
could ever drink, you know?

- So we'll be fine for one day.
- Oh.

And the river's also
nature's grocery store.

That's where we get
all our food,

like fish and vegetables.

Vegetables?!
Yes. From upriver.

- Mac and cheese?
- And we'll make our own cheese.

We can do that
in the woods.

But how? I-I-I...

Because you
ferment the milk

from... I...
Look, people,

everything we need
is right here.

Or over there.

There's no line
for that food truck.

You know what? Fine.

I'm going to go
catch me a meal.

In that river.
With this.

We're gonna catch all the fish.

God, I love you.

Hi. I'm sorry
to bother you.

We're camping over there, and
my husband blew it on packing.

Can I borrow some crackers
or, you know, peanut butter?

You guys, you look so prepared.

You've got to be prepared
when civilization breaks down.

- Oh.
- Wait, why will civilization break down?

- Have you been to the post office lately?
- She knows.

That's right I know.
What does she know?

You know.
I know you know I know.

What happens at
the post office?

They seem organized.
He doesn't know.

He doesn't know anything.
What?

Perhaps you might be interested
in reading more about it

in our literature.

Oh! Okay. Huh.

Please...

borrow whatever you need.
Ooh.

That plus that plus that.
Oh, uh...

Wow.
I-I need my juice.

Okay. Well, enjoy our provisions
while you digest our truths.

Thank you so much.

Um, can I borrow some wine, too?

Wine helps me drink.

Come on, kids, let's go.

Mmm, mmm! Those kooks
make some good chili.

Bobby, you sure you
don't want any chili?

No.

I will be enjoying
the fish I caught.

That's a fish?

Yeah, Gene. It's a trout.

It's king of the river.

I can cut it up
if anyone wants to share.

You know, I'm not gonna...
be able to eat all this.

Dad, are you sure
you cooked it enough?

Tina, the worst thing you can do
is overcook a trout.

I wish I could cook it less.

Enjoy your goldfish,
wild man.

That's a lot of bones.
But with trout,

when you're as experienced
as I am...

you learn to use your mouth
to take the bones out.

Use the back of
your... throat.

Wow. They're asleep.
Must be the woodsy air.

Yeah. Crazy how kids
can fall asleep sober like that.

Mm. Hey, I read that there's
a warm spring around here.

Some people
skinny-dip there.

You want to,
uh, go find it?

A warm spring?
Don't you mean a hot spring?

Well, it said warm spring.

What about the kids?

They're fine.
We'll be close.

Okay, but if a deer sees me
naked, you can't get jealous.

What about the vest?

Oh, no, this guy stays on.

Oh, that's nice.

Ah.
Come on in.

Whoo!

Uh...

'Scuse me.
Oh, that's really trouty.

This is lukewarm at best.

They should call
it a tepid spring.

Really? 'Cause I'm, uh...

Wow. I'm boiling in here.

Oh, boy. I'm gonna, uh...
I'm just gonna use the restroom.

I mean, a tree. I mean,

- I got to get out of here.
- Hey, where you going? Come back to Mommy.

- No, not right now. Don't... Let go, Lin.
- Let's make this crappy little warm spring hot.

- Let go. Let go. I got to go to the bathroom.
- Come to Mommy. Come on. Give me your hand.

- Let go. Please, Lin. Definitely an emergency.
- Come to Mommy.

Let go! Oh! Oh!
Whoa, whoa. Oh! Oh!

What was that?

The loud sound?
Yeah.

Probably an owl?

Should one of us
go check it out?

Not me?
Guys, come on,

listen, it's nature.

We're not all gonna
make it tonight.

Safe, safe, goner.

Good night.

- Linda?!
- Bob!

Grab that branch!
Aah!

Aah!

This river is really fast!

Fastest I've ever seen!

You see lots
of fast rivers, Bob?

No! I'm just saying that
this is really fast, okay?

- Oh, what do you know?
- You're gonna argue with me now?!

Yes, now!

When we're flying 30 miles
an hour down a river?!

We made it.

What the hell
was that river's problem?

You stupid river!

I'm gonna sit down. Nope!

I'm gonna go over there
for a sec.

- Bob?
- Oh, boy.

Lin, look over there.
It's a pelican.

And Patrick Duffy.

Patrick Duffy?!
Where? I love Dallas.

Oh, he ran away.
Where'd you go?

I, uh, got a-a
walking stick.

That's why I went
behind that bush.

I didn't have diarrhea at all.
I love it out here.

Oh, God. There's got to be
a better stick back there.

I'll go find it. Oh!
Where are you, Bob? Bob?

There's the better stick
right there.

- I found it. Hey, Lin.
- Oh.

How do you l-like
my new walking stick?

That old one was so stupid
compared to this one.

This is the one I wanted.

Why does this vest smell
like puke and fish?

That's the smell
of a man.

A healthy camping man.

Camping's gross.

And we're friggin' lost.
You might be lost,

but I'm not lost.
I know the woods.

All we have to do is just follow
the river back to camp.

You sure about that,
Mr. Outdoors?

Yeah. We'll be in our tent
before the kids even wake up.

Good. We got to get to the
kids before wolves raise 'em.

It's my worst fear.
Little Wolf Gene.

I'd have to cut holes in
all the seats of his pants.

- Why?
- For the tail.

Why would we even dress him?

- He's a wolf.
- Because he'd still need to go to school

- and be loved by the other kids.
- But he'd be a... he wouldn't want

- to wear clothes. It doesn't...
- Just because he's different, Bob.

Do you know how much
money we would save, Lin?

I'm gonna put a breakfast order
in at the RV.

You guysant anything?
Where are Mom and Dad?

They're not in there?

Maybe they went
for a morning hike.

No.

Look. It's their clothes.

Oh, no!
Mom and Dad melted!

Things got a
little physical.

Signs of a struggle.
Clothes went off.

When these rocks gave
way and then whoosh.

Oh, my God. Mom and Dad
could be nude

dangling over the edge
of a cliff.

According to the Thundergirl
handbook, we should...

wait here for a person
of authority to arrive.

Can I see that page?
Sure.

Thank you.

We should tube down the
river and find Mom and Dad.

We should really tube.
Let's tube!

Yes, let's tube!
Why are we talking

when we should be tubing?

Isn't this stealing?

Nuh-uh, it's borrowing.

'Cause Thundergirls
don't steal.

Well, uh, we're borrowing.

Borrow everything
that isn't nailed down!

You're staying with me
until I put you on Dad myself!

Wait, let's tie
our tubes together

so we don't get separated.

Yeah, let's get our tubes tied!

Okay, let's whoosh.

Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!

Yeah!

Hey, look, it's Mount Wang!

Why does it look
so small?

Oh, crap.

We followed
the wrong river!

How did we do that?
This feeds

into that, and we
followed this all night.

- Oh...
- Oh, my God.

I feel sick.

Okay, okay. This is just
like when we forgot

where we parked at
the baseball game.

We'll do what we did then.

We walked back to the
entrance of the stadium

and then we
retraced our steps.

We got to go down
to this river again

and we come up the right river
to the campsite.

That's a dumb plan.
It will take too long.

Well, what do we do?!

The kids must be
worried sick about us.

We need to go
straight across.

Are you sure, Bobby?
Yes, I'm sure.

The right way is... that way?

That might not have sounded
like I'm sure but I'm sure.

All right;
You're the Nature Master.

We're coming
for you, kids!

We're coming
for you Mom and Dad!

Oh, I'm so hungry, Bobby.

Oh, my God, I ate an ant.
Oh, I just ate another one.

- Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm.
- Lin, what are you doing?

- Oh, they're not bad. Oh, look, a worm!
- Oh, don't eat...

Don't eat that... No...

Oh! Huh! Right there.
Come here, you little sucker.

- Come on!
- Don't eat a worm in front of me.

- Please, I don't want to see you eat a worm.
- Oh. Mmm. Come on.

- Try one, Bob.
- Get that way from me.

- Just a taste. Just a taste.
- Get it away.

Oh, why did we go camping?!

Huh. There's nothing in here
about finding lost parents.

Did you know there are eight
different ways to hold hands?

Tina! Stop reading
that stupid Thundergirl book!

I have something from the RV
I can read from.

"Apocatips for the Apocalypse."

- "Don't wait for nightfall to build shelter."
- That makes sense.

"Leave no trace. Shave off
your fingerprints."

Been saying that for years.

My feet don't
work anymore.

Carry me.
Oh, come on.

We got to get to the kids
before it gets dark.

Right, the kids. Second wind!

Didn't work.

Okay, I guess
we're stopping.

I'm just gonna lay down
for a sec,

recharge my battery, all right?

Oh, my God. We're gonna spend
another night in the woods?

Okay. We need a fire.
We got to make a fire.

Just, um...
put some wood on your face.

Bob, you're not making sense.

Don't say fish!

Oh, Bobby! Help!

Can anyone hear me?!
Patrick Duffy!

"Now that your shelter is built,
you must seal the perimeter.

Remember the 30 sticks you've
sharpened to a deadly point?"

Yeah.

"They will now be utilized."

Oh, I thought they were
for some kind of skit.

Thundergirls do skits
around the campfire.

What skit would that
possibly be for?

I don't know. You should
see some of the skits

that get produced.

Look at this part.
They say insects can

and should be weaponized.

"Beware of any organization
that rewards members

"with empty titles
or trinkets.

These are the wool
of the sheep." Hey, Tina,

you're looking a little sheepish
yourself right now.

My Thundergirl patches
aren't trinkets.

Though I did get this patch
for making trinkets.

We wouldn't be here
if it weren't

for your stupid
make-up trip.

And we've learned more
useful stuff in two hours

from this baby
than you've ever learned

from those brainwashing
Thundergirls.

I'm not brainwashed.

- Do you chant or repeat mantras?
- No.

I'm a Thundergirl.

I'm a Thundergirl.
I'm a Thundergirl.

Oh. Yes.

Shut up. Shut up!

Look over there.

We're not alone, guys.

It could be aggressive squirrels
worshipping fire.

It could be
Mom and Dad.

Either way,
grab a spear.

We're going in.

Rain, rain! Flash, flash!

Thundergirls wear
a thunder sash!

Oh, my God. That sounds like
Thundergirl troop number 39.

They won the regional chant-off.

Hello,
who's over there?

- We are!
- Yeah, we are!

Hey, you're a Thundergirl.

Yeah, she was.

Until shlearned
that organizations like this

are soul stealers!

I-I, I don't understand.
Did-did you get sep...

"Oh, I-I don't understand."
- Can I...

Just... Did you
get separated from your troop?

No. My troop got...
separated from... reality.

Thundergirls are a sham!
Yeah!

Lay it on 'em, Teen!

I used to be like you.
This morning.

I only cared
about sashes and patches.

Sashes and patches!

Then I woke up.

She woke the hell up!

Okay. Maybe you kids
should camp with us tonight.

We have plenty of food...

I'd rather die!

We don't need your food!
Or your lies.

Unless you have
some cookies!

And not the oatmeal ones!

Never the oatmeal ones!
Yeah!

Even if they have
chocolate chips in them,

they're still oatmeal!

The truth is,
y-you're all just cogs

in a cookie-sellining machine!
Right.

You're a cog, you're a cog,
you're definitely a cog.

You're more of a pawn.
What?

Honey, I think you're tired.
And you're kind of dirty.

I've never been more awake
and dirty in my life.

I hereby renounce
my Tenderheart-level membership

to the Thundergirls!

Yeah!

We're out of here!
Yeah,

and we're taking these.
And this one.

Good luck with your skit.
Thanks.

Oh, you're hogging
all the blankets.

- Come on. Get up. Come on.
- Hmm?

I'm leading us. Let's go.

What are you
talking about? Ow. Ow.

You're sick!
I'm not sick.

Then what the hell is that?
Wh-What?

I'll tell you what that is:

It's diarrhea and throw-up.

You're firing from both ends.

I studied the ballistics.
It checks out.

That was probably a bobcat.

Oh, okay. You didn't
eat a raw trout

that didn't make you poop and
barf your way through the forest

like some kind of disgusting
Hansel and Gretel.

I'm taking charge here!
We're gonna go!

- Come on! This way now!
- No. Not that way. It's this way.

You don't even know
what you're doing out here, Lin.

I don't know what I'm doing?
I fed myself ants and grubs

and I made
a wilderness hairbrush.

Doesn't work, but still.

Plus, you're sick, so let's go.
I'm Nature Master now.

You're never Nature Master!
I'm Nature Master!

I'll go back
to camp this way

and then we'll send help
for you!

Oh, come on.
Just stick with me.

You've got horrible
diarrhea, Bob.

You've got
horrible diarrhea, Bob!

Day one without the sash.

Whew. Got to figure out
who I am

and what I'm going to wear
diagonally

- across my chest.
- Seatbelt?

- Bandolier?
- Oh, yeah.

And tonight, we take
off your fingerprints.

All right, people,
let's move out!

Got to find the kids.

Got to beat Linda.

Need strength.

Got to find food.

Kids! Kids! Mommy's coming!

Whew!
I'm headed for the Wang!

I can see the tip!

Oh, Bobby, why do you gotta
be such a wang!

Is that... is that a nut?

What are you, an acorn?

If you're poisonous,
tell me now.

Hey!

Get back here with my nut,
you jerk.

Well, well, well.

It looks like the squirrel
has become the idiot.

Thanks for doing
the heavy lifting, squirrels.

Oh, boy.

Get away from me!

Get away from me! Aah!

Aah! Don't eat me!

I don't have the strength
to fight.

This is how I'm gonna die.

This is taking forever.

Hurry up and eat me.

Linda?!
That's my man!

You get your paws
off those nuts!

Hi-ya! Ah-wa! Ya! Ah-whoo!
You saved me!

Yeah, I missed
your stinky face.

Hoyou fein',
my little salmonella fella?

Uh... better. All empty.

Sorry I-I left you back there.
That was stupid.

Oh, Bobby.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, Linda... there are
two Nature Masters:

The one I left at camp...
I miss that one so bad...

but the other
Nature Master is you.

Aw.
This is a fishing pole,

this is a toothpick...
what the hell is this?

You got to get that
removed.

What?
That's, like, a huge wart.

Don't look at that. Stop it.

Come on, we got to
get back to camp.

Holy crap. We're here.

Kids!

Bobby, the kids are gone!

- What? What?
- They're in here!

Yeah, hurry.
We got fudge in here, too.

Fudge.

- Kids?
- Gene. Tina. Louise.

Where are you, babies?
Where-where are you?

Your kids aren't here.
And neither is the fudge.

- What?!
- Your kids stole the fudge.

Along with our inner tubes
and our travel backgammon set.

And a copy of our
survivalist guide.

Um, okay.
I'm sorry about that,

but where are they?
We need to find them.

We've been in the woods
for, like, 40 hours.

Well, we've been in the
woods for 40 months.

And we think you've got
what it takes to join us.

What do you say, Linda?

Did our literature
speak to you?

What?! Who cares
about any of that crud?

We need to find our kids!

Forget your kids.
They're floating

in very high quality
inner tubes down a river

eating fudge and
playing backgammon.

Um, all right, well, we're gonna
go to them now, okay?

Hold-hold on; Hold up.
Ooh, is this bear mace?

Why are you holding
bear mace in my face?

We need to know

that you are ready
to accept our invitation.

Okay...

Let's put on
our "Ritual of Trust" music.

I'll get the
trust lotion.

They're not here.
Now what?

Let's get a tiny bit more fudge.

Or a lot bit
more fudge.

? Everybody dance now

What the hell
is going on? What do we do?

Shh. I've got an idea
how to get us out of here.

Just follow my lead.

Okay! Here we go!

Let's lotion up. Yeah!

Great! You're the first ever
to agree to the Ritual of Trust.

This is gonna be so icy hot.

Oh, it sure is, hon.
Very sexual.

- Whew! Yes.
- I am looking forward to it.

Can I just use your tiny
restroom to freshen up?

Trust me, you don't want any
of this like this. Nah. Ew.

Yeah, we smell like ass.
Come on, Bobby.

? Ooh, yeah, you tell me...

- It's too small.
- Mom?

- Oh, my babies.
- Is that the kids?

What are
you guys doing?

Uh, trying to escape.

But not successfully.
Go get help.

Your father and I are being held
hostage by the horny hermits.

Hmm, I think I've got a plan.

A plan bee.

All right, Tina.
This is all you.

Just like unscrewing
a lightbulb.

Maybe this will help you.
My sash!

You knew I was always
a Thundergirl deep down

and would want it back.

No! This is satin, woman.

You don't just
throw away satin!

Maybe Thundergirls aren't
completely useless in the wild.

Maybe a bit
of Thundergirl resourcefulness

and a little bit of survivalist
weaponized insects

make for a perfect s'more
of ideas.

Turns out
I'm a Thunder-vivalist.

Tina, shush! Just do it!
Oh, yeah, sorry.

Uh! Uh!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Thundergirl in the hole!

Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Bees! Ooh!

- Whoa!
- They've weaponized insects!

They took a page
out of our own book.

Page 17.

Ow! I'm getting stung!

That was your plan?!

You're welcome.

I'll Mace them!

Oops.

Camping is fun!
Go, go. In the car!

Bobby, your stuff.
Forget the stuff!

Gene, grab my Nature Master.

Mm-hmm! Mm, mm, mm!

You can't Mace a guy!

Oh, well, you know
what else you can't do?

You can't take your wife
camping for 40 months!

You're right, honey.

Come here. Come over here.

Yeah.

Here, Tina.

It's a patch for keeping
Mom and Dad alive.

I don't think this'll count as
an official patch but thank you.

You did the Thundergirls
proud, honey.

And I never
left them ever.

- And no one can say I did.
- Dad,

your underpants.
Thank you.

Perfect underwear,
perfect weekend.

Uh, this isn't my underwear.

More underwear for me then.

? Rain! Rain! Flash! Flash!

? Thundergirls wear
a Thunder girl sash! ?

? Honor, friendship,
trust, integrity ?

? Ant Raid, sunscreen,
skits and jelly beans ?

? Thundergirls are bound
to sing this ?

? Song of nature,
friends and things ?

? I'll be a Thundergirl till
I'm six feet under, girl, uh! ?

? That's right, I'll be,
I'll be a Th... ?

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0