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1
00:00:22,477 --> 00:00:25,346
? I'm mining the cave for love
2
00:00:25,355 --> 00:00:28,357
? Don't care about
the world above ?
3
00:00:28,366 --> 00:00:30,483
? Down here it's dark and cold
4
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:32,508
? I'm just looking
for a nugget of gold ?
5
00:00:32,514 --> 00:00:35,032
? My hat is hard
but my heart is soft ?
6
00:00:35,074 --> 00:00:37,875
? It's dusty down here
and so I cough ?
7
00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:40,286
? It's a dirty job
but I ain't stoppin' ?
8
00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:42,327
? I know I'm breathin' toxins
but you're lookin' foxin' ?
9
00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:44,734
? Will you be mine?
10
00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:47,243
? Coal mine
11
00:00:47,269 --> 00:00:49,437
? Will you be mine?
12
00:00:49,444 --> 00:00:50,727
? Diamond...
13
00:00:50,731 --> 00:00:52,682
Hey, I was watching that.
14
00:00:52,689 --> 00:00:54,874
Bad enough I'm being forced
to go to their concert.
15
00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:56,715
It's like I'm going
to the electric chair
16
00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:58,922
and you're making me watch
videos of the electric chair.
17
00:00:58,929 --> 00:01:00,429
Louise, you be nice.
18
00:01:00,434 --> 00:01:01,952
Your Aunt Gayle got you
those tickets
19
00:01:01,957 --> 00:01:03,224
and she's excited to take you.
20
00:01:03,261 --> 00:01:04,928
I'm super excited.
21
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,768
I've been practicing
my concert scream all week.
22
00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,609
Ah...
23
00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:10,916
Ah... Still ne...
might need some work.
24
00:01:10,923 --> 00:01:13,825
Why would you waste a scream
on a stupid boy band?
25
00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,501
Screams are for roller coasters
26
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:17,875
or axe murderers
or Dad's morning breath.
27
00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:19,166
Hey, it's not that bad.
28
00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:20,537
Oh, whew!
29
00:01:20,575 --> 00:01:22,509
Brush your teeth.
I did.
30
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,900
Well, then,
help me look for my keys.
31
00:01:23,904 --> 00:01:25,004
I've told you to stop
putting stuff in there
32
00:01:25,008 --> 00:01:26,015
if you ever want to see it again.
33
00:01:26,046 --> 00:01:27,546
You put my baby brother in there
34
00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:29,552
and that was the last
we saw of him!
35
00:01:29,559 --> 00:01:32,127
Javier Belcher, I love you!
36
00:01:32,169 --> 00:01:34,053
I'm serious.
We're gonna be late
37
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:35,276
for Gene's table-setting
competition.
38
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,747
Ugh.
Do I really have to?
39
00:01:36,752 --> 00:01:38,486
I-I'd rather go to
the boy band concert.
40
00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:41,794
Bob, one of our kids is actually
participating in something.
41
00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:43,839
We're going,
even if it's table-setting.
42
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,729
It's table-scaping.
43
00:01:45,735 --> 00:01:48,470
And it's the most exciting
competition on four legs.
44
00:01:48,512 --> 00:01:50,647
It combines accurate
table-setting placement
45
00:01:50,654 --> 00:01:52,605
with creative themes and costumes.
46
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:55,029
I'm sure it's much more exciting
than it sounds.
47
00:01:55,037 --> 00:01:56,771
It has to be. Right?
48
00:01:56,776 --> 00:01:58,427
Gene, how did you even end up going
49
00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,073
to the regionals
in table-setting, anyway?
50
00:02:01,209 --> 00:02:02,526
It was the only non-athletic
51
00:02:02,564 --> 00:02:03,965
after-school activity,
52
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:05,370
and I creamed the competition.
53
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:07,043
As you can see,
54
00:02:07,048 --> 00:02:09,716
my tablecloth is a trash bag.
Mm-hmm.
55
00:02:09,757 --> 00:02:12,726
Please enjoy this gar-beverage.
Amusing.
56
00:02:12,736 --> 00:02:14,270
And when the meal is over,
57
00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:16,843
you can deposit your dirty
silverware in the truck
58
00:02:16,851 --> 00:02:18,185
to head to the dump.
59
00:02:18,189 --> 00:02:19,422
Beep! Beep!
60
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:23,635
Our theme is twin dinner.
Twinner!
61
00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:24,909
Two knives.
Two forks.
62
00:02:24,913 --> 00:02:26,112
Two napkins.
63
00:02:26,135 --> 00:02:27,569
Two plates...
Congratulations, Gene.
64
00:02:27,574 --> 00:02:28,741
You're going to regionals.
65
00:02:28,778 --> 00:02:30,312
All right!
66
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,350
Mmm.
67
00:02:31,354 --> 00:02:32,955
Gene, if you like
setting tables so much,
68
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,727
why don't you set tables
at the restaurant?
69
00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:35,941
Or here?
70
00:02:35,971 --> 00:02:37,338
No, Dad.
71
00:02:37,343 --> 00:02:38,743
I don't set where I eat.
72
00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:41,294
Where's Aunt Gayle?
73
00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:42,758
It's my first concert.
74
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:43,997
I want to hurry up
and start remembering
75
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:45,308
this moment for
the rest of my life.
76
00:02:45,340 --> 00:02:46,607
Maybe Aunt Gayle realized
77
00:02:46,611 --> 00:02:47,944
that she's a 42-yeldaroman
78
00:02:47,949 --> 00:02:49,416
and she shouldn't be
into boy bands?
79
00:02:50,642 --> 00:02:51,909
Hello?
80
00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:54,382
Hi, Aunt Gayle.
Are you outside?
81
00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:55,756
An emergency?
82
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,028
Emergency?
83
00:02:57,032 --> 00:02:58,266
Okay, yeah...
84
00:02:58,271 --> 00:02:59,855
I-I understand.
Bye.
85
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,894
Give me the bad news.
Give me the bad news!
86
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:03,435
Aunt Gayle pepper-sprayed
one of her cats
87
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,840
because she thought
he was an intruder
88
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,613
trying to sexually assault her.
89
00:03:06,618 --> 00:03:09,637
She has to take him to the vet
and we have to miss the concert.
90
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,114
Yeah!
91
00:03:11,152 --> 00:03:13,120
This is the best thing
Aunt Gayle's done
92
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,961
since she pooped her pants at
the cell phone store last year.
93
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:17,804
Ugh, my heart
just pooped its pants.
94
00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:23,088
Wow. Lots of people.
95
00:03:23,129 --> 00:03:24,296
I didn't realize that table-setting
96
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,517
was such a big deal.
'Scaping!
97
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,206
Check out those trophies.
98
00:03:27,211 --> 00:03:30,230
Ooh, and judges
with buttons that say "judge."
99
00:03:30,272 --> 00:03:32,840
Well, got to get cracking
if I'm gonna win first place.
100
00:03:32,848 --> 00:03:35,116
You know, honey,
it's okay if you don't win.
101
00:03:35,124 --> 00:03:37,976
Yeah, Gene, I mean, win or lose,
we're just proud that...
102
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,652
you're setting a table
at the competitive level.
103
00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:42,562
Ooh, mini croissants!
104
00:03:42,568 --> 00:03:45,370
No matter what I say,
stop me when I've had 16.
105
00:03:45,412 --> 00:03:48,197
So, now that we're not
going to the concert,
106
00:03:48,206 --> 00:03:49,439
what should we do first?
107
00:03:52,019 --> 00:03:53,820
All right, I'll give it a shot.
108
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,455
Is this it?
109
00:03:58,461 --> 00:03:59,627
Yeah, that's good.
110
00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,469
Okay! I hate this.
111
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,009
Come on, Tina, cheer up.
112
00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:05,915
It's four lame boys who dance.
113
00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:07,789
There's so much more
out there in the world.
114
00:04:07,795 --> 00:04:09,028
No, there isn't!
115
00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:10,600
Ugh, it's no fun having you down
116
00:04:10,606 --> 00:04:12,507
if I'm not the one
who got you there.
117
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,779
I'm sorry.
118
00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:15,017
Fine. I'm not a monster.
119
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,289
I'll help you.
120
00:04:16,293 --> 00:04:17,593
What do you mean?
121
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,999
I mean I'll get you to the concert.
122
00:04:19,003 --> 00:04:21,337
- I'll get you there.
- How?
123
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,230
Are you sure we can
bike all the way there
124
00:04:23,236 --> 00:04:24,819
by the time the concert starts?
125
00:04:24,824 --> 00:04:27,209
Not if we keep
chitchatting like this.
126
00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:28,334
Oh, here's the freeway.
127
00:04:28,371 --> 00:04:30,806
Once we merge, get in
the fast lane, okay?
128
00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,230
And we'll get there in no time.
129
00:04:32,269 --> 00:04:33,535
What?
130
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,472
Zeke?
What are you doing here?
131
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,246
Me and my cousin Leslie
are going to sell
132
00:04:41,252 --> 00:04:43,070
some bootleg T-shirts and hot dogs
133
00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:44,417
at the Boyz 4 Now concert.
134
00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:45,797
Boom. Whatcha letcha.
135
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:49,038
Ha! Check it out.
One size fits all.
136
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,016
Damn, this one says my
card's declined, too.
137
00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:52,288
Zeke, you have any money?
138
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,893
Nah, my white ass is broke.
139
00:04:53,932 --> 00:04:55,466
Hey, I've got gas money.
140
00:04:55,471 --> 00:04:57,105
You got room for two
more in that buggy?
141
00:04:57,145 --> 00:04:59,446
You slip me a fiver,
I'll be your driver.
142
00:04:59,453 --> 00:05:00,687
Leslie loves rhymes.
143
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,391
And pasta that comes in cans.
144
00:05:02,397 --> 00:05:05,232
If it ain't from a can,
it don't go in this man.
145
00:05:07,505 --> 00:05:09,701
I've never ridden with
this many hot dogs before.
146
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:11,208
A day of firsts.
147
00:05:11,213 --> 00:05:13,047
Watch out. You squish 'em,
you bought 'em.
148
00:05:13,053 --> 00:05:14,337
Boyz 4 Now, here we come.
149
00:05:14,341 --> 00:05:15,802
Don't squish it!
150
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,419
So who's your favorite
Boy 4 Now?
151
00:05:19,425 --> 00:05:21,926
Griffin's the hot one.
And he's super extreme.
152
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:23,435
His dog is a wolf.
153
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:24,740
Stop.
And then there's Allen.
154
00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:26,845
He's cute but shy.
His fans are called
155
00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:28,670
Allen-coholics.
Ugh.
156
00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,710
My stepmom's an Allen-coholic.
And a shopaholic.
157
00:05:30,717 --> 00:05:31,934
Double trouble!
158
00:05:31,971 --> 00:05:33,221
This is Matt.
159
00:05:33,225 --> 00:05:34,526
He's moody and a little older.
160
00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:35,731
I think, like, 17.
161
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,120
Maybe his mustache is 17,
but he's 90.
162
00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:39,378
And then there's Boo Boo.
163
00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:41,566
He's young
but crazy good at dancing.
164
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,424
I used to be a real
Boo Boo Booster,
165
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,981
but now I'm kind of into Griffin.
166
00:05:44,986 --> 00:05:46,319
Ugh, stop talking!
167
00:05:46,324 --> 00:05:48,275
Stop. Stop.
168
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,783
- Okay, I'm gonna put my fist in your mouth.
- Okay.
169
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,282
Oh, Marilyn.
Tragic beauty.
170
00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:01,290
I love your son's table.
171
00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:02,429
Hi.
172
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:04,001
Aw. Thank you.
173
00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:05,874
Magic. Hmm.
174
00:06:05,914 --> 00:06:07,548
Uh, what's "hmm"?
175
00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:09,320
Your table's cute.
176
00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:12,028
But only one person can
take home the Golden Plate.
177
00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:14,537
And we sure didn't come
to take home the Silver Spoon.
178
00:06:14,579 --> 00:06:16,580
Yeah, well, we ne...
neither did we.
179
00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:17,854
- Right.
- Yeah.
180
00:06:17,858 --> 00:06:19,074
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
181
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,080
Oh, please.
Come on, Oscar.
182
00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:22,704
You've still got
a crying Joe DiMaggio
183
00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:24,209
to carve out of butter.
184
00:06:24,214 --> 00:06:25,831
- Bye, guys. Good luck.
- Don't talk to them!
185
00:06:25,837 --> 00:06:27,471
Gene, get back to
work on your table.
186
00:06:27,476 --> 00:06:29,010
You've got to win.
187
00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:31,317
I thought you said it was okay
if I didn't win.
188
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:32,825
Well, that was before
we met that idiot.
189
00:06:32,830 --> 00:06:34,097
Now, chop-chop.
190
00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:35,768
Ooh, Dad, you got the fever!
191
00:06:35,774 --> 00:06:37,175
'Scaping fever!
192
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,846
Whoo!
Can't escape the 'scape!
193
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:40,186
Let's do this!
Yeah!
194
00:06:44,907 --> 00:06:48,510
Ugh, no wonder no one likes women.
195
00:06:48,521 --> 00:06:50,422
All right, see you after the show.
196
00:06:50,428 --> 00:06:51,662
Be careful.
197
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,567
There's a lot of puberty in there.
198
00:06:53,573 --> 00:06:55,241
I can't believe I'm here.
It's really happening.
199
00:06:55,246 --> 00:06:56,579
I feel light-headed.
200
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,252
Whoa! No fainting!
201
00:06:58,258 --> 00:07:00,259
I don't think I'm strong
enough to go in there alone.
202
00:07:00,265 --> 00:07:01,532
I need you to come with me.
203
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:03,236
Fine.
204
00:07:03,242 --> 00:07:05,277
I'll get you to your seat
so you don't get trampled,
205
00:07:05,284 --> 00:07:07,118
but then I am out of there.
206
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,072
What is wrong with all of you?
207
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:14,446
They're just boys!
208
00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:15,734
Boys? Where?
209
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,873
Oh, come on.
210
00:07:17,914 --> 00:07:19,147
Hello, young man.
211
00:07:19,185 --> 00:07:20,919
What can you tell me
about your table?
212
00:07:20,925 --> 00:07:22,208
Oh, well...
213
00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:24,847
Wait, what's that behind your ear?
214
00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:26,357
Is this your place card?
215
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,430
Oh! Oh, my!
216
00:07:28,469 --> 00:07:30,370
Now, please, take your seat.
217
00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:32,777
Allow me to put
your napkin on your lap.
218
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:34,052
Ah...?
219
00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:35,758
Very clever.
220
00:07:35,763 --> 00:07:38,097
Oh, I seem to have
forgotten my centerpiece.
221
00:07:38,104 --> 00:07:39,371
Or did I?
222
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,944
Eh?
223
00:07:40,949 --> 00:07:43,700
And what menu would you serve
with this setting?
224
00:07:43,743 --> 00:07:45,911
For the entr�e,
you'll pull a roasted rabbit
225
00:07:45,918 --> 00:07:47,752
out of your top hat plate.
226
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,726
Served with
abracadab-braised potatoes
227
00:07:50,735 --> 00:07:53,404
and ice cream shazamwiches
for dessert!
228
00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:54,412
Oh!
229
00:07:54,416 --> 00:07:55,449
She's smiling.
230
00:07:55,452 --> 00:07:56,619
I think it's going well.
231
00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:58,625
He looks good.
He looks loose.
232
00:07:58,631 --> 00:08:00,999
I'm pleased to announce
our four finalists:
233
00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:03,241
Melissa Brown, Oscar Anthony...
234
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:04,783
I did it! I did it!
235
00:08:04,821 --> 00:08:06,154
...Heather Smith
236
00:08:06,158 --> 00:08:07,575
and Gene Belcher.
237
00:08:07,597 --> 00:08:09,481
- Yay!
- Yay!
238
00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:11,071
Wait, why are there four winners?
239
00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:13,045
Finalists, please report
to your table
240
00:08:13,051 --> 00:08:15,819
and begin assembling
your second original display.
241
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,062
Second display?
242
00:08:17,066 --> 00:08:18,633
If you thought
our first table was good,
243
00:08:18,638 --> 00:08:20,205
which you did...
No, we didn't.
244
00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:22,145
...just wait until
you see our second one.
245
00:08:22,152 --> 00:08:24,019
I don't want to give anything away,
246
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:27,227
but we're about to take a
rocket ship out of this world.
247
00:08:27,271 --> 00:08:29,772
So it's space-themed?
I can't say.
248
00:08:29,779 --> 00:08:31,697
Well, it is.
You just basically said it.
249
00:08:31,704 --> 00:08:33,938
- I'll never tell.
- Plus, I didn't think your first table was good.
250
00:08:33,945 --> 00:08:36,547
I graciously disrespect
your answer.
251
00:08:36,588 --> 00:08:38,289
Well, wait till you see
what we got, okay?
252
00:08:38,327 --> 00:08:39,611
I'm busy then.
Well, you're gonna have
253
00:08:39,616 --> 00:08:40,716
to look at it if you're here.
254
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,471
I'm double-parked.
255
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:43,744
Okay, finalists.
256
00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:46,133
On your mark, get set, set.
257
00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:48,075
All right, Gene, what have you got?
258
00:08:48,081 --> 00:08:50,516
It better be bigger and more
impressive than outer space.
259
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:52,290
Or Marilyn in space.
Marilyn in space.
260
00:08:52,296 --> 00:08:55,064
I didn't know there was
supposed to be a second display.
261
00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:56,174
- What?!
- Uh...
262
00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:57,311
Did you read the rules, Gene?
263
00:08:57,348 --> 00:08:59,133
No! There were 16 pages.
264
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,024
I only got up to the part
that said no open-toed shoes.
265
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:04,067
What are we gonna do?
We can't lose.
266
00:09:04,073 --> 00:09:07,075
We've come too far.
Come too far? Come too far?!
267
00:09:07,084 --> 00:09:10,103
We haven't come too far, Lin!
We're just getting started!
268
00:09:10,113 --> 00:09:12,781
- Okay, so what are we gonna do?!
- Why am I talking like this?!
269
00:09:12,789 --> 00:09:14,907
- I don't know! Why am I tal...
- I think I'm excited!
270
00:09:14,913 --> 00:09:17,281
- Oh, God!
- This is weird! We got to win it!
271
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:18,773
- Let's win it!
- What?
272
00:09:18,778 --> 00:09:21,696
I'm wearing open-toed shoes.
Ah, shoot.
273
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:23,439
Boyz 4 Now!
274
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,931
Boyz 4 Now! Boyz 4 Now!
275
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,142
Okay, Teen, I think you're all set.
276
00:09:29,149 --> 00:09:31,150
Um, I'm gonna get out of here.
277
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:33,157
So, I'll see you later,
okay, buddy?
278
00:09:33,164 --> 00:09:35,366
Good evening, ladies and girls!
279
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:37,173
Are you ready?
280
00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:42,393
You know them, you love them!
281
00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:43,632
What are they?
282
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:47,990
Boyz... 4... Now!
283
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:50,387
Boyz 4 Now! Boyz 4 Now!
284
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:52,246
I hope those
are the kinds of lasers
285
00:09:52,252 --> 00:09:54,153
that slice people in half.
286
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:56,777
Please welcome... Allen!
287
00:09:58,408 --> 00:10:00,075
Holy crap.
288
00:10:02,373 --> 00:10:04,924
Griffin!
289
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:09,993
Lot of wires. Not quite
creating the illusion.
290
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,002
You guys seeing this?
Right there!
291
00:10:12,008 --> 00:10:14,259
Matt!
292
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,934
Uh-oh. Sky Grandpa!
293
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,541
And Boo Boo!
294
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,950
This is terrible.
295
00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:24,914
Who let all
these pretty girls in here?
296
00:10:27,315 --> 00:10:29,316
? I want to hear your secrets ?
297
00:10:29,322 --> 00:10:31,824
? I'm so interested in you ?
298
00:10:39,611 --> 00:10:42,045
Boo Boo!
299
00:10:42,052 --> 00:10:45,449
Oh, my God, who the frig am I?!
300
00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:49,416
? Will you be mine? Coal mine
301
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,185
You're gonna miss
Allen's poetry solo.
302
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:59,536
You do not like a boy.
You do not like a boy!
303
00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:02,533
Especially a boy named...
Boo Boo.
304
00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:04,926
Aw. Aah! Stop it!
305
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,502
Oh, God!
Get a hold of yourself!
306
00:11:09,651 --> 00:11:10,985
Aah! No!
307
00:11:19,538 --> 00:11:21,923
Ah, Boo Boo's so cute.
308
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:25,532
Cute? He's the reason faces
were invented, you idiot!
309
00:11:26,815 --> 00:11:30,284
? I need to show you a secret
310
00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:33,718
? It's gonna be a surprise
311
00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:36,625
? Come a little bit closer
312
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:40,070
? Let me whisper in your eyes
313
00:11:40,114 --> 00:11:43,367
? When I whisper in your eyes
314
00:11:43,376 --> 00:11:46,444
? Don't think, don't blink
315
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:49,273
Hey, girl, shh. Shush.
316
00:11:49,315 --> 00:11:51,683
Close your lips and open your eyes.
317
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:55,543
I want your eyes to hear my lips
and also my eyes...
318
00:11:55,588 --> 00:11:57,039
Oh, my God!
319
00:11:57,043 --> 00:11:58,777
Tina. Tina!
I thought you were leaving.
320
00:11:58,783 --> 00:12:00,167
Change of plans.
321
00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:02,256
I need to talk to you.
I have questions.
322
00:12:02,297 --> 00:12:03,880
Tell me about the band again.
323
00:12:03,885 --> 00:12:05,686
- But in the car, you didn't want to...
- Tell me!
324
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,293
Well, Allen...
Next!
325
00:12:07,298 --> 00:12:09,015
- Um, Griffin's...
- Yeah, sure, Griffin, Griffin.
326
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,488
Uh-huh-huh. Next!
327
00:12:10,493 --> 00:12:12,061
Okay, Matt...
Next!
328
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:13,538
Well, that leaves Boo Boo.
329
00:12:13,554 --> 00:12:14,855
Oh, really?
That's interesting.
330
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,260
Tell me more.
What about Boo Boo?
331
00:12:16,264 --> 00:12:17,531
Boo Boo's the youngest.
332
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,120
And he's got a really great voice,
333
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:21,165
but he hasn't hit puberty yet,
so that could change.
334
00:12:21,183 --> 00:12:23,267
What's he into? Sports?
I could get into sports.
335
00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:24,774
What the hell else does he like?
336
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,030
I want to give him things.
337
00:12:26,084 --> 00:12:28,119
Whoa, Louise. You like Boo Boo?
338
00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:30,077
What?! No, Tina, that's...
339
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,967
Okay, right, like, I like a boy.
340
00:12:31,973 --> 00:12:34,558
That's... Ugh!
Do you think he might like me?
341
00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:36,483
Oh, my God, what's happened to me?!
342
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,690
Cut me open! I'm infected!
Pull it out!
343
00:12:38,697 --> 00:12:41,149
It's okay, Louise.
You're just having a crush.
344
00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:42,641
Never! Boo Boo!
345
00:12:42,646 --> 00:12:45,097
Oh, my God, you are
sick, Louise Belcher.
346
00:12:45,105 --> 00:12:46,656
You are sick!
347
00:12:46,661 --> 00:12:48,528
I'm going to get you through this.
348
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,001
Tell me what you like
about Boo Boo.
349
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,790
Nothing. Everything.
I don't know.
350
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:52,830
Do you like his hair?
351
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,383
You mean those soft blond bangs
352
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:56,474
you want to hide under
like an umbrella on a rainy day?
353
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,097
No, not really.
354
00:12:58,103 --> 00:12:59,487
And his face?
355
00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:00,825
Ew, gross, it's so gorgeous!
356
00:13:00,829 --> 00:13:02,714
I just want to slap it.
I want to slap it.
357
00:13:02,753 --> 00:13:05,421
I just want to slap
his hideous, beautiful face.
358
00:13:05,463 --> 00:13:07,181
Um, you mean kiss?
359
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,520
No, I mean slap.
360
00:13:08,525 --> 00:13:10,159
Whoa. You got it bad, girl.
361
00:13:10,197 --> 00:13:11,397
Okay, I read the rules.
362
00:13:11,436 --> 00:13:12,669
It says here you can use anything
363
00:13:12,707 --> 00:13:14,958
you brought with you.
So brainstorm. Go.
364
00:13:14,998 --> 00:13:16,966
Hmm... hmm-hmm-hmm.
Oh, I got it!
365
00:13:16,973 --> 00:13:19,641
We could shave Dad,
glue his hair to the table,
366
00:13:19,649 --> 00:13:21,317
and the theme could be
"That's Nasty."
367
00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:22,756
Let's steal another kid's display.
368
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,112
What?! Bob, no.
369
00:13:24,116 --> 00:13:26,100
Okay, not that.
We don't have to cheat.
370
00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:28,108
But we have to win,
by probably not cheating.
371
00:13:28,147 --> 00:13:29,815
Oh, ew, Bob, your breath.
Take a mint.
372
00:13:29,821 --> 00:13:31,788
You can smell it all
the way over there?
373
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,962
I don't know what's wrong
with me. Maybe I'm dying.
374
00:13:33,969 --> 00:13:35,403
That's it! Mom's purse.
Dump it out!
375
00:13:35,408 --> 00:13:36,675
Yeah, Lin, there's got to be
376
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:38,213
all sorts of stuff in there.
377
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,968
- Let's take a look.
- All right, dump it.
378
00:13:40,025 --> 00:13:42,239
That's where all
my wadded tissues went.
379
00:13:42,249 --> 00:13:44,050
Start making piles of stuff
that could go together.
380
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:45,990
Eh... okay, I got one.
381
00:13:46,031 --> 00:13:48,699
Lipstick, pepper spray,
tiny bag of carrots.
382
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:49,790
What's the theme?
383
00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,395
Uh, "Woman of the Night."
384
00:13:51,434 --> 00:13:54,352
She gets dressed up, she kills
a john, she has a snack.
385
00:13:54,361 --> 00:13:56,329
Uh, let's keep making piles.
386
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,369
? Tell me
387
00:13:58,376 --> 00:14:01,578
? About every single time
you've cried ?
388
00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,673
? The first time
389
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,147
? Oh, when your goldfish died.
390
00:14:06,155 --> 00:14:07,155
This is amazing.
391
00:14:07,159 --> 00:14:08,242
Eight encores.
392
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:09,246
They usually only do seven.
393
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,500
Shut up!
394
00:14:10,505 --> 00:14:11,977
Why would you talk during a song?
395
00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:13,093
Please be quiet, Tina.
396
00:14:16,694 --> 00:14:18,278
What? They can't be done.
397
00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:20,234
I'm not done!
398
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,512
Where are they going?
399
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:22,879
Backstage.
400
00:14:22,883 --> 00:14:24,100
They probably
have backstage passes.
401
00:14:24,138 --> 00:14:25,222
Uh, let's go do that.
402
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:26,926
But we don't have passes.
403
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:29,266
Tina, did you learn nothing
from the Boyz 4 Now song,
404
00:14:29,274 --> 00:14:31,943
"Girl, You Don't Need
a Backstage Pass"?
405
00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:34,552
Wish kid, fatal strep
throat, coming through.
406
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,927
Nope.
407
00:14:35,932 --> 00:14:37,833
I'm detective Brenda Lee Johnson.
408
00:14:37,873 --> 00:14:39,540
There's been a murder backstage.
409
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,645
No one gets through the door.
410
00:14:41,954 --> 00:14:43,388
Look, I get it.
411
00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:44,827
I'd love to let you back there.
412
00:14:44,832 --> 00:14:46,599
I can see the pain in your face.
413
00:14:46,605 --> 00:14:48,473
That pain doesn't go away;
It only gets worse.
414
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:49,946
Don't get older.
415
00:14:49,951 --> 00:14:52,541
Hot dogs. No, no, wait.
416
00:14:52,577 --> 00:14:54,244
Oh, yep, yep, this one's hot.
417
00:14:54,249 --> 00:14:55,950
We're ready to go, Zeke.
418
00:14:55,956 --> 00:14:57,290
Where's Leslie?
419
00:14:57,328 --> 00:14:59,046
He's using his shirt money to buy
420
00:14:59,051 --> 00:15:01,385
an endangered box turtle
from the tour bus driver.
421
00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:03,061
Tour bus?
422
00:15:03,066 --> 00:15:04,950
But whatever you do, don't
feed him after midnight.
423
00:15:04,956 --> 00:15:06,657
Just kidding. He doesn't
know what time it is.
424
00:15:06,663 --> 00:15:07,729
What is he, wearing a watch?
425
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:08,967
Hey, cuz.
426
00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:10,838
Look who just joined the family.
427
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,346
He lives in a shell
and he's cute as hell.
428
00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:14,754
Cool.
429
00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:16,994
Hey, bus driver, what other
endangered animals you got in there?
430
00:15:17,034 --> 00:15:18,601
Well, I got an African egg frog.
431
00:15:18,606 --> 00:15:19,973
I got a horseshoe bat.
432
00:15:20,012 --> 00:15:22,235
Got a skink and a skunk.
Got a bush baby...
433
00:15:22,253 --> 00:15:24,538
- How much you want for that bush baby?
- Not for sale.
434
00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:26,746
- Come on.
- But buy the skink, I'll throw in the skunk.
435
00:15:27,924 --> 00:15:30,042
I want Griffin to sign
the inside of my eyelids,
436
00:15:30,049 --> 00:15:32,166
so he's the last thing
I see before I go to bed.
437
00:15:32,173 --> 00:15:33,946
What are you going
to ask Boo Boo to sign?
438
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:36,265
Oh, no, Tina. I don't want
Boo Boo's signature.
439
00:15:36,272 --> 00:15:38,273
I told you, I want to slap him.
440
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,147
I don't know if he'll like that.
441
00:15:40,153 --> 00:15:41,937
That's why it has to be
a surprise attack.
442
00:15:41,943 --> 00:15:44,232
We need to find some place
to burst out of.
443
00:15:44,269 --> 00:15:46,620
In there?
Uh, great idea,
444
00:15:46,627 --> 00:15:49,028
but just in case we
aren't six inches tall,
445
00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:52,022
how about in... there?
446
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:54,549
- Ah, smells horrible in here.
- Yeah.
447
00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:56,323
It would be terrible
if these smells got stuck
448
00:15:56,329 --> 00:15:57,930
to the inside
of my nostrils and I would
449
00:15:57,936 --> 00:16:00,154
have to smell this sweaty
sweatband forever.
450
00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:03,055
I think they're coming.
451
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,155
I'll slap Boo Boo in the face,
452
00:16:04,193 --> 00:16:05,893
and we'll be on our way.
453
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,332
Crush crushed.
454
00:16:07,370 --> 00:16:08,771
Whew. Great show, guys.
455
00:16:08,776 --> 00:16:10,243
Yeah. We caused a lot
of smiles tonight.
456
00:16:10,248 --> 00:16:11,698
Totally.
457
00:16:11,703 --> 00:16:13,487
Settle in guys.
We've got an overnighter.
458
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:16,617
I think we're moving.
459
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:17,621
Oh, my God.
460
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:18,792
We're going on tour.
461
00:16:18,796 --> 00:16:21,157
Slapabama, here we come.
462
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:26,866
Should we jump out now?
463
00:16:26,871 --> 00:16:28,572
What's the protocol
in this situation?
464
00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:30,546
Maybe you shouldn't
rush into this, Louise.
465
00:16:30,552 --> 00:16:32,186
We could just live in here forever.
466
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,658
All right, Boo Boo.
467
00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,263
We got to strap you
into your booster seat.
468
00:16:35,303 --> 00:16:36,702
No! I don't wanna!
469
00:16:36,707 --> 00:16:38,575
When you hit 80 pounds,
470
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,432
you can sit in a big boy seat.
No!
471
00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:42,756
Guys, why don't you sing the song?
472
00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:44,798
? Gettin' into
your booster seat ?
473
00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:48,040
? From your big boy head
to your big boy feet ?
474
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:50,518
? Gettin' into your booster seat...
? What the hell is going on?
475
00:16:50,526 --> 00:16:51,659
I don't know.
476
00:16:51,663 --> 00:16:53,297
Is "booster seat" code for drugs?
477
00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,671
? From my big boy head
to my big boy feet ?
478
00:16:55,678 --> 00:16:56,690
Boo Boo!
479
00:16:57,702 --> 00:16:59,336
Ah! It's a girl!
480
00:16:59,342 --> 00:17:01,376
A girl saw me in my booster seat!
481
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:03,300
Don't look at me!
482
00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:06,445
- Stop the bus, Jody.
- No, Jody,
483
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,235
don't stop the bus.
Who said that?
484
00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:10,042
No one.
You were just thinking it.
485
00:17:10,048 --> 00:17:12,199
- We got another one in the hamper.
- Stopping the bus.
486
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,400
Hi. I'm Tina, your new roadie.
487
00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:15,998
Do I have something on my face?
488
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,164
Just kidding.
I know it's five sweatbands.
489
00:17:18,178 --> 00:17:19,964
We'll let you off
at this rest stop up ahead.
490
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:22,973
Hey, use the phone.
Call your parents.
491
00:17:22,979 --> 00:17:24,713
They're probably worried about you.
492
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,553
I know I'd be worried
about my daughter.
493
00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:27,660
If I had one.
494
00:17:27,664 --> 00:17:29,131
But I'm 17, so I don't.
495
00:17:29,169 --> 00:17:30,169
Wait.
496
00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:31,506
Before we go, Boo Boo,
497
00:17:31,511 --> 00:17:33,245
my sister wants to
ask you something.
498
00:17:35,341 --> 00:17:37,943
What?
499
00:17:37,984 --> 00:17:40,452
What? It sounded like...
500
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:43,195
What? What?
501
00:17:43,204 --> 00:17:44,204
What are you saying?
502
00:17:44,207 --> 00:17:45,341
What? What?
503
00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:46,845
Get me out of this thing!
504
00:17:46,885 --> 00:17:48,886
I'm trying to talk to a fan.
505
00:17:48,892 --> 00:17:51,493
Give me just a little dignity.
506
00:17:51,501 --> 00:17:53,169
Thank you.
507
00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:55,176
Now, what was that, little girl?
508
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,186
- Bold.
- Worth it.
509
00:18:07,227 --> 00:18:08,894
I think we nailed it.
Yeah.
510
00:18:08,899 --> 00:18:10,099
It's daring, it's different.
511
00:18:10,103 --> 00:18:11,637
Nobody else is doing this.
512
00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:13,310
I'll just put a little more
513
00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:16,117
of this strawberry jam
from Mom's purse and...
514
00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:17,260
- done.
- Ugh.
515
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,198
Look at their table.
Nerd alert.
516
00:18:19,237 --> 00:18:20,314
- Am I right?
- Yeah.
517
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:22,009
You lose.
518
00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:23,932
You guys, we didn't give up
like we usually do,
519
00:18:23,938 --> 00:18:25,339
and I think it really paid off.
520
00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:26,978
I'm proud of us.
521
00:18:26,983 --> 00:18:28,683
All right, here comes the
judge. Good luck, Gene.
522
00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,558
Go get 'em, Gene Bean. Yeah!
523
00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:33,202
Eh?
524
00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:34,573
Oh, good Lord.
525
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,618
Welcome to my "Menstru-rant."
526
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,477
I thought we decided
on "Period Piece."
527
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:43,418
Hope you brought your appetite,
and your hot flashes.
528
00:18:43,427 --> 00:18:45,428
Okay, I think I've seen enough.
529
00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:48,803
As you'll see, beside the plate
is a sanitary napkin.
530
00:18:48,847 --> 00:18:51,465
May I place it on your lap
in case there's a big spill?
531
00:18:51,473 --> 00:18:52,607
No. I...
Please, let me.
532
00:18:52,612 --> 00:18:53,938
Get away.
It's got wings.
533
00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:55,550
- Show her the tampon straw.
- No.
534
00:18:55,589 --> 00:18:57,390
I don't want to see
the tampon straw.
535
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,630
Someone's on the rag.
536
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,073
Well, at least those
two got creamed, too.
537
00:19:02,113 --> 00:19:03,747
Oh, God...
538
00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:05,987
Dad, do I have to do this again?
539
00:19:05,994 --> 00:19:07,061
Yes.
540
00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:08,599
Them losing is like us winning.
541
00:19:08,604 --> 00:19:10,038
Yeah, and we got fourth place.
542
00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:11,943
I mean, I don't think
any of our kids
543
00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:13,283
have gotten fourth
place in anything.
544
00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:15,856
I'm number four!
I'm number four!
545
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,331
Ooh, I got an idea for next year.
546
00:19:18,339 --> 00:19:20,124
- Baby Jessica stuck in a well.
- Yes!
547
00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:22,464
You have to look for
your dinner for two days
548
00:19:22,471 --> 00:19:24,639
as the nation watches.
549
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,897
Thanks for coming to get us,
Aunt Gayle.
550
00:19:26,938 --> 00:19:28,371
It was the least I could do.
551
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,578
The good news is my cat
is going to be fine.
552
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:32,502
He just has to wear
goggles from now on
553
00:19:32,509 --> 00:19:33,676
in case it happens again.
554
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:36,267
Tina, if that's what
555
00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:38,274
your life is like, God,
how are you even alive?
556
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,697
What do you mean?
557
00:19:39,752 --> 00:19:41,787
You have a crush
on almost every boy you know.
558
00:19:41,794 --> 00:19:43,377
How do you do it?
559
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:46,017
Feeling that way for three hours
was way too much for me.
560
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,776
I'm no hero. I put my bra on
561
00:19:47,782 --> 00:19:49,449
one boob at a time
like everyone else.
562
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,906
Well, the good news is
563
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:52,994
that now that I got it
out of my system,
564
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:54,335
I'm done having crushes forever.
565
00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:55,841
I hope for your sake you're right.
566
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,897
But if not, you know where I live.
567
00:19:57,936 --> 00:19:59,353
You're a strong woman, Tina.
568
00:19:59,358 --> 00:20:00,393
I know.
569
00:20:04,712 --> 00:20:06,863
Good night, Tina.
570
00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:08,547
Night, Mom.
571
00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:10,093
Night, Louise.
572
00:20:10,098 --> 00:20:11,632
Did you guys have fun today?
573
00:20:11,671 --> 00:20:13,071
Pretty dull.
574
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,109
Aw.
575
00:20:18,278 --> 00:20:20,255
Ugh. Disgusting.
576
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,554
I hate you so freaking much,
you idiot.
577
00:20:22,594 --> 00:20:25,129
Slap.
578
00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:27,205
? I want to hear your secrets
579
00:20:27,212 --> 00:20:29,713
? I'm so interested in you
580
00:20:31,728 --> 00:20:34,013
? What did you have
for lunch today? ?
581
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,754
? Tell me breakfast, too
582
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,661
? Which friend
are you mad at, girl? ?
583
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:39,518
? What size are your shoes?
584
00:20:39,524 --> 00:20:42,793
? You just went to the bathroom,
number one or number two? ?
585
00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:46,672
? I want to know everything,
everything about you ?
586
00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:48,834
? I want to hear your secrets
587
00:20:48,841 --> 00:20:51,309
? I'm so interested in you
588
00:20:53,308 --> 00:20:56,093
? Even if it's not a secret
589
00:20:56,102 --> 00:20:58,603
? Tell me that stuff, too
590
00:21:00,836 --> 00:21:03,088
? Details,
I want to know details ?
591
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,929
? What's your dad's name?
592
00:21:04,935 --> 00:21:07,186
? Details, details ?
? And your mom's
593
00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:09,027
? Any allergies?
? Details ?
594
00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:10,550
? How was prom?
595
00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:13,676
? Interesting, so interesting.
596
00:21:13,726 --> 00:21:18,276
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