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1
00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:27,160
Okay, tell me the truth, am I stuck
in a laser/dog bark/fart rut?
2
00:00:27,172 --> 00:00:28,406
- No.
- Yes.
3
00:00:28,444 --> 00:00:30,945
Has anyone seen my volcano?
4
00:00:30,955 --> 00:00:32,222
Did you check all your pockets?
5
00:00:32,228 --> 00:00:33,996
Can you describe
what it looks like?
6
00:00:34,036 --> 00:00:35,904
Well, it's volcano-shaped,
7
00:00:35,913 --> 00:00:38,014
and it's my science fair
project from last year.
8
00:00:38,056 --> 00:00:39,423
Oh, it's in the liquor cabinet.
9
00:00:39,429 --> 00:00:41,113
I've been using it
as a wine koozie.
10
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,704
It's fun, I love it.
11
00:00:42,744 --> 00:00:44,929
Introducing my science fair
project for this year.
12
00:00:44,938 --> 00:00:46,439
Hold on.
13
00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:48,846
Wait, you're turning in
the same project again?
14
00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:50,374
Will Mr. Blevins let you do that?
15
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,881
Yeah, Louise, he's
not just a teacher,
16
00:00:51,888 --> 00:00:53,388
he's the head of the science fair.
17
00:00:53,394 --> 00:00:55,011
He must be swimming in women.
18
00:00:55,018 --> 00:00:56,385
Don't worry about Blevins.
19
00:00:56,392 --> 00:00:57,993
I can play him like a fiddle.
20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,402
A strange, puffy fiddle with
a ponytail and a sad butt.
21
00:01:01,449 --> 00:01:03,450
Louise, shouldn't you
just do a new project,
22
00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:05,359
like you're supposed to?
Why?
23
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:08,103
- Um, I don't know, to learn something?
- You learn something.
24
00:01:08,113 --> 00:01:10,414
Okay honey,
good luck with your volcano.
25
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,850
123,
26
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,625
124...
27
00:01:15,632 --> 00:01:17,132
What are
you two kooks doing?
28
00:01:17,139 --> 00:01:19,307
It's for our science fair project:
29
00:01:19,317 --> 00:01:21,118
"How Many Hairs Are Up There?"
30
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:22,925
The tough part is
keeping them all organized.
31
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,367
I ga... Oh!
32
00:01:24,373 --> 00:01:25,940
- One, two...
- You guys are working too hard.
33
00:01:25,947 --> 00:01:27,014
As per "uuge."
34
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:29,721
Good morning, children.
35
00:01:29,732 --> 00:01:33,034
My name is Mr. Dinkler, and I will
be taking over this science class.
36
00:01:33,081 --> 00:01:34,831
Whoa, whoa whoa, what?
37
00:01:34,839 --> 00:01:36,173
What happened to Mr. Blevins?
38
00:01:36,212 --> 00:01:37,212
He's dead.
39
00:01:38,589 --> 00:01:39,856
To this classroom.
40
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:42,798
He's at home recovering from
a severe attack of gout.
41
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:46,279
But I'm sick of talking about him,
so let's just move on already.
42
00:01:46,293 --> 00:01:48,594
Some of you might recognize me
if you've been down
43
00:01:48,604 --> 00:01:50,939
to the Science Museum
on Tuesday nights.
44
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:54,584
I am a Thomas Edison
impersonator and reenactor.
45
00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:56,299
Thomas Edison was the greatest
46
00:01:56,306 --> 00:01:58,775
- genius who ever lived.
- Oh, boy.
47
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,986
Can anyone name
any of his inventions?
48
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,997
The lightbulb...
The lightbulb.
49
00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:04,138
The phonograph.
50
00:02:04,143 --> 00:02:05,710
The kinetoscope.
51
00:02:05,717 --> 00:02:09,387
It goes on and on and on,
basically everything.
52
00:02:09,434 --> 00:02:11,335
So, I know the fourth grade
science fair
53
00:02:11,344 --> 00:02:13,946
is coming up,
because I'm in charge of it now.
54
00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:16,274
I only have one rule
for science fairs:
55
00:02:16,284 --> 00:02:20,971
- No vol-ca-noes.
- Huh?
56
00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:23,958
Kids have been using these
papier-matcher monstrosities
57
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:27,106
to avoid real work for years,
and I'll have none of it.
58
00:02:27,118 --> 00:02:29,819
Okay, Mr. Dinkler, time out.
59
00:02:29,865 --> 00:02:30,865
Relax.
60
00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:32,369
I already got the go-ahead
61
00:02:32,375 --> 00:02:34,009
- from Mr. Blevins on my volcano.
- Huh?
62
00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:35,951
So, I'm kind of
grandfathered in there.
63
00:02:35,993 --> 00:02:37,660
What is your name, young lady?
64
00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:41,770
It's Louise, as in "Jeez,
Louise, you're the best."
65
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,787
Why don't we find you
another topic?
66
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,830
Oh, no, that's not necessary.
67
00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:46,067
I already got it.
68
00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:47,157
I'll pick one for you.
69
00:02:47,195 --> 00:02:48,395
Don't need to, I got one.
70
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:49,735
Yeah...
Thank you so much.
71
00:02:49,741 --> 00:02:51,041
Nope, gonna pick one.
72
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,780
And it's the best
topic in the world:
73
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:54,923
Thomas Edison!
74
00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:56,866
Um, but I'm doing Thomas Edison.
75
00:02:56,874 --> 00:02:58,708
You can both do Edison, moron.
76
00:02:58,716 --> 00:03:01,585
There's enough of him to go
around, trust me.
77
00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:03,130
Mr. Dinkler, you're new here,
78
00:03:03,137 --> 00:03:05,071
so please don't be
offended if I disregard
79
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,583
everything you say and turn
in Mt. Louise-ius here.
80
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:12,053
Wow, I bet stuff
comes out of the top
81
00:03:12,062 --> 00:03:14,964
where this hole is
and it's just a real hoot.
82
00:03:14,976 --> 00:03:16,576
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
83
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:18,518
Oops.
84
00:03:18,526 --> 00:03:20,360
Why did I throw that down?
Wha...
85
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:22,036
- Oh, wha... I'm stepping on it?
- No!
86
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,044
Why am I stepping on it?
87
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:26,720
Over and over and over again.
88
00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:27,898
Stop it!
89
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:30,075
Uh-huh.
90
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,280
You're doing Edison, kid.
91
00:03:31,286 --> 00:03:32,620
How about some science, huh?
92
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,119
- Ugh, I can't believe that guy.
- Hmph.
93
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,248
And now I have to go
to the library,
94
00:03:39,257 --> 00:03:41,191
which I never wanted to have to do.
95
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:43,116
- Ugh!
- Yeah, ugh!
96
00:03:43,174 --> 00:03:44,508
Wait, I like the library.
97
00:03:44,514 --> 00:03:47,099
I need information
on Thomas Edison.
98
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,445
Something no one
would recognize if plagiarized.
99
00:03:49,487 --> 00:03:52,289
Biographies, under "E." Thanks.
100
00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:53,468
That's my job.
101
00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:55,141
And I love it.
Topsy.
102
00:03:55,181 --> 00:03:56,849
Hmm?
I didn't say anything.
103
00:03:56,906 --> 00:04:00,141
Tooooopsssyyyyy.
104
00:04:00,188 --> 00:04:02,055
Are you saying Top Chef?
105
00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:03,598
I think he said Topsy.
106
00:04:03,637 --> 00:04:05,205
No, I didn't.
Yes, I did.
107
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,362
What's a Topsy?
108
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:08,268
I don't know, don't ask me.
109
00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:09,460
Look it up.
110
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,732
Like in a book?
111
00:04:10,771 --> 00:04:12,304
Yeah, sure, books are great.
112
00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:13,945
No, use the Internet.
113
00:04:13,952 --> 00:04:15,119
Books are stupid.
114
00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:16,292
I thought books were smart.
115
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,798
No, they're stupid.
116
00:04:17,838 --> 00:04:19,055
But you're a librarian.
117
00:04:19,094 --> 00:04:20,678
Yeah, so shh!
118
00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,219
Hmm.
Topsy.
119
00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,629
Look, Topsy the circus elephant.
120
00:04:24,636 --> 00:04:26,804
Thomas Edison wanted
to show the world
121
00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:30,049
that AC current was more dangerous
than his own patented DC current...
122
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,662
Blah, blah, blah.
123
00:04:31,669 --> 00:04:33,370
Oh, there's a video.
Click that.
124
00:04:33,377 --> 00:04:35,245
Ooh, elephant.
125
00:04:35,286 --> 00:04:37,087
I bet it sneezes and it's adorable.
126
00:04:38,434 --> 00:04:39,801
What was that?
127
00:04:39,807 --> 00:04:41,091
Play it again, Play it again.
128
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:44,137
It was electrocuted.
129
00:04:44,144 --> 00:04:45,612
To death.
On purpose.
130
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,751
In public.
131
00:04:46,757 --> 00:04:48,324
By Thomas Edison.
132
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,765
What is he, a supervillain?
133
00:04:49,804 --> 00:04:52,539
Well, it says that Topsy
trampled three people.
134
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,286
Well yeah,
she's a big, fat elephant.
135
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:57,495
The point is, I've got
my science fair project.
136
00:04:57,508 --> 00:05:01,828
I'm gonna tell everyone the truth
about Edison the Electro-cutioner.
137
00:05:01,845 --> 00:05:03,812
Tell it, sister.
So heroic.
138
00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,054
Let me finish!
139
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:09,597
And make Mr. Dinkler look like an
evil-inventor-impersonating ass.
140
00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:10,882
There she is.
Oh, right.
141
00:05:10,887 --> 00:05:12,537
Don't do it, Don't do it.
142
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:13,879
Do it, do it.
143
00:05:16,437 --> 00:05:18,771
And then I say, "Hey. Lightbulb.
144
00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:21,184
The lightbulb.
145
00:05:21,193 --> 00:05:22,460
I'm Edison, thank you."
146
00:05:22,466 --> 00:05:23,900
And everyone claps.
147
00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:26,207
Mr. Dinkler, shouldn't
Louise and I make sure
148
00:05:26,216 --> 00:05:30,019
that we're not both doing the same
thing for our Edison project?
149
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,468
Well, let's see, Jeremy.
150
00:05:31,474 --> 00:05:33,342
Is your project
going to blow everyone away?
151
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:36,218
'Cause if it's not,
then don't worry about it.
152
00:05:36,264 --> 00:05:38,198
What's so funny?!
153
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:40,975
Hey, everybody, volcano-girl
here is gonna blow our minds.
154
00:05:40,986 --> 00:05:42,252
Did you hear that, Tom?
155
00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:43,626
Well, I will!
156
00:05:43,632 --> 00:05:45,265
I've got something big,
Mr. Dinkler.
157
00:05:45,306 --> 00:05:47,273
You ain't got nothing
and you know it.
158
00:05:47,316 --> 00:05:49,283
You keep believing that,
Mr. Dinkler.
159
00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:54,863
I will. You keep believing
that, Mr. Dink-ler.
160
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,466
Yes, yes!
161
00:05:59,473 --> 00:06:02,208
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Very... funny. Ha!
162
00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:03,420
Ah!
163
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,092
Okay, change of plans.
164
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,784
Some little report pasted
onto construction paper
165
00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:07,891
isn't gonna be enough.
166
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,079
Not for that punk.
167
00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:10,703
I hate construction paper.
168
00:06:10,742 --> 00:06:12,426
Dinkler's a reenactor.
169
00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:14,602
I'm going reenactment on his butt.
170
00:06:14,611 --> 00:06:16,645
With actors and effects
and everything.
171
00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:18,587
We're gonna bring this
nightmare to life.
172
00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:19,997
- Oh.
- Oh.
173
00:06:20,035 --> 00:06:22,637
All right, I'm gonna need
an Edison and a Topsy.
174
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,448
Gene, can you give me
a maniacal laugh?
175
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:27,225
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
176
00:06:27,269 --> 00:06:28,937
Good enough, you're Edison.
177
00:06:28,945 --> 00:06:30,712
Tina, act like an elephant.
178
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,326
Not bad, you're hired.
179
00:06:33,365 --> 00:06:35,299
Oh, you know what else
your project needs?
180
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,741
- Science?
- Music.
181
00:06:36,747 --> 00:06:37,914
By me.
182
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,088
Something dramatic, but danceable.
183
00:06:40,098 --> 00:06:41,515
Cha, cha, cha, cha.
184
00:06:41,553 --> 00:06:44,606
Fine, as long as we electrocute
an elephant, it's okay with me.
185
00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:47,536
But not really electrocuting,
just reenacting.
186
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,248
Yes, Tina. Jeesh.
187
00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:51,924
Little Miss Don't-
Really-Electrocute-Me over here.
188
00:06:51,936 --> 00:06:53,637
Diva.
- Mm-hmm.
189
00:06:53,644 --> 00:06:55,544
What else do you want
on your rider?
190
00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,004
Hello, children.
191
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,494
Ah, Teddy, come here.
192
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,900
I'm doing a project
and I need to make
193
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,140
huge sparks and lightning bolts.
194
00:07:01,146 --> 00:07:02,179
What do you know about that stuff?
195
00:07:02,217 --> 00:07:05,086
In high school, my buddies and I
built a Van de Graaff generator.
196
00:07:05,098 --> 00:07:06,231
You know, to get girls.
197
00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:07,720
Ah, nice.
198
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,528
Will you do something
like that for me?
199
00:07:09,535 --> 00:07:11,252
Adults aren't allowed to
help, so you'll have to hide.
200
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:12,427
But... eh?
201
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,966
- Sure.
- Let's go!
202
00:07:13,973 --> 00:07:15,957
Okay, no burger, that's fine.
203
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:17,499
Ahh, I'm not freaking out here!
204
00:07:17,506 --> 00:07:18,573
Ahh...
205
00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:21,400
I know they're in here somewhere.
206
00:07:21,406 --> 00:07:23,441
Bob, come to bed.
Here it is.
207
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:26,136
All this science fair stuff
reminded me of my old invention.
208
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,648
Spiceps.
Spice-wah?
209
00:07:28,692 --> 00:07:31,127
They're sleeves that
you wear on your biceps
210
00:07:31,137 --> 00:07:33,872
- to hold all your spices while you cook.
- Wha.
211
00:07:33,883 --> 00:07:35,216
Look,.
212
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,656
Okay, good night.
213
00:07:36,695 --> 00:07:39,898
Hey Lin, what if I was
wearing just these.
214
00:07:39,944 --> 00:07:42,679
'Cause, whoop, I am.
215
00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,507
- All right, come here.
- I'm coming.
216
00:07:44,515 --> 00:07:46,116
Wait, wait, wait,
217
00:07:46,123 --> 00:07:47,523
you're getting spice
all over the bed.
218
00:07:47,529 --> 00:07:48,780
Topsy...
219
00:07:48,786 --> 00:07:50,153
autopsy...
220
00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:51,459
Is there something there?
221
00:07:51,465 --> 00:07:53,249
I'm not talking; I'm in character.
222
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:55,058
Except, can I trample you?
223
00:07:55,065 --> 00:07:56,465
I'm trying
to get in that head space.
224
00:07:56,505 --> 00:07:58,582
Yeah, sure.
225
00:07:58,616 --> 00:08:00,750
Did, uh,
did you guys notice my Spiceps?
226
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,593
Dad, not now.
227
00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:03,968
Pffh, Spiceps.
228
00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:07,109
You might have something there, if
you just changed it completely.
229
00:08:07,122 --> 00:08:09,690
- They're perfect the way they are.
- Dad, shush.
230
00:08:09,701 --> 00:08:11,635
Okay, Tina, as long as you have
perfect pitch, we'll be fine.
231
00:08:11,643 --> 00:08:13,544
- And a one, and a two.
- ? They'll...
232
00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:14,586
Hello, family.
233
00:08:14,591 --> 00:08:16,225
Ugh.
Hi, Aunt Gayle.
234
00:08:16,265 --> 00:08:18,867
Hey, Gayle, I couldn't understand
you on the phone earlier.
235
00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:21,246
You sounded like.
236
00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:22,488
Is everything all right?
237
00:08:22,528 --> 00:08:23,728
Everything's fine.
238
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:27,777
He can just be such
a jerk sometimes.
239
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,787
Aw, who honey? Wha?
240
00:08:29,829 --> 00:08:30,929
My cat.
241
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,334
We got in a fight.
242
00:08:32,341 --> 00:08:34,335
Can I stay here for a while
to cool off?
243
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:35,851
Of course you can.
244
00:08:35,857 --> 00:08:37,441
Hey Gayle, check it out.
245
00:08:38,888 --> 00:08:40,088
Okay, talk to you later.
246
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:41,360
Tina, and a one, and a two.
247
00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:42,699
? They'll...
248
00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:44,022
Hello, Belchers.
Damn it!
249
00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:46,613
Don't mean to barge in, just
here for the monthly rent.
250
00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:48,391
I say monthly,
251
00:08:48,399 --> 00:08:50,234
because I think there might be
some confusion about that.
252
00:08:50,274 --> 00:08:51,691
Oh, hey, Mr. Fischoeder.
253
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,899
Sorry, I'll write you
a check right now.
254
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,409
With my arms.
255
00:08:55,449 --> 00:08:57,817
Strangely specific, but whatever.
256
00:08:57,860 --> 00:08:59,261
Oh, look, a pen. Here.
I'm good.
257
00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:02,035
- Care for any cracked pepper?
- Uh...
258
00:09:02,046 --> 00:09:03,480
How about some thyme?
Just write the check.
259
00:09:03,487 --> 00:09:05,888
Perhaps some marjoram?
Write a check!
260
00:09:05,897 --> 00:09:07,131
How about a bay leaf?
Oh.
261
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,804
And a one, and a two...
262
00:09:08,811 --> 00:09:10,746
? They'll say aw, Topsy ?
263
00:09:10,755 --> 00:09:12,789
? At my autopsy
264
00:09:12,797 --> 00:09:14,498
- Okay, here's a funny story.
- But no...
265
00:09:14,505 --> 00:09:15,872
You cannot sing.
What?
266
00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:17,512
Yeah, we're gonna
have to replace you.
267
00:09:17,519 --> 00:09:20,120
No, I-I have a strong
connection to this character.
268
00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:21,231
And there it goes.
269
00:09:21,236 --> 00:09:23,071
Wha-what about you?
Can you sing?
270
00:09:23,079 --> 00:09:25,046
Ah, yeah.
271
00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:26,421
? They'll say aw, Topsy ?
272
00:09:26,428 --> 00:09:27,662
? At my...
273
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,734
Oh, my God I can't sing either!
274
00:09:28,739 --> 00:09:30,039
What are we gonna do?!
275
00:09:30,078 --> 00:09:32,246
That song's catchy.
276
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:35,374
? They'll say aw, Topsy
277
00:09:35,387 --> 00:09:38,656
? At my autopsy.
278
00:09:38,669 --> 00:09:39,969
It is catchy.
279
00:09:39,975 --> 00:09:44,846
? Aw, Topsy at my
auuu-ho-ho-hoopsy ?
280
00:09:44,865 --> 00:09:46,565
? La, la, la, la, la
281
00:09:46,606 --> 00:09:48,106
Holy moly.
282
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:49,614
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
283
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:52,054
That we should ask Aunt Gayle and
Mr. Fischoeder to keep it down?
284
00:09:52,064 --> 00:09:54,666
No, we should ask
them to sing for us.
285
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,845
But we're not allowed to
use adults in school projects.
286
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,655
We're gonna Milli Vanilli this.
287
00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:00,030
Sorry, I don't speak Italian.
288
00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:01,503
We'll lip sync it!
Lip synch it!
289
00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,117
So... what are you
two doing on Friday
290
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,845
besides singing from behind a
curtain in our school auditorium?
291
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:11,263
God, cooking is just too easy now.
292
00:10:13,817 --> 00:10:17,353
So, after a lot of thought
and some amazing sewing,
293
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,468
I think I finally
fixed your invention, Bob.
294
00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:21,994
Well, it didn't need fixing, so...
Ta-da!
295
00:10:22,005 --> 00:10:23,205
It's the Spice Rack.
296
00:10:23,211 --> 00:10:24,712
Get it? Rack.
297
00:10:27,866 --> 00:10:29,767
Ah, well, you look ridiculous.
298
00:10:29,809 --> 00:10:31,910
Oh, I look ridiculous?
Yeah, you do.
299
00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:34,653
- You're both right.
- I just took your idea and I made it good.
300
00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:35,732
What?
No you didn't.
301
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:36,977
Come on, kids, which is better?
302
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,610
Pass.
No, thank you.
303
00:10:38,617 --> 00:10:39,817
Tina?
304
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,390
- Tina?
- Uh...
305
00:10:41,397 --> 00:10:42,830
- Huh, how about this?
- Huh, huh?
306
00:10:42,871 --> 00:10:44,805
- Uh...
- It's not using sex to sell.
307
00:10:44,813 --> 00:10:46,748
- You want this, right? This one.
- I love you both equally!
308
00:10:46,789 --> 00:10:48,122
Oh, who cares?!
309
00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:49,162
Sorry.
310
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,267
I love you, too.
311
00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:52,812
? He might electrocute me ?
312
00:10:52,817 --> 00:10:54,267
? That's true
313
00:10:54,273 --> 00:10:56,241
? But he's
an electro-cutey ?
314
00:10:56,249 --> 00:10:58,433
? Aw, shucks.
Um... wha...
315
00:10:58,443 --> 00:11:01,645
- AC to DC, come in, DC, over.
- DC here.
316
00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:03,559
Just give me the go-ahead
and I'll flip the switch.
317
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,335
Are you sure I'm allowed
to be down here?
318
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,977
Nope, so if you get caught,
we don't know each other.
319
00:11:08,021 --> 00:11:10,156
? Her bosom's mighty ample
320
00:11:10,198 --> 00:11:11,832
? He's just
too hot to trample. ?
321
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,250
- Okay, okay, stop right there.
- We're stopping?
322
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,300
- No.
- Yes.
323
00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:16,590
Ah, the theater.
324
00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:19,063
Should we fool around back here
while we wait?
325
00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:20,957
Okay, just let me lick my lips.
326
00:11:22,137 --> 00:11:23,922
Eh, never mind.
327
00:11:23,946 --> 00:11:26,080
Gene, what the heck is
going on with the song?
328
00:11:26,089 --> 00:11:27,623
We made it into a love duet.
329
00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:29,298
- What?!
- Hmm?
330
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:32,373
The whole point of this is
to get back at Mr. Dinkler.
331
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,854
Or is it that against all odds,
332
00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:38,916
a lonely inventor and a down-on-her-luck
elephant find true love?
333
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:41,368
Oh, forget it! Let's
just get to the pyro.
334
00:11:41,378 --> 00:11:44,797
Tina, stand on Teddy's yoga mat and
don't move or it's...
335
00:11:44,845 --> 00:11:46,462
Are you sure this is safe?
336
00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:48,987
Teddy, tell Tina your yoga
mat will keep her safe
337
00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:50,331
because it's rubber, over.
338
00:11:50,336 --> 00:11:51,586
My... wait, who?
339
00:11:51,592 --> 00:11:54,227
Tina, she's standing
on the yoga mat.
340
00:11:54,271 --> 00:11:56,072
So can we do this?
341
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,881
Okay, we can't hear you very well.
342
00:11:57,888 --> 00:11:59,572
So let's just go on my count.
343
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,197
Three, two, one!
344
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:03,790
My trunk!
345
00:12:07,803 --> 00:12:09,170
Wow.
346
00:12:09,209 --> 00:12:11,644
Wait till Mr. Dinkler hears
about this.
347
00:12:11,686 --> 00:12:14,188
Wait till Mr. Dinkler sees this.
348
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:17,341
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
349
00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:18,848
Well, I see your point.
350
00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:21,255
Huh, huh.
It is a little dangerous.
351
00:12:21,266 --> 00:12:23,400
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
Well, you don't have to do it.
352
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,543
We can just use one
of Gene's stuffed animals.
353
00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:27,353
I'm sure they're tired
of being farted on.
354
00:12:27,361 --> 00:12:30,162
They love it.
Huh, huh, huh, huh.
355
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,959
Tina, people must know the truth.
356
00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:34,237
Do the reenactment.
357
00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:35,793
But what if I get electrocuted?
358
00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:37,534
Oh, come on, it's not that bad.
359
00:12:37,575 --> 00:12:40,194
- But you died.
- Well, you don't have to rub it in.
360
00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:42,906
It's just, I'm not... What?
Tina, tell my story.
361
00:12:42,917 --> 00:12:45,586
Also, you should wear your hair
up sometimes, girlfriend.
362
00:12:45,596 --> 00:12:47,565
It looks really good.
363
00:12:47,606 --> 00:12:50,670
Okay, Topsy, I'll do it,
but maybe not the hair thing.
364
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:51,753
Oh, come on.
365
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,793
It's just awkward with this length.
366
00:12:53,835 --> 00:12:55,669
- Try it.
- See, I'm trying it right now. Look.
367
00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:57,319
You know what, wear it down.
368
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,789
This is it.
Today Edison and Dinkler
369
00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:04,769
are gonna get it right where
the lightbulb don't shine.
370
00:13:04,781 --> 00:13:07,016
Are you sure you don't want music?
371
00:13:07,058 --> 00:13:09,159
- Mm?
- No, no music, thank you.
372
00:13:09,169 --> 00:13:10,903
You had your chance
and you blew it.
373
00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:12,144
Fine, then I quit!
374
00:13:12,150 --> 00:13:13,550
Suit yourself.
375
00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:15,491
Well, now I feel left out.
Take me back.
376
00:13:15,499 --> 00:13:16,816
All right, you're rehired.
377
00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:18,039
Oh, thank God. Thank you.
378
00:13:18,045 --> 00:13:19,445
Teddy, what's our pyro status?
379
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,017
Did you work out all the kinks?
380
00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:22,892
And by kinks I mean
almost melting Tina.
381
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:26,136
I think so, except for, uh...
Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine.
382
00:13:26,148 --> 00:13:28,083
Huh, huh, huh.
383
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:29,424
- Tina, why are you making that noise?
- Huh, huh.
384
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:30,764
Huh, huh.
What is it, girl?
385
00:13:30,804 --> 00:13:34,474
Huh, huh. Oh, Tina's just pumped
about the science fair.
386
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:35,821
Oh, wow, me, too.
387
00:13:35,827 --> 00:13:37,194
Is everybody ready to go?
388
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,501
Where's your father?
389
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:39,707
Uh, here I am.
390
00:13:39,713 --> 00:13:40,880
What's all that?
391
00:13:40,884 --> 00:13:43,352
Uh, just some stuff I thought
I'd bring to the science fair.
392
00:13:43,396 --> 00:13:45,998
Are you bringing Spiceps?
393
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,976
I just want some feedback, Lin.
394
00:13:47,984 --> 00:13:49,985
Who knows, maybe there's
some wealthy parent
395
00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:52,295
that knows a good money-making
venture when they see one.
396
00:13:52,338 --> 00:13:53,939
That's crazy.
397
00:13:53,946 --> 00:13:55,696
I'm going to get the Spice Rack.
398
00:13:59,237 --> 00:14:01,538
Oh, hello, Mr. Dinkler.
399
00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:02,882
What a day for science, huh?
400
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:04,522
Louise,
401
00:14:04,563 --> 00:14:06,547
give me the word when
you want me to hit the switch.
402
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,323
I know what you're doing,
you hooligan.
403
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,197
Jeremy saw everything last night.
404
00:14:10,239 --> 00:14:11,989
Oh, you son of a snitch!
405
00:14:11,997 --> 00:14:13,164
What's your favorite movie?
406
00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:15,137
Squeal Magnolias?!
407
00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:18,181
War Horse. You're trying to
sully Edison's good name,
408
00:14:18,193 --> 00:14:20,728
and nobody messes with my man, Tom.
409
00:14:20,738 --> 00:14:22,138
You're banned.
410
00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:23,395
Get in there.
411
00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,368
You can't ban me
from the science fair.
412
00:14:25,376 --> 00:14:27,377
So long, idiot.
413
00:14:27,386 --> 00:14:29,938
You're ruining
my plan to humiliate you!
414
00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:31,849
Oh, oh-oh, oh.
415
00:14:31,858 --> 00:14:33,191
Whoop, oh, oopsie.
416
00:14:33,196 --> 00:14:35,431
Boy, that, uh,
that fell over. Too bad.
417
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,042
- Aw.
- That's prime real estate.
418
00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:38,315
Watch out, someone's coming.
419
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:41,357
Uh, uh, just checking
out this great project.
420
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,070
This must be a really smart kid,
right?
421
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,561
Not as smart as this kid
right here; She's a genius.
422
00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:48,173
Oh, really? I think that kid
stole this kid's idea
423
00:14:48,184 --> 00:14:49,785
and she should probably
get a lawyer.
424
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:51,174
Oh, he wouldn't dare.
Oh, he would.
425
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,015
I will destroy you.
426
00:14:53,056 --> 00:14:54,273
Hooray!
427
00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:57,381
Now that Louise is banned,
I'm the only Edison project.
428
00:14:57,394 --> 00:14:58,811
Jeremy, shush.
Right.
429
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:02,503
Young man, I hear you wrote a love
duet that dispels those nasty
430
00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:05,603
electrocution rumors
and shows Edison's softer side.
431
00:15:05,616 --> 00:15:08,018
I think that's just what
this science fair needs,
432
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:09,460
and I want you to sing it.
433
00:15:09,466 --> 00:15:11,234
Really? All right!
434
00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:13,410
- What?
- I've got to call our landlord and my aunt
435
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:16,822
and maybe some choir kids and
maybe a couple of band geeks.
436
00:15:16,835 --> 00:15:19,403
If that's how you celebrate
good news, sure.
437
00:15:19,448 --> 00:15:20,681
But, Gene, what about Louise?
438
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,104
What about the truth?
439
00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:26,608
What did you say?
440
00:15:26,614 --> 00:15:28,148
I was just wondering
if we need flutes.
441
00:15:28,154 --> 00:15:29,855
Who plays flute?
Do you play flute?
442
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,781
Louise, some janitor just
asked me what I was doing here.
443
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,444
I panicked; I said I was a doctor.
444
00:15:34,468 --> 00:15:36,652
So if anyone asks,
I'm Dr. Glen Wellness.
445
00:15:36,661 --> 00:15:38,095
I served in Korea.
446
00:15:38,102 --> 00:15:39,769
I handled a triage alone.
447
00:15:39,776 --> 00:15:41,243
Just if anyone asks.
448
00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:44,944
I delivered triplets in the
back of a cab, if anyone asks.
449
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:50,486
Ms. Schnurr, I want to say I totally
understand why I'm in here.
450
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,066
I was disrespectful.
451
00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:53,957
I was out of line, and oh, my God,
452
00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:55,615
did you move that picture?
453
00:15:55,656 --> 00:15:57,156
Wow.
454
00:15:57,163 --> 00:15:58,597
You are fast.
455
00:15:58,603 --> 00:15:59,937
I do martial arts.
456
00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:01,076
It shows.
457
00:16:01,115 --> 00:16:02,683
Hello, hi.
458
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,190
Oh, aren't you short?
459
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,364
Here, follow me.
460
00:16:06,373 --> 00:16:08,140
All right, let's show these people
461
00:16:08,147 --> 00:16:11,450
that if it ain't man-on-elephant
love, it ain't worth singing about.
462
00:16:11,514 --> 00:16:13,414
Attention, everyone.
463
00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:15,423
We have a very special treat
for you.
464
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:18,401
It's a musical re-imagenactment
465
00:16:18,446 --> 00:16:22,883
of the very uplifting story of Thomas
Edison and Topsy the elephant.
466
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:26,520
? They say Thomas Edison
467
00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:29,920
? He's the man to get us
into this century ?
468
00:16:31,608 --> 00:16:33,392
? And that man is me
469
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,551
? They'll say all...
470
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:37,344
What's going on?
Where's Louise?
471
00:16:37,351 --> 00:16:40,120
And why do Tina and Gene sound
like Gayle and Mr. Fischoeder?
472
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,399
It's science, Bob.
473
00:16:41,438 --> 00:16:42,772
You're not supposed
to understand it.
474
00:16:42,778 --> 00:16:44,412
Okay.
475
00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:48,496
Come on, Ms. Schnurr.
476
00:16:48,503 --> 00:16:49,970
Let me out of here.
477
00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:51,645
This is my destiny.
478
00:16:51,686 --> 00:16:54,221
Shh, I'm trying to eat this yogurt.
479
00:16:54,231 --> 00:16:56,532
Toot, toot, here comes books.
480
00:16:56,576 --> 00:16:57,776
Creepy librarian.
481
00:16:57,782 --> 00:16:58,882
Do I know you?
482
00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:00,753
You told me about Topsy.
483
00:17:00,795 --> 00:17:02,829
I tell everyone about Topsy.
484
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:04,639
So, here's the book you requested.
485
00:17:04,647 --> 00:17:06,131
Good stuff, chick lit.
486
00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,938
Oh, you've got to help me.
487
00:17:07,946 --> 00:17:09,813
Tell her I've got to go
to the fair.
488
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,921
Tell her I've got
to take Dinkler down.
489
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,632
Shh, leave me out of it.
490
00:17:13,639 --> 00:17:15,023
You started it.
491
00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:16,963
I start, I don't finish things.
492
00:17:16,971 --> 00:17:18,438
That's my one flaw.
493
00:17:18,478 --> 00:17:19,845
So, how's that yogurt?
494
00:17:19,851 --> 00:17:21,152
Fine! Forget you!
495
00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:23,793
Forget all of you!
Eat your yogurt!
496
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,971
I'm busting out!
497
00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:30,334
Get everything ready,
Teddy, because this is happening.
498
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:32,686
I'll get to the radio
and when I say "hit it,"
499
00:17:32,695 --> 00:17:34,629
you hit it
with everything you've got.
500
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,871
Capisce?
501
00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:36,943
Wait, don't leave me.
502
00:17:36,982 --> 00:17:38,916
Okay, everything's all right.
503
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,257
You're Dr. Glen Wellness.
504
00:17:40,263 --> 00:17:41,731
You can handle anything.
505
00:17:41,738 --> 00:17:43,689
Hell, you got the highest MCATs
in the state.
506
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,715
? But I never noticed
507
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,362
? The curve of her trunk
508
00:17:49,373 --> 00:17:52,509
? And I never noticed
509
00:17:52,522 --> 00:17:55,023
? His electric junk
510
00:17:55,066 --> 00:18:00,204
? We might just have found
511
00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:05,478
? Electric love
512
00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:09,903
? Electric love...
513
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:13,797
Wow, did Gene write this?
514
00:18:13,804 --> 00:18:15,271
God, I want what they have.
515
00:18:15,278 --> 00:18:17,096
It's so romantic.
516
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:22,725
? Electric love
517
00:18:22,747 --> 00:18:28,201
? Electric love...
518
00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:33,809
? Fits like a glove.
519
00:18:33,832 --> 00:18:36,701
This is what really
happened, people.
520
00:18:36,712 --> 00:18:41,966
This man, Thomas Edison, sentenced
Topsy, that beautiful elephant,
521
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:45,022
to die by electrocution.
522
00:18:45,035 --> 00:18:47,469
Uh-oh.
523
00:18:47,479 --> 00:18:49,447
Here's your hero, Dinkler.
524
00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:50,789
Hit it!
525
00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,162
Is that you, Louise?
526
00:18:52,168 --> 00:18:53,735
Hit it!
I've been down here so long.
527
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:55,309
What's it like out there?
528
00:18:55,316 --> 00:18:57,150
Are people still the same
with their funny ways?
529
00:18:57,192 --> 00:18:58,592
Teddy, hit it!
530
00:18:58,598 --> 00:18:59,919
Oh, right, the thing we're doing.
531
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:06,554
Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.
532
00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:14,450
- Oh!
- Tina!
533
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,957
Tina!
534
00:19:15,996 --> 00:19:17,605
Tina?
535
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:21,600
I'm okay.
536
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:23,874
Oh! Oh, God.
Oh, thank God. Tina.
537
00:19:23,884 --> 00:19:25,618
I thought we weren't doing
the death scene,
538
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,659
but I saw the sparks
and went with it.
539
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:28,935
Was I convincing?
540
00:19:28,975 --> 00:19:30,208
Yes, very.
541
00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:33,683
Oh, my God, I almost
electrocuted my sister.
542
00:19:33,696 --> 00:19:36,949
- I've become Edison.
- Oh, you wish.
543
00:19:36,962 --> 00:19:38,862
So he electrocuted animals.
544
00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:40,104
So what?
545
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:41,944
As if everyone here is so perfect.
546
00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:48,641
Oh, got a little caught up
in the moment.
547
00:19:48,651 --> 00:19:49,917
We're in love!
548
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,424
We're a couple in love!
549
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:54,332
It's really happening finally!
550
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:57,562
Thank you, God!
Got to go.
551
00:19:57,576 --> 00:19:59,610
Could have asked me to sing,
but whatever.
552
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:01,552
You know, I could've sung it.
553
00:20:01,594 --> 00:20:03,962
Louise, is there something
you want to say to your sister?
554
00:20:03,972 --> 00:20:06,323
Tina, I'm sorry
I nearly killed you.
555
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,418
I got carried away
with the Dinkler thing,
556
00:20:08,427 --> 00:20:10,411
which worked out pretty well,
but still,
557
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,253
I shouldn't have almost killed you.
558
00:20:12,261 --> 00:20:14,796
It's okay; This is how Topsy
would have wanted it,
559
00:20:14,806 --> 00:20:16,273
but with more trampling people.
560
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:17,981
And, Gene, I'm sorry to you, too.
561
00:20:17,988 --> 00:20:19,388
Your song was really good.
562
00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:21,862
I know, and without
a single fart sound.
563
00:20:21,906 --> 00:20:23,339
Oh, my God, I forgot
the fart sounds!
564
00:20:23,345 --> 00:20:24,546
How'd we do?
565
00:20:24,585 --> 00:20:26,319
Well, you almost killed
my daughter.
566
00:20:26,327 --> 00:20:28,328
So yeah, not great.
567
00:20:28,337 --> 00:20:30,221
Oh, wow, sorry about that.
568
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,196
Hey, did you check out
that Spiceps thing?
569
00:20:32,204 --> 00:20:33,271
- Cool, huh?
- Really?
570
00:20:33,277 --> 00:20:34,802
I thought so.
Yeah.
571
00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:37,084
Since Mr. Dinkler is
in the bathroom, crying,
572
00:20:37,093 --> 00:20:39,962
I'm stepping in to announce
the science fair winners.
573
00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:42,976
Second lace goes to
"How Many Hairs Up There?",
574
00:20:42,988 --> 00:20:45,556
by Andy and Ollie Pesto.
575
00:20:45,601 --> 00:20:47,518
- Oh, my God! I want to thank Ollie.
- I want to thank Andy.
576
00:20:47,526 --> 00:20:48,993
I want to thank Ollie.
I want to thank Andy.
577
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,901
That got second?
That's ridiculous.
578
00:20:50,943 --> 00:20:54,512
And the blue ribbon goes
to "Spice..."
579
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:55,986
uh, I can't read this.
580
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,968
Spice Rack! Spice Rack!
Spiceps, Spiceps!
581
00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:59,753
Spice Rack!
Spiceps!
582
00:20:59,755 --> 00:21:01,290
- Spiceps!
- Ow! Rack!
583
00:21:07,061 --> 00:21:11,717
? Electric love
584
00:21:11,718 --> 00:21:16,567
? Electric love
585
00:21:18,658 --> 00:21:24,657
? Electric love
586
00:21:24,707 --> 00:21:29,257
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