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1
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:27,733
The landlord, Mr. Fischoeder,
is coming over to talk about the lease...
2
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,966
- and we don't know if he's gonna renew.
- He'll renew!
3
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:32,304
Well, we haven't always
paid our rent on time.
4
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,073
- We never pay our rent on time.
- Thanks, Lin.
5
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,648
All right, listen. Your mother and I
are gonna go make him some food.
6
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:40,047
That's gonna save us-
our food and our service.
7
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,211
- You kids start cleaning now.
- Pick that up!
8
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:44,379
And, Gene, you go outside
and try to drum up some business.
9
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:45,820
I'll play my triangle!
10
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,653
? Ding-da-da-ding
da-da-ding, da-da-ding ?
11
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,590
- No!
- You don't understand my music!
12
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,821
Shush. And here's
the other important thing.
13
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:55,127
When Fischoeder gets here,
you will not- I repeat, not...
14
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,599
stare at him like he's
some kind of spectacle.
15
00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,500
- I don't ever stare at him.
- I don't know What you're talking about.
16
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,665
Yes, Mr. Fischoeder is an eccentric.
17
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,640
Yes, he Wears a white suit.
18
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,143
And an eye patch.
19
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,940
And he drives a golf cart everywhere.
20
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,345
[Louise] He is one white cat away
from being a super villain.
21
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:12,746
[Man]
Mr. Fischoeder! Aah!
22
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,841
All right, but he owns this building,
everybody.
23
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,854
He owns the amusement park
and just about everything else in town...
24
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,356
so you're not gonna stare at him
when he gets here.
25
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,587
- ?? [Whistling]
- ?? [Nervous Humming]
26
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:26,163
- Here we go!
- Bob, Linda.
27
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,755
Your children are refusing
to acknowledge me.
28
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:31,165
Uh, kids, stop doing that.
Acknowledge Mr. Fischoeder right now.
29
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,328
- Are you a superhero?
- Can I feel your hair?
30
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,339
Stop! Stop!
Go clean something now, all of you.
31
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:39,137
So, uh, Mr. Fischoeder,
you know, after all these years...
32
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,439
- I realized you've never eaten my food.
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:44,310
I want to present to you
one of my favorite specialty burgers.
34
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,850
Oh, no offense, Bob,
but I have a policy that I don't dine...
35
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,851
at any of my tenants' establishments.
36
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,548
- Oh. But I saw you eating at Doucie Sushi.
- That's different.
37
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:55,649
That place is incredible! Have you had
their starfish? it melts in your mouth.
38
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:57,455
No? Nobody?
39
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,359
- You?
- No.
40
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,365
Anyway- Quiet in here
41
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,435
- Like this a lot, Bob?
- Yeah.
42
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,197
Well, I mean, it's 12:30
43
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,932
- Sorta the lunch lull.
- The lunch lull.
44
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,735
- That's What we call it.
- Huh.
45
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,242
Wow. Jimmy Pesto�s lunch lull
is really busy.
46
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,313
[Bob]
Well, Jimmy Pesto's is a pizza place-
47
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,211
if you're into that kind of thing- pizza.
48
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,045
- [Chuckles] Stupid.
- I like pizza.
49
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,086
- Pizza? Where's pizza?
- Shush.
50
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:26,123
Anyway, when people want a burger-
a good American burger-
51
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,850
they have nowhere else to go but-
52
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:31,019
Sorry. Sorry to interrupt.
Let me be honest with you.
53
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,496
I enjoy you, Bob.
Your mustache- it's fascinating.
54
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,328
- Thank you.
- Do you mind if I-
55
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,231
- You're touching it.
- Yeah. I-
56
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,133
- That's- Yeah, you're-
- it's really something.
57
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,705
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
58
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:44,775
[Moaning]
59
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,674
Listen, Jimmy Pesto
has tendered an offer on this space.
60
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,838
Jimmy Pesto?
He wants to move over here?
61
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:53,247
- Yes, he wants to move his gift shop over here.
- Gift shop?
62
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,615
This would be an amazing gift shop!
63
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,915
[Gasps]
I can do all my Christmas shopping here!
64
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,649
- Yes!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
65
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,283
Please, I-I think if you tried my burger,
you'd see that-
66
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:06,228
Bob, you're always late with the rent,
and Jimmy pays early.
67
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,458
Wait, wait, wait. Mr. Fischoeder, please.
68
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:11,035
Before you make a decision,
just taste my burger.
69
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,263
- Just taste it.
- [Sighs] Fine.
70
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,236
Another trip to the gym.
71
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,399
- Jimmy Pesto may be a good businessman...
- [Choking]
72
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,944
But I think you'll find that,
unlike his microwaved junk, my food is-
73
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,877
- [Choking Continues]
- Mr. Fischoeder?
74
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,880
Mr. Fischoeder.
75
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,746
- [Gasping]
- He's choking. He's chok-
76
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,443
- How do I do it?
- You just push!
77
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,953
- What do I do? - Push on his belly!
- Hit him in the crotch!
78
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,888
- No, Gene! Don�t hit him in the crotch.
- Yes! Hit him in the crotch!
79
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,221
- I'll hold his hair.
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
80
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,954
- Linda, please.
- Oh, my God!
81
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,553
Wow! He's turning blue!
82
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,030
- Put his hand in warm Water!
- He can't die!
83
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,465
- He cannot die in here!
- Let's move him outside.
84
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,470
No! Everybody, hands around him!
Group Heimlich!
85
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,370
- One, two, three!
- Two, three!
86
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,841
- [All Grunting]
- [Bob] There it is!
87
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,411
- Holy crap!
- God.
88
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,275
- Give him some room, kids.
- Give him room!
89
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,679
Oh. OW.
90
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,250
- So, um-
- Ow.
91
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,377
Did you, uh- Did you like it?
92
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,479
[Groans]
Your rent is due Friday night.
93
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:09,424
And if you're late,
I'm giving your lease to Jimmy Pesto.
94
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,430
Do you want me to pack this to go?
95
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,828
You're gonna want fries with that.
96
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,298
[Linda]
So, Mr. Fischoeder's okay.
97
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,670
But we've got to pay the rent in full
by tomorrow night.
98
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:27,370
- Paying the rent in full!
- What's next? Paying your other bills?
99
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,447
Don't worry. We'll figure something out.
100
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,141
- Right, Bobby?
- Jimmy fricking Pesto.
101
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,717
[Linda]
Oh, Bob.
102
00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:36,719
You know, Pesto's not his real name
it's Poplopovich.
103
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,914
Of course it is.
The guy's a complete phony.
104
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,650
What is this obsession with him?
105
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,727
- I'm not obsessed with him.
- Yeah, you are.
106
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,455
You're both obsessed. it's like you guys
are stalking each other.
107
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,197
[No Audible Singing]
108
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,471
[Angry Scream]
109
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,476
I could care less about the guy.
110
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,173
I think you should both grow up,
at least for the kids' sake.
111
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,716
- Let me see. Let me see.
- Ugh. The kids.
112
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,252
Why does Tina have to
like Jimmy Pesto Jr.?
113
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,481
Of all the 13-year-old boys in the world.
114
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,285
Eh, she likes them too.
It's kind of romantic though.
115
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,486
Two families at war, a budding romance
116
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,392
- it's like West Side Story!
- [Groans]
117
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,965
? Du-dun, du-dun, du-dun ?
118
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,329
- Rumble!
- Stop.
119
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,561
; Dun-dun-dun J;
120
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,933
You know, Louise is friends
with the twins now too-
121
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,937
Pesto�s little boys, Andy and Ollie.
122
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:32,237
No, no, no.
I'm calling a ban on all the Pesto kids.
123
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,573
Our kids are going to cease contact.
124
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,908
- Let's be best friends forever.
- Okay.
125
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,849
Let's out our hands and press them
together and become blood brothers!
126
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:45,616
- Okay! [Grunting]
- No, spit brothers! Spit in your hand and then shake.
127
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,555
Let's do both!
[Spits]
128
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,025
Sorry. I'm saving my spit and blood
for my honeymoon.
129
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,653
Let's rub our eyes together.
You can get my pink eye.
130
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:56,097
- Okay!
- [Both] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
131
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,692
- Ow. Ooh!
- So hard to be friends these days.
132
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,397
Hey, is that your brother Jimmy
touching himself all over?
133
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,405
[Ollie]
Yeah, he's really into slow dancing now.
134
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,772
[Louise] He knows it's supposed to be
with other people, right?
135
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,936
- It is?
- Ugh. Look at Tina.
136
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,537
Kissed the guy,
and she still can't get his attention.
137
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,411
She should try pigs in a blanket.
138
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,678
That always gets my attention.
139
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,253
Ahhh.
140
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:18,652
- ?? [Ballad, Faint]
- [Grunts]
141
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,918
- [Bells Dinging]
- Ugh. What's he up to now?
142
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,492
What? Oh, my God!
143
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:28,589
- �Now serving burgers
- Burgers!
144
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,362
- That's it. it's time for a showdown.
- All right!
145
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,061
? We're going to a rumble ?
146
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,661
I'm gonna confront him.
147
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:35,899
? Gonna confront him ?
148
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,372
Confront him right in the face.
149
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,806
? Yeah, right in his handsome face ?
150
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,002
- What?
- What?
151
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:41,976
- You said �handsome face."
- You did.
152
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,706
- It's a-
- �Right in his handsome face."
153
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,510
- I know What I said!
- You think he's handsome?
154
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,710
- God, yes.
- No! I'm saying it with anger.
155
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,653
Like, �you handsome face!" He's so
handsome you wanna- you wanna punch him.
156
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,348
He looks like Tom Selleck.
157
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,084
When I die, I want you to cremate me...
158
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,559
and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face.
159
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,994
[Wheezing Laugh]
That's a crazy request.
160
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,759
- I get it.
- All right, let's go.
161
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,333
Kids, watch the restaurant.
162
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,203
? We're going to a rumble ?
163
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,636
- ?? [Man Singing: Operatic]
- Oh, Lord.
164
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,298
So many people.
165
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,637
Kids, watch the restaurant.
166
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,473
Tina, watch the restaurant.
167
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,911
Restaurant, we both know
you can handle this.
168
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,279
Call me if you need me. Love you.
169
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,683
Jimmy said he'll be right out.
You wanna try a Pesto-colada?
170
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,254
- Yeah, sure.
- Lin!
171
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,619
- What? Free drink.
- Yuck. Look at that.
172
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,851
�Pasta la vista, baby�?
173
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:32,020
�Frank and Zelda Oldies with Goodies"?
Ugh.
174
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,122
Some confrontation. I want some action.
175
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,030
I need some action.
176
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,625
[Gasps]
There's Jimmy Jr.
177
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:42,399
[Sighs]
Busing tables has never looked so sensual.
178
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,475
- Yet so menial.
- [Tina] Yeah.
179
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,408
Here's Jimmy. Now some fur's gonna fly.
180
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,980
Bob of Bob's Burgers.
181
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,175
Jimmy so-called Pesto of Jimmy Pesto�s.
182
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,252
Let's skip the niceties, shall we?
183
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,321
Pesto-colada for the lady-
on the house.
184
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,788
- Thank you.
- Except for that nicety.
185
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,552
- What are you doing, Jimmy?
- What?
186
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,854
Selling burgers, coming after my lease.
187
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:07,227
What are you doing, Jimmy Poplopovich?
188
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,628
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
189
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,531
- Your name is not What it says on the-
- Mmm. Mmm!
190
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,763
- Lin.
- Mmm. Yum.
191
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,396
- Stop.
- That's good.
192
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,566
Bob, I run a business, all right?
193
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,610
I don't know What you're doing
with your fancy ingredients.
194
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,805
�I'm Bob, and I like kale." Kale!
195
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,438
There's nothing wrong with kale.
196
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:28,212
- Why don't you call it Snob's Burgers?
- Snob's Burgers! Ha!
197
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,914
You think anything that isn't
frozen or rotten is fancy, Jimmy.
198
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,514
Okay, Mr. Fancy Face.
Let's see who's got customers.
199
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,992
Ah, da-di-di-di. Ah, I got some.
200
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,654
Let's see who doesn't. Oh, you.
201
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,665
[Chuckles]
I've- I've got customers, Jimmy.
202
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,065
They're not there right now.
They have a life.
203
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,899
Oh, yeah? Well, good luck
making rent by tomorrow night.
204
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:51,635
Well, good luck trying to steal
my customers with your Besto-Burger.
205
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,711
They'll never- Oh, my God!
206
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,301
- Bob!
- Unbelievable.
207
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,403
- We came to watch the ball game.
- I had the urge to sing Journey!
208
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,982
Come on, Linda. We're leaving!
209
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,379
Go, go. Go, go, go, 90-
210
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,453
[Slurping]
211
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,522
?? [Continues]
212
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,621
- Hmm!
- You're not gonna get our lease, Jimmy!
213
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,163
- He's gonna get our lease.
- No, Bobby!
214
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,062
Forget about Jimmy Pesto.
215
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,533
All we need is
one really good day of business...
216
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,298
and then we can pay our rent
and keep the place, huh?
217
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,432
- Huh?
- I guess you're right.
218
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:27,739
- If we can pack the house tomorrow.
- Sure! Packed house.
219
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:31,371
We can do that.
Let's have a family brainstorm right now.
220
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:36,419
- Gene, go!
- Uh, live entertainment featuring a mix of techno...
221
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:40,047
and Dads favorite- the triangle!
222
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,387
? A-ding-ding-ding
ding-ding, ding, ding-ding-ding
223
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,051
- No.
- Tina, go!
224
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,061
Slow dancing. Grind, grind
225
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,688
- No.
- Grind.
226
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,824
Tina, stop. What are you do- Stop that.
227
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,458
Louise, What do you got?
228
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,299
When I was young and naive,
I would have said �arson�...
229
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,031
but I'm gonna go with �voodoo.�
230
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:59,268
- Huh. I like arson.
- No. Seriously, Dad- voodoo.
231
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:00,844
- I have a book.
- No.
232
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,935
- No, I have a book! I'll go get it.
- I got it!
233
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:06,812
Make some flyers for half off,
and good for tomorrow night only.
234
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,443
- You know, that might bring some people in.
- Yeah, yeah.
235
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,682
- Okay, I found it.
- Forget voodoo. We're doing flyers.
236
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,452
What? Whose candy-ass idea was that?
237
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,653
I'm out of the room for five seconds!
238
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,390
Ah, we�re on a roll.
Let's brainstorm something else.
239
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,988
Uh, Christmas card.
240
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,193
No, no, no.
We're done brainstorming. We got it.
241
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,668
Oh. How 'bout we shave our heads
for the Christmas card?
242
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,864
- Spell our names wrong.
- Shave our legs.
243
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,033
Totally soft, silky family.
244
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,372
- I like it.
- I have a book!
245
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,471
Nobody forget What they just said.
I'm gonna go get some paper.
246
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,146
Mmm. it's pretty good.
247
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,350
[Laughs]
it's pretty good.
248
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,394
[Crying]
it's not good! it's not good!
249
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,929
It's not good!
250
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,999
Goin' in the garbage!
251
00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:02,263
If I can get a lock of Jimmy Pesto�s hair,
I'm pretty sure I can control his mind.
252
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,341
- Really?
- I don't know. I'm just skimming.
253
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,808
All I know is it works
on fools and imbeciles.
254
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:11,405
Oh, me, me. Can you help me dance Jimmy Jr.
back into remembering we�re going out?
255
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:15,077
- Yes, I can. I just need a lock of your hair.
- Okay.
256
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:19,020
- Can you help me get a gig in the music business?
- Hair.
257
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:20,681
So long, old friend.
258
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,418
? Bye-bye-
259
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,223
So if you stick the penny
into the potato...
260
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:28,423
you've just made a battery
out of a potato.
261
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,127
I've just made a voodoo doll
out of a potato.
262
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,531
[Both]
Aww!
263
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,298
- Who is it?
- My sister, Tina.
264
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,634
She wants me to make your brother
slow dance with her...
265
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,367
and remember that they're going out.
266
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,705
- Can you get a lock of your brother's hair?
- Yup.
267
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,111
- Aah!
- And you said I was crazy for carrying this around.
268
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,241
Now who's laughing?
[Laughing] Me!
269
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,410
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- [Teacher] Settle down. Settle-
270
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:51,385
Hi, kids. How was school?
271
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,785
- [Together] Good.
- Yeah?
272
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,620
Mom, Andy and Ollie
are helping me with a school project.
273
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:59,060
I'm gonna need 15 potatoes
and a lock of hair from you and Dad.
274
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,654
Also rum and cigars, if you have any.
275
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,392
- Wait. What's this for?
- English.
276
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,935
- You two have homework?
- A little. - Not doing it.
277
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:09,268
Good, 'cause you're going down
to the pier to hand out flyers.
278
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,170
[Grunting]
279
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,106
Aah!
[Blubbering]
280
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,303
- [Rings]
- [Tina] We're back.
281
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,006
- Did you pass 'em out?
- Yup. We saved the family.
282
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,674
- Jimmy Pesto even took one.
- So did Jimmy One Wing.
283
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,844
- He's a seagull I met.
- What the hell?
284
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:26,822
�Tonight only our competitor's flyers good
for 1/2 off your meal!
285
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,892
Plus a free T-shirt?
286
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:33,225
- Oh, my God.
- Aw, Mort's bringing his mother to dinner.
287
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,321
No. No. No!
288
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,199
Those are my customers!
289
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,435
This is a war now. This is a war
290
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,666
Listen, it's the theme from Braveheart!
291
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,470
? Ding-ding-ding-ding
ding-ding-ding ?
292
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:48,010
- No!
- Wait, wait. This is the best part.
293
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:54,244
- Dad, What are you doing?
- Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
294
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:58,345
Shh! Gene, Tina, this may be our
last chance to save the restaurant.
295
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,754
Your father needs
full concentration right now.
296
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:04,658
He's attempting to make
the most difficult burger known to man.
297
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,162
I've only seen him do it once successfully.
298
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,291
And now he has to do it
in a mini sampler size.
299
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,892
- What is it?
- He calls it �The Meatsiah."
300
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,667
it's beef tartare inside a burger,
medium-well...
301
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:18,400
inside a burger Wellington.
302
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:21,740
- Is Dad gonna die?
- Maybe, honey. Maybe.
303
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,041
Oh, he has to be happy with that one.
304
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,138
So how is this gonna save the restaurant?
305
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,775
Am I gonna put on the burger suit
and hand these out in front?
306
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,753
Oh, no. We're going straight
to the source with these.
307
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:36,122
You're gonna be handing these out
in Jimmy Pesto�s restaurant.
308
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,224
- Whoa.
- That's right, whoa.
309
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,765
These samples are gonna get us our rent
money tonight, so we can keep this place.
310
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,835
How are free samples gonna get us money?
311
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:48,667
They'll try the samples, and they'll love 'em,
but they'll want more. More!
312
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,264
They'll be craving these burgers,
itching to get their fix!
313
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,274
- Like heroin.
- That's right, Son!
314
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:54,867
- Like heroin!
- Yes!
315
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,447
But this family's gonna have to
execute perfectly to pull this off.
316
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:58,776
Where's Louise?
317
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,351
[Louise]
This one shall have his first gig.
318
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,148
- This one shall slow dance upon that one.
- ? [Drumming] ?
319
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:07,224
And Mr. Jimmy Pesto�s fate
is yet undetermined...
320
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:10,351
because I still need to get some of his hair.
321
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,429
I'm gonna go get it right now.
Wanna come?
322
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,431
- We want to stay here.
- Forever. We wanna stay here forever and ever.
323
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,730
- We want to be buried here!
- Buried here!
324
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,703
Okay! I'll bury you when I get back.
325
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,967
[Jimmy]
You're taking hair donations?
326
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,805
- That's right.
- Mmm, for people with mustache cancer?
327
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,742
Yeah. it's a serious disease.
328
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,973
Hey, aren't you Bob's kid?
329
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,981
No! No, no.
330
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,952
Dad, Frank and Zelda both got the scampi,
and now they're in the bathroom puking.
331
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:40,319
Oh, for Gods sake. Where am I gonna
get another piano player at this hour?
332
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,414
We could put on some Boyz ll Men,
and I could slow dance.
333
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,723
Hey, pepper, no!
For the thousandth time, no!
334
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,059
- It's my passion, Dad! Passion!
- Ah!
335
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,496
I know a guy.
336
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:53,297
- [Rings]
- Hello. Bob's Burgers.
337
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,269
You tell Dad where you were going?
338
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,999
Mm, he's working on his burger bites.
339
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,167
Hey, there's a drum set. Back me up!
340
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:03,839
Sorry, it'll just be another minute.
We're really backed up in there.
341
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,645
Gene got his wish! The voodoo is working!
342
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,277
How you doin'? Nice shirt.
343
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:14,017
Oh, my God!
Gene's first public performance!
344
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,423
[Bob]
These are almost done. ls everybody ready?
345
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,995
Aw! And my Tina's dancin'.
346
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,564
My little clam's coming out of her shell.
347
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,656
I'm just gonna slip out for one sec.
348
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:28,000
Okay, here we go.
Time to go win back the restaurant!
349
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,766
Linda? Kids?
350
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,341
Oh, my God.
351
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,434
Gene was supposed to Wear the costume.
Well, you know what?
352
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,342
I'll do this myself.
353
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,472
This next number's a slow jam
354
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,846
it's called
�Three Sides Don't Make a Square.�
355
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,180
? Ding, ding, ding ?
356
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,515
? Ding-ding
Ding-ding-ding ?
357
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,556
? Da-ding-ding
Da-ding-ding ?
358
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,318
- ? Da-ding-ding, da-ding-ding ??
- [Laughs]
359
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:51,884
- Thank you.
- Ho-ho-ho! What happened? Did you snap?
360
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,863
Did Mr. Fancy Face
take a trip to the sexy store?
361
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,831
- No.
- It's a little small on you.
362
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,198
A little tight in the pickles, huh?
What's on the tray?
363
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,771
These are burger bites, Jimmy.
The best in the world.
364
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,841
I'm gonna show your customers
What real food is.
365
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,534
Here, try a real burger, sir?
366
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,270
- Hey.
- Ah. Well.
367
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:09,903
- En-eh.
- I'm gonna go this way then.
368
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:11,572
- Nah-nah-nah.
- Yeah. Well, then I�m-
369
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,513
- Deh-deh.
- Don't poke me.
370
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,482
- Aah!
- Real burgers, right across the street.
371
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,882
- Hey, hey.
- Just move.
372
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,080
- [Mocking] Just move.
- Shut- What?
373
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,714
- ? I didn't do it.
- Yeah, I did- [Babbling]
374
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,690
- Oh, no.
- ls that Dad?
375
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:26,319
And you people! Traitors! Traitor family!
376
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,898
It's Gene's first public performance.
377
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,697
You could've had me at the ground floor,
Dad. Now I play the big rooms.
378
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,998
You gotta let the kids have a little fun.
379
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,700
We have fun, Linda! We have lots of fun!
380
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,469
- What's he wearin'?
- My buns.
381
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,239
- With a few extra buns hanging out the back.
- ? [Rim Shot] ?
382
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,336
Ooh! Hey, Dad! I'm playing drums!
383
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,848
Oh, I'm so happy you're
playing drums, Louise!
384
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:51,046
Hey, you know what? You should keep your
freaky kids locked up in your own place.
385
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,918
What did you say about my kids?
386
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,993
- Hit him in his handsome groin!
- [Both Grunting]
387
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,992
- Oh, watch it.
- You- I-
388
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,085
- Ow!
- Hey. Wait. Wait.
389
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,461
[Grunting Continues]
390
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,368
- Get him, Dad.
- Come on! Come on!
391
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,870
Don't worry, Dad!
[Spits]
392
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,599
Anything? Anything?
393
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,700
I got the samples, Bobby. Aw, crap.
394
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,904
- That looks silly.
- Come for the rent?
395
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,742
- Yes, I've come for the rent.
- Bob!
396
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,873
No, no. Let 'em fight.
Looks like a betting crowd.
397
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,111
- Who wants three-to-one against the burger?
- Right here!
398
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:26,314
Here, let me see. Let me see your money.
Here you go. Oh!
399
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,020
[Quiet Grunting]
400
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,720
All right. it's a draw.
401
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,889
- Who had �They end up hugging each other�?
- Me.
402
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,762
- That's 10 to you.
- Thank you.
403
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:40,029
Now, Bob, Jimmy, let's all go over
to Jimmy's new gift shop-
404
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,696
I mean- [Chuckles]
Sorry. Bob's place-
405
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:46,004
and settle this
over some nice alcohol, hmm?
406
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,078
Bob?
407
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,949
- Do you have the rent?
- [Sighs] No. Not all of it.
408
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,779
Okay then. Here we go.
409
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:56,443
- Oh, God.
- Give me your hands.
410
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,681
- Um, sure.
- Do you cry easily?
411
00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:01,849
- Um, sometimes.
- Well, let's get it over With.
412
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:04,689
Bob, I will not be renewing-
413
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:07,320
[Sniffs]
Oh, What is that amazing smell?
414
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,330
Who's hungry?
415
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,767
- What are those?
- Only the holy grail of hamburgers- the Meatsiah!
416
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:16,601
Hmm. Are these choke-resistant?
417
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,606
- They're bite-sized!
- Oh, good.
418
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:23,206
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!
419
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,804
Huh?
420
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,905
I have never...
421
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,609
eaten a burger...
422
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,778
half-
[Choking]
423
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,685
- Hit him in the crotch!
- I'm just kidding.
424
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,724
- [Nervous Laughing]
- ...as good as this.
425
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,521
This is great! Yeah! Oh!
426
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:42,395
It's complicated.
It's-it's mystical. it's-it's barbaric!
427
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,796
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
428
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:47,302
- Mr. Fischoeder, I-I Wanted to-
- I'm talking, Jimmy.
429
00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:48,871
- Yeah, I Wanted-
- I'm talking.
430
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,738
Bob, you might be
the worst tenant I've ever had...
431
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,437
and I rent space to a raccoon sanctuary.
432
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,014
I know. They're next door.
I've been meaning to talk to you about-
433
00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,480
- Shh. it's okay.
- Right.
434
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,482
I get it now.
435
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:04,679
You were trying to tell me the other day, but I
wouldn�t listen because I was choking to death.
436
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,417
- Mr. Fischoeder, I just have-
- Jimmy, please! Please!
437
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,687
I was thinking about my life, you see...
438
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:14,594
and howl didn't want it to end
in your pathetic little restaurant...
439
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,757
on your sad, filthy floor.
440
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,664
- Hey!
- But now I see it.
441
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:20,236
You're not a businessman.
442
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,965
You don't care about customers and money.
443
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,540
- Ha!
- No, I do. I do.
444
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:28,544
No, no. You are an artist- a beef artist.
445
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,409
A be-fartist, a poet...
446
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,574
who writes with meat
and buns and pickles...
447
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,051
like a greasy, heterosexual Walt Whitman.
448
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,678
Uh, thank you.
449
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,348
- Okay. Well, Mr. Fischoeder-
- Jimmy!
450
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:42,982
- No, it's fair-
- Jimmy!
451
00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:45,288
- Talk-
- Please.
452
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,694
- Which brings me to your lease.
- Things are a little greasy.
453
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:51,199
Shut up! Which brings me to your lease.
454
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,938
- Let's extend it!
- All right, Bobby!
455
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,338
- But I gotta make it month-to-month.
- Oh.
456
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,740
Um, all right. We'll take it.
457
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,142
- And I have to raise your rent a little.
- Okay.
458
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,239
- That's- Yes.
- Yeah. Right.
459
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,978
- [Together] Daddy!
- Andy, Ollie, What are you doing here?
460
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,553
- Voodoo!
- What?
461
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,986
- Voodoo!
- Yeah, and we switched underpants!
462
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,957
- [Whispering] Ollie, that was a secret!
- I couldn't hold it in anymore!
463
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,325
These are your kids?
And you thought my kids were freaky?
464
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:22,228
- Come on, boys. We're leaving.
- No, we wanna stay!
465
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,325
- Yeah, it's fun here!
- Yeah, Jimmy. it's fun here.
466
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:26,732
- [Grumbles]
- Shush.
467
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,169
- All right! Let's celebrate!
- [Cheering]
468
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,798
Gene, uh, do us the honor. A little music?
469
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,036
[Gasps]
You believe in me.
470
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:36,339
Time to tickle the iron.
471
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:40,110
? A-ding, a-dong
A-ding-dong-ding ?
472
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,650
Slow jam
473
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,084
? Da-ding-ding
Da-ding-ding, da-ding-ding;
474
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:47,714
[Sighs]
Come on, Jimmy Jr. Let's get back to work.
475
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:51,522
No, Dad! I'm gonna dance with Tracy!
476
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,255
- Tina.
- Tina!
477
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,524
Ugh!
478
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,600
Yup. Voodoo Works.
479
00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,668
I am a god!
480
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,327
Am I doing this right?
481
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,804
Mort, do I look sexy? My pants
aren't falling down, are they, Mort?
482
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,875
When I dance,
sometimes my pants fall down.
483
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,102
?? [Whistling]
484
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,179
[Gene]
? A-ding-ding ?
485
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,339
? A-ding-ding ?
486
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:15,182
? Da-ding-ding ?
487
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,050
? Da-ding-ding-dong
488
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,214
? A-ding-a, a-ding-a
a-ding-a, a-ding ?
489
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:22,349
? A-ding-a, a-ding-a, a-dong ?
490
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,427
?? [Whistling Continues]
491
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:25,494
Oh!
492
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:26,528
? A ding-ding ?
493
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:27,961
Bobby, go!
494
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,693
Come on, Bob. Show us your ding-ding!
495
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,791
[Bob]
? Ding-ding ?
496
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:34,427
? Da-ding-ding ?
497
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,903
[Gene]
? Da-da-da-da-da-da- ??
498
00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:38,807
By Jeffreyalca
499
00:21:38,857 --> 00:21:43,407
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