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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:27,733 The landlord, Mr. Fischoeder, is coming over to talk about the lease... 2 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,966 - and we don't know if he's gonna renew. - He'll renew! 3 00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:32,304 Well, we haven't always paid our rent on time. 4 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,073 - We never pay our rent on time. - Thanks, Lin. 5 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,648 All right, listen. Your mother and I are gonna go make him some food. 6 00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:40,047 That's gonna save us- our food and our service. 7 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,211 - You kids start cleaning now. - Pick that up! 8 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:44,379 And, Gene, you go outside and try to drum up some business. 9 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:45,820 I'll play my triangle! 10 00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,653 ? Ding-da-da-ding da-da-ding, da-da-ding ? 11 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,590 - No! - You don't understand my music! 12 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,821 Shush. And here's the other important thing. 13 00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:55,127 When Fischoeder gets here, you will not- I repeat, not... 14 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,599 stare at him like he's some kind of spectacle. 15 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,500 - I don't ever stare at him. - I don't know What you're talking about. 16 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,665 Yes, Mr. Fischoeder is an eccentric. 17 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,640 Yes, he Wears a white suit. 18 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,143 And an eye patch. 19 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,940 And he drives a golf cart everywhere. 20 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,345 [Louise] He is one white cat away from being a super villain. 21 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:12,746 [Man] Mr. Fischoeder! Aah! 22 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,841 All right, but he owns this building, everybody. 23 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,854 He owns the amusement park and just about everything else in town... 24 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,356 so you're not gonna stare at him when he gets here. 25 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,587 - ?? [Whistling] - ?? [Nervous Humming] 26 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:26,163 - Here we go! - Bob, Linda. 27 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,755 Your children are refusing to acknowledge me. 28 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:31,165 Uh, kids, stop doing that. Acknowledge Mr. Fischoeder right now. 29 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,328 - Are you a superhero? - Can I feel your hair? 30 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,339 Stop! Stop! Go clean something now, all of you. 31 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:39,137 So, uh, Mr. Fischoeder, you know, after all these years... 32 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,439 - I realized you've never eaten my food. - Mm-hmm. 33 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:44,310 I want to present to you one of my favorite specialty burgers. 34 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,850 Oh, no offense, Bob, but I have a policy that I don't dine... 35 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,851 at any of my tenants' establishments. 36 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,548 - Oh. But I saw you eating at Doucie Sushi. - That's different. 37 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:55,649 That place is incredible! Have you had their starfish? it melts in your mouth. 38 00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:57,455 No? Nobody? 39 00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,359 - You? - No. 40 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,365 Anyway- Quiet in here 41 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,435 - Like this a lot, Bob? - Yeah. 42 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,197 Well, I mean, it's 12:30 43 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,932 - Sorta the lunch lull. - The lunch lull. 44 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,735 - That's What we call it. - Huh. 45 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,242 Wow. Jimmy Pesto�s lunch lull is really busy. 46 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,313 [Bob] Well, Jimmy Pesto's is a pizza place- 47 00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,211 if you're into that kind of thing- pizza. 48 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,045 - [Chuckles] Stupid. - I like pizza. 49 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,086 - Pizza? Where's pizza? - Shush. 50 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:26,123 Anyway, when people want a burger- a good American burger- 51 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,850 they have nowhere else to go but- 52 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:31,019 Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. Let me be honest with you. 53 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,496 I enjoy you, Bob. Your mustache- it's fascinating. 54 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,328 - Thank you. - Do you mind if I- 55 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,231 - You're touching it. - Yeah. I- 56 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,133 - That's- Yeah, you're- - it's really something. 57 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,705 - Thank you. - Thank you. 58 00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:44,775 [Moaning] 59 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,674 Listen, Jimmy Pesto has tendered an offer on this space. 60 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,838 Jimmy Pesto? He wants to move over here? 61 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:53,247 - Yes, he wants to move his gift shop over here. - Gift shop? 62 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,615 This would be an amazing gift shop! 63 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,915 [Gasps] I can do all my Christmas shopping here! 64 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,649 - Yes! - No, no, no, no, no, no. 65 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,283 Please, I-I think if you tried my burger, you'd see that- 66 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:06,228 Bob, you're always late with the rent, and Jimmy pays early. 67 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,458 Wait, wait, wait. Mr. Fischoeder, please. 68 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:11,035 Before you make a decision, just taste my burger. 69 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,263 - Just taste it. - [Sighs] Fine. 70 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,236 Another trip to the gym. 71 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,399 - Jimmy Pesto may be a good businessman... - [Choking] 72 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,944 But I think you'll find that, unlike his microwaved junk, my food is- 73 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,877 - [Choking Continues] - Mr. Fischoeder? 74 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,880 Mr. Fischoeder. 75 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,746 - [Gasping] - He's choking. He's chok- 76 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,443 - How do I do it? - You just push! 77 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,953 - What do I do? - Push on his belly! - Hit him in the crotch! 78 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,888 - No, Gene! Don�t hit him in the crotch. - Yes! Hit him in the crotch! 79 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,221 - I'll hold his hair. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 80 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,954 - Linda, please. - Oh, my God! 81 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,553 Wow! He's turning blue! 82 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,030 - Put his hand in warm Water! - He can't die! 83 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,465 - He cannot die in here! - Let's move him outside. 84 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,470 No! Everybody, hands around him! Group Heimlich! 85 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,370 - One, two, three! - Two, three! 86 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,841 - [All Grunting] - [Bob] There it is! 87 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,411 - Holy crap! - God. 88 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,275 - Give him some room, kids. - Give him room! 89 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,679 Oh. OW. 90 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,250 - So, um- - Ow. 91 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,377 Did you, uh- Did you like it? 92 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,479 [Groans] Your rent is due Friday night. 93 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:09,424 And if you're late, I'm giving your lease to Jimmy Pesto. 94 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,430 Do you want me to pack this to go? 95 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,828 You're gonna want fries with that. 96 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,298 [Linda] So, Mr. Fischoeder's okay. 97 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,670 But we've got to pay the rent in full by tomorrow night. 98 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:27,370 - Paying the rent in full! - What's next? Paying your other bills? 99 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,447 Don't worry. We'll figure something out. 100 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,141 - Right, Bobby? - Jimmy fricking Pesto. 101 00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,717 [Linda] Oh, Bob. 102 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:36,719 You know, Pesto's not his real name it's Poplopovich. 103 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,914 Of course it is. The guy's a complete phony. 104 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,650 What is this obsession with him? 105 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,727 - I'm not obsessed with him. - Yeah, you are. 106 00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,455 You're both obsessed. it's like you guys are stalking each other. 107 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,197 [No Audible Singing] 108 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,471 [Angry Scream] 109 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,476 I could care less about the guy. 110 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,173 I think you should both grow up, at least for the kids' sake. 111 00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,716 - Let me see. Let me see. - Ugh. The kids. 112 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,252 Why does Tina have to like Jimmy Pesto Jr.? 113 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,481 Of all the 13-year-old boys in the world. 114 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,285 Eh, she likes them too. It's kind of romantic though. 115 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,486 Two families at war, a budding romance 116 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,392 - it's like West Side Story! - [Groans] 117 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,965 ? Du-dun, du-dun, du-dun ? 118 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,329 - Rumble! - Stop. 119 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,561 ; Dun-dun-dun J; 120 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,933 You know, Louise is friends with the twins now too- 121 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,937 Pesto�s little boys, Andy and Ollie. 122 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:32,237 No, no, no. I'm calling a ban on all the Pesto kids. 123 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,573 Our kids are going to cease contact. 124 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,908 - Let's be best friends forever. - Okay. 125 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,849 Let's out our hands and press them together and become blood brothers! 126 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:45,616 - Okay! [Grunting] - No, spit brothers! Spit in your hand and then shake. 127 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,555 Let's do both! [Spits] 128 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,025 Sorry. I'm saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon. 129 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,653 Let's rub our eyes together. You can get my pink eye. 130 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:56,097 - Okay! - [Both] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 131 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,692 - Ow. Ooh! - So hard to be friends these days. 132 00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,397 Hey, is that your brother Jimmy touching himself all over? 133 00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,405 [Ollie] Yeah, he's really into slow dancing now. 134 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,772 [Louise] He knows it's supposed to be with other people, right? 135 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,936 - It is? - Ugh. Look at Tina. 136 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,537 Kissed the guy, and she still can't get his attention. 137 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,411 She should try pigs in a blanket. 138 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,678 That always gets my attention. 139 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,253 Ahhh. 140 00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:18,652 - ?? [Ballad, Faint] - [Grunts] 141 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,918 - [Bells Dinging] - Ugh. What's he up to now? 142 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,492 What? Oh, my God! 143 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:28,589 - �Now serving burgers - Burgers! 144 00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,362 - That's it. it's time for a showdown. - All right! 145 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,061 ? We're going to a rumble ? 146 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,661 I'm gonna confront him. 147 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:35,899 ? Gonna confront him ? 148 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,372 Confront him right in the face. 149 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,806 ? Yeah, right in his handsome face ? 150 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,002 - What? - What? 151 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:41,976 - You said �handsome face." - You did. 152 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,706 - It's a- - �Right in his handsome face." 153 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,510 - I know What I said! - You think he's handsome? 154 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,710 - God, yes. - No! I'm saying it with anger. 155 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,653 Like, �you handsome face!" He's so handsome you wanna- you wanna punch him. 156 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,348 He looks like Tom Selleck. 157 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,084 When I die, I want you to cremate me... 158 00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,559 and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face. 159 00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,994 [Wheezing Laugh] That's a crazy request. 160 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,759 - I get it. - All right, let's go. 161 00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,333 Kids, watch the restaurant. 162 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,203 ? We're going to a rumble ? 163 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,636 - ?? [Man Singing: Operatic] - Oh, Lord. 164 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,298 So many people. 165 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,637 Kids, watch the restaurant. 166 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,473 Tina, watch the restaurant. 167 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,911 Restaurant, we both know you can handle this. 168 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,279 Call me if you need me. Love you. 169 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,683 Jimmy said he'll be right out. You wanna try a Pesto-colada? 170 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,254 - Yeah, sure. - Lin! 171 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,619 - What? Free drink. - Yuck. Look at that. 172 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,851 �Pasta la vista, baby�? 173 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:32,020 �Frank and Zelda Oldies with Goodies"? Ugh. 174 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,122 Some confrontation. I want some action. 175 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,030 I need some action. 176 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,625 [Gasps] There's Jimmy Jr. 177 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:42,399 [Sighs] Busing tables has never looked so sensual. 178 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,475 - Yet so menial. - [Tina] Yeah. 179 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,408 Here's Jimmy. Now some fur's gonna fly. 180 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,980 Bob of Bob's Burgers. 181 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,175 Jimmy so-called Pesto of Jimmy Pesto�s. 182 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,252 Let's skip the niceties, shall we? 183 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,321 Pesto-colada for the lady- on the house. 184 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,788 - Thank you. - Except for that nicety. 185 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,552 - What are you doing, Jimmy? - What? 186 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,854 Selling burgers, coming after my lease. 187 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:07,227 What are you doing, Jimmy Poplopovich? 188 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,628 - Whoa. - Yeah. 189 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,531 - Your name is not What it says on the- - Mmm. Mmm! 190 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,763 - Lin. - Mmm. Yum. 191 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,396 - Stop. - That's good. 192 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,566 Bob, I run a business, all right? 193 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,610 I don't know What you're doing with your fancy ingredients. 194 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,805 �I'm Bob, and I like kale." Kale! 195 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,438 There's nothing wrong with kale. 196 00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:28,212 - Why don't you call it Snob's Burgers? - Snob's Burgers! Ha! 197 00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,914 You think anything that isn't frozen or rotten is fancy, Jimmy. 198 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,514 Okay, Mr. Fancy Face. Let's see who's got customers. 199 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,992 Ah, da-di-di-di. Ah, I got some. 200 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,654 Let's see who doesn't. Oh, you. 201 00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,665 [Chuckles] I've- I've got customers, Jimmy. 202 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,065 They're not there right now. They have a life. 203 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,899 Oh, yeah? Well, good luck making rent by tomorrow night. 204 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:51,635 Well, good luck trying to steal my customers with your Besto-Burger. 205 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,711 They'll never- Oh, my God! 206 00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,301 - Bob! - Unbelievable. 207 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,403 - We came to watch the ball game. - I had the urge to sing Journey! 208 00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,982 Come on, Linda. We're leaving! 209 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,379 Go, go. Go, go, go, 90- 210 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,453 [Slurping] 211 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,522 ?? [Continues] 212 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,621 - Hmm! - You're not gonna get our lease, Jimmy! 213 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,163 - He's gonna get our lease. - No, Bobby! 214 00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,062 Forget about Jimmy Pesto. 215 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,533 All we need is one really good day of business... 216 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,298 and then we can pay our rent and keep the place, huh? 217 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,432 - Huh? - I guess you're right. 218 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:27,739 - If we can pack the house tomorrow. - Sure! Packed house. 219 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:31,371 We can do that. Let's have a family brainstorm right now. 220 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:36,419 - Gene, go! - Uh, live entertainment featuring a mix of techno... 221 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:40,047 and Dads favorite- the triangle! 222 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,387 ? A-ding-ding-ding ding-ding, ding, ding-ding-ding 223 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,051 - No. - Tina, go! 224 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,061 Slow dancing. Grind, grind 225 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,688 - No. - Grind. 226 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,824 Tina, stop. What are you do- Stop that. 227 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,458 Louise, What do you got? 228 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,299 When I was young and naive, I would have said �arson�... 229 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,031 but I'm gonna go with �voodoo.� 230 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:59,268 - Huh. I like arson. - No. Seriously, Dad- voodoo. 231 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:00,844 - I have a book. - No. 232 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,935 - No, I have a book! I'll go get it. - I got it! 233 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:06,812 Make some flyers for half off, and good for tomorrow night only. 234 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,443 - You know, that might bring some people in. - Yeah, yeah. 235 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,682 - Okay, I found it. - Forget voodoo. We're doing flyers. 236 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,452 What? Whose candy-ass idea was that? 237 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,653 I'm out of the room for five seconds! 238 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,390 Ah, we�re on a roll. Let's brainstorm something else. 239 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,988 Uh, Christmas card. 240 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,193 No, no, no. We're done brainstorming. We got it. 241 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,668 Oh. How 'bout we shave our heads for the Christmas card? 242 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,864 - Spell our names wrong. - Shave our legs. 243 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,033 Totally soft, silky family. 244 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,372 - I like it. - I have a book! 245 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,471 Nobody forget What they just said. I'm gonna go get some paper. 246 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,146 Mmm. it's pretty good. 247 00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,350 [Laughs] it's pretty good. 248 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,394 [Crying] it's not good! it's not good! 249 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,929 It's not good! 250 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,999 Goin' in the garbage! 251 00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:02,263 If I can get a lock of Jimmy Pesto�s hair, I'm pretty sure I can control his mind. 252 00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,341 - Really? - I don't know. I'm just skimming. 253 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,808 All I know is it works on fools and imbeciles. 254 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:11,405 Oh, me, me. Can you help me dance Jimmy Jr. back into remembering we�re going out? 255 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:15,077 - Yes, I can. I just need a lock of your hair. - Okay. 256 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:19,020 - Can you help me get a gig in the music business? - Hair. 257 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:20,681 So long, old friend. 258 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,418 ? Bye-bye- 259 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,223 So if you stick the penny into the potato... 260 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:28,423 you've just made a battery out of a potato. 261 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,127 I've just made a voodoo doll out of a potato. 262 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,531 [Both] Aww! 263 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,298 - Who is it? - My sister, Tina. 264 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,634 She wants me to make your brother slow dance with her... 265 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,367 and remember that they're going out. 266 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,705 - Can you get a lock of your brother's hair? - Yup. 267 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,111 - Aah! - And you said I was crazy for carrying this around. 268 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,241 Now who's laughing? [Laughing] Me! 269 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,410 - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! - [Teacher] Settle down. Settle- 270 00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:51,385 Hi, kids. How was school? 271 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,785 - [Together] Good. - Yeah? 272 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,620 Mom, Andy and Ollie are helping me with a school project. 273 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:59,060 I'm gonna need 15 potatoes and a lock of hair from you and Dad. 274 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,654 Also rum and cigars, if you have any. 275 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,392 - Wait. What's this for? - English. 276 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,935 - You two have homework? - A little. - Not doing it. 277 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:09,268 Good, 'cause you're going down to the pier to hand out flyers. 278 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,170 [Grunting] 279 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,106 Aah! [Blubbering] 280 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,303 - [Rings] - [Tina] We're back. 281 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,006 - Did you pass 'em out? - Yup. We saved the family. 282 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,674 - Jimmy Pesto even took one. - So did Jimmy One Wing. 283 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,844 - He's a seagull I met. - What the hell? 284 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:26,822 �Tonight only our competitor's flyers good for 1/2 off your meal! 285 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,892 Plus a free T-shirt? 286 00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:33,225 - Oh, my God. - Aw, Mort's bringing his mother to dinner. 287 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,321 No. No. No! 288 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,199 Those are my customers! 289 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,435 This is a war now. This is a war 290 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,666 Listen, it's the theme from Braveheart! 291 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,470 ? Ding-ding-ding-ding ding-ding-ding ? 292 00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:48,010 - No! - Wait, wait. This is the best part. 293 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:54,244 - Dad, What are you doing? - Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. 294 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:58,345 Shh! Gene, Tina, this may be our last chance to save the restaurant. 295 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,754 Your father needs full concentration right now. 296 00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:04,658 He's attempting to make the most difficult burger known to man. 297 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,162 I've only seen him do it once successfully. 298 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,291 And now he has to do it in a mini sampler size. 299 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,892 - What is it? - He calls it �The Meatsiah." 300 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,667 it's beef tartare inside a burger, medium-well... 301 00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:18,400 inside a burger Wellington. 302 00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:21,740 - Is Dad gonna die? - Maybe, honey. Maybe. 303 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,041 Oh, he has to be happy with that one. 304 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,138 So how is this gonna save the restaurant? 305 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,775 Am I gonna put on the burger suit and hand these out in front? 306 00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,753 Oh, no. We're going straight to the source with these. 307 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:36,122 You're gonna be handing these out in Jimmy Pesto�s restaurant. 308 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,224 - Whoa. - That's right, whoa. 309 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,765 These samples are gonna get us our rent money tonight, so we can keep this place. 310 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,835 How are free samples gonna get us money? 311 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:48,667 They'll try the samples, and they'll love 'em, but they'll want more. More! 312 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,264 They'll be craving these burgers, itching to get their fix! 313 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,274 - Like heroin. - That's right, Son! 314 00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:54,867 - Like heroin! - Yes! 315 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,447 But this family's gonna have to execute perfectly to pull this off. 316 00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:58,776 Where's Louise? 317 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,351 [Louise] This one shall have his first gig. 318 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,148 - This one shall slow dance upon that one. - ? [Drumming] ? 319 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:07,224 And Mr. Jimmy Pesto�s fate is yet undetermined... 320 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:10,351 because I still need to get some of his hair. 321 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,429 I'm gonna go get it right now. Wanna come? 322 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,431 - We want to stay here. - Forever. We wanna stay here forever and ever. 323 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,730 - We want to be buried here! - Buried here! 324 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,703 Okay! I'll bury you when I get back. 325 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,967 [Jimmy] You're taking hair donations? 326 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,805 - That's right. - Mmm, for people with mustache cancer? 327 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,742 Yeah. it's a serious disease. 328 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,973 Hey, aren't you Bob's kid? 329 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,981 No! No, no. 330 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:36,952 Dad, Frank and Zelda both got the scampi, and now they're in the bathroom puking. 331 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:40,319 Oh, for Gods sake. Where am I gonna get another piano player at this hour? 332 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,414 We could put on some Boyz ll Men, and I could slow dance. 333 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,723 Hey, pepper, no! For the thousandth time, no! 334 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,059 - It's my passion, Dad! Passion! - Ah! 335 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,496 I know a guy. 336 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:53,297 - [Rings] - Hello. Bob's Burgers. 337 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,269 You tell Dad where you were going? 338 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,999 Mm, he's working on his burger bites. 339 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,167 Hey, there's a drum set. Back me up! 340 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:03,839 Sorry, it'll just be another minute. We're really backed up in there. 341 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,645 Gene got his wish! The voodoo is working! 342 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,277 How you doin'? Nice shirt. 343 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:14,017 Oh, my God! Gene's first public performance! 344 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,423 [Bob] These are almost done. ls everybody ready? 345 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,995 Aw! And my Tina's dancin'. 346 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,564 My little clam's coming out of her shell. 347 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,656 I'm just gonna slip out for one sec. 348 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:28,000 Okay, here we go. Time to go win back the restaurant! 349 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,766 Linda? Kids? 350 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,341 Oh, my God. 351 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,434 Gene was supposed to Wear the costume. Well, you know what? 352 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,342 I'll do this myself. 353 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,472 This next number's a slow jam 354 00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,846 it's called �Three Sides Don't Make a Square.� 355 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,180 ? Ding, ding, ding ? 356 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,515 ? Ding-ding Ding-ding-ding ? 357 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,556 ? Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding ? 358 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,318 - ? Da-ding-ding, da-ding-ding ?? - [Laughs] 359 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:51,884 - Thank you. - Ho-ho-ho! What happened? Did you snap? 360 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,863 Did Mr. Fancy Face take a trip to the sexy store? 361 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,831 - No. - It's a little small on you. 362 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,198 A little tight in the pickles, huh? What's on the tray? 363 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,771 These are burger bites, Jimmy. The best in the world. 364 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,841 I'm gonna show your customers What real food is. 365 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,534 Here, try a real burger, sir? 366 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,270 - Hey. - Ah. Well. 367 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:09,903 - En-eh. - I'm gonna go this way then. 368 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:11,572 - Nah-nah-nah. - Yeah. Well, then I�m- 369 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,513 - Deh-deh. - Don't poke me. 370 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,482 - Aah! - Real burgers, right across the street. 371 00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,882 - Hey, hey. - Just move. 372 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,080 - [Mocking] Just move. - Shut- What? 373 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,714 - ? I didn't do it. - Yeah, I did- [Babbling] 374 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,690 - Oh, no. - ls that Dad? 375 00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:26,319 And you people! Traitors! Traitor family! 376 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,898 It's Gene's first public performance. 377 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,697 You could've had me at the ground floor, Dad. Now I play the big rooms. 378 00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,998 You gotta let the kids have a little fun. 379 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,700 We have fun, Linda! We have lots of fun! 380 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,469 - What's he wearin'? - My buns. 381 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,239 - With a few extra buns hanging out the back. - ? [Rim Shot] ? 382 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,336 Ooh! Hey, Dad! I'm playing drums! 383 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,848 Oh, I'm so happy you're playing drums, Louise! 384 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:51,046 Hey, you know what? You should keep your freaky kids locked up in your own place. 385 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,918 What did you say about my kids? 386 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,993 - Hit him in his handsome groin! - [Both Grunting] 387 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,992 - Oh, watch it. - You- I- 388 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,085 - Ow! - Hey. Wait. Wait. 389 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,461 [Grunting Continues] 390 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,368 - Get him, Dad. - Come on! Come on! 391 00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,870 Don't worry, Dad! [Spits] 392 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,599 Anything? Anything? 393 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,700 I got the samples, Bobby. Aw, crap. 394 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,904 - That looks silly. - Come for the rent? 395 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,742 - Yes, I've come for the rent. - Bob! 396 00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,873 No, no. Let 'em fight. Looks like a betting crowd. 397 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,111 - Who wants three-to-one against the burger? - Right here! 398 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:26,314 Here, let me see. Let me see your money. Here you go. Oh! 399 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,020 [Quiet Grunting] 400 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,720 All right. it's a draw. 401 00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,889 - Who had �They end up hugging each other�? - Me. 402 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,762 - That's 10 to you. - Thank you. 403 00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:40,029 Now, Bob, Jimmy, let's all go over to Jimmy's new gift shop- 404 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,696 I mean- [Chuckles] Sorry. Bob's place- 405 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:46,004 and settle this over some nice alcohol, hmm? 406 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,078 Bob? 407 00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,949 - Do you have the rent? - [Sighs] No. Not all of it. 408 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,779 Okay then. Here we go. 409 00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:56,443 - Oh, God. - Give me your hands. 410 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,681 - Um, sure. - Do you cry easily? 411 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:01,849 - Um, sometimes. - Well, let's get it over With. 412 00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:04,689 Bob, I will not be renewing- 413 00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:07,320 [Sniffs] Oh, What is that amazing smell? 414 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,330 Who's hungry? 415 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,767 - What are those? - Only the holy grail of hamburgers- the Meatsiah! 416 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:16,601 Hmm. Are these choke-resistant? 417 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,606 - They're bite-sized! - Oh, good. 418 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:23,206 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! 419 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,804 Huh? 420 00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,905 I have never... 421 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,609 eaten a burger... 422 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,778 half- [Choking] 423 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,685 - Hit him in the crotch! - I'm just kidding. 424 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,724 - [Nervous Laughing] - ...as good as this. 425 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,521 This is great! Yeah! Oh! 426 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:42,395 It's complicated. It's-it's mystical. it's-it's barbaric! 427 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,796 - Thank you. - Mmm. 428 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:47,302 - Mr. Fischoeder, I-I Wanted to- - I'm talking, Jimmy. 429 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:48,871 - Yeah, I Wanted- - I'm talking. 430 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,738 Bob, you might be the worst tenant I've ever had... 431 00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,437 and I rent space to a raccoon sanctuary. 432 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,014 I know. They're next door. I've been meaning to talk to you about- 433 00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,480 - Shh. it's okay. - Right. 434 00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,482 I get it now. 435 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:04,679 You were trying to tell me the other day, but I wouldn�t listen because I was choking to death. 436 00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,417 - Mr. Fischoeder, I just have- - Jimmy, please! Please! 437 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,687 I was thinking about my life, you see... 438 00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:14,594 and howl didn't want it to end in your pathetic little restaurant... 439 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,757 on your sad, filthy floor. 440 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,664 - Hey! - But now I see it. 441 00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:20,236 You're not a businessman. 442 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,965 You don't care about customers and money. 443 00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,540 - Ha! - No, I do. I do. 444 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:28,544 No, no. You are an artist- a beef artist. 445 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,409 A be-fartist, a poet... 446 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,574 who writes with meat and buns and pickles... 447 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,051 like a greasy, heterosexual Walt Whitman. 448 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:38,678 Uh, thank you. 449 00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,348 - Okay. Well, Mr. Fischoeder- - Jimmy! 450 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:42,982 - No, it's fair- - Jimmy! 451 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:45,288 - Talk- - Please. 452 00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,694 - Which brings me to your lease. - Things are a little greasy. 453 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:51,199 Shut up! Which brings me to your lease. 454 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,938 - Let's extend it! - All right, Bobby! 455 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,338 - But I gotta make it month-to-month. - Oh. 456 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,740 Um, all right. We'll take it. 457 00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,142 - And I have to raise your rent a little. - Okay. 458 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,239 - That's- Yes. - Yeah. Right. 459 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,978 - [Together] Daddy! - Andy, Ollie, What are you doing here? 460 00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,553 - Voodoo! - What? 461 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,986 - Voodoo! - Yeah, and we switched underpants! 462 00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,957 - [Whispering] Ollie, that was a secret! - I couldn't hold it in anymore! 463 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,325 These are your kids? And you thought my kids were freaky? 464 00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:22,228 - Come on, boys. We're leaving. - No, we wanna stay! 465 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,325 - Yeah, it's fun here! - Yeah, Jimmy. it's fun here. 466 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:26,732 - [Grumbles] - Shush. 467 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,169 - All right! Let's celebrate! - [Cheering] 468 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:31,798 Gene, uh, do us the honor. A little music? 469 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,036 [Gasps] You believe in me. 470 00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:36,339 Time to tickle the iron. 471 00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:40,110 ? A-ding, a-dong A-ding-dong-ding ? 472 00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,650 Slow jam 473 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,084 ? Da-ding-ding Da-ding-ding, da-ding-ding; 474 00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:47,714 [Sighs] Come on, Jimmy Jr. Let's get back to work. 475 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:51,522 No, Dad! I'm gonna dance with Tracy! 476 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,255 - Tina. - Tina! 477 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,524 Ugh! 478 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,600 Yup. Voodoo Works. 479 00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,668 I am a god! 480 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,327 Am I doing this right? 481 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,804 Mort, do I look sexy? My pants aren't falling down, are they, Mort? 482 00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,875 When I dance, sometimes my pants fall down. 483 00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,102 ?? [Whistling] 484 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,179 [Gene] ? A-ding-ding ? 485 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,339 ? A-ding-ding ? 486 00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:15,182 ? Da-ding-ding ? 487 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,050 ? Da-ding-ding-dong 488 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,214 ? A-ding-a, a-ding-a a-ding-a, a-ding ? 489 00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:22,349 ? A-ding-a, a-ding-a, a-dong ? 490 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,427 ?? [Whistling Continues] 491 00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:25,494 Oh! 492 00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:26,528 ? A ding-ding ? 493 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:27,961 Bobby, go! 494 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,693 Come on, Bob. Show us your ding-ding! 495 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,791 [Bob] ? Ding-ding ? 496 00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:34,427 ? Da-ding-ding ? 497 00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,903 [Gene] ? Da-da-da-da-da-da- ?? 498 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:38,807 By Jeffreyalca 499 00:21:38,857 --> 00:21:43,407 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40008

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