Original subtitles

- This is your daddy! - I'm not her daddy!

- That man is not my daddy. - I ain't got nothing to say.

- You will when Dana get here. - Who in the hell is Dana?

- D-N-A. And you taking a pregnancy test.

- My life is over.

My generation, we don't live like this.

- So you guys want us to invest in this place?

- We're thinking it's gonna cost $40,000.

- Cora, you know this place could probably be a big,

old headache.

- You have to see the beauty of it.

- This could be a great investment.

- We'll do it, under one condition: you get a Dana test.

- Ain't no damn way.

- Morning, scrubs.

- Is it? Do you even believe that?

- Yes, I do, it's a great morning.

- How can it be? We're still here.

- Alright. At least I got the WiFi on.

- Barely.

- It's time for you all to get y'all asses up and go to school.

We 'bout to get you all registered, okay?

Come on.

- Oh. wow.

- What?

- I mean, it's probably little red school house on the hill.

Can't you just send like a telegram on a horse or something

and tell them we're coming?

- We have to give this place a chance.

We're gonna be living here now.

Come on.

- She went to the mall yesterday.

- Okay. And what happened?

- Well, let's just say every store is closed except for one.

- Well, I mean, look.

At least it's one store open.

Did you find something nice for school?

- It was a Big, Old, and Tall store.

Nothing but flannel... itchy stuff.

And boots.

Nothing fit me.

- Alright, well, look, please, baby.

Let's just try to make this work, okay?

- I am trying, okay?

- Okay, alright.

Alright, now y'all go get ready for school.

You're gonna have a great day, okay?

Sure.

Come on, Philip.

Let's go brush our teeth with bottled water and spit

right in the bucket that's supposed to be a sink.

Oh, how I love it here.

Oh, Miss Scarlett.

Miss Scarlett, wait for me!

- Yeah, she's so dramatic.

- Yeah.

Hey, it's not that bad.

- Honey? - Hmm?

- It's that bad.

- Yeah, this shit is horrible.

We gotta get the water on.

- Yes, immediately.

- Did you hear from Cora?

- No.

- Alright, well, maybe you should give her a call.

- Okay, well, I don't wanna look too desperate.

- Honey. - Hmm?

- Hate to break it to you, but we, uh, are desperate.

Beyond desperate.

- Okay.

I'll call them today.

- Okay. Please.

- Alright, but look. - Hmm?

- If they say no...

- Mm-hmm.

-... just brace yourself, okay?

- Okay, alright. - Alright.

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

- Alright, yeah.

Baby, look at me.

This is braced.

- Okay.

- But you think they gonna say no?

- I don't know, honey.

- They gotta say yes.

- I know. - Mm-hmm.

I gotta get some water in here.

- I know, 'cause our kids can only eat cereal.

- We never cook hot food for 'em no way.

You know we always getting nuggets and stuff.

- Baby, it's the thought that counts.

- I love you. - Mm-hmm.

I love you, too. - Mm-hmm.

- With your broke ass. - Hey!

You like this broke ass.

Lord, please let them say yes.

- Ooh, you look nice.

- Mom.

- What? You do.

- Wait, you really like this?

- Yes.

- Then I know I need to change.

- Not nice.

- Well, you know living here ain't nice either.

- You know what?

You will find some new friends at school,

I promise you.

- I'm not gonna find anyone I like here.

- Okay.

Don't be like that, alright?

- No, no, no.

Did you see the people at the mall yesterday?

They're like the flannel Children of the Corn.

They don't know nothing about no fashion.

- Give it a chance, okay?

- I did give it a chance.

I'm still here, right?

- Lil girl, I mean really, okay?

I'm trying to let you be your own adult,

but mama will throw down with you, alright?

- Okay, whatever that means.

- Come on, let's go.

- Oh, you see?

You should be just like your brother.

Has such a great attitude.

- You didn't hear him this morning.

- What he saying? - And I should be like him?

He's a loser and a mama's boy.

- Ooh.

That is not nice.

- And you push me again, you gonna be outside

pushing up daisies.

I don't care if you're my daughter.

I will go to jail gladly.

- And you say I'm dramatic.

- It's okay she called me a loser, Mom.

I'm used to it.

- It's still not nice.

- Yeah, well, she's having a hard time.

I mean, she acts like a child.

- Wait, what he say? Who... who is he talking about?

- Who else would I be talking about?

- Um... you do realize you're the youngest, right?

- Yeah, but I'm a man.

- Don't...

- What? - Don't do that. Hmm-mm.

- I mean, you know how women are so...

- Uh-uh.

-... dramatic.

- Philip. - What?

- You're about to... - Get us killed?

- Right.

- Are they looking at us?

- You know they looking at us.

- I'm gonna just go sit in the car.

- Yeah, smart man.

- You better run.

We gotta talk about your son!

- Lil girl.

- I'm going.

- 'Cause he ain't gonna be talking to me like that, okay?

- Okay. - No, no, he better stop that.

And I mean that. - Right.

- Shoot. - Look.

Listen. - Boy. Ha.

- Hey.

You want me to take them to school and get them registered?

- No.

I'm sorry, baby. No, you know what I want you to do?

I... I... I want you...

I want you to get the water running in this place.

- Did you call Cora?

- No, but I will call her and Mr. Brown when I get...

your kids settled.

- Okay, okay.

- Baby? - Hmm?

- I need you to get the water running.

- Okay. - Smell that.

See? It's like...

- This one worse.

- Water. - Okay.

- Please.

- I will, I will, okay?

Kids!

Love y'all!

- Boy, you don't love them damn kids.

- Will you stop it?

- I can tell by the way you look at 'em.

- I love my kids.

- Well, that's a first.

- What you mean?

- Didn't nobody love you or your water-ass head daddy.

- Grandpa, how could he be water-ass and head?

- It was amazing.

- Look, I don't know what you talking about,

I was loved in this family.

- By who?

- Grandma.

- And you believe that shit?

- Alright, alright, are you done?

- I could go all night.

So could your grandma.

- I don't wanna hear about that.

What's... what you doing with the toolbox?

- I'm about to fix the water, boy.

- You 'bout to fix the water boy?

- No, I'm about to fix the water... boy.

- Nah, nah, nah, you need to let me do that.

- You don't know shit about fixing shit.

- Well, more than you apparently.

- And... and what the... what the hell that mean?

- Look at this place.

- I mean, what about it?

- I mean, you've been here for months, and it's still a mess.

- Well, shit, I've been busy.

- Busy doing what?

You're here by yourself.

- See, the problem with you is, you have no idea what it takes

to be a farmer here in Colorado.

- For the last time, we are not in Colorado.

We are in Georgia.

And I'm about to cut that shit down in the backyard.

Ooh, boy, you cut that shit down if you want to.

You will be buried under some good ass weed.

- Come, come on. We gotta fix the water.

- Okay. - I'll help.

- Let me see your hands. - What?

- Let me see your hand.

- For what? Why?

- Let me see your damn hands.

- Here, man.

- Just as I thought.

- You can't feel my hand with a hook.

- It's sensitive.

- Well, what'd you think, Grandpa?

- I think you ain't never held a tool in your life, boy.

Not even your penis.

- Why... why you gotta be nasty all the time, man?

Everything is nasty with you.

What's wrong with you?

I have held tools.

- Oh, boy, I ain't talking about that kind of tool.

- Stop.

Stop it.

- Look, I'm just saying, boy.

You don't know nothing about power tools.

These is power tools.

These is tools that mens use.

The only thing you know how to push is a pencil.

- Can you just let me help?

- Alright, let see what you know.

Give me a... yeah, look in there and give me a pipe wrench.

- Alright, pipe wrench.

- Pipe wrench.

- Cool, that ain't nothing.

- Pipe wrench.

- Alright, uh...

- Pipe... pipe wrench.

- Here you go.

- Damn it, boy that is not a pipe wrench.

- Oh you... oh, you want the pipe wrench.

- Yeah, pipe wrench.

- My bad, I thought you said a regular wrench.

Here we go.

There you go.

- What the hell?

That is not a wrench.

That's not a pipe wrench, boy.

- Oh. - Pipe wrench.

- Okay.

There it is.

- Well, I'll be damned, that is not even a wrench.

Ah, hell. - What?

- This is not gonna work out. - What do you mean?

- Look, if you can't look in the box and pull out a damn

wrench, how the hell you gonna help me?

- I did pull out a wrench. I pulled out three of them.

- Boy, you pulling no damn wrench!

- You know what I'm gonna do? - What?

- I'm gonna take my nice fingers... and I'm gonna use it

and call somebody to come help us.

- Ah, hell.

- I'm calling.

- And with what money?

- Don't worry about that.

Let's... let's get an estimate, at least.

- Right, well, you go ahead and do that.

- I will.

- Okay, and you better have some money to pay his ass

when he get over here. - Okay, alright, I got this.

- That boy ain't got no damn sense.

Soft-ass hands and no damn brain.

- Hi. Yeah, is this the repairman?

- Who the hell call and ask if this is a repairman?

- Yeah, um, we have some water issues here.

- The shit don't work!

Say that.

- The shit don't work.

- There you go.

Hey. How you doing?

- Hi. Are you... - Yeah, Jeremey.

What's up, man?

- Yeah, you called about some repair work.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on in, come on.

- Oh. I know this place.

- Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, I used to do some of the work here.

- Really? - Mm.

- So, okay, you're familiar with the place.

Good, good. - Yep.

Phew.

- Okay, well, what do you need to do?

- Well, what you trying to do?

- I'm trying to get it reopen.

It's gonna cost you. - What do you mean?

- You understand what I said?

It's going to cost you!

- I guess we could take off money for the sprinklers.

Uh, but... but how much is what I mean.

- Do you mean what do you mean or how much?

- Brother, brother, you are confusing the hell out of me.

How much to open this place up? Just tell me.

- Oh, sure, I can.

Uh...

you bought this place?

- Kinda, yeah.

- Okay.

Oh, I was here before, and this old man came at me...

- Old man?

- Yeah, his name was Vinny or something like that.

- Oh, really? Okay.

- Man, he threatened to kill me.

- Nah.

Vinny? Vinny? No, Vinny's a sweet guy.

Why... why would he do that?

- 'Cause I told him how much it would cost to fix this place.

- Mm.

Oh, oh, oh.

So you have an estimate already?

- Yes, I do.

- Okay.

Can I see it?

- Oh, that was from a couple months ago.

Mm-hmm, and so, uh, it looks like it's got worse.

Looks like things going up.

- Well, uh, can you look at it and tell me what you think?

- Yeah, sure, I can.

- Okay.

Great, thanks.

- Oh, I'm glad that old man not here.

He about as mean as a snake.

- What the hell is he doing here?

- Grandpa.

- That's your grandpa?

- Yeah, this is my grandpa.

- Oh, hell no, I'm out.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Come on, man, please, just give me an estimate.

- Oh, I've got your estimate.

It's called high as hell.

- Will you please?

- Is he gonna threaten to kill me again?

- No, you good, man.

- It ain't gonna be a threat.

I'm gonna kill your ass.

- Will you?

Will you just take... just take a look, man, please, okay?

- Okay. - Thank you.

- But keep him on a leash.

- Leash?

I've got your leash right here.

- Okay.

Why you gotta be so damn mean to everybody?

- I'm not mean.

Call it being protective.

- Well, you ain't helping.

- Look, that man is a damn thief.

- Grandpa.

- I know him.

I know his damn daddy, know his uncle, know his mama,

know his auntie.

And the whole damn family ain't worth a damn.

They no good.

- We just trying to get an estimate.

We not dating his family. Relax.

- Oh, speak for yourself.

His sister fine.

Big ol' ass.

They ain't gotta do her.

I mean, she...

- Grandpa, Grandpa.

- ...and I would laser pipe on her... what, what, what?

- Okay, stay focused.

- Why the hell would you do that anyway?

I told you I could fix all of this.

- Like you fixed the kitchen?

- Boy, it's a work in progress.

- Just hear the man out.

- The hell with it. I'm out of here.

- Where are you going? - To get my bag.

- Okay, what bag?

- Look, how long... you know what?

Let his ass look around.

See what you can do. But you know what?

He's a crook. -

- His whole damn family is a crook.

And I know how to deal with crooks.

- Alright, well, you go do that.

- Hey, babe. - Hey!

- Hey. What did I walk in on?

- I'm sorry, babe.

- Oh. Whoo.

Yes. Okay.

What happened?

- Ah, no, no, it's alright, baby, I got it.

- Okay, okay.

- I'm calm, I'm calm. - Oh, oh.

Oh, oh. Okay.

- Let me breathe.

- Now breathe out.

Yes.

How'd it go at school, babe?

- Well.

- What happened? - Alright,

I got the kids registered.

- Mm. - Yes.

- Okay.

- You sure you're okay?

- My man... na, I'm alright.

- Okay, baby. Whose truck is that outside?

- It's the, uh... it's the plumber.

- My gosh, we have water.

Whoo, we have water! - Wait, wait.

- We have water. Huh, what?

- Just not so fast, okay? - Why not?

- We're waiting for the estimate first.

- Okay.

- Did you call the Browns?

- I did.

- And?

- I left a message.

- Alright. Man, alright, okay.

I hope they help us.

I don't need no damn help.

- How can he hear us all the way in here?

You see?

That's what I've been dealing with all day.

That's why I yelled at you when you came in.

- Okay. - That's my bad.

You know Gramps.

- You know, Gramps, this could be a really nice place

with a little love behind it.

The hell you yelling for?

I can hear you.

- What's taking him so long?

- Oh, ssh, ssh.

Here he go... here he go.

- Oh, damn, he got that doom look on his damn face.

- So?

- It's bad. - See? See? I told your ass.

I told... no, I told you.

- How... how bad?

- Well, I mean, if you gonna redo them bathrooms,

it's gonna cost you $9,000.

- What?

- Get him.

- Boy. - Grandpa!

- Get... $9,000?

Get your monkey ass out of here.

I'll fix it my damn self.

- Why so much?

- Well, you're gonna need some new plumbing.

You got the septic tank, gotta add that.

And you gonna have to...

- Let me tell you something, boy.

I can't stand y'all clown-ass people coming up in here,

trying to rip old people off.

Get your ass out of here.

- Grandpa, enough.

- He still here? Get out of here!

- You know what? Thank you.

We'll... we'll call you. - Okay.

Well let me know something soon, 'cause it only gonna get worse.

- I wanna kill him.

- Pops. - No, I want him murdered.

- You are not a gangster. What are you talking about?

- I was a big time gangster in Chicago.

- Yep, here we go.

- How the hell you think this happened?

Look, back in the day, I would've made a call...

One call... taken his monkey ass out.

He'd be swimming with the fishes.

- Grandpa... why your granddaddy think he's a gangster?

- Don't think I was a gangster, I was a gangster.

The other one had two hands.

I was hard.

I was ho-o-ood.

And I can fix all this shit in here myself... if it kills me.

- Yeah.

Hope that's sooner than later.

I heard that.

- Well, we know there ain't nothing wrong with his hearing!

Nothing wrong with my foot either!

- Oh!

It'll reach you to kick you in your ass.

- Okay, that's enough.

Grandpa Capone.

- Kicking somebody ass? - I don't know.

- What are we gonna do?

- Pray for a miracle.

- Yeah, well, I hope that miracle is in Mr. Brown.

- That's a colorful miracle.

But we'll see.

Now, until then...

this is a wrench.

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