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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,103 - I did some math. It's gonna cost about 40,000 2 00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,347 to get this place fixed up. - Dollars? 3 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:05,339 - Leah known somebody at the church. 4 00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:06,707 - Oh hell no. - Hello! 5 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,585 - You the one that was messing around with my wife. 6 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,444 - That was over 50 years ago. 7 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,355 - 'Cause that's the night I got even with you anyway. 8 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,381 - What? - You kissed my girl, 9 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,683 and I slept with yours! - Ee. 10 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,495 - Remember that hippo you was messing 'round with? 11 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,420 Six-foot six all the way around. 12 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,122 - Ain't nobody like that but Mabel. 13 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,624 - That's her name. 14 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,668 - A few months later, Madea came and told me she was pregnant. 15 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,628 - Oh hell, no. - And you look just like 16 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,941 my daughter Cora. - No, I don't! 17 00:00:30,839 --> 00:00:32,408 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 18 00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:35,578 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? 19 00:00:37,513 --> 00:00:39,515 - You look just like her. - Ooh! 20 00:00:39,548 --> 00:00:41,383 What are you saying? 21 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:45,354 - I'm saying you might be the baby daddy. 22 00:00:45,387 --> 00:00:46,855 - What are you talking about, man? 23 00:00:46,889 --> 00:00:48,490 - That's what I'm trying to figure out. 24 00:00:48,524 --> 00:00:50,526 - Okay, let me explain to you. 25 00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:52,828 - Mabel told me that I was Cora daddy, 26 00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:55,297 so I took care of Cora like I was Cora daddy. 27 00:00:55,331 --> 00:00:58,334 So then, I had... started giving her $14 28 00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,370 of my Social Security for child support. 29 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,373 Then, Mabel say, "We gonna go on 'The Maury Povich Show.'" 30 00:01:04,406 --> 00:01:07,576 So she came out on there, "Uuuh, uuuh," like that. 31 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,612 And Maury, he came with the envelope, 32 00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:12,348 he say, "You are not the father." 33 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,186 Okay, tell me what you and Mabel did. 34 00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:18,554 - Now you don't know what sex is? 35 00:01:18,587 --> 00:01:20,389 I tapped that bitch fat ass. 36 00:01:22,925 --> 00:01:25,427 - I don't be doing no tapping. 37 00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:28,464 - Hold on a minute, hold on a minute, hold on. 38 00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:30,199 Sh... let me see your tapping again. 39 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,411 - Why you keep doing it with your finger? 40 00:01:33,435 --> 00:01:34,436 Trying to make fun of me? 41 00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:38,674 - No, I... I just seen your tap, so I did my tap. 42 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,609 - You gonna try to make fun of a man with a hook 43 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:41,443 and just do... do like that? 44 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,312 That what the hell you trying to do? 45 00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:45,948 - I... I didn't do it with your girl. 46 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,284 - You're lying. You slept with her. 47 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,218 - I ain't do no love. 48 00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,320 I ain't sleep with nobody, I'm a Christian. 49 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:56,558 - Christian hell, you tapped that Christian ass. 50 00:01:58,761 --> 00:02:02,298 - First of all, Mabel ain't no Christian. 51 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,566 - Right about that. 52 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,269 - And second of all, it was one time. 53 00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:10,272 And I was drunk, and she took advantage of me. 54 00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:14,376 - And third of all... one, two, three... 55 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,845 you tapped that ass. 56 00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:19,315 - Did you just count the hook as three? 57 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,816 - One, two, three. 58 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,485 - Anyway, none of that matters. 59 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:28,290 I've been having nightmares ever since Mabel did love to me. 60 00:02:28,324 --> 00:02:29,725 - Who is Mabel? 61 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,594 - Oh, Mabel is a great, big old woman. 62 00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:34,263 They call her Madea. 63 00:02:34,296 --> 00:02:35,731 - Mr. Brown, that's not nice. 64 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,266 - Oh, don't be offensed. 65 00:02:37,299 --> 00:02:40,669 If you'd seen her, you'd be like, "Golly!" 66 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:41,880 - Yeah, he ain't lying about that. 67 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:46,342 She about 634... 634. 68 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,876 - And her waist is about... 69 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,745 Probably 'bout the size of this room. 70 00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:50,779 - Huge woman. 71 00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:52,915 And thought she was sexy. 72 00:02:52,948 --> 00:02:54,583 Just all in your face with it. 73 00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:55,818 - You should see her thighs. 74 00:02:55,851 --> 00:02:58,287 They big like somebody done attacked her with golf balls, 75 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,622 hail damage everywhere. 76 00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:02,024 - Oh my God, they just big and huge. 77 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,360 And they're hard as hell to keep up in the air. 78 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,705 I mean, I had 'em on my back, and I was trying to lift 'em up, 79 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,006 and they was bringing me down. And... 80 00:03:08,030 --> 00:03:09,474 - Okay, alright! Okay, that's... that's enough. 81 00:03:09,498 --> 00:03:11,367 That's enough! 82 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,735 - You get the picture. Don't you? 83 00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:14,036 - Mm. 84 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,413 - I don't think she get the picture. 85 00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:17,673 - Oh, yes... yes, I do. 86 00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:18,874 I don't wanna get it no more. 87 00:03:19,975 --> 00:03:21,019 - Well, I'm just trying to help, 88 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:22,153 that's all. - 89 00:03:22,177 --> 00:03:23,989 - Well, I don't need no picture, 'cause here she is. 90 00:03:24,013 --> 00:03:25,814 This all the proof I need right here. 91 00:03:25,848 --> 00:03:28,284 Cora? - What? 92 00:03:28,317 --> 00:03:29,785 - This is your daddy. - What? 93 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:30,953 - Say hi. 94 00:03:30,986 --> 00:03:31,986 - I'm not her daddy! 95 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,797 - What is going on? - Hi. I'm... I'm Leah. 96 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,666 - Oh, oh, oh, yes. - We spoke on the phone. 97 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,334 - Yes, I'm Cora. Nice to meet you. 98 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,712 - This is my husband. - Oh, hello, nice... 99 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,346 - Jeremy, yeah. - Nice to meet ya, Jeremy. 100 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,872 - And this is my grandfather, Vinny. 101 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,676 - Uh, no can speak English at all. No can. 102 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,744 - He lying. 103 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,646 Cora, I need to talk to you. 104 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,348 - Mr. Brown, okay... - Now! 105 00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,483 - Okay, don't be so rude. 106 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,917 - Ain't nobody being rude. 107 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,486 - Why are you in such a bad mood? 108 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,488 - I'm not in a bad mood. I was in a good mood 109 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,290 until I came over here, and I seen this... thing! 110 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,593 - Who are you calling a thing, thing? 111 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,928 - You, thing. 112 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,697 - You the one that thing. 113 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,066 - Wait a minute now, will somebody tell me something? 114 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,901 - Okay, he said... - Okay, we was... 115 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,376 - Hey, hey, okay, okay! 116 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,944 One at a time. 117 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,913 Are there any adults in the room? 118 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,415 - Yes! - Yes! 119 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,716 - I'm a full-grown man. 120 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,819 - I'm a fuller growner man than you. 121 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,454 - What really... what's going on here? 122 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,623 - We don't... we don't know. 123 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,892 - Look, all we know is my grandfather said 124 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,827 your daddy kissed my grandmother, 125 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,862 then he slept with some big, tall woman... 126 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,565 - Said she had like golf balls just in her legs. 127 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,367 A hippo or something. 128 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,903 - ...big ol' thighs, and he couldn't get her hooks up. 129 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,872 - Wait, okay, hold on, wait, wait, excuse me, I'm sorry. 130 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,442 Are you... I know y'all not talking about my mama. 131 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,810 - Oh, we're sorry. 132 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,545 We just repeating what they said. 133 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,722 - Mr. Brown, what's going on? 134 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,047 - Cora, I hate to tell you this. 135 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,416 - What? - But your mama is a charlatan. 136 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,953 - Do you even know what that mean? 137 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,656 - Of course. If I say stuff I know what stuff mean. 138 00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:23,590 - Well, what is it? 139 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,460 - She a thot. - What? 140 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,729 - A thing humans ought not touch. 141 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,031 Cora, look it up. 142 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,999 That's the Bible. 143 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,568 - That is not what that mean. 144 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:35,869 - What does thot mean then? 145 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,647 - They gonna tell you. Tell 'em what that mean. 146 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,740 - Um... 147 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,883 - That's because you don't know. 148 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,743 - I... 149 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,877 I do know what it mean. 150 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,011 Tell him what it mean. 151 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,914 - It mean that ho over there. 152 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,125 Don't look around. Ain't nobody coming. 153 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,418 Ho right there. 154 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,820 You ain't gonna find him. They right there. 155 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,921 - Now wait a minute now. 156 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,733 Hold on, y'all not gonna be talking about my mama 157 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,634 like that, and she's not here to defend herself. 158 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,594 - Cora, your mama could probably defend herself 159 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,663 right where she's sitting in her living room. 160 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,500 She could defend herself from North Korea. 161 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,667 - What do you mean? 162 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,803 - Blou. 163 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,905 She can fart and blow up there, Cora. 164 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:15,642 Her fart like nuclear missiles. 165 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,478 She let out some of them nuclear gas farts and kill us all. 166 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,180 - Okay, that's enough now. 167 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,991 - Your mama used to go in the bathroom in my house 168 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,517 and my house was next door. 169 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,886 I could smell her from her bathroom into my house. 170 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,421 I was wondering why all these birds 171 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:28,731 kept flying out the window. - Now... 172 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,959 - One time we had a whole bunch of dead locusts on our grass. 173 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,528 She had done killed everything in... 174 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,029 - Would you stop that, please? 175 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,033 - Cora, say hi to your daddy. 176 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068 - I'm not her daddy. 177 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,636 - That man is not my daddy. 178 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,738 - Nah, nah, he said he wanted to get revenge, 179 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,873 so he kissed your mama. 180 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,974 - He... he kissed my mama? 181 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,543 - I know, Cora. 182 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:53,680 It make me... it make me wanna throw up every time I... 183 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,016 think... did I have corn or something? 184 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,784 - Oh my. 185 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,821 - Mr. Brown. You kissed her too, didn't you? 186 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,889 - Cora, you know the story about that. 187 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,959 She hit me in the head, drug me in the car by one leg 188 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,795 and just... she did love to me. 189 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,898 She say, "Say my name, say my name." 190 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,767 "Mabel!" 191 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:21,108 All I seen was these two giant things coming down on my face. 192 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,477 And all of the sudden I said, "Got milk?" 193 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,724 - You're not gonna be talking about my mama 194 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,516 like that, Mr. Brown. That's enough. 195 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,317 - Now tell her. 196 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,785 - No, I ain't got nothing to say. 197 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,053 - Oh... 198 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,788 You will when Dana get here. 199 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,300 - Who in the hell is Dana? 200 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,760 - D-N-A, and you taking a pregnancy test. 201 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,865 - You cannot be that stupid. 202 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,633 - Are you gonna take a test? 203 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:50,804 - And you gonna take this foot all up in you're a... 204 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,005 Behind. 205 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,510 I'm not taking no test. 206 00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,078 - You... yes, you taking one today. 207 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,646 - No, I'm not taking no test. 208 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,014 - He is not my daddy. 209 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,258 - But, Cora, I'm trying to tell you... 210 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,717 - Why are you doing this? 211 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,261 - 'Cause if this man could be your daddy, 212 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,620 wouldn't you wanna know? 213 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,089 - Mr. Brown, you have been a father to me. 214 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,957 And that's all I need. 215 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,996 Mm, Cora... 216 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,864 that's so sweet, but... 217 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,900 - Well, thank you, Mr. Brown. 218 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,935 Now can we talk about why we're really here? 219 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,603 - No, I'm gonna go call your mama. 220 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,638 - Why? 221 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,748 - 'Cause I wanna know the truth. 222 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,575 - There's no way that random man could be my daddy. 223 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:29,910 - Cora, look at him. 224 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,579 - Well, wait... you 'bout to pop my neck. 225 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,014 What you... - Look, Cora! 226 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,686 - I don't look like him. - Okay. Squint your eyes. 227 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,054 Squint your eyes. 228 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:48,695 If you was this color, Cora, y'all'd be twins. 229 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,297 - Would... would you stop it? 230 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,733 You 'bout to smother-cate me. I can't breathe like that. 231 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,534 - It's smother-rate. 232 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,771 You know I'm telling the truth. 233 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:58,881 - You are not telling the truth. 234 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,607 I do not look like that man. 235 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,708 Now, calm down. 236 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,079 - I'm sorry, Leah. 237 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,048 So, you guys want us to invest in this place? 238 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,258 - Mm-hmm. - Yes, we do. 239 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:12,261 - Okay. So, do y'all mind if we just take a look around? 240 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,263 - Nah, nah, go ahead, take it. - Okay. 241 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,531 - Would you like us to show you? 242 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,159 - No, just let us go alone, and then I can get him to calm down. 243 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,628 - Calm down? You ain't gotta instruct me to do nothing. 244 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,066 I ain't got to do nothing but stay black and die. 245 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,070 - Well, you already black. When your ass gonna die? 246 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,772 - Would you stop all this cussing? 247 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,674 - And that... that's your real daddy. 248 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,043 - That is not my damn daughter! 249 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,946 - I'm not gonna tell you to stop cussing again, man. 250 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,649 - What you gonna do? 251 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,719 You gonna pray for me? 252 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,621 - Yes, I have been known to do that. 253 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,855 Lay hands. 254 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,625 - That's cold. That is cold. 255 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,026 That is really cold. 256 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,063 - Cora, he talking about... you have to lay hand on him. 257 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,244 - Just come on. Let's just go. - Where we going? 258 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,903 - Okay, the kitchen is that way. - Okay. 259 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,647 - We have some rooms on this side of the house. 260 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:05,848 - Alright, alright. Come on, come on, let's go. 261 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,107 - You go! 262 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,818 You look like him from the back, too, Cora. 263 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,178 You all walking like him. 264 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,913 - I hope he didn't ruin it for us. 265 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,282 - The hell you blame that on me for? 266 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,983 - You don't see what you just did? 267 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,719 - He came here messing with me. 268 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,155 - What? 269 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,958 - I mean, I don't want no more children. 270 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,194 - Pop, that woman ain't no child. 271 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:30,130 - I'm just saying, son, if she is my child, 272 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:34,935 she lay claim to all of this. 273 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,837 All this could be hers. 274 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,405 She'd take it from me. 275 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,973 We won't have it. 276 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,284 - Alright, calm down. 277 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,344 - Boy, how in the hell am I supposed to calm down? 278 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,079 I had one child. 279 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,714 And that was your ugly-ass daddy. 280 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,225 - Grandpa! 281 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,885 - You know, and I swore for God I'd never have another one. 282 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,255 I did. Man, I had it wrapped up so many times... 283 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:59,025 I couldn't even feel nothing. 284 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,328 I put duct tape around it. 285 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,463 - Uh. - Super glue, 286 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,899 and I'd go in. 287 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,744 - That doesn't sound like that feel good at all. 288 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,078 - At all. - It didn't feel good at all. 289 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,470 But I was safe. 290 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,074 - Never had a disease... 291 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,910 or a baby either. 292 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,845 - Okay, alright, we get it. 293 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:24,718 - I was so relieved when your daddy got struck by lightning. 294 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:25,986 Ooh, I was so relieved. 295 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,354 He was fishing. 296 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,790 He caught a big-ass fish, right? 297 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,859 And when he died, we went in and got that fish. 298 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,796 The lightning cooked it right there, 299 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,365 and we put hot sauce on the fish and ate it. 300 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,768 Left your damn daddy sitting there. 301 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,379 - You told me my daddy died in the line of duty. 302 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,505 Stop. - No, no, no, son. 303 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:51,111 Your daddy died getting some booty. 304 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,222 - I... I can't believe you saying this to me right now. 305 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,848 I'm... I'm not going for that. 306 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,349 - You need to believe it. 307 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,486 - Alright, well, listen, this what you need to believe. 308 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,122 There's no way in the world that woman in there is your daughter. 309 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,991 - Well, I had to confess, 310 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,261 I... I did sleep with the tree. 311 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,363 - Ooh. 312 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,865 - What tree? 313 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,900 - The weeping willow. 314 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,036 Big, more like a big oak. 315 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,006 I had to get a ladder to get on top. 316 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,443 But it was pretty good, though. 317 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:24,778 - Okay. 318 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,380 - It was also very confusing. 319 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,258 - How so, Grandpa, tell me? 320 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:33,420 - There, it all started with her braids. 321 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,322 They wasn't on her head. 322 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,357 - Euuh! - Oh my, uh... 323 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,269 - And she had beads on 'em, too. 324 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,362 - Oh, alright, okay. That's enough. 325 00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,366 - Grandpa Vinny, how 'bout we run a timeline? 326 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,368 We can dispel all of this. 327 00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:52,215 - Well, you know what? I think my memory's fading. 328 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,475 - I need you to remember just what you need to, okay? 329 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:58,812 - I... sometimes, I can remember things, and then sometimes 330 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:02,082 I forget things I don't wanna remember in the first place. 331 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,529 - Nah, nah, you know what, baby? That's a good idea. 332 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,455 - Okay. 333 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,925 What was the date? 334 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,894 - Well, let's see, uh... 335 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,564 I don't remember. 336 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,300 - Um... 337 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,268 you remember. 338 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,838 You said it was, uh, uh, 1966. 339 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,006 - That's what he said. 340 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:30,253 1966, that's right. I mean, she looks to be about that age. 341 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,045 - Yep. And you know what else? 342 00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,914 - Hm? - She look like my aunt Hazel. 343 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,115 - Does she? 344 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,050 - Yep, let me find a picture. Let me see. 345 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,462 - Boy, don't you do that, don't you show her that damn picture. 346 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,121 Uh-uh-uh-uh. 347 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,856 - Look. 348 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:47,094 - She does. 349 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,463 - I know. I really miss my aunt Hazel, man. 350 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,497 She was so cool. 351 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,265 Real sweet. Real sweet. 352 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,167 And she was the peacemaker in the family. 353 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,445 And you know we needed it with this... 354 00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:57,637 - Whatever. 355 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,315 - But you know what I miss the most about her? 356 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,540 She could blow. 357 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,642 She had a beautiful, beautiful voice. 358 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,177 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 359 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,156 - Wow. 360 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024 - Ah, she sound just like my aunt Hazel. 361 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,526 No, hell no. 362 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,496 She sound flat to me. 363 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,965 She could never sing with Kirk Franklin. 364 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,600 God littlest's Christian. 365 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,934 - Ooh. Mm. 366 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,170 - You can wear him around your neck. 367 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,338 "Glory, glory." 368 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,373 - For real? - Ignore him. 369 00:14:41,063 --> 00:14:42,431 - Cora, oven don't work. 370 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,902 'Frigerator nasty, got stuff growing in it. 371 00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,679 - Oh, we could just clean that up, ain't nothing wrong it. 372 00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:48,743 We just clean this all up. 373 00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:50,773 I got a good... I could see it, I could see it now. 374 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,074 - You clean it up. 375 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,509 - This place is nice. 376 00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:55,511 You got to just look beyond what you see... 377 00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:57,980 - Cora, I don't like it. 378 00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,515 - Why not? 379 00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:02,919 - 'Cause your... your daddy. 380 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:05,354 - That man is not my daddy. 381 00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:07,065 - Children don't really know who they daddy is. 382 00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:09,034 - Yes, I do know who my... - The only way they know 383 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,860 if they mama tell 'em who the daddy is. 384 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,795 But they don't know for sure. 385 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,506 Especially if they mama was like your mama. 386 00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,499 - Would you stop talking about my mama? 387 00:15:16,532 --> 00:15:18,468 - You know how many men she had at her house? 388 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,502 - Look, now! 389 00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:20,670 - She was like a doorbell. 390 00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:21,971 - Would you stop that? 391 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,673 - You press it, something open. 392 00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:25,708 Wooh. 393 00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:28,778 Cora, your mama was like a doorknob. 394 00:15:28,811 --> 00:15:29,579 - Enough is enough. 395 00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:32,482 - Everybody got a turn. - You... 396 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,084 - Cora, your mama was like peanut butter. 397 00:15:35,117 --> 00:15:36,052 - Would you stop? 398 00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:38,087 - An easy spread. 399 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,457 Cora, your mama was like Hawaii. 400 00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,535 - I'm gonna spray you in your mouth if you don't stop. 401 00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:44,961 - Everybody got a lei. 402 00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,006 - It wouldn't even work. Stop talking about mama. 403 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,565 She's not here to defend herself. 404 00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:51,067 - Just it, Cora. 405 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,836 - And Madea would have told me if that was my daddy or not. 406 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,905 - No, she wouldn't have ya. - Yes, she would have. 407 00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:57,640 - You know I'm telling the truth. 408 00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:59,113 - Listen, listen, stop it, Mr. Brown. 409 00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,576 - Okay. 410 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,111 - This place could be amazing. 411 00:16:02,145 --> 00:16:03,579 - Cora, no. No, it couldn't. 412 00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:04,647 - Yes, it could. 413 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,549 This could be a great investment. 414 00:16:06,582 --> 00:16:08,851 - And that's the same thing your mama used to tell men. 415 00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:11,754 "This could be a great investment." 416 00:16:11,787 --> 00:16:14,790 - I want you... 417 00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:15,858 You know what? 418 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,593 I'm laughing, but that's not funny. 419 00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,495 - You laughing 'cause it is funny. 420 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,074 - Okay, you gonna just keep this up, Mr. Brown? 421 00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:23,909 - Okay, I'm sorry, Cora. - Well, this place... look, 422 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,635 it could be a great investment for you. 423 00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:27,069 - Cora, I don't need no investment. 424 00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:28,747 - Yes, you do need an investment, Mr. Brown. 425 00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:30,773 You getting old, your income is not enough. 426 00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:32,484 - Cora, you know this place could probably be 427 00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,743 a big ol' headache. 428 00:16:33,776 --> 00:16:35,554 - No, it would not be a headache, Mr. Brown. I... 429 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,780 - And what was all that I saw in the backyard? 430 00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,758 - I don't know, just look like a bunch of plants or something 431 00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:41,450 that just need to be cut down, that's all. 432 00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:43,562 - Well, I'm gonna have to bring my lawnmower if we do it. 433 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,488 - Well, I think that's a good idea, Mr. Brown. 434 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,723 But I think you should get in on this deal. 435 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,893 - That's the same thing your mama said. 436 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,763 "Get in on this deal." 437 00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:55,965 - Mr. Brown, no, seriously. Now stop playing. 438 00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:57,233 Concentrate. 439 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,801 - How much money they talking, Cora? 440 00:16:58,835 --> 00:17:00,078 - I don't know. They didn't tell... we didn't 441 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,547 talk about the money yet, but how 'bout... 442 00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:05,007 - That's the same thing your mama said. 443 00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:06,676 Cora, I don't know if I can do it. 444 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:09,745 - I think you could... Should consider it. 445 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,048 - You think she's thinking about it? 446 00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:13,683 - She look kinda happy. 447 00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:16,052 - Yeah, kinda like your aunt, uh, uh... 448 00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:17,053 - Hazel. - Yeah. 449 00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,654 - I don't wanna hear that. 450 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,723 I don't wanna hear that at all. 451 00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,592 - This is a good business idea. 452 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,660 And I think you could make some good money by it. 453 00:17:24,694 --> 00:17:27,096 - Well, fine. I just wanna see if he your daddy. 454 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,932 - That would be crazy, Mr. Brown. 455 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,234 - Well, I'm calling your mama. 456 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:34,003 - For what? For her to cuss you out? 457 00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:36,072 - You got a point. 458 00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:39,318 - But she might tell me... in between her cussing. 459 00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:41,053 - Mr. Brown, she's not gonna tell you anything, 460 00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:42,678 so don't... don't call her. 461 00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:43,813 - Cora? - Hmm? 462 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,481 - You look like Bill Clinton. 463 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:49,194 - Come on, let's just go talk about the money. 464 00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,953 - Now we gotta get the ex-president tested. 465 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,227 - Would you just come on, we not worrying about all that. 466 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,794 - Alright, well, we looked around. 467 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,595 - Okay. What you think? 468 00:17:59,629 --> 00:18:00,997 - Well, it needs a lot of work. 469 00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:04,267 - You... you have to see the beauty of it. 470 00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,235 - Well, we do, and we like it. 471 00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:07,770 - We? 472 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,707 You speak for yourself. Ain't nobody French in here. 473 00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:12,942 - Mister... - Oui-oui. 474 00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:14,010 - Mr. Brown. 475 00:18:14,043 --> 00:18:15,711 - No, it's you-you. 476 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,215 - So, what is the offer? 477 00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:22,652 - I mean, we thinking it's gonna cost probably like $40,000 478 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,086 to get this place fixed up. 479 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,556 - Okay, okay. 480 00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:28,658 - And that's what we'll need for 40% of the company. 481 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,159 - Okay. - So it's a good investment. 482 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,294 - What? 483 00:18:31,394 --> 00:18:33,029 Cora, let's go. - Mr. Brown... 484 00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:34,239 - But I did... did I say something wrong? 485 00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:38,310 - Yes, $40,000! 486 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,311 - Look, I'm sorry. 487 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,571 - Cora, he said, $40,000. 488 00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:42,805 - Yes, I heard him. 489 00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:45,007 - This place ain't worth $40,000. 490 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,645 This place ain't worth $4. 491 00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:50,646 - Mr. Brown, stop it. 492 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,784 - Well, Cora, where am I gonna get $40,000? 493 00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:57,253 - You gonna get it from in your sock under your mattress. 494 00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,891 - Cora, what you telling these people my business for? 495 00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:04,627 - Well, I... - They could be robbers. 496 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,995 Look at him right there. 497 00:19:06,028 --> 00:19:08,798 He look like he could steal. 498 00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:10,075 I bet you he could pick a lock, Cora. 499 00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:13,102 He just put that thing... and he hook around... come around and... 500 00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,704 - Would you stop it? Don't do that. 501 00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:24,104 - Well, listen, I think it's a great idea. 502 00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:26,673 I just need some time to talk to him about it, okay? 503 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,984 - Ain't nothing to talk about, Cora. 504 00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:29,643 - It is something to talk about. 505 00:19:29,676 --> 00:19:31,211 - You... yes, you can do that. 506 00:19:31,245 --> 00:19:33,247 - I just need a few... just a few days, alright? 507 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,682 - Take all the time you need. - Absolutely. There is no rush. 508 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,060 - Alright, okay. - Thank you. 509 00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:38,719 - But can you let us know by Friday? 510 00:19:40,621 --> 00:19:43,824 - Okay, I... I'll get him to do it. 511 00:19:43,857 --> 00:19:45,168 - Oh, Cora, you ain't got the... you don't think 512 00:19:45,192 --> 00:19:46,360 I could hear you? - Huh? 513 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,095 - You know I got x-ray vision hearing? 514 00:19:48,128 --> 00:19:50,064 - What? - I can hear everything. 515 00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:51,999 My hearing is 20/20. 516 00:19:52,032 --> 00:19:54,968 - Your eyes are 20/20, Mr. Brown, not your ears. 517 00:19:55,002 --> 00:19:56,336 - Whatever. - Mister... 518 00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:57,337 - Don't nobody tell me. 519 00:19:57,371 --> 00:20:00,607 I ain't been told what to do since I was two. 520 00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,218 Only person tell me what to do is the Lord, 521 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,362 and He ain't saying nothing. 522 00:20:05,379 --> 00:20:07,281 Exactly. - Mr. Brown. 523 00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:10,017 How 'bout I fix you my famous cinnamon chocolate cake 524 00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:12,953 with the nuts on it, with the glaze? 525 00:20:12,986 --> 00:20:14,297 - With the little cherry on the top? 526 00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,923 - With a cherry on the top. 527 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:19,727 - I heard the Lord, and the Lord said... 528 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,961 - What you hear Him say? 529 00:20:20,994 --> 00:20:22,262 - We'll do it. 530 00:20:24,398 --> 00:20:26,233 Under one condition. 531 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,267 - What's that? 532 00:20:27,301 --> 00:20:29,837 - You get a Dana test. 533 00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:31,171 - I'm not taking no Dana test. 534 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,775 - And another thing. 535 00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:36,110 You stop all that cussing. 536 00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,981 - Ain't no damn way. 537 00:20:44,184 --> 00:20:46,153 - Don't worry about it, he'll stop. 538 00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:47,187 - Okay. 539 00:20:48,322 --> 00:20:50,858 - We got a deal then. 540 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,354 Subtitles >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 541 00:20:56,404 --> 00:21:00,954 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39642

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