Original subtitles

So true! Even for us first cousins,

if we bump into each other, we won't recognize each other.

Luckily I survived the Great Famine.

I would've died if I'd stayed in the village.

So many died in the countryside.

Back then, I was stupid.

I didn't test into college because I didn't study hard.

So I focused on educating my son and daugher from a young age.

They had to do better academically.

In my family, I was the only one who went to college.

The two of you...

went to even better schools.

I feel my life hasn't been a... complete waste.

I didn't...

let my ancestors down.

Hurry and come over. Damn, stop acting coy.

Grandpa, we wish you good health...

You were always a model good boy.

As the only boy in the clan,

you were expected to have children and get a good job.

So I can continue to...

-Make the ancestors proud. -...make the ancestors proud.

Yes.

Happy birthday to you.

See you all in another ten years.

Yes, at your 100th birthday.

You all have to come back for my 100th birthday.

-Of course. -Absolutely.

You must bring back a wife for my birthday.

Not a girlfriend. A wife.

A grandkid would be even better.

No need to be cute?

Doesn't matter. As long as they are your own.

Not adopted.

You already have two great grandkids.

They are your sister's. I want to see yours.

So, I asked your mom why she's not worried.

I said, "Tell your son to come back to get on those dating shows,

such as Saturday Rendezvous."

There are so many new shows now, like Dating: China Style.

In that show, there are so many...

girls with both beauty and talent.

Get out of my way. Why are you filming this mess?

Enough, enough! So annoying!

I'll never allow you to come home again!

You say that every time.

Neither of you picks up after yourself or goes to bed on time.

We sleep at normal hours. It's you who always stays up late.

I have to wait for you to go to bed first,

so I can bleach your white laundry at night!

I think for your mom...

her family is her focus.

Her hobby is to make her family...

ever cleaner and more perfect.

As soon as you get up, you yell and I wake up.

If I don't yell to wake up your dad, no one in this family would get up!

Who'd do the work? Your dad...

-I have to wake him up every day. -I don't do any work.

Your mom says the only thing I do is mop the floor.

Get to it. Get it done already!

I don't have energy like before.

I feel very tired every day.

-You will all tire me to death! -Mom is the spine of this family.

Mom loves to nag.

She had tamed Dad into a "good" dad.

So she wants to use the same method

to tame us into model "good" kids.

I want comfort, too! If you made a lot of money...

-But you haven't. -I've made money.

If you made a lot of money,

I'd buy whatever I want

and travel wherever I want.

The only discomfort now is...

your mom's high demand for daily cleaning.

Total bullshit!

My demand for cleaning? Bullshit.

So sometimes I wonder,

am I lucky to have been born into this family?

Sometimes I feel happy.

And then...

for me personally...

I'd say a speedy death is the ultimate happiness.

For old people, the faster the happier.

I don't want to talk about my daughter!

Wait, let me tell you about my daughter!

Yes, the two of them want to be together!

The boy Zhao Jing likes...

Let's meet him to see if we like him.

If not, we'll break them up.

You all think that's control, but I...

I feel that...

we have a good education model.

I admit I have a bad temper.

But why did I end up with this bad temper?

For Mom, she has...

always treated us as little kids.

So she would never let go of control.

I know. I'll never forget it.

I remember you wrote me a letter at that time.

I... I read it for a long time.

And I remember clearly I cried for a long time.

Did you ever suspect anything?

I'd never heard of such a thing! For our generation,

the concept of homosexuality was nonexistent.

I knew nothing about it.

And those colleagues of your dad's and mine,

no one knew anything either!

Have you researched online to understand what this is about?

This I know. This I know, it's...

what's it called...

It's called... the issue of orientation.

This I know. I know.

Only that, when this happened to you...

it dealt my dreams...

a devastating blow.

Look at Empire State, the tallest building ahead.

You told me it's very prosperous.

But it doesn't look that way.

What a mess!

No place to hang a bag.

Such a simple place costs so much money...

This is New York!

Finish it soon so you can rest.

It's so dirty!

Look, the grease has hardened.

Son, can I wash your sneakers?

Son, look how clean your mom made it.

Mom, this is the famous clam chowder. Do you like it?

Um... how should I put it?

I adamantly object to people like you having kids.

If you had a normal family like your sister's,

I wouldn't object to you having kids.

I imagined that you would remain single,

have a good job and save some money,

so that when you are old you could afford quality senior care.

If you could die that way, with enough money,

only that would ease my mind.

Don't you ask yourself why you went to college and got an MBA?

What do you hope to achieve in filmmaking?

Even if you do achieve something, since you're making documentaries,

it won't amount to much.

You guys worry too much.

My son...

Worrying is a great tradition for us Chinese.

He can't see things

from our standpoint.

You're not in our shoes.

I won't mention your being gay, okay? Now I can forgive you.

I simply love you too much, So I have to...

accept what you chose, right?

Was it like complicated to figure out the logistics of making that happen?

Sorry, can you tell me how you guys reached the first decision

about surrogacy versus other types of...?

Best to find a Chinese egg donor.

I'd prefer our offspring be pureblood.

Absolutely no kids!

If you insist, I'll divorce your dad for sure!

The egg donor is Chinese, but the one pregnant is a foreigner?

How old is the egg donor? What's her education level?

She has to be smart, pretty and nice tempered. Where do I find one?

It's not like I'm looking for dates.

I've been praying for this day to come.

Is this grandkid different from sister's kids?

Very different. Yours is the male line. Male line or not,

for us old traditional folks,

there is a difference.

I really have no other choice, my son.

You think I want this?

I really have no choice, ever though it still bugs me.

But the kids are on their way, so I can only encourage you to raise them well.

You think I can accept you now? I really can't.

I'm happy as long as I have a grandson.

His mom is coming up.

-That's awesome. -They met him in April.

Yes! Obviously you are still alive so everything went well.

Now we have all these friends who want to do the same thing as us.

Son, take a nibble at this. You won't find this in America.

-This tastes good. -I don't like chicken feet.

In the future, when the kids are grown,

how will you explain it to them?

Just tell them they have two dads.

What about their mother?

No mother. Only surrogate mothers.

Why bother telling them that?

Keep this a secret forever.

I think we should try our best to...

hide this from friends and relatives.

Then how will we explain it when we bring the kids back?

I'd say their mother...

-Is gone? -Not that.

So she's dead?

-That wouldn't do. -How would you explain it then?

I don't know how.

We can say she's an... illegal immigrant.

Completely illegal. So, she dare not leave the U.S.

Just tell the truth. What's the big deal?

-Say she's dead? -Let's tell the truth!

No way. Absolutely not in China.

Wu Hao, that really won't work.

Will grandpa be able to understand this?

Grandpa is more stubborn than Mom.

But you never know...

Grandpa... in some ways, is more open and hip than Mom.

What?

Do you worry like my parents about me doing films?

-Doing films? -Yeah.

That's fine. The problem I see...

You should find...

a girlfriend.

Better someone who can work with you. Right?

Hey, where's your companion?

My assistant is coming soon.

Hello.

How are you? Sorry for being late.

Grandpa, how old are you?

Over 92 years old.

You are in great health.

-His dad is from Guang'an region. -Oh.

He was born there.

I'm introducing our family background.

He may skip details.

You live in the U.S.?

Yes. We both live in New York.

Hey! When you come back next year, bring one more person home.

Why are we talking about this?

She's here to help me film.

Bring back a little rascal.

Next year he will skip the middle steps and directly bring a kid home.

Do you want a boy or a girl?

It's entirely up to you.

It's not about what I want, but what you want.

What the two of you want.

Me and her?

How would I know?

Only you would know.

Wu Hao,

how come my grandson is so ugly?

As long as he has double eyelids.

I'm worried about single eyelids.

Remember to pull his nose.

Do it often, during napping or when you play with him. Got it?

As time passes,

as the kids continue...

to grow and mature,

you'll begin to understand

what it takes to be a parent,

and the thoughts and actions that go with it.

You'll understand it better.

Right?

Can you see me, Leni?

Now that you have kids and I can't give you any help,

I feel very guilty. Your life has been so tough already.

Mom, why on Earth are you talking about this?

Happy birthday, little one. Look how happy you are!

We'll visit grandparents in February, okay?

A few more months and our Leni will turn one.

We'll go home then, okay?

Clayton, where are we?

We are in Shanghai now.

I come here today to discuss

if I should go tell grandpa first.

Don't tell him.

Don't tell him?

It'd confuse the old guy and cause a lot of trouble.

It's true.

But my grandpa is hipper than most.

I've been observing Grandpa.

He's all about fighting the Japanese and the Americans.

He's been totally brainwashed by the Communist Party.

Don't expect him to be able to change.

Just give him what he wants. Like he's pissed at Trump.

He wants to fight him. I said we couldn't win.

So he considered me a loser.

We've told him that you are bringing two kids home.

He didn't ask any questions.

He didn't?

Nope. How do you want to handle this?

I'd planned to think about this,

but I've been too exhausted by the kids and the jet lag.

Or we just tell him the truth?

This is Grandma. Let Grandma hold you.

Let me hold you, Grandma's precious.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

-Where's grandpa? -Grandpa?

Grandpa is here.

Say hi to your great grandpa.

The little one is on the floor.

This one is more outgoing.

Come sit down, Grandpa.

This one is outgoing, the other one clingy.

-This here. -Yeah?

Remember to pull it.

-Pull what? -The nose.

-Why the nose? -Do it often.

-Then he won't have a flat nose. -Okay, a flat nose.

Especially during...

the first few months after birth,

if you do it then, the result will be even better.

-His mother didn't come? -Huh?

No, she didn't.

-You brought back both by yourself. -Well...

Hey, Emma, be careful!

Where's his mother from?

Huh?

Where's she from?

-Where is her hometown? -America.

Hometown? Both kids are American.

American?

They are American because they were born there.

He's American,

but I was asking where your wife's hometown is.

America.

-She's American, too? -Yeah.

-She was born in America. -Born in America?

So, an American-born Chinese.

Let Mom tell him.

Let Mom explain.

-Let her do whatever... -It's exhausting?

-What? -Is it exhausting?

I don't know where to start. Raising kids is not as hard.

Wow, you can eat this by yourself!

Mom said to ask Eric to come over for lunch.

Wouldn't that be even more awkward?

Let's bring this out in the open so Hao doesn't have to struggle.

It's already a done deal. Why would it matter?

So, we'll go ahead and tell grandpa?

Mom.

How should we explain Eric to grandpa?

Just say he's a colleague.

But they look so intimate together.

Ugh, it's not a big deal. They are good friends.

A close colleague and a good friend.

It doesn't look right.

Your grandpa doesn't pay attention to details.

Let's talk later.

Grandpa has been asking both Big Aunt and me.

-He asked you, too? -Oh yeah.

The mother is busy with work in America.

Grandpa, this is Eric.

Happy New Year.

You sit. You sit. I'll sit on the floor. You sit.

Little Aunt is here.

Say hi to your Great Aunt.

-Is this for real? -Of course it is.

-Then where is her mother? - Huh?

Her mother. I've never met her. You have to introduce us.

You must be joking!

How on earth could it be possible?

Even a shotgun wedding wouldn't be this fast.

Sis, whose kid is this?

Both are my son's.

-Both? How many are there? -Two!

The other one is napping.

There are two!

I feel like I'm being struck by thunder!

I pulled her into the bathroom and told her.

It's time to tell her. It's already an irreversible fact.

I was shocked out of my mind.

That night I couldn't sleep all night.

Oh, dear...

It's irreversible, right?

You probably don't know this, so let me tell you,

our Zhang family has Hao as the only son.

My father is especially nice to him.

-Is that right? -Oh, yeah.

He heard Hao's coming to Shanghai, so he came all the way...

Okay, let's do another toast.

Great fortune, everyone!

-Sound check. -Hello, hello.

-Okay, good. -It sounds good?

Well, what's there to talk about?

I'm getting close to expiring already.

It's all pointless.

How long did it take you to get through that?

It took me two to three years.

At least.

The first six months were extremely painful.

I couldn't make any sense of it.

I couldn't get over it. That precious son of mine...

what happened to him?

When I had my son, I loved and treasured him.

Plus I had a son and a daughter. I was so happy.

On top of that, both were great kids. So, to tell you the truth...

I was happy and satisfied through and through.

But I never imagined that...

my son would change into that.

I couldn't accept it.

Very painful.

So, I never dared to tell your grandpa.

Your grandpa used to say that our family finally had a son, a descendant.

So, even now your grandpa doesn't know.

Everyone sit down. Grandpa wants to eat.

Enough! Enough!

Give them to me! I'll feed him.

You think you can make him eat!

Come, my precious.

Come, Grandma loves you.

Grandma welcomes you to stay.

Why don't you ditch your dad and live with Grandma?

I'll get a nanny.

He's like, "I don't understand your Sichuan dialect."

Everyone get on!

Hurry!

Mom still objects. She talked about it again last night.

-She did? -Yeah.

She still said not to tell Grandpa.

Then we don't tell Grandpa.

I argued with her for a long time.

It's okay. Everyone knows now, except Grandpa.

Grandpa is actually getting it, a little.

-You think so? -A little bit.

Notice he's stopped asking?

Indeed, he's stopped.

He stopped asking once he met Eric yesterday.

Grandpa, do you want to ride bicycles?

Grandpa, this makes you happy, right?

Being surrounded by family and kids. Right?

Sure, I'm happy.

Do you still object to my having kids?

I still feel uncomfortable inside.

What's uncomfortable? We have such a good life now.

-The four of us. -I still feel it's not normal.

But isn't my family happier than your family?

-What family? -Happier than your "normal" family.

Mine is not normal?

I mean your family is normal, but is it happy?

-Why not? -You and dad quarrel every day.

You sometimes quarrel with Eric, too.

It's natural. All families have conflicts. They are unavoidable.

-But you and Dad quarrel every single day. -That's not true.

With you two, I worry about the future.

-What do you mean? -Can you two stay together

and raise the kids well?

Why not?

The divorce rate is high

even for straight couples, not to mention your type of relationship.

Plus, when the kids grow older,

what if they ask about their mother?

No mother. They have two dads.

But where is my mother?

Other kids all have a mom and a dad.

Why do I only have dads? How will you explain it then?

I'll pity my grandkids whenever I see them

because they lack the love of a mother.

To be honest, you are my son,

so it pains me...

Her... Her way of thinking... I get it.

I get what she's thinking.

Mom...

It's funny how, when you were young...

Now as you get older, you feel that...

What's making you so happy, Clayton?

Okay, let's all get together for a photo.

All together, for a family portrait.