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1
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:20,109
Eroticism can also be
a splendid litmus paper
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00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,556
which reveals moods, thoughts,
emotions and feelings.
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00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,669
It is an expressive and ideological picklock,
4
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,470
a magnifier to discover the most
deeply hidden drives of the human soul.
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00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,278
Like in this short movie
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00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,909
where the asexual behaviour
of the characters
7
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,993
shows us some tasty truths
about the characters themselves.
8
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,153
For example, the narcissism
of how one wants to appear
9
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,438
often hides a person's true nature.
10
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,432
In this case, a chavinistic arsehole
11
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,477
becomes frustrated and impotent
and his wife cheats on him.
12
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,830
TINTO BRASS
presents
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00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,310
A MAGIC MIRROR
<>
14
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,798
STOP SLOWING DOWN
15
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,359
Back!
16
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,152
Is that OK?
17
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,193
Giulia!
18
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,033
Did you go to the locksmith
for the new lock?
19
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,475
I went but it was closed.
20
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,396
And the phone connection?
21
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,117
I talked to Telecom,
they're coming tomorrow.
22
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,239
Also, the guys for the washing machine.
I told them to come at 1 1am.
23
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,355
Shit! I told you to make it 12pm.
24
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,436
They couldn't do it at 12pm.
25
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,715
They can't come here
when you want them to.
26
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,191
- It was at 1 1am or in two days and I said...
- Yeah, yeah. It's all right.
27
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,794
And what did the carpenter say?
28
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,591
It was closed as well.
There was a mad traffic jam this evening.
29
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,672
I'd told you to stop by the shop.
30
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,797
You don't have to necessarily
go to the one downstairs.
31
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,591
- You could go yourself.
- Try to remember tomorrow.
32
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,560
Do I have to do everything?
33
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,313
Who went shopping and to buy the plants?
34
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,632
Fuck it!
35
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,238
What happened?
36
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,915
Nothing, nothing.
37
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,637
Be careful with those plates.
They're from my mother.
38
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,278
Yes!
39
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,477
Why don't you get out of that bath
and come and help me?
40
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,710
You've been in there for half an hour.
41
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,110
Since we've got this house
I've been doing everything.
42
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,878
Are you getting the door?
43
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,916
- Of course. Who else would get it?
- Of course!
44
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,676
- Hi, Walter.
- Hi.
45
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,597
- Do you want a hand?
- No worries. I'll do it.
46
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,111
- Who is it?
- It's Walter with the new mirror.
47
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,158
- I bet he's having a bath.
- Good guess!
48
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,437
- What does he need another mirror for?
- Oh, Walter!
49
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,712
Come here!
50
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,677
Sit down.
51
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,752
You're always bathing and making
yourself ''pretty''. It's an obsession.
52
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,638
I don't deny it. Everyone has an obsession.
53
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,116
I heard you lost yesterday as well.
54
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,756
- Who told you?
- I heard it.
55
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,638
People never mind their own business.
56
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,429
Anyway, you deserve it. What did I tell you?
Don't listen to that arsehole.
57
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,557
- Let's not talk about it.
- You're just a berk.
58
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,757
- I told you...
- Stop it. I don't want to talk about it.
59
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,155
Anyway, thank you for the mirror.
Giulia can't put it up, though.
60
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,232
What does it have to do with Giulia?
It's your job.
61
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,638
If you did it, it'd be as if
I was doing it myself anyway.
62
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,836
I don't understand.
63
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,275
You're doing me a favour.
64
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,750
- It's obvious!
- Don't talk bullshit or I'll break that mirror.
65
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,559
Where do you want me to put it?
66
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,517
Next to the door.
67
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,158
All right.
68
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,752
How do you manage to live with him?
69
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:13,674
I've only been here for five minutes
and he's made me mad already.
70
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,750
I know what you mean.
71
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:22,277
- Sometimes he seems a bit dumb.
- He's not at all. He's a son of a bitch.
72
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,636
- Don't offend your mother.
- Let's not even talk about it.
73
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,429
- Don't make jokes about things like that.
- Who's joking?
74
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,351
She's making me go mad.
75
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,232
''Sandro is so good!
Sandro said that. Sandro did that.''
76
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,519
What about me? Without me she'd be on
the streets. He'd never take her with him.
77
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,114
lt's just that you're too good.
78
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,753
You mean a berk.
79
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,955
You two are so different.
80
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,349
lt's hard to believe you're brothers.
81
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,112
You're telling me.
82
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,714
Close to the door, OK?
83
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,598
Close to the door.
84
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,240
Not too high!
85
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,117
Not too high.
86
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,351
- Not too low either.
- Not too low either.
87
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,359
I want to be able to see my whole body.
88
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,357
Remember you're at least four inches
shorter than me.
89
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,000
Arsehole. He's a total arsehole.
90
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,595
- He's like that.
- He always does what he likes.
91
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,989
My mother dotes on him
because he's an actor.
92
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,198
And what an actor he is. ln four years
he only did one photo soap opera.
93
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,989
- It's a hard profession.
- We all know what his profession is.
94
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,995
- He has an audition on Monday. If...
- Again.
95
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,389
Every week there's one.
96
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,398
Hello!
97
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,838
Yes, but I...
98
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,708
I don't give a toss. You should've
thought about that beforehand.
99
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,997
You didn't get it, then. You didn't get it.
You have to bring me the money.
100
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,595
There's fucking nothing to explain.
101
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:34,151
Listen to me. Either you bring
the money tomorrow or you're in trouble.
102
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,117
Hang up.
103
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,076
Bloody hell.
104
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,993
They all want to have a life of crime.
105
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,877
And then they shit themselves.
106
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:45,676
Excuse me.
107
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,198
Could you give me a hand?
108
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,872
Of course.
109
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,272
- Giulia, I'm sorry.
- Fuck off!
110
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,230
Bloody hell, such a slap!
111
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,635
Instead of staying here doing nothing,
go help my brother. Go.
112
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,995
I want to be with you.
113
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,029
Come on, fucking hell!
He's doing us a favour.
114
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,556
So? Are you deaf?
115
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,796
Move your arse!
116
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,350
As you like.
117
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,235
The sponge.
118
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,628
So, do you still want a hand?
119
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,956
Look at your face.
120
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,670
Are you insane?
121
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:48,117
I don't know if it's that stuff you snort
or going to the gym that makes you like this.
122
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,549
What are you doing?
123
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,756
I was joking.
124
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,671
- Come on.
- Leave me alone.
125
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,115
I was joking. Stop it.
126
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,156
Go and get me the hairdryer.
127
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,632
Where is it?
128
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,835
Where do you think it is? In the kitchen?
129
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:13,390
If it's not in the bathroom,
it must be in the gym bag.
130
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,236
These fucking Sicilians.
131
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,434
That girl doesn't understand that if
she wants to stay, she has to work.
132
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,273
She has to work.
133
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,477
It won't be long
before I send her back to her village.
134
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:30,788
One second.
135
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,279
Do you know
what she asked me the other day?
136
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,237
She comes to me and says,
137
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,073
''Can I go out with my friend?''
138
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,435
She said it was someone's birthday.
139
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,874
I slapped her hard.
140
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,119
All right. I'm going to dry my hair.
141
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,476
If I don't fix it straight away,
I will never manage.
142
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,517
The other day, I had like a horn.
143
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,750
I had to wash it again.
144
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:42,439
- Who have you had an affair with?
- Nobody.
145
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,397
- I never...
- Never?
146
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,152
Never.
147
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,550
Never say never.
148
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,596
Well. What is it?
149
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,558
I just wanted to check
if you needed anything.
150
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,876
That's a first.
151
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,356
Walter. Sandro is here.
152
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,276
- I can't, Walter.
- Why?
153
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,673
Wait for him to leave.
154
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,958
And then we can do everything you want.
155
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,312
- Everything?
- Everything, yes.
156
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,590
You picked the wrong brother.
157
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,278
Yes.
158
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,876
So, do you want me?
159
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,716
I've been wanting you for years.
160
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,633
You could have told me before.
161
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,316
You could have told me.
162
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,639
- I'll finish here then I'll give you a hand.
- Really?
163
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,029
I don't need it. I've nearly finished.
164
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,795
What's wrong? Are you all right?
165
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,438
What's that face for?
166
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,317
I feel a bit stressed. Maybe I'm a bit tired.
167
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:27,037
Well, go to bed early
and tomorrow you'll feel fine.
168
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,833
- You're so beautiful.
- Am I?
169
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,876
ls this how you wanted it?
170
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,634
Perfect. Thank you, little Walter!
171
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,870
lt's OK. It took me less than 20 minutes.
172
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:17,112
Bloody hell! You're ace. It'd take me
20 minutes to make that drill work.
173
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,872
You should learn.
174
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,476
You reckon? I want to leave
these little satisfactions to you.
175
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,916
Do what you like.
176
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,468
You look so pretty! Are you going out?
177
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,669
With friends?
178
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,832
- With a gorgeous chick!
- First time to shag her?
179
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,388
- Already shagged her.
- Same tactics.
180
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,755
Of course. ''Would you give me a hand?''
181
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,877
You'll stay overnight?
182
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,310
- But you will be late?
- I don't know. Are you a detective?
183
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,152
Don't get pissed off.
184
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,313
- I left a bit of mess. Will you clean it up?
- Giulia will do it.
185
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,950
Can you show Walter out?
186
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,999
Yes.
187
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,113
For you.
188
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,796
- You're giving me half a million lire?
- You've been doing a lot for me.
189
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,190
By the way, can you tell Mum
I'll come and see her on Sunday?
190
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,317
She'll be happy.
Can you stay with her on Tuesday?
191
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,551
Tuesday? No, I can't.
192
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,394
- Fuck it. For once l ask you a...
- I can't, I've got something to do.
193
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,313
Something important. I'll tell you later.
194
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:33,396
- Bye, Sandro.
- See you, Walter.
195
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,034
Are you coming back? I'll wait for you.
196
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,599
You bet!
197
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,150
- The green tie?
- With the others.
198
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,595
As soon as you see the car leaving.
199
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,273
While you're waiting.
200
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,396
You're mad.
15074
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