All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S02E12.Lawn.Signs.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.x264-QOQ

- John!
- Oh, I was starting to think...

- I've been hijacked.

- What?
- My campaign has been hijacked.

Oh, I need some tea.
Twyla?

- What's going on?

- Tea?
- No thank you.

Ugh! My campaign signs
have gone missing.

- What?
- You had election signs?

- Yes! All of them! Gone!
- Wow.

Maybe people were mowing
their lawns.

- Well, it's probably just kids.

What if there's a more
sinister explanation?

- Oh, like the wind.

I was wondering if there's
someone who's thinking,

"Oh, this woman may not
have many signs,

but she has myriad qualities
worth voting for.

I must stop her!"

So you think the signs
were stolen?

- Stolen? Ew!

Is that what you think happened?

Well, isn't that what
you were implying?

- Who would do that?
- Well, I don't know. It's dirty pool.

You can't sabotage
someone's campaign

and take their signs.

Please, please,
everyone calm down!

Well, I suppose if there's
a silver lining in all this,

it's that...

someone is imitated enough
into thinking

that I might be affecting
this town's

long-established
voting patterns.

*

Oh good. Good.

Now the playing field
is more fair.

Yeah, I was worried Jocelyn
didn't have enough signs up.

- Ah. You and me both, pal,

but, luckily,
I'm a step ahead of ya.

Okay, Enough with the signs,
Roland.

It was overkill a week ago.

Well, I don't know about you,
Johnny,

but I would like my little lady
to win this campaign.

Oh! Well, funny you should
mention,

because my little lady had all
of her lawn signs disappear.

- Oh. Moira had lawn signs?

- She had a few.

Now she has none.

Wait. Are you saying
that I had something...

- I'm not pointing any fingers,
- Uh-huh.

But if I find out you had
anything to do with this,

even though you're acting
like you don't...

Well, if I find out
that you're accusing me

of doing something I didn't do,

then I'm going to accuse you
of making false accusations.

Fine. But if you're denying
doing something

you might have done
and making me feel guilty...

for accusing you of something
you claim you didn't do...

- Ooh, is that a threat?

- I think so.
- Because I don't wanna tell you how I respond to threats.

And I don't wanna tell you
how I respond

to illegal political activity.

- Okay, fine, then don't.

- Fine, I won't.

Maybe.

- Oh dear God. Yes.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Well then, take it out of
my savings account.

Well, what about the air miles?

Can you put some of them
towards the electricity bill?

Okay, this signage,
is not really on brand.

- It's not ridiculous.

Well, I'm not having
this conversation either.

Is everything okay?

- David, to be honest,

I'm having a little trouble
financially

and I'm gonna have
to let you go.

- What?
- It seems I have overshot my budget

with the changes
you've been implementing.

Which is not your fault.

You were my mistake,
which I take full credit for.

Okay, I thought
you were liking

the changes I was making.

We just sold another poncho
yesterday.

I still can't believe
we even sold one.

But that's not gonna help me
when I am down to a Costco card

and a zoo membership.

Okay. Well, is there anything
I can do?

No, you've done enough
already.

Fortunately, I did gotten
some good news.

Apparently there is
a Blouse Barn in Australia

and they are gonna pay me
to use their name here.

Can you believe it?

- No, it's an entire chain.

They're expanding
into North America

and they are gonna pay me
$10,000

just to cover the costs
of renaming the store.

Okay, so they're buying
the name from you?

Well, it's more of a gesture
actually.

Apparently, I have been using the
name without their permission.

Okay, so this company is giving
you $10,000 as a gesture...

And to think I almost called
this place "Blouse House."

Something seems really
sketchy about this

and I'm not just saying that

because I have a hard time
with Australians.

Lotta drunks.
- Well, it's already happening.

They're coming in this week,

they're bringing
the paperwork...

- As your Brand Manager,

I feel like I need to be
at that meeting.

- I don't know...

At least let me talk to a
few people before you decide.

If there's one thing I've
learned from The Good Wife,

it's never accept a first offer.

I... I'm gonna just... do that.
- Oh.

- I have a question.
- Yes, your cologne is too strong.

- Okay, I just put it on

and it needs to breathe
a bit, so...

I... came in here to ask

whether you knew anything about
trademarking store names?

Yeah. We had to deal
with that

from time to time
at Rose Video.

Uh-huh. And did anyone ever
ask you to stop using the name?

No, but we went after
other people for using it.

I remember a, a "Rosie's Video"
in Sao Paolo.

That was a fun shakedown.

Mm-hmm. Okay, well,
say you owned Blouse Barn.

Well, first of all, I'd never
get into the clothing business

'cause the margins
are terrible...

- Okay, let's pretend for a sec.

And someone was offering you
$10,000 to stop using the name

because there's another
Blouse Barn in Australia

and they need the name.

$10,000 to stop using
the name "Blouse Barn?"

- That's correct.
- I would take that in a second.

It's a terrible name.

- Okay, but that's not...
- Now at least with "Rose Video,"

it said what it was,

and the logo looked great
on a golf shirt.

Yeah, I'm just thinking
if it's a big chain

and they want the name,

surely you should be able
to get more for it.

Yeah, but is worth
going to court to fight it?

Oh, I don't think Wendy
can afford that.

She can't even afford me
anymore, so...

Wait a minute.
You were fired?

- Technically, I would say

I'm in a transition phase
at the moment.

- This is terrible news.

I thought you were turning
that store around.

All those big purchases,
all that spending...

Okay, let's just focus on
the big picture,

which is helping the store.

Well, if you wanna help
the store,

I would tell your boss
to take the deal.

And then you
and I are gonna sit down,

update your resume

and get you back
into the workforce.

Okay. Well, thank you so much
for this.

Um, it was entirely unhelpful,
but thank you nevertheless.

- Well... anytime, son.

Oh, it's just
so violating.

How can one sleep knowing our
streets are laden with thieves?

Well, I don't know
about laden.

I had a newspaper stolen once.

Two days ago, we had someone
break our window.

They didn't take anything,

but they left a dead bird
inside.

- That's kind of like my aunt.

She has a ghost in her house that
keeps leaving dimes everywhere.

- Look what's happened to us.

These sign bandits have clearly
created a culture of fear.

If it helps at all,
I'd be happy

to put one of your signs
on my lawn.

Th-that is if Jocelyn
doesn't mind.

- Oh no, I'd put one on my lawn

if I wasn't worried
about winning.

I hope you know that I don't
stand for dirty politics, Moira.

Oh no, you mustn't beat
yourself up.

You have your own signs
to worry about.

All two hundred of them.

Well... we're here to sing,
aren't we? So... let's sing!

Well said! Let us focus
on tomorrow's show

and not fan the flames
of this provocative scandal

any more than is necessary.

Sing ladies... if you can.

Let's do this.

- Hey.

What're you shopping
for?

- I'm not shopping.

Okay, well, I'm seeing a lot
of women's tops,

so if there's a minimum amount
for free shipping

can let me know before
you order?

Okay, yeah, no, I'm...
I'm actually doing work, so.

Mm... Dad said that
you got fired.

- I wasn't fired.

I'm... actually working
so that I can stay employed.

I have a big meeting
with some lawyers

and I'm trying to make sure

they're not taking advantage
of Wendy.

Poor thing is a hot mess.

Okay, I just really think you
should stay out of it, David.

You're not good under pressure.

- And you are?
- Um, I'm sorry. Were you picked up

by the South Korean
Secret Police on New Year's?

I had to sweet talk
the consulate's lawyer

to get me a passport
before midnight.

Okay, well this is a very
different situation from that

and I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna be fine.

Did you or did you not have
a subscription to Cosmo Girl

when you were 16 years old,
David?

- No.

Okay, David, if you have
to lie about something

you should breathe out
while you answer

'cause it really just calms
you down.

Oh my God! I'm not being
interrogated.

This is a negotiation.

I'm just trying
to prepare you, okay?

'Cause they're gonna
eat you alive in there.

Okay. If you know
so much about this,

why don't you come with me then?

Okay, well, I guess
that just depends

on what's in Mom's closet.

- Why does that matter?

Well, I'm not gonna wear
my own clothes

into the room, David.

They're not scary enough.

I know we just met,

but if Prince Harry trusted me
with his life,

then I think you can too.

Well, I do feel better
having a lawyer in the room.

Oh my God,
you're so cute.

Um, I'm not a lawyer,

but I'm glad that
my fashion pony is working.

Oh, hi. I'm Wendy Kurtz.
Welcome to the Blouse Barn.

- Lisa Chung.

I didn't realize there were
gonna be more of us.

- We're her representation.

- David Rose.

Angelica Bloomfield of Rose,
Bloomfield and Glickman.

Well, let's go to my office
shall we?

Oh, Mr. Rose!
Oh, Hi Stevie.

I found these. I thought
Mrs. Rose might want 'em back.

- You found them?

Okay, look, I know we haven't
always been ideal motel guests,

but taking my wife's signs?

Ah, no, I took out
your garbage,

and these poked a hole
in the bottom and fell out.

So... they're still in
pretty good shape,

I thought she might
want them back.

- Oh...

Since she's been so worried
about her signs

having been mysteriously stolen.

- Right, right.

Well, I mean, I can see
what must have happened here.

She accidentally,
uh, threw them out.

- That's one theory.

Or... someone stole them
and hid them in our garbage

to try and sabotage Moira

to make it look like she's done
something... really crazy.

That is definitely
some food for thought.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

Well, Thank you, Stevie.
Have a nice day.

- Thanks. I will.

This shouldn't take long.
The cheque.

This should cover the cost
of the signs, business cards...

About the check.

We had some questions
about the amount.

- Well, you shouldn't.

$10,000 is the amount
we agreed upon.

- Well, that may be,

but some things have changed
on our side,

and we want to discuss the...

- I think it's fine, David.

- From a legal standpoint,

There are lots of costs
to consider.

- Mm-hmm.
- There are the signs and the business cards...

- I just mentioned those.

- Objection sustained.

There is the travel,
there are the meals,

There is the shipping
and the catering...

Which is very similar
to the meals

and not necessarily relevant,
so...

'Kay. Well, the $10,000 doesn't
even cover our legal fees, so...

- What?
- Don't worry about that.

And if we're gonna announce
a new name,

there has to be
a whole relaunch event,

and that involves...
event planners

and, um, florists.

Okay, I think what my
colleague is trying to say,

is that our brand is
very well established here,

um, so we're going to require
a higher compensation.

No, it's... Ooh-ooh-ooh,
Ooh-ooh-ooh. Ooh...

No! No, no, Gwen,
you took the lower third.

Well, could you please then?
I've already locked mine in.

Thanks, doll.

- Moira, do you have any idea

how Stevie found your campaign
signs in our garbage?

I don't think anyone
can hear us, John.

You don't have to keep up
the act.

- What act?
- That you didn't know I took the signs.

- You took your signs?

I didn't know you took
the signs.

Why would you take
your own signs?

Well, I couldn't very well
take Jocelyn's.

That would be stealing

and I'm running
a clean campaign.

You call this
a clean campaign?

- Politics 101, John.

When you have limited
resources,

your best course of action
is to create a stir.

It's exciting, it's fun.

It's like that episode
of Sunrise Bay

when I stole my own baby.

Moira, Sunrise Bay
was a soap opera.

- Yes, and this is reality.

Frankly, John,
I'm surprised at your naivety.

Moira, you're misleading
people!

- No, I'm building a mystery.

Voters will draw
their own conclusions.

- I basically accused Roland

of stealing your campaign signs.

Well, then hopefully
you've learned something -

you shouldn't make accusations
you can't substantiate.

- Moira...
- I'm not listening until you calm down.

Okay, well,
Blouse Barn Australia

is willing to offer you
an additional $5,000.

- Oh my God.
- Thank you.

So if you'll just sign here,
I think we're good.

- I don't think we are.

I have done some research
and I happen to know

that your company pulled in
$100 million last year.

- Point being?

Well, the point is, judging
by your bag and those shoes,

Blouse Barn Australia
is paying you

quite a bit of money
to come here

and help us "switch over our
signs."

Bottom line, we're standing
in your way

and I don't think your client
will be very happy

if you come home without
securing the rights to the name,

especially considering
you're expanding

into 78 stores across
North America.

And let's be honest,

"Blouse House" doesn't have
quite the same ring to it.

- Exactly!
- Angelica, please.

This is the number
that we are after.

Now, if you'll excuse us,

we have another meeting
to get to.

- We're in our store.

- We await your reply.

Moira, I felt bad about
what happened to your signs

and so I had some of my
students make these for you.

Jocelyn!

They're not as nice as the
black and white ones you had,

but I thought that
they might help.

- Very considerate.

Though there's something you
and I still need to discuss.

- The signs.

We both know that,
in a heated campaign,

one might use whatever
resources one has

to gain advantage.
- Yes.

Jocelyn, you have so many
signs!

I know. Roland got carried
away

and used his mayoral power

to get people to put more signs
on their lawns.

And I just... pretended
it wasn't happening.

- Roland forced constituents

to put up signs through
coercion?

That's what we're talking
about, right?

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.

I just was helping you explain,
so you...

because you seem so upset
by it all.

- I am upset.

I don't like what this campaign
is doing to me.

The other day, I called another
driver an effing moron.

I didn't say the 'f' word,
but I said, 'effing,'

and that is not me!

Jocelyn, I don't think
it's exactly unethical

to do questionable things
in the spirit of competition.

I'm dropping out
of the campaign.

- What?
- I'm barely sleeping,

I can't get through an episode

of MasterChef Junior
without crying.

We've both worked so hard
for this.

I know, and now I am giving
it to you.

Congratulations, Moira.

You are the new councilor
for the town of Schitt's Creek.

David, come on in!

Here, have a seat.

Lisa got back to me.
She dropped off a check.

It's a big check, David.

- Oh, thank God!

- It's a big f-ing check!

Oh...

Um, you don't mean one of those
big lottery check, right?

- Okay.
- No. - Okay.

- But you pulled it off!

- Um, thank you for trusting me.

- Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Okay. Um... I guess we should
get back to work.

- I love your enthusiasm,

but I think I'm going
to take some time

for my family, for me,

and close the store.

- Oh, okay.

But I appreciate
all you've done,

and I want you to have this,
you and Alexis.

Well, Alexis didn't do
that much.

- Oh, oh my God.

And I hope this helps
get you on your feet.

And do something interesting.
You always do.

- I... can't accept this.

- Moira!
- John.

I'm so excited
to see the show.

- I'm going to be on council.

We'll, that's the spirit.
Positive thinking.

I won! Jocelyn quit
the election.

- What?

- She couldn't take it anymore.

Well, think what you can do
in four years.

Four years? No, No one said
anything about four years.

And-and the thought of
working with Roland every day.

I mean, that's... I wouldn't
even think about that.

Oh, John.
What have I done?

* 'Cuz tonight
for the first time *

* Just about half past ten

* For the first time
in history *

* It's gonna be raining men

* Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da bop!

- So...

- $40,000?!

- Oh, that's a lot of money.

Wow! Even divided amongst
the four of us.

Divided? I'm the one
who negotiated all of this.

- Um, with my help, David.

- I believe I offered advice.

You said Wendy should cave
and take the first offer.

What you gave was
the opposite of advice.

- Okay, stop. This is good.

This is the first real money
we've seen in a year.

'Kay, I think we definitely
need to celebrate.

Nothing big, just a little
treat...

Like a trip.

Okay. I can't believe that
I'm the one to say this,

but um... shouldn't we be s...

Shouldn't we be s-s-s...

Should we be...
trying to sa...save this?

Isn't...Shouldn't we be saving-
putting this in a bank?

Isn't that what people do?

- Well, that's no fun.

- No... but probably best?

- Maybe we could do manicures.

I could a manicure.
The three of us should go.

- Yes!
- Long overdue.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- Yay!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just 'cause I do my own nails

doesn't mean, you know,
I wouldn't go...

- 'Kay, they're just expensive

and you wouldn't really
appreciate them.

- Oh yay, David! Yay!