All language subtitles for S2E17-Ed The Horse Doctor_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Um...

[grumbles]
A three-letter word meaning rodent.

That should be easy
for you, Ed.

That's a sneaky little animal
that's considered a pest.

Addison?

Oh, don't be funny.

It's a rat. R-A-T.

Okay, don't spell it.

I may be dumb,
but I'm not stupid.

What have you got against
Mr. Addison, Ed?

Mom taught us kids
never to trust a man with a mustache.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

That's-- That's like
not trusting a horse because he has a tail.

Please, let's not split hairs.

Ed, you've got to learn
to love your neighbor.

This would be
a much better world to live in

if people would love
one another.

- Now--
- Okay, finish the sermon and pass the plate.

Don't you act fresh with me.

When I'm talking to you,
I expect you to listen. Is that clear?

Please, holler, but don't hit.

I'm getting a little fed up
with your childish attitude toward Mr. Addison.

Ed, if there's one thing
I want to teach you,

it is to have respect
for age.

I respect older horses.

You will respect Mr. Addison.

Okay, but I wish he'd
stop calling me an old plug.

He doesn't mean that, Ed.

I mean, he's only teasing
when he calls you a plug.

And I'm only teasing
when I call him a rat.

[Carol]
Wilbur, come out here quick.

Coming, honey.
I'll be right back.

Oh, Roger,
she's just beautiful.

Thank you, Carol.

Every inch a champion
and worth her weight in gold.

Oh, Addison, I still can't
believe we own a race horse.

Roger, am I seeing things?
You bought a horse?

Please, this magnificent animal
is not just a horse.

Oh, I'm sorry.
With those four legs and that tail,

she sure had me fooled.

Well, Lady Linda happens to be
first class racing thoroughbred.

Roger says that she's worth
a small fortune,

and the best part of it--
she didn't cost him a cent.

Oh, did she follow you home
from the track?

I got her in a swap
for a piece of real estate

I've been trying to unload
for years.

What do you think of her,
Wilbur?

Oh, she's terrific,

but, Roger, I thought
you didn't like animals.

I don't, but I adore money,
and this little beauty

is my passport
to social security.

Addison says she's won
her first race already,

and there's just no telling
how far she'll go.

Rog, if you're stuck
for a place to keep Lady Linda,

she's welcome to stay
with Ed tonight.

You must be joking.

I wouldn't let
this pedigree thoroughbred

stay one minute
with that broken down old plug of yours.

[bells ring]

Now, wait a minute, Rog.

Ed is not an old plug.

His folks may have been poor,
but they were honest.

Well, thanks
for your kind offer,

but I don't think Lady Linda

cares to go slumming
with that fat saddle tramp.

As a matter of fact,

I'm entering her in a big race
at Santa Anita this Saturday,

and that is where she
will be courted.

This Saturday?

Oh, honey, we've got to go.

Roger,
you shouldn't call Ed names.

Why, he's every inch
as good as that horse.

Do you really believe that?

Yes, I really believe that.

After all, this is America,

where every horse
has the same opportunity to reach the top

regardless of race,
creed, or color.

Doesn't care
to go slumming, huh?

Calling me a plug.
[grunts]

I should have said
"You can use a plug

to stuff up that big mouth
of yours."

[groans]

- [saddle bumping]
- Ed, what's going on?

[Mister Ed grumbles]

Come on, Ed.

Addison didn't mean
what he said.

If my mother heard him
calling me those names,

she'd wash his mouth
with saddle soap.

I know how you feel, Ed.

I sure felt
like telling him off.

Then why didn't you?

Why, if you proved
you could talk,

he'd never call you a plug.

So what?

So he'd call me
a talking plug.

Calm down, Ed.

It's not good
for your blood pressure.

I hope that horse of his
loses every race.

Oh, now, let's not take it out
on Lady Linda.

She a-- Ed,
pretty nice looking filly, don't you think?

Eh, just another pretty face.

Oh, come on now, Ed.

I saw you giving her
the once over.

Oh, she's okay for a fling,

but not the kind
you want to settle down with.

- Honey, guess what.
- What?

Roger has invited us
to watch Lady Linda work out at the track tomorrow.

That's fine.
What time do we have to be there?

5:00.

- A.m.?
- Mm-hm.

I wouldn't get up at 5:00
to watch a horse run

if the jockey
was Lady Godiva.

[rooster clucks]

You know, Kay, I've never
been to the race track

at 5 in the morning before.

Neither have I.

I'm so excited, I didn't
sleep at all last night.

We didn't, either.
Did we, Wilbur--

Wilbur?

- Wilbur.
- Two eggs, fried.

- Whoo.
- Oh, honey.

Poor little thing.

Is it time to go home?

Lady Linda hasn't even come
out on the track yet.

Oh, I don't blame her.

Only people are stupid enough
to get up at this hour.

Here they come.

Come on, Lady Linda.

Well, here she is, Wilbur.

Look at her-- Lady Linda.
Isn't she magnificent?

Right now I'd give you $10
for that blanket.

Oh, Wilbur, I want you
to meet my trainer Whitey Morgan.

How do you do?
Ladies, how are you?

Jimmy, take her
up to the starting gate.

Let her come all out.
I want to see what she can do.

Okay, girl.

Yes, sir, if we get
a good workout today,

we'll know
whether she's ready.

She'll be ready,
and after she wins Saturday,

we can run her in Florida,
Pimlico, Saratoga.

And then on to the big win
in Indianapolis.

- No, Kay. No.
- But why not?

Well, for one thing,

I don't want my horse
running against automobiles.

I don't know why, Rog.

After she wins
at Indianapolis,

it's on to the Newport
Yacht Races.

Stop teasing her.

Here we go.
She's ready. Here we go.

Okay, Jimmy, let her go.

- ♪ ["William Tell Overture"]
- [bell rings]

[music slowing]

Oh, what happened?

Maybe she only runs when
people are betting on her.

Addison,
why isn't she running?

How do I know?

I expect to make a lot of money
with this horse, Whitey.

Now, I want you to find out
what's wrong with her.

Yes, sir.
I'll have the track vet check her over.

I can't understand this.

Why, she won
her last time out.

Wait, Wilbur knows
a lot about horses.

Honey, what do you thin--

Wilbur. Wilbur.

Make the bacon crisp.

- [Mister Ed laughs]
- What's so funny?

So Lady Linda turned out
to be a party pooper, huh?

She just didn't feel
like running.

Thoroughbred.
[chuckles]

Maybe her pedigree
was too heavy.

Stop gloating, Ed.

It's not nice to laugh
at Roger's troubles.

It must be nice, Wilbur,
because I feel so good.

Here he comes.

[Mister Ed groans]

Any news, Rog?

The track vet can't find
anything wrong with him.

- That's great.
- No, it isn't.

For some reason
the doctor can't understand,

Lady Linda
just refuses to run.

I'll have to take her
out of the race this Saturday.

Well, before you do that, Rog,

why don't you let Ed's vet
take a look at Lady Linda?

- Your horse's doctor?
- Oh, sure.

Doc Evans, he's one of those
old-fashioned vets--

you know,
a real lover of horses.

Why, you can call Doc Evans
at 3 in the morning. He doesn't get mad.

Comes right away, huh?

No, but he doesn't get mad.

Wilbur, this Dr. Evans,
does he know anything about race horses?

Only how to treat them.

He loses every time
he goes to the track.

I'll give him a call
right now.

[horse whinnies]

That's a good girl.

Now, open up wide.

Open up wide.
That's it.

You know, Doctor,
it could be her tonsils.

How about a wisdom tooth, huh?

Have you checked her sinuses?

Mr. Addison, please.

You'll have to excuse him, Doc.
This is his first.

Isn't there something
I can do?

Hey, come on.
We'll boil xosome water.

Yeah, we-- boil water?

I think a cup of tea
might calm you down.

Well, tonsils fine.

Teeth are sound.

Now we'll check her pulse.

Well, how about her feet,
Doctor?

Her arches might be bad.

Her horseshoes
might be too tight.

Rog, I never knew you could
be so worried about a horse.

I'd be worried about a gopher

if I had this much money
invested.

Well, what do you say, Doc?

Seems to be in good shape.
Pulse is not racing.

Neither is the horse.

There must be something
wrong with her.

Why won'@'t she run,

and how do you explain the fact
that she's not eating?

Mr. Addison,

medical science
can only tell us so much.

Now, physically,

this animal
is in excellent condition.

From all appearances,

Lady Linda's trouble
is mental.

Oh, fine.
Now I've got to put her through analysis.

It's not as strange
as you'd think.

Many animals suffer illnesses
that are purely psychosomatic.

That's right.
You take my horse.

There's a real hypochondriac.

One sneeze and he's ready
to make out his will.

You know something?
It's my feeling

that that animal
is brooding about something.

About what?

I don't know.

You're an animal doctor.
You ought to know.

Well, if I knew
what was on her mind,

I could help her,

but unfortunately
animals can't talk.

Good day.

Animals can't talk, huh?

What?

What did you say, Wilbur?

Don't give up yet, Rog.

We may find out before Saturday
what's bothering Linda.

But, Ed, Roger's in trouble.

Why don't you talk
to Linda and find out what's bothering her?

Nope. I wouldn't raise one
little hoof to help that man.

Don't be like that, Ed.

You should let
bygones be bygones.

Try to love thy neighbor.

Not when thy neighbor's
a creep.

Oh, Ed.

Old plug. [grunts]

He hates me.

He does not hate you.

It's just that Roger
doesn't understand animals.

- And I don't understand creeps.
- Please, Ed.

Wilbur, let's knock it off.

Ed, Roger has
a big investment in Linda.

Now, you don't want to see him
lose it all, do you?

Yep.

Let me rephrase that.

It's true that he said
a lot of mean things about you,

but, Ed,
you should forgive him.

After all,
you're bigger than he is.

Mentally, of course.

Let's forget about Addison.

Now we're getting some place.

Let's think about Linda.

Linda-- something on her mind
that is really bothering her.

You want to help her,
don't you?

I wish you could see
that poor horse.

I mean, she's just dragging
her feet around

and moaning and sighing
and oh, sigh-- not eating.

Not eating. She's all upset.

All right. I've always been
a sucker for a sob story.

You won't regret it, Ed.

Well, that remains to be seen.

Ed, what did you find out?

Did Lady Linda say anything?

I've got a crying horse
in here, Wilbur. Now, please.

- Morning.
- [horse snorts]

Ed, I can't stand the suspense.
What's wrong with her?

Same old story.
She's carrying a torch.

Oh, love affair, huh?

She's got it bad,
and that ain't good.

What happened?

She said she was in love
with a horse at Pimlico,

but her stable shipped her
out here.

Well, that's race biz.

Yep, same old story.

Boy meets girl.
Boy loses girl.

Girl loses weight
and all that jazz.

Yeah. Well, listen, Ed.

Tell her-- Tell her
the only way to get over a broken heart

is to lose herself
in her work.

Tell her to think
about nothing else but racing,

morning, noon, and night.

Check.

[horse grunting]

[whinnying]

[snorts]

Ed, how you doing?

Worst advice
you could've given her.

She didn't like it, huh?

Hated it.

She's blubbering
all over the place.

Better try another angle.

Uh, tell her the quickest way
to get over a broken heart

is to find
another love interest.

Another love interest, huh?

Yeah, tell her,
"Honey, you're lovely. You're young.

"Why, there isn't
a horse in the world

that wouldn't flip over
anything as gorgeous as you."

Aw, kiss me, Wilbur.

Oh, come on, Ed.
You get in there and tell her.

[horse snorts]

[grunting]

Wilbur.

Well?

She's stopped bawling.

That's great, Ed.

And she forgot all
about that horse at Pimlico.

Wonderful.

What's wonderful?

Now she's in love with me.

I've got this poor dame
on the rebound.

Well, they say, Ed, the patient
always falls for the doctor.

[horse grunting]

Give her a good ride, Jimmy.

[bell rings]

Boy, look at her fly.

I never saw
such a change in a horse.

I wonder what happened.

Love
is a many-splendored thing.

[Wilbur]
Atta girl.

You eat, Lady Linda,
so you'll be good and strong

for the race this Saturday.

[Addison] Wilbur.

Hey, Wilbur,
I had a call from Whitey.

He said she had
a sensational workout. Is it true?

Rog, she ran around
that track so fast,

she nearly caught
her own tail.

Oh, boy, is that
a load off my mind.

- Look at the way she's eating.
- Yeah.

What's that plug of yours
doing in there?

Ed is keeping her company.

Well, I think you've got
a lot of nerve

bringing that saddle tramp
here to mooch hey.

Now, wait a minute, Rog.

Wilbur, I told you before

I don't want that fat clown
around my horsó@e.

The reason
Linda is feeling so well

is because she happens
to be very fond of Ed.

What?

And if you want to win
on Saturday,

you'll let Ed stay here
until after the race.

Will you please get
that oversized fleabag out of there

before my horse
catches something?

All right, Rog,
we're going,

but don't you charge me
for that hay.

kt
Your horse invited my horse to lunch.

Excuse me.

Now, Wilbur,
I think you're being foolish

not going to the race Saturday
over a silly little quarrel.

I wouldn't like it
if they called you names.

That's different.
I'm your wife.

And he's my horse.

Don't hold it against him

just because he has
no marriage license.

Addison, Wilbur's very angry.

I think it was childish of you

to call his horse
all those names.

I did not call
that broken-down plug any names.

Kay, will you
please excuse me?

I'm trying to concentrate
on this racing form.

Oh, doll, I'll feel just awful

if Wilbur doesn't come
with us this Saturday.

Now, please, lamby,

please go over
and apologize next door.

I will not.

Number 1, I have nothing
to apologize for.

Number 2, he insulted
my intelligence

when he told me
his horse is responsible

for Lady Linda
regaining her form.

Number 3--
Will you get off my lap?

You're cutting off
my circulation.

Believe me.
He's going to be sorry

if he doesn't get
out there Saturday

and place a sizable wager
on Lady Linda.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it, lover boy.

According to the chart,
Lady Linda should win in a breeze.

[Man] Hello, Mrs. Addison.
Is your husband home?

- Yes. Come in.
- Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Addison, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.

Bad news?

I just gave Lady Linda
her workout.

Did a mile in 1:38.

Well, that's pretty good,
isn't it?

A minute and 38 seconds?

This was one hour
and 38 minutes.

And hour and 38--

Well, what happened?

Just went into the middle
of the track,

lay down, and wouldn't move.

We had to get a horse van
to get her back to the barn.

- What's wrong with her?
- I don't understand it, Mrs. Addison.

She was doing fine
till Mr. Post took his horse away.

Hm.

Now, just a minute.

Don't try to tell me

that Mr. Ed was responsible

for Linda's sudden change
this morning.

It could be.

You know, a lot of race horses
have stable pets

and barn mascots.

They just won't run
when they're separated.

Oh, I can see it all now.

What a picture.

Lady Linda and Mister Ed
trotting down the bridal path,

and you can give
the bride away, Doll.

Do you seriously believe that
Lady Linda won't run

unless that horse
is with her?

I think you better get him
back in with her

as soon as possible.

Excuse me.

Hello, Wilbur, my boy.

Hello.

Wilbur, you know
when people are friends, neighbors--

Well, what I mean
is when people have a little argument

and one of them realizes
he's been a fool,

well, it takes a big man
to apologize.

Well, I'm not going to.

I didn't mean you.
I said a big man.

Not that you aren't, Wilbur,

oh, no, no,
not that you aren't.

What I'm trying to say,
Wilbur,

is that I'm sorry
for the unkind things I said this morning.

You don't owe me
any apology, Rog.

Oh, thank you, Wilbur.
Thank you.

You owe it to Ed.

You expect me to apologize
to a horse?

Why not?

You made a fool out of him
in front of Lady Linda.

But he didn't understand
what I was saying.

That is where you are wrong.

Animals can tell
by the tone of your voice how you feel about them.

Ask anybody who owns
a cat or a dog or any pet.

Wilbur,
I'll be frank with you.

Since Mister Ed left,
Lady Linda has had a relapse.

- She has?
- Mm.

And I'd like Mister Ed
to go back to her.

I'm sorry, Rog.
Ed isn't a horse doctor.

Besides, I wouldn't want
Lady Linda to catch anything.

Oh, please, Wilbur.

Please, I've got
a lot of money invested in that animal.

Let me have your horse
until this Saturday.

All right, go take him.

Oh, thank you, Wilbur.
Thank you.

Come on, Ed.
Come on, Ed.

Let's go, boy. Come on--

Come on, Ed. Let's go.

Ed, let's go. He won't go.

Of course not.

He thinks you don't like him.

Well, how can I let him
know that I do?

By showing him a little love,
a little affection.

Talk to him, Rog,
in a low voice

and tell him how
much you like him.

Hello, Mister Ed.

I'm your friend.

I don't think
you're an old plug. I think--

What am I doing
talking to a horse?

People will throw
a net over me.

Rog, keep it up.
You were just beginning to get to him.

I am?

Yeah. Keep pitching.

Keep pitching.

And Rog...
straight from the heart.

Hello, Ed.

We're friends now,
aren't we, Mister Ed?

Atta boy.

Now, you come along, Ed.
Come along with old Rog.

Come on, Ed.
Come on, Ed.

Ed.

Why won't he go?

- You didn't kiss him.
- Kiss him?

I always kiss him.

I absolutely refuse
to kiss him.

Rog, how much money
do you stand to lose

if Lady Linda
never runs again?

Turn around.

Turn round.

Now, ask him to go with you.

Come on, Mister Ed.
Come on with Rog.

Hey, it worked. he's moving.

Come on, Ed. Thank you.

Come on, Ed.
Hey, it worked.

Come on, Ed.

♪ ["First Call" on bugle]

[crowd chattering]

[crowd yelling, rooting]

Boy, that was some race.

You should be proud
of Lady Linda.

Oh, I am.
We're going to make a fortune with her.

Aren't we, doll?

She has just won her first
and last race for me.

- [Carol] Roger.
- Roger, what are you talking about?

Before the race, I sold her
to the Newport Stables.

What for?

If you think
I'm going to spend

the rest of my life
kissing that old plug, you're crazy.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.