All language subtitles for S2E10-Ed The Salesman_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

How time flies.
A year ago today,

I became Wilbur's horse.

Hope he hasn't forgotten
our anniversary.

So far, not even a card.

Good morning, Ed.

[humming]

Beautiful morning, isn't it?

The 12th of this month will
always be beautiful to me.

You know, I think
I'd better call Mr. Winslow

and ask for some more time
on these plans for his house.

Why will the 12th of this month
always be beautiful, Ed?

Because, Wilbur,
it's our anniversary.

By golly, that's right.

It was a year ago today
that we became man and horse.

Happy Anniversary, buddy boy.

Happy Anniversary, Ed.

And now let's dry our tears

and start handing out
the gifts.

I forgot.

The stores are
open late tonight.

Okay. Anything special
you'd like?

Just a token.

Say, a color television set.

All right. Excuse me now.

I gotta call Mr. Winslow.

[Carol] I found
the best new beauty parlor in the whole neighborhood.

And there's
a new operator there. His name is Pierre.

And if you can get him
to do your hair, oh, you'll just be so happy.

She's been on that phone
for 20 minutes.

I gotta catch my client
before he leaves his house.

You could call him
from the television store

while you're getting my gift.

Ed, do you know how much
a color TV set costs?

Money's never any object
when you buy Carol a present.

She is my wife.

So? I'm your horse.

All right. All right.

I'll treat you the same way
I would treat Carol.

Tonight we'll have dinner
at the Grove, and at midnight,

we'll dance
the Anniversary Waltz.

And there's a new operator
there. His name is--

I've got to get her off
that phone.

Oh, your gelatin salad
will look so lovely.

That new operator
I was telling you about-- Pierre--

well, he gave me the recipe.
Now, don't forget.

Don't let them
talk you into Andre

because he's much too slow.

Of course, they do have
two other operators,

a manicurist--

- One telephone.
- One tele--

I'll call you back later,
Marge.

Someone just came in.

Hi, honey. I guess you want
your lunch now, huh?

When you started
that conversation, I wanted my breakfast.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling,
but you know how Marge loves to gab.

Honey, when she calls up,
why don't you tell her you're busy?

Because I called her.

Look, from now on, these
phone conversations are gonna be short and to the point.

Hello. Nice talking to you.
Goodbye. This phone is also my office phone.

- But, Wilbur--
- No more hour-long conversations.

Short. Hello.
Nice talking to you. Goodbye.

- [Roger] Wilbur, are you home?
- Be right with you, Rog.

I'd like my lunch now,
dear, please.

Yes, Your Highness.

Wilbur?

Hey, I've been calling you
all morning.

Your phone's been tied up.

Tied up?
It's been strangled.

Carol's been gabbing away
on the phone.

But I really laid
the law down.

I said, from now on,
those calls are gonna be short and to the point.

You really told your wife

to cut down on
the telephone calls?

That's right.

An act of raw courage.

In England,
you'd be knighted for that.

Oh, it was nothing, Roger.

I happen to have
a very understanding wife.

That's one thing about Carol--

when she's wrong, she's
the first one to admit it.

Wilbur, you can sit down.
Your lunch is ready.

Thanks, hon. See, Rog?

No hard feelings.
She's a great little sport.

- Sit down, Rog.
- Oh, thanks.

My, that looks yummy.

Oh, she's just kidding, Rog.

I mean, we're always making
little jokes like that.

You know? I mean,
a sense of humor--

it's the oil
in the troubled waters of matrimony.

- Then why aren't you laughing?
- Because it's not funny.

Excuse me, Rog.

Honey, I think it's time
we had a little chat.

Hello. Nice talking to you.
Goodbye.

That's all I'm allowed to say.

Carol, I don't think
I'm being unreasonable about this telephone.

Hmph!

Honey, I think I know
what your problem is.

You see, you don't realize
fully the value of a dollar.

If you had to work
and earn money to pay these bills,

you might show
a little more consideration.

Oh, you want me
to go to work, is that it?

- I didn't say that.
- Very well. I'll pay my way.

I don't want
to be a burden here.

I'll earn my keep.

Carol, nobody is asking you
to go to work.

I mean, even if you wanted
to go to work,

there's nothing you could do.

Oh, you think not?

Why, there are a dozen jobs
I could handle.

Maybe it would be a good idea
if I got a job.

Then we wouldn't have
these money arguments.

I think I'll start
job hunting today.

Okay, honey.

What?

I'm very proud of you, dear.

Good luck.

Oh, sorry, Rog. I didn't know
you were listening.

My boy, I'm proud of you.

- You handled her beautifully.
- You gotta call their bluff.

I mean, can you imagine Carol,

the darling of the beauty shops,
going to work?

She wouldn't make it
to the first coffee break. [laughs]

- Shh!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- [whispers] Outside.
- Huh? Huh.

- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, Kay.

What are you doing?
Looking for a sale?

- No, for a job.
- A job?

Doesn't Wilbur like
what he's doing?

It's a job for me, Kay.
I've decided to go to work.

For you?
Bite your tongue, sweetie.

Marriage is a partnership
composed of a team--

the worker and the shirker.

And you know what team
we're on.

rxA
No, Kay. Wilbur made an issue of the telephone bill,

so I've decided
to pay my own way.

Carol, a husband wants
to support his darling little wife,

because, well, if he doesn't,
we throw him in jail.

Now, throw away
those want ads.

They're making me nervous.

No, Kay.

If I give up now,
I'll never hear the end of it.

There must be some job
I can handle.

Well, if you made up your mind,
let's be logical.

Now, what are the things
you do well?

Well, I'm a good cook.

A fair cook?

- Good enough.
- Good enough to eat out.

- Next.
- Well, I'm a real good dancer.

Why, that's right. You are.

Why, I bet a dance studio
would hire you in a minute.

Yes, I could teach dancing,
couldn't I?

Well, you taught Addison
how to cha-cha,

and the only step he knew
before that was the minuet.

I wonder what Wilbur will say
if I do get a job.

Oh, well, I don't think
he really wants you to work.

He'll make you quit
after the first day.

That's what I'm counting on.

Come on. D for dancer.

All right.

So long, lucky.

Lucky? I beat you fair.

That's three more golf balls
you owe me.

How could I concentrate
on my game

with you
in that rainbow outfit?

Green sweater, maroon shirt,
blue pants.

Instead of a golf ball,
I could see was spots in front of my eyes.

Why do you think I wore it?
See you, boy.

Hi, Ed.

Get my TV set?

A color TV set
would be wasted on you.

Everybody knows
that all animals are color blind.

A rumor spread by the makers
of black and white sets.

No, it is an established fact.

We learned in zoology

that all animals
are color blind, unable to--

You shouldn't wear
that green sweater with those blue slacks.

Don't interrupt.

Animals can only distinguish
shades of gray.

Now, when you think you see
a color, act--

That was just a wild guess.

You get a load of
that maroon shirt.

You look like
the Scarlet Pimpernel.

According to everything
I've read,

horses aren't supposed
to see color.

A horse isn't supposed
to talk, either.

Anyway, you can't have
a color TV set.

It's too expensive.

Honey, I'm off to work now.

Oh, I left some cold cuts
and the potato salad

in the refrigerator for you.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

What's this about work?

Well, dear, I told you
I was getting a job.

I've got to run now.

I'll tell you all about it
when I get home tonight.

- If you're still awake.
- Now, hold it.

What kind of a job
do you have?

- Guess.
- A welder?

I'm a dance instructor
at Miss Irene's in Hollywood.

- A dance instructor?
- That's right, honey.

Every evening from 5 to 10,
Monday through Friday.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.
1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

I'll make more than enough
to pay for the phone bills.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

Hasta la vista.

Cha-cha-cha.
1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha. 1, 2...

My wife got a job
at a dance studio.

Yeah? Well, let's go
down there tonight

and buy a dollar's worth
of tickets.

I don't like this, Rog.

I'm not gonna have my wife
dancing around

with a bunch of strange men.

Don't be foolish.

Why, you're playing
right into her hand.

- That's what she
expects you to do. - She does?

Why, of course.
But you must fool her.

Let her work.
Let her find out for herself

how hard it is
to earn a dollar.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mark my words, she'll come
crawling back to you

by the end of the week.

Yeah.

No chance she could crawl
back by tomorrow, is there?

Just give her enough rope,
my boy.

Let her realize how hard
you have to work

to pay for those phone bills.

That's right.
I mean, she thinks

being a dance instructress
is an easy job,

but she'll find out.

I remember when I was single,
I went to a dancing school

to take some lessons
on how to rumba, you know?

There was this cute redheaded
teacher,

and I drove her home
after the third lesson--

And I'm gonna bring
Carol back right now.

No, you're not.

You're gonna
stick to your guns.

Now, we'll have dinner tonight,
then we'll go bowling.

You're going to show her

you are not in
the least bit concerned.

Cha-cha-cha.

Maybe I can get a job, too.

Buy my own color set.

Now, let's see.

"Help Wanted: Women."

"Help Wanted: Men."

No "Help Wanted: Horses."

Discrimination.

Hey, here's one.

"Sell real estate by phone."

[laughs]
That's me,

the untraveling salesman.

Ohhh.

Was it really that tough,
Carol?

It was awful.
Six beginners.

I was pushed, stepped on,
bumped and dragged around.

I feel like I've just survived
a buffalo stampede.

Well, remember, sweetie,

Wilbur is suffering
much more than you are.

Oh, sure. Mm-hmm.

Right now, he's bowling
his little heart out.

When I got home
a few minutes ago,

all I found was a note
and some corn plasters.

Oh, Kay,
I think I'll quit my job.

You can't quit.

I was against this, honey,
but, well, if you give up now,

Wilbur will never let you
hear the end of it.

- I know, but I...
- [car doors closing]

Here they come.

Remember what a nasty laugh
Wilbur has.

- Put these on. Quick.
- Oh.

Hey, Wilbur, you know,
Carol is gonna be exhausted.

I wouldn't rub it in too much.

Oh, why not?
When you got them down,

make them crawl.
[laughs]

Gee, you've got
a nasty laugh.

- Rog.
- Huh?

Come on in.
Help me carry my exhausted little breadwinner up to bed.

All right.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.
1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

Oh, Kay, I wish
you'd been there.

It would've been
so much fun with you. You would've loved it.

Oh, Addison hasn't taken me
dancing in a thousand years.

- I'll have to teach him.
- She doesn't look like

she's ready to be carried
to bed, does she?

- 1, 2, cha-cha-cha.
- No. But you do.

- Don't look so worried.
Smile. - 1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.
1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

Honey, we're home.

Oh, hi, boys.
Oh, what a night.

- You're worn out, huh?
- Oh, no, Wilbur.

Oh, I never knew work
could be so much fun.

Imagine being paid
for doing something you just-- you just love.

- Isn't that swell?
- 1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

1, 2, cha-cha-cha.
1, 2, cha-cha-cha.

Uh, Carol tells me
she's been booked

for the next five weeks.

Five weeks?

[Carol]
That's right, honey.

You won't have to worry about
that telephone bill anymore.

Honey, about the phone
and this job--

A great little wife
you've got there, Wilbur.

Not many women would be willing
to share the expenses.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, this kid is all heart.
Come on, doll.

Let's fix some coffee
for the boys. They look tired.

Come on, Kay.
1, 2, 3, la conga.

[together]
1, 2, 3, la conga.

1, 2, 3, la conga.

1, 2, 3, la conga.

1, 2, 3, la conga.

1, 2, 3, la conga.

1, 2, 3, la-- Whoop!

[groans]

Rog, a $40 phone bill
isn't too bad.

If you give in now, she'll
never let you forget it.

She'll laugh at you
for the rest of your life.

And her laugh's nearly
as nasty as mine is.

You mark my words.
In two weeks, she'll come begging.

Two weeks?
Before, you said two days.

Ah, but remember, my boy,

the longer the fight,
the sweeter the victory.

Oh, fine.

I'm fighting,
and she's dancing.

Good afternoon, sir.

I represent the Golden Acres
Real Estate Company.

The breathtaking beauty
of Death Valley

can now be yours.

Get in on the newest

and most exciting
land offering in the West.

[door closes]

I'll have to
call you back, sir.

Hello, blue eyes.

Say, I like that yellow sweater
with a turquoise shirt.

Okay, so you're not
color blind.

You're still not gonna
get that TV set.

And this is not turquoise.
It happens to be baby blue.

Well, snap my rompers.

You're right.

Look, I've been having trouble
with Carol the last few days.

One nag in the family
is enough.

What if I paid for the set
with my own money?

Oh, you want to go to work,
too, like Carol?

- I might.
- Hmm.

Maybe I should call
Miss Irene's

and see if they need
another dance instructor.

No. I've got four left feet.

Maybe you'd like to be
a waiter at the Turf Club.

Just, uh, don't be surprised
if I earn that money.

I wouldn't be surprised
at anything anymore.

I gotta get some of
my own work done.

Where are those
Winslow sketches?

Oh, Wilbur, I just saw Carol.

She told me to tell you
that she was going to the dance studio

in just a few minutes,
and she left a turkey in the icebox.

Oh, fine. While she's dancing
with some hot Latin,

I'll be snuggling up
with a cold turkey.

I'm gonna make her quit.

Don't weaken, my boy.
Don't weaken. As I told you,

it's just a matter of two
or three months--

- Months?
- Wilbur, when have I ever advised you wrong?

Whe-- Well, let's see.

We moved next door to you
on the 12th of April.

I'd say
since the 12th of April.

All right. Fine. Fine.
Don't listen to me.

Go in there
on you hands and knees. Beg her to quit.

Give her free rein on the phone.
Humble yourself.

Wave the white flag.

Good thinking, General.

That is the worst thing
he could possibly do.

Now he's got me talking
to this dumb animal.

[laughs]
Someday I'm gonna answer him,

and he'll drop dead.

Carol, you still here?

Just leaving, honey.

How do you like my new outfit?

I picked it up at Mayfair's
this morning.

Well, at least that dress
has a nice high neckline.

What do you think?

You could rent out
some of this space in back for advertising.

Oh, honey, don't be
so old-fashioned.

This is the latest style.

But shouldn't you wear
something over it, like a dress?

Now, Wilbur, in my work,

it's important
that I look attractive.

Honey, I feel that one worker
in the family is enough.

Oh, well, darling, if you
want to quit your job, go ahead.

- [phone ringing]
- Excuse me, honey.

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Post.

Oh, how much is our
telephone bill up to yesterday?

What? $148?

- Oh, but there must be
some mistake. - [mouths words]

Hello. This is Mr. Post.

What was that amount again?

$148.

Oh, the telephone's been
in constant use, huh?

Thank you very much.

But, Wilbur, I did cut down
on my phone calls.

Of course. And that big bill--

that was me making
phone calls in my sleep.

No, you never take my word
for anything.

[cries]

- [doorbell rings]
- [door slams]

Well, Mr. Reeves, come on in.

Thank you.

My goodness,
we haven't seen you

since you sold us the house.

Yes, it's been almost a year.

You know, since then,
I've been made vice president

of the Golden Acres
Real Estate Corporation.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

Say, is Mister Ed Post
your father?

Is-- Um--
My father? Yeah.

Yes, yes.
He gave me this address.

Well, he does live here. Yes.

Oh, wonderful.

Well, I came over personally

to give him
this commission check,

and to thank him
for the bang-up job he's done for us.

He's been selling real estate?

By telephone.

Oh, he's got
such a smooth line.

He even talked three
long-distance operators

into buying our property.

So he's been selling
on the telephone, huh?

Oh, your father's
the greatest.

Why, we've got customers
coming from San Diego,

Oakland, Phoenix, Tucson.

There's no telling
how many people he's called.

$148 worth.

Well, he's not here right now,

but if you want,
I'll give him this commission check.

Oh, fine, fine.

Ooh, would you have your father
give me a ring when he comes in?

I'd like to offer him a job
training our sales personnel.

You know, put him
behind the desk?

You're gonna have a little
trouble with his chair.

I mean, he's the outdoor type.

I'll tell him.

Well, fine.
Thank you, thank you.

And goodbye, Mr. Post.

Mice to have seen you again.

Hope it isn't another year.

Well, thank you.
I hope not.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Is this the Tijuana operator?

Buenos días, chiquita.

I'm calling Pablo Chaves.

His number is...

dos, quatro, cinco, seis--

¿Cómo está, amigo?

Ed, do you know
that my phone bill

up to today is $148?

Well, this is
my business phone.

It's deductible.

Do you know you caused a fight
between me and my wife?

I've been blaming her
for your phone calls.

[laughs]
Imagine that.

She'll forgive you
once she sees

we've got a color TV set
in here.

Oh, so that's it, huh?

Well, a Mr. Reeves from
the Golden Acres Real Estate

left this commission
check for you.

Oh, swell.

Well, how much is it?

$3.00 less
than our phone bill.

Now, Wilbur, I didn't go
to work to pay your debts.

Listen, you touch
that telephone once more,

and you'll be playing the lead
in Death of A Salesman.

Just a second, honey.

What do you want?

Honey, I'm sure you didn't
make those phone calls.

I mean,
if you say you didn't,

I believe you.

You didn't believe me
a few minutes ago.

You yelled at me.

Honey, I didn't mean anything.

I haven't been myself
ever since you started to work.

Well, if you told me to quit,
I'd have to.

Afterall, a wife should
do what a husband wants.

I want you to quit.

A woman's place
is on the phone.

I mean in the home.

Why don't you call
the dance studio

and tell them you retired?

I already have.

Well, then where are you going
in that bikini evening dress?

[chuckles]

You knew I'd make you quit.

Well, I had the feeling
you would.

Buit just to make sure,
I resigned.

Well, how about
the last dance, teacher?

Ooh, excuse me, honey.

I've got to call Marge before
she gets to the hairdresser.

I want to make sure that she
gets Andre instead of Pierre.

Last week she got Pierre.
He did terrible job.

Oh, just terrible.

Hello. Marge?

Listen, the reason you got
Andre instead of Pierre

is because Tuesday
is Pierre's day off...

Ed, I got you a little
anniversary gift.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

But better late than never.

I'll give you three
guesses what it is.

Does it have to be hooked up?

Yeah.

Is it color?

Yeah.

A TV set?

No.

A green muzzle.

Ohh.

That ought to cut down
your sales pitch a little.

[muffled]
Very funny.

Very funny.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.