Original subtitles

Fancy meeting you here, Kyran.

Hello, Durkon. Been a while.

Oh, just a few thousand years.

- I've waited much longer. - As have I.

Nice.

A bit quiet for my taste.

I can't tell if this is before

or after the fall of the humans.

What does it matter?

Well... I suppose it doesn't.

Hey now,

does that mean there's no time for tea?

Let's just get this over with, Durkon.

If I didn't know you any better,

I'd say that's fear I see in your eyes.

You don't know me at all.

After all these years,

all these battles we've waged against each other...

that hurts my feelings.

I'm gonna hurt a lot more than that, Durkon.

From whence he came,

so shall he be gone!

No!

That was a close one.

Granada.

How are you, Kyran?

I'm better now that you're here.

Indeed.

Lucky for you, it's a bit windy out.

I just slipped, that's all.

That's all.

I thought I taught you better than that, Kyran!

It's not as if man's entire destiny is on the line!

Listen, it's not a big deal. I'm just a little rusty.

Rusty indeed.

You really know how to make a guy feel better.

I'm not here to make you feel better, Kyran.

I'm here to make you better.

To ensure that the future of our world

falls into the right hands.

Not bad.

Maybe you do still have it.

How about a little...

tune up?

If you say so, my lady.

Ha.

But how can I best him when he knows my every move?

You must not shy away from this familiarity

with your opponent and his familiarity with you.

You must go further in.

You must enter his soul and become one with him

if you wish to become victorious.

Ah!

For the road to victory will not be paved

with the mind, but only through the heart.

Unless we can learn to quiet the mind and embrace the soul,

we will rage in battle for all eternity.

I know I'm your student but,

why after all these years have you not given me a chance?

Because you are a little boy.

You could teach me.

I've taught you enough, Kyran.

Finally! Finally, I'm ready!

Very well then.

It's time.

I will be...

victorious.

Okay. Watch and learn, my offspring.

It's all in the wrist.

It's all...

in...

Door! Get to the door! Come on!

Hey! Hang on, Pops.

Honey!

Honey! Honey!

Yes!

Cable TV!

Ah, it's been so long, my old friend.

Glad to see you before

the goddamn internet kills you off for good, eh?

It's coming. I'm tellin' ya.

Your days are numbered, my sweet, sweet friend.

And the winner

of the Great Outdoors Survival Competition is...

Caroline.

Congratulations, Caroline.

- Thank you for watching... - Dumbass!

Look how excited you are

to be the last one standing.

Yeah, that's gonna make you happy.

Can be a champion,

win a million dollars, get to do whatever you want,

whenever you want, eh? Sure, I get it.

Sounds awesome!

Just imagine what it's like when your competitor

just disappears on you.

Just never shows the fuck up,

even when the fucking lightning strikes and shit!

Yeah. There's no one to fight,

or compete with, or anything, it's just you,

you, alone, with yourself,

and your fucking million bucks

and these weird-ass clothes!

Think about that shit!

Okay.

Absolutely... nothing.

From whence he came,

so shall he be gone.

What the hell happened to you?

Oh.

Uh, nothing.

Whole lotta nothing.

You do realize I could kill you right now, right?

Yep. Crossed my mind.

Really?

Really, after all this time? This is how we're gonna end it?

What, do you... Do you want a kiss or?

Listen,

you wanna kill me? Come and get it.

Put that away.

I'm gonna get some water, and you get yourself together,

and when I come back, let's...

do battle.

Hey, stop it.

Come on. Come on, drink this.

- You're welcome. - Thank you.

It's okay, you take a second.

I can wait.

- Oh. - Nice one.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

This is it?

This is the place?

You had the dream, too, eh?

Final battle.

Right here in this room.

Well I knew

when I first got here.

You'll notice that no matter when we are,

it always smells the same?

I never thought of that.

Wait, do you...?

Do you think that we've been fighting in this same place

this whole time?

Huh?

1,384 battles...

all... right here.

It's kind of the end of an era

when you think about it that way.

What the hell do you care anyway?

Are you, like, mad at me or something?

Well, you are my sworn mortal enemy,

and we have been battling for an eternity, so, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, but, like,

beyond, like... I mean, I don't...

You seem off.

I'm fine, okay? Let's just get this over with.

No, no, no, no, no...

If you got something to say to me,

say it.

It's, it's just...

It's just too hard, okay? So,

I-I-I'd rather just kill you.

Go figure. I mean, some people really don't change.

Yeah, well, I suppose they don't.

You know, it didn't have to be like this.

- I mean, we could've... - We could've what?

Forget it.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

You don't show up for fucking thousands of years.

- Why should I expect anything of you? - Me?

Yes! You! I've been fucking waiting around

for fuckin' ever,

just, just thinking and thinking about...

things. I don't like thinking.

And that's my fault?

Yes! Yes, it is!

Because if you weren't so...

fucking evil, we could just, you know,

we coulda... saved the world or something,

but instead, we wasted all this fuckin' time,

battlin' and fightin' and...

Motherfucker! How am I the bad guy?!

You're the one who's been trying to destroy me!

You-you fucking asshole!

Ah!

Trying to be first man.

All about you and your fuckin' ego!

I wish I didn't have to do it all alone,

but I'm the only option!

All you wanna do is murder and kill.

Your nickname is literally Kyran the Killer!

Fuck you, man!

There won't be a next time.

But, we blew it.

We blew it.

Alas...

this...

is...

good...

Granada.

You know her?

How do you know her?

Boys...

Listen to me.

You must not shy away from this familiarity

with your opponent and his familiarity with you.

Familiarity?

You must enter his soul and become one with him

if you wish to become victorious.

For the road to victory will not be paved with the mind,

but only through the heart.

Unless we can learn to quiet the mind and embrace the soul,

we will rage in battle for all eternity.

- Mom? - Mother?

Hello, my sweet boys.

Does that mean we're...

Why didn't you tell us?

You used to know,

a long time ago.

You've been fighting for so long,

- I think you simply just... - Forgot.

Why'd you let us take it this far?

A mother can only do so much.

She gives what she can,

and she hopes her children turn toward each other.

That's all we can do.

Kyran.

Look.

We should turn...

Towards...

Each other.

I'm gonna be the first man.

No, I'm gonna be the first man.

One wrong move, and you're dead.

I know your every move.

From whence he came, so shall he be gone.

- Hi, Abby. - Bruce! Are you ready to go?

I don't understand.

Don't you remember? Babby!

She's still in there.

Bruce, what the fuck is this?

When your hero dies, they're dead forever.

But I've found a way to bring Babby back.

This is all a game.

I will be...

victorious.

So, Julian Wass and I teamed up and said,

"What if we tried to make a truly epic...

battling...

time-traveling...

musical episode,

that is an homage to movies like The Highlander

and The Terminator.

When we sat down with the whole crew

after they read the script, who were admittedly

kind of confused as to what the tone of it is,

you know, what we said was,

This episode is ridiculous, and is over the top,

and it is a farce and a parody,

but that doesn't mean we don't take it

absolutely seriously.

So, Julian and I got together,

and you know, all of a sudden we hire these Broadway actors

and singers, and it just turns into a thing

and it's probably the most fun thing we do on Room 104.

It's all... in...

Get the door, get the door.

Hang on, Pops.

Honey! Honey!