Original subtitles

Cover me guys!

Klopp stay here, by order!

Oh shit Gus!

Heho there!

I won't crap that four-cheese pizza!

What?

My pizza.

Sorry.

Which pizza did you want already?

Four-cheese. Pepperoni. Supplement.

Four-cheese...

Hey Gus, the one below.

Here you are.

Thank you, goodbye.

What the fuck? Why are those people queueing out there?

There is no problem...

I told you 20 times I don't need any lazy ass in here

Everything's fine.

No, nothing is fine, so you know what, you take your stuff and buzz off

You shut up and go take care of the customers!

Let me introduce myself. I'm Gustave Klopp.

But around here everyone calls me Gus.

Here, it's some lost place in the middle of nowhere,

in a city noone cares of.

Noone gives a damn about me either:

I'm the one noone ever sees.

Still I'm not like everyone else:

I was born with a "technical flaw" as they say.

I am narcoleptic and this is my story.

So what is narcolepsy?

The word narcolepsy appeared in 1880 from Greek "narke" or numbness -

It gave later words like "narcotic", drug -

and from Greek "lepsi" or seizure.

It is an irresistible tendency to sleep, it happens by crisis.

What I mean is your son is subject to untimely sleep fits.

Kid falls asleep any time, anywhere...

That I know, this is why I came to see you.

In fact your son is the victim of a nervous ultrasensitivity.

Affective. In short, emotional.

And this ultrasensitivity puts him instantaneously into a deep sleep.

He's going down in case of strong emotions.

He sleeps.

But the problem is even worse because the subject does not have any logic.

All your life your son is going to fall asleep, like that, any time...

And is there any treatment?

You know cases are rare, isolated...

So no there is not treatment...

I mean, not for the moment.

But is there really nothing you can do?

In fact... no.

Well, this is it. That makes 1.900 Francs.

Just kidding. 190 Francs.

This is my dad.

My mum dumped him quickly as she could not take his persistent laziness

and he raised me on his own.

This pro of doing nothing shared his life between three consuming passions

Frank Sinatra

Big time idleness

And the most important one, Z series action movies.

As a result my childhood was stringed along with lots of US heroism...

always the cheapest.

This influence from across the Atlantic might have had some effect on my subconscious.

Good God!

Gustave what is this dreadful thing?

Where do you get those foul things from?

From my head when I sleep.

Are you done with your composition, time to eat.

But it's full of spelling mistakes!

But Dad orthography is not my thing...

Alright so what is your thing then?

I see...

So that's me.

Yes...

You picture me with that face?

Years went on and after getting a passion for drawing, I got...

** ...societyyyy **

... another one.

Cool.

Yeah I wrote that.

So are we kissing now?

No.

You'll see, it's great!

Ok then but without tongue. I think it's gross.

You're right it's gross.

Even I had some failures like any regular teen, and some were...

quite painful.

Cm'on stop it!

Until fate put Pamela on my way.

Noone ever looked at me the way she did that night.

So I think I fell in love.

One of the coolest chicks around, let me tell you.

Pam was the kind of girl noone dared to talk to in high school.

She was a princess,

and she knew it well.

Come on wake up, this is not bedtime, let's go!

While she was not even 17, Bernard Tissot, 20 years older

3 kids and teacher in physical education...

Discovered one Monday morning the aptitudes of his young pupil for gymnastics...

Strangely enough Pam was no princess anymore.

So she dropped her studies to get started with...

Women's nails are the pure quintessence of the weaker sex's domination

Men love them, they attract you into the world of charm,

They seem trivial, but they are everything.

All shapes and colours in the world at the tip of your fingers:

White, pink, red, black

French or American

Exotic or English

Glittering or striped

Square or long.

It's not a simple nail beauty salon, it's a cure, a rebirth.

She who seeks perfect happiness shall only reach it after dropping at Holly Ongles.

Auguste, I swear I could talk about it for hours!

Of course - nail is to woman what moustache is to man:

the sign of an exceptional personality.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

I told her my dreams...

I would have liked to make cartoons.

I always wanted to be a cartoonist.

But right now I don't have many ideas...

And she told me hers.

I have an idea. Been thinking about it since I was a little girl

Maybe it won't happen soon, but I'll put my heart into it,

and I'm sure I'll succeed.

Using fake nails...

on the toes!

That's so inspired. Genius idea!

Do you have any idea how many women dream of having beautiful toenails?

I guess...

Yes, but noone talks about it.

No. True. Noone does.

Feet are to women what beard is to men - the sign of a real spiritual blossoming.

Are they?

Of course.

Pam

Look under your napkin.

What?

A little surprise.

"You want to mary me?"

By marrying her I was gaining her son Kevin.

Kevin, it won't get done by magic.

We moved all together in a small house bought on a 40-year credit,

in some nice and serene suburbs.

At the beginning of our married life Pam and me it was...

Oh yes I'm naughty. Naughty naughty

Gus?

Then it quickly became...

Good night.

"I saw you shot him but are you sure he's dead?

- I ain't missing no target

- But we ran away too fast without checking he was dead..."

In short, a new life was starting for me,

promising a future of surprises and excitement.

The only shadow on our so perfect happiness was my incapacity to get a job:

Congratulations Mr Klopp and welcome to our warehouse.

As I told you already you are joining a dynamic and enterprising team,

enthusiastic.

Now, if you would like to sign at the bottom of the page...

Just one thing: you don't have any specific health problem, do you?

Specific health problem... No. No, no...

Holy Mary!

You're fired!

You're fired!

Fired!

Not tonight, I'm tired.

I happen to have a job.

That is so really mean...

Mean what?

Nothing.

Yes please let's talk about it.

I'd like to have a job too, if you can believe that!

It's not my fault if.. You know what I mean...

I'm sick.

Are you done acting like a kid?

So whose fault is it if not yours?

Quit it 'cause you're seriously starting to be a pain!

I can feel you're worried.

Gus we've run out of money, do you get that? We do-not-have any money.

I've been digging in the shop's money. Soon we won't make it at all.

We're in a shitload of trouble, get it?

I can make some money.

I don't have anyhing to wear, car is breaking down, taxmen are after us,

and I did not pay taxes last month I'll get a 15% fine for sure...

Why 15% could be 8 or 12 but it's always 15%...

... It's not that important, but you need to understand that

our situation is not always easy for me.

Alright. I've been talking to my ass again.

That night, the disease that was playing against me had decided to change side

What's going on now?

What's up?

May I know what has got into you?

I figured it out.

Figured what out?

A meaning to my life.

Hi dumbass, got your head right up your butt once more?

This is Lenny Bar (the boobies)

He's my best friend.

You're my best friend

You're my bro

No, you're my bro

Last one before we go home.

His real name is not Lenny Bar, but Jean-Guy Cro�ton.

But he thought it did not sound American enough for a karateka.

Because Lenny is an awesome karateka.

Alright. Karate is a fighting sport but it is after all the art of defense.

A karateka must be ready to ward off any blow.

I'm going to show you a couple dodging moves.

Gus, please come.

Watch carefully.

Double cross

Reversal

Blow

Deadly fingers.

Thanks.

Stretch your leg out.

Reversal, break, jabs.

Third, the Snake blow:

Snake closure. Thanks, Gus.

Last time someone wears socks on my tatami.

Now let's review a few dodging moves from last week. The Bull's dodging, remember?

You.

Attack me.

Get back.

Got it?

You must be ready to face any aggression alright?

What's this? It's bullshit.

It's Karate Kid and it's a piece of shit.

It has nothing to do with karate and tells nothing true about karate

Real karate isn't that. Real karate comes from the heart, it says something

It's Double Impact.

That's real karate.

But Double Impacts sucks a little...

I've seen it, it's not that great...

Who are you?

You've been taking karate class for two weeks and you're already opening your mug?

You can trust me, this is great karate.

Because it's Jean-Claude Van Damme,

and Van Damme has turned karate into a religion.

But I'm talking about the movie, not karate in general.

The movie.

The movie, yeah I got that.

But this movie, I'm sorry, is great.

Isn't it, dudes? Why is it a great movie?

Answer is 2. They are 2.

Jean-Claude Van Damme. They are 2.

Jean-Claude and Jean-Claude, hence Double Impact.

They are freakin' twins!

Quit it. Van Damme is bad.

You should not joke about Van Damme when Lenny was around.

So, is Van Damme still that bad?

As his teaching methods did not get an unanimous liking,

Lenny got laid off shortly after.

Still his dream had almost come true:

becoming the world's greatest karateka.

This is what I want to be. Understand, Gus?

I want to get French karate out of its limits.

This is my ambition.

Climb in.

Still no job?

Less than ever.

Meanwhile, Lenny was leaving world wide karate fight by itself

to enjoy the daily transportation of the employees from the area.

I am going to shut the mouths of those who want me to quit karate.

It's going to be a bomb, pal.

With a few parpens.

Why are you saying that?

Because dude, I know. They should not think I'm an ass,

'cause I know.

Oh yeah, they'd like Lenny to get back to his small karate business,

fitting the mold, keeping it shut.

I'm stronger than them. With that...

Right up their ass!

But who 'they'?

They?

Them... people...

Do you think people actually give a damn about your karate?

You are so naive! You don't know they tried to stop Jean-Claude Van Damme

from going to Hollywood?

But he made it. Because he fought for it.

And you know why he won?

Because he had the Eye of the Tiger.

And I have it, too. I'll show them.

Wanna get wasted with wine?

Hey Lenny...

I have a surprise too.

Remember one day, I told you that my own personal karate

it was cartoons.

Remember?

No.

You surely do. I told you... 'My own personal karate is cartoons.'

Yeah alright. So what?

I'm getting started!

Good for you.

And I've found my hero.

Do you know where I found him?

In here.

In your hair?

In here, in my dreams. He appears every time I fall asleep.

He comes back every time I have a fit.

When I wake up all I have to do is grab a pencil.

Cool. Help me with the blocks, will you?

Lenny, I don't think you realise how important it is.

I am finally going to be who I really am.

A cartoonist.

And it's my subconscious is telling me what to do.

Awesome, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Yeah, yeah...

See, you found a job finally. You could sell that crap.

Those assholes right there with their Spiderman

and the other wuss in stockings,

they have room for you, no problemo.

I thought about it but I'm not sure what Pam is going to say...

What do you care about Pam?

Gus, who owns the pair of balls?

Yes, but...

Yes but what?

Yeah...

Come here, let's celebrate with a beer.

It's 11:00 after all...

So what?

I think you've been drinking a little too much lately.

Hey Gus. I'm not drinking.

I'm often thirsty. It's not the same.

Oh shit!

Shit!

Happy birthday Kevin.

Kevin, I'm happy you're here.

First because your presence at this table has become a rarity,

then because I'd like to talk to you.

Don't get it started.

I am getting started. I got a letter from school asking me to come Thursday.

Can you explain me why?

Because I have better to do than see those jerk faces.

Kevin, try to be nice to your mother.

What's with you asshole. You try and lecture me while you're sleeping all day?

Enough already!

Look at him! Look at your husband there!

And you're happy. You married a jerk and you're fine with it!

Stop it right now!

Fuck off you and that goddamn birthday cake!

Happy birthday, sonny!

What's wrong sweetheart?

Nothing.

What's going on? Is it Kevin?

Leave me alone. I'm fine.

I can see something is wrong. Tell me

I can't take it any more. You sleep all day, you wake up at night,

you're having fits all the time in shops, here, at people's places...

It's too hard you need to do something about it.

Find a solution because I've reached my limits.

There I realised it was one of those privileged moments for a couple,

those moments where you can tell each other everything.

I had to reassure her, make her feel protected,

So I said:

I have one.

I have a solution.

I am going to make cartoons.

It's going to be my job.

Cartoons.

Have you become an insane jerk or what?

But...

Out of question is that clear?

You could trust me a little...

Trust you? You can't keep a job for more than one hour or take care of us.

I'm living with a ghost who spends his days sleeping!

We're digging our own grave and you come to me talking about cartoons!

Hey there Gus, reality is here and right now and it's not pretty!

So move your ass!

Good. Let's resume.

What is your name?

Herv�. Your name is Herv�.

Yeah, right. My name is Herv�.

Very good. So your name is?

Good. It's alright. We'll get back to you later.

For the moment I propose we should listen to Gus who has not confided to us yet

Gus?

I had decided to follow the advice of my wife.

I was moving my ass going to a group therapy.

That day I met people whose destiny was somehow close to mine.

All were secluded from normal life,

the victims of what they call orphan diseases.

I have a tiny perception problem.

Among them there was this girl who could only see half of the things

Done!

Another one who felt compelled to do harm

to red haired people.

One was sure that objects have a soul...

I know you're scared. Don't worry it'll be fine.

Stop it.

And me.

It seems you have a little sleeping problem, is that right Gus?

I sleep all the time.

Noone of you make fun!

On my ship there is only love and compassion. Go ahead.

You calm down, please.

We are listening to you.

I am narcoleptic. It's a disease.

Since I was a kid I've been leading some kind of parallel life...

More details, please

Sorry. You see there is real life and dreams,

the ones I have when I'm sleeping.

Meaning that your days are sending information to your subconscious

who turns them into a virtual reality.

Right.

Let's take for example that micro nap you got while you were sitting with us.

Did you dream?

Yeah. You want me to relate it?

I closed my eyes.

Then I dreamed of a huge forest. There was the broom of thunder

and lightning bolts were slashing the sky.

I had group therapy three times a week.

... And at that moment my wife woke me.

Splendid. That's splendid!

Sometimes I even got the impression that my stories made them happy.

You calm down, please.

What is crazy is wasting your time like that.

You won't get better that way. That doctor is a quack who needs your money.

What do you care? If it makes the dumbs happy.

They are not dumb. They are people with troubles...

I don't want those dumbs to recover. I want him to get better!

Got fetch me some water.

Move.

Pam, may I tell you something?

I think you're kinda harsh with your chap.

I don't know if he showed you his cartoons but I think they're pretty cool.

Tell me you're not getting started too.

Some idiot put into his head he could make a career.

What do you think you're doing? You wait 'til I'm done!

I put some coins so you just wait til I'm done, got it?

What did you just say?

Split you shitheads. Want to get kicked?

Split or I'll kick you! Teen morons.

What's wrong with that machine anyway?

I don't want to hear about cartoons any more.

I wish he got rid of that fucking infirmity, that's all!

I'm tired of living with half a man.

I want a full one...

only for me.

Gus, I have to admit your stories are enchanting our meetings, aren't they?

Tell me, have you ever thought of writing them down?

I have.

As a matter of fact I've ben drawing since I was a kid.

So here it is. I am drawing all my dreams.

You mean, you're making paintings, pictures...?

No, not really.

In fact I turn them into cartoons.

Well this is...

beautiful.

Wanna hear another one?

So the other day I was on the bus falling asleep

and then suddenly the bus stops, I get out and I am in a village...

Mr Pupkin.

The jury of the High College of Arts has studied your work carefully,

and we are now going to vote.

Lousy!

Next, please.

Goodbye.

One thing or the other pal, either you drop cartoons

or your buy yourself some new hands.

Samuel, enough now with your Bohemian ambitions!

You will continue the family tradition and become a psychiatrist,

like me and your dead grandfather.

All the more advisable as you are devoid of the slightest talent.

And you don't think he's taking the piss out of us?

He's not bullshitting. According to him it is important for my mental health.

I don't know if anything can improve your mental health.

It's unbelievable to be such a limp.

Wait a minute, it's not true...

Ssh it's starting now.

I'm not a limp. Fuck you.

What did you just say?

Nothing.

You said something.

No.

Careful, Gus. Careful.

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening!

The Caneton Hardware Store is proud to present for the first time in France,

the new martial art genius.

Please welcome and applause the karateka of all karateka,

The Tiger of the Rising Sun,

Bruce Lee's spiritual son,

The heir of Jackie Chan,

Chuck Norris' cousin,

Jet Li's brother,

the great, the one and only

Lenny Bar!

Yay... Karate is a blast when karate blasts!

'The most important is to run the race', as they say.

Let's give Lenny Bar a big applause!

Fucking parpens!

You were terrific...

Terrific, my balls!

It's no big deal...

It is, because I know I can destroy them!

Only this fucking announcer made me lose my concentration

talking about Chuck Norris instead of Van Damme.

It distracted me while I know I'm perfectly capable of blasting those blocks.

Fucking parpens!

I'm humiliated.

I'm humiliated I don't get it, just don't get it.

Who wants some ice cream?

Dad, want some?

Pam, what's going on?

I can't take it anymore.

Don't...

You know it's nothing serious, he's going to wake up...

It's never going to end!

I'm so sick of it!

I feel so lonely.

I'm here at least. Right?

Lenny is here.

One night in July, my dad's heart decided to go beat beside Frank Sinatra's.

Good for him, a shame for me.

Yes, what is it about?

Good morning Mrs Klopp, delighted to meet you.

I am Mr Pupkin. Samuel Pupkin.

You are.

So... Gustave went out looking for a job.

He's been looking for a job for the last three years.

Three years. Waw.

I guess it's not easy to pay the bills...

It's not easy indeed. I still have some cleanup to do

so if you don't mind...

I am leaving now. Thanks again for welcoming me in your home

I was very curious to see where Gustave Klopp is living

You were. Are you that interested in my husband?

This is an understatement, Madam.

I have a genuine passion for him.

You surely are the only one.

Well, goodbye and say hello to Gustave from me.

Yeah that's it.

By the way, sorry but...

has you husband ever told you about his drawings?

Yeah.

I'm extremely curious to have a look at them...

Maybe you know where he keeps them by chance?

I'm not sure he'd be happy someone looks at them without telling him.

Of course.

But you know, I myself believe that everything that gives me

a better knowledge of your husband

will help me understand how to cure him,

how to help him with a normal life...

Along with a lot of work and all...

But maybe you are right.

So long.

Wait.

What had been unveiled to my eyes was beyond all my hopes.

I had a masterpiece within my reach.

I...

I came for the deal.

I have a contract to offer you.

What kind

of contract,

Mr Pupkin?

I'd like you to cut in and get one of my associates out of the picture.

Are you aware of who we are, Mr Pupkin?

Of course I knew who they were.

And the winners for 1982 are the twins, ladies and gentlemen!

Their legend had spread all over the country.

No!

Not like this!

Can you hear me when I tell you something?

You're a pair of imbeciles!

You'll never become winners that way, never!

You're a pair of idiots!

Let's get started again you, blithering idiots.

I'm wondering why I'm wasting my time with you.

Morons!

Good riddance. Shithead.

We will be delighted to take care of your friend,

Mr Pupkin.

Fuck. I really did not need that to happen.

Let me remind you he's dying right now.

Maybe you could quit thinking about you?

You, you, you!

I'm scared don't you get it?

I have a kid, a house, I have a whole life, Lenny.

What I am going to do now?

Anyway, that won't be a big change for you,

He was falling asleep all the time.

And I'm here.

How did I end up here?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

How you ended up here, where you screwed up?

I did not foresee that. Not like that.

Where did you think you'll end up?

Don't know.

But time passes and I notice nothing is changing.

I was born here, I grew up here and I'm still here.

I thought that I would do things.

I was sure I had a destiny

like the ones in the newspapers.

And I'm here, thinking it might happen tomorrow...

I don't really believe in it now. Not anymore.

I'm no princess and you're no karate star, that's the way it is.

I'm a great karateka, OK?

You're pissing me off with your bullshit.

Because I'm a hell of a karateka.

I never got a chance that's all.

And maybe you are a goddamn princess you don't know

Because when I see you so pretty,

in your shop with your.. nails.. your arms,

your beautiful eyes, your small tits,

your hair that always smells like you just got out of the shower...

For me,

you're a goddamn princess.

My princess.

Do you really mean what you just said, Lenny?

I do.

You think it's ridiculous?

We have to leave, Lenny.

We have to leave.

What? How?

Far away.

Where?

Do you want to leave with me?

But I have no real plan of...

Lenny, do you want to leave with me?

But where?

Lenny...

To the US?

Alright.

Doctor, this is Lenny, my... brother.

Pleased to meet you.

Wait 'til you know me better.

What happened to us is a misfortune. A tragedy.

Life often brings it's share of bad surprises.

It was so unexpected.

May the Lord, in His great mercy, protect your husband.

He left an empty space.

My heart is sad today, Pam

Yes. Right.

Is there a way to make some money with his drawings or what?

Yes...

Fine, so let's stop sniffing each other's ass.

Yes...

I decided to meet the biggest publisher in those parts,

Aka Guy Bennet.

A failed stand-up comedian who made a new career in publishing.

Talking about bitches, she is one hell of a whore!

Show is over.

Thank you, public.

You are marvellous.

Even if he did not have any talent as an artist,

he believed nonetheless he had enough to dig up the hidden talent in others,

using and overusing his flair and...

his big snoot.

My nose never betrayed me

and I can tell you this manuscript is a piece of shit.

People want to have some fun, laugh their heads off.

So quit bugging them with your intellectual bullshit!

Now split!

Guy Bennet and his nose had thus failed to discover mountains of masterpieces

and other talents.

... So sick of those assholes...

Next!

Mr Bennet, Mr Pupkin here.

Hi.

What are you here for, pal?

I'm not into cartoons and I don't even give a shit.

So you just rise that ass of yours and get out of my office.

Allow me to insist. Take a look, even one second.

Out.

I insist.

Fine.

Fine...

Cigar?

No, thanks.

At the beginning I could not take that idiot face Pupkin

But, what the fuck.

What he showed me that day impressed me shitless.

I could smell success for miles with that cartoon.

Then I got an idea :

I could erase his dialogs

and replace them by mine.

(... Not the right time to fart!)

Good. That's freaking fun.

Then I would conquer the market and wait.

My comical genius will shine through,

and I'll finally get the place I deserve.

(Guy Bennet. Something itchy in my ass)

The Bennet delight!

The fabulous Guy Bennet sorbet

Young fat chicken � la mode Bennet

Guy Bennet champagne

The biggest artists would seek my advice...

Write me a show.

It means nothing for you, you know I admire you.

I won't disappoint you, I promise...

One part. A small one...

I said no already.

Please...

Stop insisting. It's embarassing.

I would get dozens of chicks...

So?

So... Not bad.

Well done.

Only one problem. Big one.

Problem?

Dialogs. You dialogs are shitty, a bunch of crap.

People want to have some fun, laugh their heads off.

You think so?

I don't think so. I am sure.

It's a real problem. A pity.

Well, Mr...

Pupkin.

I'm not holding you back. Have a lot to do,

so goodbye and good luck.

Maybe we could... I don't know...

Find a solution to this problem?

Exactly.

I might have an idea.

So?

So, here you go.

Holy shit. Are they real?

Yes, and there will be as many for every volume we will bring him.

You're shitting me.

Where am I?

You're at the hospital, son.

Dad?

You've been in a coma for many weeks...

Long weeks.

But what are you doing...

It seems you were given a second chance...

What are you going to do with it?

Wait Dad!

Dad?

...Then the ninja looks him right in the eyes and says in Chinese

'You do that again, I'll smash your face'

And then, silence. Not a noise.

The opponents are watching each other,

like cats.

Ever seen big cats when they are going to scratch the crap out of each other?

Same... Retraction!

Hurry up Kevin, you'll be late for school.

Pam, I'm telling my story.

But the ninja does not give a damn,

cause he already punched the other, kicked his face and here you go for some slapping!

I don't give a rats ass about your bullshit.

You don't feel like an idiot watching this at your age?

Don't start, Kevin.

Yes, it's me.

Don't you ever talk to me like that again. I'm not like Gus, got it?

If you disrespect me again I'll kick you and give a new meaning to your life.

I want you to split, you have nothing to do here.

Formidable. Alright, thanks.

Gus is awake.

For real?

I felt weird.

I did not know if I was really alive or still a little dead.

I don't know for what reason,

but I sat down there.

Then I sat down there.

Then when I got tired of sitting there, I sat down there.

And there.

There, I understood something:

I'm no longer narcoleptic.

Gus woke up.

Oh God, no.

Does not seem to please you.

No, I mean yes, it is a great joy but...

It puts us into trouble, doesn't it?

In some way.

What I am supposed to do? Should I tell him...

No, above all don't, Pam.

Don't say anything.

First I have to talk to our associates.

But you told me they knew already!

Of course they know but...

Listen, I'll handle everything. Don't do anything until I get back to you.

I have to tell him about the money and all!

Of course, but don't. Don't do anything for the moment.

Then hurry.

I will.

Farewell.

Good-bye, Ma-dam.

Pam came to visit me.

She seemed thrilled to see me.

... Thrilled to see you.

So am I.

I brought some chocolate...

Thank you...

You gave us quite a fright, you know.

I scared myself too.

And how do you feel?

It may seem weird, but I've never felt that great.

And... When are they letting you out?

In two days.

Good... good.

Good because mail is really starting to pile up,

and the guy in charge of your disability allowance keeps on sending mail,

saying they want to charge you off.

I called and called, but you know administration and me...

I said, if you didn't die you'd go there in person...

I knew Pam could talk about overdue mail for hours,

so I got an idea:

My happiness of getting home got slightly diminished when I discovered

the lifeless body of this decent man.

I instantly found a coincidence between my accident and this corpse.

But I managed to pull together all my self-control not to freak out.

As I told you the car speeded up right in my direction.

I lost consciousness,

and I ended up in a coma.

I remember perfectly what happened before.

And... I believe that my hospital neighbour did not die a natural death.

I think someone attempted to kill me once more.

And they missed you.

Exactly.

Let me summarize:

You are Gustave Klopp.

I am.

You are long-term unemployed due to semi-invalidity,

Yes.

in addition you are cartoonist,

and you believe someone is after you.

Exactly.

Very well.

What are you going to do? Investigate?

Of course. And we are going to put our best agents on the case.

Alright.

Sorry.

Well, thanks for listening.

Goodbye, Mr Klopp.

How is the procedure? Are you going to keep me informed...

Yes, of course.

I'm starting to be very worried.

Of course.

Thank you.

Good cheer.

Let's have a toast to family.

To family.

To family. Bullshit.

Kevin!

Drop it. I want to talk to you both.

About what?

Can I trust you?

Of course, are you kidding?

Can I trust you?

Sure, no doubt about that...

You're going to think I'm crazy.

We won't, go ahead.

My accident,

was not an accident.

A car aimed at me on purpose.

I don't know who it was or why,

but I'm sure it was no accident.

Come on, what are you jabbering about?

Let me finish.

This morning at the hospital when I woke up, there was a dead body in the bed next to mine

A what?

A dead person.

But I am sure I'm the one who was supposed to end up dead

Watch it, Gus. Your macabre stories are starting to confuse you.

You are not listening. I told you It's not a dream, it is real.

Someone tried to kill me and I just don't know why.

Let me tell you something, Gus.

I think you need some rest. You're different than usual.

Will you shut up? Are you going to listen to me at least once in your life?

I know what I'm saying!

I've never been more normal.

Shit. He was completely unnerved.

He went crazy.

It completely upset him.

I don't understand.

Nice tomatoes we had for dinner.

Talking about tomatoes...

you know what I want now?

I want your small tomatoes.

Your cute breasts

Quiet. Stop it.

Come on...

We don't care, he's sleeping anyway.

No. Not here. Not now.

Then I'm splitting.

See you tomorrow then.

You'll tell your moron of a son to give my tapes back.

All those years sleeping were not in my favour, I had to admit.

It was time to wake up.

Can you turn down your music a little?

What's your problem? Why are you bugging me? Get out of my room!

Shit.

I don't want to hear about any accident again.

Otherwise I'll break you, I swear.

Of course.

Loser.

Why are you staring at me that way?

Is it my hair? You don't like it?

I don't know... You look different.

I have the impression many things have changed recently.

Why are you saying that?

I don't know. It's only an impression I have.

Go ahead, express your thoughts for Christ sake!

I'm getting back to drawing.

Welcome to the Pupkin ancestral residence.

For more than four centuries, many Pupkin generations have succeeded to each other in this house

Good for them. In fact I'm here to see Mr Pupkin.

Fine. Follow me, please.

I'm taking you to the salon. Mr Pupkin won't be long.

Sir, you are now in the den of a family whose spirit was entirely devoted

to psychology and other human behaviour sciences.

Only little Samuel was not fated to embrace this vocation.

This is the room that treasures his true passion.

Originals, rare editions, unpublished

A priceless collection.

Herg�, Franquin, Uderzo and Goscinny

Moebius or Stanley

Mr Samuel owns everything any cartoon collector would dream of.

Do you like cartoons, Mr Flokk?

Klopp.

Wait until you have seen the jewel of his collection.

His creation.

You know that joke about a Black who wants to buy bananas from a Belgian guy?

You don't know that one?

Mamadou wants to buy bananas from a Belgian guy...

Mr Bennet.

What again?

Someones wants to see you.

I don't have time.

He insists. Says it's very urgent.

Damn it!

Alright. Get him in.

Biography or photobook, no.

Essays or compendium, no.

Fucking poetry, still no.

Even if you wrote the Bible my answer is no, no and no.

So why are you here?

For that.

So what?

Thank you.

Thank you dear public.

Guy

What a show.

I never experienced anything like that.

Bravo. It was really great. I laughed a lot.

A lot.

Gustave Klopp.

Pardon?

Oh, yes.

Well... It's stupid... How can I explain...

There is nothing to explain I got it all.

I'll be very clear with you, pal.

You got us into trouble, you' re going to get us out of it.

I don't know how and I don't care.

Our problem becomes yours. Your fucking big problem.

You have 24 hours to make sure I never hear from that guy again.

Is that clear?

It is.

You screwed up, Pupkin.

I'm going to fix this. The situation is totally under my control.

Totally under control!

Please understand that the situation has become embarassing.

I made a deal with you. You promised I would not see him again.

I paid, a lot.

Mr pupkin, you should keep your self-control.

It is useless to get stressed.

It could impair the quality of our work.

Which quality? You missed him every time!

Careful. Mr Pupkin.

You know we cannot stand scenes or anger.

It makes us very nervous, Mr Pupkin.

And you would not like to unnerve us, Mr Pupkin.

Be quick, I beg you. Hurry.

They don't have a peculiar genre.

You screwed up, Pupkin.

I don't want to hear about any accident again.

Otherwise I'll break you, I swear.

You are devoid of the slightest talent, Mr Pupkin.

Psychiatrist... Family tradition...

... devoid of the slightest talent...

You would not like to unnerve us, Mr Pupkin.

How are you, my love?

It is the first time you call me love.

Because you are my only, true love.

I never made anything in my life.

I have nothing.

But I have everything.

Because I have you, my love.

Are you ok, Gus?

Why?

Don't know...

You seem a little...

What's this!

Stop it!

How could you do that to me?

Look at me!

Bitch! get the hell out of here!

Stop it, you're hurting me!

We didn't know you would ever wake up!

You want it?

You bastard!

Lenny,

What you have done is wrong.

I know.

What do you want out of this?

I don't know...

Glory?

No...

Fame?

No, I...

Then what? What will you do with your soul?

Hold on, Jean-Claude. It's easy for you to tell me all this,

you're on top. I'm a worthless shit at the bottom

Noones is at the top or the bottom!

Success is worthless without love, you know that.

Success is only worth in relation to oneself.

And nothing else matters, Lenny.

I hoped you'd be proud of me somehow!

Proud of you? How could I be?

Think about Gus!

I know...

The friend who never left you.

He supported you through the worst times of your life, right?

I know that, Jean-Claude...

You'll have to bear the burden of your betrayals

every day for the rest of your life.

But...

You are a star, Lenny, for the ones who love you.

Stop it.

You're a star!

You think so?

You're a star for the ones who love you. Don't forget it.

Follow your heart. I will be proud of you.

Lenny Bar.

The world's greatest karateka.

OK?

Now, go.

Thank you, Jean-Claude.

You are right.

I'm going to follow what my heart tells me to do.

Am I intruding?

What you are doing here? We did not invite you here.

And be informed that we hate surprises.

I like beer.

I was planning to have a beer with my best friend tonight.

Like we used to before.

Do it now because tonight is the very last time.

Alright.

Obviously you're not from the neighbourhood.

Otherwise you would know who I am.

I am Lenny Bar

The biggest karateka on earth, ever.

In other circumstances I would have unscrewed your face already

But not this evening.

Because tonight Lenny understood something, sitting in his caravan.

Do you know what?

He understood that success is a lie

without love.

Obviously there is not much love in those dry hearts of yours.

Am I wrong, brothers?

We are not brother and sister. We are twins.

Right. I don't care.

All I see is a family in pain.

What happened?

What brought you to that situation?

Watch it. You are hurting a weak spot.

I'm begging you to stop.

Do you realise how lucky you are?

You are two.

You are two in this fucking world.

I'm all alone!

I can headkick all the parpens in the world,

still it will never replace the love of the brother I never had.

And as a matter of fact he's like my brother.

Heho freak! So you know what?

You're going to listen to your heart, lower that gun,

Lower that gun, I tell you.

And you give your sister a kiss.

What?

Give your sister a kiss.

Go on!

You too.

So?

So how does that feel? No long faces anymore!

And remember one thing

You are stars for the ones who love you.

Go ice skate now.

Morons.

I have a nice one.

A guy comes home and tells his wife

'Honey you won't see me for the next 10 minutes'

Wife asks: 'Why, are you leaving again?'

'No, I'm going to butt-fuck you'

I went back to the police. And this time

This time we believe you.

They believed me.

They searched through the Bennet publishing house.

Guy Bennet ended up in the biggest jail of the area.

So the guy tells the other one

'That was close I got butt-fucked!'

Fucked in the ass...

He will spend there the best years of his life.

Samuel Pupkin, like many others

will not manage to escape his owns demons.

The Twins went back to spotlights and competition.

Lenny Bar found himself another job somewhere else.

But no other passion in his heart than becoming

the world's greatest karateka.

One day you'll see my face on top of a film poster

and even you will pay to see it on a big screen. You'll see.

Meanwhile, go show your face at the other end of the parking lot.

Move.

... show your face at the other end of the parking...

I could have kicked him. But I won't do it anymore.

You're right, Jean-Claude. You cooled me down.

I'm at peace now, because my soul is clean.

She was there before me.

I would have liked to take one those knives and tear her heart out

to make her understand.

But instead, I think I said:

I'm going to make some coffee.

Of course it took some time.

But I forgot eventually.

I'm not sure it is going to match my new haircolor...

Life went on like before.

I can't come here every week...

And I think now is the end of my story.

I know what you're thinking: no triumphing victory, no big destiny.

It did not turn out very glorious.

But what can I say...

I was never a hero.