Original subtitles

Einstein murdered and Emilio Herrera is the suspect...

-Emilio Herrera, just today.

-Angustias, this I must solve alone.

We have been asking for a budget increase during half year and,

Suddenly, a delegate come to discuss the issue.

Lout.

Do we know something about Salvador?

What Salvador? Salvador.

Salvador... I don't know anything.

Coffee?

(TV) "Death in Moscow

of cosmonaut Mikhail Kuliákov, the first man to step on the moon.

For the conquest of space it was decisive

the work of the Spanish scientist Emilio Herrera,

father of the space suit

who donated his invention to the USSR. "-No. Not again.

The Russians want his space suit. And I am here to prevent it.

-What are you doing? -Steal the space suit, I'd say.

-Well, that's correct.

Do you want Hernán Cortés to conquer Mexico with a kalashnikov?

It was a joke, Irene.

What year has he been? 1936, Madrid.

(MACHINE GUN)

Put down your weapons.

Of course I spend on canvases and oils!

What do you expect, That I could paint the lances with highlighters?

-Anything else? -No, I feel relieved.

Thank you, you have saved my son.

-I screwed up, right? -No, you're a hero.

From that,

I thought that everything good and bad would happen to Herrera

it would be my responsibility.

-So you are?

-Ignacio María Ayerbe De la Fuente Jiménez Salgado.

What the fuck?

Do I have to show you my ID card?

Clearly, you got off on the wrong foot with me.

-Here we go again! -Emilio Herrera?

-The same. You appear in a 1947 French newspaper.

-Why did you want to see me?

-I wanted to know if my life has been worth it.

-This is for you.

A moon rock. -We'll get to the moon.

-In 1969, with a space suit that is an evolution of yours.

-Finally everything makes sense.

The other day, I had a colossal fight with my wife.

Just because I told her friend, Montse

that he looked a little fatter.

My wife called me everything: rude, prick, insensitive.

I could'nt believe it.

So I said to my wife, "But is she fatter or not?"

And she told me:

"Of course she is, but it's not ok for you to tell her.

It is not politically correct. "

Politically correct? And what is that?

Thank God, the next day,

a newspaper was talking about just that,

of the politically correct.

And I found out what was going on.

It is that you say what you say, do not offend anyone.

I thought that the straightforward truth was the way to reach everywhere.

Well no, we are living politically correct times.

Now prices do not rise, they adapt to inflation.

Workers are not fired,

they are let go.

If your child don't pass the exams, the card no longer says "Fail",

it does not progress properly.

Now people don't go hungry,

it is five points below the interprofessional salary.

If you kill a guy, he remains as victim.

But if you kill 1,500, are collateral damage.

I can no longer tell my boss that I have an African hatred,

but my hatred for him goes beyond Ceuta and Melilla.

And my son,

I will have to tell him the story of Snow White

and the seven individuals whose height is not adapted to the western canon.

Thank you.

-Well, you've been wonderful.

-Thank you.

It is a pity that the public does not understand my humor.

I always try to give it an intellectual touch, you know?

But people don't like to think. That's the problem.

-Aha, of course.

-Now, the public is only interested in seeing

if a famous person has hard time on an island

or if "so-and-so" cheats on "so-and-so's".

And I ask myself: why did I study Grotowski?

What would Stanislavski say about all this?

-No idea. -Well, I'm going to tell you.

Stanislavski would say: "Who am I? Where do I come from? Where am I going?"

-The pulse is very weak.

-The last drugs he gave him were useless.

- That happens to you for trusting a liberal.

- Before liberal, I am a doctor.

And this man, first of all, is my patient.

- Sign it, Fernando, for God's sake,

you cannot leave the country in the hands of your brother.

- And in whose hands do you want to leave it?

-In those of a two-year-old girl? -What are you doing here?

-Can't I worry about my brother's health?

-Now it is OK.

If you want to argue, go outside.

-That is why I seek the truth of my characters,

their deepest feelings. -I think it's great.

-But it's no use.

I present myself to all the casting

and the same people get all the characters.

And do you know why? -No.

-Well, I'm just going to explain. -Sorry.

(PHONE)

Yes?

-I send you some images

so they can see how things are around here.

We must act now.

-Well, have it ready for tomorrow.

Thank you.

Mr. Cucalón, come see me first thing tomorrow,

I have an offer for you that you cannot reject.

You're dying, you bastard.

And only a miracle can save you.

"-You cannot leave the country in the hands of your brother.

- And in whose hands do you want to leave it?

In those of a two-year-old girl? -What are you doing here? "

(SALVADOR) That's what I say.

"Can't I worry...?"

What is the infant Carlos María Isidro doing there?

-Carlos María Isidro? What a posh name.

Well, it doesn't ring a bell to me.

Well, if we do not act, he will be king and then it will ring very loud.

Ernesto, please.

-Yes. On September 16, 1832,

King Ferdinand VII's health worsened,

who was convalescing in his palace at La Granja.

Queen María Cristina, pressured by the absolutists,

headed by Calomarde, gave up.

And pressured her husband

to revoke the pragmatic sanction of 1830

that closed the access to the throne of Carlos María Isidro

in favor of the king's daughter, Isabel, just two years old.

They were not amused that the crown was worn by a woman.

With the other Isabel who reigned in the XV century it didn't go so badly for us.

A full-blown coup d'etat. Exact.

The king signed on condition

that the new decree did not come public until his death,

and that, if we do not hurry, it will happen before time.

-It seems that our friend Carlos is in a hurry to be king.

-Very well, what is there to do? -No, you are on leave.

Julian will go.

By the way, where is he?

I call him, but he doesn't pick up the phone. Well, insist.

-Boss, I can't be home.

Being at home overwhelm me, I need action.

It is a matter of utmost urgency, sir.

-Okay, he will go on a mission.

-Okay, and what is there to do?

- Very much to my regret, save the life of Fernando VII,

the worst king Spain has ever had.

I, with all due respect,

but it does not seem right to wish evil to any king.

Oh no?

Ferdinand VII fled when Napoleon invaded us.

On his return, once the war was won, he sent into exile

to those who had risked their lives to defend their country

and executed others, such as al Empecinado, for example.

Does it ring a bell?

-Irene and I will bring Fernando VII here

for modern medicine to do what the old cannot.

I know this one.

As soon as you bring the king,

you two will travel to 1832 with a double of the king.

Dr. Castelló, an agent of the Ministry, will wait for you.

And you will hold there until Fernando VII

recover his health here and can return to the past.

One moment, a double? A double of the king.

-Where are we going to get a double? -That we have resolved.

I know to whom he looks like, of course,

This is Manolo, the guy who sells lottery in "Acacias 38".

-Oops, but how many series are being filmed at the same time?

-You could not imagine. -How it shows that we live

a new golden age of television.

-That's what they say.

-And what are they? Chañas?

-Requetés. -Reque what?

-I think history is not your thing..

-Well, no, but I learn quickly.

Hey, when do you get me a copy of the script,

am I looking forward to read it?

(VIBRATES)

-So I don't have to say anything? But nothing, nothing?

-Not a word.

You see, you will play Fernando VII

during a serious crisis and health.

Basically what you have to do is lie down and unconscious.

-Have you brought me here to act as a helper without a sentence?

I don't get it, you came to see my monologues.

-Yes, and you didn't stop talking. No, sorry, no,

what i mean is it was

in those little moments of silence

when I realized how great an actor you are.

-Well, yes, it is that...

sometimes, silences says more than words can.

-For sure.

Furthermore, he is an exalted actor. Come on, the interpretation he makes

Manolo the lottery man in "Acacias 38",

I have not laughed more in my life.

But if he was a dramatic character,

haunted by the loss of her son.

-Let's see, comedy, drama,

what he means is that your interpretation

is a spring of truth. -And we want truth.

True. True.

-Thank you.

Well, what is the series about?

-Well, we are preparing a new television format,

a historical reality show.

-Have you called me to do a historical reality show?

- Yes, but it is not the same, it is historical.

-Historical. Historical.

-The only thing left to do in reality.

-I see.

And are they going to be filming all the time?

Because, of course, that's another price.

-Not all the time, when you are alone, for example...

Pacino and Alonso will serve as liaison with production

and they will tell you when it is filmed or not.

So?

Do we sign the contract?

Come on...

Perfect, come on, let's go to the locker room.

Pacino, a photo with Mr. Cucalón.

If you don't even have FB. It's for my little girl.

-If you she is one year old. -Never mind.

If you do not mind.

No, we are very professional here.

Castelló, everything arranged.

Yes, the "Treacherous" operation starts in three, two, one...

We are already here. How are you, Castelló?

Hurry, the queen can come at any time.

Before she didn't want to see him and now there is the sea of ​​affection.

-Slowly. "Cupboard love"

Let's see, come on, one, two and three... At the same time.

Already. One, two and three.

Damn, how heavy is the uric acid.

I go in first.

Now... One foot... oops!

Hold me, hold me. I have it.

I have it.

Watch out. Let's go.

Watch out. The step, Ernesto.

Let's go. Do you have him?

Let's go there.

There is.

Quickly, lets go. Ready? Let's go.

Let's go.

Faster Faster.

We're.

-Ah, no, you can't take that man's purse, sorry.

-I only carry my cell phone and tobacco.

They are the rules, Mr. Cucalón..

Excuse me.

Watch out.

Let's go.

-Are also also filming a TV show about hospitals?

- Apparently they are very successful. Yes, I do attest.

It's not fair, you guys have a nice outfit and me,

Instead of a king, I look like the ghost of Christmas.

A king is a king, dressed or naked.

-And you know what they say: sick character, award for sure.

-Hey, why are there so many doors?

-Each one goes to a set. -Oh, wowl.

Well, this is it.

Anyway, let the show begin.

Jeez, what a tightness.

Mr. Cucalón, it is Pedro Castelló, your personal doctor.

For the "Constitution of Cádiz"!

It is the living image of the king. -Castelló...

Have I been able to see you in a movie?

- No, I am more of theater.

-Fuck male, wow, it looks like a real palace.

Fuck!

I should have asked for more money.

Moo, moo! -But what is it?

Did you bring a pacifier?

-This cleanses the vocal cords wonderfully.

Well then, my girl has to have the vocal cords

like a whistle. Please... Bring that.

Here, go to bed, come on. Go.

-Uf... -What?

-It smells like garlic, pall.

And the sheets are sweaty. Can't we change them?

-No, realism is super important in this production.

Let's go. -The rest of the actors are coming.

Well, as the artists say: a lot of shit.

Never better said. (KNOCKING)

Majesty.

I present to you...

Jesús Méndez Pontón,

of the Royal College of Medical Surgery of San Carlos.

He is a gouty arthritis specialist.

-I thought you were the best doctor in this country.

-A second opinion never hurts.

-Don't uncover yourselves, you're going to get cold.

(MOANS)

It had been days without hardly moving.

-It seems that my presence alone has improved him.

-And Alonso de Entrerríos. That will ensure his security.

"Never leave the king alone.

And check whoever enters or leaves these rooms.

So I will, Your Majesty. He will if I order him to.

The royal guard I choose personally.

If the queen orders, I obey.

Same as you.

(MOANS)

A fly.

Common.

They transmit many diseases.

-I thought he wouldn't survive one night, I don't know what could have gone wrong.

-You know what never fails? Weapons.

-Don't rush.

The people love Fernando and if they see that he dies naturally,

They will accept you as his successor instead of the girl.

But if they have news that you are reachinf the throne by force,

bad business.

-Why?

-Because you would make Fernando a martyr.

And the Spanish people swallow anything,

but give them a martyr to fight for and they go crazy.

May God save us from madmen.

(PSST)

-Are we filming? -No.

-And how did you see me?

-The moaning thing is a little too much, eh?

-Well, the scene was driving me

to a more physical level of performance.

-Well, see if it takes you to something physica,l but inside.

-Hey, the other actors were great, huh?

And I don't know anyone.

I hadn't seen that level of naturalness in a long time.

And no one is familiar to me.

-Well, the casting was done by Luis San Narciso.

-Fuck...

I hope the cameras have captured my performance well.

Where are they?

-And there are others out there well distributed... But what do you do?

Where are you going? -I'm pissing.

-Get the potty under there.

-Fuck...

Wow!

Wow!

Hey, weren't we going too realistically?

This soup is even tripping up.

-You have to take care of every last detail.

-Fuck, okay, okay.

(PEEING)

What is capable of doing an actor for a role.

How are things going in the palace? Slowly.

I'm developing a security guard complex.

Does someone always have to be here watching?

Boss orders. Go home, I will relieve you.

Oh, thanks.

Because it's more depressing that a Sunday afternoon.

Italian neorealism compared with this

is like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

Do we know anything about Julián? No.

Voicemail is always on.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

-Renal parameters have improved thanks to dialysis.

But so should his level of consciousness.

-Well, we need you to get him back as soon as possible.

-I know.

(BEEPS)

Something is wrong.

Heart has stopped.

Quick, resuscitation equipment!

Quick!

-Do something, please. - Get away, please.

Quick, load it. Come on, hurry up.

Move back.

And Cucalón, continues sleeping? Yes, he is there with Castelló.

OMG I don't know how that man can sleep there

with that stinky sheets.

I have slept in some places that... You?

Yes... You like your "viscolastic" mattress a lot.

You have modernized yourself, partner. Yes, and not only in that.

What happens? Are you already a pro in social networks?

I'll go to hell before that. The...

No, no, no.

What happens is that the old Alonso, from before

I would never have questioned the king.

I'm having hard time respecting this king

because he kills people who helped him win a war

that he did not want to fight.

In the end, you become a Republican. No, never that!

No, but it costs, it costs to forgive certain...

I would have liked you to meet the Empecinado.

That was a soldier, a hero.

A real soldier...

And you?

And me?

Me what?

With me there is no need to hide.

I know what it hurts to lose a loved one.

Then you will know that the first day is horrible.

The following are even worse.

Exact.

I turn on the TV, they broadcast the same news,

I'd like to discuss them with her, but she's not here.

Or I put on a movie.

I think about what she would laugh with her, but she's not there.

But hey, I close my eyes and stay with her until I wake up.

They say that time heals everything. No.

What time does is increase memories.

Well then, perfect, mate,

because I will never forget her.

More? -A little bit, we're in a hurry.

-But Mr. Minister, with the dose you already have,

if we add one more drop, he will go away in a breath.

-That's the idea. "But what if the king notices something strange?"

My porridge has a flavor structure with a zucchini dot

and onion that give it a special aftertaste.

-Nonsenses, we are poisoning him,

not participating in a cooking contest.

-Well, let me at least balance it with a pinch of cinnamon

or perhaps a subtle touch of cocoa.

-Come on, leave it.

Royal breakfast is ready.

(SIGHS)

Leave that there.

Come here, come.

How did the night pass?

-so so

As they say in my town.

-That is, without incident, Your Majesty.

It does not evolve.

But it doesn't get worse either. -Neither.

-You make a strange couple.

May I ask how you met?

-Of course.

Mr. Pontoon is a student of mine.

-Another liberal.

So so.

How ironic.

An enemy of the king watching over him

While his closest friends are wishing for him to die

so he can't change what he signed.

-There are loyalties that go beyond ideology, madam.

And the greatest loyalty I have is with my profession.

Come on, take the tray and go inside.

King's breakfast.

-Majesty, time for some nutritious porridge.

-You can go.

Today I will be the one to feed my husband.

Leave.

-Let's go, doctor,

Here everyone must know where is their places and how to behave.

(HE COMPLAINS)

-Fernando... -Mmm...

-I'm going to speak to you from the heart.

I'm sorry I pressured you to sign the decree

that separated our daughter from the crown.

But I was scared.

And not because of me, huh?

But for her. (MOAN)

-Ernesto...

-What a devoted wife. -Ernesto!

-Sorry. -That from the queen is not love,

It's panic because she sees that her good deal is running away.

-I'm worried about the girl.

-Oh, Ernesto, that we are not watching a series, that this is real.

As it don't change and Carlos reigns,

We have a future darker than a cricket's ass.

But now I am not afraid.

Because whoever is about to lose everything, cannot have it.

So I pray, I pray more than ever that you will recover.

I can't take it anymore

This is "Kassandra" but in vintage clothing.

What will become of our daughters if Carlos ascends to the throne?

(MAKES NOISES)

This you touch is my tears, husband.

The tears of a mother's pain for her daughter.

(TRY TO TALK)

No!

Look, look!

-What happens now? -Come here!

"-Higher, Fernando, please."

-I love you.

He loves her.

-And me, and me.

But but! What is that man doing?

-Doc, now that I would be his disciple, tell me,

How does an enemy of the king become his chamber doctor?

- Years ago, I was imprisoned for my liberal ideas.

But in the king he had a gout attack

and nobody was right with the treatment.

The man was dying.

-And they called you to save him.

And why did you stay here to work?

-Luckily, from this position, I have been able to influence

so that many progressives can keep their heads.

-And how do you avoid temptation...? -To terminate him.

- I confess that, sometimes, is dificult not to.

(PHONE)

-Watch out, what...

Good morning, boss. -Not that good.

Fernando VII does not improve.

Tonight, He almost die during a crisis.

-Oh my God.

So Juanjo stays here, right? -Correct, but pull the leash,

because he is starting to skip the script.

But there is no script, He don't have to say anything.

- That is the bad thing, that he speaks.

-Don't worry, boss,

that right now I give you some director notes.

-What the hell is wrong with everyone?

-What happen?

-Pacino, who now wants to give him "director notes".

-Well, give it to them quickly or this 'thematic' will changervery soon.

-Oh!

I'm going to the infirmary, to see if the king improves.

And we came out of this embarrassing spectacle;

and incidentally, they can measure my blood preasure.

(BEEPS)

(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)

Doctor, we need him to improve. -More I can't do, I assure you.

-What I don't understand is how he is still alive.

-The devil looks after his own.

(PHONE)

Sorry.

Yes?

Well, Julian! We finally know about you.

Sorry, boss.

Sorry? Really?.

You have an obligation to tell us where you are and,

above all, why you are not here.

This looks like a kindergarden.

Yes, you are right, Salvador, bu I have gone tovisit my family,

My mother is not ok and I have decided to stay with her.

Sorry I didn't call before. Sure.

Do not worry.

Sometimes this Ministry makes us forget the most important thing.

If you need anything, call.

Thank you.

My love,

someday you will sit on the throne, I promise you.

-Majesty, what will you do with them when your brother

rest in peace?

-I don't care much about their future.

I only care about one thing, Calomarde:

Spain.

There are so many things to change...

-More than I would have ever thought, ruling your brother.

-My brother...

He has become a hack capable of agreeing

with the devil in order to continue on the throne.

He restored the Inquisition that abolished the Cortes de Cádiz,

but when Riego uprised, he was afraid and he abolished it again.

-And nine years have passed since then.

-When I am king, it will be the first thing I do:

restore the inquisition

that so much peace and so much glory have left in this kingdom.

Spain is sick,

he has lost his faith and morals because of some liberals

who want to divide this kingdom that Fernando and Isabel forged,

Carlos and Felipe.

-Such a times, when we owned the world.

-Those times will return.

Glorifying our past is our best future.

-God, fatherland and king.

-God, homeland...

and me.

-But you can't speak, how can I tell you? Not!

-But I only said a little phrase. Not even one!

Here, here it smells like tobacco.

-I was alone, recording was off.

-Cervantes already said: each actor is as God made him

and even worse many times.

-Don't open, it is cold as hell.

-Lump it! Is pretty easy:

stick to the script and period. -But if there is no script!

And that's where an actor must show his greatness.

Shakespeare already wrote it:

"If they prick us, don't we bleed?

If they tickle us, don't we laugh?

If they poison us, don't we die...? "

Ah!

Ah, ah, ah!

"And that is fromt Shakespeare?" Or from Marx Brothers?

-Ah, ah!

Ah!

-Inflamed tongue.

-Ah, ah...

-Dilated pupil.

He has the same symptoms that the king had at the beginning of his illness.

Then we have to take you out of here. No no no!

The show must go on.

Also, I need the money, pal.

This profession is very damn. You fail once and they don't call you anymore.

- "If they poison us, do we not die"?

Doctor, I have to ask you for a favor.

-Ah...

On top, Castelló could not find his vein.

-Doctor, please,

analyze the blood and compare it with that of Fernando VII.

No wonder dialysis didn't work. -Don't justify yourself, boss.

If Legazpi's blackwidow taught me anything

is that poisons are very nasty.

-Yes, it is that they are not detectable unless you search expressly.

And it is what we are going to do just now.

-And another thing, doctor, when Fernando heals,

he should never know that this is the Ministry of Time.

Never.

-Yes sir.

- But not all the kings know about the Ministry?

-His father knew it and his wife will also know it.

Besides, Espartero was our agent, but he never knew it.

-How comet?

-Because he would have used it for his own benefit

or would have annihilated it.

His obsession with closing Spain

to any foreign influence it was unhealthy.

After the Congress of Vienna in 1814, after the defeat of Napoleon,

Spain did not obtain any benefit

because his majesty decided to close borders.

-I'm going to have to study more to understand everything.

-Good work, Pacino. -I will...

(CONSTANT BEEPING)

Is it the king's food?

Last time, it was lacking salt.

And that can't be

or we will have to kick you out of "MasterChef".

Let's see, let's see, let's see if we try the soup.

Let's see, let's try it, yes, don't you want to try it?

Why? Because is poisoned, right?

Confess, you fool.

A little bit of soup.

The mouth, open the mouth.

The mouth, fuck.

-Please, I'm just a poor cook.

Who was it? Minister Calomarde forced me.

Ah, Calomarde!

See how it wasn't so difficult?

By the way!

Nothing has occurred here.

Because if not, our next visit

will be more indigestible.

You have to be a character, become the character.

-He is raving, he is close to the end.

(NOISE)

(COUGH)

Can you come out?

The patient has to rest, if they you are so kind.

-Resist, Fernando, for your daughters.

Gentlemen, it is confirmed: acute poisoning with arsenic.

Instead, the king has been progressively poisoned

with reduced doses. Bastards.

I bring the antidote: dimelcrapol.

I will administer it for you.

Well then, can I just kill them all now?

No, there is a change of plans.

Now it's about Cucalón coming back to life normally,

Get him out of bed and start talking.

Drive the poisoners crazy. Cucalón unleashed?

I don't know if it will drive them crazy, but us...

-Come on like a little more, go ahead.

Like this.

-Pal... -What?

-A lot of curtain and a lot of jacket,

but catering is very weak in this production.

They could already put a little joy to the rice.

-The doctor has said soft diet.

-Yeah... -Of course.

But hey, don't be anxious, you can move now,

you can speak now.

Yesterday you were beyond recovery. -You can go.

-Action.

-Good morning, Fernando.

How blessed it makes me see you so recovered.

-It would be better if instead of rice they brought me roasted lamb.

-How funny you are.

- it seems that it had recovered the humor. (LAUGHS)

-Doctor...

Give us a little privacy, please.

As you say, I can already speak, move and give orders.

"Please.

Please go out."

-Excuse me.

-Fernando, I've been thinking.

It is sad that we have begun to treat each other with respect

when it was almost too late.

-Only the consciousness of death drives us to live more.

-So beautiful.

Garcilaso?

-Paulo Coelho.

-I thought maybe you would be glad to see your daughter.

Came in!

-Oops! But who comes around?

But what little thing?

Oops oops!

Oops oops oops

Oh, how precious is my Isabelita!

-You mean Luisa Fernanda.

-Her Highness Isabel is playing in the gardens.

-Oh, of course, I still have a little cloudy mind.

"But my Luisa Fernanda is beautiful..."

I don't know if we got it right by letting him speak.

"How big is Luisa Fernanda already".

As time goes.

-Do you love your daughters?

-But how can I not love them? If they are blood of my blood.

-Then, you must amend what you signed,

my love.

For the good of Spain and your daughter Isabel.

-Of course, of course, whenever you want.

Because before king...

"I am a father".

-It's great.

- Now I am sure, that was a mistalke.

Yes, sir, first season you "Love in royal times".

If he start to sign he will flood Spain with roundabouts

before the car is invented.

-I will monitor the documents that arrive at the National Library since 1832.

-Yes.

Ah...

Yes, I go there immediately.

Fernando VII has recovered,

I am going to tell him off before he returns to his time.

And you two, rest.

Angustias will relieve them. Yes sir.

Go, go.

-It is rumored that my brother, far from dying,

it has dawned in better color.

It must be that ephemeral flash before the final darkness.

-I would not be so sure.

-Holy God in heaven!

-You asked me for patience.

I'm sorry to tell you it's over.

-Finally some fresh air.

And now that there are no cameras, you've been fantastic in there.

How true, you are a wonderful actress.

-You rave again.

-Oh! Are you also filming outdoors?

Do not suffer, my queen,

my only delusions are those of love.

... with the summer cinema stands.

-Oh!

Where have they brought me? And what are these odds and ends?

-Doctor, leave us alone.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that."

-And close the door, please.

Have you heard of Purgatory?

That is where you are.

-I guess they brought me here to purge my sins

before the ascension of my soul.

-It would be necessary to multiply by two the eternity

to give you time to purge them.

-You lie.

-You ran away leaving your people alone

when the French invaded us.

The same people that won a war and called you to return.

And you, what did you do?

Bring the 100,000 children of San Luis.

-Spain had to be cleaned. -From whom?

From Jovellanos, your best brain?

Or from Goya, your best painter?

They had to go into exile,

but there were others who suffered worse luck like the Empecinado

or Torrijos.

-They wanted to attack me.

-Sure.

No one can atone for their sins if they do not repent of them.

-Wait.

Tell me what I have to do.

-For being king,

We are only going to ask you for one thing.

-Whatever.

-When you come back,

make sure your daughter Elizabeth succeeds you.

You only have one year to live.

For once, do something for the good of Spain, Your Majesty.

-Do I arrange everything for you to sign tomorrow?

-eh, eh, Maria Cristina wants to rule me.

Sorry, sorry, this joke is from a later time.

-I don't know what you want to tell me.

-Nothing, nothing, nonsense, a trifle.

It came to my mind and I released it.

- Will you sign?

-If I have to sign, it is signed.

-If you sacrifice yourself facing everyone signing,

I sacrifice myself giving you what I haven't given you for so long.

-And that pad, what is it for? To go to the beach?

-Oh!

You don't even remember, poor me.

Oops!

Oops...

Oops oops oops...

Oops!

-Stop stop Stop.

Let's see, what time do they broadcast this?

Because if they do repetitions in children's hours...

-Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but shut up and enjoy.

-No, no, no, no.

What is it that I'm weak, man, that I'm not...

And why not?

What the fuck!

Didn't they want realism?

Well, they will have realism.

The king of "quilting" will call me.

-Wait, wait, the pad!

-What about that fucking pad!

-Oh!

Is your member normal? -Hey hey!

That nobody has ever complained to me.

(MOANS)

(WAILING)

(DOOR)

-It's all settled. -Im not that sure.

(WAILING)

-What the hell.

-You can't stop looking at it, it's addictive.

Live life.

If I was you, I would sell the format.

We will end the budget problems.

(GIME)

(WAILING)

What, how is the artist doing?

The boss told me he's screwing her up.

(WAILING)

"Sensu stricto".

(MOANS)

OMG the queen is going to find out.

With what I am hearing, she has discovered everything.

You enter. No, no, you come on in.

-You are a doctor.

-For what? The damage is already done.

King Ferdinand cannot copulate like the rest of men.

(THE QUEEN GIME)

-This is the end. -Well for them, it seems not.

It seems to me that the boss is referring to the end of the mission.

-The queen has realized that Cucalón is not Fernando VII.

-Why?

-The king has a malformation in his member.

(MOANS)

-A malformation how?

-It's huge. -How huge?

-Huge.

So much that you have to copulate with a pad,

as a kind of lifesaver of today.

Shall I draw them a picture?

-Use a pad to avoid destroying the queen,

who is his four wife.

That is why it took so long to have offspring.

(MOANS)

(SHRIEKING)

(WAILING)

- Is it clear to you?

-Holy Inquisition.

Wow, unbelievable.

Well, if she has discovered him, she does not care, because she is still there,

Non stopping.

(MOANS)

(GASPS)

- I do not know what remedy they have given the king, but it has been blessed glory.

-His mother did a very good job.

Than? Well there... huh?

Is that... Who the hell think of lying with the queen?

Well, I don't understand why you get like this.

-The "under-the-blankets" brings the most audience in reality.

-You mother did a very good job with you

Soldiers are coming.

Soldiers? Yes, soldiers.

And I don't think they will come help us. Soldiers, how many?

At least one regiment.

Wasn't the thing about the soldiers in the script?

It's just that you can't trust a civilian, it's like that.

Well you were a fan, huh? Juanjo Cucalón!

Of course, and I admire him as an artist,

but not to defend Spain.

Well plan B.

-Hey, hey, those weapons are not from this era.

-I know, but they are more effective.

You made a big one, Cucalón.

Stand back.

Stand back.

Open up.

Stop!

Treason to the king means death penalty.

That.

-The only betrayal has been committed by the queen

and the doctor covering up my brother's death

and resorting to an impostor.

-It's not worth it that you lose your lives for someone

who is not the king.

Surrender.

-Prove that he is an impostor.

-Okay, we'll show it.

-Nude him.

Let him show his parts. -What are you saying?

-The entire palace has heard your night of love.

If you are not an impostor, you have nothing to hide.

-A king never has anything to hide.

-White hands do not offend, madam.

-Possibly,

but a banishment for life in Teruel may offend him more.

-What a slap.

-According to the story, the queen's sister gave it.

But we are not going to go in a mission for that, right?

-And what happened to Carlos María?

-He was exiled in Portugal

and that was the beginning of the Carlist wars.

- As cruel as the most.

Maybe if we hadn't done anything, they wouldn't have existed.

-There would have been other wars, history is what it is.

-Do you believe that the king will sign that his daughter be her heir?

-He will sign, Angustias.

Will sign.

Is Castelló winking at us?

What a great man.

And very brave.

And handsome.

-At least, my conversation with the king has served for something.

-What did he say?

-I must be discreet, a king is always a king.

How was the experience?

-Is that really Fernando VII?

Hey, hey, those weapons are not from this era.

- Yes, but they are more effective.

You made a big one, Cucalón...

(DOOR)

Hurry, over here.

Quickly, please.

-And who the hell is he?

-I am Fernando VII, King of Spain.

-Yeah, and I, Antonio Banderas, what the fuck...

Juanjo, please, over here.

Quickly, lets go.

Come on.

Señor Cucalón, what are you thinking?

-That he's hooked up with the queen and can't count it.

-Actually no.

Well, a little yes.

But what I really think about is the number of times I've presented myself

at the casting for kingly roles and they never choose me.

And it turns out that I'm the only actor in the world

who has truly been the king.

For a couple of days.

Well enough, no one can take that from me anymore.

Well said. They have done a good job.

Now go to rest. Very good.

Yes sir.

Do you know anything about Julián?

-I have given him a few days off to go with his family.

Her mother is in poor health.

What are you doing here?

I missed you.

(SIGHS)

No one understands you, but if not two hours have passed

since I have left home.

Only?

Yes.

Well, it's been forever.

Come on, let me finish, see you in a bit.

There are people who should not be allowed to have children.

-What is that? -Well, the truth, no idea.

-They are already here.

-Does a lot of people work here?

-We have had better times.

-You are in the Ministry of Time.

-Are you a meteorologist?

You are crazy.

-And you

You just has discovered the corpse of a boy of just a year.

-How do you know? -It was me who killed him.

It all started just six months ago.

When we realized

that one of our best agents,

Julián Martínez, had been kidnapped.

We look for him insistently,

but we couldn't even imagine where it was.

Hello?

Is there someone?

Where the hell am I?

In the year 2070.

Welcome to the future, Julián.

One of his best agents was kidnapped six months ago.

I have just been informed about him and the only thing that consists

It is a complaint of disappearance eight years ago.

-If they hadn't kidnapped Julián,

No child would have appeared buried next to the Ministry.

Who you are?

If we doubt just one of us, then we don't deserve to be here.

Do we not realize how far the hell

are we getting into this fucking ministry?

We always believed that we were the last Ministry,

that later there would be none more.

We are wrong.