Original subtitles

Thanks.

100 g of saint-nectaire, 100 g of chaumes.

It is thursday.

Ah, excuse me...

And now, the whole phrase. It's with you.

I love you.

Your mouth.

I love you !

Who are you ?

Who are you ?

I love you !

Who are you ?

I am the courier.

I'm waiting for my receipt. I haven't seen anything, I swear.

I've even forgotton your name already.

Victor Meynard !

It's not held like that.

Eh?

Especially not like that.

Too low. Sorry ?

The knife... not like that.

By stabbing someone you'll hurt yourself.

If you'll allow me please?

Like this.

There. While carrying the weight of the body towards the front.

Like butter.

I propose a six week formation training course including:

Shooting with live ammunition, knives, handling explosives,

17 methods of strangulation and neutral poisonings

Alas, you cannot socialise.

But you will be housed, fed, milled and...

you'll get 3 Orange zone tickets.

If you perform well,

You'll be given your 1st contract under my supervision.

If the last test is successful, I urge you.

For 14 years after which...

i'll give you my place, my materials and my clients.

Our debriefs will be frank. My attitude will be severe, but...

on occasion, there'll be a certain affection.

We are late.

Where are we going ? A retirement home.

To kill one of the old men ? It's more complicated than that.

The men who have stayed a long time

become their mothers, to a degree, pederasts.

Victor,

Are you a pederast to a degree?

I will not wait.

Take a cake.

They changed the canteen. The cook

and the chimney. I do not like cakes.

I must go.

I received your postcard of Japan with the article.

Fourty metres in the street with a silencer...

It's skilful.

Your father would've been proud of you.

Thank you. I'll be back next thursday.

For your birthday.

I don't know if i'll see you before then.

They're all there.

From start... to finish.

Thank you, mum.

I knitted gloves for the winter.

Bye mum.

Me too, I bought you a present.

I don't like animals. It's a parrot.

His name's Roger. Roger the parrot.

He's very affectionate.

I love you!

You see? Bye mum.

I love you!

Goodbye Mr

They are happy.

The cook had an accident. What ?

He was found in the cold room.

Keep your paper. Thanks.

A petit-four ? Just one.

It's the last one. You have it.

The last ? Impossible !

Please. If you insist.

The last, it's the best

I'll sort you out, i've got more money.

Let's say 900,000.

900,000. I can't. It's that or i keep it!

You want...

I'll keep it.

Good... don't get angry, I just wanted to try.

Perfect. Absolutely authentic.

Perfect, miss.

Barnab�, the briefcase.

Here, 800 000.

Let's say 900 000.

Let's say 800 000. 900 000.

800 000.

900 000.

800. 900.

800. 900.

8.

9.

OK, 900 000.

900 000 or i keep it.

What?

Good, go !

You wanted... Miss...

I said OK, 900 000. Leave me this painting.

A Million.

What did she say ? She's crazy ?

If it's like that...

I'll keep it !

Miss... I am not a gangster.

But i've worked for 10 years in real estate, I'm ready for anything.

Prepare yourself for disappointment. Barnab�, Manu...

Bring me the picture. Don't get angry.

I just wanted to try.

Barnab�.

Manu,

follow her. Get some more info on her.

My little Pierrot ! Even without you, I would've bought it.

You know why Mr Microscope ?

Sense of smell.

You've got a smudge on your nose.

It's a fake... A fake.

It's a fake!

And of course, more importantly.

If you study ochres closely... You, your mouth.

What do we do? What do we do?

Find me a telephone.

Rule number 1: I do not know my boss, he doesn't know me.

Rule number 2: I change place every day.

Rule number 3:

I especially don't forget to reserve my cabin.

And Rule number 4: I always arrive in the rush hour.

That's sound.

Go ahead, pick it up.

Here, young man. Our first job.

3 more copies. Why all these forgeries ?

Lastly, G�rard ! Why do i involve myself ?

Don't push your luck

What can happen ?

Marie-Jeanne, What are you doing ?

Well?

It's never happened to me, I've never failed !

Where did she go ? She went that way.

Shes's a thief.

She steals everything ! It's a shame.

Madam, hello. 2 under 20 tickets.

Tickets, change.

Thanks. It's nothing.

Mr. Meynard, She's turned up ! Over there.

Good night. Night.

If you need anything just call me.

I'm at your service.

How much do you weigh?

When the aim is right, the head doesn't explode.

How does the aim affect whether, it explodes or not ?

I think you bring me bad luck. I should've killed you.

I sensed that.

We'll sleep here, I will do it tomorrow morning.

If I miss her tomorrow, I'll shoot you.

To see if i've got my luck back.

There's an easterly wind tonight.

Be careful

Do you have vertigo ?

It happens sometimes, yes.

It's not lucky for your job.

You play chess ?

What about the horse?

Two squares forward, one to the side.

Check... checkmate.

This button to unroll, this one to rewind.

Here.

By pressing on the spine with the knee.

45 seconds of pressure.

That's the signal.

It's swiss

Don't be afraid, we train at home with a raw leg of lamb.

You stayed like that...

all night ?

You were wrong, Victor.

Listen... I won't listen to a thing !

I want you to have a wife and two children.

But first, regain the trust of your employers!

At the moment, you're out of the race.

They've already had to use someone better than you.

And younger.

What do you advise me to do?

Fill in your contract. For nothing, free.

Kill her and dispose of the body for the money already paid.

The keys! Quickly, the keys!

What do I do? Start!

Go, Go! Start, Start!

Reverse!

Don't move! Don't move!

Barnab� ! Barnab� ! Barnab�, in the name of God!

You've met?

Outside! Both of you!

I knew that i could do it.

It's a business, young man.

Oh l� l�...

Did that hurt? You were told to wait outside.

I saw him enter through the exit.

What's happened? She's fainted.

You didn't kill?

I didn't. I missed.

From 1 metre ? 1,50 metre.

What do i do?

Look closer. I didn't kill him.

Left hand under the wrist.

I can't.

Don't aim at the man but a point on the man.

At the pimp, the cover on the heart.

At the shady politician, the knot of the tie is on...

on what? There's more.

The tracheal artery. I think i'm going to be sick.

On the henchman, the grease stain on the left lung.

and on the genitals of individuals.

I can't.

It's not difficult!

Feet, hop ! Hand, hop ! Wrist, hop, hop !

If there's time, you can relax. I've got time. I can relax..

I block my breathing, I don't breathe with the gun.

What are you doing?

I'm threatening. Are you going to kill him?

Absolutely not. If he wanted to kill me...

We'll eat some ice-cream?

Yes... Forget everything you just saw.

When everyone is killed, we can start from solid foundations.

OK. Start with this one

What? He saw us.

It's easy, he's already half knocked.

And me, I'm going down fast.

Mr...

Yes?

I think someone's trying to kill me.

I need to piss. Yes, of course.

You have one to finish.

From left to right. Take support on the chin. Like a compass.

If you don't kill yours, I won't kill mine.

But i'm going to kill. Get started.

Can you pass me a Kleenex?

You remind me of my uncle.

Except that he had a club-foot and no moustache.

You can't kill me for it, it's not serious.

People are so sensitive!

Well, we'll go.

You finished ? Yes... yes, yes.

You've taken his boots? Yes. He doesn't need them.

Where are you going?

Help me. I need protection!

You know how to shoot. You've got a battery in your ear.

I can pay you.

I'll give you an advance. Mr !

Mr ! Is she following us?

I think so. But she'll stop, no ?

Will you leave me in a dark carpark?

You don't have the head for that.

Why me ? I am very badly placed to protect you.

You are calm and reassuring like a weeping willow.

20 000. 30 000.

I'd need more.

I'm a private detective, not a bodyguard.

That still exists?

Of course. There in the Yellow Pages.

I am his assistant. I saved you.

Yes. Shut up.

What were you doing there? I was watching the client's wife.

She takes men in her car.

You took photos ? That doesn't look like you.

25 000, It's enough for a week.

Yes, it's true.

Shut up!

The weeping willow is nervous.

30 000. I am not a carpet merchant.

OK, 30 000. You protect me day and night.

The other half at the end.

The mania people have !

Get down !

Reverse! Quick, quick!

Accelerate, on the gas. Go ! No i won't.

Good... Third on the right after the parking.

Where are we going? To a small discreet hotel.

"Small discreet hotel." Thanks. It'll be expensive to me.

They'll look in shady hotels.

They won't look for us here.

You got 3 rooms?

Of course. What name ?

Morand... Moray et...

Morin.

We'll take one room. Excuse me.

I can't sleep with anyone.

Your life doesn't have to be extravagent.

One bedroom. One moment.

I ensure you that... Who's paying?

One second!

Settle this in room 322. Bertrand !

It's one of the cheapest.

You don't have it? And her, doesn't have?

You're sure?

I don't do anthing randomly. No danger.

Mr director. Hello. Did you see Manu ?

No. Where is he?

Well done, for your discretion

What now?

3 adults in the same room of a deluxe hotel!

Where a kid makes a crisis

for 300 euros of Lego. Well done !

And? They saw us!

And ? But how?

And ?

When we have killer's on the case, we hide.

We don't scream in the reception.

One is discreet. But of course, you can't be.

Which side do you sleep on? I don't sleep.

I watch!

And I ask you in the future to respect my space.

This is my space.

I promise. And don't speak to me in that tone.

You were less proud in the carpark.

Smelling a corpse.

It's not me who asked.

I didn't beg you.

For 30,000 a week,

it's begging.

After just 3 hours,

it would take me 3 days to list what I don't like about you.

I'm sorry, I was...

unpleasant and... offensive, but i'm not like that.

No, it's my fault. I was agressive and provoking.

I am like that. No. No, no.

You're nice. Yes ? When ?

I can't hink of a specific time, but...

You see?

Now.

Now, you are nice. It's true...

You're not listening to me.

What did you say?

I said you were nice for 7 or 8 seconds.

You don't listen to me, you look at the barman.

Yes.

That annoys you?

Yes. Why ?

Because i like him? Not at all.

You like him?

You're not listening to me.

You're the barman type, the waiter...

I don't mind. In fact, I don't give a shit !

You don't have any tact.

It's normal, the gay ones are delicate.

A triple whisky, a cognac, a vodka,

a Picon-bi�re, 2 kirs and some peanuts. And a bowl.

How much do you weigh?

Ah, Manu, Manu...

Basically, you're the only genuine one. You're a real cunt.

It's not my fault. It's mine?

It's you that wanted to settle this with Barnab�.

Result: I have a very pathetic bodyguard, the most pathetic.

Stop shaking, I won't hit you!

Tonight...

I am more sad and upset.

Are you sad too ? Yes.

I don't like to see sad paople.

Go to the bathroom.

She's wary, it's not easy to find. Hey!

I got the wrong room. Please.

I have to take care of this business personally.

Who's going first ?

There are a few excellent forgers here.

I'll ask one randomly. You called me before.

They tried to regulate it, but... I see.

Go buy me some cigaretteS and some nuts.

You need anything? No.

So. Put some money in the parking meter.

An Alfa Rom�o. Grey anthracite.

Well, go on.

Good ! The first... the first person i committed

seems to protect the girl. He killed one of my men.

He should be... too.

Descirbe him. Manu !

Describe the one in the carpark.

Average size, average weight, average build.

Moustache.

Victor Meynard...

You know where he is?

Nobody has ever seen him, not even his clients.

He's of the old school.

In the profession we are... How do I put it ?

The two most expensive.

No. He is a little bit more expensive than you.

Finally, we'll know if it's worth it.

Commandander ! I can do anything!

Play mechanic.

We're sinking ! Linda ! I love you, Linda.

I love you. Adieu.

I am going to speak ! I didn't ask you.

Why are you doing that?

For my amusement.

I will kill you. And the other two.

There is nothing worse than to be drowned.

No ! I don't want to hurt you.

I want to kill you, flat.

Freeze! Take off your clothes!

Take off your clothes!! Pass the gun.

Look at me...

You'll die of fear.

You're trembling like a leaf.

Just a gesture that sorts everything.

Stop!

Watch it, i've got a bad aim.

I can hit a testicle by aiming at the head.

You tried to drown me. Disgusting!

Calm down. Breath...

I am calm !

I didn't do it on purpose.

I didn't do it on purpose, huh, I...

Try to find... your ear.

If you put it on ice, they can sew it back on.

There's ice in the bar for your ear.

M. Meynard !

We've got to leave ! He wants to kill me !

The one with a gun!

Quick, he almost got me!

Not even time to pick a dressing gown!

My croissant! Ignore it.

My ear, fuck!

In the ice!

The report's there.

Go.

The con men and the killer fled!

He shot my ear! Where ?

There!

Fuck, my car !

Oh, shit !

I know another hotel.

We'll go to your place. Out of the question.

I don't want to.

And me, do i want to? They are following us!

Accelerate. Quickly!

"Quickly!" Connard, I am not driving quickly!

Give me the pedals.

I'll slip under you, take my place.

get out the way. You're blocking my view !

It's the only choice i've got.

Don't mind me. You too.

Doumas ! A buggy!

Charge ! I'm bigger than her.

I think we lost them. Sure?

I think!

No. Wipe your feet before you enter.

Spooky. Was it an easy job?

It was for me. Satisfied?

It's big. You make your customers sing?

It was my grandfather's, my father's, and then mine.

You're room is the best.

I'm paid to protect, no to carry.

Little cunt!

It's a woman's room. My mother's.

Everything's in plastic!

The tops shouldn't bother you.

We eat at 7.30.

It's no true, that...

What's the day? Wednesday.

If you're going with the roast i'll take the "Friday".

We don't risk anything. I'll remind of a few rules.

Don't leave the house.

Put some salt in the middle, please.

No contact with the outside, no calls to the outside.

Wine too, in the middle.

I wish you bon app�tit.

Practice. Where did you get it?

My mother's gift. You want...

a little blood?

It's 5. Paris is waking.

What are you doing?

You'll see. I'm turning my bed.

I sleep facing south. You couldn't help me at least?

Here! Full south.

Why do you wear heels? They reassure me.

Come ! He's young, modern, eccentric

and yet, he's asleep at 5!

I'm the abnormal one?

Hello.

Hello. You need some help?

I know you make copies of paintings.

Are you expensive? Oh, a little.

I am not the best.

I specialise in Impressionists.

But you all know each other?

Can you tell me...

who makes these kinds of copies?

Who did this?

Rembrandt. Who?

Rembrandt. OK.

His address, quickly!

He... he's dead.

Shit... Shit !

When ? When ?

300 years ago.

About.

The name of the forger, quickly.

Or i'll make your mouth like a Picasso.

That's quality, it's Roland Balletot.

20a, rue Hippolyte-Maindron. 1st floor, left...

a small wooden door. He's a friend of mine.

Good. A little slow, but good.

Hi. Hello.

It's a right mess!

But... what have you done there ? !

You're a nutcase! I'm making holes.

Stop this, now! Stop it ! Stop!

I wanted to plant magnolias One there, one there...

Stop it!

I was being nice. I'm getting up at 6.

That's the first time i did that for anyone!

And it's for me?!

Stop there, now!

With grass above!

It's my garden. It depresses me!

Not a hedge out of place, not a dead leaf!

And the grass cut like a brush!

And then there's... there's that smell!

What smell? Clean!

It stinks of bleach. like a hospital!

I can't stand this place anymore.

I'm choking.

You never ask...

What?

No, nothing.

Some ethical certainties, moral or religious.

Aren't they a form of pride?

G�rard ? Yes, Ren�e Dandrieux.

I've got a problem. I must leave Paris.

I need the pictures.

2 weeks? Impossible.

I'll pay you triple. OK.

Copies in 2 weeks. Impossible.

I'll pay double. OK.

Yes?

It's me.

Yeah. And what? Can I come in?

In the bathroom? Yes.

I'm in the bath.

Yes, I know.

Is it important? I think so.

Enter then.

You ok?

Yes.

You taking a bath?

Yes, you could say.

It's good?

Yes.

You like your job?

I don't know... Not alot.

Since your arrival, this business with Ren�e,

i'm worried.

I'm neglecting my garden, my English,

I can't shoot my people.

I'm hosting a woman whom i'm going to kill.

I just peeled my dwarf Ulmus tree.

I thought... I thought it was you that was troubling me.

Finally, unconciously. I really thought that, I...

I don't know anymore.

What do you think of this?

Of my Ulmus.

I could try a graft rubber.

I don't wish to disturb you any longer.

Thanks.

It's nothing.

Shit.

I'll kill her.

It's me.

Am I disturbing you? No, not at all.

I didn't manage to sleep,

i've got a toothache.

I think i've got one too. Really?

Do you have sleeping pills?

No.

I'm sorry, no.

You want me to rub your feet?

It's good for stress.

You like it here? So so.

and there?

Yes... you rub my feet very well.

32% of men and 36% of women have

a stress problem at night.

You shouldn't have worried.

You want me to do the other foot? If you like.

Shit!

Antoine !

Antoine, it's me!

Antoine ! No !

Let me go! What are you doing?

No !

Go!

There was an old woman in a wheelchair.

She wanted to kill me.

I wasn't dreaming. It was horrible!

I swear to you it's true.

I believe you.

Mum...

Mum !

Victor Meynard !

Yes, mum.

It was me behind the door. I know.

Never past the front door!

Do you realise the situation?

I should never have left you.

Since I left you you've done nothing.

You're not even sleeping with her.

We have a problem.

I think so too.

We need to talk.

Mum...

For my 6th birthday you gave me an engraving of a Browning.

At 7 it was a Winchester At 8 I had a Beretta.

You saved my life.

I didn't do it on purpose. I've never been so nervous.

I am in love.

Ah yes?

He likes me, I like him...

He? But who is 'he'?

The old one.

When his mother woke me, I dreamt of him.

Good?

What are you doing then? A blowjob.

Ah...

I freed my life of young girls.

You are right.

Speak to me about him.

He's... He's the strong type.

Generous.

Sense of humour.

Cultured.

With a masculine build... remarkable.

"Blowjob", is that one 'L' or two?

She's been confined for long?

Yes.

It's been...

a while.

You knew that before... she was crazy?

Yes. She's a soft woman... Charming.

She makes me... Lemon tarts. Meringu�es.

You slept badly?

No. On the contrary, i slept marvellously.

Marvellously.

I think I owe you an explanation about my mother.

Antoine told me everything, I'm sorry.

Ah yes?

Me too, I'm sorry. I... I should've controlled myself.

Ah ?

I had a cousin. ..

he too was completely deranged. Then he died.

I adored him.

Don't think about it anymore.

We mustn't share his misfortune.

We shouldn't.

You are right.

I'm ashamed. It's worse for you.

Antoine strangled him.

Happy birthday, Victor.

Great party.

Warm atmosphere.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

You will laugh.

Today, It's my birth...

It's for me?

Oh, but i am ... I'm extremely touched, it's...

It's very nice. I thought so too.

How did you know the date? It's on your pictures.

I have another job.

But this time, careful of the tiles.

Not twice, stupid.

It's nothing, it's some antispetic cream.

Did you do that ? No, you did.

Good sleep?

I'm stuck. I know.

I mean... i'm stuck, here.

My shoes.

You wearing them. My shoes.

Ah yes, of course.

Happy birthday...

This is my watch. My pocketwatch.

I was sure you'd like it.

How much do you wiegh?

What are you doing? Do you like the room?

It lacks colour.

Ah, some colour.

Some colour.

I'll look for it. She'll have a surprise.

Ren�e ?

Ren�e. Yes ?

Can I come in for a moment? No.

I am naked.

Ah ?

You ok? I'm ok.

What is it?

You coming? Let me show you...

Come to see then.

Immediately?

Yes.

Are you ok?

Is there a problem?

Come.

Your turn. Why?

Your turn. But why?

Your turn, don't be a kid.

Oh my God.

What did you do? Blindfolded you.

There's a surprise.

I want to show you something, don't be afraid.

It'll take two minutes.

You will fall stiff.

Hands in the air!

This gun is old

and maintained only a little. Why keep it?

It's sentimental.

You are not sentimental, your a memory maniac.

She's right.

Don't shoot! It may

explode in your face.

You can't use it.

If i'm here, the bullet leaves there and returns there.

You're a liar. And you, a thief.

Make her listen to you.

You are both rubbish! I feel sorry for you!

To give, I gave, given.

*To choose, I chose, chosen.

To choose, I chose, chosen.

*To buy, I bought, bought.

To buy, I bought, bought.

*To feel, I felt, felt.

To feel, I felt, felt.

Well, G�rard, you don't look good.

Where is he ? Who ?

The man who does not fulfil his contracts. Who was to kill you.

Who are you?

His replacement.

Where is he ?

I don't know.

Talk or I cut a finger from assistant...

i'll make you eat it, and then i'll leave you with him.

Where is he ?

Tony...

Pass me your left hand please.

Let's try a little target practice.

Tremendous!

Bravo !

I didn't shoot.

Lay down the gun slowly.

Victor Meynard.

At last! Who are you?

You know perfectly who i am.

Dremyan.

Hector Dremyan. How do you spell that?

Listen... don't get him angry,

The situation is hard enough.

Dremyan, Dremyan...

You get a contract when i'm not interested.

Or not able to do it.

She's been tortured? No.

Don't worry, I gave the address immediately.

Why have you not carried out your contract?

I am old.

Against the wall, all 3 of you.

Did you missed me, M. Meynard?

I'm sorry.

Execute the contract, and i won't kill the young.

What?

You kill her, I kill you and I save the kid.

I can't.

Calm down, loosen up... Left hand under the right wrist.

Don't move!

Hands in the air!

Higher! Much higher!

Bravo, mum.

I must still do your jobs! You...

Yes madam.

Put the gun on the floor. Yes.

You, search the little heavy.

Mum, I don't know what to say. I came to excuse myself.

Did you see that?

No.

And you ? No.

And you? With your age you have good eyes.

Tell them, you!

Shit !

One more move!

I was sure he'd forget.

Drop everything.

F�lix's weapon.

Adieu.

Antoine...

Watch what happens when you've got no gear.

Nobody saw the cat?