Original subtitles

Let's do this.

Do you know where Alcântara St. is?

Was I supposed to?

No, that's where you come in.

On this street?i

No, that's the script.

I have a different script. I got the wrong one.

No, this is my script.

That's what I said. I got your script by mistake.

No, look. This is my script.

I'll say this and then you say what's on your script.

Look, it's wrong. It's like I said,

your script is in mine. Your lines are in mine, too.

What now?

Oh, please! It was miscommunication.

She's just not used to scripts, that's it.

To saying her line after you say yours?

Wow, aren't we demanding now?

Demanding? Our only demand is that she do the video for free.

The problem is that she doesn't fit the profile.

What's wrong with a twenty-something hottie playing a nuclear physicist?

A 60-year-old nuclear physicist.

So?

Couldn't she have been born in the wrong body? Huh?

A real nuclear physicist in the body of a very hot girl

in her twenties in a bikini.

There's nothing more relevant today than that.

Got it.

Do we at least have a good choice for the guy?

What would be a good choice for the guy?

For free, Erasmo. For free.

There's this one.

My... My name is...

Josias.

I'm 32. I'll be...

thirty-three... as was... to be expected.

I like pizza.

I like tenderness.

He fit the profile well, of doing the video for free.

He was the only candidate for the part.

Just waiting for a chance if you'll give me one.

Josias will captivate you.

ONLINE VIDEO PRODUCTIONS

Give me just a minute. I'm almost done.

-Excuse me. -Sure. As long as you want.

A patient has syphilis and she thinks she got it from her husband.

It's an online consultation?

No, I'm checking her out on Facebook.

Well, forget it.

-Let's do this. -Sure.

-Rosana, right? -Yes.

Okay. You work with Borges!

I used to, when he used to work.

He's now a police fugitive and left us a bankrupt company,

so I don't think you can say that anymore.

What do you want exactly?

We're changing health plans due to a company restructuring

-and we need new physicals. -Restructuring?

Yes, we're going from a bankrupt company with R$ 800,000 in debt,

to a bankrupt company with R$ 800,000 in debt

that makes online videos to pay the debt and avoid jail.

-Let's measure your blood pressure. -Let's.

Here?

Rosana, how's your sex life?

-Normal. -How many partners?

-What? -Partners. Men, women...

-That kind of stuff. -Is this relevant?

All the information you provide is very useful.

How do you do it? Positions, etc. Are you into kinky stuff?

Can you ask less about my sex life and more about my health?

I thought I was the doctor here.

Okay.

I was looking at your file, but your name is wrong.

It is. It's fine.

I couldn't find your Instagram at all.

Instagram? I don't use my name on it and it's private.

Friends only to avoid stalkers and gossipers.

You're right. Now, please, fill in your profile name

on the file, and on your way out send in the guy with thrombosis.

How will I know who it is?

It's the one with red blotches on his neck.

Serious skin fungus. He won't tell a soul.

He Photoshops his pictures so his soccer buddies won't see it.

May I go?

Gentlemen, this is Charlize Theron.

She went through a great transformation for her role in Monsters.

This is Meryl Streep.

A woman in her sixties who in Florence also had transform

to play another woman in her sixties.

This is Bruna Marquezine.

She also went through a great transformation when she turned 16.

All these women went through great transformations.

So, why not Jessica from Crossfitness?

She'll go through great transformations to play a nuclear physicist.

The white bikini represents a lab coat?

Yeah. Like it?

I went to the doctor and didn't like him. Our plan doctor is strange.

-Why? -Don't know. He didn't examine me well.

He was more worried about chatting,

getting gossip from here, and was on Facebook the whole time.

What's wrong with that?

That's how plan doctors are.

Pablo.

-Hey. -Hi.

This is Josias. He'll be your costar.

-What's up? -Hey, Josias.

I printed out scripts for you to practice.

I'm going up. Make yourself at home, Josias.

-Thanks. -All good, man?

-Cool? How's the script? -Cool.

Well, good. Shouldn't it be good?

Sure, but we're very flexible here, so make yourself comfortable.

Don't be nervous. I'm not an actor, Sônia is not a screenwriter.

From what people say, we're not even making real videos here.

Let's go then. I play Ronaldo.

Rubens, Rubens. The radiation sensors are going up.

Listen. We need to regulate the caldera levels. Now go.

-There. -Hello,

Ronaldo. What's up?

-What? -What is up?

Wait up.

"Hello, Ronaldo" is not here.

-You're Rubens, right? -This character could add the "hello."

I think the moment is right.

Okay.

It's good.

-Add it to yours, then. -I'll add it in later.

This is upside down.

Ah, that works too. Let's do it this way.

I'm good. Let's do it your way.

Following the script more, more correct.

That also works for me.

Okay, let's move on here.

As soon as I'm done say what it says on here.

Quickly, we need to open the emergency valves.

Look here so you can say what's on it.

-Quickly! -Yeah, but...

You're... What scene are you on?

She couldn't say how many partners she had.

I found it odd, but I didn't say anything. Her Facebook issues are enough.

It's completely wrong. Some aunt was talking crap...

Everybody was budding in, the whole thing.

Some cousin was saying things that explained a fungal infection.

Wow, that's crazy.

I won't say anything because that's a work thing...

I won't give names, don't want any trouble. Forget it.

No, of course, but there's only one more girl at work.

You're curious, but I won't say a thing.

Her Instagram mess is enough.

I don't want any trouble.

But you have to skip 100 pictures to get to the trouble.

Josias, we need to get you set up here.

This is a standard image release that we give to all the actors.

Looks good, okay.

No, we need you to read it, fill it out, and sign it.

Just a question, when you say "fill out," do you mean with letters?

I don't know how you do it here.

Got it.

I see what's going on. Rosana, come here!

She'll come and explain everything. No problem.

Relax, you just need to wait here.

Reading is complicated for me.

My town was very small.

We all lived in a mud hut, me and 14 siblings, without running water.

We'd take turns on who'd have dinner and who'd go to school.

I always preferred dinner.

That set me behind in reading. It's tough for me.

Daddy left as a fugitive, had issues with the Law.

My mom had to get a job, and I'd wear her clothes,

put on her lingerie, do my makeup...

I'd entertain the old folks in my neighborhood.

Do some somersaults, stand-up comedy...

I found my calling in entertainment, it was my thing.

My idol was Luigi Baricelli.

I'd get a rusty nail and write his name on my stomach and groin,

but I couldn't spell it.

I'd scribble stuff, show people, and they didn't know what was there.

I wanted to be an actor like him. I came to Rio to audition,

but I always have to read. I want to be an actor, not a reader.

So you never got work in Rio?

Sorry...

-You didn't get a script? -I did Malhação for three years.

-My God. -What's up, Pablo?

Nothing, Rosana! Nothing. Leave him alone!

You hear? Leave him alone!

Leave him alone...

What could be more feminist than having a hot 20-year-old

play the part of a 60-year-old nuclear physicist?

I'm shattering the stereo-type.

You think it makes sense that a 60-year-old nuclear physicist

is a semi-nude 20-year-old girl? You're not objectifying her?

Objectifying? I'm doing exactly the opposite.

She's 20, hot, in a bikini, and she's smart. She's a physicist!

I'm trying to end this male centric view.

I'm practically writing a feminist manifesto.

When would a hot 20-year-old play a 60-year-old physicist.

Guys, can I get your help?

What do we do when we know a person is not good at their job,

but we don't want to put the person down nor make them give up.

We want to motivate them so they can put food on their table.

-How do we do that? -Put a mustache on her and a white bikini.

For the love of God! We urgently need an HR department here.

There personal relations are not working.

BORGES IMPORTS

Is there a problem?

I want to know why I can't put anyone inside the company and you can.

Because our definitions of "putting inside" are a bit different.

Really? Funny because looking from here,

I'm pretty sure our HR person also "puts inside."

-Please, Erasmo! -Am I the only one curious?

Of course. There's nothing curious or confusing in that situation.

We hired her to solve our human resource issues, and that's what she is,

our HR.

Ironically, your new HR,

just created a personal issue for me inside the company.

Please, Erasmo. Can't we have one problem at a time in the company?

I have to deal with the gossiping doctor before it turns to shit.

Wait, what gossiping doctor?

Am I the only one uncomfortable with this hire?

-There. -Just me? Why didn't you tell me?

Seriously? You know how wrong this is?

I know how wrong it is.

I should've told them we dated two years ago.

How will I deal with my ex as the company HR?

-No way. -Yes.

How was your sex life?

But...

how's that related to my gallbladder?

Pablo, a doctor is a body CSI.

If you don't tell me everything, how will I find who murdered your gallbladder.

Lift up your shirt and lie down.

Something is bothering you, right? Tell me.

-I have some chest pain-- -Let's focus on the ex first.

-Okay, can I be honest with you? -Of course you can.

People see me as a priest, a lawyer...

I really didn't want her to be there.

-I don't want people to know. -Know what?

I don't want her talking about our relationship.

I have nothing against her, but if she talks about my faults...

I see.

What faults?

HR

What is the problem exactly?

We have to record a video and we can't

because Erasmo insists in having a bikini-clad woman.

I'm doing it for the views. Views will save the company.

Nuclear physicists in bikini add to views. It's science.

It's nonsense. You're objectifying women.

I won't direct the video and I don't think it's how we should make money.

It looks like you both have the common goal of saving the company.

What if we found a middle ground?

Not so much here nor there.

What if we used some of what Erasmo wants

with some of what Sônia needs,

we'd put it all in one place and make everybody happy.

Rubens, the radiation sensors are rising.

We need to regulate the caldera levels.

You say: "The control panel is not responding."

If we don't do anything, the plutonium deposit will explode.

Correct. That's what I was going to say.

Yes, I'm only the lab assistant. You say:

"I know how to use this type of equipment."

That's what I was going to say.

-I think-- -How's it going?

-Great. -It's going.

-You lost your voice. -Nonsense.

Nonsense. Add subtitles if needed. People prefer subtitles anyway.

-Like American movies. -Yeah.

-Read your lines, let me see. -Let's go.

Let's go. Rubens, the radiation sensors are rising.

Rubens, the radiation sensors are rising.

Looking at your face, Rubens, I think you'll say

that the control panel is broken.

Amazing, Ronaldo. That's what I was going to say.

But we need to get out of here.

-And you say... -Yes, yes.

Wait up. You are saying all his lines.

-No. -Sônia, you're getting in the way.

We made adaptations. Hang on and you'll get it.

No, it's weird. Let's go back to the original.

-We're taping in ten minutes. -Sônia...

Let me tell you something. I can't take this anymore.

My jaw is dislocated, I can't feel it.

You have to help me, I can't take it.

-Please help me. -There's spit on the script.

I know I am drooling!

-Problem solved! -How?

I think we have a compromise for both sides.

What the fuck is this?

-Isn't this what you asked for? -No.

No. How will that solve our problem?

If it doesn't solve her problem, it doesn't solve mine either.

Neither of you was totally happy,

but not totally unhappy either.

I think we reached a middle ground.

Okay, let's rewrite the script so it makes sense.

-Back to square one. -What?

I can't believe it. Damn it! Damn it!

You're getting a wart.

It's not a mole and it's not a beauty mark.

I see. Is it contagious?

No, that's silly.

If it itches, just get a lit cigarette and burn it. Nonsense.

I see.

Employees from Borges were here today.

-They did. -They were talking about you.

Yeah? What did they say?

You know people talk a lot, right?

I don't understand.

I don't get involved in gossip and such.

I'm more discreet.

They were saying you talk a lot.

-Who said that? -Everyone. People who like to gossip.

Erasmo, sorry, but now I feel offended.

I want you to know that regarding this prejudice against plan doctors,

you have in me more than an ally.

I'd say I'm a soldier, an admirer.

I don't consider you a doctor. I consider you an oracle.

-Thanks. -As an oracle, you could

pass on to me some of the knowledge acquired.

Pass me some knowledge on Pablo.

Some knowledge on Rosana.

Some great knowledge on Sônia.

So I can take that knowledge and spread it everywhere.

I need to win an argument because of an RH issue.

I wasn't going to say anything, but after hearing what they said about me,

I have no obligation to keep their information private.

That's right, doc. For example, what kind of information?

For example!

You know your friend Pablo and the new HR lady?

They used to...

Look at that.

Rubens, radiation levels are rising.

We need to regulate the caldera levels.

It's your turn to answer.

The panel... The panel... is rotten!

The insides are rotten, Ronaldo.

But that's good, because this type

of panel works better when rotten.

Me? My response?

The panel is not responding.

The panel has a total lack of response.

Ronaldo, it's doing this thing...

Cut, everyone. Let's stop.

Josias, it's not working. I'll zoom in.

Give him a script. You can read and it won't show. Don't worry.

-Let's do this. Rolling! -Let's go.

Rubens, the levels are rising.

We need to control the caldera.

How will we do that, Rubens?

Okay, I will push all the buttons...

to be able to control the caldera levels.

-How will I do that? -Cut!

Come on, Pablo! Are you dubbing Josias?

No way. What are you saying?

-What is it now? -I'm the one asking you.

Right, Pablo?

It seems that Pablo has something to tell us.

A hidden secret.

Didn't you want to play HR?

Talk about personal relationships in the company?

It looks like our friend Pablo has a little secret to tell

regarding personal relationships among coworkers.

He's been hiding it from his coworkers, right, Pablo?

Okay, okay.

I thought I could fool you, but I was wrong.

You know why I did it, Erasmo?

Because I'm sure that tolerance and acceptance...

are much more important than any video

for the Internet, and any job.

I hid from you a coworker relationship.

I did.

But, when you weren't here,

I was alone with him,

and he was sucking and sucking until he got it.

And I came... I came through for him.

Do you want to know if it was worth...

having my tongue go numb, to be drooling on that script,

my jaw stretched out, my mouth open...

It was very much worth it.

I can't take anymore everything I have in my throat!

I can't take it.

Wait. Is something happening here?

I don't understand?

Is Josias illiterate?

ONLINE VIDEO PRODUCTIONS

I'll go see if I can find us something or other.

Excuse me.