All language subtitles for Anchorman_.The.Legend.of.Ron.Burgundy.EXTENDED ENG1

There was a time,
a time before cable,

when the local anchorman
reigned supreme,

when people believed
everything they heard on TV.

This was an age when only men
were allowed to read the news.

And in San Diego, one anchorman
was more man than the rest.

His name was Ron Burgundy.

He was like a god
walking among mere mortals.

He had a voice that could
make a wolverine purr,

and suits so fine

they made Sinatra
look like a hobo.

In other words,
Ron Burgundy was the best.

Mmm. I look good.

I mean, really good.

Hey, everyone!
Come and see how good I look!

Mm, ehh, mm.

Ribs. I had ribs for lunch.
That's why I'm doing this.

How now brown cow.
How now brown cow.

How now brown cow.

How are you?
You look awfully nice tonight.

Maybe don't wear
a bra next time.

No, I was talking to you.
No, not her.

I don't know her name.
What is it?

Lanolin?

La-lanolin?
Like sheep's wool?

Unique New York.

Unique New York.

Mm, I love Scotch.

I love Scotch.
Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch.

Here it goes down.

Down into my belly.
Mm-mm-mm.

The arsonist
has oddly shaped feet.

How much time?
30? 30 seconds?

- You are on.
- I'm on right now?

I don't believe you.

- # Doo doo doo. #
- Ron!

Oh, come on. Audrey.

I look like hell.
I got bags under my eyes.

What's that?
If you were a man,

I'd punch you right
in the mouth.

That's bush.
Bush league.

The human torch was denied
a bank loan.

You hear me?
Audrey, look at me!

I'm sorry.

All right?
I'm sorry.

All right, we're on.

Ready, Phil.

We're on in five, four...

When the clock struck 6:00,

it meant one thing
for Ron Burgundy

and his news team:
Go time.

Channel 4 News,

Channel 4 News,

with five-time
Emmy award-winning anchor

Ron Burgundy.

Champ Kind, sports.

Ooh! Hoo-hoo!

Brick Tamland, weather.

And your reporter in the field,
Brian Fantana.

It's Channel 4 News
at 6:00.

Good evening.
I'm Ron Burgundy,

and this is what's happening
in your world tonight.

A La Jolla man clings to life
at a university hospital

after being viciously attacked
by a pack of wild dogs

in an abandoned pool.

Hey, everybody! Shut the hell up!
Ron Burgundy's on!

Authorities are still
uncertain as to why the man

- was loitering...
- Ron Burgundy.

Oh, my gosh!
She said her first words!

Right now it's 82'
in our fair city,

and compare that to 48'
in the upper Northwest

and 38'
in the Middle East.

Off the coast
of Tampa Bay yesterday,

one lucky cameraman
happened to catch

an unusual
aquatic daredevil.

What you're about to see
is a Channel 4 News exclusive.

His name is
Nutty the Squirrel,

and he's three years old.

How 'bout that?

That squirrel
can water-ski.

- Man, that's hilarious.
- Yeah, that's good.

For all of us here
at News Center 4,

I'm Ron Burgundy.

You stay classy,
San Diego.

You stay classy, San Diego.

Listen up.
The ratings just came in for last month.

We are number one.
We just grabbed every key demographic.

- Super-duper, gang!
- Yeah! Yeah!

Super-duper!
That's nice!

Way to go!
Neat, gang.

- Yes!
- Boy, Ed.

That is good news.
I gotta be honest.

- Congradulations, congradulations.
- That is good news!

- All right!
- Stick around.

Make sure these guys
don't party too much.

- They don't really ever listen to me.
- Just get it done.

Ladies and gentlemen,
can I please have your attention?

Ladies and gentlemen,
can I please have your attention?

I've just been handed
an urgent

and horrifying news story.

I need all of you
to stop what you're doing

and listen.

Cannonball!

Yes, these fellas were a real news team.

Burgundy, of course,
was the foundation.

But each member brought their own
special something to the equation.

People call me
the man.

I'm the stylish one
of the group.

I know what
you're asking yourself,

and the answer is yes,
I have a nickname for my penis.

It's called the Octagon.

But I also nicknamed
my testes.

My left one
is James Westfall,

and my right one is
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

You ladies play your cards right,
you might get to meet the whole gang.

Bang, boom, they were
showing lasers

every Friday night.

Champ here.
I'm all about having fun.

You know, get a couple
of cocktails in me,

start a fire
in someone's kitchen.

Maybe go to Sea World,
take my pants off.

Anyway, I've become
kind of famous

for my signature catchphrase,
"Whammy!"

As in, "Gene Tenace
at the plate...

and whammy!"

Whammy!

I'm Brick Tamland.

People seem to like me
because I am polite

and I'm rarely late.

I like to eat ice cream,

and I really enjoy
a nice pair of slacks.

Years later,
a doctor will tell me

that I have an lQ of forty eight

and am what some people call

"mentally retarded."

Hello!

- Whoo! Marco!
- Polo!

- Brian.
- You having a good time?

- I'm having a great time.
- That makes two of us.

You've gotta meet this girl.

She used to be a cheerleader,
but she broke her pelvis.

Sherri,
meet Ron Burgundy.

- Hey, Ron.
- Hello.

- I've got a big story for you.

And it's right here.

Well, hello.

You pointed to your breasts.

Oh, my God, you did!

- Ron Burgundy?
- Yes?

I have had a crush on you
since I was a little girl.

Let's go somewhere.

I'm telling you, it don't
get no better than this.

We've been coming
to the same party for 12 years,

and in no way
is that depressing.

Ahh.

# Gonna make
our own lightning #

# Yeah, she got the way
to move me, Cherry #

# She got the way
to groove me #

# Cherry, baby #

# She got the way
to move me #

# She got the way
to groove me... #

By the beard of Zeus!

Excuse me.

Ron, where you going?
What, are you crazy? Ron!

If you're coming down the baseline,
you gotta take home plate from me!

So there I go,
head first, boom!

I've lost her.

Ohh.

Hello.

Hello.

Hope I'm not disturbing
you, but, uh,

I saw you from across
the party, and, uh,

I don't usually do this, but I felt
compelled to tell you something.

You have...

an absolutely
breathtaking...

bottom.

I mean, that thing is good.

I want to be friends with it.

Well, you certainly know
how to compliment a woman.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Do you know who I am?

No, I can't say that I do.

I don't know how to put this,

but I'm kind of a big deal.

Really?

People know me.

I've very happy for you.

I'm very important.

I have...

many leather-bound books,

and my apartment

smells of rich mahogany.

That's stupid.

No, no, that's...
very exciting.

Listen, can l--

can I start over again?

Sure.

I wanna say something.
I'm gonna put it out there.

If you like it,
you can take it.

If you don't,
send it right back.

I wanna be on you.

Wait. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

I--

I wanna be on you.

hello!

Baxter!

Papa's home.

There he is.
There's my little man.

You're okay?

Of course I met
a lady tonight.

This one was different.
I have to be honest.

Quite different.

What--

I'm lonely?
I'm not lonely!

I'm loved by everyone
in San Diego.

Wow.

You know how to impress me, Baxter.

You're so wise.

You're like
a miniature Buddha

covered in hair.

Come again?

You know I don't speak Spanish.
In English, please.

Huh?

You pooped in the refrigerator?

And you ate a whole wheel of cheese?

How'd you do that?

I'm not even mad.
That's amazing.

I forgive you.

What do you say we get you
in your pajamas and go to bed?

Bedtime. Okay, come on.
Let's go. Come on.

Oh, that was one
crazy party.

I am hung over.

I woke up this morning

All right, guys.
Let's focus up.

Morning, everyone.

Here are the stories
we're going to be chasing today.

It looks like Ling Wong,

the rare panda
at the San Diego Zoo, is pregnant.

This is a big one.

This could be the big
story of the summer.

Network will want
plenty of coverage.

And speaking of network,
word on the street is

they're looking
for a new anchor.

- So, Ron...
- Huh? Network?

Are they here?

A lot of you have heard
the affiliates complaining

about a lack of diversity
on the news team.

What in the hell is diversity?

Well, I could be wrong,

but I think diversity
is an old, old wooden ship

that was used
during the Civil War era.

I would be surprised
if the affiliates were concerned

about the lack
of an old wooden ship,

but nice try.

Diversity means
that times are changing,

and with that in mind--

- Ron, are you paying attention?
- Nope.

- This concerns all of us.
- Okay.

I'd like
to introduce the latest addition

to the News Team,

directly from WYPN

in Asheville, North Carolina,

Ms. Veronica Corningstone.

- # Who's that lady? #
- Hello.

- # Who's that lady... #
- Hello, everyone.

- Oh!
- I just want you all to know

that I look forward
to contributing

to this news station's
already sterling reputation.

I mean, come on, Ed!
It's bull crap!

Don't get me wrong.
I love the ladies.

They rev my engine,
but they don't belong in the newsroom!

It is anchorman,
not anchorlady!

- And that is a scientific fact!
- Uh-huh.

I don't know
what we're yelling about!

Ron, what do you think?

She-- sh--
it's terrible!

She has beautiful eyes,
and her hair smells like cinnamon!

Mm-hmm.

Loud noises!

All right, everyone relax.
She's not gonna take anyone's airtime.

I read somewhere that
their menstruation attract bears.

Bears can smell
the menstruation.

Well, that's just great.
You hear that, Ed?

Bears. Now you're putting
the whole station in jeopardy.

I will say
one thing for her, Ed,

she does have a nice,
big old behind.

I'd like to put some
barbecue sauce on that butt

and just bite, bite, bite, bite,
munch, munch, munch!

- Ah-whoo!
- Stop it! Oh, Jeez.

Look at the full moon butt!

Champ! Champ!
Champ, Champ!

Mr. Harken, I was just wondering

if you knew when my office
would be ready.

Well, that might
take some time.

For now, why don't you just
grab a desk in the bull pen?

You can use my office! Then afterwards
maybe we can go to lunch!

Lower your voice, Ron.

All right.
Thank you, Mr. Harken.

I'll go get
my desk set up.

Oh, she is a saucy mama!
I mean, I would...

Here we go again.

Every station
it's the same.

Women ask me
how I put up with it.

Well, the truth is,
I don't really have a choice.

This is definitely
a man's world.

But while they're laughing
and grabbing arses,

I'm chasing down leads

and practicing
my non regional diction.

Because the only way to win
is to be the best.

The very best.

Touchy situation.

I think the best thing
to do with this Corningstone,

to keep her in line,
is bed her quick.

Oh, that behind
is driving me crazy!

I'm like a night wolf.

Guys, take it easy.
Just take it easy!

- She's got feelings, too.
- Oh, my God!

Listen to Burgundy.

He's gone soft on us,
like some schoolboy bitch.

You sound like a gay.

Hey! Come on!

It's me, Papa Burgundy,
all right?

As far as I'm concerned,
Corningstone's fair game.

Huh?
Let the games begin!

Hi-ohhh!

There he is.
There he is.

I'm very aroused.

What's this?

Well, well, well.

Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4
News Team.

Hello, Wes Mantooth.

Hello,
Evening News Team.

Nice clothes, gentlemen.

I didn't know the Salvation Army
was having a sale.

Am I right?
Look at these guys.

Hey, where did you
get those clothes?

At the toilet store?

What are you doing
on our station's turf, Burgundy?

You're about to get
a serious beating.

I will smash your face
into a car windshield

and then take your mother,
Dorothy Mantooth,

out for a nice seafood dinner
and never call her again!

Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
You understand me?

- Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
- Hey.

Leave the mothers
out of this, all right?

It's unnecessary.

Besides, I'm sure Wes here

is just upset over finishing
second in the ratings again.

That's completely
uncalled for, Burgundy.

You know those
rating systems are flawed.

They don't take into account
houses that have

more than two television sets
and other things of that nature.

I guess I have to take you
at your word,

Number Two.

You have
a great day, fellas.

We'll see you around the bend.

Son of a bitch!

Excuse me, Number Two.

Hey, Burgundy.

You know those sample audiences
aren't big enough!

Stop hiding behind those phony numbers,
Burgundy! I'm coming after you!

I hate you, Ron Burgundy.
I hate you!

You can't say one word?

Even the guy who can't
think says something!

You guys just stand
there? Come on!

Right, but I think my son
is just going through a phase.

I have no idea where

he would have got hold
of German pornography.

But you and l
are mature adults.

We've both seen our share
of pornographic materials.

Oh, you never have?

Of course you haven't,
how stupid of me. Neither have l.

I was just speaking
in generalities.

I'll stop by the school
a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.

Ed, she insisted
on coming in.

Mr. Harken, sir,

I will not have my first story
at this news station

be about a cat fashion show.

Miss Corningstone, ma'am,

you will do the stories
to which you are assigned.

Mr. Harken, I am
a damn good journalist,

and this cat show thing
is grade A baloney.

It is not baloney.
Now, go do your job, missy!

It is baloney!

Hey, Ron,

I'm gonna take a run
at the new girl.

Let the games begin.

Oh, Champ, Champ,
we're not really gonna actually do that.

- We were just flapping our gums.
- Oh, yeah.

You kill me, Burgundy.

Let me just grab this.
Oh, sorry about that.

- Whammy.
- Hmm.

- Uh, Champ?
- Yeah.

You're trying to touch
my breasts, aren't you?

What can I say?
I like the way you're put together.

What do you say
we go out on a date?

Have some chicken,
maybe some sex.

You know,
see what happens?

Oh, let me get this
over here.

Sorry.

Oh, there it is.

I'll give this
little cookie an hour

before we're doing
the no-pants dance.

Time to musk up.

Wow.

It never ceases to amaze me.

What cologne
you gonna go with?

London Gentleman, or--

wait. No, no, no.
Hold on.

Blackbeard's Delight.

No, she gets
a special cologne.

It's called Sex Panther
by Odeon.

It's illegal in nine countries.

Yep, it's made with bits
of real panther.

- So you know it's good.
- It's quite pungent.

Oh yeah.

It's a formidable scent.

It stings the nostrils.

- In a good way.
- Yep.

I'll be honest with you.
That smells like pure gasoline.

They've done studies,
you know.

60% of the time,
it works every time.

That doesn't make sense.

Well...

Iet's go see if we can
make this little kitty purr.

Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite
I'd like to extend your way.

My God.

What is that smell?

-Oh!

That's the smell
of desire, milady.

God, no, it smells like--

Iike a used diaper
filled with lndian food.

Oh!
Excuse me.

Desire smells like that
to some people.

What is that? Smells like a turd
covered in burnt hair!

It smells like
Bigfoot's dick!

Oh, hell, that stinks!

Oh, what's that smell?

This is worse than the time
the raccoon got in the copier.

Yeah.

It's very distracting.

- When we get to the pet shop--
- Cough!

Look over here.

Excuse me, Veronica.

Yes, what is it, Brick?

I would like
to extend to you

an invitation
to the pants party.

Excuse me?

The party.
The pants--

With the pants.
Party with pants?

Brick, are you saying

that there's a party in
your pants and I'm invited?

That's it.

Hmm. Did Brian tell you
to say this, Brick?

No--
yes, he did.

Okay. No, I don't want to go
to a party in your pants.

Very well.
Ian?

Would you like to go
to a party in my pants?

No, Brick.

All right. Let's go!

All right, now...

I'm telling you,
she is a real ball breaker.

A real ice queen.

Mm. I just
burned my tongue.

The only way
to bag a classy lady

is to give her two tickets
to the gun show...

and see if she likes
the goods.

One thousand and one

One thousand and two

- Uh, Mr. Burgundy?
- One thousand and three.

Helen said that you
needed to see me?

Oh, Miss Corningstone.

I wasn't expecting company.

Just doing my workout.

Tuesday's arms and back.

- You asked me to come by, sir.
- Oh, did l?

Yes.

Oh, it's the deep burn!

Oh, it's so deep.

I can barely lift my right
arm 'cause I did so many.

I don't know if you heard me counting.
I did over One thousand.

You have your ubulus muscle

that connects
to the upper dorsinus.

It's boring,
but it's part of my life.

I'm just gonna grab this shirt,
if you don't mind.

Just watch out for the guns.
They'll get you.

You are pathetic.

This has to be
the most feeble

pickup attempt
that I have ever encountered.

I expected it from the rest of them,
Mr. Burgundy, but not from you.

Wait a minute!
I-- pickup attempt?

I'm offended.

I have little time
to get to the gym,

so I have to sculpt
my guns at the office.

Oh, stop calling
your arms "guns."

Look.

My plan was to ask you

if I could mentor you
about town

as one professional
helping another professional,

because I know what it's like
to be lonely in a new city.

- Really?
- Yes.

But now I am too hurt.

And shocked and offended

and-- and hurt.

I could do that.

Really?

Well, yes.

As a journalist,
I should get to know

the city
that I'm covering.

- But this is not a date.
- No, of course not.

- Strictly professional.
- Wonderful.

- Hmm.
- Great.

Shall I pick you up

8:00?

Mm, 9:00.

Downstairs?

Mr. Burgundy, you have
a massive erection.

Really?

Yes, I do.
Um...

I'm sorry, it's the--

- it's the pleats.
- Mm.

It's actually
an optical illusion.

It's the pattern
on the pants.

It's not flattering
in the crotch region.

I'm actually
taking them back right now.

Taking them back
to the pants store.

Oh, this is awkward.

and I will see you later.

Don't act like
you're not impressed.

Frame up two.

- Let's go to Brian Fantana live...
- Gimme a tighter one on two.

...with a Channel 4
News exclusive.

Brian?

Panda watch.
The mood is tense.

I have been on some
serious, serious reports,

but nothing like this.

I-- l-- Ching--
King is inside now.

I tried to get an interview,
but they said, "You can't.

He's a live bear. He will
literally rip your face off."

Hey! You're making me
look stupid!

Get out here!
Panda jerk!

Great story.
Compelling and rich.

That's gonna do it for all
of us at Channel four News.

You stay classy,
San Diego.

I'm Ron Burgundy?

Damn it! Who typed a question mark
on the Teleprompter?

For the last time, anything
you put on that prompter,

Burgundy will read.

Oh, God,
this is a mistake.

This is a mistake.

He's very cute. Very cute.
No, he's not. He's hairy.

There she is!
Veronica!

My little China doll.

I am full of it tonight.

Oh, silly. Hi.

You look ravishing.

It truly is beauty
and the beast.

I might add
a handsome beast at that.

Are you ready
for our rendezvous?

It's not a date.

No, strictly professional.

Doesn't mean
we can't have fun.

- Shall we?
- Yes.

San Diego.

Mm! Drink it in.

It always
goes down smooth.

What a beautiful view,
Mr. Burgundy.

I know. I love this city.
It's a--

it's a fact.

It's the greatest city
in the history of mankind.

Discovered by the Germans
in 1904.

They named it San Diago,

which of course in German
means a whale's vagina.

no, there's
no way that's correct.

I'm sorry.
I was trying to impress you.

Oh.

I don't know what it means.

I'll be honest. I don't think anyone
knows what it means anymore.

Scholars maintain that
the translation was lost

hundreds of years ago.

Doesn't it mean
Saint Diego?

No. No.

No, that's--
that's what it means.

Really.

Well, agree to disagree.

May I take your order?

Yes, I am going to have
three fingers of Glenlivet

with a little bit of pepper,
and, uh, some cheese.

Very good.

A Manhattan,
and kick the vermouth

in the side with a pair
of steel-toed boots.

- Certainly.
- Thank you, Scott.

Thank you.

Wow.
Quite a drink order.

Oh, well, when in Rome.

Yes?

Please, go on.

Uh, do as the Romans do?

It's an old expression.

Oh! I've never heard of it.

- Oh.
- It's wonderful, though.

Mr. Burgundy.

- Tino! How are you?
- So good to see you.

You're looking fantastic.

Tino, Veronica.

Veronica.
What a pretty girlfriend.

- Drinks are on Tino tonight.
- No, no, no.

We're work associates.
I work at the station.

- I'm a journalist.
- Oh, okay. This is a good guy.

Tino's the finest
club owner in the city.

- My best friend, right?
- Yes.

Yes, we have a saying
in my country about people like him.

"The coyote of the desert

always likes to eat
the heart of the young,

where the blood drips down to children
for breakfast, lunch and dinner,

- only the ribs will be broken in two."
- Tino.

Okay. Well, Mr. Burgundy,
we will be honored

if you will play
"yazz" flute for us.

- I can't.
- Please.

You play jazz flute?

- I dabble.
- Oh.

Would everyone love to hear
Ron Burgundy play "jazz" flute?

- Get it goin', Ronnie!
- Yes! Please.

You, on stage now.

Okay, I guess I can play
a little ditty.

- Honestly, I'm--
- Come on.

- Give him a hand.
- I'm not prepared. Not at all.

- Yeah!
- This is a surprise, I'll tell you.

Guys, "East Harlem
Shakedown," E flat?

Keep the cymbals splashy,

and, Jay, let's take
the bass line for a walk.

Hold on.

I'm not hearing it right.
Hold on.

We got it now.
It's all right.

Fire up, Ronnie!

Little "Ham and Eggs" coming at you.
Hope you got your griddles.

That's baby making music,
that's what that is.

Let's go!

Hey, Aqualung!

Thank you.

Thank you!

You were amazing.

Mm. Thank you.

Where did you learn
to play like that?

Well, jazz flute

has always been a small
passion of mine.

So what other passions
do you have, Mr. Burgundy?

Well, I have one
great passion that--

that lives deep
within my loins, like a--

Iike a flaming golden hawk:

To one day
become a network anchor.

Well, believe it or not,

we share the same dream.

I too want to be
an network anchor.

God, you are so beautiful.

We really
should be going.

I swore that I would never
get involved with a coworker.

Wait.

What if, just for tonight,
we weren't coworkers?

We were co-people?

- I don't--

You be a woman.

I'll be a man.

That's all.

Oh.

You continue to surprise
me, Mr. Burgundy.

Oh, I'm storming your castle
on my steed, milady.

Wait, stop.
Stop talking like that.

- I can't understand you.
- Sorry.

Take me to Pleasure Town!

- Oh, we're going there!
- Oh!

# Love is like candy
on a shelf #

# You want to taste
and help yourself... #

I love you!

I love you back!

# Help yourself,
take a few #

# That's what
I want you to do... #

Look! The most glorious
rainbow ever!

Oh, do me on it!

# Just say the word
and they are yours... #

# In my heart your smile
has opened up the door #

# The greatest wealth
that exists in the world. #

Mmm.

Well done, sir.

Tip of the cap to you as well,
Miss Corningstone.

I'm having very strong feelings
for you, Mr. Burgundy.

Mm.

But it's very important to me
that I be viewed as a professional.

- Right.
- Hmm.

When in Rome.

Yeah.

That, uh, expression

doesn't really apply
to what I'm talking about.

- Oh, I'm--
- What I was saying.

I still don't quite
understand what it means.

Oh, no.
You'll find it.

No, I was saying that,

if we continue
seeing each other,

that we should keep it
relatively quiet around the station.

Absolutely,

my wild love tigress.

Tasteful discretion
is the name of the game.

Mm-hmm.

Veronica Corningstone
and I had sex,

and now we are in love!

Did I say that loud?

Yeah, you pretty much
yelled it.

Well, I can't help it.

It's fantastic!

- What's it like, Ron?
- The intimate times?

Outta sight, my man!

No. The other thing.

Love.

Yeah.
What is that?

Well, it's tough to explain.

- I think I was in love once.
- Really, what was her name?

I don't remember.

That's not a good start,
but keep going.

She was Brazilian.

Or Chinese,
or something weird.

I met her in the bathroom
of a supermarket,

and we made out for hours.

Then we parted ways,
never to see each other again.

I'm pretty sure
that's not love.

Damn it!

I love...

carpet.

I love desk.

Are you just looking at things
in the office and saying you love them?

I love lamp.

Do you really love the lamp,
or are you saying it because you saw it?

I love lamp!
I love lamp.

You really want to know
what love is?

- Yeah.
- Yes, tell us.

More than anything
in the world.

Well, it's really
quite simple.

It's kind of like...

# Gonna find my baby,
gonna hold her tight #

# Gonna grab
some afternoon delight #

# My motto's always been
"When it's right, it's right" #

# Why wait until the middle
of a cold, dark night #

# When everything's a little
clearer in the light of day #

# And we know the night #

# Is always gonna
be there anyway? #

# Thinkin' of you's
working up my appetite #

# Lookin' forward
to a little afternoon delight #

# Rubbin' sticks and stones together
make the sparks ignite #

# And the thought of lovin' you
is getting so exciting #

# Sky rockets in flight #

- # Boo! #
- # Afternoon delight... #

- Whoop!
- You guys have it, I think.

# Afternoon delight. #

I don't know, Ron.
That sounds kinda crazy.

Sounds like you have
mental problems, man.

- Yeah, you got mental problems, man.
- Yeah, he really does.

Man.

# Afternoon delight. #

- Wanna make a phone call.
- Freshen this up.

Oh, look out.
Next up, it's Whiskerus Maximus.

He's ready to do battle
in the arena

against the tiniest lion
you've ever imagined.

I'm getting some great stuff,
Miss Corningstone.

Shut up.

Oh, I hate cats.

Let's just do my sign-off
and get outta here.

It was quite a show
down here at the Pet Shack.

Just for today, fashion curiosity
did not kill the cat.

I'm Veronica Corningstone
for Channel 4 News.

That was our newest reporter,
Veronica Corningstone.

She's really great.

I'd also like to share with you
that we are currently dating

and that she is quite
a handful in the bedroom.

Uh...

That's gonna do it
for all of us here at 6:00.

For the Channel 4 News Team,
I'm Ron Burgundy.

You stay classy,
San Diego.

All clear.

Uh-oh.

I might be in trouble
on that one.

I can't believe that you said
that we were dating on the air.

Mmm! Mmm.
That is good fondue.

Don't you get it, Ron?
I wanna be an anchor.

That is never gonna happen
if everyone in San Diego

thinks that I'm
your bimbo gal pal.

I don't know what to say.

I just--
I got excited.

I just wanted to shout it
from on top of a mountain.

But I didn't have a mountain.
I had a newsroom and a camera.

Look.

I report the news.
That's what I do.

And today's top story,
in Ron Burgundy's world,

read something like this: