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1
00:00:03,569 --> 00:00:07,205
Wait. The police have
their own car wash?
2
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,941
Oh, don, I'd love to.
3
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,243
Oh, this could be fun
for tonight.
4
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:15,413
The rutherford museum is presenting
their Titanic exhibit.
5
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,948
They're unveiling
a tank of water
6
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,983
from where the doomed
liner went down.
7
00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:20,819
I'm on the phone.
8
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:21,986
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought that you--
9
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:23,421
no, it's nobody.
It's just dick.
10
00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:25,690
What's for lunch?
11
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,758
I didn't make anything.
12
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,627
All right, I'm off
to the gyro stand.
13
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,495
Oh, Harry,
14
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,431
Harry, it's gyros.
15
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,465
You know, if one more person
tells me how to pronounce it,
16
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,002
I'm just gonna stop eating 'em.
17
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:37,868
Harry, stay here.
18
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,305
We can order pizza
and eat it all together.
19
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,506
See you guys later.
20
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,507
Wait. Where
are you going?
21
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:43,575
The arcade.
22
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,177
Oh, that sounds
like fun. Let's all go.
23
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,845
Have fun.
I'm staying home.
24
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,415
That's it. Family meeting!
Family meeting!
25
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,284
You're not family.
Get out!
26
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,053
What was that about?
27
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,554
Don't you see
what's happening here?
28
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,757
We're not spending
any time together.
29
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,893
What about last week when we went
to the plumbing supply store?
30
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,195
That was an emergency.
31
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,631
Oh sure, throw that
back in my face.
32
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:10,502
We're all going off
in different directions.
33
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,738
We're becoming a fragmented
crew and a lousy family.
34
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,106
Yeah, but that happened,
like, months ago.
35
00:01:16,442 --> 00:01:18,343
I thought we were
all ok with that.
36
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,344
You know, I'm still the leader
37
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,047
of this so-called family,
and what I say goes.
38
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,482
Fine. What do
you have to say?
39
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,817
We're spending this weekend
together as a family.
40
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:26,952
Great! I'll call don.
41
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,519
No, no, no, no!
That's the whole point!
42
00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:31,456
We're going out and doing
something together. Family only.
43
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,657
Well, like what?
44
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,493
Oh, I-I don't know.
45
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,160
Like these people.
46
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,229
Look how much fun
they're having.
47
00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:40,999
What are they doing?
48
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,901
Um, eating cereal?
49
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:43,902
No, but what are they doing?
50
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,437
It's called camping, dick.
51
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,772
Camping! That's it.
We're doing camping!
52
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,074
Going camping.
53
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,374
We're going camping!
54
00:02:29,982 --> 00:02:33,217
Bottle opener?
That'll be useful.
55
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,953
A saw? God knows--
56
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,390
God knows we'll use that.
57
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,726
A scissors?
Get out of town!
58
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,394
Oh, that Swiss army.
59
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:44,562
Yeah, when they get
in the game,
60
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,631
they are ready to play.
61
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:49,567
Sweet lord! A toothpick!
62
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:52,003
Nina, have you got anything
stuck in your teeth
63
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,072
that I can assist you with?
64
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,373
No, thanks. I'm good.
65
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,708
Oh. That's a shame.
66
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,743
Now, Nina, if you need
to reach me for anything
67
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,445
this weekend,
I'll be unreachable.
68
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,547
I'm going camping
with my family.
69
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:03,514
Mm-hmm.
That's nice.
70
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,716
Now, before you ask,
71
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,318
I'm going to have
to tell you--no.
72
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,621
No what?
73
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,456
No, you can't come along.
74
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,824
I hate camping.
75
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,191
I'm sorry, Nina, but I'm afraid
76
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,927
that's going
to have to be final.
77
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,962
You see, as head
of my household,
78
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,198
I've made
an executive decision.
79
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,399
It's going to be
just me and my family.
80
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:24,436
We're going camping
all weekend.
81
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,436
You're going camping?
82
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,204
Yes. Just me
and my family.
83
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:30,074
Ohh, I love camping.
84
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,110
My folks and I went
every summer.
85
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,377
You did?
Oh, yeah.
86
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:36,047
Dad and I would wake up
every morning early
87
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,481
to go blueberry picking.
88
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,784
And then mom would
shake off her hangover
89
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:43,354
and throw some blueberries
in the pancakes
90
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:46,458
and some in her bloody Mary.
91
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,559
What happy, beautiful memories.
92
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:52,163
Oh, I'd love to go
back up there sometime.
93
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,866
The fresh air,
the starry skies.
94
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,234
A sleeping bag for 2.
95
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,504
A brisk dip
in a babbling brook.
96
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:00,538
Clothing optional.
97
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:04,542
And then, go hiking,
collect some leaves.
98
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:07,712
Leaves clinging to our
wet, gleaming buttocks.
99
00:04:09,381 --> 00:04:10,682
Excuse me?
100
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,250
Oh, Mary, come with us!
101
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,952
Oh, dick, I can't.
I've got--
102
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,721
oh, please, please.
103
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,456
Really? Are you sure?
104
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,757
Of course I'm sure.
105
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,327
You know what?
106
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,296
Yes!
I'm gonna go for it.
107
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,097
I'm gonna go air out
my sleeping bag.
108
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,533
Yes! Yes!
109
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,368
Uh, Dr. Solomon,
110
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,037
I really hate to mention
this, but didn't you--
111
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,972
Nina, I'll say it one last time.
You cannot come!
112
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,645
Dick, I gotta tell you,
113
00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:44,115
I was kinda mad with this
whole "family only" thing,
114
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,950
but I'm starting to have fun.
115
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,886
Oh, good. But, uh,
116
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,888
you know, when
I say family only,
117
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,990
I'm speaking
in the larger sense
118
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,624
of, uh, the family of man,
119
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,494
which could include,
say, uh, Mary,
120
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,196
if you think about it.
121
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,365
What?
122
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,599
Morning, campers!
Hi, Mary.
123
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:02,767
Here you go!
Oh, crap!
124
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,569
I'll go get
the rest of my stuff.
125
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:05,970
She's coming?
126
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,572
Well, you're the one
who took her backpack.
127
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:08,840
Now we have to bring her.
128
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,742
But you told me
I couldn't bring don.
129
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,510
I know what I said.
But if don were here,
130
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:13,611
it would be a different story.
131
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:14,779
You can't penalize Mary
132
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,082
for don's lack of initiative.
133
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,316
I am out!
134
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,350
Me, too!
Screw this.
135
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,518
Sally, get in the back
and sit down!
136
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,519
That's an order!
137
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,426
Mary is coming with us, and I
will not tolerate any complaints.
138
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:29,761
Ok, I'm ready.
139
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:30,762
Where should I put this?
140
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,097
Oh, just throw it in the back.
141
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:32,964
Ow!
142
00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,168
Whoo!
143
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:45,643
Ow! Oh!
144
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:49,247
Oh, dick!
It's beautiful up here.
145
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,214
Not now, Mary.
146
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:53,385
I think that pine cone bit me.
147
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,587
I cannot believe people get
out of a comfortable bed
148
00:05:56,589 --> 00:06:00,158
at the crack of dawn to come
out here and sleep on dirt.
149
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,960
I think it hearkens back
to the early days
150
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,463
when people were,
you know, idiots.
151
00:06:06,798 --> 00:06:08,666
Hey, what's that?
It's our tent.
152
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,801
We're not all
gonna fit in there.
153
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,971
We have to set it up, goober!
154
00:06:16,174 --> 00:06:18,976
Maybe I can be of some help.
155
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,111
Do you know where
your guide pole is?
156
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:23,313
Uh, yeah, he's over there.
157
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:29,320
Trying to suck the venom
out of his pine cone bite.
158
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:32,456
Let's see.
If each one of us takes a corner--
159
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,058
uh, you know what, albright?
160
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,393
What?
161
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,328
I think we can manage.
162
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,964
Ok. Uh,
163
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,733
if you need me, I'll be over
here, setting up my tent.
164
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:46,971
Like she can help us.
165
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,973
Right.
166
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:58,182
Ok! Who wants to go
say hello to some trees?
167
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,884
Oh, I will!
I love trees.
168
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,387
Uh, dick? Can I talk
to you for a sec?
169
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,421
What are you doing?
170
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,589
You drag us up here
in the middle of nowhere
171
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,525
and then you skip off with your
girlfriend to talk to trees?
172
00:07:08,527 --> 00:07:10,061
Yeah, we need some help here.
173
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,263
Well, so does Mary.
I mean, look around.
174
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,466
She can't greet all
these trees on her own.
175
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,101
Mary. Mary!
176
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,469
Mary: Dick!
177
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,971
This is reprehensible behavior.
178
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,839
How the hell are we going
to set this thing up?
179
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,275
Ok. I think I saw
how she did it.
180
00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:33,818
Man, we're gonna die.
181
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,060
Hey, check it out.
Those 2 dragonflies are doin' it.
182
00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:46,998
I wish I was a dragonfly.
183
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,734
So you could be doin' it?
184
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:54,072
No. So I could fly
my ass outta here.
185
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,073
Ohh!
186
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,608
Did you see that, gang?
187
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:58,910
Now, that was a cast.
188
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,311
I'm really impressed.
Genius.
189
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,079
You know, I'm just getting
a little bit fed up
190
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,615
with your negative attitude.
191
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,216
Well, I'm getting fed up
with the lack of lunch.
192
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,918
When are you gonna
catch a fish?
193
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,086
I already did.
194
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,188
Uh, dick?
Albright's fish ate your fish.
195
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,224
It's the circle of life.
196
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,261
[Gunshots]
197
00:08:23,434 --> 00:08:24,535
Harry, what was that?
198
00:08:28,306 --> 00:08:29,507
I don't know.
199
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,944
I just bent over
to dig up some worms...
200
00:08:34,446 --> 00:08:38,349
And these fat guys in orange
vests started shooting at me.
201
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,918
Oh, my God, Harry.
You've gotta be more careful.
202
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,253
They probably thought
you were a--
203
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,420
here we go.
204
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:46,924
More woodsy wisdom from
albright of the jungle.
205
00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:49,193
Harry, sit down.
206
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,061
Let's all sing that nice song
207
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:53,264
about rowing your boat
down the stream.
208
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,465
Tommy: Aw, man.
I don't want to.
209
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,300
Just sing the freakin'
song, all right?
210
00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:01,439
♪ Row, row, row your boat
211
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,574
♪ gently down the stream
merrily...
212
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,510
Mary: ♪ row, row,
row your boat ♪
213
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,378
♪ gently down the stream ♪
214
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,546
♪ merrily, merrily
215
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,848
♪ merrily, merrily,
life-- ♪
216
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,050
what are you doing?
217
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,251
Joining in.
218
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,520
Well, you're a little late.
219
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,755
That how you sing it.
It's called a round.
220
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:18,823
Oh, please.
221
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,424
Sally, we're out in the woods.
222
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:21,993
This is supposed to be fun.
223
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,161
Fun? First you force us
to come up here,
224
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,264
and then she weasels
her way in.
225
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,297
Weasel.
226
00:09:27,299 --> 00:09:29,466
Dick invited me.
I didn't weasel.
227
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:30,635
Weasel.
228
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:31,936
Tommy: Wait a minute.
You invited her?
229
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:33,170
You didn't tell them?
230
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,305
Hey, I think the bass are getting jumpy.
Lines in!
231
00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:36,741
Oh, this is just great.
232
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,042
Hey, Mary, wait!
233
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,044
Weasel.
Harry, enough with the weasel.
234
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,113
No! Weasel!
235
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,857
That fish really
looks delicious, Mary.
236
00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:57,628
Well, our dinner's almost ready.
237
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,330
Harry, I'm not eating that.
238
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,533
Oh, why, puddin'?
239
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:06,337
'Cause it doesn't have
butter or sour cream?
240
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,337
No.
241
00:10:07,339 --> 00:10:08,505
'Cause it's a rock.
242
00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:13,244
Look at how smug she is
243
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:17,381
with her homemade tartar sauce.
244
00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:23,655
Mary...Uh...
245
00:10:25,357 --> 00:10:26,524
Here.
Thank you.
246
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,625
You're welcome.
247
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,828
That was so big of you, Mary.
248
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,797
I could really go
for a nice end cut there
249
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,898
if you have some.
250
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:36,868
Say, guys.
251
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,504
How about throwing a little
of that bass my way?
252
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,139
[Sneering]
253
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,573
Hey, Mary.
254
00:10:43,942 --> 00:10:46,610
You know how we can
smooth things over?
255
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:50,614
What say you and me go into your
tent and flatten some grass?
256
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,116
Go to hell.
257
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,352
Ha ha ha ha.
258
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,420
Say, guys.
259
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,822
Now that we've got that
monkey off our backs,
260
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,093
we can get down to some really
serious family fun, huh?
261
00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:06,129
Oh, I see how it's going to be!
262
00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:07,831
You don't need me?
Well, I don't need you.
263
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,334
You hear me?
I don't need you!
264
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,502
You hear me?
265
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,769
All: Shut up!
266
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:13,905
Fine.
267
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,106
Fine. As long
as you heard me.
268
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:24,314
Uhh! Aah!
269
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:25,816
Couldn't sleep a wink.
270
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:29,019
There was a big rock
under my foot.
271
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,320
That's funny.
I couldn't sleep
272
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,422
'cause there was
a big foot on my head.
273
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,993
[Gunshots]
274
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,197
Hey.
Hi.
275
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,133
How's the blueberry
picking going?
276
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,901
Well, I didn't get
as many as I like
277
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:47,371
on account of those guys
are still shooting at me.
278
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,040
Maybe you need a license
to pick blueberries.
279
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,107
That might be it.
280
00:11:52,744 --> 00:11:53,945
Good morning.
281
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,413
[All grunt]
282
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,348
Nice day.
283
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,150
Wa-hoo.
284
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,252
Look. Obviously,
this isn't working,
285
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,888
so why don't you just go get
dick and we'll go home?
286
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,022
Fine. Go get him.
287
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,924
I don't have him.
I thought he was with you.
288
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,559
He's not with us.
Where is he?
289
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,494
Hmm. Well, we got
nothing to go on
290
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,129
except for our best guesses
291
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,765
and this lengthy
note from dick.
292
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:18,736
"Dear ungrateful family
293
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,406
"and sexy but vindictive lover.
294
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,708
"Since you have shunned me,
I have decided to leave.
295
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,077
You won't have dick Solomon
to kick around anymore."
296
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,245
He just walked out on us?
297
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,413
Weasel!
Aah!
298
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,981
No.
299
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:32,917
It's just an expression.
300
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,186
"Let's see how you do
without my leadership.
301
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,021
"Of course, I won't
be there to see it,
302
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:40,357
"but I am confident
you'll fail. Ha ha!
303
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,193
Good-bye forever, dick."
304
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,727
Ok, listen up, people.
305
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,429
What we got here
is a missing camper.
306
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,497
We're gonna check every outhouse,
doghouse, and henhouse
307
00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:48,966
in a 5-mile radius.
308
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,668
What about just a house?
309
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,737
Shut up! Albright,
you guard the camp.
310
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:55,840
Oh, now, look, I think I
might be of some help here.
311
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,576
Look...
312
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,546
Maybe you can catch a
bass or toss a tent,
313
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,147
but when it comes
to search and rescue,
314
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,082
I'm in charge of the troops.
315
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,217
Fine.
316
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:08,552
I just want to point out
317
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:12,756
that your troops are
standing in poison sumac.
318
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,661
So? They're not
eating it, are they?
319
00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:30,474
Waking up alone in the forest.
320
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,310
My lungs full of fresh air,
321
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,512
my hair touched with dew,
322
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,415
my body lashed to the
ground with ropes,
323
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,516
my nose full of--
324
00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:44,421
wait, what was that last one?
325
00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:48,458
My body's lashed to the
ground with ropes!
326
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,328
Hey!
327
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,597
[All shouting]
328
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,733
Somebody poke him!
329
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,434
No, no, no! Stop!
Who are you?
330
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,970
What are you doing to me?
331
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,104
We're beaver scouts.
332
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,739
And we're poking you!
333
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,040
All: Yeah!
No! No!
334
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,942
Where's your beaver supervisor?
335
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:06,043
Mr. hagen?
336
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,746
He's sleeping off
a 12-pack in the canoe.
337
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:09,846
I am a high commander,
338
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,549
and I order you to untie me!
339
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:12,884
You're a high commander?
340
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,285
I'm the high commander!
341
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,220
High commander of what?
342
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:19,590
Well, I'm between gigs
at the moment.
343
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,392
But I promise you that I am.
344
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,325
Prove it!
345
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,395
Yeah. Shoot down
a helicopter.
346
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,097
Untie me, and I just might.
347
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:26,998
How?
348
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,231
I have an acute knowledge
349
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:30,868
of thermodynamics
and gyroscopic motion.
350
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,470
Yeah!
Cool!
351
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,272
Bitchin'!
Yes!
352
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,873
Get the arms first, will you?
353
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,241
Dick!
354
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:38,342
Dick!
355
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,544
Dick!
356
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:43,714
Hello.
357
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,483
Albright, what are you doing
here Miles from the campsite?
358
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,953
Yeah, with your tent and
our tent and the lake--
359
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:52,456
and we just went in a
big-ass circle, didn't we?
360
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,257
Yup.
361
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,125
[Gunshots]
362
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:06,804
My tree disguise
sure ain't working.
363
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,941
I told you you were going
in the wrong direction.
364
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,174
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
365
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,275
Then which way'd he go?
366
00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:14,445
All right, his footprints
went off that way,
367
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,815
and then they veered up
north towards the Ridge.
368
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,317
Sally,
369
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,752
would you like to lead the way?
370
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,921
No. I think you should
take the point.
371
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,591
Most of the dangerous work
is in the flank, so...
372
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,026
Let's go.
373
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,527
Hold on. Harry,
374
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,795
take off your coat.
375
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,468
Harry,
376
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,902
put your coat back on.
377
00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:43,574
Scout masters, families,
378
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:44,741
girlfriends!
379
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:45,909
All: Eww!
380
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:47,511
Yeah, it's all the same.
381
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,179
Just a bunch of whiny voices
382
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:50,781
trying to tell you
what's right and wrong.
383
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,383
Blah, blah, blah!
384
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,718
All: Blah, blah, blah!
385
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,751
Well, no more!
386
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,920
Now, you listen only to me.
387
00:15:56,922 --> 00:16:00,958
The leaders you've had
before were weak, gutless.
388
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,259
They had nothing
to teach you except
389
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,495
the same old blah, blah, blah!
390
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,197
All: Blah, blah, blah!
391
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,831
Look around you, boys.
392
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,701
I declare this our new kingdom.
393
00:16:11,703 --> 00:16:13,904
Here is where
we will make our stand.
394
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,707
Here, where we are truly free!
395
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,410
All:
Blah, blah, blah!
396
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,113
No, I was trying to make
a serious point there.
397
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,247
Oh. Sorry.
398
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,349
Yeah. We just
got swept up.
399
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,055
Hey, you guys, wait up.
I got a blister.
400
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,756
Oh, here.
Let me take a look.
401
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,691
Why? You never seen
a blister before?
402
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,496
I have some aloe.
That should help.
403
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,799
No, I don't need any--
oh, that's kinda good.
404
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,634
I played field hockey
in college,
405
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,737
and I used to get a blister
in exactly the same spot.
406
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,972
This always
made it feel better.
407
00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,542
You're not gonna try
to kiss me, are you?
408
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:56,813
So, you really played
field hockey?
409
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,182
Yeah.
410
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,417
See this scar?
5 stitches.
411
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,920
Courtesy of Laura
Parker, cheap shot.
412
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,255
Wow. What'd you do?
413
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,691
Dropped my stick and opened
her up like a melon.
414
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,826
You know what,
you're pretty tough
415
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,996
for a prissy little bookworm.
416
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:14,265
Thank you.
417
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,733
You should know, Sally, that
the last thing I wanted to do
418
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,103
was intrude on
your family weekend.
419
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,237
Oh, that's all right.
420
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:23,340
The last thing I wanted to do
was have a family weekend.
421
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,508
Want to keep looking for dick?
422
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:27,111
If for no other reason
than to kick his ass.
423
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,812
Hey, guys. Check out
these berries
424
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,414
we found down by the stream.
425
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,416
Oh, my God, Tommy.
You didn't eat these, did you?
426
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,617
These are Finch berries.
427
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,087
They make coffee beans
look like sedatives.
428
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,120
Let's go!
429
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,994
Dick!
Dick?
430
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,696
Hey, you guys,
431
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:46,930
can you give Harry
another Berry?
432
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,465
He's drooling on my shoulder.
433
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,800
Oh, yeah.
434
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,369
Chasing that trout upstream
really wiped him out.
435
00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,776
Halt!
436
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,910
This is a secured area!
437
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,378
You are not authorized.
438
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,379
Oh, look at them.
439
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,682
Aren't they cute!
440
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,150
Oh, man!
441
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,119
You ever been with an admiral?
442
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,719
Ehh, hey, hey. Uh,
443
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:11,155
ease up there, little fella.
444
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:12,656
We're looking for a tall,
445
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,658
disoriented-looking
middle-aged guy.
446
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:15,960
Have you seen him?
447
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:19,196
Are you talking about the
king of the revolution?
448
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,165
Oh, God, I hope not.
449
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:38,315
Next time,
450
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,083
bring me creamy.
451
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,888
Would you like the jelly?
452
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,790
What flavor is the jelly?
453
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,125
Grape.
454
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,526
The horror.
455
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,029
The horror.
456
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:54,664
Scout:
We got prisoners!
457
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:55,900
Bring them in!
458
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,135
Keep it movin'.
Move, move, move!
459
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,202
Second scout:
Come on!
460
00:19:00,705 --> 00:19:02,305
Tommy: Uh, dick?
461
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,074
What the hell are you doing?
462
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,777
I'm creating a new society.
463
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,478
Our society.
464
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,014
I call it...
465
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,883
Dicksylvania.
466
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,518
And you just crossed
the borders.
467
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,519
Yeah!
468
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,154
Go on, kids.
Tie 'em down
469
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,355
and poke 'em with the sticks.
470
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:21,859
You touch me with that, I make
you look like a corn dog.
471
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,059
Ok, men, regroup.
472
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:27,364
Seriously, dick
let's get going, huh?
473
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,765
Oh, no!
474
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,600
No, you shunned me!
475
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,803
No. These are
my people now.
476
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,105
We're staying in
these woods forever.
477
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,941
Forever?
Forever.
478
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,810
Yeah, but it's only half an hour
till hamburger time back at camp.
479
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,678
No, no. We're gonna
kill a boar, remember?
480
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,980
We can eat for a week!
481
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:46,283
We got school
on Monday, ya moron!
482
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,285
Hey, I thought we agreed
483
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:51,021
that school was
for, you know, fools.
484
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,022
Fools?
485
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,125
You're the one with peanut
butter on his face.
486
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,092
Let's go.
487
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,662
It was fun till he
took his pants off.
488
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,063
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
489
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:01,698
What about our--
the plans for--
490
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,267
the world we--
the cool fort?
491
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,503
Scouts:
Blah, blah, blah!
492
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:13,310
Well, this is probably
a long shot, but...
493
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,779
Did you bring my bathrobe?
494
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,649
And maybe some handi wipes?
495
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,883
Let's get out of here.
496
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,552
Oh, wait a minute.
You haven't seen our cool latrine.
497
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,854
You--you--
498
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,722
Harry!
499
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:26,890
Ugh!
500
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,126
You got your trout
in my peanut butter.
501
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,928
Your peanut butter
got on my trout.
502
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:38,101
Not bad.
Not bad.
503
00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:44,908
All right, let me
get this straight.
504
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,343
You disobeyed your own orders,
505
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,780
invited albright into what you knew
would be a hostile environment,
506
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:50,948
alienated everyone,
507
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,716
and then you stomped off
into the woods
508
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:55,018
where you became
a jungle overlord.
509
00:20:56,654 --> 00:20:59,923
Well, it's a mistake every
man makes sooner or later.
510
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,225
I learned my lesson.
511
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:02,425
Yeah, right.
But you have to admit
512
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,562
I did orchestrate a hugely
successful weekend.
513
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:06,697
How do you figure that?
514
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:07,964
Well, through a series
515
00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:10,200
of apparently
lame-brained orders
516
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,669
and seemingly
selfish strategies,
517
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,238
I managed to lead this family
518
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,973
to a new level of unity.
519
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,509
And that's the story
you're going with?
520
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,345
Unless you've got
something better. No.
521
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,147
Here you go.
522
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,415
Hey, what are these?
523
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,684
Boy, you really haven't
camped, have you?
524
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:30,421
They're marshmallows on a stick.
You put 'em in the fire.
525
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,522
All: Oh!
526
00:21:34,025 --> 00:21:36,460
[All talking at once]
527
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,395
Captioned by the national captioning
institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
528
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,171
what do you think?
529
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,574
I can't quite
put my finger on it.
530
00:21:51,976 --> 00:21:54,644
It's like...
Peanut butter
531
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:57,780
but with a kind of fishy taste.
532
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:00,984
It's trout butter.
533
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:05,589
I don't like it.
534
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:08,192
I love it.
36526
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