Original subtitles

Someone said that TV serials are like rubber bands.

There never break even after stretched very far.

But even rubber bands break after a point.

And when that point came. .

..the TV serial people thought that..

..something new needed to be done.

Our Producers have created a lot of programs.

And they know that creating something new. .

. . means putting old wine in a new bottle.

The producers said that he would make a reality TV show.

That means making a TV show in real life.

But l would make the show on the issue of marriage.

The channel readily accepted his proposal.

Who would have a problem with the issue of marriage?

Neither the ones who show it nor the ones that see it.

The date that the show would appear on TV was decided.

Then they realised that it was not the season of marriage.

They searched here and there and finally came across family..

. . where a marriage was fixed.

And that was the family of the Joshis.

Why didn't you have your food even today, mother?

Don't worry about me. l shall not die.

'Would you remain hungry till Jyoti gives birth to a son?'

'What is this madness, mother?

You should marry a second time.

Uncle, move aside! - What happened?

Just move to a side. - Yes, l am going.

'Did you ever think what Jyoti did for our family?

Did you think about here.

'Mother! Jyoti is my wife..'

My God! What an evil-sounding voice! - lt is some dog.

Hi snoopy! Have you come?

'Then select who you want.'

Why doesn't someone drive it away? lt is crying in a house..

..where a marriage is about to take place.

Where did you go, my cutie? Where did you go, my child?

Who are you talking to, brother-in-law?

She is my child, my daughter.

Where did you go, my child?

So you have a daughter without even getting married!

What happened to you? What is this?

Your child is pregnant, brother-in-law! Congratulations!

You have become a grandfather without even getting married.

Father, your food.

What are these? - 'Potatoes with curd?' - Potatoes with curd?

Do you like potatoes with curd?

'l like potatoes with curd very much'

But now l cannot take curd which is sour.

'l know it. You have the problem of acidity.

That is why l made it with plain curd'

'How lovingly would mother prepare it for you?'

With a lot of love!

These potatoes are still raw. - Raw?! - Yes.

'Very unripe father! His love is very unripe.

Raw!

Father! The potatoes aren't raw. You haven't put your teeth on.

'He is one character on the inside and another outside'

At every moment.

How can l eat without my teeth?

Hey! Give me my teeth.

There a first class scene is going on and you are pestering..

..me for your teeth.

Just wait a couple of minutes.

When the break comes, l shall get up and give them.

Your mother used to take good care of me.

Now when she is no more l feel her loss in my life.

She is very much alive. But l still feel her loss.

My dear daughter-in-law!

Why don't you look in my pouch for them? - Okay.

Manoj! What is the time for uncle's train to arrive?

Are you listening or not? - Will you break my ear drums?

Father! Your teeth are not in here.

My teeth aren't there?

Hello, where are my teeth?

Now don't pester me.

l haven't taken a contract to preserve your teeth.

But how can l eat my food?

Auntie, give him his teeth. He must be hungry.

You don't keep quiet even for two minutes.

Always asking for this thing and that.

l don't know how you shall manage if l were to die.

They aren't here. Where did you put your teeth?

l gave them to you only.

You gave me? - Yes. - When did you give me?

l gave them to you after my lunch this afternoon.

Lunch this afternoon? - Yes. - But that we had in the train!

Yes, that's right. We had lunch in the train.

My god! Did you forget your teeth in the train?

So you left my teeth in the train!

Come fast. The band party is here.

Where is so much noise coming from?

Hold on! Stop all this.

What is all this? - The bride's party sent them. - Why?

For your approval.

They said that a band of 12 men would come..

..and we could reject if we didn't like them.

So would they ask us even regarding the band?

Okay, it is done. Tell them that we like it.

He didn't even hear them play but gave his approval.

But when are you supposed to go to the station?

When does the train arrive?

l have to go in the morning. The train is six hours late.

l have inquired.

No one ever reaches in time. ls the driver there or is he gone?

l shall go and get them in a taxi. -Okay.

- What is this? - What?

What is this? - These are my glasses!

lt is already night. Are you blind?

lt is an occasion of marriage. - Take them off!

And go to the station and wait for them there.

He wants to become a hero by wearing glasses.

Tolerate him.

Uncle, please tell them to play the song from 'Tere Naam'

Hey! You shall hear abuses from inside. - Only one song, Manoj uncle!

Jai, get inside the house. - Only one song, mommy.

Let them play it. Otherwise he shall not let us go.

Play then! Which one? - 'Tere Naam'.

Hey! You dashed into my vehicle.

You gave the signal to turn right but turned left!

Do you have a license to drive your vehicle?

Hey! Don't use swear words.

l am not using them on you, sir.

Don't use them at all. Ladies are here.

Hey! Take it off the way. - He doesn't listen to me.

Rakesh! How far is our house from here?

Uncle, my name is Manoj.

Whatever! Let's leave this taxi and go walking.

Wait a minute, uncle! Let me see to it.

Uncle! Uncle! - Get down! Get down all of you.

How decent are the people living in Mumbai!.

Uncle. - lf this were to happen in Bihar you can't imagine. .

..what would have happened by now.

Take out your luggage. We shall go walking.

Uncle! - So uncle, are you from Bihar?

How much should we pay you? - Even l too am from Bihar, uncle.

Rakesh.. - But who is Rakesh?

Rakesh, take the luggage out. - Listen..

But who is Rakesh? - Uncle! You are really angry.

Hey! Bihar is being defamed because of people like you.

Rakesh, take the luggage out.

Uncle, my name is Manoj. - Whatever..

Listen, isn't even younger son of Suresh, who was born even..

..after a vasectomy?

Speak in a low voice. He might hear. - What if he hears?

lf he was born after a vasectomy, then that is it.

You? - Me?

l'm sorry. - lt's okay.

Shall l get up? - Yes!

Please get up. - Sorry.

Please do it fast, Rakesh!

My name is not Rakesh.

You go!- Excuse me, can you tell me where this house is?

This house..!

And you? - Asmi!

Sister-in-law - Sister-in-law - Sister-in-law Asmi!

l am Asmi but not your sister-in-law!

lf you were supposed to come yesterday. - Yes, that is true.

But l had some urgent work and so.. - What urgent work?!

You should have made a phone call to me and l would have come..

..to take you. Uncle she is Sister-in-law Asmi!

Go and touch of his feet, sister-in-law.

The old man is very touchy and takes umbrage quickly.

Go and touch his feet. Go now! Go!

His feet? - Yes, touch them. - Otherwise he shall feel bad.

Go now! Bend! Bend! - may you live long!

And she is our eldest auntie. Touch her feet.

And she is Ritu. You need not touch her feet.

Hi. - Hi aunty! - Aunty?

lt is good that you have come, sister-in-law.

lt is very good. - Not sister-in-law! Not sister-in-law!

What do you mean? - Asmi yes, sister-in-law no!

Yes, you told me even on the phone not to call you sister-in-law.

Since you are younger in age.

Sister-in-law, this is the house of marriage.

There are many elders here.

lf l don't address a sister-in-law as sister-in-law then. .

. .l shall be thrown out of the house. Uncle, there is our house.

Where is it? - lt must be that one. - There it is.

Which one are you talking about? - You walk on, we shall find it.

But.. - You too come on.

This uncle from Bihar doesn't look as old as he really is.

He dyes his hair. He does a 100 situps every morning.

And he is so energetic. .

..that Kamasutra is his favourite book even at this age.

But how come sister-in-law Asmi is here?

Brother must have said. .

. . that if he came himself, he would be skinned.

That is why he sent sister-in-law so as to cool..

..the tempers of the people here. - How is brother, sister-in-law?

Listen.. - Okay, pick it up.

But, l am..

l have no problem, sister-in-law. Pick it up!

You ran away and married in a court. l have no problem with that.

l suggest that one must marry the person he or she loves.

lnitially the people in our house may scold you.

Bear it for a while. Come and meet all of them.

Come and meet all the family members one after the other.

Come on, come sister-in-law! Please come in.

Come here all of you.

l went to bring one guest but returned with. .

Guess who has come. - Who has come?

Some stranger must have come. But l don't know.

lt is sister-in-law Asmi that has come.

No, l am Asmi but not. .

Dead.

Mother!

Mother! Don't cry. - How can l not cry?

This girl has estranged my son and.

My god!

l did see the face of my son since two years.

Mother! Be quiet.

They went to a court and got married.

Don't be afraid, sister-in-law. lt is all a drama.

She shall become normal soon.

Why are you standing quiet? Why don't you say something?

What can l say? My teeth were lost in the train itself.

Mother!

What happened? - You only tell me, brother!

My respects! - Go and wash your face first.

Listen. l am not your sister-in-law. l am Asmi but not..

Sister-in-law, please! The situation might go worse.

For god's sake why don't you understand?

l'm not your sister-in-law.

l understand, sister-in-law! l understand.

But right now l have to call a sister-in-law a sister-in-law.

To hell with your sister-in-law! l'm not your sister-in-law!

Hey God! ls she now going to reject even the relationship?

She has snatched a son from his mother.

Now will she keep quiet. .

..only after breaking whatever relationship is left?

You are mistaking me. l am Asmi, Asmi Ganatra.

Yes. - Not Asmi sister-in-law.

Yes, but.. -Shut up! And l did not come from Delhi.

l stay right here in Mumbai.

l am a TV director.

What is that?

l make TV serials. - What serial auntie?

Auntie?!.. l make them but haven't made any so far.

l mean.. - She hasn't made any!

l mean, l'm going to make a new serial.

lt is about you people.

We are going to make 13 episodes about this marriage.

And that they do serial is aired. .

..all of you shall become celebrities.

All overnight!

What shall we become? Which city? - Publicity, uncle!

We shall become famous.

What would you do by becoming famous?

l ask you what you would gain by becoming famous?

Shall your milkman give you free milk?

Or shall you get free ration at the grocery store?

l ask you what you shall achieve by becoming famous.

Uncle, in today's world everyone wants to become famous.

How can l talk to you, madam? l don't even know you.

Nephew, you only answer her. She is your guest.

You only tell her.

Uncle, what should l. .

Why do you stammer like that?

Speak out your heart.

l.. l.. l.. like a goat!

Please give me an autograph! - Where should l do it?

Anywhere!

Treatment for prickly heat! Just one autograph of Shekhar Joshi!

lt's okay. l give my approval.

What happened? Why are you so anxious?

Why shouldn't l be anxious?

Show their marriages on the TV. Don't these..

..T.V. people have mothers and sisters?

Show their marriages on the TV. And look at this son of Suresh.

He didn't even think about the respect of the house..

.. and gave his consent.

That is because he thinks he will become famous..

.. by appearing on the TV.

All of us shall become famous - why would you become famous?

The bride is his daughter, he is the bride's father and his..

..wife is the bride's mother.

They only will be in focus all the time.

You shall appear..

. . standing here and there like an extra with..

.. a rose turban on your head.

They will be the real stars.

So what? They too are members of our family.

Who is seeking your opinion?

You don't have teeth but say big things.

lf we don't do anything then this son of Suresh put us to..

..shame in public.

l went here and there. l don't know where all l went

Okay stop!

Hi, this is Ritu Joshi and let us first meet the bride.

The marriage party moves ahead followed by the marriage band

The groom has arrived, O bride open the door

Knock! Knock! Open the door!

Hi, this is Ritu Joshi and the marriage is after four days.

Decorate your hands and the palanquin

Your love is going to come to take you

So, how are you feeling ma'am? - Feeling like shit!

So that's how our bride feels today. She feels shitty!

Shitty shitty bride!

Hey sister! You lack in glamour a bit. - Yeah? - Yeah!

One minute, check this.

Why do you exclaim like that? This is their bread and butter.

That is what l say.

These have been earning money sinfully and lost their religion.

l've telling lies for forty years in Bhagalpur.

They say that Suresh has become. .

. . a rich man in Mumbai and ask me what he does.

What should l tell them?

That he makes undergarments of ladies?

My head hangs in shame when l think of the questions they ask.

What does he do?!

We just tell them that he does cloth business.

But if one earns money immorally. .

..there will be sin in one's life.

Just see what his son did.

He shall throw the prestige of his house to the streets in..

..search of fame.

This has come from here. - lt is not mine.

Hi!

This is Ritu Joshi and now we shall talk to the eldest..

..granduncle of the bride.

Grandpa, how do you feel on this occasion? - lt's like..

Grandpa, what is that in your hand? - lt is granny's bra!

Grandpa! That room is kept for you.

We are going back.

Where to?

Our home. We cannot stay here any longer. - But why?

What a question! We value our prestige more than anything else.

What happened now, uncle?

We came here..

. . planning to attend the marriage of our granddaughter.

Here we learnt. .

that what you are doing is not the marriage of your daughter..

..but a TV serial.

Please forgive me.

lf l go home people will say that he went to attend a marriage..

. . but has returned after performing in a drama.

How should l answer them?

Elder brother says the right thing.

We too shall not stay for the marriage.

Won't we stay? But my teeth are going to be delivered tomorrow.

ln that case you may stay back with your teeth. But l shall go.

But uncle, how can this marriage with performed without..

..elders attending it?

No one shall go anywhere.

Whatever is the opinion of the elders in this house. .

..shall be binding on everyone.

Shekhar, call that TV woman.

lt was so simple! So simple, like a piece of cake.

l just told them that they would become stars and be famous..

..and that 45 crore homes all over the world..

Not 45 but 47 crores.. 470 million homes

..and that 47 crore homes all over the world shall watch the..

..marriage in your home.

l knew it was a wonderful idea. l knew it from the beginning.

Your mind is great, darling!

Super idea! - But that was.. my idea!

Hello l am Asmi speaking.

Mr. Joshi!

Tell me.

What? !

But why? The reputation of your family?

But how can this? . . That's okay!

But you.. But l.. But you and your commitment..

Hello! Hello!

What happened?

They rejected the idea. - What?!

What?! - What?!

lt seems that some members of the family didn't agree.

l knew it. l knew it damn well. You guys are so incompetent!

Absolutely incompetent!

We shall give the show to someone else.

We shall do that just today. - No! l shall do something.

l knew it!

l said that such a big show cannot be handled by a first-time director.

l said that. - You certainly did. - Damn!

You knew the profile of your audience. - Yes..

Did you go there wearing these clothes?

l mean, you go to meet a traditional lndian family wearing..

..these cloths?

No wonder, they don't relate to you. Are you Julia Roberts? - Yes..

Are you Demi Moore? - No!

The show is about an lndian marriage and you go there as if..

..you just returned from England!

I will do something.

What shall you do?

Give me just one day. - Given! You are given a day's time.

Okay, one day. And your time starts now!

Okay, we shall give you a new offer.

ls this a fish market that you came to bargain?

Bargain.

This girl is really.. -

Why is he staring at me like a frog?

We shall bear half the expenses of this marriage.

l look okay. -

She looks lovely.

Don't think about her.

She is much higher than your standard.

We shall save a lot of money. - Really?

lf they bear half the expenses...

...it means that we shall save at least 20 lakhs

Hey why are you murmuring there like a woman?

Say it aloud before all.

l am just saying uncle that. .

..how can l think of going against your wishes?

Okay, we shall bear the entire expense.

He became a frog again!

l don't know why this old man is itchy.

Won't everyone feel nice if such a beautiful girl is around..

..for the marriage?

Then grandfather of the bride has made up his mind.

lsn't it Suresh? - Yes.

Give sweets to the producer and send them off. Rakesh?

Manoj. - Yes.

Suresh has so many sons that it is difficult to remember..

..their names.

Give them sweets. - What? - Sweets! - Okay.

l too shall dance. - l practiced too. - Chances l do, uncle?

There won't be any shooting. - Oh no! - Oh yes!

lt would have been enjoyable if it was there. - Yes.

Sister-in-law, give me some sweets. - l shall get them just now.

Hi, this is Ritu Joshi! lt is time for me to say goodbye.

Listen to this song now.

We shall meet again for the next show. See you! - See you!

The desires of my heart were washed away as tears..

They have left. - Uncle, sweets. - They have left.

They must be just outside. - Go and give them the sweets.

This is a marriage house. There must be sweets.

There are many in the house to eat sweets.

Listen! Listen!

What did l do to you?

l was just going to offer you these sweets.

How strange you people are!

You first cheat and then offer sweets.

You look lovely in these clothes.

lf you take off your hand, l shall get up.

Oh sorry!

Get up..! - l know how to get up.

l too know how make people get up.

Here. - l shall pick them up myself.

My hands are not dirty. See this. See this.

Take this. Why don't you cover some other marriage?

This is not the marriage season.

You mean there is no other family in Mumbai?

There is, but we need a marriage in a joint family.

And yours is the only home where such a marriage is happening.

What shall you do now?

How does it matter to you? - l just asked..

What can l do? This was my first chance.

Now they will dismiss me.

l too shall quit everything and get married.

l think this industry in not for me.

Had this been my marriage, l would have given you my consent.

Whom should l marry?

There isn't anyone.

Have these sweets. lt is not my marriage but my niece's.

Thank you.

Bye!

Come Pauji! Make it fast. Everyone is clamoring for snacks.

Bring the orange one for me, please.

Hey brother-in-law! Who are you dreaming about?

Nothing special, sister-in-law. Just as usual.

lt is not usual. You were smiling.

l was just looking at the women and smiling.

Oh god! Who were you smiling at? Let me see.

ls it that woman in the purple saree?

That woman as a husband and two children. l shall murder you!

ln that case you must tell it yourself.

Otherwise, we are new to your city. .

..and shall fix your marriage with some such woman.

Sister-in-law, who would want to marry me?

l am good for nothing did not complete college. .

l'm going to have to live life as a bachelor. - Why so?

Ask me and l shall bring three or four matches for you right away.

Go sister-in-law!

Otherwise the snacks too will become old like me.

Sister-in-law, l too like someone but ...

...she is out of my reach.

Asmi Ganatra, Juhu Scheme!

Oh No! This sticker has come here too! Hi!

Why are you looking like this? - Nothing.

Did they dismiss you from work?

Did you come this far just to ask this question?

No, l ...

...came regarding some work that l have with you

What is that work?

Should we just stand here and talk about it?

l stay alone in this house.

So, if any guess arrives, do you send them off from outside itself?

Come in.

Oh! This fell down there. Thanks! Thanks!

Your house is.. - Good. l know it. Thanks all the same.

l was about to say something else. Your house is. .

..it is a little small.

What have you got to do with that? You shall get space to sit.

Yes, l can see that."

" But if l sit, l become a little nervous.

But anyway, thanks all the same.

Why don't you go now? Shall you keep standing here?

What l came for is.. l have an idea.

Do you get ideas too?

l get only ideas. l get a lot of ideas but no one listens to me.

lf you listen to me your work will be done and..

may be my work too may be done.

l shall change my clothes and come. - No, even this way will do.

What do you mean?

l mean why bother about clothes,

l will tell you my idea as you are.

Stupid! We shall go to meet the Producer, outside. - Okay.

Stupid! Wah!

Very interesting idea! - Yeah, very interesting!

l knew that you would like this idea.

l was thinking since some time. .

. . how to solve this problem.

And then suddenly l got this idea.

Who got this idea?

For this you have to talk to someone in that house.

l'm talking to you only after doing that.

This means that we have already talked to someone in that..

..house about this. - Yes ma'am.

Very smart! - Thank you, ma'am.

What happened to you? You were not like this.

l was always like this.

But l never got the opportunity to show you my talent.

Okay, start working on this.

But remember, this time there should be no problems.

Absolutely ma'am, they won't be any problem at all.

All the best! - All the best!

Thank you ma'am! Thank you ma'am!

How can you do this? You took my idea but claimed to be yours.

My idea!

We need to do that sometimes, brother.

One grows big only by stealing others' ideas.

And we shall compensate you, my friend.

ln return for your help. .

..we shall give you, how much.. - fifty.. - fifty thousand.

Fifty? Fifty? Five lakhs. - Five lakhs?

Don't say that my friend.

Five lakhs! Even the idea for Sholay.

..would not have fetched such a price.

Didn't you say to my brother that you would bear half the..

..expenses for the marriage?

lf you have 3 lakhs, give me that and settle the issue.

Explain him this Asmi. Tell him.

That offer was made for a public shooting.

But your idea was to do it secretly.

My idea? Now has it become my idea?

Oh my God! - Now is this my idea? Has it become my idea now?

Come in. - So now it has become my idea.

Hi Kavita! - Oh, what happened?

The channel liked our idea. - Our idea?!

Our idea? Our idea! - No, it's your idea.

So it is once again my idea.

l'm Kavita. l am the writer of this serial.

Writer?! What is the need for a writer?

What do l need to do now?

Nothing! You must just ensure that. .

when our man comes tonight to fit the cameras, they is no problem.

What sort of problem? - Our men will come to your house with five cameras.

They will put them in such secret places that no one shall..

..come to know of them.

But let us assume that, god forbid, someone in your house..

..comes to know of it.

Then it is your responsibility to rein him in. - Okay! Okay.

Who shall operate these cameras?

l mean, who will do the recording?

Asmi and Kavita will do the recording.

Then l have a condition too. - What is it?

Then l too shall do the recording.

Why?

Just to see what all you are recording.

We are recording the marriage. What else?

How can l know? How can l know? You may record just anything.

What if you may record my brother and sister-in-law in a..

..romantic mood? - Oh God!

We are not making a blue film of your brother and sister-in-law.

Don't talk vulgar things about my brother and sister-in-law.

They are not people of that type.

Suppose you make some such thing and sell it in the market.

Where shall l go and who shall l turn to? You only tell me.

Okay, l agree to your condition. - But..

Asmi, just think that he is the censor of our film.

But.. - Do you want to do the recording or not?

ln that case tell him to apply scent and sit next to me.

lt is insulting to a flower to apply scent and sit next to it.

And it is also an insult to oneself to sit next to a fool..

..like you.

lt will be a very good combination of this fool and that flower.

Fool and flower!

Oh God! The power supply is off!

But there is power everywhere else.

Did you pay the electricity bill or not?

Oh yes, l am the son-in-law of the electricity department..

..and get electricity for free.

Walk carefully! My new teeth are there.

l ask you why don't you keep your teeth in your mouth?

what happened? Be careful! Light something!

Does a marriage house look good when dark?

How can l light anything? Nothing can be seen.

ls there anyone here?

What will anyone say if they see us?

How will they see us? There is no light here. Come on.

Manoj! Manoj!

Manoj! - Be careful! - Oh God! My leg is broken!

Someone is incognito, someone is infamous

Who knows who it is..

Where is Piya gone? She is nowhere to be seen.

She must be dreaming about her groom.

My boy Rakesh, when will it come?

My name is Manoj, uncle! Manoj!

Whatever.. When will your electrician come?

Get lost!

Then they have to behave like kids.

Someone is taking advantage of the darkness.

Listen! Even Shalu is having an affair!

ls that true? - Yes.

How strange! There is light in every house.

lt is only our house that is completely dark.

Someone is coming?

Who is it? Wait a minute!

Why were you so late?

Sir! We went round this area three four times..

..but couldn't find your house.

Come on, replace the fuse quickly.

Everyone is sitting in the courtyard.

lt is very suffocating in there.

By the way why are you dressed like fire fighters?

They gave these costumes only, sir. - Come on, move quickly. Quick.

lt is finished. - Thank God!

What has finished, Rakesh? Nothing has happened.

My name is..

lt is Manoj and not Rakesh, uncle.

Shut up. l too said that only.

Here we go.

Superb!

Wow! This is so amazing. Fantastic! Yes!

Yes!

Wow.

Keep your eyes open, sir.

Otherwise we might record wrong things.

l want you people think this house as yours.

And my family as your family.

This fellow is going to eat into our brains sitting here.

Wow! That's very interesting.

Neeraj! Zoom the camera on Piya.

Camera number? - Three.

Here we go.

Stop there!

What's the idea?

See this. A girl!

A beautiful girl!

What might she be thinking.

..sitting in front of the mirror?

What does she think? May be she is hungry.

She wasn't given food till now.

Please! Stop your flop jokes. We are working.

What if we make a montage of this bride?

Sometimes sitting in front of the mirror, thinking something.

Sometimes looking out of window

Sometimes dreaming in the dark.

Sometimes..

Sometimes removing dandruff from her hair.

Sometimes blowing her nose.

Sometimes washing her hands after coming out of the toilet.

Sometimes..

This man is impossible.

Why? - You and your sick jokes.

Thank you, very much.

The different forms of a beautiful bride.

Her dreams, her happiness. .

And we can play a song on this montage.

Why does my mind fly away somewhere frequently these days?

Why does my mind fly away somewhere frequently these days?

Why does it leave me and fly away to someone else's home?

This house and these surroundings shall bid me goodbye

This house and these surroundings shall bid me goodbye

They say that l shall belong to somewhere else

Why is then everyone so happy?

Why is then everyone so happy?

Can someone explain this to me?

This heart of mine sees my predicament but says nothing

Why does my mind fly away somewhere frequently these days?

Why did you go for shopping with my friend?

So what?

One second. What is happening there? - You are impossible.

You don't have time for your wife.

But do you have time to roam with girl friend?

Neeraj! lncrease the sound.

Aren't you ashamed to do all this..

..in front of your family members, Rishabhh?

So what? l say, so what.

What do you mean by so what?

What is the need for you to go to shopping with my friend?

Okay, you went to shopping with her.

But what is the need for you to pay for her clothes?

What is this? Tell me.

What did you buy for me on the 13th of last month?

A credit card statement does not lie, Rishabh.

She ran out of money. That is why l paid the bill.

She is wooing you and you are encouraging her?

Then go and deal with your friend. Why are you eating my brain?

What is in her? What is in her that you became crazy about her?

All men are alike.

What do you think?

Do you think that l will let you go so easily?

l am not going to let you go so easily. Do you understand?

What will you do? What will you do?

My God! She gave a resounding slap!

So a complete family soap is going on in your home.

Extra marital affair!

ls that why you wanted to be the censor.

All of us are naked in the paths of life, madam.

The only difference is that the windows of my house are open..

..and yours are not.

The dialog is very good.

Still l have to learn a lot from you.

What is happening there?

Where? - Look there.

She is Pauji, the maid servant of our house.

Then why is doing break dance behind that wall?

Break, dance.

Hey! Look here.

Cool down! Nothing will happen.

Seems that everyone's true nature will become public.

The family is with you.

Who is he? - Calmn down.

He..

I said he with you..

..is my third brother.

Why is he crying?

Crying!

He stays with his in-laws.

He stays at his wife's house.

When he is beaten there, he comes here and cries.

When his wife beats him up, why does he still live there?

Because he gets beaten here also.

May be he likes to be beaten up by wife rather..

..than by his brother and sister-in-law.

He is like a football. He receives the kicks of both the teams.

Write it down, Kavita. Write it down.

Write down everything. You are not going to get..

..the experience of such a hit family soap again.

Hello!

Wow! Great! This idea was actually very good.

Did you get anything interesting?

So interesting that all other TV serials shall appear..

..spice-less before this.

Really! - Yes. - Come on.

Congratulations, Asmi! Your dream is going to come true.

Thank you. - Congratulations.

You too. - Na!

Wow! This is nice. Very nice! - No no, wait.

Did you see? l broke it with one shot.

Sister-in-law!

Please come with me for a minute. - What happened?

What is the matter, brother-in-law?

l want to tell you something about brother.

ls it about maid-servant's matter?

Do you know that?

Men's disloyalty cannot remain hidden from women.

We get the smell of it soon enough.

And this is not the first time either.

At Dehradun also many times. .

lnitially l used to feel bad.

But now l am habituated to it.

When he touches me in the night, l feel like he loves someone else.

What happened?

What were you doing with my brother?

Does he forcefully do it or did you seduce him?

No, Manoj sir! Why would l..

He is the one who always woos me.

Listen!

The next time he tries to do something, wherever it might be. .

..you give him a big slap.

Me? How can l do that?

Why are you scared when l am telling you?

Hit him with such a force that everyone should hear the sound.

l shall take care of the rest.

None of the family members got any doubt about the secret cameras.

But someone in the neighborhood saw our van and..

..filed a report at the police station.

Stop! Stop!

Hey!

Yes, sir! - l feel something is wrong here.

Nothing can be seen inside.

Sir! l think that this might be a terrorists' van.

So what? - So what? - Let us see. - Let us see.

You do one thing. Make them open the door.

Are you serious about it, sir?

Sir! l won't go there alone. What if they shoot me?

Am l going to stay quiet if they start firing?

l shall also shoot to cover you.

lf l depend on your cover, my back will be broken.

lnspector Mohit Shinde! - Yes, sir.

Government gives medals only after death. - Yes, sir.

Late Mohit Shinde, Parama Veera Chakra.

So don't be afraid. - Yes, sir.

Go and make them open the door. - Yes, sir.

But please try to it that l don't get the medal, sir.

l will try my level best.

Come on! Come on!

One minute, sir.

There is no door. Everything is sealed. Let's go home.

What are you saying? - Nothing, sir! Come on, let us go.

You should have some common sense.

That is the door. This is a terrorist van.

Door is on the other side. Go!

Yes, sir! Yes, sir!

Yes, sir! Hail Hanuman! Epitome of knowledge!

Hail Kapish! Who lightens the three worlds!

Hail Kapish! Who lightens the three worlds!

Hail Kapish! Who lightens the three worlds!

Hail Kapish! Who lightens the three worlds!

Hail lord Hanuman.

Open the door. - Police!

lmmediately call our producer. Quick!

Sir!

Two policemen are moving around the van.

l hope you took the permission for shooting. Didn't you?

O my God! What will happen now?

O my God! Please save us. - Open the door.

"Please help us. We are very sorry, God. "

"l don't want to go to jail."

We are very sorry, God! Please don't send me to jail.

Please save me.

Please help us, God!

Please forgive me, God!" - Don't scare.

Sorry, God. O my God!

What is going to happen now?

What happened? - l think l was shot, sir.

What? - Send my mother to take the medal, sir.

Definitely! Where were you shot?

lt must be somewhere here only, sir.

You were not shot. The shout came from inside.

Who shouted then? l think someone inside was shot, sir.

But who fired the bullet?

The bullet you fired to cover me might have injured someone.

But l didn't shoot.

Didn't you shoot? - No.

Didn't you really shoot? - No.

While l risked my life there, didn't you shoot at all?

Behave yourself. - Why didn't you shoot?

l would have died there, you know?

Do one thing. Go and open the door.

l am not a gate keeper to go and open it always.

You go and do it if you have guts.

Don't talk about guts.

You are a junior and behave like a junior.

l shall go now. Cover me.

l shall cover you as you covered me.

lnspector Shinde! - Yes, sir.

That's an order. - Yes, sir.

Hands up!

What's happening? What's all this?

Yes, yes, we..

That, yes, yes... that...

We are from the Anti-corruption bureau.

Anti-corruption bureau?!

Yes, She is officer Asmi!

We are here to watch out for corruption in this area.

Who indulges in corruption here? - People are there.

You don't know. But we keep an eye on them.

Do you have any proof to support your statement?

Proof! Officer Asmi! Please show him.

You please wait.

Just show him. Switch on the TV.

Show him.

Did you see? We are watching you also.

lf you take any bribe, your report will be sent to your..

..higher officials instantly.

Officers, relax. Relax!

These days the world is moving quite fast, lnspector.

You are still using motorcycles but we are using technology.

On the spot.

Okay! - Put your hands down.

l think you have identity cards.

Officer Asmi! Please make a call to police commissioner.

No, leave it. Don't take it too far. - lt's alright. You make the call.

What can he do? That is his duty.

Even the driving license will do if not the identity card.

You wait, sir. We will show you identity cards in just a moment.

Thank you.

Sir! This is officer Manoj speaking, sir.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Yes, fine sir.

There is an lnspector here..

What is your name? - What is there in the name?

Sir! Kande, sir. Rohit Kande.

He is asking us for our identity cards, sir.

l tried to convince him, sir. l tried a lot.

But he is asking us to bring our ration cards.

Would you like to talk to him, sir?

He is shouting! Come on, speak!

Switch it off. l understood. - Don't you want to talk?

Sir! l understood that you are from corruption bureau..

..the moment l saw your faces.

From the corrupt bureau.. From the Anti-corruption bureau.

Why wouldn't l understand your words, sir?

First take the phone.

Sir! He is saying that he understood.

Yes, without you talking to him he understood the matter.

His name is Kande, sir.

Rohit Kande. Okay, sir.

Sorry for the trouble, sir.

Thank you, sir.Jai Hind!

Sir! - Jai Hind, sir!

What is this, sir?

l was bored standing alone here.

By the way what are the demands of those terrorists?

They are not terrorists. They are nice people.

They have a lot of respect for me. - Okay.

But don't take any bribes till this van is here.

You only said that they are nice people.

Our business will end if we behave like this, sir.

Cameras are fixed.

What did you say? - Cameras!

What? - Cabaret.

ls cabaret going on inside?

Cameras! - Oh! Cameras!

Sir! Chicken! Shall we have chicken lollipops?

Cameras!

Why didn't you bring the milk to the terrace?

How dare you slap my son? How dare you do that?

How dare she. Wait, mother-in-law! Please, wait!

"Stop it, mother-in-law! l shall handle this.

She raises a pointing finger at me! What about her character?

Yes! Yes!

This house and these surroundings shall bid me goodbye

They say that l shall belong to somewhere else

Why is then everyone so happy?

Why is then everyone so happy?

Okay. lt's okay. - lt could have been better.

We are working hard, madam.

lt's so unfair! Whatever we do, they are not happy about it?

Let us have our TRP's. Then we shall also show them.

Hi! - Hi!

These people have only one control. That is TRP.

How did you like it? - Well done, Asmi! Really, well done.

Good morning, Manoj uncle! - Good morning, my child.

You might not have slept throughout the night.

Finish the breakfast quickly.

Are you mad? Why would we wakeup throughout the night?

We left everything recording ..

..and slept happily switching on the AC.

Why are you crying so early in the morning?

Your inspectors Kande sent me sweets made of chilies.

Show me what is there in it?

Very Good! You switched on the AC and slept.

But didn't you see what was recording in it?

Anyway you are here to sensor it.

Show him. Let him see what happened in his house last night.

Are we going to check the entire recording?

Show him in fast forward. Finish it quickly. - Oh!

Stop it!

He is the one who was roaming around two nights ago..

Listen! Check the jewelry in your house.

May be it was stolen last night.

Should l continue? - Yes.

Hold on. l cannot see anything in this.

Neeraj! Make it bright. - Yes, make it bright.

Neeraj! Sound!

Rahul! You were so late.

He is the same guy.

l am going to be caught one day.

lf anyone sees me here, your family members will kill me.

Rahul! Please! lt is just a matter of one day.

We would have eloped by tomorrow.

You are saying as if we are eloping the day after tomorrow.*

Last time we were almost caught. Did anyone say anything?

No. Everyone was sitting outside.

Since the lights were gone.

l bought the tickets. But what about money?

Rahul! l have arranged for fifty thousand rupees.

You don't worry. - Great!

lt would have been nice if we don't need to elope like this.

Rahul! Our family people are not going to agree for our marriage.

Yes, since you are from a rich family.

But l love you very much.

l love you. - l love you too.

You bastard!

Manoj! Manoj! What happened to you?

Nothing! - Manoj! Listen. Manoj!

What happened, uncle?

"Sit down!

Uncle, l love him so much.

l cannot live without him.

Then why did you agree for the marriage?

When did l agree to it?

All of you decided it for me.

We all? Did we force you? Torture you?

l was not tortured. But l repeatedly said that.

..l did not want to go in for this marriage.

l kept on saying it.

You must say that you did not ..

..want to marry this boy but another one.

How do we know about all this by ourselves?

l said this. - To whom?

To mummy and papa. - What did you say?

They told me that they cannot marry me off..

..where l shall never be happy.

But what do they know, where my happiness lies.

l don't know anything about this.

No one tells you anything nowadays.

ln any case, no one takes you seriously in this house.

What does this mean?

You wanted to elope, then why all this marriage drama?

Don't you value your family's prestige?

Just two days are left for the marriage.

Nothing can be done now.

Had there been a week or so..

..l could have spoken to Piya bhabhi.

But now we cannot say no to the groom's family.

People have traveled all the way everything is arranged.

Even the invitations have been sent.

Now what do we tell them?

Tell them to handover the invitation back..

..because we want to change the groom's name in it.

l can die, but cannot agree for this marriage.

Dear..

What is all this so called Love?

Look at everyone around.

One year after marriage, and everything is over.

Everything becomes normal.

Look at your Rishabh uncle and Rekha aunty.

She too had a love marriage.

Now they are thirsty for each other's blood.

Even if its not a love marriage, it all begins with love.

Then its all over. Children, family, money matters and all.

Uncle, my love is not like that.

ls your love an extraordinary one?

All say this same thing.

You will be very happy with that boy. l have met him.

You both make a wonderful pair.

He looks like Aamir Khan.

And you too look like a heroine along with him.

Didn't you watch that movie, 'Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak'.

They were looking so sweet. Do you remember?

Uncle, they too had sacrificed themselves for love.

Even their families did not agree to their marriage.

You are just arguing for the sake of it.

Okay, okay, its fine. Let me think. l'll do something.

But just cancel all your plans to elope.

What's his name? -Rahul.

Rahul, huh!

Everyone watches Shahrukh Khan's movies..

..then they have children and name them as in the movies.

They just don't give a thought to it that..

..once they grow up, they would even surpass Romeo.

Uncle, he was born much before Shahrukh's film.

You have this one very bad habit.

You just argue for the sake of it.

Uncle, they too had sacrificed themselves for love.

Even their families did not agree to their marriage.

You are just arguing for the sake of it.

Very dramatic.

But it's of no use to us.

Of no use at all.

You mean, she has two days left for her marriage..

..and is in love with someone else.

No, it cannot happen.

lt just cannot happen.

But it is so.

The audience will never accept it.

First of all, its love.

And then this girl..

..who is ready to elope with her lover.

No ways.

The audience are going to reject it outright.

Which means no TRP's.

And if no TRP's, there's no show.

But these kind of movies have been a hit..

..where the heroine is in love with someone else..

..and her family fix up her marriage with someone else.

And then, the hero and heroine both elope.

For your kind information..

..its not some love story here.

Marriage is the theme here.

lt's a family entertainment show, madam.

You know, don 't give them the wrong ideas.

Because they are gonna hate you and your show.

But..

C'mon, let's assume that you want to make a love story.

Do you have any scene, where the hero..

..meets the heroine for the first time.

Do you have any scene, where the hero proposes?

Do you have such a scene, ..

..where the family turn's out to be the villain.

That's a different type of story.

And that should've been, if at all, done long back.

This story is about a marriage. Right?

And if there's no marriage, then no show.

And that's final.

Oh God!

Why are we such liars?

Why don't we show that which is life?

We show them that which is just the opposite.

There's no hunger, no poverty in our world.

You are thinking all this sitting here in the luxurious AC car.

Just ask those who are rotting in that heat out there..

..what they wish for.

Don't worry so much, Asmi.

Ultimately, we are all the one and the same.

Eunuchs! - Hmm!

Yes.

We elect and bring such people to the Parliament..

..who care a damn for us.

When the time comes to pay them the bribe money..

..we create a ruckus out of it.

But no thoughts when accepting bribe.

Till when will all this go on?

Till this country goes on.

We were like this, we are like this..

..we shall always remain like this.

What do we do of Piya's love story?

We will have to do what they want us to.

You speak to Manoj.

Manoj's niece has made him agree to her point.

Now he says that, if he really loves Piya, then even he..

Then when will your magic work, Asmi?

What?

Didn't you notice that he has fallen for you?

What are you saying?

Trap him, Asmi.

Little more than his niece.

lf his niece wins, then we are doomed.

"Till evening, TRP..."

"I will dance"

No, not this.

Show me something for the marriage.

Yes.

Thank you very much.

You, here in Mumbai.

lt's said that the world is round.

Though you try to escape, you are caught.

Where have you put up?

At your grand daughter's, would be groom's place.

l am his grandmother, Suresh.

Finally l succeeded in building a relationship with you.

You are his grandmother. - Yes.

No one told me about it.

What would you have done, had l informed you earlier?

Don't rub salt on my wound.

ls the wound still there?

Even after 42 years?

lt's fine that l met you.

l was thinking of visiting your place, this evening.

Now, l shall join you.

Won't you take me home?

l, now..

lf you don't wish, l won't come.

l am now..

lf you want then l won't even come on for the marriage.

You are from the boy's side.

How can l upset you?

Come. - Come.

Hi Manoj! How do you do?

Hi Manoj! How are you doing?

Welcome aboard.

Oh!

May I?

Thank you. - Welcome.

Two iris. - Sure ma'am.

lt's wonderful.

Work pressures don't permit me to go out and enjoy.

You know what l mean.

Be careful, boss.

This girl is trying to trap you.

Yeah,

l know.. l know.

'He dresses up just like a punk.'

You look so handsome today. - Do l?

'He can't carry a simple conversation, idiot.'

'This dimwit has ruined my whole evening.'

lt's because l design them.

lt feels so great, really.

Yeah, feels so great.

Shall we sit? - What? - Sit? - Yes.

Here.

Okay.

This is the table. - Oh.

Shaking.

Actually.

What will you do now? The wedding won't happen now.

The wedding has to happen.

Sir. - Talk to Piya once.

But..

Oh! - Uncouth moron.

Don't get nervous.

This..

l will get you another drink, sir. - No. lt's ok.

Let's dance. - Yes..

..No, no, no! - Come, let's dance.

Yeah, let's dance. - Fine, you are like that.

He is jumping like a monkey.

Come, let's go back.

Well dance. - No, no, l am just warming up.

Come, let's go.

It's shaking.

She is trying to get closer.

Manoj, you will have to do this for me.

What? - You will have to convince Piya.

How can l do that?

She was so small, she used to play in my lap wearing knickers.

Dimwit moron.

That's why, Manoj. That is precisely why.

lf not you who will be concerned about her happiness? - Yes.

Well this love has no meaning.

A couple of years into marriage are enough for it to vanish.

Everything becomes the same afterwards.

Be it a love marriage or otherwise, everyone starts with love.

And then everything ends.

Kids, household chores and the works, you know.

l had said this. - That's what l am saying.

You know how many times did l rewind and watched this scene?

Ten times.

And now l happen to know this dialogue of yours by heart.

lt brings tears to my eyes.

One poor uncle is trying to convince his niece.

But she refuses to relent. She is very adamant.

But the prestige of the family is at stake for the uncle.

What will people say? How will the world react?

The niece ran away with another boy before her wedding..

..and that too on the national network?

And that too in front of 40 crore public?

Disgusting.

How will your aged father feel?

How will you godlike brother..

..and your goddess like sister-in-law feel?

Just think, Manoj.

Yeah, very right.

No.. but Rahul loves Piya and..

..perhaps you are right.

l don't seem to understand what l should do.

Asmi.. - Yes.

..your zip is a bit loose.

l ..

I can't make Piya unhappy.

Moron!

Nonsense. A bill of 1300..

..and to top it, my best dress' zip also came loose.

Zip? What zip?

What should we do now?

Seems my dream will remain mere dreams.

Think something, Kavita. Think something.

What sort of a writer are you?

l have an idea. - What?

Had the story been stuck where it is presently stuck..

..this would have been my next scene.

The biggest bitch of the girl's colony.. mind it. - Yes.

..comes to know of her plans to elope.

She would go and tell all this to her family members.

Then? - Then what?

After that her family will directly deal with her.

Wow!

Wow! What an idea!

You are too good. You are genius.

But which is such a female in this colony?

lt's so simple.

When it comes to light up a fire at someone else's house..

..every woman of a colony is the biggest of the bitch.

Very bad!

What? How do you know that?

Don't bother about that, uncle. Bother about Piya.

Don't tell this to anyone else.

What are you saying? lt's just like my house.

Why would l go and tell this to anyone?

Come inside, Piya. C'mon in for a minute.

l will hit you so much that you will forget the name of love.

Right now only l know of it.

Your father will kill you, if he comes to know of it.

A little liberty has given you wings?

l had warned you not to meet him. Why did you no pay heed to it?

Your wedding is scheduled after two days. You will bring disgrace to us.

How did father come to know of it?

Did you tell him? - How can we?

Even our secret will come out in the open.

What's big deal in it?

Someone in the colony must have got a whiff of it.

Father can you come upstairs for a moment? l need to talk to you.

What happened?

l will take your leave now. lf l stay back for one more day..

..my daughter will say l have taken shelter at the girl's place.

Where is Suresh? - He is upstairs.

Don't tell brother about Piya.

How do you know?

l know it from the beginning.

Oh! l was also thinking, what made Piya dare to do that.

lt was you who were encouraging her.

You are such a hag ..

..to betray your own brother?

Such a brother who feeds you, gives you shelter.

You do no work.

You no gooder.. good for nothing.

You enjoy on your brother's earnings and betray the same brother.

Hit him, oldster. Bring this betrayer back to his senses.

Don't go, auntie.

You should rather watch this drama.

Manoj!

You are such a dual faced person. Not l but you are betraying your own

Manoj! - l will come later.

No, wait and see.

See that person who had ditched you 40 years ago.

Manoj! -Don't shout. A scene will be created in the whole house.

Do you still remember it?

We have just heart of your tales.

You must have undergone that pain.

Both of you loved each other, didn't you?

Your families refused the wedding..

..and both of you wanted to elope but didn't. Why?

Because my father lacked the courage.

After that he married my mother.

But he didn't have courage to love her even.

He kept running away from her all his life.

Don't know whether his tears were real or not when she died.

And today, wants to repeat it by strangulating..

..his grand daughter's happiness.

Today, when she wants to run away with her love, he wants to stop her.

Fine, father.

l am a no-gooder.

That l survive on others' bread.

But l am not a coward like you.

l can't stop my crying, Asmi.

Don't cry, Kavita. Don't.

Don't you feel like crying after watching this?

We are done with this show if this oldster changes his mind.

And that is when l won't be able to stop my crying.

Yes.

We are so heartless, aren't we? - Yes, Kavita.

We were, we are ...

...and we will continue to remain the same.

Does Piya love someone else?

Piya will be married only to your grandson.

Just the way l was married to someone else.

And you were married to some one else.

All these are old topics, Rati.

ln the same manner, even this will become an old topic.

lsn't it?

How can we break a wedding that is scheduled for tomorrow?

Perhaps you are right.

Do you know, Suresh, what l wish for?

l wish Piya to run away.

That will make me feel being absolved of my sins.

The groom is my grandson but still l wish Piya to run away.

She will not. - l know.

l know, if people like you and me decide, no Piya can ever run away.

But still ...

...what's the harm in seeing a dream today..

..which couldn't be turned to reality 42 years back?

Yeah, l will do that.

l will do that. l will call.

Asmi. - Yes?

Thinking something? - No.. no.

'Not thinking, stupid.

l am dreaming. l have been called by Yash Chopra.'

'Asmi, we had seen your TV show. lt is wonderful.'

'How about doing a movie with us? - Thank you, sir.'

'l have a script..'

'..but it suits only Shahrukh Khan.'

'Ok, no problem. Anyone else?'

'Well, how about Amitabh Bachchan..'

'..in another important role? - No problem. Done.'

'And heroine?'

'Heroine.. well..'

You? - Can I come?

'lf you ask me standing at my door, l am not going to shoo him off.'

l am here to break my contract with you.

Here, take this money back and tear the contract.

But everything is going according to plan.

Yes, for you all. Not for me.

Don't be crazy. Five lakhs is too big an amount.

l know, but my pockets are torn. Where will l keep them?

What will l too if my heart also tears apart handling that money?

This isn't some film where you can speak such cheap dialogues.

l say even cheaper dialogues in my real life.

But that's all. l say cheap dialogues but l don't do cheap deeds.

You mustn't be having the contract here, right?

Give this to your producer. Here, keep this. Tear it.

And don't worry. l am not going to interfere in your work.

Go ahead with the telecast of your show.

Because the end of the show will be different now.

Means? - Means Piya will run away now..

..and l am going to help her do that.

And your family people will keep watching it, right?

They will watch it..

..you will also watch it and the whole world will watch it on TV.

lt you want, let have a bet. Piya will not go in for this marriage.

He is a crackpot of a man.

'My first film will be a hit. Super duper hit.'

'Then three of my films will be hits one after the other.'

'And then l will make a film..'

'..on a real story.

A film based on real life people.'

'l have to win award too, am l not?'

'And this year the Oscar goes to Asmi Ganatra.'

l've got it.

l have got the idea! Our stunt master!

Cut it. Pan to the left.

Why did you bring the clap in between?

Fix it.

We haven't got the clothes yet.

And they call themselves to be the producers.

Tappu Bhai. - Oh, producer!

You seemed to have remembered me after a long time.

Give me your hand. Get up.

What's this, man? And you.. you go and get the shot ready. - Yes.

What's the matter? Things not happening?

You were flat in just one hand?

That's why l am here. - Great! Bless you!

No problems! Tell me the date..

..and the scene and l will be there.

The date is tomorrow and there is no scene.

What are you saying?

Look, l have stopped to work without a bound script.

This isn't that type of shooting?

Then what type of shooting is it?

lt will involve a fight first and shooting later.

This poor guy is unnecessarily getting hassled.

He is totally unaware of our plans.

Whatever it is, this guy has courage.

Give way!

Move aside!

Move aside, let me also see.

l used to watch in the movies and wonder from where this sound comes.

Today l have come to know that this is the Mumbai style of bashing.

Take care. Carefully.

What's matter? - He is upstair, Okay.

Where are you going? - lt is important.

But stop.. how can you go inside? - Just a minute.

What does that mean? Stop.

Who bashed you up? - Four goons.

They bashed him badly with warnings that if he dares..

..look towards Piya again, they will kill him.

But my family members will never do such a thing.

Oh!

l see.. this producer.. - Producer?

Listen, l had come to tell that Piya will..

..meet you at Uncle's Kitchen in Malad at 8:00 pm.

Be it Uncle's Kitchen or Aunty's, he is not going anywhere.

Rahul, tell him that you don't want their Piya.

She loves you, man.

8:00 pm sharp. Okay?

So you are trying to rule Piya's life now?

You are getting her boyfriend bashed up?

A conspiracy in our colony?

We didn't do anything like that.

So you have started to speak lies as well. Great progress in three days.

What will happen if this show is not aired on TV? A little more struggle?

Possible you can never become a director.

But you want to achieve all that by ruining a girl's life?

Just shut up and get out.

Ok.

Sorry.. l am sorry.

Asmi, l am sorry. l shouldn't have shouted at you.

l was just wondering if l was mistaken.

Then l realized you are right.

Brother, father, sister-in-law, all of you are right.

Traditions also have their importance.

Do you remember Amitabh Bachhan's dialogue in..

..'Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gam'?

We can break everything but not the traditions.

Have you returned the money?

You will get the money. Don't worry.

l thought l have lost it. l want that money. Five lakhs is a big amount.

Will you have tea?

Get some tea, Kavita. - Not here.

Don't you get bored in this tinbox? Let's go out somewhere.

C'mon. - Ok.

l will be back in some time. - Ok.

Come on! - Not this way. There.

See that hen there.

Oh, you have fallen. These cows..

..they just relieve themselves everywhere.

What will you do now? You will have to take bath now.

How will you go home in these clothes?

My house is nearby. Come there and have a bath.

What about the clothes? What will you wear?

Anyway, wear Neela Bhabhi's clothes. l will explain it to her.

Come. Don't keep standing. The whole of colony will stink. - Ok.

Don't touch me. Maintain distance. Come.

The sari is good but.. - Oh, the oldster.

He is a dangerous guy. Turn yourself into a grand old woman.

What? - Killing with eyes.

Who? - Cover your face. Come.

But why? - Careful. Don't try to run. - l can't see anything.

You will break your leg.

Cover your face. Let's escape.

Rakesh, who is she? - Yes.

Who? - She.

Oh, she is our distant grandma.

Hide face. - Grandma? - Greetings!

But she doesn't look so old. - From outside.

lf you watch her from inside, she is 95.

She slaps me out of love. She loves me a lot, my grandma!

Gone mad. - What rubbish are you talking?

What?

She is saying, there is nothing left to see, outside the veil.

May God call her back in her veil itself.

Good thinking.

What's your name? - Rakesh.

She will go to heaven, directly.

By the way, l want to pass on a secret to you today.

Tell me.

l am thinking of changing my name. Rakesh doesn't suit me.

Have you taken the priest's advice?

Yeah. He asked me to change it to Manoj.

This name is also good. - Not only good but very good.

So from today, my name is? - Manoj.

Shall l take your leave? l have to take her to the bathing ghat.

Come.

Come.

Bathing ghat?

Hey, did you go to drink tea or shopping.

l fell on a cow-dung. - Cow dung?

Yuck.

Thank God, l'd gone along with her.

Had you been there, you would have fainted.

But that smell was so horrible,

l have never smelt it before.

By the way isn't Asmi-ji looking good in this attire?

Yeah, that's true..

Exactly like Juhi Chawla from 'Qyamat se Qyamat tak'.

What are you saying? Juhi Chawla is nothing before her.

Okay, l'll show you a very nice film now.

A film? - Yes, l shot it just minutes ago.

lt's a very nice scene.

Please play it for us.

l got that scene too.

How dare you? - Hey..

How dare you? l'll kill you.

Hey that's enough. - l'll kill you.

Give me the tape.

l'll kill you..

You'll kill me.. you really don't know how to say a dialogue.

You stupid, fool, l'll kill you.

l'll bury your heart in the cow dung.

Give it to me, give me that tape. - Enough..

Leave me.

How does is feel Asmi-ji, when your own medicine is used on you.

And when l'll give this tape to my cable-guy..

What? -l won't make a deal with him.

What will l do with so much money?

After all you are giving me five lakhs.

l'll file a complaint against you.

Should l call, inspector Kande?

Why did you get that poor Rathi beaten up?

l did not. - But you didn't even stop, you didn't object to it.

But.. what could l do?

l'm sorry; l had to do all this.

But l'd like to tell you something,

we all vulnerable..

You, me and everyone.

Here keep this with you.

Some people have the habit of being right, just as this idiot is.

The wedding procession is at the door steps..

..and he wants to take off with the bride.

Because she loves some one else.

Think about it. Think about the family. To hell with your family.

Think about our multi-million budgeted serial.

What about me?

There are times in your life where...

...you can't simply sit quiet.

You have to do something. You have to take decisions.

What does this idiot think, that he'll take off with the bride..

..and l'll just keep watching?

Piya!

Sister-in-law, l'm taking Piya along with me.

Where? - Where she should be.

Where should she be?

We don't have much time.

l'm taking her to that person with whom she..

..should be in this bridal dress.

Come on Piya!

Let's go Kitty.

Piya, Manoj!

What are you doing?

What we all should do, sister-in-law.

Manoj,..

..you are doing the right thing.

Run away as far as you can, l won't tell any one.

Now go..

Uncle..

We are going, stop us if you can.

l'm with you.

Come and sit..

Thanks.

You look beautiful in sister-in-law's saree.

l wish l had someone with whom l could run away.

Uncle, l'll search one for you.

What will you search for me?

Will a girl like her do?

Wow, do you like her? - Yes, very much.

Should l speak to her about it? - Yes. No.

She'll bite your head off.

Sister-in-law, Piya is not in her room.

What?

She's not in her room. - What?

Piya has absconded,..

..now what will we do?

What will we tell the groom's parents?

lt's already eight thirty, why hasn't he come yet?

Do you know his number? - Yes.

Dial me the number then.

Hello, who's speaking? Rahul, it's me Manoj.

Where are you?

You are still there, we have reached here already.

Yes, where we had decided to meet.

Hello?

What.. what are you saying?

l should ask her to get married?

Have you lost your mind?

Hello.. listen, don't you love her?

Hello.. hello..

He won't come.

Come sit,..

..we'll go home.. come sit..

Piya,..

..Piya Stop!

..Piya.. ..Piya..

Piya has returned home.. she has come back.

she has come back.

Hey, Listen Shekhar..

Hey wait..

Why does he keep falling all the time?

What happened?

What has happened to you?You can question her later..

The groom's procession is already here, get her ready.

Sister, l think sister-in-law is illiterate..

..she has pulled her veil so low.

Then why don't you lift it away after all..

..she's you sister-in-law, Poonam! - Should l take it off? Okay then..

Hey not so soon..

..first let them finish their 'Saat Phere'(seven rounds)

Not here there..

Oh sorry.. sorry.. - Not again.

These are not sandalwood sticks.. - Everyone is in a hurry.

lt's pure sandalwood Pandit-ji!

No it's not; it's emitting too much smoke.

Otherwise this ghee is not of good quality.

Pandit-ji, we'll contribute for your fees too.

Please don't side the only the groom's party.

"Chants"

Why don't you see the girls face?

ls there any problem?

What has happened to your face?

Did somebody hit you?

Piya, Piya..

Pandit-ji, one minute..

Son, the auspicious moment is passing by.

So let it go.

Get up.. l wish to talk to Piya alone..

Piya, come.

Hey where are you taking her?

Now what does he want to talk about?

What happened?

Now tell me, what had happened to you face?

Listen, if something has happened, then l want to know.

l want to know because l'm marrying you.

And l will be spending the rest of my life with you.

Are you.. are you a cranky girl?

Then what, from the moment you've met me, you've been crying.

l'd met with an accident.

Accident? Where?

Piya, say anything but the truth.

No Kavita, let the truth come out in today..

lt does matter what happens after that.

Piya, please don't lie to me.

Listen l don't want begin a relation with a lie.

l had ran away from home..

Hey you eat chocolates? l used to eat it earlier.

Even

But let me tell you one thing..

..they really take a heavy toll on your teeth.

l paid twenty thousand rupees to the dentist..

..to make them look good for the wedding.

Dentists are robbers, l tell you, really.

l have never eaten chocolates worth twenty thousand.

Nice.

So what about our wedding?

You love someone else but you want to marry me?

l was against this marriage.

Okay, alright.. relax..

We won't get married,..

..if you want you can call the person you love..

l don't want to get married to him too, l hate him..

..he has deceived me.

Piya, l

don't love you,..

..not until now.

We don't know each other very much.

But believe me; l'd thought that...

...we've been already married.

And the household that l had dreamt about,

you were there with me.

When l saw your photo sent for my alliance, l got it scanned..

..and had it enlarged on my computer.

And do you know what l used to do every night before sleeping.

Before sleeping l used to kiss you on that computer.

And if l wish to kiss you now..

You know Piya;

you are such a beautiful girl.

And that's a cat,..

..you know, l hate cats but what the heck..

That's so nice,..

..nice.. ..nice cat..

Piya, you look good when you laugh. Don't cry. Okay.

You see l cannot take a crying bride to my house.

Because l don't want you to cry when you are dropping rice..

.. content vessel, it doesn't look nice,..

..please answer me.

What we wanted, we got everything.

Bride, bridegroom, rituals, customs fun, music, songs..

But along with that we got something else too..

One uncle having an affair with a servant.

A grandfather, trying out new ways of Kamasutra at the age of 67..

A bride running away for her beloved.

But finally marries the guy with whom it had been arranged.

So many things happened in this wedding.

We wanted to cover only the wedding but got much more.

We wanted 'Saat Phere' instead we got '7 1/2 Phere'.

Now this is what l call brilliant.

Wonderful, marvelous.

Thank you, ma'am! Thank you.

You, you've done it. Congratulations!

ln the market of entertainment, wedding takes the top slot.

Every marriage ritual is sold in millions.

A seller knows that he's selling much more than a wedding.

'7 1/2 Phere' sell more than 'Saat Phere.'

Seller sells only those things that are bought by people.

Whether it is a fresh news or dirty dancing of a music video.

Whether it is a Page 3 parties or suicide attempting farmers.

We sell what the buyers buy.

Then it doesn't matter whether it is more or less.

She worked very hard.

Asmi, what are you doing?

What are you doing? - l don't believe this.

Somebody stop her..

You wanted a wedding, you got it.

Then why do you want things that happened beyond the wedding?

lt will be fun, the audience will like it.

What about the girl's father, who will be heart broken?

What about the humiliation her family will have to bear?

And what about the girl, who has just settled in her new life?

Who cares? - Yeah why should we care?

You may not care but l care.

What are you doing, have you gone crazy?

We all are not eunuchs, and if were ...

...and we are then some has to change.

She's lost it, she's lost it.

She's gone mad.

l used to be mad but l'm sane now.

Asmi..

Oh My God!

We all get a chance to be a hero once in a while.

And it feels good to be a hero too. But later..

l was fired. What was the need for me to act like a hero?

Okay Kavita,..

..so that's it.

The show was prepared very nicely, Asmi and the credit goes to you.

Thanks.

Are you joining somewhere else?

Who will take me? The news must have spread like fire..

Beware of that director, she snips off her own creation.

lt's all because of that idiot Manoj, l wish l hadn't met him at all.

What have l done to you?

There's nothing left to be done, now.

You keep bumping in to me purposely.

Seeing you, l lose my sanity.

My legs slip off their own accord.

Should l ask her? - Get aside.

What if she hits me?

What are you doing tonight l mean in the evening? - Why?

We'll go out somewhere, have dinner.

Are you flirting with me?

No, no..

You know l'm married, l'm a married woman.

You were teasing me, weren't you?

She makes me laugh too much..

l don't know why l suddenly felt that l liked meeting Manoj.

Of course, l'd like to make movies too.

And l might make movies which have...

...stars shining brighter in the sky.

And the moon hiding behind the clouds.

What the heck, you want entertainment?

So be it.. entertainment..