Original subtitles

♪♪

In the year 1836,

Messrs Chapman and Hall, the publishers,

paid the vast sum of 14 pounds a month

to a comparatively obscure young journalist of 24 years of age

to write a series of comic adventures

around an imaginary club and the misadventures of its members.

His name was Charles Dickens,

and he obliged by creating The Pickwick Club,

forthwith bestowing immortal fame

upon this little gentleman you now see before you,

Mr Samuel Pickwick himself.

So now pray silence for his noble and poetic

fellow Pickwickian and club secretary,

Mr Augustus Snodgrass.

In view of the success of the paper just read to us

by our honourable chairman, Mr Samuel Pickwick,

entitled "Speculations on the Source of the Hampstead Ponds

With Some Observations on the Theory of Tittlebats",

I wish to move the motion

that he should now enlarge his sphere of observation

by journeying forth into the length and breadth of England

accompanied by Mr Tracy Tupman,

the club authority on matters of romantic conquest,

Mr Nathaniel Winkle,

the all-round sportsman of the group, and myself.

I second this motion.

Mr Wardle?

As a guest of this distinguished club,

I hereby extend my hospitality to Mr Pickwick

when so ever his explorations take him to Kent,

where I'll insist on him putting up at Dingley Dell Farm

as my honoured guest.

Mrs Leo Hunter.

Thank you. And as another honoured guest,

I hereby extend my invitation to Mr Pickwick

when his literary pilgrimage brings him to Etonsville,

at which time I shall arrange

one of my celebrated literary breakfasts in his honour.

Here, here.

Well, off they go, Mrs Bardell.

- Good-bye, my fine little lad. - Good-bye, Mr Pickwick.

Good-bye, Mrs Bardell.

Good-bye, Mr Pickwick, and a safe journey.

Thank you, thank you.

♪♪

Ah, cabman, to the Golden Cross.

♪♪

- How old is that horse, cabman? - 42.

42? Extraordinary!

I really must make a note of that

for our next meeting of the club.

I say, does he ever suffer from fatigue?

Only when we take him out of the cab.

Then he always falls down.

But when he's in it, we bear him up very tight

and take him in when it's cold,

and we got a pair of large prize wheels on,

so that when he moves, they run after him.

He has to keep up, he can't help it.

Bless my soul. Verification cab number 924.

42.

♪♪

Mr Tupman, Mr Snodgrass, Mr Winkle,

Mr Pickwick. All ready for fay eh?

Here's your fare.

That for your shilling,

and I request the pleasure of fighting you for it.

- Come on, stick up your hands. - What?

- Must be mad. - Or drunk.

Or both.

Come on, all four of you.

Come, control yourself, now.

Here's a lark. Go to work on him, Sam.

What's the riot, man?

Would you believe that a common informer,

that a man would use a man's cab,

and not only take his number down,

but every word he says into the bargain?

Did he now?

Yes he did.

Then agitates me into assault

and then gets three witnesses here to prove it.

I'll get even with him, even if I do six months.

Come on!

Stay! Hold! Desist! Enough! What's the commotion?

My dear sir, my name is Pickwick. Samuel Pickwick.

I'm chairman of the Pickwick Club,

of which these gentlemen happen to be honoured members and my friends.

I was merely making a few notes on the extreme age

and singular habits of this cabman's horse,

it being our custom in the club to collect and comment upon

anything we find particularly interesting,

- when he without any... - He's an informer!

What? Respected gentleman. Know him well. What's your number?

- 924. - Take some off, 924 before...

None of your nonsense. Step this way sir.

All a mistake. Never mind. Never say die.

Worse things happened at sea.

Jingle's the name, sir. Alfred Jingle, Esquire.

Step this way, sir. Now come along now.

That's right. Stand back there, please.

Straight the way through, sir. That's right. That's right.

Little weak in the knees, sir? Natural reaction.

Recover in no time. There.

I'm well adjusted to the strange mutability of human affairs, sir.

A philosopher, sir?

- An observer of human nature, sir. - So am I. Poet too?

No. My friend Mr Snodgrass has a strong poetic turn.

So have I.

Ah, change for a fiver, waiter?

- No, no, my dear sir. I'll privilege... - What will it be, sir?

I insist.

Well, if you insist.

- Your heath, sir. - And yours, gentlemen.

Fine girl. Not a patch on the Spanish, though.

Ah, noble creatures.

Jet hair, black eyes, lovely forms, sweet creatures. Beautiful.

You have been in Spain, sir?

Second home.

Many conquests, sir?

Thousands. Don Bolaro Fizzgig. Grandee.

Only daughter. Donna Christina. Loved me to distraction.

Jealous father. Handsome Englishman.

Donna Christina in despair. Prussic acid.

Oh.

Stomach pump in portmanteau. Saved life.

Oh Bolaro in ecstasies. Consent to union.

Romantic story, very.

Is the lady in England now, sir?

Dead, sir. Dead.

- Dead, sir? - Dead.

What cause, sir?

Never recovered from the stomach pump. Undermined constitution.

And her father?

Remorse and misery. Suddenly disappeared. Not a trace.

Her public fountain in Main Square, suddenly ceased to play.

Workmen employed to clean it.

Father-in-law discovered sticking head first in main pipe.

Full confession in right boot.

Most singular, my dear sir.

Will you allow me to note that little romance down, sir?

Certainly, sir. Certainly. 50 more if you care to hear.

Strange life, mine. Only one ambition left.

Always wanted to settle down in Demerara, West Indies.

Perfect climate. Pineapple rum.

Gentlemen planter. Elegant. Very.

Ah, the coach.

- My luggage. - Here it is, sir.

Ah. Thank you. Of course, that's not all.

Rest has gone on ahead by water.

Packing cases as big as houses.

Now, where are you bound for, sir?

To the Bull Inn, Rochester, sir.

The Bull Inn, Rochester? Why, so am I.

Excellent food. Be my guest, sir. I insist.

- After you, sir. - Oh no, no, sir.

- I insist. A privilege. Thank you sir.

♪♪

The objects of the Pickwick club.

Why, I do believe Mr Winkle has fallen asleep.

Good gracious, so has Mr Snodgrass.

Ah, mulled wine. Excellent.

Waiter, fill up all around. No expense spared.

In vino veritas. No heel taps.

- Ah, you were saying, thus. - Was I? - Mmm.

Oh, yes, yes. The objects of the Pickwick club.

To study human nature and to be of service to it.

Ever vigilant.

What's going on upstairs, waiter? Lamps, glasses, harps?

A ball, sir, in aid of charity.

Tickets at the bar, sir. Half a guinea.

Half guinea? Reasonable.

Many fine women in this town, do you know, sir?

Devastating. Everyone knows Kent.

Apples, cherries, hops, women.

Could we go to the ball, Mr Pickwick?

Beginning, fiddles tuning, now the harps.

Off they go!

Ladies, God bless them.

Oh, I should like to go very much. Very much.

So should I. Confounded luggage. No rag to back.

No money till bank opens in the morning. Provoking. Very.

I should be happy not only to take you as my guest

- No, no, please, please, please. - But I insist.

And also to lend you a suit of mine for the occasion.

But you are rather slim, and I...

Rather fat. A Bacchus dismounted from tub.

Have some wine.

I was about to observe that a suit of my friend

Mr Winkle would perhaps fit you better.

He has a new blue coat with the club buttons.

His own invention,

and not yet officially in use by the rest of us.

Just the thing.

Let music be the food of love.

Play on. Give me excess of it.

Et cetera and so forth.

After you, sir.

- Music -

Charming group. Pompous doctor. Army. Gaudy.

Lady in black, ageing widow. Lots of money.

The first chance to get our dance with widow.

Doctor's nose out of joint. Entertaining. Very.

Do you know the lady, sir?

Never saw her in my life.

Your servant, ma'am. Jingle's the name.

Lord Alfred Jingle. Link major the 33rd.

May I have the honour of this dance? So charming, please, may I?

Oh well.

And what is the name, my lovely?

Budger.

Budger. Any relation to Colonel Budger?

♪♪

Sir, my name is Slammer.

Dr Slammer, sir. 97th regiment, Chatham Barracks.

My card, sir, my card.

Ah, much obliged.

Not sick at the moment, Slammer. When I am, look you up.

Sir, you're a shuffler, a poltroon, a coward, a liar.

Will nothing induce you to give me your card, sir?

I see. Too much claret cup.

Elderly gentlemen, hot rooms. Very foolish. Suffer in morning.

Lemonade much safer.

You are intoxicated now, sir.

You shall hear from me in the morning, sir.

I shall find you out, sir. I shall find you out.

Possible. I doubt very much if you'll find me in.

♪♪

Mr Winkle.

Mr Winkle. Mr Winkle.

The Boots informs me that a gentleman in the coffee room

is asking for you with great insistence!

For me?

It's the gentleman who owns the blue dress coat with the guilt buttons sir.

♪♪

This is the gentleman what owns the blue coat, sir.

Sir, allow me to introduce my -

You will not be surprised when I tell you I have

called here on behalf of my friend, Dr Flammer of the 97th.

Dr Flammer of the who?

My friend Dr Flammer commissioned me to say

that should you plead the excuse of intoxication

for your behaviour last night...

Intoxication? Mr Winkle? Never.

He will consent to accept a written apology

to be penned by you from my dictation.

- A written apology? - For what, sir?

Yes, for what?

I was not present myself, sir.

The matter is between yourself and Dr Flammer.

You are aware of course that the alternative

to an apology is a duel.

- A duel? - A duel.

A duel?

May I have a word with my friend?

Mr Pickwick. This is a nightmare.

I did wear my blue coat last night.

It was lying on the floor this morning.

I must have taken too much wine,

changed my coat, gone somewhere and insulted someone.

And this is the terrible consequence.

My dear sir.

Shall I write the apology?

Can you as a man of honour?

You feel I should accept the challenge?

As a gentleman, you have no choice.

Absolutely none?

Absolutely none.

Then you know best, I hope.

Sir, my friend accepts the challenge.

Shall we say sunset this evening, sir?

Shall we, Mr Winkle? We shall, sir.

If you will come to Fort Pitt, I will meet you there

I will take you to a secluded place

where the affair can be conducted without fear of interruption.

- Good morning, sir. - Good morning.

You will need a second, Mr Winkle.

Shall I?

I should be honoured to attend you.

- Thank you. - Not at all.

Course of friendship, sir.

♪♪

Will he be a good shot, this doctor?

Most of these military men are. But so are you, are you not?

Sometimes.

You've always given me to understand

that you have a very nimble arm with firearms.

Mr Pickwick, if I fall, you will find in a packet

you will find in a packet which I shall place in your hands

a letter for my father.

I shall deliver it in person.

Mr Pickwick, if this should come to the ears of the authorities,

you might be transported for life as an accessory to the fact.

In the cause of friendship, I would brave all dangers.

Mr Pickwick, I must not be prevented from fighting this duel.

You must not give information to the local authorities.

Do not obtain the assistance of several peace officers

to take either me or Dr Slammer into custody.

I say, do not.

Not for the world.

♪♪

There's nothing more to be said, I think, sir.

An apology has been resolutely declined.

Yes, sir, it has.

They are loaded. Do you object to using them?

Certainly not, sir.

We may place our men, then, I think.

Yes, I think we may.

Be calm, my dear fellow, and shoot only to wing him.

In 15 seconds precisely, upon the command,

20 paces, turn and fire.

One, two, three, four.

Are you sure you have that letter, Mr Pickwick?

Yes, yes, my dear fellow. Concentrate on the matter at hand!

Who are you?

What's all this? That's not the man!

Not the man?

- Not the man? Not the man?

- Certainly not! - Extraordinary.

Most extraordinary.

I'm not the man. I know it.

Then why didn't you say so, sir?

Yes, sir. Why didn't you say so?

Because, sir, you ascribed intoxication,

an ungentlemanly behaviour to a person wearing a coat,

which I not only have the honour to own, but to have invented -

the proposed uniform of the Pickwick Club of London.

The honour of that uniform I felt bound to maintain,

and I therefore without enquiry

accepted the challenge, which you offered me.

Oh, Mr Winkle. Bravo.

My dear sir, I honour your gallantry.

I beg you won't mention it, sir.

I shall feel proud of your acquaintance, sir.

It will afford me the greatest of pleasure to know you sir.

- I think we may adjourn. - Certainly.

- Certainly, sir. - Certainly.

Can't understand. Usually I'm lucky at cards.

Lost ancestral seat. Fortune, horses, one fell swoop.

My friends.

- My dear sir. - I have met some

worthy gentleman who are interested

in the pursuits of our club. Very pleasant fellows.

And here they are.

Allow me to introduce you. Dr Slammer.

I have met this gentleman before.

Sir, you were present at the ball last night.

I seem to recall something to that effect.

That person was your companion.

I believe it's possible.

I ask you once again in the presence of these gentlemen

whether you will choose to give me your card

and receive the treatment of a gentleman,

or whether you impose on me the necessity of kicking you on the spot.

One moment, Dr Slammer.

Haven't I seen you acting in the local theatre, sir?

Certainly.

He is a strolling actor. You cannot proceed in the affair, Slammer.

Impossible.

Quite, sir.

Allow me to suggest, sir,

that the best way of avoiding a recurrence

of this situation in the future,

is to be more select in your choice of companions.

Good day, sir.

- What? - And allow me to say, sir,

had I been Dr Slammer, or had I been the Lieutenant,

I should have pulled your nose, sir,

and the nose of every man present.

I would, sir. Every man!

My name is Payne, sir. Dr Payne of the 43rd.

Good day, sir.

Do I understand that you were the wearer

of my coat last night, Mr Jingle?

I was, sir, and grateful thanks. Uncommon snug fit.

May I ask the nature of the means by which

you acquired Mr Winkle's coat, sir?

Well...

I took the liberty of lending it to him, sir.

Indeed, sir?

Without Mr Winkle's knowledge, sir?

Mr Winkle was asleep sir, and so were you.

It was the act of a blaggard, sir.

Mr Winkle.

♪♪

Sir, you have called my friend a blaggard.

So he is. So are you.

My attachment to your person, sir, is great, very great.

But upon that person I must now take summary vengeance.

Come on, sir!

Mr Winkle.

Mr Tupman! Do you dare stand there

and admit to me you're about to descend to fisticuffs?

Such is my intention, sir. And why not, pray?

Why not, sir? Because, because you are too old.

Too old?

And if any further reason were required, you are too fat.

Sir, this is an insult.

Sir, it was intended as one.

- Sir, you have called me old. - I have.

- And fat. - I reiterate the charge.

Sir, you're a fellow.

Sir, you're not.

- Oh. - Ahh.

Restrain yourself!

- Mr Pickwick! - Let me go!

Mr Pickwick you must not imperil your distinguished life.

Mr Pickwick, with the eyes of the world upon you,

Mr Tupman, who in common with us all derives a luster

from your undying name.

For shame, gentlemen. For shame.

Mr Snodgrass speaks for us all, gentlemen.

Swallow this, a brandy and water.

A jolly old gentleman, lots of pluck. CapitaI stuff.

Thank you, sir.

I'm ashamed at having been betrayed

into such a warmth of feeling. I'm ashamed at having been betrayed

into such a warmth of feeling.

Understandable.

Take my leave of one and all. A pressing engagement.

Not good-bye but au revoir.

Au revoir.

Your servant, gentlemen.

Yours.

Gentlemen, Mr Jingle is the viper in our midst.

Viper?

Viper, sir.

- Nonsense, Winkle. Nonsense, Winkle.

Nonsense, Winkle.

Very well, then. We shall see.

A riding mare and a pony cart for Mr Pickwick.

Is this the only way we can get to Dingley Dell?

We never got there any other way to my knowledge, sir.

Bless my soul, who's going to drive?

I hadn't thought of that.

Why, you, of course.

As quiet as a mouse, sir. A infant in arms could drive him.

Doesn't shy, does she?

Not if she met a wagon load of monkeys

with their tails burned off.

But who's going to ride the horse?

Why you, Mr Winkle.

You're the all-round sportsman of this expedition.

You can ride a horse, I hope?

Oh, naturally. Born in the saddle.

But surely I'm depriving one of you other gentlemen of the pleasure.

No, no, no. Perish the thought.

You're at liberty, sir.

♪♪

That's the 20th time she's done that.

What can she mean by it?

I think she was trying to shy.

Then we must make her realise who is master.

Mr Winkle, have the kindness to retrieve my whip.

I daren't let go these reins.

Well, I daren't get off this horse.

Come, come, sir.

If you got onto him once, you can get onto him again.

All right.

♪♪

There. What did I tell you?

Acquire a firm hand, and they know who's master.

♪♪

Well, now, what am I to do as you will never get on again?

Show the beast that you will tolerate no nonsense,

as I am doing.

Oh dear. Hold still. Hold. Tally ho! Yikes!

Be quiet and firm.

He's the one that's being quiet and firm.

You had better lead him till we come to a turnpike.

Whoa! He won't come.

Then I must come to your assistance.

He doesn't even understand English.

Whoa!

♪♪

So there you are! Why, you two look tired.

Ladies, the guests are here! What have you been doing?

So you've been spilt, ay? Not hurt, I hope, eh?

Joel. Drat, that boy's asleep again. Joel!

Take that horse for the gentlemen and lead it to the stables.

♪♪

My dear Mr Pickwick. Gentlemen. Welcome.

Welcome to Dingley Dell.

My daughters, gentlemen.

How do you do? How do you do?

And that's my sister, Miss Rachael Wardle.

She's a miss, she is, and yet she ain't amiss, eh sir, eh?

No, brother. Welcome to Dingley Dell, gentlemen.

Now you all know each other,

let's be comfortable and happy, that's what I say.

See what's going forward.

We’ll soon have you patched up and ship shape.

But first of all, you must come and meet my mother.

Do you think my dear nieces pretty?

Well, I should, if their aunt were not here.

Oh, you naughty man!

You were going to say that Emily stoops. I know you were.

- Oh, no, I... - And so she does.

Can't be denied.

Oh, you quiz. What a sarcastic smile.

I know what that smile means very well.

Oh. Do you?

You mean you don't think Emily's stooping

is as bad as Isabel's boldness?

- Oh, but I... - Well, she is bold.

I'm sure I cry about it for hours together.

But my dear brother is so good

and so unsuspicious that he never sees it.

I'm sure if he did, it would break his heart.

Well.

Look, I'm sure aunty's talking about us.

She looks so malicious.

Is she?

Aunty, dear.

Yes, my dear love?

I'm so afraid you're going to catch cold.

Do put this silk scarf round your dear, old neck.

You must take care of yourself. Consider your age.

Considerate angel. That was Isabel.

They obviously worship their aunt.

♪♪

Mr Pickwick, Mother.

Huh? I can't hear you.

Mr Pickwick, Grandma.

Ah, well, it won't much matter.

But...

He don't care for an old woman like me, I dare say.

But I assure you...

Oh, Grandma. Isn't she naughty?

I assure you, madam, nothing delights me more

than to see a lady at your time of life

heading so fine a family,

and looking so well and so young.

♪♪

All very fine, I dare say, but I can't hear a word.

He was paying you a compliment, mother.

Grandma's put out now, but she'll speak to you presently.

Isabella, what a way to talk about your grandma.

Young girls have such spirits.

But not a monopoly of them.

♪♪

Miss Wardle.

Miss Wardle, you are an angel.

Oh, Mr Tupman, all women are angels, they say.

Then what can you be?

To what can I without presumption compare you?

Where else can I hope to find

so rare a combination of excellence and beauty?

Oh, men are such deceivers.

They are. They are. But not all men.

There does exist at least one being who could never change,

who would be content to devote his whole existence to your happiness,

who lives but in your eyes, who breathes but in your smiles.

Could such an individual exist?

He does exist. He is here, Miss Wardle.

Mr Tupman, rise.

Never, till you say you love me.

Oh, Rachael, say you love me.

Oh, Mr Tupman, I can scarcely breathe it, but

you're not wholly indifferent to me.

Oh, Rachael, my angel.

Oh. Oh! Mr Tupman, we are observed!

What do you want here?

Lunch is ready, sir.

Oh. Lunch is ready. Have you just come here?

Just.

He knows nothing of what happened.

Nothing?

He was asleep, as usual.

♪♪

Your bird, Mr Winkle!

Oh! Oh!

Mr Pickwick! Oh, Mr Pickwick, I'm going fast!

Cain, you've slayed Abel.

No. Oh, don't say that.

Only a graze on the arm, my dear fellow.

Yours lucky escape. We must get you back to Dingley Dell.

Mr Pickwick!

Why, bless my soul, not another casualty?

It's silly of me, I know, but I'm afraid I've broken my leg.

My dear fellow!

Hello! Hold hard.

Why, it's Mr Jingle. Oh, providential sight.

Put that down.

Don't lift him. Possible sprain.

Doctor for years. Cold water and splints.

Came down like a wolf on the foal.

Charming. Bitten by snake. Spotted Roger's sword, saved life.

What is the matter with the little, old gentleman?

Why have they got him in a wheelbarrow?

I do hope it's not serious.

What's the matter with Mr Tupman?

- Now, don't be frightened, my dear. - What's the matter?

Mr Pickwick has turned his ankle

and Mr Tupman has met with a little accident.

Oh, Auntie!

Pour some cold water over her, quickly.

I'm better. Bella, Emily, a surgeon!

Is he wounded? Is he dead? Oh, oh, oh!

Calm yourself. Dear, dear madam, calm yourself.

It's his voice.

Do not agitate yourself. Out of danger. Dressed wound myself.

Then you're not dead? Oh, say you're not dead!

Don't be a fool, Rachael.

How could he say he wasn't dead if he was?

And vice versa.

It is to the presence of mind and resourcefulness of this gentleman

- that we are all indebted, my dear. - Oh, please.

Allow me to present an old and honoured friend of our friends,

Mr Alfred Jingle.

Your most obedient.

My sister Rachael, my daughters Isabel and Emily.

Exquisite examples of femininity. Overwhelmed.

Beauty, thy name is woman.

Mr Jingle was already on his way to London,

but we have prevailed upon him to honour us

with a few days of his company.

How delightful.

Well, this is a little awkward. Luggage all gone on ahead.

- By water. - Quite.

No rag to back. Full scarecrow.

Why, I'm sure that all our wardrobes are at your disposal, eh?

Why, bless me, we're forgetting all about Mr Pickwick!

Oh, poor ...

- You must come inside at once, Mr Pickwick. - What a shame.

I'm sure it will be all right when you rest.

I wish to make it quite clear that my wardrobe is

not at Mr Jingle's disposal.

Cain!

Missus. Missus!

Hmm? What do you want?

Oh, I wants to make your flesh creep.

I see Mr Tupman

a'hugging and a'kissing on Ms Rachael

in this very summer house you're a'sitting in now.

Mr Tupman and my daughter?

Yes, Missus.

- And she let him? - Yes, Missus.

Oh. At her time of life.

I never did like the looks of that Mr Tupman

from the moment I clapped eyes on him.

A fortune hunter, that's what he is.

- He's after her money. - Yes, Missus.

- And she's a fool. - Yes, Missus.

♪♪

Miss Wardle.

Forgive intrusion. No time for ceremony. All is discovered.

Fresh!

Fat boy. Scoundrel. Treacherous dog.

Told old lady. Old lady furious, raving.

- My mother? - You and Tuppy. - Tuppy?

Kissing in greenhouse.

Mr Jingle, if you're trying to insult me...

On the contrary. Overheard fat boy. Come to warn you.

Dreadful danger. Tender my services.

Prevent hubbub. Other hand, think it an insult, leave room.

What I shall I do? My brother will be furious.

No Possible doubt. Outrageous.

Oh, Mr Jingle, what can I say?

Say, say he dreamt it.

Nothing simpler. Have boy horse whipped,

your word believed. End of matter.

One word of warning.

Beware of false heart beating beneath smiling face.

Who ever do you mean?

Wild horses wouldn't drag. Only wants you for your money.

Are you referring to Mr Tupman?

Lips sealed. Old friend. Lady killer. Loves another.

Another? Who?

Niece, Emily.

My niece? It can't be.

- I won't believe it. - Watch him.

- I Will. - Watch his looks, his whispers.

He'll sit next to her at table. He'll flatter her and cut you.

Cut me?

There, you'll see for yourself. - I will indeed.

- You’ll cast him out? - I will.

- You'll take another? - Yes.

You shall. I shall be that man.

Worship from first. Devoted slave.

Inner torment. Sleepless nights. Fortune of my own.

Love you for yourself.

Death do us part. Dare I hope?

Oh, Mr Jingle.

And so, to sum it all up in a nutshell,

Ms Rachael herself wishes me to appear

indifferent until all suspicion is averted.

Exactly. Cover her back. Family furious.

Pretend to make advances to her niece Emily.

- Emily? - Emily.

Convince family fat boy liar.

On no account risk tete-a-tete with Ms Rachael yet.

Fat in fire.

And she has thought out all this just to protect me?

Exactly. Constant to eternity.

Heart of gold. Lucky man. Envy you.

- My dear friend. - My dear.

Please tell her I'll do exactly as she advises.

And my warmest thanks to you for your

disinterested kindness, my dear friend.

How can I ever help you?

Oh, don't talk of it. Unless...

Need 10 pounds. A very particular purpose.

Repay you in three days.

Well, if it's only for three days, I think I could oblige you.

Three days at the outside. After that, rich man.

Repay you twofold.

- Remember, not a look. - Not a wink.

- Not a syllable. - Not a whisper.

If anything, be rude.

- Rude? Rude. Only way to convince family.

Remember, take care.

- I'll take care. - And I'll take care.

♪♪

How I hate the wretch. You were so right,

Mr Jingle.

Noblesse oblige.

Oh, mercy on us! Burglars!

♪♪

Ladies, whatever is the matter?

Oh, Mr Pickwick, Aunt Rachael's eloped with Mr Jingle!

- What? - Can't bear the shame!

You villain!

You were bribed by that scoundrel Jingle

to put us off the scent with some

cock and bull story about Ms Rachael and Mr Tupman!

Irony! Irony!

He's eloped on the 10 pounds he borrowed from me!

I paid the fellow's expenses!

Oh, I won't stand it, Mr Pickwick! I'll have justice!

Restrain yourself, Mr Tupman!

Please, please, keep calm.

Now, get back to bed all of you!

I'm going to follow and bring her back! Joel!

Put a horse in the gate!

Mr Pickwick, papa's going to follow them!

It was my 10 pounds!

Ladies, keep calm.

Mr Jingle shall be brought to task without bloodshed.

I will accompany Mr Wardle.

I'll thrash him! I'll thrash him!

Winkle, put Tupman back to bed.

I'll not stand it!

I'll have my lawyer after him!

♪♪

Now, you do the asking. You're the lawyer.

.. my dear sir.

[inaudible]

This is a curious old inn of yours.

If you'd sent word you was a'coming, we'd have had it repaired sir.

Pretty busy, eh?

Oh, very well, sir.

We shan't go bankrupt and we shan't make our fortune.

We eats our boiled mutton without capers,

and we don't care for horseradish when we can get beef.

Ah, you're a wag, aren't you?

My eldest brother was troubled with that complaint, sir.

It may be catching. I used to seep with him.

The fact of the matter is we want to know,

and we ask the question of you

in order that we may not arouse apprehension inside,

we want to know who you've got in the inn at the moment.

Well, there's a wooden leg in number six,

a pair of hessians in 13,

two pairs of halves in the commercial,

these here painted tops in the snuggery inside the bar,

and five more tops in the coffee room.

Nothing more?

Stop a bit. Yes.

There's pair of pumps, very well worn,

and a pair of lady's country shoes in number five.

What's the maker's name?

Brown.

Where of?

Muggleton.

It's them, by heaven! We found them!

We're in time!

Charge to the room, there's no time to be lost!

Now, now, my dear sir. Caution, caution.

Show us to the room at once, and this half sovereign is yours.

Follow me, sir.

♪♪

Open up!

Yes, yes?

Oh!

♪♪

You're an artful blaggard, aren't you?

I ought to have you horse whipped!

Dear, sir, please. Consider defamation of character.

Calm yourself!

How dare you drag my sister from my house!

Ay, you can ask it. How dare you, sir?

Who the devil are you, sir?

Who is he, you scoundrel! He's my lawyer!

Mr Parker of Gray's Inn.

Parker, I'll have this man indicted, persecuted! I'll ruin him!

And you, you, Rachael.

At a time of life when you ought to know better.

What do you mean by running away with a vagabond,

bringing disgrace on your family and making yourself miserable?

Get your bonnet on and come back!

Where are said boots?

- Call a hackney coach, sir, directly. - Yes sir.

And bring the lady's bill, do you hear? You hear?

Certainly, sir.

Rachael, you will get your bonnet on.

Nothing of the kind. Leave the room, sir.

Lady, free to act as she pleases. She is more than one and twenty.

More than one and twenty? She's more than one and forty!

Oh. I'm not!

You are! You're 50 if you're a day!

A glass of water, quick!

Glass of water? Bring a bucket of water

and throw it all over her! It’ll do her good.

She deserves every drop of it.

Orders carried out, sir.

Boots, get me an officer.

Stay, stay. Consider, sir. Consider.

I will not consider, sir.

She's her own mistress.

See who dares take her away against her own wishes.

I will not be taken away. I don't wish it.

Dear sir, my dear sir, we're in a very awkward situation.

I warned you before we came,

there was nothing to look to but a compromise.

What kind of compromise do you suggest?

Mr Jingle, would you be good enough to step into the next room?

Mr Wardle.

Well, sir?

Now, my dear sir, I put it to you,

don't you think that 50 pounds and liberty

would be better than Ms Wardle and her expectations?

Won't do.

- Why not? - Not enough.

Well, my dear, sir, we won't waste time splitting straws.

- Say 70. - Won't do.

80. Come. I'll give you the cash at once.

Won't do.

Well, my dear sir, just tell me what will do.

Expensive affair. Out of pocket,

breach of honour, loss of lady.

- Say a hundred. - And twenty?

Oh, my dear, sir.

Give it to him and let him go!

One, two 50's, two 10's.

- A receipt, if you please. - Oh, come, sir.

Gentlemen's agreement.

Oh, here sir.

What is it?

A marriage licence. Give to Tuppy. Do for same lady.

It's time that we taught him a lesson!

Up you get, sir.

Furniture must be cheap where you come from, sir.

Hold still, sir.

Now, what's the use of running after a man as has made his lucky

and got to the other end of London by now, eh?

To the Golden Cross.

That way.

To think that I have been the innocent cause of so much indignity.

It will be my solemn duty

to settle with that villain if ever I meet him again.

Ah, the world is very full of villains, to be sure, sir.

What you need, if you don't mind my being so bold,

is extra reserves to fall back on if and when, sir.

Extra reserves?

A henchman, sir.

A confidential gentleman's gentleman. A valet, sir.

Someone as can clean your shoes so's you can see your face in them.

Now you come to mention it,

I believe I do need a manservant.

And he's standing right before your very eyes,

this very minute, sir,

or I'm a Dutchman's donkey with a red marked coattail.

But have you any reason to be

discontented with your present place?

Well, a poor answer to that question, sir.

I should like to know in the first place

whether you're going to provide me with a better.

So out with it, as the father said to the child

when he swallowed the farthing.

I must give serious thought. Yes, very serious thought.

I shall have to raise the matter with Mrs Bardell, of course,

my housekeeper.

But if she approves, as I've no doubt she will do,

yes, I think it would be a most admirable arrangement.

I'll speak to Mrs Bardell at once.

Ah, Mrs Bardell.

Yes, sir?

Do you think it very much more expensive

to keep two people than to keep one?

Mr Pickwick, what a question.

I know, but do you?

Oh, Mr Pickwick, it is so kind of you

to have such consideration for my loneliness.

Oh, yes, I'd never thought of that.

When I'm in town,

you will always have someone to sit with you.

To be sure you will.

Lo, Mr Pickwick.

And to tell you the truth, Mrs Bardell,

I've made up my mind.

Oh Mr Pickwick,

I'm sure I should be the happiest of women.

Then it's a bargain, is it?

Yes, you good, kind, playful dear.

Bless my soul! Mrs Bardell.

Somebody might come!

Let them come. I'll never leave you.

You dear, kind, good soul.

No, don't you faint, too.

Mercy upon me. I hear someone coming up the stairs.

Don't, my good creature, don't.

Oh, what are you doing to my mamma?

- Let go my mamma. - Stop it. Desist.

Take this little villain away!

What is the matter with Mrs Bardell?

- I don't know. - Put me down!

Help me to get her downstairs.

- No, no, I'm better now. - Let me lead you downstairs.

Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

A very extraordinary thing.

Very.

Placed me in an extremely awkward situation.

Extremely.

Mr Pickwick,

there's a man downstairs, wants to see you.

Says his name is Veller. Shall I tell him to be off?

No, no indeed.

Be good enough to call him upstairs, Mr Snodgrass.

Certainly.

You're very silent.

So are you.

I cannot conceive what took hold of that woman.

I had merely announced to her

my intention of keeping a man servant,

this very Mr Weller,

when she fell into that

extraordinary paroxysm in which you found her.

Oh, quite?

Mr Weller, Mr Pickwick.

As per instruction, sir.

Ah, my man. I have decided to engage you.

Have you, now? Wages?

12 pounds a year.

Uh-huh. Clothing?

Two suits.

Take the sign out of the window.

I'm let to a single gentleman, and the terms is agreed upon.

Excellent.

By the by, sir,

this was on the hall table addressed to you, sir.

An invitation of some kind.

Mrs Leo Hunter invites Mr Pickwick and friends

to a literary fancy dress breakfast party,

August 14th, 9:00 am. RSVP The Den, Etonsville, Middlesex.

- Fancy dress. - Imagine that.

Whatever shall we go as?

♪♪

Welcome one and welcome all

to our house of rebel, rum and gladden day. I'd like all our fellow worshippers

I'd like all the fellow worshippers of thespians know,

it is our custom at these garden gatherings of the gifted,

to offer up our latest offspring's brain at the altar of Parnassus.

So with all humility, I shall break the metaphorical ice.

Thank you. Ode to an Expiring Frog,

Some lines written by myself.

Can I view thee panting,

lying on thy stomach, without sighing?

Can I unmoved see thee dying on a log, expiring frog?

Say, have fiends in shape of boys,

with wild halloo and brutal noise,

hunted thee from marshy joys, with a dog, expring frog?

Most affecting.

Such elegant sentiments.

I didn't like it.

Thank you.

Ah, my guest of honour.

Bravo, Mrs Hunter, ma'am. Beautiful. Finely expressed.

Thank you so much, Mr Pickwick.

Praise from one as renowned as yourself is praise indeed.

I must make you promise not to stir from my side the entire day.

There are hundreds of literary lions here I must positively introduce to you,

and none other than the special,

very famous Captain James Fitz-Marshall himself.

Where is he? Captain Fitz-Marshall!

Come to me directly.

Pray make room to let Captain Fitz-Marshall pass.

Coming, dear lady. Coming quick as I can.

Crowds of people. Hard work. Very.

Dear madam, your most obedient. Crossed half of England to be at your side today.

I want to introduce two famous people to each other.

Quite forgot instructions coachman.

- Back in a moment. - My servant can do it.

- No, no, no, ma'am. Do itself. Back in no time. Faux pas.

Well, meanwhile, may I introduce Mr and Mrs Nupkins

- and their ward, Ms Arabella Allen? - Honoured.

- Mr Pickwick. - Sir, madam, I am honoured.

Permit me to ask you, ma'am, who that gentleman is and where he resides?

Oh, that's the famous explorer of the Himalayas.

Yes, yes. His residence?

He's at present at the Angel Inn at Berry's and Degman.

Oh, must you go, Mr Pickwick?

A thousand pardons, ma'am.

Oh, he's gone. But this is catastrophe.

♪♪

Heave ho and up she rises,

heave ho and up she rises, heave ho and up she rises...

Where's my servant?

- Weller? - Here we are sir.

- Follow me instantly. - Shall we come too?

No. Return to London and await me there.

But Mr Pickwick, is this wise?

Sir, how do we know who he may be deceiving there?

He deceived a worthy man once,

and we were the innocent cause.

He shall not do it again if I can prevent it.

I shall expose him. Sam, the horses.

Right away, sir.

You look like one of the jolly sort,

as convivial as a live trout in a line basket.

Well, I was out late with my master last night.

Oh, and what is your master's name?

Fitz-Marshall.

♪♪

What? Captain James Fitz-Marshall?

Him as explored the Himalayas?

Give us your hand.

I should like to get to know you better. I likes your face.

Now, isn't that strange?

I liked yours so much, I wanted to speak to you

from the very first moment you come in the door.

Did you, now?

I need a friend to talk to.

I'm working for a regular bad man,

and it goes again' my conscience something horrid.

Does it, now?

Give us two pints over here, governor,

- and no head on them. - Right, sir.

Now, about these troubles of yours.

I got into conversation with a cove down in the bar,

and he turns out to be Mr Jingle's valet.

Are you sure, Sam?

Come with me, sir, and I'll point him out to you.

Like this?

Oh lord, sir. No one will see you.

♪♪

WAITER: Right away ma'am.

That's him, sir. Name of Trotter.

He looks as great a rogue as his master.

Oh, no doubt of it at all, sir.

But I'm getting him very merry sir.

His tongue's a'wagging at both ends already.

And I'll soon have it a'wagging in the middle as well.

Now, you just go up to your room, sir, and wait.

♪♪

Gracious heaven! What's that?

It's only, only a gentleman, ma'am.

A strange man! Oh.

- Oh! - Madam! Madam!

What do you want?

Nothing whatever, madam.

Nothing?

Nothing, ma'am, upon my soul.

I'm almost ready to sink, ma'am,

beneath the confusion of addressing

a lady in my nightcap, but I cannot get it off, ma'am.

It is evident to me that

I have mistaken this bedroom for my own.

If this improbable story be true, sir,

you will leave instantly.

I will, madam, with the greatest of pleasure.

Instantly!

Certainly, ma'am.

I'm only sorry to be the innocent cause of this alarming emotion.

Deeply sorry, ma'am.

Please leave at once.

♪♪

Ah, there you are, sir. I was a'looking for you.

Sam, where's my bedroom?

On the next floor, sir.

Sam, I've just made the most extraordinary mistake

that ever was heard of.

Never again will I trust myself alone in a strange house, ever!

That's the very prudentest remark as you can make, sir.

But we've got other fish to fry.

I've landed Mr Jingle's valet, and he's waiting for us now.

♪♪

Now, Mr Trotter,

divulge your information to my master, if you please.

Oh, sir, my master is a bad lost soul, sir.

He's got another innocent female in his horrible clutches.

The fiend!

Yes, sir, a very fiend in human shape, sir.

He's going to run away with a rich young lady from a boarding school.

And when is this villainous design to be carried into execution?

Tonight, sir.

This very night, sir.

Then I must warn the principal of the establishment immediately.

Beg pardon, sir, but that would never do, sir.

Why not?

My master's a very plausible gent with his tongue, sir.

Oh, he is and all, sir.

He's so wound himself round the old lady's heart,

that she would believe nothing to his prejudice.

Them old cats will run their heads against milestones.

Unless I was to help you catch him red handed, sir,

in the very act of eloping.

Are you to take part in this dreadful business?

Naturally, sir.

I have to be in charge of the carriage and pair, out in the road.

But if you was to conceal yourself

in the corner of the garden alone...

Why alone?

The old lady would hardly like such an unpleasant discovery

to be made before more persons than can actually be helped, sir.

Quite right.

I commend your consideration for her feelings.

Well, sir, if you was there by half past 11:00 o'clock,

you would be just in the very moment of time

to assist me in frustrating the designs of this bad man

by whom I've been unfortunately ensnared.

But stay, could I not communicate with the young person's family?

Oh, no, sir, or I'd have done it.

They live 100 miles from here.

That's a clincher.

How do I get into the garden?

Well, it's a very low wall, sir.

And if you go to the back door and tap on it

as soon as you hear the clock strike 11:30,

my master and the young lady will come from the inside,

thinking it's me that's tapped.

And what more proof could you have than that, sir?

Sam, give this honest fellow a guinea and fetch my boots.

Right away, sir.

♪♪

What is the meaning of this?

Ma'am, there's a strange man in the garden.

He's been hiding there for an hour.

- Two hours. - Yes, he has.

He's come to murder us all.

Murder us? Nonsense.

Now, ma'am, begging your pardon. It ain't nonsense.

I seen him climb over the wall with me own eyes an hour ago.

Girls! Girls!

I insist on your looking into the garden immediately.

I don't want to. I'll be murdered!

I insist on your looking into the garden immediately.

Do you hear me, Cook?

Do you hear your missus, Cook?

What an impudent thing that Cook is.

♪♪

Ladies, dear ladies.

- Oh, he says we're dear. - Oh, the wretch.

Hear me. I am no robber. I only want the lady of the house.

Oh, what a ferocious monster. He wants Ms Duncan.

Ring the alarm, someone! Fetch a magistrate!

Only hear what I've got to say, I beseech you.

I've come to warn you

that one of your young ladies is going to elope tonight.

Elope?

Girls.

Elope? Who with?

With your friend, Captain James Fitz-Marshall

from the Angel Inn.

My friend?

Why, I never heard of any such person.

Mr Jingle then.

Jingoes? Jingle?

I never heard the name in my life.

- Never? - Never.

Great heavens! I've been deceived and deluded!

I am the victim of a base and foul conspiracy!

It's my opinion he's a madman, Miss Thompkins!

Call for the magistrate.

I assure you...

Move not an inch, till Mr Nupkins gets here.

♪♪

Good work, Trotter. Mention you in dispatches.

Now, sir, yours was the brain work.

He also serves who only stands and waits.

♪♪

Well, where's the villain, eh?

Calm yourselves, ladies! Calm yourselves!

Miss Thompkins, Miss Thompkins, Mr Nupkins is here.

Well, ladies, what's all this? Ah. Who are you, sir?

Explain yourself, sir.

Don't lie, sir. You'll regret it if you do.

What's the charge, ma'am?

He's a madman, Mr Nupkins.

He says one of my girls is eloping

with a Captain Fitz-Marshall from the Angel Inn.

What? Captain Fitz-Marshall? Ridiculous.

- What's that, sir? - Ridiculous, sir.

I know Captain Fitz-Marshall.

My wife is acquainted with Captain Fitz-Marshall.

Then, sir, she's acquainted with an unprincipled adventurer, sir.

who preys upon society

and makes easily deceived people his dupes.

A truer word was never spoke.

Ah, my man servant.

He will confirm every word of it. Confirm every word, sir.

That is so. My master, Mr Pickwick here,

is one of them dupes what he just mentioned.

Yes, sir. Unhappily, I am.

Dear me. Don't I know you, sir?

You do, sir.

We were introduced at Mrs Hunter's literary breakfast.

Good gracious, so we were.

You see, madam.

And you tell me that Capt Fitz-Marshall is an adventurer?

Don't call him Captain, nor Fitz-Marshall neither.

He's just a strolling actor, he is, name of Jingle.

It's very true, sir.

My whole business in this town

is to expose the very person of whom we speak.

Sir, we must discuss this matter further elsewhere.

Ladies, I trust you will not press further charges

against this gentleman, now that I can vouch for him?

Not if you vouch for him, of course, Mr Nupkins.

It was all a very natural mistake.

Thank you, madam.

Sir, I'd better see you to your place of residence.

I shall proceed with the matter of Captain...

(ah!) Mr Jingle tomorrow.

Ladies, with your kind permission.

Your very obedient servant, ladies.

A thousand abject apologies.

Pray, don't mention it.

♪♪

I still I think he's a madman, Miss Thompkins.

Silly creature. All real gentlemen are a little odd.

Good day, sir.

Good day, sir Nupkins.

My dear sir,

I have brought with me this morning

my wife and my ward,

with the express purpose of having you reveal to them

the true nature of this Mr Jingle.

You know women, sir, gullible creatures.

They will not be convinced by me.

I shall take it as my duty sir,

both to convince them,

and to bring this wretch to well-deserved justice.

I shall be most grateful, sir.

Ah, my dear. Here is Mr Pickwick.

You remember him, of course.

Your obedient servant, ladies.

Good morning, Mr Pickwick.

My dear madam. My dear young lady,

I wish I were the harbinger of happier tidings.

I assure you this grieves me as much as it does all of us.

I always expected something of this kind,

Mr Pickwick.

I suspected Captain Fitz-Marshall from the start,

but my advice was ignored,

as it always is by Mr Nupkins.

But my dear!

I never did trust Captain Fitz-Marshall, Mr Pickwick.

I knew he was trying to make fools of us.

You may thank your guardian for that, my dear.

How I begged and implored that man

to inquire into the Captain's family connections.

My dear.

Don't talk to me, you aggravating thing! Don't!

You professed yourself very fond of Captain Fitz-Marshall.

You constantly invited him to the house

and lost no opportunity of introducing him elsewhere.

Didn't I say Arabella?

Didn't I say he would lay this at my door?

My love, you're terribly unjust.

Isn't it too much?

After bringing this disgrace upon our heads,

but now taunting me with being the cause of it.

How are we ever going to hold our heads up in society again?

How can we face the Parkinsons?

Let alone the Griggses.

Oh, what is that to your guardian?

Ladies, ladies, I'm sure this can all be rectified.

Ah, Mr Nupkins, Mrs Nupkins, Miss Arabella.

With Mr Pickwick.

Sir. I have only this to say to you, sir.

I might have taken a greater revenge for the indignities

which I have suffered at your hands,

but I will content myself with exposing you, sir,

which is a duty I feel I owe to society.

Good fellow, Pickwick. A fine heart. A stout old boy.

But a little odd, slightly eccentric.

I will add this, sir.

I consider you to be a ruffian, sir,

and a rascal, sir, and worse than any man

I have ever seen or even heard of.

Sir, do you admit you're an impostor?

Never admit anything, sir. Bad for liver.

What's to prevent me as magistrate

from detaining you and your accomplice

as rogues and impostors?

What's to prevent me?

Pride, old fellow. Pride.

Turned down old Sidney Porkenham for richer young Captain.

Make it public? Oh, not for worlds.

Wretch! We scorn your base insinuations.

You never deceived me for a moment, sir.

Oh, of course not. A rave about me yesterday.

Catch of season. Biter bit. Look foolish. Very.

♪♪

Sir, you dare to insult ladies!

Then, sir, let me tell you this, sir.

Your path leads even lower than I had thought.

It leads to the prison, sir,

and to the poorhouse and possibly to the gallows!

Oh, tut tut, Pickwick. Must not be passionate.

Break blood vessel.

Sir, we've heard enough. Go!

No, sir. Not until my brother-in-law to be,

Mr Justice Stareleigh,

has given his legal opinion on your case, sir.

Finest legal brain in the country, sir.

- I shall confront you with him, sir. - Pray do sir.

Mr Stareleigh, would you step inside, sir?

♪♪

Allow me. Mr Pickwick,

my sister-in-law Miss Wethersfield and her fiancé, Mr Justice Stareleigh.

Oh!

My dear.

♪♪

What is the meaning of this, Mr Nupkins?

What is the meaning of this, Mr Pickwick?

Yes, what is the meaning of this, sir?

I decline to answer.

Ah, he declines it.

He declines it. Miss Wethersfield,

do you know this person?

Know him? I have seen him.

Where?

That I would not reveal for worlds.

I understand you, ma'am. And I respect your delicacy.

It will never be revealed by me, you may depend upon it.

Upon my word, ma'am, considering I am affianced to you,

you carry this matter off with tolerable coolness,

Oh, cruel, Mr Stareleigh.

Sir, kindly address your observations to me.

I alone am to blame, if anybody be.

Oh, you alone are you to blame, are you?

And this is the gentleman who has maligned me.

Oh, hypocritical. Very.

Is it possible you have attempted to hoodwink me, sir?

To what you, sir?

- To hoodwink me, sir. - And to hoodwink me, sir?

And to hoodwink me, sir?

No, I am not, sir. How dare you?

Ah, I see through you, sir.

And I do, too, sir.

I saw through you from the start, sir.

But you shall answer for it, sir.

Oh you shall indeed, sir.

Answer for what, sir?

Never mind, sir.

The rogue. Captain Fitz-Marshall,

- we have wronged you. - Oh.

Gentlemen, a secret of some delicacy,

in which this lady is concerned,

is the cause of the difficulty between us.

When I assure you, sir, that it has no relation to yourself

and is not in any way connected with your affairs.

I need hardy point out to you

that should you continue to dispute it,

you cast doubts on my veracity,

which I can only find extremely insulting, sir.

Your gloves, sir.

Oh!

Oh!

Name the hour and place, sir!

Name the weapon, sir!

Mr Stareleigh, as magistrate of this borough,

I forbid you to duel with a person who already faces

charges of house breaking, perjury, damage to property

and improper conduct in the presence of young ladies!

Oh!

- So! Oh! - Oh!

Look alive, ladies! Step to it, gents!

The head's a'fire!

Take the ladies!

Get out of there if you don't want to roast the lamb like crackling pork!

Is that the fire?!

Yes, sir. What you might call a Gunpowder Plot.

Stop! I will not fly the field like a cur.

Honour must be satisfied!

Your trouble is, sir, you're never satisfied.

We're off to London while we're still in one piece, sir.

What about our baggage, our belongings?

We ain't going back for them, sir.

Why not?

Mr Jingle stole them before he left.

Oh, please go away, Mr Winkle.

Mr Nupkins has threatened to shoot you if he finds you talking to me.

Let him shoot me.

Death, where is thy sting

if you do not reciprocate my undying devotion, Miss Arabella.

Oh, dear. Mr Nupkins would never agree to it,

Mr Winkle. Please go away before he shoots you. For my sake.

For your sake, anything.

If only you will answer the one question which torments me.

I do reciprocate your affection, sir.

Ah.

Now, go. Please go.

- Arabella, where are you? - Oh.

♪♪

Master Winkle, look out!

Arabella.

Good morning, gentlemen, good morning.

- Good morning, sir. Good morning, Sam.

Good morning.

Mr Pickwick is waiting for you.

♪♪

Welcome back to London, Mr Pickwick.

- Yes, welcome. - Welcome.

Oh, gentlemen, I'm glad you're so punctual.

I've only just returned to London myself,

and I have a great deal to tell you

about our friend Mr Jingle.

Ha!

Any sign of Mrs Bardell yet, Sam?

None, sir. A gentleman left this downstairs, sir.

Extraordinary. Oh, perhaps she's out shopping.

What is this? A legal document?

Bardell against Pickwick. Bardell against Pickwick?

But I don't know anyone called Bar...

Having been instructed by Mrs Martha Bardell

to commence action against you

for a breach of promise of marriage,

for which the plaintiff lays her damage at £1,500.

We beg to inform you that a writ has been issued

against you in this suit in the Court of Common Pleas,

and request to know by return of post

the name of your attorney in London.

We are, sir, your obedient servants, Dodson and Fogg.

Dodson and Fogg?

Bardell against Pickwick?

It's a conspiracy.

It's a base conspiracy

on the part of these rascally lawyers, Dodson and Fogg.

Mrs Bardell would never do it. She hasn't the heart.

She hasn't the cause.

Who ever heard me address her in any way

but that in which a gentleman would address his housekeeper?

Well.

- Oh quite. - Of course.

Exactly. It's a vile attempt to extort money from me.

What are you going to do?

Do? Do, sir? Fight it, of course.

I'll deal with this Dodson and Fogg!

♪♪

I am to understand, then, gentlemen,

that in spite of my explanation,

you are determined to proceed with this action?

In view of the gravity of our client's accusation...

Mr Fogg, I am going to speak.

I beg your pardon, Mr Dodson.

You are correct in that understanding, sir,

to which, I may add, that both Mr Fogg and myself

advise you to settle out of court.

Never, sir.

In that case,

I had better serve you with this writ now, sir.

Very well, gentlemen. You will hear from my solicitor.

We shall be happy to do so, sir.

Very happy.

And before I go, gentlemen,

permit me to say that of all the disgraceful and

- rascally proceedings... - Stay sir, stay.

- Mr Jackson, Mr Wick. [Both] Sir?

I really want you to hear what this gentleman says.

Pray go on, sir.

Disgraceful and rascally proceedings, I think you said.

I did, sir. I repeat it.

- You’ll hear him repeat it, Mr Wicks. - Yes sir.

You hear that, Mr Jackson?

Every word, sir.

Perhaps you'd like to call us swindlers, sir.

Pray do so if you feel disposed. Now pray do, sir.

I do. You are swindlers.

Very good. You'd better call us thieves, sir.

Perhaps you'd like to assault one of us?

Pray do so, if you would.

We would make not the slightest resistance.

You just come away, sir.

Battledore and Shuttlecock's a very good game,

provided you ain't the shuttlecock and two lawyers ain't the battledores.

♪♪

Very clever of Dodson and Fogg, the use of that boy.

Brilliant effect on the jury.

I trust you won't let it make you unduly nervous.

I have never been more confident, sir.

The truth and justice will prevail.

It would make a nice change.

Here comes Sergeant Buzfuzz, the Counsel for the Prosecution.

Silence!

Never in the whole course of my professional experience

have I approached a case

with feelings of such deep emotion

and with such a heavy sense

of responsibility imposed upon me.

A sense of responsibility, I would add,

which I could not support, gentlemen,

were I not buoyed up and sustained

by a conviction so strong

that it amounts to a positive certainty

that the cause of my much injured client must prevail

with the high minded and intelligent gentleman

I now see in this box before me.

The plaintiff, gentlemen, is a widow.

Yes, gentlemen, a widow.

Some time before her tragic loss,

her husband stamped his likeness upon a little boy.

With this little boy,

the lonely and desolate widow

shrunk from the world

and retired to lodgings in Goswell Street.

What were the thoughts that came

to this lonely and desolate widow?

Mr Bardell had been a gentleman,

a man of honour, a man of his word.

Mr Bardell was no deceiver.

Mr Bardell had once been a single gentleman himself.

Where then should she turn for comfort, for consolation?

To whom should her lodgings be let

but to a single gentleman whose conduct and propriety

would serve as a constant reminder of that paragon,

that saintly personification of the best impulses

of our imperfect nature, gentlemen, the late Mr Bardell?

The lonely and desolate widow dried her tears,

clasped her innocent boy to her maternal bosom,

and put up the sign in the parlour window,

"Apartments - furnished for a single gentleman".

Did it remain there for long?

No, gentlemen. A serpent was on the watch.

The mine was laid.

Before the bill had been in the parlour window for 3 days gentlemen,

a being, erect upon two legs

and bearing all the outward semblance of a man

and not a monster,

knocked at the door of Mrs Bardell's lodgings.

That man was Pickwick. Pickwick the defendant.

And if he be in court, gentlemen,

as I am informed that he is,

let me tell the defendant, Pickwick,

that it would have been more decent of him, more becoming,

in better taste and in better judgment,

if he had stayed away

rather than he should have shamed the precincts of this court

by delighting in the exhibition of his own heartlessness

and his own systematic villainy.

Here, here.

The facts and circumstances, gentlemen,

you shall now hear detailed.

♪♪

Now, sir, have the goodness to let his Lordship know and

the jury know what your name is.

♪ Arabella, Arabella. ♪

I asked you a question, sir.

Oh, did you?

Yes, sir. Have the goodness to let his Lordship know

and the jury know what your name is.

Winkle.

What your Christian name is, sir.

Nathaniel.

Daniel? Any other name?

Nathaniel, sir. My Lord, I mean.

Nathaniel Daniel or Daniel Nathaniel?

Neither, my Lord. Only Nathaniel, not Daniel.

Then what did you tell me it was Daniel for?

I didn't, my Lord.

You did, sir.

How could I have got Daniel on my notes

unless you told me so?

Mr Winkle has a conveniently short memory, my Lord.

We shall find means to refresh it

before we're done him, I dare say.

You better be careful, sir.

Now, Mr Winkle, and let me recommend you

for your own sake to bear in mind

his Lordship's injunction to be careful.

You're a particular friend of Pickwick the defendant,

are you not?

I've known Mr Pickwick now,

as well as I can recollect at this moment...

Please, sir, do not evade the question!

Are you or are you not a friend of Pickwick, the defendant?

I will repeat the question a dozen times if you require it, sir.

I was just about to tell you.

Oh really, my Lord.

it is impossible to get any evidence through the

impenetrable stupidity of this witness.

If you don't answer the question, you'll be committed, sir.

Come, come, come, sir. Yes or no, sir?

If you please.

Yes, I am.

Yes, you are.

Then why couldn't you have said so at once?

Now, Mr Winkle.

Do you remember calling on the defendant

Pickwick at the plaintiff's lodgings in

Goswell Street on one particular morning in July last?

Yes, I do.

Were you accompanied on that occasion

by a friend in the name of Tupman,

and another in the name of Snodgrass?

Yes, I was.

Are they here?

Yes, they are.

Pray, sir, attend to me and never mind about your friends.

They must tell their own stories

without any consultation with you,

if none has yet taken place.

Now, Mr Winkle,

pray tell the jury what you saw

on entering the defendant's lodgings.

Uh -

Come, come, sir. Out with it!

We must have it sooner or later, you know.

Mr Pickwick was holding the plaintiff in his arms,

clasping her waist,

and the plaintiff appeared to have fainted away.

Thank you, Mr Winkle. That is all.

I have only one more question to ask you.

Will you undertake to swear

that the defendant Pickwick

did not say on that occasion,

"My dear Mrs Bardell, you are a good soul."

"Compose yourself to this situation,"

"for to this situation you must come."

or words to that effect?

I didn't understand him, so,

but I was on the staircase and couldn't hear distinctly.

The impression on my mind is...

The gentlemen of the jury

want nothing of the impressions on your mind,

which I fear would have little effect

upon honest, straightforward men.

You were on the staircase,

and you did not distinctly hear,

yet you will not swear

that Mr Pickwick did not make use of the expressions

I have quoted?

No, I will not.

He means my Lord, that he dare not.

No questions, my Lord.

Silence!

♪♪

Are you agreed to bring your verdict, gentlemen?

We are, my Lord.

Do you find for the plaintiff, gentlemen, or for the defendant?

For the plaintiff, my Lord.

What damages, gentlemen?

£750, my Lord.

I congratulate you gentlemen upon your verdict,

despite its tendency to leniency.

Personally, I would have trebled the damages, not halved them.

Thank you, sir.

Arabella.

Well, gentlemen.

Well, sir.

You imagine you'll get your costs,

don't you gentlemen?

- I think it is rather probable, sir. - We shall try to.

You may try until you're blue in the face,

- Messrs Dodson and Fogg. - Dear Mr Pickwick.

Not one farthing of costs or damages will you ever get from me.

The alternative is hardy a peasant one, sir.

The debtors' prison, Mr Pickwick.

If the alternative were to spend the rest of my life

in a debtors' prison, I would yield myself up with

perfect cheerfulness and content of heart.

You'll soon think better of that, sir.

Yes, we'll soon see about that, Mr Pickwick.

♪♪

Listen to me. Wrath and fire is upon us!

The hour of repentance is near.

Repent! Repent! Repent!

We are all fallen by the wayside.

Will you not still reconsider at the last moment,

Mr Pickwick? All you have to do

is pay the damages and costs.

Sir, never. Good-bye, gentlemen.

Do not distress yourselves unduly.

As you see, my own spirits were never higher.

- Good-bye. - Sir, at your pleasure.

♪♪

Prisoner Pickwick, sir.

Come with me.

- Music-

I'm dying of thirst.

I had no idea it would be like this.

I told you before.

If I warn you again, I'll put you in irons.

Give us a chew of tobacco, sir. Just a loan.

I'll pay you back.

Leave him be. He's just come in.

Give us some food.

Go away!

What's the matter?

How pitiful. How pitiful.

I never dreamed that any place could be so destitute.

Why bless you, sir, they're living in luxury on this side.

You should see them on the poor side.

Food, food, hungry.

Well, sir, this is your chummery.

Chummery?

Yes, sir. You chum here with 25 other gentlemen.

It's not exactly a home from home.

I was hardly expecting one.

Of course, with a little diplomatic representation

in the right quarter, I wouldn't be surprised

but what a different complexion could be put on things.

But you wouldn't want to bribe anybody, would you?

Oh, no.

Quite right.

"Not one farthing of damages do you get from me," he says,

"even if I spend the rest of my existence in a debtor's prison."

Very vigorous words, Sammy.

Does the old gent credit, my son.

Except that he meant them.

Eh?

Every word. He's in the Fleet prison this very minute.

Gone there of his own accord, he has.

Gone there of his own accord? Why, what good'll that do?

They'll eat him alive in the Fleet.

Matter of principle, says he.

"Right, sir. In we goes then." says I.

"No, Sam", say he.

"The Fleet Prison is no place to bring a young man into."

"I shall continue to pay your wages," he says,

".. and if ever I do leave this place, Sam", he says,

".. I pledge you my word that you shall return to me instantly."

So I come straight away to find me old father,

what I know is propping up this here very bar

in this here particular low haunt

at this here particular time of day.

Here I was. And what can I do, Sammy?

You can favour me with a loan of £25.

What good would that do?

Nothing. Unless you was to ask for it back

5 minutes afterwards,

and I was to say "I won't pay" and cut up rough.

What, to your own father? Shame on you, Sammy.

Well, you wouldn't think of arresting your own son for the money,

or packing him off to the Fleet Prison for a debt now, would you?

You unnatural old vagabond, you?

I always said you'll end up in prison,

Sammy, my son.

♪♪

Sam!

Well, if it ain't someone so very like me as me own

father wouldn't be able to tell us apart.

What are you doing here?

Just visiting, in a manner of speaking.

Visiting? But they only allow my lawyer to visit me.

Ah, but it's different in my case, sir. I'm a prisoner.

I was arrested this here very afternoon, I was, for debt.

Arrested for debt?

Yes, sir. And the man that's put me in here

said that you'll get out before I do.

So I better be off to finding myself a bed

somewhere before I do anything else.

Bless my heart and soul. How much was the sum?

25 pound.

I'll pay it.

Ah, begging your pardon, sir, you'll be doing nothing of the kind.

And tomorrow morning,

I'll be after finding you a room to yourself.

A room to myself? Is that possible?

Well, this is the debtors' prison, ain't it?

Anything's possible if you slip the warders a pound or two.

Here you are, sir.

You'll be living in the lap of luxury here.

I thank you, sir.

I wish I'd known you were the paying kind

when you first came,

and we wouldn't have had that little misunderstanding.

Any little thing you want, just let me know.

Don't worry. We will.

Thank you.

Come on, come on. Don't stand here a'gaping.

You've got work to do.

All we need now, sir,

is a little canary bird a'singing away in the window,

a cat who's doing likewise on the hearth,

and who's to say we ain't in Kensington Palace itself?!

It's wonderful what money'll do for you

in one of these here debtors' prisons, sir.

Wonderful.

Oh, come and give us a little smile, sir.

Go on, it won't crack your face. That's it.

Is Mrs Bardell at home?

Who shall I say is asking?

Mr Jackson of Dodson and Fogg.

Oh! Mrs Bardell, Mr Jackson of Dodson and Fogg.

Is anything the matter, Mr Jackson?

Has anything happened?

Nothing whatever ma'am. How do you do, ladies?

No bad news, but our people

want you down in the city directly, Mrs Bardell.

Down in the city?

As late as this?

On very important and pressing business,

what can't be postponed on any account.

Indeed, Dodson expressly said so to me,

and so did Mr Fogg.

've kept the coach on purpose for you to go back in.

How very strange. I'll just go and get my bonnet and shawl.

♪♪

Prisoner Bardell. Take her in.

Yes, sir.

It's a mistake. It's all a terrible mistake.

I didn't sign anything. They said I had to pay costs.

So please, sir. Send for Mr Dodson and Mr Fogg.

They'll explain that it's all a mistake.

Well, Well, Well.

Oh.

Well, if it ain't Mrs Bardell herself.

District was in the poor?

Don't bother the woman. She's just come in.

Not as a prisoner. Who sent her?

Dodson and Fogg.

Not Dodson and Fogg?

Well, I never meant to sue Mr Pickwick.

They put me up to it. Truly they did.

And after the trial, they made me sign a paper

as a matter of form for the amount of costs.

And when Mr Pickwick didn't pay, they had me arrested.

And now I'm prisoner. I'll be here all my life.

I'll never get out alive. Nobody ever does.

Oh, come on.

I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Ah, Mr Pickwick, good morning.

Mr Perker, why bless my soul.

What has brought you here?

The news, my dear sir,

that Mrs Bardell, the plaintiff, is within these walls.

I knew it.

Well, my dear sir,

the first question I have to put to you is

whether the woman is to remain here?

How could you ask me?

It rests with Dodson and Fogg. You know that very well.

I know nothing of the kind.

It rests solely and entirely with you, sir.

With me? With me?

I say that her speedy liberation

from perpetual imprisonment

rests with you and you alone.

Hear me out, my dear sir, and do not be so very energetic.

I say that only you can rescue her

from this den of wretches,

by paying the cost of this suit,

both of defendant and plaintiff.

I? Pay her costs?

Or leave her to expire

in a scene of misery and debauchery,

to which no man should be consigned if I had my will.

But the infliction of which on any woman

is even more frightful and barbarous.

You are quite right.

I was putting my stubborn battle with two sharks

before my Christian duty to a misguided creature.

Take whatever steps are legally necessary, Mr Perker.

Splendid. I shall. I shall.

We will take it as agreed then, Mrs Bardell,

that you are prepared to furnish Mr Pickwick with a letter

in which you withdraw all claims to breach of promise,

in return for which Mr Pickwick will pay all legal costs of your case

and you will be released from this prison.

Correct?

Oh, yes, sir. Oh, Mr Pickwick, how I wronged you.

I've been a wicked woman.

No, no, no, Mrs Bardell.

Just a little too easily persuaded, shall we say.

I pray you to think no more of it.

We've all been victims of Dodson and Fogg,

but right, as I knew it would, has prevailed.

Right, as it always must, has prevailed.

Exactly. Well now, Mrs Bardell,

if you will step outside,

I will draw up the necessary documents

and join you very shortly.

Yes, sir.

Bless you, Mr Pickwick.

Pity the poor debtor. Pity the poor debtor.

Pity the poor debtors. Pity the poor debtors.

Mr Jingle.

Mr Pickwick.

Queer peace. Strange thing. Serves me right, very.

Have you no boots?

Gone, sir. Man must eat.

Lived on them for a whole fortnight.

Silk umbrella, ivory handle a week.

Pawnbroker's shop. Small sums. All rascals.

My poor Mr Jingle.

No, no, no, sir. Deserve it.

Nothing left now. Lie in bed. Starve. Die. Inquest.

Hush it up. Natural causes. Workhouse funeral. Deserve it all.

All over. Drop the curtain.

Nothing of the sort. I won't hear of it.

Here. Take this.

Buy yourself some warm clothes at once

and a good, hot meal.

Now, now. Tut tut tut. Come, come, my dear fellow.

Ungrateful dog. Good fellow.

Boyish to cry. Can't help it.

Bad fever. Deserved it all. Suffered much. Very.

♪♪

The sun's smarting my eyes.

That's clever of it, seeing it ain't even out.

♪♪

- Where to? - Where to? Why home, of course.

No, to the offices of Dodson and Fogg.

Oh now, my dear sir, let sleeping dogs lie.

To Messrs Dodson and Fogg!

Very good, sir.

♪♪

Just a moment, sir.

♪♪

Ah, gentlemen.

Mr Pickwick.

- Gracious. Out of prison. - Yes sir.

What does this mean?

The meaning is very clear sir. Very clear, sir.

Mr Pickwick, pray let me explain.

No, sir. Let me explain.

Take care, sir. Let him assault you, Mr Fogg.

- What? - But don't return it on any account.

Oh, no, no, no, I won't return it.

You need not disturb yourselves, gentlemen.

I only came here to tell you

that you are a well matched pair

of mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers.

Yes, sir. A pair of mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

And a happy new year.

Now I feel my old self again.

And now to work.

Sam, is Mr Jingle here yet?

Mr Jingle is outside, sir.

Good, good. Ask him in.

Mr Jingle, this way, sir, if you please.

Ah, Mr Jingle. Come in.

You know my lawyer, Mr Perker, I think.

Lawyers. Too late.

Remorseful, very, but no means of reparation.

There is no question of reparation, sir.

At Mr Pickwick's instigation,

I have obtained for you a passage from

Liverpool to Demerara in the West Indies.

West Indies?

Yes, sir. You have often spoken nostalgically

of wishing to retire there,

and I feel it would constitute a

new lease of life, as it were.

At a loss, sir. Don't understand.

Mr Pickwick feels that you have been At a loss, sir. Don't understand.

Mr Pickwick feels that you have been

punished sufficiently, Mr Jingle.

We wish you to know that we bear you no grudge,

Mr Jingle, and we should like you to accept this

as a memento of the Pickwick club.

What is it?

My blue coat. The blue coat.

Would like to express sentiment suitable to occasion.

First time in my life no words.

No words. No words.

Tut tut, sir. None needed.

♪♪

Most satisfactory. And now Mr Pickwick, we have a problem that we have

And now Mr Pickwick, we have a problem

that we have only withheld from you until this moment

by dent of extreme restraint, eh, Snodgrass?

Oh, extreme restraint.

Dear me, not a very serious problem, I hope?

Explain the circumstances, Winkle.

Well, I... Mr Pickwick, sir.

Yes? Yes?

I've had the fortune to lose my heart to a certain

young lady, sir.

Why congratulations.

Alas, sir, they're premature.

Why?

She is the ward of Mr Nupkins.

Mr Nupkins? Mr Nupkins.

Does the young lady return your regard?

Oh, yes, sir, she does.

But Mr Nupkins doesn't.

He tried to shoot him.

Shoot him? This must be put to rights.

Take a leaf out of Mr Jingle's book, sir.

Do what he did with Miss Rachael. Elope.

♪ Arabella, Arabella, Arabella, Arabella. ♪

Ah! I knew it. Blackguard!

Bring her back, or I'll shoot you like a dog.

Don't shoot!

Speech! Speech! Speech, Mr Pickwick.

My very, very dear friends,

I confess I have tried, I have wracked my brains,

but I cannot conceive of a happier occasion

than that which now delights my eyes.

My three fellow members of the Pickwick club,

after many adventures in the cause of enlightenment,

adventures which I think I may say were victorious,

are now embarked upon an adventure

which I am sure will prove to be even more felicitous

and rewarding

than any that they have embarked on here before.

Thank you, sir.

We've already drunk to the heath of the brides

and bridegrooms,

so I will give you this little toast instead.

To those feelings that repose,

however remotely,

in the human breast,

awaiting only encouragement to awaken,

good will, good hope, good nature.

♪♪

Captioned by: New Day Media, Synced & corrected by Dumbeblonde