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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:03,802 [whinnies] 2 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:07,056 Hello. I'm Mr. Ed. 3 00:00:11,394 --> 00:00:13,562 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 4 00:00:13,563 --> 00:00:15,731 ♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪ 5 00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,900 ♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪ 6 00:00:17,901 --> 00:00:20,069 ♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪ 7 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:22,238 ♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪ 8 00:00:22,238 --> 00:00:23,322 ♪ He'll give you the answer ♪ 9 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:24,407 ♪ That you'll endorse ♪ 10 00:00:24,407 --> 00:00:26,575 ♪ He's always on a steady course ♪ 11 00:00:26,576 --> 00:00:28,194 ♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪ 12 00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:37,971 Hm, I'm getting a double chin. 13 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:41,224 I've got to cut down those alfalfa snacks 14 00:00:41,224 --> 00:00:42,842 when I'm watching TV. 15 00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:47,180 Ed, I have got great news for you. 16 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,814 We're going camping this weekend 17 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,983 at Mammoth Lake in the High Sierras. 18 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:51,517 Me, too? 19 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,686 Sure, you and me and Addison. 20 00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,405 Oh, boy. I've always wanted to get out there in the woods 21 00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,024 and just let my beard grow. 22 00:00:58,024 --> 00:00:59,658 Me, too. 23 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,361 I've always wanted to let my tail grow wild. 24 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:06,165 ♪ Oh, give me a home ♪ 25 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:07,784 ♪ Where the buffa-- ♪ 26 00:01:07,784 --> 00:01:09,418 Hey, did you say 27 00:01:09,419 --> 00:01:11,587 old vinegar puss is coming, too? 28 00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:14,290 That's right. I mean, the whole trip was his idea. 29 00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:16,458 I can't figure why Addison wants me along. 30 00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:17,543 He hates me. 31 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:20,263 Well, I insisted that you come. 32 00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:25,134 And after all, you're my friend, my pal, my buddy. 33 00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,854 And we needed somebody to carry the pack. 34 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,472 Oh, you do, huh? 35 00:01:29,472 --> 00:01:31,640 Look, I'm a horse, not a red cap. 36 00:01:31,641 --> 00:01:33,809 Oh, Ed, stop being temperamental. 37 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:36,529 It's not going to hurt you to carry a few provisions for us. 38 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:40,866 You've got Addison. Let the jackass carry the stuff. 39 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:43,569 All right. I'll rent another horse. 40 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:47,373 Whoa-ho-ho. Now the threats begin. 41 00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,541 Okay, I'll go. 42 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:52,795 Atta boy, Ed. You'll have a wonderful time. 43 00:01:52,796 --> 00:01:54,414 Before I take a trip, 44 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,582 I got to see what my horoscope says. 45 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,751 Get me my astrology book, huh? 46 00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:02,004 Oh, you and your superstitions. 47 00:02:02,005 --> 00:02:05,808 I'm Pisces, and us Pisces got to be careful. 48 00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:07,977 You and your Pisces. 49 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:12,315 Wilbur, look. I just bought it. 50 00:02:12,315 --> 00:02:13,933 How do you like it? 51 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:17,186 Set me back 375 bucks. 52 00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:18,821 Wow, that's big. 53 00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:20,990 I bet the next size comes on wheels. 54 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:25,327 Oh, boy. Any duck that gets hit with that goes first class. 55 00:02:25,328 --> 00:02:26,946 Just feel the barrels. 56 00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:29,114 Huh? How does it feel? 57 00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,283 Mm, like $375. 58 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,918 And worth every cent of it. 59 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,003 Oh, by the way, Wilbur, 60 00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:37,256 what type of gun will you be using? 61 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,341 Follow me. 62 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,634 Huh? How do you like it? 63 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,888 Which end does the cork come out? 64 00:02:51,888 --> 00:02:54,056 I never miss with old Betsy. 65 00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:55,691 When a duck sees me aim this at him, 66 00:02:55,692 --> 00:02:58,394 he asks for a blindfold and a cigarette. 67 00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,562 Please, do me a favor, will you? 68 00:03:00,563 --> 00:03:02,731 Never point that at a bird when I'm around. 69 00:03:02,732 --> 00:03:05,451 I hate to shoot a duck while it's landing. 70 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,619 Huh. When I pull the trigger, 71 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,322 it'll be laughing out of the other side of its quack-quack. 72 00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:14,126 Uh, by the way, Wilbur, 73 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,829 did you tell Carol we were going on this hunting trip? 74 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,913 Sure. 75 00:03:17,914 --> 00:03:18,998 What did she say when you told her 76 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,166 we are not taking our wives along? 77 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,886 Nothing. Carol's a good sport. 78 00:03:23,887 --> 00:03:25,505 She knows that every now and again 79 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:27,139 us guys got to get out there in the woods 80 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,758 and just let our tails grow wild. 81 00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:32,561 I-- I mean our beards. 82 00:03:32,562 --> 00:03:34,180 How did Kay take it? 83 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,348 Like a trooper. Firing both barrels. 84 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,490 So we'll take the freeway to Ventura, 85 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:48,293 and we go to the 101, up Sepulveda Boulevard. 86 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,547 Go north to U.S. highway 6, 87 00:03:51,547 --> 00:03:55,334 continue on to the junction of Route 395. 88 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,054 That will be just north of Homestead. 89 00:03:58,054 --> 00:03:59,672 By the way, it's a beautiful spot. 90 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,306 We ought to stop up there sometime. 91 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,475 [coughs] 92 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:07,813 Keep on 395 to Lone Pine through Bishop. 93 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,432 And then, let's see, 94 00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:13,235 Mammoth Lake will be about 13 miles west. 95 00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,854 [coughs] 96 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,191 What's the matter, honey? You feel all right? 97 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,826 Oh, I'm fine. Just a little cough. 98 00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,332 [coughs] 99 00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:33,288 Coming down with a cold? 100 00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:34,923 Oh, no, no, honey. 101 00:04:34,924 --> 00:04:38,177 [coughs] 102 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,345 The doctor said it was just the air in town. 103 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:43,599 Oh, that's right. The air has been kind of pecu-- 104 00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:44,683 Doctor? 105 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,471 When did you see a doctor? 106 00:04:48,471 --> 00:04:51,190 Oh, now, Wilbur, don't you worry about me. 107 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,808 You go and have a good time. 108 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,061 Honey, I'd like to take you along with us, 109 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,230 but you know how Roger feels. 110 00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,315 And he's right. 111 00:04:59,315 --> 00:05:00,399 I mean, honey, I think you men 112 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,653 should get off by yourselves every once in a while. 113 00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:04,203 [coughs] 114 00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:08,541 It isn't so bad. 115 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:11,243 I mean, maybe I'll get lucky, and it'll rain. 116 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:16,132 No, no, I'm not going to leave you here. 117 00:05:16,132 --> 00:05:18,300 I don't care how Roger feels. You're coming along. 118 00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,385 I'm going to tell him right now. 119 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,510 [coughs] 120 00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:35,101 [coughs] 121 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,904 You're wasting your time, Camille. 122 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:39,989 I am not taking you along. 123 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,776 I wouldn't go if you begged me. 124 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,410 [phone rings] 125 00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:50,832 Well, let me answer it. 126 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:54,620 Hello? 127 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:56,788 Oh, hi, Carol. 128 00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:00,593 He did? 129 00:06:02,211 --> 00:06:04,379 We are? 130 00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:06,014 Well, I'll start packing right away. 131 00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:08,183 Uh, thanks for calling, sweetie. 132 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,352 Oh, Addison, guess what. 133 00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:13,606 Some idiot is taking his wife along on a hunting trip. 134 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,224 You certainly are, doll. 135 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,477 Oh, we'll make a perfect foursome. 136 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,562 That's right. 137 00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:22,281 Wilbur, Carol, you, and the horse. 138 00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,449 Oh, Addison, you're impossible. 139 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,703 Roger. 140 00:06:29,872 --> 00:06:31,490 Roger, we have got to take Carol with us. 141 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,659 The poor kid is coughing her head off. 142 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:35,827 And the doctor says that it's going to get worse 143 00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:39,631 unless the rains and weather clears up 144 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,250 and the air gets a little better. 145 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:45,053 But you know how dry it's been lately, Rog. 146 00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:58,066 Well, Ed, the girls are going along with us, 147 00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,685 so tomorrow at the crack of dawn 148 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,853 we'll be heading for the tall timber. 149 00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,488 I'm not going. 150 00:07:07,276 --> 00:07:08,360 What do you mean? 151 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,529 I thought you were excited about this trip. 152 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:14,333 I just read my horoscope, and the news is not good. 153 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,951 Ed, what are you talking about? 154 00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:20,289 I'm a Pisces, and it says if I leave town tomorrow, 155 00:07:20,289 --> 00:07:22,457 disaster will befall me. 156 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:25,711 Look, will you forget about these superstitions? 157 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,879 Nothing can happen to you. 158 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,599 Why, you walk around with four horseshoes all the time. 159 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,302 I wouldn't leave this barn tomorrow 160 00:07:33,302 --> 00:07:36,021 for all the carrots in Kansas. 161 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:39,274 Ed, I'm surprised at you. 162 00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:41,977 Don't you know that superstition is based on ignorance? 163 00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,612 So I'm stupid, 164 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:45,231 but I'm alive. 165 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:50,653 Now, you listen to me, you cowardly Pisces. 166 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,159 Now, Ed, you're behaving like a child. 167 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,244 Now there is nothing-- 168 00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:10,723 What is my shoe doing nailed over your door? 169 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,891 I put it there for good luck. 170 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:18,314 Ed, you're going to have the time of your life. 171 00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:21,567 Now, in the morning, I'll wake you up, feed you. 172 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,185 I'll put you in your little trailer. 173 00:08:23,186 --> 00:08:25,905 I'll hitch you to the car, and then we're off. 174 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:26,989 Off a cliff. 175 00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:38,917 [humming] 176 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,509 Honey, I told you there's no sense in sweeping. 177 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,677 That dirt goes down at least 5,000 miles. 178 00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,846 You know, it's a lucky thing you brought us along 179 00:08:50,846 --> 00:08:52,464 to keep this place clean around here. 180 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,477 You know, I never saw so many insects in my life? 181 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,646 Will you please stop spraying me? 182 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,281 I don't intend to bite you. 183 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,984 You didn't talk that way to me before we were married. 184 00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,490 Ah. Oh, that fresh mountain air. 185 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,575 Nothing like it, hey, honey? 186 00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:21,209 Mm, it's wonderful. 187 00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:24,463 You know, you haven't coughed once since we've been up here. 188 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,547 No. 189 00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:26,632 Or for that matter, 190 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,885 since you backed the car out of the garage. 191 00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:30,969 [chuckles] 192 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,672 Yeah, how about that? 193 00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:42,898 Uh, what's this? 194 00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,516 That is a duck call. 195 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,151 We hunters use it to attract ducks. 196 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,939 Its sound is similar to the actual mating call. 197 00:09:49,939 --> 00:09:51,573 [blows air] 198 00:09:51,574 --> 00:09:53,742 Does it really work? 199 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,164 [Wilbur] That answer your question? 200 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,952 Silly. 201 00:10:02,952 --> 00:10:06,205 Well, I think I'll wander down to the water. 202 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,458 I'll see if there's any high grass we can use for a blind. 203 00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,092 You want to come along, Wilbur? 204 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:14,346 Uh, no, no, I think I better stay back here 205 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,965 and protect the girls from the wild animals. 206 00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:18,684 Well, I don't think there are any around here. 207 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,852 I just saw a lot of rabbits on the way up. 208 00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:22,471 Yeah, well, if they gang up on you, 209 00:10:22,471 --> 00:10:24,639 they can beat you to death with their ears. 210 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,359 Well, you have to watch it. 211 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,696 Uh, be careful, doll. 212 00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:35,484 If you want Mommy, just blow that mating call. 213 00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:51,750 Ed, you haven't eaten a thing 214 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:52,835 since we left home this morning. 215 00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:53,919 Aren't you hungry? 216 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:56,087 Nope, just scared. 217 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,256 You can forget about that horoscope. 218 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,425 We've been on the road since 6:00 this morning. 219 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,060 Nothing has happened to you. 220 00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,145 So far. 221 00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:06,398 - Wilbur. - What is it? 222 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,567 - I smell a rhinoceros. - Where? 223 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,185 Point, Ed, point. 224 00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:13,439 Rhinoceros? 225 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,523 Yeah. 226 00:11:14,523 --> 00:11:17,242 Ed, rhinoceros are found only in Africa. 227 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,861 He could be visiting a relative. 228 00:11:18,861 --> 00:11:19,945 Oh, Ed. 229 00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:22,113 It's only a couple hours by jet. 230 00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,282 Ed, you are acting like a coward. 231 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,451 If there's anything I cannot stand-- 232 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,536 [gunshot] 233 00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:31,339 Wilbur, stop hanging on my neck. 234 00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:34,042 Us cowards like to run light. 235 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:35,127 You got me nervous now. 236 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,295 That was just a gunshot. 237 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:41,099 I don't like any shots, not even penicillin shots. 238 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,268 I'm afraid of guns, Wilbur. 239 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,437 Take me home. 240 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,140 No, Ed, I will not take you home. 241 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,393 Doesn't it bother you that you've got a jinxed horse 242 00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:53,562 who may drag you down with him? 243 00:11:53,562 --> 00:11:55,196 Ah, poppycock. 244 00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:56,815 No, Pisces. 245 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:57,900 Oh-- 246 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,534 [rustling in leaves] 247 00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,068 Shh. 248 00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:03,322 What was that noise? 249 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,490 That was my teeth chattering. 250 00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,182 Yes, sir. 251 00:12:14,183 --> 00:12:16,885 You can have that sissified city stuff 252 00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:18,520 with its comforts and its luxuries, 253 00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:23,392 but give me the rude, crude pioneer litXfe every tim. 254 00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:26,111 Yep, help me up and let's get going. 255 00:12:31,534 --> 00:12:33,702 Hey, Davy Crockett. 256 00:12:33,702 --> 00:12:36,404 How about giving me a hand back with some of these logs? 257 00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:38,573 Oh, sure. I'm sorry. Sorry. 258 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,461 Rog, you're not still sore at me, are you, 259 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,080 for bring the girls along? 260 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,164 Not anymore. 261 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,333 Frankly, I think it'll do Kay a lot of good 262 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,502 to get a taste of this crude elemental life. 263 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,137 You know, she's always gotten things too easy. 264 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,306 Anything she wanted, she just ordered from a store. 265 00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:55,924 It's a little different out here. 266 00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:58,644 I mean, she can't just open a charge account with a squirrel. 267 00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:01,896 ♪ Oh, give me a home ♪ 268 00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:03,515 ♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪ 269 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,235 ♪ And the deer and the antelope play ♪ 270 00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:07,853 ♪ Where seldom is heard ♪ 271 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,487 ♪ A discouraging word ♪ 272 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,572 ♪ And the-- ♪ 273 00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,416 Boys, dinner's almost ready. 274 00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,035 You better hurry up and shave. 275 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,669 Shave? 276 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,754 What for? 277 00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:27,372 Who's coming? 278 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,007 Please, it'll only take a few minutes? 279 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,176 I don't intend to shave until we get back home. 280 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,345 Oh, now, come on, nature boys. 281 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:36,047 The least you can do is go down to the creek and wash up. 282 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,682 Yeah, please hurry. 283 00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:40,385 We'll hold off lighting the candles till you get back. 284 00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:44,189 Oh, we wouldn't miss that for the world, 285 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,274 would we, Wilbur? 286 00:13:45,274 --> 00:13:47,976 Oh, no. It would ruin the trip for us. 287 00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,611 Are you ready, Gaston? 288 00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:51,780 After you, my dear Alfonse. 289 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,665 No, thank you. 290 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,002 Well, my boy, in a few more hours, 291 00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:16,722 we'll be popping those big birds out of the sky. 292 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:17,806 Isn't she a beauty? 293 00:14:17,806 --> 00:14:18,890 Yeah. 294 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,509 I'll bet when the ducks see that gun of yours 295 00:14:20,509 --> 00:14:22,143 they'll be standing in line to get shot. 296 00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:23,762 Yeah. 297 00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:25,396 Of course, old Betsy here won't do too badly. 298 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,565 Oh, please. The only birds you'll get with that 299 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,184 are the ones flying a suicide mission. 300 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,606 Mm, isn't that mountain air wonderful? 301 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,691 Yes. 302 00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:37,325 Aren't you glad the boys asked us along? 303 00:14:37,326 --> 00:14:38,410 G Oh, yes. 304 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,028 But you know, it wouldn't hurt any 305 00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:42,748 to cough once in a while, sweetie. 306 00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,366 [coughs] 307 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:45,450 [laughs] 308 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:46,535 Dear. 309 00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,169 Oh, look, a baby duck. 310 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:55,760 Oh, what a cute little doll. 311 00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:56,845 Oh, poor little thing. 312 00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:59,013 He probably got separated from its family. 313 00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,716 Oh, how could anyone shoot a helpless little creature like this? 314 00:15:01,717 --> 00:15:04,436 Oh, I know. It makes me feel just awful. 315 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:15,814 Murderers. 316 00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:21,236 Wilbur, do you have to shoot duck on this trip? 317 00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:23,955 Well, honey, a hunting trip isn't much fun 318 00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,574 unless you do a little shooting. 319 00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:27,742 Kay, don't let that little duckling upset you. 320 00:15:27,743 --> 00:15:29,377 We'll only be shooting at the big ones. 321 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:32,631 Would you have the nerve to shoot this baby's mother? 322 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:35,884 No, but I'd like to get a few of his uncles, his aunts, 323 00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:38,052 and maybe a grandfather or two. 324 00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:42,390 Wilbur, are you going to join that killing party? 325 00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,475 Are you? 326 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:46,728 Am I? 327 00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:48,897 Of course you are. 328 00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:51,599 We came up here to hunt, remember? 329 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,319 I told you not to bring the women along. 330 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,938 Well, if that's the way you feel, 331 00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,106 we don't have to stay where we're not wanted. 332 00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:00,275 That's right. We can sleep someplace else, Kay. 333 00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:01,359 Carol, don't be foolish. 334 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,079 Don't you come near me, you-- you assassin. 335 00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:07,866 Let them go. 336 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,585 Well, if you boys change your minds, 337 00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:13,839 we'll be sleeping right over there. 338 00:16:17,092 --> 00:16:20,879 Rog, I don't like the idea of them sleeping by themselves. 339 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:23,047 Don't worry. They'll only be a few feet away. 340 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,216 I know Kay. The first little noise, 341 00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,385 she'll come jumping right into my arms. 342 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,020 So will I. 343 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,762 Honey, I love you. 344 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,016 I love you, too, doll, 345 00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,650 but what are we going to do with Addison? 346 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,988 Yeah, what'll you do with me? 347 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,197 [duck whistle] 348 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,042 They should be flying south by now. 349 00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:42,210 I would have to leave my compass home. 350 00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:43,845 Have you got any idea which way south is? 351 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:46,014 Only one way to find out. 352 00:17:46,014 --> 00:17:48,716 You face north. Then you turn around real quick. 353 00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:52,520 I think this plug of yours is bad luck. 354 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,773 Did you have to bring him along? 355 00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:58,476 He gets nervous by himself, Rog. It's his horoscope. 356 00:17:58,477 --> 00:17:59,561 What? 357 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,729 Well, I mean, I figured if we got enough ducks, 358 00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:03,364 he could help us carry them back. 359 00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:08,236 Wilbur, look. Here they come. 360 00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:11,490 Oh, boy, I've waited a whole year for this moment. 361 00:18:14,209 --> 00:18:15,293 You pushed me. 362 00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,912 No, I didn't, Rog. 363 00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:18,546 All those beautiful ducks gone. 364 00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:21,249 You went soft because Carol showed you that little duck. 365 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,884 Rog, I didn't push you. It was Ed. 366 00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:24,503 Oh, please. 367 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,671 He's standing too close to you. I'll move him. 368 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,222 Yeah. 369 00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,306 Come on, Ed. 370 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,094 [ducks quacking] 371 00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,813 Wilbur, look. Here they come again. 372 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,515 Hundreds of them. Oh, boy, I can't miss this time. 373 00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:42,403 They're gone again. 374 00:18:42,404 --> 00:18:44,022 All on a count of that stupid horse. 375 00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:47,825 Huh, I can see Ed isn't wanted around here. 376 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,444 I'll send him home. 377 00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:54,332 We had our chance and missed it. 378 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,035 There hasn't been a sign of a duck around here for 45 minutes. 379 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:59,203 Maybe they're on their lunch hour. 380 00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,457 Why don't you blow that duck call thing again, hm? 381 00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:04,091 I'm beginning to think 382 00:19:04,092 --> 00:19:06,260 this is more of a warning whistle than a mating call. 383 00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,217 [ducks quacking] 384 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:16,021 Here they come. 385 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,808 Keep blowing, Rog. 386 00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:41,496 It's no use, Rog. I can't make this kid an orphan. 387 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,553 All right, you blow the horn and let me shoot. 388 00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,425 The girls are right, Rog. 389 00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:56,144 I couldn't kill a duck with this little fellow around. 390 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,931 I'm going back to camp. 391 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,651 This gun cost me $375, 392 00:20:02,651 --> 00:20:04,819 and I'm going to shoot ducks even if it breaks my heart. 393 00:20:09,157 --> 00:20:12,944 Boy, did I have a job getting this catsup over me. 394 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:17,281 If this dying routine works, 395 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:20,535 I may get home safe before my luck runs out. 396 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,788 Oh, here he comes. 397 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:33,014 [Mister Ed] Wilbur. 398 00:20:33,015 --> 00:20:34,633 [groans] 399 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,801 Wilbur. 400 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,436 [groans] 401 00:20:39,521 --> 00:20:40,605 Ed. 402 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:44,393 Ed, what happened? 403 00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:48,196 I've been shot by some careless hunter. 404 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:49,280 [groans] 405 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,899 I didn't hear any shot. 406 00:20:50,899 --> 00:20:53,618 He must have used a silencer. 407 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,237 [groans] 408 00:20:55,237 --> 00:20:58,490 Ed, you're bleeding. 409 00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:00,124 I'll wipe it off for you. 410 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,827 No, don't touch it. It hurts. 411 00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:07,716 Ed, I should never have brought you here. 412 00:21:07,716 --> 00:21:09,884 I forgive you, Wilbur. 413 00:21:09,885 --> 00:21:13,138 Oh, it's getting dark. 414 00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:14,756 Come on back. 415 00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:16,924 We came up here to shoot ducks, remember? What-- 416 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,178 My. 417 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,346 W-Well, what's the matter? 418 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:25,066 Some careless hunter shot Ed. 419 00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:27,769 Oh, that's too bad. 420 00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:29,937 Oh, is there anything I can do? 421 00:21:29,938 --> 00:21:32,106 No, I don't think so. 422 00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:33,741 Yes, there is. 423 00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:38,613 Take my gun and you can throw it in the lake. 424 00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:41,332 I'm never going hunting again. 425 00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,501 All right, Wilbur. 426 00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:45,120 And throw yours in, too. 427 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,204 Oh, no, wait a minute. 428 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:49,457 My-- M-M-My gun cost $375. 429 00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:52,711 Rog, if you don't throw that gun in the lake, 430 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,345 I'll never speak to you again. 431 00:21:58,133 --> 00:21:59,217 Fine. 432 00:22:06,808 --> 00:22:08,442 Oh. 433 00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:10,061 Ed. 434 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,230 Ed, how do you feel? 435 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,483 Getting weaker. 436 00:22:15,484 --> 00:22:17,118 Oh, no wonder. 437 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:18,203 [groans] 438 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,905 You're losing a lot of catsup. 439 00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:24,709 Catsup? 440 00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:27,963 Wilbur, yell, but don't hit. 441 00:22:27,963 --> 00:22:30,665 Oh, oh, Ed. 442 00:22:30,665 --> 00:22:32,299 Oh, I had a-- 443 00:22:32,300 --> 00:22:34,468 I'm just relieved that you're all right. 444 00:22:34,469 --> 00:22:36,087 [laughs] 445 00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:38,807 Oh, boy. I mean, this could've happened, you know. 446 00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,059 Oh, Ed. 447 00:22:43,145 --> 00:22:46,932 Oh, believe me. I really learned my lesson. 448 00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:50,185 Okay, Ed, you can stand up now. 449 00:22:50,185 --> 00:22:51,269 [grunts] 450 00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:53,438 [grunts] 451 00:22:54,523 --> 00:22:56,157 Oh, Ed. 452 00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:59,411 Oh, you're just going to take it easy for the next few days. 453 00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,113 Eating, sleeping, and having a ball. 454 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:03,198 [chuckles] 455 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,366 Carol? 456 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,085 Carol? 457 00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:09,704 What is it, honey? 458 00:23:09,704 --> 00:23:11,338 My hunting days are over. 459 00:23:11,339 --> 00:23:14,041 Wilbur, do you mean that? 460 00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:16,210 Roger and I have thrown our guns away. 461 00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:21,633 Oh, honey, I'm so glad. 462 00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:24,352 Well, I threw them in the deepest part of the lake. 463 00:23:26,521 --> 00:23:29,223 What is that animal doing on its feet? 464 00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:31,943 Wilbur, I-- I don't understand. 465 00:23:31,943 --> 00:23:33,561 I just saw him. He was lying down. 466 00:23:33,562 --> 00:23:35,196 There was blood all-- 467 00:23:35,197 --> 00:23:35,730 What happened? 468 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:41,152 Roger, when you witness a miracle, 469 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:44,406 you don't question it. You just accept it. 470 00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:57,969 Another carrot, Ed? 471 00:23:57,969 --> 00:24:00,688 Just leave it there, Wilbur. 472 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,857 Sorry I had to pull that trick on you. 473 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,476 I was on to you from the start. 474 00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:06,110 You never scared me. 475 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,279 Well, you scared me. 476 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:12,067 You were crying so hard I thought I was really dying. 477 00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:14,235 Well, I hope this proves to you, Ed, 478 00:24:14,236 --> 00:24:15,320 that horoscopes don't mean a thing. 479 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,404 That's right. 480 00:24:16,404 --> 00:24:18,572 And you'll never be superstitious again? 481 00:24:18,573 --> 00:24:20,741 Never. 482 00:24:20,742 --> 00:24:21,826 Ed, I don't know what you're worried about. 483 00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:24,546 You're going to have a long and healthy life. 484 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,164 You betcha. 485 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:29,968 What was that? 486 00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,586 I knocked on wood. 487 00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:33,754 I'm not taking any chances. 488 00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:45,683 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 489 00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:47,852 ♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪ 490 00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:50,021 ♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪ 491 00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:52,189 ♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪ 492 00:24:52,190 --> 00:24:53,824 ♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪ 493 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:54,909 ♪ He'll give you the answer ♪ 494 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,528 ♪ That you'll endorse ♪ 495 00:24:56,528 --> 00:24:58,696 ♪ He's always on a steady course ♪ 496 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,865 ♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪ 497 00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:02,500 ♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪ 498 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,669 ♪ And waste your time of day ♪ 499 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,837 ♪ But Mister Ed will never speak ♪ 500 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,006 ♪ Unless he has something to say ♪ 501 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:11,175 ♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪ 502 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:13,344 ♪ And this one will talk till his voice is hoarse ♪ 503 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,047 ♪ You never heard of a talking horse? ♪ 504 00:25:17,132 --> 00:25:19,851 ♪ Well, listen to this ♪ 505 00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:23,104 [Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪ 506 00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:25,806 Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 507 00:25:27,976 --> 00:25:30,144 [Man] This has been a Filmways television presentation. 36054

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