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1
00:00:00,032 --> 00:00:05,640
Hello to you! Come on,
settle down. You, coming in with
your cup of tea, you're late.
2
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,000
Obviously I can't see you, but if
you WERE coming in with a cup of tea
3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,720
then, spooky/exciting moment!
4
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,000
So, previously in my life,
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,880
it became obvious why I have an
element of the prude about me.
6
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:23,040
Mum? Dad? Listen, I wondered
if I could borrow that...
7
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,720
Urgh, my eyes!
8
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:30,080
Sorry, darling. Tuesday nights
are now naughty knitting nights.
9
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,120
Such fun.
10
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,200
Not fun!
11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,680
What else?
Oh, yes, I've got a new friend.
12
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,360
Tamara,
she's waitressing at the restaurant.
13
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,880
She's only 22, but I keep up
pretty well. Oh yeah.
14
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,400
Oh, Tamara, I think you've put a
sausage roll in the scotch egg tub.
15
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,600
Doesn't matter. Go with the flow.
16
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,560
Hey, let's roll down the hill.
17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,720
Right, OK.
Crazy, the mind of the youth.
18
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,480
I don't like it, I don't, that is
horrible. Why would you do that?
19
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,200
And Gary and I haven't talked
20
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,080
since he suggested we have,
um, (sex).
21
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,880
But I'm not bothered, no,
cos I have a very exciting
and fulfilling home life.
22
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,160
Oh, yeah, I mean,
last night was crazy.
23
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,360
See? Good times. Right,
let's jolly on with the show.
24
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,640
What are you doing?
25
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,160
Youths!
26
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:47,120
Look at them, they're like a pack
of be-shellsuited hyenas.
27
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,880
Hyenae. Hyenae, I bet they don't
even care about Latin plurals.
28
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,320
Well, don't start speaking
in Latin plurals.
29
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,680
I won't. I hope not to engage
with them at all.
30
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,120
Oh, no! Right. Don't let them
smell our fear. Just act casual.
31
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,840
Why are we singing
The Archer's theme tune?
32
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,560
Let me get this, innit? Man here
wants it for his yat. D'you get me?
33
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,960
Absolutely, yeah, totally.
34
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,480
I like your mask.
35
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,240
Is it a Halloween one?
36
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,200
That's so funny.
37
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,840
No, but for real though.
38
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,720
You're kind of trim for a teabag,
though. Do you know what I mean? Yes!
39
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,080
No!
40
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,840
Phew. How pathetic.
41
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,840
We are grown women.
42
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,640
Well, one of us has grown. Tiny!
43
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,120
Right, I'm off to the restaurant.
44
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,280
Off to meet Tamara, are we?
What do you mean, "are we"?
45
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,400
I'm just off
to meet Tamara for a coffee.
46
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,880
Going for a coffee with Tamara,
are we?
47
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,840
She's just as much my friend.
48
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,080
No, she's not, because I was
the one who made friends with her.
49
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,320
You're a friend of a friend.
Friend-ish. Friendoid.
50
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,440
Well, I'm not competing.
51
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,120
Oh, whatever. Yeah?
52
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,400
You're jealous cos I've
someone else to have fun with.
53
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,160
Well, I have more fun with Tamara.
54
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,840
On my fun scale,
she's 85%, you are just 40.
55
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,240
40?! Who invented Cake Soup
and Roulade Roulette?
56
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,680
I'll tell you who,
Captain Fun Times.
57
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,120
Well, did I, or did I not, invent
Talk Like Duncan Bannatyne Day?
58
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,560
Boring. Very boring game.
59
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,280
The game that you love, is my game:
Where's Miranda?
60
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,080
Found her!
61
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,800
Opening the door, are we?
62
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,520
Putting "are we" after a fact
does not make it an insult.
63
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:49,360
What are you doing? Just taking an
early lunch break to meet my friend.
64
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,320
My friend. My friend.
My friend. My friend.
65
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,000
Ooh, wearing our coat from
Gap for Kids, are we?
66
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,600
It does work.
67
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,160
Excuse me, I'm first...
68
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,000
Hi, Clive. Is Tamara here?
She's out buying milk.
69
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,120
I'd say she won't be long,
but she's probably skiving again.
70
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,400
It's all finished.
Just a loose wing nut, to be honest.
71
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,800
Phwoar!
72
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,480
Just needed a bit of muscle,
that's all, know what I mean?
73
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,000
Cheers. Yeah, I thought
it was probably the wing nut.
74
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,520
Here you go, mate. There's a score.
75
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,880
Cheers, mate. Be lucky.
All right, son.
76
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:28,360
What? You just tried to get
all builder alpha male.
77
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,320
What do you mean "tried to"?
I'm alpha male.
78
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,840
Ryan! Ryan! Excuse me.
79
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,200
Just add a bit of parsley.
80
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,520
"Just add a bit of parsley".
81
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,600
All right!
82
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,000
Oooh!
83
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000
Miranda, can we...?
84
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,160
So have you thought any more
about us...? What?
85
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,880
The "us spending the night together"
86
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,240
Thingimyjig? A bit.
87
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,160
I've literally
thought of nothing else.
88
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,560
Great. Cos I still really
want to give us a chance,
89
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,480
so I wondered if you might want
to go on another date this week?
90
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,080
Yeah. Great. Great.
91
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,040
So I'm alpha male enough
for you, then? You, alpha male?!
92
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,800
Sorry, sorry.
93
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,120
Tamara!
94
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,440
Tamara! Tamara, Tamara...
95
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,880
# We love you, Tamara
96
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,680
# You're only a day away. #
97
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,080
Oh, what a lovely welcome.
Hey, girls.
98
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,520
I'll put the milk in the fridge,
then, shall I?
99
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,600
I thought you said she was
a good waitress in Hong Kong.
100
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,640
Give it a rest.
101
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:29,600
So, I've just been handed
this leaflet for an art class,
for painting, from tonight.
102
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,720
Thought maybe it's fate.
You up for it?
103
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,520
Yeah, sure. Yeah, wicked, yeah.
104
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,320
I've always liked art. Do you like
Botticelli? Oh, amazing. Amazing.
105
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,520
You don't know what Botticelli is.
Yes, I do. It's an ice cream.
106
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,640
Yes, obviously that was a joke.
107
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,920
So... Boticelli is?
108
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,000
Um...
109
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,000
A painter.
110
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,240
When did he paint?
111
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,440
He painted in...
112
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,640
He painted in...the renAI-ssance!
113
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000
I've always said it like that.
114
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,920
And what kind of paintings?
115
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,000
Big ones...
116
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,720
specialising in...
117
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,120
Oooh...
118
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,080
Nuu...
119
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,040
Nuuudes.
120
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:30,080
He painted nuuudes
in the RenAI-ssance.
121
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,080
Yeah, so count ME in, yeah.
122
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,160
Great. I'll get some drinks.
123
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,880
"Nuuuddes"? Being an idiot, are we?
124
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:43,440
Slapping me, are we?
Ow! No, you hit me first.
125
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,040
Stop it! Oi!
126
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,160
Oh, hi, Tamara.
127
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,720
Coming down the stairs, are we?
128
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,160
Sitting behind the till, are we?
129
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,960
Using the "are we", are we?
130
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,680
Hi, darling.
Hi, Stevie, how are you?
131
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,440
Well, I'm all right... Oh, good.
132
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:07,840
Now... Look what your
hip mother has got herself.
133
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,520
A portable phone.
134
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:15,400
It's a MO-bile.
Only 20 years behind.
135
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,240
I wasn't going to get one on
principle, but your father insisted.
136
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,800
He said saucy text messages
were all the rage.
137
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,240
I thought being rude on the phone
meant working for BT.
138
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:32,120
Now listen, Phyllida's cousin,
Julian Langtuttington, single,
139
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,080
is arranging a vegan barbecue.
I mean, what is the point?
140
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,720
What are they going to do,
grill a bread roll?
141
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,080
But then again Julian
is a little bit...
142
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,920
He thought pot pourri
was a tropical disease.
143
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:46,960
I think he needs...
144
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,000
No, you see, all I'm seeing is...
145
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,360
FULL-TIME CARE!
146
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,720
All right!
147
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,560
Phillip is going
to text me the details.
148
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,880
You should've asked,
I could've been busy.
149
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,080
Ooh!
150
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,800
A text!
151
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,840
Oh, bear with, bear with.
152
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,360
Such fun.
153
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,640
Oh, just wear your glasses.
154
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,640
It's bad for your eyes to strain.
155
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,680
I think glasses look very
elegant on an older woman.
156
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,880
Older woman?
A mature lady. A woman of your age.
157
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,400
And what age would that be?
158
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,360
Oh, um...
159
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,520
Scared!
160
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,640
Six... Fifty-ni...
161
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:41,920
eigh...
162
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:46,480
sev...fifty-si...fou...
163
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,800
49?
164
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,840
Very elegant.
165
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,520
As long as you don't wear
them on a chain, cos that
can make you look very old.
166
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,760
What do you mean by very old?
167
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,680
She keeps walking in to it.
168
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,080
Old, you know,
when you're like six...
169
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,120
Ooh!
170
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:08,720
Over a hundred, like your 120s.
171
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:09,800
Right.
172
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,440
So darling, tonight, at... Oh,
I can't tonight, I've got plans.
173
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,560
What? An art class. I do things!
174
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:21,520
Miranda, the last time you went
out after nine o'clock was when
you forgot to put the bins out!
175
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,880
Oh, ha-ha-ha(!)
176
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,840
Excuse me, I have a life.
177
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,960
You do know staying in with
fruit friends doesn't count?
178
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,280
I do not do that.
179
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,760
# It's a shame we never listen.
180
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,480
# I told you through
the television
181
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:51,000
# And all that went away
was the price we paid. #
182
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,880
Yeah, Gordon.
183
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,960
Hello, everybody,
welcome to the class.
184
00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,200
We'll be together for SIX SESSIONS!
Twice weekly, for THREE WEEKS!
185
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,360
Focusing on STILL LIFE!
186
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,760
Hope it's not food.
I'll just want to EAT IT!
187
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,160
Stop it.
188
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,720
I'm just sharing a joke
with MY friend, Tamara.
189
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,760
Tonight we start with LIFE DRAWING.
190
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,480
This is Johnny,
our life model tonight.
191
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,320
And don't forget "Little Johnny."
192
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,600
That's inappropriate.
193
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,000
So, tomorrow night,
we'll be doing the female form.
194
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,680
Unfortunately our regular model
is UNWELL,
195
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,840
so if anyone would like to volunteer,
196
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,120
please do give me a call
in the morning.
197
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,880
I life modelled once. So freeing.
Tamara, that is really brave.
198
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,120
It's good to cross
personal boundaries.
199
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,200
Excuse me, this is
a personal conversation.
200
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,960
Miranda very much stays
in her comfort zone.
201
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,840
That is absolutely not the case.
202
00:10:54,840 --> 00:11:01,080
Only last week,
I had savoury, moved to sweet,
then switched back to savoury.
203
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,400
With your nudity issues,
204
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,280
seeing a naked man
is out of your comfort zone.
205
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,600
I am fine with nudity.
206
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,960
He moved, it moved!
207
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,280
Who said that?
208
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,480
That it so childish.
209
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,480
What?
210
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,080
Hey, crazy ladies...
211
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,240
listen, shall we go out?
212
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,520
When? Tonight. What?
213
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,160
But we are out.
214
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:54,240
Let's go out-out. To a club. Now?!
215
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,240
But it's nearly nine.
216
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:01,840
Four words - Rush. Home. For...
217
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,120
Poirot.
218
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,520
I'm up for going out-out.
219
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,280
Miranda's always very in-in.
220
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,680
Great, so shall I meet you
at the restaurant at 11? 11?!
221
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,960
Yeah, I'm up for it.
Absolutely, yeah.
222
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,560
See you there, dudes!
223
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,360
Gary, listen, I need your help.
I've got to stay awake...
224
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,720
See? Chefs can't be manly.
225
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,240
You're so sweet.
Please don't call me sweet.
226
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,200
Sorry. I need coffee
and something sugary.
227
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,040
I am going out-out with Tamara.
228
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,560
You seem obsessed with Tamara
at the moment. Pavlova OK?
229
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,360
There's no need to cut that.
230
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,840
Thanks. I'm not obsessed with her.
231
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,800
No, she's keeping me young. Plus
Stevie thinks she's a better friend.
232
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,280
Not one of your stupid
competitions again.
233
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,360
OK. First one to pop
all their bubbles.
234
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,240
On your marks, get set... go!
235
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,480
Do you ever feel old at 35?
236
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,560
It's a weird in-between age
if you're single, cos most people...
237
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,720
Are you still single?
238
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,360
I hoped you were off the market.
239
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,440
Yeah?
240
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,200
Yeah, cos I was going to book a room
at that new spa hotel for us.
241
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:22,440
If that's OK? It is. Great.
242
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,360
I'll go and give them a call. OK.
243
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,440
I could do a little weep of joy.
244
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,760
Drooling over Gary, are we?
245
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,840
Mutton dressed as lamb, are we?
246
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,160
Are you ready to party?
247
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,240
Yeah, I'm getting
a bit of a high actually.
248
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,760
Cool, what have you taken? Pavlova.
249
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:43,840
Let's go! OK!
250
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,960
# I'm sick and
tired of my phone ri-ringing! #
251
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,080
I can't believe
the club closed at 2:30!
252
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,600
More music!
253
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,200
Help me, I'm so tired.
254
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,200
Where do you go if you want
to party till dawn?
255
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,720
Come on, let's see the sun rise.
256
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,160
This town is so lame. But it must be
cool here when you're middle-aged.
257
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,280
When you're what now, please?
258
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,280
Aren't you mid-40's?
Oh, it doesn't matter, does it?
259
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,000
It does a bit!
260
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,320
Middle-aged?! Mid-40's?!
261
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,640
We'll show her.
Oh, hide your Midsomer Murder DVDs.
262
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,400
Werthers, knitting. Quick!
263
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,520
We're not sleeping till she sleeps.
Deal? Deal.
264
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,280
Foe no more, friend for sure.
265
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,720
Love you!
266
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,960
This is one of Gary's
favourite songs...
267
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:45,640
Right, come on, funk down.
Show her our stuff.
268
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,280
Time? 3:15. OK. Cola.
269
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,800
Energy drink.
270
00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:00,640
Coffee. OK. Come on, girls...
271
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,160
Make over.
272
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,280
Go on without me, save yourself.
273
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,800
You can do this.
274
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,360
I love this game!
275
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,840
Come on!
276
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,200
More coffee! Yes!
277
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,560
Come on. Yes. Yes, coffee, quickly.
278
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,400
Its 9am! Too late for sleep!
279
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:59,040
Let's go swimming! Come on.
280
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,520
I thought there was another step
but they've finished, I hate that.
281
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,840
I'll just get my costume
and meet you back here.
282
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,600
I find a swim is often
better than a sleep. Don't you?
283
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,320
Yes.
284
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,680
No!
285
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,080
Hey, and let's go shopping later.
286
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,520
Shopping?!
287
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,120
Get up!
288
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,080
We can do this!
I will not be defeated.
289
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,040
We are young. Are you still with me?
290
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,840
I'm with you.
291
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:40,400
All right, ladies. So, Miranda,
you wanted to go to a hotel?
292
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,440
I've booked a room.
293
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,240
So come to my bar later and I'll
take you there in my transit.
294
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,760
Alpha male enough for you?
Yes... Yay! You're ruining it.
295
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:56,480
Sorry. All right, all right. See you
later, see you later, sweet cheeks.
296
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,840
Ooh, somebody's just been woo-ed.
297
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,640
That was one hell of a woo.
298
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,480
100 woo points to him.
299
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,400
Welcome to Woo Central.
300
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,840
It's woo-nderful.
301
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,800
You've woo-uined it.
302
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:17,680
Stevie, it's actually happening
with him. I feel teary again.
303
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,000
Are you ready?
I'll go get changed then.
304
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,760
I'll meet you at the swimming pool.
305
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,960
Swimming! I can't,
I'll be too tired for tonight.
306
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,160
You can do this, or do you want
everyone to think
307
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:34,280
you're so old before your time
you've joined the National Trust
just for the gift shops?
308
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,560
You'll turn in to an even posher
version of your what-I-call-mother
309
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,280
and whenever you taste a cake
you'll say...
310
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,240
Ooh, good lord, that's moist.
311
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,360
That's an excellent point,
Stevie. Agh!
312
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:49,760
That's an excellent point. Right.
313
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,920
Right, this is the plan.
You go swimming.
314
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,800
Then I'll take over and go shopping.
315
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,120
She won't know we're
sleeping between shifts.
316
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,680
Between us, we'll make
an excellent 20-something.
317
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,920
The stop of us will be un-twoable.
318
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,360
No. Many lights make hands work.
319
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,840
Come on!
320
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,880
Right, swimming things...
321
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,560
You can do this.
322
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,320
# You've got to search
for the hero inside yourself! #
323
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,880
Wake up! Ooh! What am I doing here?
324
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,200
Swimming things.
Swimming things! Right.
325
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,520
What am I doing in here?
Swimming things!
326
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,720
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
327
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,160
Can I help you at all, madam?
328
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,920
Should have changed at home.
Fine with it.
329
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,920
I'll see you in there. Great, yeah.
330
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,920
Can't wait. Won't be long.
331
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,000
(Why, why would you?!)
332
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,080
Tit in eye.
333
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,640
And dignity intact.
334
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,800
I have a massive problem
with nudity.
335
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,240
No! Did you keep up with her?
336
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,800
Yes.
337
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:20,800
Are you OK? Fine.
Right, OK, focus, I need your help.
338
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,640
Because art class, changing room,
339
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,880
I'm all cringed out and if I'm going
to be wooed tonight, Stevie,
340
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,000
I've got to find a way
to claim nakedity.
341
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,920
OK, calm.
You just need to normalise it, OK?
342
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,320
The next person who walks
through that door,
343
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,080
just imagine they're naked.
344
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,200
Agh!
345
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,120
Charming.
346
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:47,040
Darling, Phyllida has changed the
barbecue to tonight, so you can
come... I can't do tonight either.
347
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,800
Woo! A text! Bear with, bear with.
348
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,760
Um... Can you read that for me?
349
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,960
Oh, yeah. It's Dad.
"Heading home, terrible golf game,
350
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,320
"come and join me in the bath
for a hole in one,
351
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,240
"I want to show you my loofah."
Urgh!
352
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,840
You've got to wear your glasses!
353
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,720
I've got a bath to go to.
354
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:10,760
Urgh!
355
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,800
I'm sort of officially cringed-out.
356
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,160
It's like I've eaten cotton wool.
357
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:26,280
OK, this can't go wrong with Gary
tonight, Stevie, because this is
it with him, this is our moment.
358
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,960
The night when dos become uno.
359
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,840
Oh, I've had an idea.
360
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,000
It's quite out there. Yes.
361
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,480
I'm going to ring and say I want to
be the life model for the art class.
362
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,960
Well, if I can get naked
with a bunch strangers,
363
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:46,000
there'll be no shyness tonight.
I will have claimed my nude-nisity.
364
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Go for it. You've got to love
your body, I do. Mine, not yours.
365
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,680
If I had to rate myself... Hips,
ten, thighs, ten, breasts, ten.
366
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,000
Sounds like one of my KFC orders.
367
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,120
Good evening, everybody. This
is Miranda, our model for TONIGHT!
368
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,640
We're very excited, very Rubenesque.
369
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:13,280
You'll see we have curves, contours,
undulations... Undulations.
370
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,080
I'm a woman, not a B road.
371
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,920
And because of her height,
372
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,400
she has an excellent sweep.
373
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,960
Thank you very much.
374
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,440
Keep your eye out for Sooty.
375
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,720
Sounded wrong.
376
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,960
If you want to disrobe and
make yourself comfortable.
377
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,360
Right. Um, OK.
378
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,840
No. I can do this.
379
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,360
Excuse me.
380
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,240
I did it!
381
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,480
Well done.
382
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,560
Rude.
383
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,400
So, are you taking this Rubenesque
beauty out tonight or what?
I have never been more ready.
384
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,920
Wow. Well, yes, I am.
385
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,440
# Let's get it on... #
386
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,080
Ooh.
387
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,600
Ooh, I'm so sorry, sir!
388
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,960
Sorry. Sorry.
389
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,680
Wow, you are... Give me a minute,
I'll go and get my things. OK.
390
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,400
Clive! I'm knocking off early.
391
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,680
Here you are. How was it?
392
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:31,360
She was ace. I think it's
one of my best paintings.
393
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,440
Well, when you've got
an excellent nuuude.
394
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,840
Tamara, I asked you to clear
that table. Oh, yeah, sorry Clive.
395
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,400
One sec. So, this band
is doing a 24-hour gig,
396
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,640
dawn till dawn. Wanna come?
397
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,160
Dawn? I can't go on.
398
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,680
My name's Miranda
and my idea of a big night
399
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,840
is a getting through
a giant Toblerone with
an omnibus of Countryfile.
400
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:57,080
Yeah, I know, it is lovely. And
the only reason I'd be up at dawn
is if I woke up needing the loo.
401
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:02,040
My name's Stevie and it's
my ambition is to grow vegetables
and make my own ratatouille.
402
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,560
Oh, that's lovely. I know.
403
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,160
A kitchen garden. We're very old.
404
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,800
What's ratatouille? You don't need
to know that yet, all in good time.
405
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,400
Consider us, your Auntie Miranda
and your Auntie Stevie.
406
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,120
Are you still gossiping? Sorry.
407
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,120
Right, that's it, you're fired.
408
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:23,720
Sorry, Gary, but you only employed
her cos she's your wife
or whatever the set up is...
409
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,000
I didn't say anything.
410
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,040
No, you did, you said
"she's your wife".
411
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,640
Who's his wife?
412
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,520
Is Tamara your wife?
413
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,680
No. Not really.
414
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,240
Technically, she's my wife.
415
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,360
What?!
416
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,120
Doesn't matter. I'll explain
on the way to the hotel.
417
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,520
Oh, my... Are you two together?
418
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,880
Tamara's your wife?!
419
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,640
Were you eloping? Clive, shush.
420
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,160
Clive... Married to Gary, are we?
421
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,560
Miranda, I can explain. No, no.
Gary, I don't know what to say.
422
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:01,880
# You say it best when
you say nothing at all. #
423
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,920
Clive, can you switch that off,
please? Sorry.
424
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,760
I was trying to do an angry rant
to storm out to and..
425
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,160
I did a life class... Oh, forget it!
426
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,720
Miranda!
427
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,360
Sorry, what do you mean
you're married?
428
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:22,080
She's a friend from Hong Kong and
for a pass to study here I said I'd
do the green card thing for a visa.
429
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,680
I know I'm an idiot.
But I owed her massive favour.
430
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,160
Come on, it's not like
I'm still sleeping with her.
431
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,360
Still? Gary, still?
432
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,280
Sorry, sorry...
433
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,440
it was a while ago, it was when
I was travelling. Just a fling.
434
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,720
And you let me become
friends with her.
435
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,040
You knew what a big deal
this was for me, but you obviously
don't feel the same, do you?
436
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,160
Because if you really cared, you
wouldn't keep such a massive secret.
437
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,600
Taking me to a hotel room wasn't
another romantic gesture, was it?
438
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,680
It was just going
to be a meaningless fling,
only this one won't end in marriage!
439
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,360
Now, THAT was quite GOOD!
440
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,240
But I've stormed out of my own flat!
441
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,840
You get out.
442
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,440
Come on, let's talk, please.
443
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,280
I only didn't tell you because
I knew you'd overreact.
444
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,840
Overreact?!
It doesn't mean anything,
it was a favour for a friend.
445
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,600
So you've done everything
perfectly in your life, have you?
446
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,600
That is not the point,
I can't talk about this now!
447
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,400
Can you get out the way
so I can slam the door?
448
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,960
No! You're meant to be
on the other side!
449
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,560
We can't even do arguing properly!
450
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,560
Ow! Oh, a real man
wouldn't have felt that!
451
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,680
Oh!
452
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:41,280
I'm so tired but I'm too angry
and upset to go to sleep.
453
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:51,040
# Didn't we almost have it all?
454
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,280
How long have you been
hovering over that play button?
455
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,880
40 minutes.
456
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,480
Morning. Morning.
457
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,600
Oh, yes they do
a lovely breakfast here.
458
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,320
Comes with egg,
two sausage and a green card!
459
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,400
Miranda, can we talk, please?
460
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,000
Listen, please tell me
we can move on from this?
461
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,400
Yes, I do want to
move on from this.
462
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,000
Really?
463
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,960
Thank you, thank you.
464
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,080
Listen, Tamara's gone. She thought
it'd be best to get out of the way.
465
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,000
I only didn't tell you because...
No, Gary wait...
466
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,000
I want to move on from you, us.
467
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,280
I never really know
what you really want
468
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,920
and when I finally thought that you
knew, there was this massive lie.
469
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,520
And I can't handle it.
470
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:44,360
You know? So, you'll never get
to see my naked sweep.
471
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,920
Sorry.
472
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,480
Clive, what is this?
473
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:57,800
Tamara left it for the restaurant.
An apology gift. Wow.
474
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,320
So that's your naked sweep.
475
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,960
Oh, no! Gary, don't look! Don't! No!
476
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,720
What's everyone doing here?
477
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,240
Nobody look.
478
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Well, this is a new low.
479
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,080
Nice undulations.
480
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,280
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
481
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,320
www.Addic7ed.com
36519
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